Someone is a little late to this party, hmm? Staff sergeant Moran (his real name, for real, real as they come) heard a totally wicked story “from some guy” that President Obama is a godless robot with a fake human birth certificate. QRAZY, RIGHT? Sergeant Moran is just as freaked out as everyone else, and he has some incoherent demands to make. Moran taped a video of himself claiming to be AWOL from his duties in Germany (he wasn’t), dared the Air Force to arrest him or Obama, and them rambled for a while about secret emails with “a lady” (hello, Orly Taitz) and some stuff about Jesus. Oh yeah and, “In identifying [Obama] as my enemy and proclaiming him to be the enemy of the entire country, I squarely place myself in the same situation as himself,” whatever that means/ means that Moran is a homo Muslim robot. Well frankly, we do not really believe Sergeant Moran really is who he says he is. No one just grows his birther wings now for the very first time, in 2011, over two years late. So yeah, uh, let’s roll the video!
Why is this news? Because “birther nuts are fun,” and because Moran is so comically named that news outlets will invent a reason: “He is the first military guy to refuse to serve since President Obama actually produced his birth certificate.” Uh, except that: the Air Force says that Moran is not AWOL and that he is on approved leave awaiting discharge. But don’t let that detract from the magic.
From TalkingPointsMemo’s first story about Sergeant Moran:
“The reason I no longer obey the Commander-in-Chief is not because he’s Black, but because he has no credible proof that he is an American,” Moran wrote in the comment section of Glenn Beck’s The Blaze. “It’s simple. Arrest B. Obama or arrest me.”
Aaaaaand from the second:
In addition to his opposition to gays serving openly in the military, Moran seems to have had trouble serving alongside Muslims as well. As the Air Force Times reported, he said that he was removed from his position when a coworker complained because she “couldn’t handle” him asking a Muslim doctor in his unit about her faith.
“My conscience is violated,” he said. “I feel like I’m supporting the flag of whatever those Islamic countries are and the rainbow flag and not the red, white and blue. That’s not the kind of people I want to be associated with.”
Who understood any of that? Anyone here speak Victimese? [TPM]
{ 305 comments }
I can't get past that his name is Moran. Sometimes I feel that universe exists to fuck with my head specifically.
An aptronym if ever there were one.
GET A BRIAN!
Please tell me his name is not BRIAN. Please. Pretty, pretty please. Or I'm going to have to rip someone's carotid out and decorate the office with it.
Truly. UNABLE TO GET PAST HIS NAME.
To his name?!
You got further than I did!
One of those conservatard/teabagger moments that's so over-the-top stupid, mindless and absurd that it defies satire. The best writers at The Onion are staring at that video, and saying "Shit, there's no way I can improve on this."
Hurts, don't it? You can't make up shit like this.
If your name is Moran, I would think it would be in your best interest to not attract attention to yourself.
Notice the conspicuous silence from his friend, Private Dumass.
And of his wife, Incontinentia Buttocks.
Dick Butkus could not be reached for comment.
But Dick Armey is preparing a statement.
Wait till he runs into that placard-carrying teabagger. Hilarity, and severe beatings, will surely ensue.
I thought you knew that already.
What exactly happens when God "blesses a video"?
It sure doesn't do much for the sound quality. What a half-assed blessing.
Same thing that happens when it blesses anything else?
God puts the lotion on its skin..
It redeems the souls of the pixels that were lost to the mpeg compression process. Or maybe that's how it gets from PAL to NTSC.
It is because the video sneezed. God is polite. Like my dog barking at the tv doorbell, it is inexplicable.
If Rick Perry prayed for God's blessing, the video tape would self destruct in ten seconds.
Maybe a halo appears around it later.
3. PROFIT!!!
The video then sneezes.
same shit that happened in 'the ring' and the american remake.
demons down a well.
Because two things that go great together are fundamentalist Muslins and Teh Gheyz.
Like peanut butter and KY jelly!
Girl? Santorum jelly.
You've clearly never heard of Queers For Palestine.
Ignore the rest of the neo-con screed, but it's the best summary I can find of these nuts.
Get a brain, Moran. (Somebody was gonna say it,)
You forgot to add "GO USA!"
"Cardinals Fan Libel" also.
Has no one ever said this to him? How is that possible?
Ooo, they've said it, alright. Over and over again. He hears it in his dreams. Why do you think he's so damn crazy?
OK, OK, OK.
Which wonketeer was gonna say it?
One, two three all together now
"ALL OF EM, KATIE!!111!"
I said it so no one else would have to.
You know a Moran when you see one when the Moran says, “Arrest B. Obama or arrest me” and doesn't include the President's middle name.
So the "get a brain" biker guy was on our side. Who knew? Go U.S.A.!!1!
First they came for the brainless Morans, and I said nothing because it was damn funny.
Then I ate popcorn and roasted marshmallows as they burned the bankers.
Somebody did. Several somebodies, in fact. I might even have been one of them.
Aren't Red, White and Blue colors of the rainbow? Lighten up, Francis.
Aren't red, white, and blue the colors of the French and Russian flags? He's a cheese-eating surrender commie!
Guys! This is GREAT free publicity for The Blaze! I bet I can find a million people on Facebook who 'like' The Blaze!
I can't believe that there's a website that calls itself "The Blaze" and it's not explicitly a gay-lifestyle site.
Too obvious.
Well, not 'explicitly' anyway.
Not gonna watch this jackass, but he looks pretty well gay as Harvey Milk's boyfriend.
Yeah, but 93% of them won't post this to
theirthere status.The Perry 2012 campaign sounds like a suitable employer for this treasonous rambling idiot. I heard he's hiring.
The application process involves that very special head stroke maneuver.
You mean the one some Texans develop from "petting" goats?
Jinx! "Pet goats"
I'm surprised he hasn't been talked up as a running mate.
Perry/Moran 2012!
TPTB might have figured that one Moran on the ticket was plenty enough.
Judging the book by the cover, the story goes like this: This fat fuck couldn't pass his PT test as well as being a total loon and got discharged for mental and physical deficiencies. But, hey, who wants to tell that to his loser friends back home when he can make it a global conspiracy involving blacks, gays Muslims and phony birth certificates?
Can I tell his friends back home? That is something I think Wonketteers would volunteer for.
It's a bit of a drive, and I don't know if he ever trained there, but I can scoot on over to Hancock Field to show everyone this video.
But Bumfug, he specifically said it's NOT becuz of the blacks. You think it might be?!
Not all of them, only the ones that don't know their place and get all uppity just 'cause they got elected and shit.
uh, friends back home??? Sounds like he and his father are just about it for the social circle.
how did this certifiable loon make Sgt.? his supervisors must be pretty good judges of character, no?
is this the kind of people we want moving up the ranks in our patriotic military, defending this democracy?
or did he just somehow slip through the veils?
Caught licking dick, also.
Introducing your next Defense Secretary, Daryn Moran.
This man is already shortlisted for the Perry administration.
Who understood any of that? Anyone here speak Victimese?
Quick, somebody send the video to Sarah Palin for translation.
…but it's not because he's black. Oh no.
Does the USAF still do "Section 8" removals? This poor schlub needs (and finally will get) the mental health treatment he needs.
Too bad most birthers don't have as good a health plan.
I b'leev that's what the military said — he has been placed on leave prior to separation for mental health reasons. That's about as "we're dumping him for being bugfuck crazy" as they can get, no? Oh, yes, they added that they had no comment on his comments to the press or to blogs.
AP reports he's been discharged. (No word on whether it's "honorable" or not.) So I take it back: he gets no help after all, just gets sent home to live in his birther dad's basement.
Unless, of course, he wises up to the possibilities of touring the country in a big ol' bus, charging the teabagging rubes for the privilege of listening to him gibber. (I wish this was only snark … you know damned well they'd lap it up.)
They would, except that he sounds like he really is bugfuck crazy. I predict they will realize this very soon, if they haven't already, and dump him like a sack o' hot potatoes.
But can he prove he's black??? AAAHHH HAAAAAAAA!!! SHOW US YOUR FREE THROW!
We've got you now BOY.
Things sure are a lot different these days. Back when I was in the Military all we did was drink ourselves into a stupor every night.
Good times, good times.
Considering that the Air Force's mission in our current wars is basically that of a delivery service and random wedding bombing, I'd say our war-fighting capability is not dangerously diminished by SSgt Moran's mutiny.
He's a fucking ophthalmology technician.
That’s Combat Ophthalmology Technician to you, buddy. Leaning forward in the foxhole.
How many fingers am I holding up? No seriously, a grenade just went off in my hand!
People join the Air Force to avoid just that sort of unpleasantness. Scariest weapon this guy'd be touching is a LASIK machine.
Ahahahahaha . . . thanks, that felt good.
Yet he's blind to the facts. Only in the military…
Color Blind? Nah!
yeah… I should have said, "selectively blind".
The 57 varieties of 'baggers and 'tards infesting the right wing do seem to latch on to a few realities before their imaginations take flight, and the skin tone of the President seems to be high on the list of things they've noticed. That, the wars, and the loss of their jobs and/or homes, pretty much covers what they actually do know.
Can't the troops just do what I do (at my age). I hold the war out at the extents of my reach and then adjust my gaze and squint. Is that teh gaze he has a problem with??
Another titless WAF? Wasn't the last Birther Scum moran that said he wasn't going to deploy a doctor or some stupid shit like that?
I know, I thought that was the funniest part, for some reason.
Exactly. Probably just wipes down the machines they use to check your vision. Calibrates them, on his good days. The Mighty War Machine is sure to grind to a halt without his enthusiastic participation.
Let's see… Army has airplanes. Navy (and by extension, Marines) have airplanes. Fuck, the COAST Guard has airplanes. Remind me again why we have an Air Force?
Intercontinental land-based ballistic missiles are an Air Force exclusive, as are long-range bombers – all that Curtis Lemay/Dr Strangelove stuff
The Air Force serves a vital role in today's armed services. Without it, what kind of cushy jobs could we give to the sons of politicians and major campaign donors?
Someone has to go home to hot meals and showers every night.
Are you talking about former pilots Juan McCain, Rick Perry or George Bush?
From my days in the Air Force, I recall they control 2/3rds of the "nuclear triad," and I can't help but wonder what this here Moran's job was while he was in. Unnerving.
Bomb humper. Supply. Clerical
Dick-licker, asswipe, chucklehead.
Could REMF possibly apply to him? Opthalmological technician.
"whatever those Islamic countries are", haha, he doesn't even know what he hates
Shocking isn't it?
I don't know what it is, but I know I hate it.
I know! I hate it more!!!….
Inscrutable Arabs, come sit with us Asian devils.
These folks happily admit they don't know FACTS, but when somebody else does, they're "elitist" and must be eliminated.
Sounds like he's pulling a Corporal Klinger to me. Either that, or he's in line to "go postal".
Beat me to it. Maybe we should start a collection and buy him a darling strapless evening gown?
Lighten up, Francis.
I think the the flag of whatever those Islamic countries are is a burning American flag.
I thought that was the US flag after Obama won
Sgt. Moran And His Howling Delusions
I don't remember the 70's all that well – was that an American Band?
I think they opened for Led Zeppelin once. Or maybe that was Johnny Moran.
I hear the Commandos made an appearance sans-Nick Fury in the Captain America movie, because the Marvel Cinematic Universe Nick Fury is now Samuel L. Jackson, not the old WWII hero/1960s spy.
At least three of them were in there– Dugan, Gabe, and the Nisei guy.
See what happens when we let Morans serve openly.
All I heard was "blah blah blah, World Nut Daily, blah blah, I'm a sinner, Obama, blah." Whatever, Moran.
I think that's an excerpt from the teabagger bodice-ripper: "The Muslim Usurper and the Dainty White Maiden."
Wow, you have the best reading material, I swear. Where de white women at? I mean, Where can I get my greasy, dusky paws on a clean, virginal copy?
you actually LISTENED to his video? wow you have more courage/ booze than I do
Off Topic
Hey, not sure if anyone noticed but Glen Beck has just made some deeply off kilter remarks about the only other divinely chosen country beside the US of A: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/16/glenn-be... http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-4110012...
It only begins with his shock that the righteous Jews care about affordable housing or want (Sweet Jehovah) the rich to pay higher taxes…
The last time there was a video this senseless and rambling it was shot just before the Heavens Gate cult all decided to take a nap with plastic bags over their heads.
Or maybe it was the most recent Orly Taitz video.
It's a toss-up.
I was momentarily pleased with the image of a plastic bag over Orly Taitz's head. More of that liberal intolerance I spew.
A throw-up. But I digress.
He could be the "Joe the Plumber" for the 2012 erection…er, election.
Is there anything sadder than showing up wearing last year's conspiracy theory? Nutjob FAIL.
Wow. Moet & Chandon have got nothing compared to Moran's Fine Whine.
Anybody arrest this prick, anyway? For fun?
Nope, the Air Force is just discharging him and saying, "This is your problem, Society, not ours."
Yaaaaaaaay just what i wanted another sociopath i'll need to get some storage space for them all.
Hint: If you kill them first, they're easier to stack.
Ha!
How Reaganesque!
Where do we find these people?
They find us.
Breitbart.tv and the various BigWhatever.coms?
Needs moar precious bodily fluids.
GET A BIRTHER CERTI-
FICATEBIGOT, MORAN!1!What? TelePrompter fail. Kenyan wins.
I thought members of the military needed to be physically fit.
In theory…
Line animals yes. Guys in the rear, not so much. I met one blob of goo who was AF and I still don't know how he passed the physical test. At the time I tried to enlist I could run 4 miles in less than 30 minutes, do 50 pushups in 90 seconds and do 20 chin ups, but did not get accepted due to poor eyesight.
Doesn't a birther being a crazy Moran kind of go without saying?
Aren't the really crazy ones usually in the Marines?
Yes. Along with being the most fuckable, they are pretty crazy aren't they?
Do a search on Google books for something about Marines always wanting to be the bottom. I used to have the link handy.
The Air Force is filled with crazed fundamentalist Christians who have pretty much taken over the Air Force Academy and harass and proselytize to non-Christians in the service.
My research indicates that Christian Air Force Scientists operating in a clandestine Brotherhood have analyzed the airspace above most of the world via manned craft and satellite, and have pinpointed the location of what sages and saints throughout the centuries have referred to as the "Stairway To Heaven" or "Jacob's Ladder." They are utilizing advanced theoretical physics, combined in a novel way with Biblical Numerology, in an attempt to open a direct portal to the Kingdom. The Lord's benevolent, moving finger has obscured and concealed their holy work from Defense Department oversight.
This is more coherent and plausible than Birtherism.
So wait, do you know if there's a bustle in their hedgerow?
I wouldn't be alarmed.
This is also a more productive use of military research dollars.
To be a rock, and not to roll.
It really is.
I'm always amazed at the number of knots the birfers can tie themselves in without even trying. I remember when flights to Africa were hideously expensive (they're still not cheap at all) and difficult, to boot. In the 70s and 80s, it was still difficult to travel to and from, and many airlines would not accept pregnant ladies. Yet these dim bulbs are convinced that a Black African man took his extremely pregnant white wife to a remote village in an underdeveloped nation to give birth to her first child. They have yet to explain how that fine lady got the kid back into the country with no record of a passport or travel papers whatsoever, but, hey. Logic is clearly not their strong point.
Actually, he was a Marine first according to the article, then re-enlisted after 9/11 to go get them Muslims.
It seems to be the sailors are always killing hookers and local women and dying on tour. The Marines, though, are the kind that will dismember you and hide you in a suitcase.
Off I rant into the wild blue yonder,
Bitching lots about the One;
Here they come running cause I'm a nutter,
At 'em White Xtians, Give 'im the Taintz! (Give 'im theTaintz now!)
Down we dive, spouting our shit of blunder,
Off with a really lame rant!
We live in fame or go down in flame.
Hey! Nothing'll stop the Birther Force!
This reminds me of the other great Air Force Christian anthem, "Sit On God's Grace, and Tell Him That You'll Serve Him":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKV3GC0RERs
Nope, not watching it. I'd rather fuck a cactus. Those choice bits are enough.
Christine O'Donnell?
You always want to bring a bottle of conditioner on a date with Xtine.
I shudder to think what the loss of this "ophthalmology technician" will do to our defense capabilities.
"Please inform me when you receive this email"
I love to write in emails "Let me know if you don't get this email."
Anyway, back to the Moran. I'm pretty sure this is what watching Glenn Beck will do to your brain. Is anyone else concerned that this guy probably has access to weapons?
Please inform me when you receive this email by sending a SASE to: Moran's Confirmation Station, PO Box 5150, Lower Tardville, MO 64153.
This is America; EVERYBODY'S got access to weapons. It's in the Constitooshun, y'know.
If you are unable to read these instructions, please notify a flight attendant.
There are no atheists in foxholes, but there sure are a lot of birthers.
The good thing for Sgt. Moran is that when the Gay Muslims take over, they will only last a generation.
Don't nobody tell him that. Let him try to figure it out. Keep him busy for a few years.
Lemmie tell you something, Moran, until you've sinned with me you haven't truly sinned with the best of 'em. Not even close.
Mandrake, I suppose it never occurred to you...
Presidentin' is too important to be left to the President.
~
P.O.E.
Do people that believe this bullshit find this person convincing?
I have no snark here, at all, I am completely gobsmacked.
Lucky girl.
I haven't had my Gob smacked in a long while
That's "gob," toots, not "knob."
hehe…you said 'gobsmacked'…I don't even know what it means but made me snort wine out my nose!
He is just using this as a ruse in order to get introduced to Orly Taitz.
Because he has a thing for older, crazy ladies with bad wigs, bad makeup, the inability to SHUT THE FUCK UP, general sociopathic tendencies and have professional careers as Dentists/Lawyers/Real Estate Agents.
Also, cocks. He probably has a thing for big, sweaty cocks.
But then don't we all?
But did he wish Elvis a happy birthday?
Also, too, you are sworn to obey the commands of your enemy to the letter, or you will go to a nice Military prison somewhere. Just sayin'.
yeah pretty sure there isn't a nutso-logic get out clause!
The video would be a lot more persuasive with the caption "OBAMA HALF-BREED MUSLIN".
"The reason I no longer obey the Commander-in-Chief is not because he’s Black, but because he has no credible proof that he is an American, because he's black."
Did he catch the neurocysticercosis from Lou Sarah. Dr. Owl? Dr. Owl? Care to conjecture on this?
I've been asked, blah, blah,inclusive, blah, disturbing, blah, blah, um, blah, important, blah, however, blah, blah, time, time, in time, blah, God, blah, two points of emphasis, God, blah, Obama, blah, blah, aware of my argument, blah, blah, veins, blah, sin, sin, sin, argument, Obama proof, blah, more sin, blah, God loves my two points of emphasis, blah, family breakfast, Obama enemy, blah, God, fight, blah, BIRTH CERTIFICATE! FUCKING FINALLY!
It's a good thing this idiot is being discharged so he won't be around things that make big booms.
See, this is just what Rick Perry was going on about, when he said that there needs to be a president that the military respects! And everyone jumped all over him. I am sure this is just the tip of the iceberg. I bet there are millions of Morans out there, millions of vile racist fucktards who can't stand the fact that the president is black. Hell, on election night in 2008, I was so filled with joy, just contemplating how angry and bitter all those morans were going to be for the next 4 years.
A guy who is this much of a pussy shouldn't be in the military at all. He wouldn't be worth much in a fight. Hell, I could punch Moran out and I lost my last fistfight in the fifth grade. He is that much of a limp sac of pus.
The moron Moran sounds like he has more than just a skeleton in his closet.
maybe not the whole skeleton but definitely some bones.
He apparently has a problem with that bitch that done snitched him out, too.
"…I'm in my home…I'm not out in public speaking and I think that speaks to the seriousness of the situation."
Uhh, I'm guessing that the real reason you made theis PSA (Piece of Shit Ad) in your garage or wherever and did not take your message to the street is because it was made patently clear in kindergarten that you were never to be given a piece of posterboard and a Magic Marker. Mainly because you would write something that's fucking r3tarded.
And probably because he'd start eating the ink.
Oh, I absolutely think he was given cartons of Magic Markers, all of which he huffed until they were dry. That would account for at least 1/3 of his evident insanity, no?
There is something in what you say.
Would've been better if he used the video to ask Orly Taitz to the Air Force Ball.
Perfect.
Once a Moran, always a Moran.
Wildly OT but I have to bloviate. Here in San Diego our football team is engaged in a long-term program to extort a more lucrative stadium than the one the taxpayers already built them. They've engaged a former city attorney to write an op-ed explaining why this is necessary. Herewith, his sole argument:
"But San Diego cannot afford to lose what the Chargers contribute to community-building in our city. We need more high-fives in San Diego, not fewer. Philosophers Hubert Dreyfus and Sean Kelly express how many of us feel about the 'sacred' moments in sports: 'When a wave is at its most powerful it is a solid foundation that can support as many riders as will fill upon it.' The Chargers have provided many sacred moments over the years and we need to keep the team in San Diego to provide many more."
Let them go. I love football and have been on that very field (more than once–nuff said), but there's no way the citizens of any city should provide any business with a tax-payer funded workplace. Imagine if the citizens of San Diego built a new airport using tax dollars just so FedEx could fly there. Outrage! Same here. Fuck 'em.
The Libertarian Republic of Sealandia would never put up with that.
You can only shoot so many professional athletes before you run out of teams.
Mayor should just respond "Sorry. In this economy, we can't afford to raise taxes on the job creators. CYA BYE."
This football team provides sacred moments? Why not just build them a church?
Well, Jerry Jones got his by moving to Arlington. It is a feat of engineering but I am not sure normal folks with normal paychecks can get in there. Cowboys! America's Team! (gag)
Well you could reeferendum it and vote it down like we did here in C'Addle, but they built it anyway with a heavy sucking sound on the gooberment tit.
I was just about to mention that. "Hey! This story sounds familiar!"
Ugh. And I like sports, and think sports teams can be good things for cities, but that whole thing was just unpleasant.
That's actually more of a justification than I've really heard from any of the douche noodles here in L.A. who made a deal to build a stadium for the Chargers to play in if they want to move up here. The irony is that the Chargers have actual fans in SD, while most everyone I know doesn't give two shits about having an NFL team here.
They only have fans in SD when they're winning. They can't even fill the stadium unless they're in the play-offs.
This is an extremely importan (!) Wonkette post. I ask that you not treat this post as other ordinary Wonkette posts. It must be read and reread and thoroughly comprehended by everyone. Your patience with this request is appreciated. Please inform me when you receive it. And if it is continued as the prior information has been in your post and e-mail.
I am at the mercy of your profession!
God I love insane shit like this.
Somebody is trying hard to screw up their discharge so they can whine about their victimization on Fox "news".
Otho the Staff Sergeant is going to redecorate the shit out of your teabagger FEMA trailer.
Otho! hahahaha! I remember Otho!
And to be fair, it really should be expected that he's "late to the party." It's hard to know proper etiquette regarding such things when you've never been invited anywhere. Seriously, the guy's parents probably didn't even invite him to his own birthday parties.
I sincerely hope that Moran has a newsletter that I can subscribe to.
BORING! The best place for this video is as a hidden easter egg on the millions of the Undefeated, and unsold, DVDs.
If you press the menu button when Breitbart starts talking about eunuchs, you get a surprise…
The couple that snuck into the empty theater to fuck gets so turned off they give up?
This is what happens when you get sooo much of that vile Rightwing Lie spam that you can't keep up with it. You end up popping off about stuff that others tried and got slapped down for.
Someone snuck extra helping in mess hall.
Send this dipstick to Leavenworth and take away his retirement.
If you read his message carefully, its gays serving OPENLY that he has a problem with. He probably made out better when it was closeted.
It's dark in those glory holes.
Or so I've heard.
No, you're not going to trick me into listening to the brain-damaged ramblings of yet another loon, sorry Wonkette.
$15.00?
I've heard the modern USAF is basically "Jesus Airlines"? That could explain it….
"not because he’s Black, but because he has no credible proof that he is an American,"
Coincidentally, being white would be credible proof.
Here's evidence of your claim: Michele Bachmann promised to release her long-form birth certificate when she announced. It's been months since. She has yet to release doodly-squat. No one even asked for any of the *other* candidates' BCs. Only our President has to go through this. Repeatedly.
It’s simple. Arrest B. Obama or arrest me.
Well, buddy, I know what my choice is, but you can't arrest people for being Morans…
You can arrest them for inciting to riot. Although perhaps "arrest B. Obama or arrest me" doesn't come close enough.
Can you just kick their asses for being idiots instead?
He's got Michele Bachmann eyes. /carnes
http://bachmanneyezed.tumblr.com/
You're telling me 4 hours have gone by and neither Bachmann or Perry have said something moronic??
Perry, none global warming. Has Ricky been to Tejas lately?
Well duh. Texas is hotter because of all the wildfires they've been having, which are a result of the drought, which was caused by, uh, God appropriating all their water to re-hydrate after an intense game of tetherball with Saint Reagan. But NOT global warming, no sir, that's just librul crazy talk.
Maybe they're still zonked from all the pills they popped yesterday?
Needz moar "I'm not racist but…"
When I took a page from Voltaire and asked, "Lord, make my enemies ridiculous", it looks like my prayer was answered by the freakin' Wishmaster.
Don't know about the rest of you, but I feel SO much safer knowing he's keeping the country safe for Democracy.
Actually, he never was. He was keeping his fellow-servicemen safe from the scourges of eye-borne disease.
"I ask that you not treat this e – mail as other ordinary e – mails"
Isn't that what those e – mails from Nigeria that try to scam people for money say?
PROOFREAD, guys. Verbs are your friends. Pronouns are not adverbs, no matter how close together "m" and "n" are on the keyboard.
i think this Sergeant should be a Major. he's too specific to ever be a General.
Also, too, too minor to be a Major.
What are all those rainbow stripey things on his chest? (sorry, don't know my military shit) How many honors/promotions did he receive in the OPTHALMOLOGY dept?
Can't see them all clearly. The ribbons I can make out are mostly for "I showed up". You get two just for completing basic training.
Geeez. Don't you have to speak some form of English to get into the Air Force these days. I could understand a thing this guy said.
Sleepily wanders into Wonkette after being out of town for several days and wonders when we time-travelled back to 2009?
As former AF myself, we call this kind of guy "human FOD. "
Similar to Goose FOD?
close..more like condor poop FOD.
This just makes me so proud of my service in the Air Force….especially the part where the Air Force said I was way too fucking gay for them and threw me out.
Wrong uniform! he wanted to serve on the Confederate Air Force, but , by mistake, end up on the Union Air Force. Poor guy.
Anyone getting an internal server error when they try to watch the vid?
Disable your Stupid Whining Teabagger Moran Video blocker add-on in your browser.
OT FUDGE SIRENS: Everybody out of the pool, Fat Fucksie's about to belly-flop!!!!! http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/08/report...
EDIT: False alarm — maybe.
I don't know why I read that as:
Chris Christie: Exploding Plumbing is Fun
Christ, I like to about shit, since my first thought was, "Rush Limbaugh exploded on air, doctors uncertain if they can reattach all parts." Followed closely by "Thank jeebus that lardass Newt is getting out of the race."
I has a disappoint, Chet. But an intact bowel, so I'm happy for now.
Well, your pantalones are still pristine, at least.
Don't get up to nothin' else, you. I'm hoping to keep 'em that way.
Perhaps I need to change my name again, now that O'Donnell is trying to return to the public eye.
I doubt Christie wants to exert the effort to be the Republican stomped by Obama next year.
Who even cares about this ridiculous country any more. It is populated by nothing but bloated, tatooed half-wits, poisoned by bad food, loud "music" and television. It is indeed hopeless.
Dang, seven minutes of oratory going round and round in circles. Why do I have a feeling that the MSGT is being "retired" since his word salad is starting to scare even the Juh-HEEEEEEEZZZusssssssssssss people in the USAF now. Kinda reminds me of the general in the Firesign Theatre US Airforce Training film: Are there aliens in my eggs dear?" "There in *everybodies eggs* "(cue sobbing from wife freaking out about insane general husband at breakfast).
I don't care what y'all say. I won't serve under Obama until he shows his birf certificat and kills Bin Laden. He what? Already? Shut up, libtards, nobody believes what you say.
DISCHARGE FOR???
Mental health "issues."
“It’s simple. Arrest B. Obama or arrest me.”
Ok, done. Best of luck at Levenworth, dude.
Fuck Leavenworth, he's going straight to fuckin' Gitmo.
Next stop: Afghanistan.
Every racist teabag rant video posted on Wonkette makes me think that the human race passed its sell by date a while ago. Staff Sergeant Moran didn't change anything.
To think that brain-eating bacteria killed that poor kid in Virginia and that teenager in Florida, but didn't knock this guy out enough to prevent him from making videos.
The bacteria starved to death!
Damn you for beating me to it.
I am willing to bet that despite this clown's mental deficiencies, he could still be infantry at the front. Not that I am dropping hints or anything.
I'm thinking a low budget one-man bomb squad.
No, you need to have some smarts to be a modern infantryman. Or you kill the rest of your squad doing something stupid. People figure out that shit early in the process and try real hard to weed them out.
Huh. Long way from MacNamara's Moron Corps, huh?
It's worth noting at this juncture that right-wingers have been claiming all along that the gays serving in the military and not lying about who they are are the Main Obstacle to Professionalism in Our Military, and not people like this shitstain, who has evidently decided to refuse to do his job if he thinks there's somebody working near him who might have beliefs or a private lifestyle that he doesn't personally and specifically approve of. In LITERALLY any other workplace, that would be accurately described as victim-blaming, during the termination interview.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome…Glenn Beck's new sidekick!!
Update: The Air Force has just said, "Moran? Who's Moran? We don't have anyone by that name in *our* Air Force."
I sleep well at night, knowing that our country is being defended by such fine young Americans as this Moran.
AF staff sgts don't really defend anything but their beer at the squadron parties. This guy looks like he's defended a many chili dogs and cans of cheese wiz.
This is who we hire to fly our gazillion dollar airplanes? End of empire indeed.
also: he has "100% hererosexual" written all over him. And by that I mean closet queen.
He's not a flyboy. Bad as those dimwits can be, they rarely get to this stage of bugfuckery, since "crazy" is totally NOT compatible with "qualified to fly multi-gazillion dollar machine."
He's a medtech of the sort least likely to see combat — opthalmological tech. Calibrates instruments under non-life-threatening circs to treat non-emergency ailments.
Real americans don't go anywhere near orange, yellow, green, or heaven help me for even writing it, purple.
I heard he's been discharged. Or maybe it was that he *is* discharge. I'm too lazy to investigate further.
I'm going to read this at the family dinner table at Thanksgiving this year. "And now, the Testimony of SSGT Moran. Never forget." This will be my response to my teatard brother going on for twenty minutes reading a soporific, mind-numbing, 25 page heap of shit about thanksgiving written by George Washington last year.
The only thing that would make this video better is if, at the end, he stood at attention and put a 9 mm in his mouth.
Alas, Quentin Tarantino was not available to produce this video.
what a blubbering fool, throwing words together does not make a statement- Moran, for sure…
Hmmm, wonder if he is one of Bachmann's kids…he has her eyes…and bigotry.
What is Porky Pig doing in a military uniform?
I ask this about Allen West, but how can someone with so many obvious personality disorders be recruited to serve in the military? And, Bradley Manning is the one in prison. Gawd.
An ophthalmology technician AND a Moran? Perfect new-hire for the office of Sen. Rand Paul.
C'mon dude, the movie "Blade Runner" came out in 1982, and even pre-star wars Harrison Ford could still tell the differance between humans and replicants . Somebody ought to ask this Moran "What do you remember about your mother? try to focus on positive thoughts only", but be prepared to run! I hope this shit-fer-brains idiot is part of a ground crew, and kept as far away as possible from nuclear weapons.
Woah lol thats a whole can of crazy. Its funny now, but its not funny when one of these ticking nutso-rage-furbies turns into an Anders Breivik or a Timothy McVeigh.
And seriously birthers. Aside from the manure mountain of failed logic skillz you employ – OBAMA CAVES TO YOUR WIGNUTS ON EVERYTHING.
…How dangerous or powerful do you really think he is here? Just shut up whining already.
Moran can't even spell Darren.
Besides my first comment, making comments like this Moran, was grounds for military discipline, to include: loss of rank, article-15 UCMJ, dishonerable discharge, courts marshall, time in Fort Levenworth, and possibly treason to include execution, not necessarily in that order. Also, if anyone looks like an android, it's you Moran, not The Honerable Mr. Obama.
Boy have times have changed.
You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means.
It's incomprehensible because he's reading from the broken English cue cards that Orly Taitz wrote for him.
That's an okay-looking uniform, but for his next production he should get some gold braid and epaulets off eBay.
Relax, the Air Force gives you a Stripe just for getting out of your bunk every morning. This little turd is prolly equivalent to a Spec 4 in the Army. Staff Sergeant my bleeding ass! We've got a million men in uniform, I'm frankly surprised more wackos haven't surfaced. Fuck him, he's looking for a spot as a Fox News Contributor.
It's not because Obama's an "other" and it's only a _coincidence_ he's also ascared of muslims and gays. That trifecta of old fashioned Americaness is just by chance.
I do believe that he is getting a less than desirable discharge which is appropriate for someone named "Moran"…….Moron!!
Step away from the LASIK machine, now.
I had a buddy (try to) join the air force because, and I quote: "I hear you can get a TON of gay sex in the AF."
He failed the physical and now he does porn. Circle of liiiiiiife~
Just a spring clean for the May queens. (May is when the AF has its fabulous annual fashion show, right?)
Ever hear of Michele Bachmann?
You really know how to harsh a person's mellow, don'tcha?
Part of my job description.
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