NO MORE FREEBIES  1:40 pm August 17, 2011

Paul Ryan Charging Town Hall Attendees $15 To Yell At Him

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Corporate rentboy Paul Ryan has a “neat market solution” for making sure that his constituents leave him the hell alone next time he wants to preach to a town hall crowd about his fever dreams for destroying Social Security and Medicare: charge everyone $15 to come in the door. “What does no one in America with something to lose if Social Security and Medicare are destroyed have to spare by this point? Fifteen bucks!” See how that works out? Go yell at socialist President Obama, who still lets everyone yell in his face for free, for socialism.

In what appears to be an effort to avoid the free-for-all town halls that have plagued recent contentious congressional recesses, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) and other Republican members of Congress have chosen to charge admission to their home-district appearances.

Ryan will speak September 6 to the Whitnall Park Rotary Club in Greenfield, Wisc. Admission to the event is $15 per person and includes lunch.

Ryan has no free public town hall appearances scheduled during the recess.

The last time he held a free town hall, in Milton, Wisc. in April, Ryan was booed while trying to explain his proposal for the federal budget, which included drastic cuts to entitlement and benefit programs. Other Republicans around the country were on the receiving end of similar heat from their constituents. Ryan even had police remove one heckler from a town hall event in Racine, Wisc.

[RawStory]

 

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{ 115 comments }

Barb August 17, 2011 at 1:42 pm

I'd chip in an extra $10.00 to be able to kick him in the nuts.

sati_demise August 17, 2011 at 1:54 pm

after he gets pied. Pie in face first then nut kick, that way he wont see it coming.

smokefilleddoommate August 17, 2011 at 2:22 pm

followed by some nyuk nyuk nyuk and woob oob oob for good measure..

Tommmcatt August 18, 2011 at 2:12 pm

You missed a couple "oob"s, didn't you?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5j8Jioan1w

Sorry, no fancy link today. Tired.

Callyson August 17, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Oh, I don't know…I think I might enjoy the facial expression when he sees it coming almost as much as I'd enjoy delivering the kick…

SorosBot August 17, 2011 at 2:22 pm

I think all of us who could afford it would be willing to do so.

Barb August 17, 2011 at 2:36 pm

I've been thinking about what Blair said about the Palin/Beck rally and that she doubts that Palin is running IF she is charging to speak. Do you think Pain would have the nuts to charge AND run for POTUS.

SorosBot August 17, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Oh it seems pretty clear that she's not running by this point. Hell Fox demanded that Gingrich, Santorum and Huckabee decide if they were running or not and leave if they were running yet Sarah still works for them; they know she's just doing this for attention.

PristinePantalones August 17, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Would she have the great brass bollocks to do it? Oh, hell to the yeah.

She is just that crass and low. Fuck me, if she ever runs for President and wins, I wouldn't put it past her to charge attendees of the inauguration or any other event, for that matter. And brag about it.

Radiotherapy® August 17, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Barb, here's $10 to kick that smug, self assured prick where he deserves it. Although I'm sure you'll have a small target.

Callyson August 17, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Yeah–I'd better throw in a few bucks so Barb can get a magnifying glass. Or a microscope.

PristinePantalones August 17, 2011 at 9:43 pm

He's probably hung like a bee.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 18, 2011 at 5:34 pm

But does he float like a butterfly?

PristinePantalones August 18, 2011 at 9:02 pm

He might sting like one.

Lascauxcaveman August 17, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Heck, it'd be worth $30 to me to punch him in the throat. Once that is done, he won't be talking for awhile (A month?), so we can go straight to the delicious catered lunch. Save everybody some time.

PristinePantalones August 17, 2011 at 9:44 pm

I like this concept of "throat-punch followed by delicious catered lunch." Where do I purchase my ticket?

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 17, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Barb, if he had any balls, would he be charging $15 to keep people out of his town hall meetings?

PristinePantalones August 17, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Damn, girl, if they were handing out projectiles at the door, he'd have a sold-out house every time.

What does anybody want to bet that the next time he holds one, hardly anyone attends, and the media don't cover it, either?

Texan_Bulldog August 17, 2011 at 1:54 pm

When the Dems were getting the shit beat out of them at the town halls last summer about healthcare, I guess that was just constituents exercising their God-given 1st amendment rights. What a pussy.

GOPCrusher August 17, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Pay 15 bucks to talk to your Representative? I don't think our Fore Fathers had that in mind when they received the Constitution from Jeebus.

Dr_Zoidberg August 17, 2011 at 1:55 pm

I'd buy that for a dollar!

ArmoredLibunatic August 17, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Dammit, your avatar made me read your comment in his voice

Dr_Zoidberg August 17, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Sure, why not?

nounverb911 August 17, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Paul Ryan is the cry-baby younger brother that got beat up once a week whether he deserved it or not.

TanzbodenKoenig August 17, 2011 at 3:05 pm

So he's my younger brother?

proudgrampa August 17, 2011 at 1:59 pm

They couldn't give ME $15 to attend a town hall meeting.

finallyhappy August 17, 2011 at 5:31 pm

I did attend one to support my congresswoman. It was entertaining because of the teabaggers esp the one who told a rambling story about playing football in Canada.

CapnFatback August 17, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Ryan will speak September 6 to the Whitnall Park Rotary Club in Greenfield, Wisc. Admission to the event is $15 per person and includes lunch.

Today's menu: undercooked eggs, overripe tomatoes, and cream pies.

DownWithRyan September 13, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Don't forget BULLSHIT sauce to top everything off.

Pop_Socket August 17, 2011 at 2:00 pm

For $15 you can ask questions. For $1 million you get to supply the answers.

V572 T-Blow August 17, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Nailed it.

BobsGunt August 17, 2011 at 11:53 pm

top drawer, sir.. top drawer.

ttommyunger August 17, 2011 at 2:00 pm

I'd pay $15 bucks just to stand up and call him an asshole to his face. Money well spent!

HistoriCat August 17, 2011 at 2:06 pm

I'll chip in another $15 if you can smack that douchey face of his.

ttommyunger August 17, 2011 at 8:19 pm

I promise you it would be the first time he ever got hit in his life.

PristinePantalones August 17, 2011 at 9:46 pm

You can tell by that whey-faced, smartmouth expression, huh?

ttommyunger August 18, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Ab-so-fucking-lutely!

fartknocker August 17, 2011 at 2:52 pm

For $30 bucks can you stick a steel-toed boot in his ass? Let me know the cost for cleaning your boot.

ttommyunger August 17, 2011 at 8:20 pm

Naw, he'd prolly like it.

neiltheblaze August 17, 2011 at 2:01 pm

It would be great if Liberals bought up all the available tickets.

PristinePantalones August 17, 2011 at 9:47 pm

And brought the, um, elderly produce and eggs. Or shoes. Shoes are always cool.

weejee August 17, 2011 at 2:01 pm

The Replugs can turn this into a jobs thing and hire blackshirts to protect them at the town halls. Heinrich Müller could give them some pointers since he hasn't been seen since ducking-out of the Führerbunker in Berlin in May of 1945.

Callyson August 17, 2011 at 4:52 pm

hire blackshirts to protect them at the town halls
Which gives me an idea for the perfect hangout for those New Black Panthers about whom the wingnuts were freaking last year…

BlueMonkeh August 17, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Pay for play. Not even trying to hide it anymore.

What a whiny-ass-titty-baby.

Indiepalin August 17, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Fifteen bucks?! Hell, I wouldn't go 'lessen they pay me a hundred. Plus a case of Old Milwaukee.

horsedreamer_1 August 17, 2011 at 8:13 pm

New Glarus — or get the fuck out.

Monsieur_Grumpe August 17, 2011 at 2:03 pm

$15 dollars to hear him speak? I don't think so.
$15 dollars to yell at him? Sure!

SayItWithWookies August 17, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Hey, it's not like listening to his constituents is Ryan's job or anything — if these rabble don't understand how giving up their social security so that the rich can have their tax rate lowered to 25%, then he wouldn't be able to explain it to them even if they paid fifty bucks admission. So there.

Negropolis August 18, 2011 at 1:27 am

The freshman congressman in Michigan's 1st Congressional District (that covers the Yooperland and the Northern Michigan) basically shut down all of his constituent offices, got a bus, and basically told his constituents "catch me if you can, or email me." Repugnant troll.

V572 T-Blow August 17, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Everybody else pays to get Ryan's attention. Seems like the voters should too.

Sue4466 August 17, 2011 at 2:06 pm

He always deserved it.

SexySmurf August 17, 2011 at 2:11 pm

How much just to flip him the bird?

BTWBFDIMHO August 17, 2011 at 2:12 pm

The event is $15 per person and includes lunch and one Invisible Handshake.

Negropolis August 18, 2011 at 1:28 am

Silly, it's an Invisible Handjob, 'cause Republicans are job creators, after all.

smokefilleddoommate August 17, 2011 at 2:14 pm

Never trust a guy with two first names. Or one who wants to charge you for your mere input.

prommie August 17, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Money is speech, Mr. Roberts says so. The more you pay, the louder you are yelling!

elviouslyqueer August 17, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Ryan even had police remove one heckler from a town hall event in Racine, Wisc.

Heckler::disaffected but non-rich constituent = tomato::tomahtoe

SorosBot August 17, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Maybe he'll go the Joe Miller route and hire goons to rough up anyone who answers tough questions next.

Maman August 17, 2011 at 2:23 pm

It is not a town hall meeting if you need to pay to get in. Town hall meetings by definition are public which means anyone can go which means free. Leave it to a Repug to change the definition of the most BASIC meeting form in America. Evil shitheads.

Lascauxcaveman August 17, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Oh man, but that Rotary-club braised chicken in cream of mushroom sauce is totally worth the 15 bills.

V572 T-Blow August 17, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Somebody has to spray on the grill marks and open up the can of Campbell's.

NorthStarSpanx August 17, 2011 at 2:30 pm

For $15 a pop, I'd expect a to be allowed to display my grievances in more bold and spectacular fashion then.

Sue4466 August 17, 2011 at 2:31 pm

So glad these Tea Party types aren't elitist. Because there's nothing elitist about charging folks for democracy.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard August 17, 2011 at 2:32 pm

A Paul tax?

PristinePantalones August 17, 2011 at 9:49 pm

Oh, how that hurt.

hagajim August 17, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Best fucking Democracy money can buy eh?

horsedreamer_1 August 18, 2011 at 11:44 am

Exactly. That Puerta del Sol sit-in in Madrid has nothing on this.

HelmutNewton August 17, 2011 at 2:34 pm

It's bad enough that we taxpayers have to pay this asshole's salary, health insurance, pension, etc. For $15, we should at least get a chance to sink him in a dunk tank.

jus_wonderin August 17, 2011 at 3:39 pm

…with sharks.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 17, 2011 at 3:42 pm

with lasers on their heads.

PristinePantalones August 17, 2011 at 9:50 pm

FRICKIN' lasers on their heads.

BerkeleyBear August 17, 2011 at 3:48 pm

I was thinking untreated wastwater from a Randian utopia. And he has to drink it.

PristinePantalones August 17, 2011 at 9:50 pm

Why am I enjoying this thread so much?

widestanceshakedown August 17, 2011 at 2:34 pm

If I thought he'd blow the money on tainted heroin, I'd buy a row of tickets.

glamourdammerung August 17, 2011 at 3:01 pm

You mean heroin free from the over-regulation of the nanny state.

widestanceshakedown August 17, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Pure, objectivist-grade bad shit, And some drain cleaner.

Goonemeritus August 17, 2011 at 2:37 pm

I have to say that for a 30 second block of time I would gladly spend
$15. It would be way more entertaining than a good movie or a crappy lap dance.

GOPCrusher August 17, 2011 at 5:28 pm

What is this crappy lap dance of which you speak?

AJWjr. August 17, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Another childhood memory ruined by these evil fucks. Back in my youth, the carnies would give us 3 shots for a dime.

Come here a minute August 17, 2011 at 2:54 pm

It's not being inaccessible to consituents, it's fiscal responsibility.

Redhead August 17, 2011 at 2:56 pm

And on the back of your ticket is the neatly printed question that you're supposed to ask Ryan when he calls on you.

inapewetrust August 17, 2011 at 2:59 pm

so somebody just needs to solicit donations, then hang out in front of the meeting place and give $15 to anyone and everyone who wants to go inside.

i would work out how to do this myself, but i'm due to go get drunk soon so my schedule's pretty booked up.

glamourdammerung August 17, 2011 at 3:01 pm

If a Democrat did this, the "liberal media" would be screaming about how the politician was hiding from their constituents.

PristinePantalones August 17, 2011 at 9:53 pm

Damn that liberal media! Meanwhile, have you noticed how, despite their anointing Perry "teh next starburst-producer," he's generating little to no enthusiasm from the electorate after all? Now they haz a sad. And they're beginning to say mean things about (P)Rick Erry. And talk about Chris Christie and that other dipshit instead.

Sniff!

Biel_ze_Bubba August 18, 2011 at 5:40 pm

But he's speaking specifically to the people he represents: people who have money to spare.

Mumbletypeg August 17, 2011 at 3:01 pm

The hell. Can you even buy lunch anywhere for $15 anymore?

Like, a lunch that comes in enough of a serving you're not still hungry afterward?

And, haven't I been reading everywhere from cbpp.org to clusterf*ckNation that Ryan's roadmap's premises are for all practical purposes discredited?

Go ahead and fork over fifteen and see how it digests. Spoon-feeding just ends up teaching the shape of the spoon and nothing else.

finallyhappy August 17, 2011 at 5:33 pm

I know where you can get a good falafel or schwarma for $8 but that isn't real Amurican food.

Negropolis August 18, 2011 at 1:30 am

You can get a McDouble, small fries, and a large coke at McDonald's for $3.18. And add another dollar if you want a fruit pie or sundae for good measure. Not sure how much of that actually qualifies as "food" but it's cheap. lol

Mumbletypeg August 18, 2011 at 1:54 am

I haven't enjoyed the McGrub since around high school. I have ordered Chinese takeout for cheap. But an hour after finishing I'm hungry again, just like the bloody meme dictates. I think I'm one of those with a weird glycemic index.

horsedreamer_1 August 18, 2011 at 11:46 am

Two Mc Doubles with a Mc Chicken between them: the Mc Gangbang. Fills you right up.

Troglodeity August 17, 2011 at 3:04 pm

If the lunch were free it would be too ironic.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 17, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Next up for Paul Ryan. His congressional office phone number will be replaced with a 1-900 number. And not the fun kind of 1-900 number.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 17, 2011 at 3:41 pm

"avoid the free-for-all town halls"

Sweet double-entendre there!

jus_wonderin August 17, 2011 at 3:42 pm

15 bucks!! How many cans of Hobo Beans will that buy???

PristinePantalones August 17, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Somewhere between 15 and 20, I reckon.

BerkeleyBear August 17, 2011 at 3:52 pm

When I lived in Indiana, somehow I got "invited" to lunch with Dick Cheney. It was somehting like 250 for the lunch and 1200 for a VIP meet and greet. I was somewhat flush back then, and briefly contemplated if the joy of kicking him in the nads would be worth giving the local GOP that kind of green. But I decided I liked not having a felony record and passed.

Sigh – missed opportunity. I'd take Ryan up on his offer for the same reason, but I suspect he's got a) no nads to speak of and b) no intention of getting within six feet of anyone who hasn't been vetted/sedated.

KeepFnThatChicken August 17, 2011 at 4:33 pm

I would do the same thing, but with a two-drink minimum.

johnnyzhivago August 17, 2011 at 4:44 pm

I imagine the lunch comes with free Kool-Aid??

PristinePantalones August 17, 2011 at 9:55 pm

Pre-infused with date-rape drugs. Or sedatives, your choice.

Callyson August 17, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Admission to the event is $15 per person…
That's almost worth it, for the chance to yell at Paul Ryan…
…and includes lunch
I am trying not to wonder what food they are going to serve, so that I can keep *my* lunch down…

PristinePantalones August 17, 2011 at 9:56 pm

It will probably be what a friend of mine calls "white food.*"

*Potatoes and cauliflower in a cream sauce.

KotBR August 17, 2011 at 5:28 pm

For $25, you get to help Paul dump toxic waste in the lake.

imissopus August 17, 2011 at 5:29 pm

But you all are missing the good part: Ryan will take the money he collects and write a check to the U.S. Treasury as an insignificant but symbolic payment on the national debt.

Ha ha, I'm just kidding. He'll blow it on coke and hookers. Or dinner with a lobbyist, which is the same thing.

Rotundo_ August 17, 2011 at 6:29 pm

Wine. Not the cheap shit either, Paul likes the good stuff. None of this vinegary shit for "The Creator of The Brand New Deal*"

*Where everything old is new again, like dying in your basement so your kids have a roof over their heads, slavery, poverty, all the good stuff from the pre-civil war days!

Biel_ze_Bubba August 18, 2011 at 5:44 pm

"He'll blow it on coke and hookers. Or dinner with a lobbyist, which is the same thing."

If the lobbyist doesn't supply the coke and hookers, Ryan is doing it wrong.

gullywompr August 17, 2011 at 5:49 pm

Logic flaw – If you pay to get in, then he can't kick you out, amirite?

PristinePantalones August 17, 2011 at 9:57 pm

It's that old "we reserve the right, bla bla." They can kick you out anytime you cause a problem.

gullywompr August 17, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Hey, if I pay for an hour, bitch betta have my honey.

starfanglednut August 17, 2011 at 6:10 pm

Special discount if you purchase the right to vote for him at the same time.

fletc3her August 17, 2011 at 7:50 pm

Can we set up a scholarship fund to send the most vocal tea baggers to the event?

horsedreamer_1 August 17, 2011 at 8:17 pm

I will attend in my lucha libre mask as Paul Bearer, and cartoonishly beat the crap out of him.

"You, Ryan Raygun… Four years ago, you proposed rationing my grandmother's health care with a voucher plan. Now, I, Paul Bearer, have returned, to beat you with a metal folding chair".

Negropolis August 18, 2011 at 1:32 am

ROTFLMAO!

Negropolis August 18, 2011 at 1:17 am

Corporate rentboy Paul Ryan

I am still laughing out loud at this. Honestly, what working man and woman in this economy would spend $15 dollars to see their local, regular ole congressbastard speak? Not me; not even if I like my local congressfucker, and I don't (see: Mike Rogers of Michigan – not the Alabama one).

$15?! Are we sure this isn't just for the lap dance?

not that Dewey August 18, 2011 at 1:21 am

CONSTITUENT: That wasn't really five minutes, just now.
RYAN: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.
CONSTITUENT: I just paid!
RYAN: No you didn't.
CONSTITUENT: I DID!
RYAN: No you didn't.
CONSTITUENT: Look, I don't want to argue about that.
RYAN: Well, you didn't pay.
CONSTITUENT: Aha. If I didn't pay, why are you arguing? I Got you!
RYAN: No you haven't.
CONSTITUENT: Yes I have. If you're arguing, I must have paid.
RYAN: Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.
CONSTITUENT: Oh I've had enough of this.
RYAN: No you haven't.
CONSTITUENT: Oh Shut up.

horsedreamer_1 August 18, 2011 at 11:59 am

I should just point out the about-face that is Paul Ryan touting himself as a potential Presidential candidate for the 2012 GOP primaries, &/or VP selection for whomever ends up with the nomination from the previous. This is the same Paul Ryan who previously has denied any interest in the opening Senate seat in Wisconsin — from Herb Kohl opting not to run for re-elect in 2012 — saying he would prefer to remain in the House, continue accruing seniority, & use his position as Budget Committee chair to steer the economy in a "jobs-creating, taxes-reducing" (oxymoronic) direction. He basically was saying he wanted to maintain a less prestigious position in the lower House than move up the political career ladder.

Now, he wants to skip Senate & go right to the Executive.

Something tells me there is some internal Ryan polling showing his 1st District seat tightening, the Union/Reagan Dems in Janesville & Beloit, & the Unionists in Racine & Kenosha, waking up to the bill of goods that their seven-term GOOPER has sold them, & he wants to get out while he's still ahead.

& I'm prolly right. Ryan's district, after all, is the one where weak(er) Dem re-call target Bob Wirsch just took down a Ryan Lite Chicago corporate lawyer type in a narrow but convincing (55-45, with 95% in) manner. Sure, there are the ironically anti-Union bastions like Burlingtion ("Chocolate City" (LULZ)) where in the same breath the hospital workers will condemn the fat-cats trying to take away their bargained rights then politick for the election of leading anti-collective-bargaining State Rep Robin Vos, but overall the First is becoming self-aware.

& the Republicans hate that. I mean, why can't we go back to the days of Tom Ridge gaming the Terror Alert system? Wasn't it better when Bush wanted Osama "dead or alive", rather than now, when Osama is, in fact, dead?

Ryan's days in elected office might well be as numbered as the al-Qaeda bogeymen that his party used so well to consolidate power.

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