Corporate rentboy Paul Ryan has a “neat market solution” for making sure that his constituents leave him the hell alone next time he wants to preach to a town hall crowd about his fever dreams for destroying Social Security and Medicare: charge everyone $15 to come in the door. “What does no one in America with something to lose if Social Security and Medicare are destroyed have to spare by this point? Fifteen bucks!” See how that works out? Go yell at socialist President Obama, who still lets everyone yell in his face for free, for socialism.

In what appears to be an effort to avoid the free-for-all town halls that have plagued recent contentious congressional recesses, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) and other Republican members of Congress have chosen to charge admission to their home-district appearances.

Ryan will speak September 6 to the Whitnall Park Rotary Club in Greenfield, Wisc. Admission to the event is $15 per person and includes lunch.

Ryan has no free public town hall appearances scheduled during the recess.

The last time he held a free town hall, in Milton, Wisc. in April, Ryan was booed while trying to explain his proposal for the federal budget, which included drastic cuts to entitlement and benefit programs. Other Republicans around the country were on the receiving end of similar heat from their constituents. Ryan even had police remove one heckler from a town hall event in Racine, Wisc.


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  • Barb

    I'd chip in an extra $10.00 to be able to kick him in the nuts.

    • sati_demise

      after he gets pied. Pie in face first then nut kick, that way he wont see it coming.

    • SorosBot

      I think all of us who could afford it would be willing to do so.

      • Barb

        I've been thinking about what Blair said about the Palin/Beck rally and that she doubts that Palin is running IF she is charging to speak. Do you think Pain would have the nuts to charge AND run for POTUS.

        • SorosBot

          Oh it seems pretty clear that she's not running by this point. Hell Fox demanded that Gingrich, Santorum and Huckabee decide if they were running or not and leave if they were running yet Sarah still works for them; they know she's just doing this for attention.

        • PristinePantalones

          Would she have the great brass bollocks to do it? Oh, hell to the yeah.

          She is just that crass and low. Fuck me, if she ever runs for President and wins, I wouldn't put it past her to charge attendees of the inauguration or any other event, for that matter. And brag about it.

    • Radiotherapy®

      Barb, here's $10 to kick that smug, self assured prick where he deserves it. Although I'm sure you'll have a small target.

      • Callyson

        Yeah–I'd better throw in a few bucks so Barb can get a magnifying glass. Or a microscope.

      • PristinePantalones

        He's probably hung like a bee.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          But does he float like a butterfly?

          • PristinePantalones

            He might sting like one.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Heck, it'd be worth $30 to me to punch him in the throat. Once that is done, he won't be talking for awhile (A month?), so we can go straight to the delicious catered lunch. Save everybody some time.

      • PristinePantalones

        I like this concept of "throat-punch followed by delicious catered lunch." Where do I purchase my ticket?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Barb, if he had any balls, would he be charging $15 to keep people out of his town hall meetings?

    • PristinePantalones

      Damn, girl, if they were handing out projectiles at the door, he'd have a sold-out house every time.

      What does anybody want to bet that the next time he holds one, hardly anyone attends, and the media don't cover it, either?

  • Texan_Bulldog

    When the Dems were getting the shit beat out of them at the town halls last summer about healthcare, I guess that was just constituents exercising their God-given 1st amendment rights. What a pussy.

    • GOPCrusher

      Pay 15 bucks to talk to your Representative? I don't think our Fore Fathers had that in mind when they received the Constitution from Jeebus.

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    I'd buy that for a dollar!

    • ArmoredLibunatic

      Dammit, your avatar made me read your comment in his voice

      • Dr_Zoidberg

        Sure, why not?

  • nounverb911

    Paul Ryan is the cry-baby younger brother that got beat up once a week whether he deserved it or not.

  • proudgrampa

    They couldn't give ME $15 to attend a town hall meeting.

    • finallyhappy

      I did attend one to support my congresswoman. It was entertaining because of the teabaggers esp the one who told a rambling story about playing football in Canada.

  • CapnFatback

    Ryan will speak September 6 to the Whitnall Park Rotary Club in Greenfield, Wisc. Admission to the event is $15 per person and includes lunch.

    Today's menu: undercooked eggs, overripe tomatoes, and cream pies.

    • DownWithRyan

      Don't forget BULLSHIT sauce to top everything off.

  • For $15 you can ask questions. For $1 million you get to supply the answers.

    • V572 T-Blow

      Nailed it.

    • BobsGunt

      top drawer, sir.. top drawer.

  • ttommyunger

    I'd pay $15 bucks just to stand up and call him an asshole to his face. Money well spent!

    • HistoriCat

      I'll chip in another $15 if you can smack that douchey face of his.

      • ttommyunger

        I promise you it would be the first time he ever got hit in his life.

        • PristinePantalones

          You can tell by that whey-faced, smartmouth expression, huh?

          • ttommyunger


    • fartknocker

      For $30 bucks can you stick a steel-toed boot in his ass? Let me know the cost for cleaning your boot.

      • ttommyunger

        Naw, he'd prolly like it.

  • neiltheblaze

    It would be great if Liberals bought up all the available tickets.

    • PristinePantalones

      And brought the, um, elderly produce and eggs. Or shoes. Shoes are always cool.

  • The Replugs can turn this into a jobs thing and hire blackshirts to protect them at the town halls. Heinrich Müller could give them some pointers since he hasn't been seen since ducking-out of the Führerbunker in Berlin in May of 1945.

    • Callyson

      hire blackshirts to protect them at the town halls
      Which gives me an idea for the perfect hangout for those New Black Panthers about whom the wingnuts were freaking last year…

  • BlueMonkeh

    Pay for play. Not even trying to hide it anymore.

    What a whiny-ass-titty-baby.

  • Indiepalin

    Fifteen bucks?! Hell, I wouldn't go 'lessen they pay me a hundred. Plus a case of Old Milwaukee.

    • horsedreamer_1

      New Glarus — or get the fuck out.

  • $15 dollars to hear him speak? I don't think so.
    $15 dollars to yell at him? Sure!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Hey, it's not like listening to his constituents is Ryan's job or anything — if these rabble don't understand how giving up their social security so that the rich can have their tax rate lowered to 25%, then he wouldn't be able to explain it to them even if they paid fifty bucks admission. So there.

    • Negropolis

      The freshman congressman in Michigan's 1st Congressional District (that covers the Yooperland and the Northern Michigan) basically shut down all of his constituent offices, got a bus, and basically told his constituents "catch me if you can, or email me." Repugnant troll.

  • V572 T-Blow

    Everybody else pays to get Ryan's attention. Seems like the voters should too.

  • Sue4466

    He always deserved it.

  • SexySmurf

    How much just to flip him the bird?


    The event is $15 per person and includes lunch and one Invisible Handshake.

    • Negropolis

      Silly, it's an Invisible Handjob, 'cause Republicans are job creators, after all.

  • Never trust a guy with two first names. Or one who wants to charge you for your mere input.

  • prommie

    Money is speech, Mr. Roberts says so. The more you pay, the louder you are yelling!

  • elviouslyqueer

    Ryan even had police remove one heckler from a town hall event in Racine, Wisc.

    Heckler::disaffected but non-rich constituent = tomato::tomahtoe

  • SorosBot

    Maybe he'll go the Joe Miller route and hire goons to rough up anyone who answers tough questions next.

  • It is not a town hall meeting if you need to pay to get in. Town hall meetings by definition are public which means anyone can go which means free. Leave it to a Repug to change the definition of the most BASIC meeting form in America. Evil shitheads.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Oh man, but that Rotary-club braised chicken in cream of mushroom sauce is totally worth the 15 bills.

      • V572 T-Blow

        Somebody has to spray on the grill marks and open up the can of Campbell's.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    For $15 a pop, I'd expect a to be allowed to display my grievances in more bold and spectacular fashion then.

  • Sue4466

    So glad these Tea Party types aren't elitist. Because there's nothing elitist about charging folks for democracy.

  • A Paul tax?

    • PristinePantalones

      Oh, how that hurt.

  • hagajim

    Best fucking Democracy money can buy eh?

    • horsedreamer_1

      Exactly. That Puerta del Sol sit-in in Madrid has nothing on this.

  • HelmutNewton

    It's bad enough that we taxpayers have to pay this asshole's salary, health insurance, pension, etc. For $15, we should at least get a chance to sink him in a dunk tank.

    • jus_wonderin

      …with sharks.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        with lasers on their heads.

        • PristinePantalones

          FRICKIN' lasers on their heads.

      • BerkeleyBear

        I was thinking untreated wastwater from a Randian utopia. And he has to drink it.

        • PristinePantalones

          Why am I enjoying this thread so much?

  • widestanceshakedown

    If I thought he'd blow the money on tainted heroin, I'd buy a row of tickets.

    • glamourdammerung

      You mean heroin free from the over-regulation of the nanny state.

      • widestanceshakedown

        Pure, objectivist-grade bad shit, And some drain cleaner.

  • Goonemeritus

    I have to say that for a 30 second block of time I would gladly spend
    $15. It would be way more entertaining than a good movie or a crappy lap dance.

    • GOPCrusher

      What is this crappy lap dance of which you speak?

  • AJWjr.

    Another childhood memory ruined by these evil fucks. Back in my youth, the carnies would give us 3 shots for a dime.

  • Come here a minute

    It's not being inaccessible to consituents, it's fiscal responsibility.

  • Redhead

    And on the back of your ticket is the neatly printed question that you're supposed to ask Ryan when he calls on you.

  • so somebody just needs to solicit donations, then hang out in front of the meeting place and give $15 to anyone and everyone who wants to go inside.

    i would work out how to do this myself, but i'm due to go get drunk soon so my schedule's pretty booked up.

  • glamourdammerung

    If a Democrat did this, the "liberal media" would be screaming about how the politician was hiding from their constituents.

    • PristinePantalones

      Damn that liberal media! Meanwhile, have you noticed how, despite their anointing Perry "teh next starburst-producer," he's generating little to no enthusiasm from the electorate after all? Now they haz a sad. And they're beginning to say mean things about (P)Rick Erry. And talk about Chris Christie and that other dipshit instead.


    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      But he's speaking specifically to the people he represents: people who have money to spare.

  • The hell. Can you even buy lunch anywhere for $15 anymore?

    Like, a lunch that comes in enough of a serving you're not still hungry afterward?

    And, haven't I been reading everywhere from to clusterf*ckNation that Ryan's roadmap's premises are for all practical purposes discredited?

    Go ahead and fork over fifteen and see how it digests. Spoon-feeding just ends up teaching the shape of the spoon and nothing else.

    • finallyhappy

      I know where you can get a good falafel or schwarma for $8 but that isn't real Amurican food.

    • Negropolis

      You can get a McDouble, small fries, and a large coke at McDonald's for $3.18. And add another dollar if you want a fruit pie or sundae for good measure. Not sure how much of that actually qualifies as "food" but it's cheap. lol

      • I haven't enjoyed the McGrub since around high school. I have ordered Chinese takeout for cheap. But an hour after finishing I'm hungry again, just like the bloody meme dictates. I think I'm one of those with a weird glycemic index.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Two Mc Doubles with a Mc Chicken between them: the Mc Gangbang. Fills you right up.

  • Troglodeity

    If the lunch were free it would be too ironic.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Next up for Paul Ryan. His congressional office phone number will be replaced with a 1-900 number. And not the fun kind of 1-900 number.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    "avoid the free-for-all town halls"

    Sweet double-entendre there!

  • jus_wonderin

    15 bucks!! How many cans of Hobo Beans will that buy???

    • PristinePantalones

      Somewhere between 15 and 20, I reckon.

  • BerkeleyBear

    When I lived in Indiana, somehow I got "invited" to lunch with Dick Cheney. It was somehting like 250 for the lunch and 1200 for a VIP meet and greet. I was somewhat flush back then, and briefly contemplated if the joy of kicking him in the nads would be worth giving the local GOP that kind of green. But I decided I liked not having a felony record and passed.

    Sigh – missed opportunity. I'd take Ryan up on his offer for the same reason, but I suspect he's got a) no nads to speak of and b) no intention of getting within six feet of anyone who hasn't been vetted/sedated.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    I would do the same thing, but with a two-drink minimum.

  • I imagine the lunch comes with free Kool-Aid??

    • PristinePantalones

      Pre-infused with date-rape drugs. Or sedatives, your choice.

  • Callyson

    Admission to the event is $15 per person…
    That's almost worth it, for the chance to yell at Paul Ryan…
    …and includes lunch
    I am trying not to wonder what food they are going to serve, so that I can keep *my* lunch down…

    • PristinePantalones

      It will probably be what a friend of mine calls "white food.*"

      *Potatoes and cauliflower in a cream sauce.

  • KotBR

    For $25, you get to help Paul dump toxic waste in the lake.

  • But you all are missing the good part: Ryan will take the money he collects and write a check to the U.S. Treasury as an insignificant but symbolic payment on the national debt.

    Ha ha, I'm just kidding. He'll blow it on coke and hookers. Or dinner with a lobbyist, which is the same thing.

    • Rotundo_

      Wine. Not the cheap shit either, Paul likes the good stuff. None of this vinegary shit for "The Creator of The Brand New Deal*"

      *Where everything old is new again, like dying in your basement so your kids have a roof over their heads, slavery, poverty, all the good stuff from the pre-civil war days!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      "He'll blow it on coke and hookers. Or dinner with a lobbyist, which is the same thing."

      If the lobbyist doesn't supply the coke and hookers, Ryan is doing it wrong.

  • gullywompr

    Logic flaw – If you pay to get in, then he can't kick you out, amirite?

    • PristinePantalones

      It's that old "we reserve the right, bla bla." They can kick you out anytime you cause a problem.

      • gullywompr

        Hey, if I pay for an hour, bitch betta have my honey.

  • Special discount if you purchase the right to vote for him at the same time.

  • fletc3her

    Can we set up a scholarship fund to send the most vocal tea baggers to the event?

  • horsedreamer_1

    I will attend in my lucha libre mask as Paul Bearer, and cartoonishly beat the crap out of him.

    "You, Ryan Raygun… Four years ago, you proposed rationing my grandmother's health care with a voucher plan. Now, I, Paul Bearer, have returned, to beat you with a metal folding chair".

    • Negropolis


  • Negropolis

    Corporate rentboy Paul Ryan

    I am still laughing out loud at this. Honestly, what working man and woman in this economy would spend $15 dollars to see their local, regular ole congressbastard speak? Not me; not even if I like my local congressfucker, and I don't (see: Mike Rogers of Michigan – not the Alabama one).

    $15?! Are we sure this isn't just for the lap dance?

  • not that Dewey

    CONSTITUENT: That wasn't really five minutes, just now.
    RYAN: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.
    CONSTITUENT: I just paid!
    RYAN: No you didn't.
    RYAN: No you didn't.
    CONSTITUENT: Look, I don't want to argue about that.
    RYAN: Well, you didn't pay.
    CONSTITUENT: Aha. If I didn't pay, why are you arguing? I Got you!
    RYAN: No you haven't.
    CONSTITUENT: Yes I have. If you're arguing, I must have paid.
    RYAN: Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.
    CONSTITUENT: Oh I've had enough of this.
    RYAN: No you haven't.
    CONSTITUENT: Oh Shut up.

  • horsedreamer_1

    I should just point out the about-face that is Paul Ryan touting himself as a potential Presidential candidate for the 2012 GOP primaries, &/or VP selection for whomever ends up with the nomination from the previous. This is the same Paul Ryan who previously has denied any interest in the opening Senate seat in Wisconsin — from Herb Kohl opting not to run for re-elect in 2012 — saying he would prefer to remain in the House, continue accruing seniority, & use his position as Budget Committee chair to steer the economy in a "jobs-creating, taxes-reducing" (oxymoronic) direction. He basically was saying he wanted to maintain a less prestigious position in the lower House than move up the political career ladder.

    Now, he wants to skip Senate & go right to the Executive.

    Something tells me there is some internal Ryan polling showing his 1st District seat tightening, the Union/Reagan Dems in Janesville & Beloit, & the Unionists in Racine & Kenosha, waking up to the bill of goods that their seven-term GOOPER has sold them, & he wants to get out while he's still ahead.

    & I'm prolly right. Ryan's district, after all, is the one where weak(er) Dem re-call target Bob Wirsch just took down a Ryan Lite Chicago corporate lawyer type in a narrow but convincing (55-45, with 95% in) manner. Sure, there are the ironically anti-Union bastions like Burlingtion ("Chocolate City" (LULZ)) where in the same breath the hospital workers will condemn the fat-cats trying to take away their bargained rights then politick for the election of leading anti-collective-bargaining State Rep Robin Vos, but overall the First is becoming self-aware.

    & the Republicans hate that. I mean, why can't we go back to the days of Tom Ridge gaming the Terror Alert system? Wasn't it better when Bush wanted Osama "dead or alive", rather than now, when Osama is, in fact, dead?

    Ryan's days in elected office might well be as numbered as the al-Qaeda bogeymen that his party used so well to consolidate power.

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