FREEDOM COMES TO TOWN  6:38 pm August 16, 2011

Actual Palin/Beck Reign of Terror To Kick Off With Night of Family Fun

by Blair Burke

Fox Newz Rejectz 4 evaGood thing you did not waste your pathetic paycheck on those Donny and Marie tickets, because America’s other tragic duo is heading to good ol’ St. Louis this October, to sing some songs about Freedom! “Defending the Republic” promises fun for the whole family, and will feature lessons, comedy, and Sarah Palin scratching her fingernails across Glenn Beck’s chalkboard. The name of this rally seems to suggest that perhaps there will also be some French people guillotining each others’ heads off, but probably not because Glenn Beck does not like the French, except for the ones that are fried. How will America handle so much raw, unapologetic patriotism in one Family Arena?

The radio station that is hosting this event is practically wetting itself with excitement right now, as evidenced by the event description on the 97.1 web site which follows all the important Palin-style journalism grammar guidelines. STLtoday.com reports:

Two of the biggest names in conservative commentary will appear together this fall in St. Charles.

Former vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin and radio pundit Glenn Beck will share the spotlight at the “Defending the Republic” event on Oct. 7 at the Family Arena.

Tickets for the rally — sponsored by 97.1-FM and Hansen’s Tree Services in O’Fallon, Mo. — range from $20 to $97.

It’s hard to gauge what the pending appearance means for Palin’s possible White House aspirations, though it’s hard to imagine a presidential candidate charging people to see her speak.

She would, however, have some time after the event to decide whether she wanted to put her name on the ballot.

Sarah Palin has to charge people to see her speak, because she is not just an ordinary presidential candidate. She is a presidential candidate who is so far not running for president, so obviously she needs lots of extra ca$$h, because Willow and Piper will probably need to start buying diapers soon. [STLtoday]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 234 comments }

jdoleman August 16, 2011 at 6:39 pm

"Tickets for the rally — sponsored by 97.1-FM and Hansen’s Tree Services in O’Fallon, Mo. — range from $20 to $97."

For $97 you get blowed by the speaker of your choice.

insidebeltway August 16, 2011 at 7:17 pm

AND a tee shirt!

Crank_Tango August 16, 2011 at 7:17 pm

ugh, I'd rather go for the tree service, i.e. I'd prefer sticking my dick in an oak and taking my chances on the squirrels.

poncho_pilot August 16, 2011 at 7:27 pm

they're more interested in nuts.

DahBoner August 16, 2011 at 7:33 pm

LOL!

Texan_Bulldog August 16, 2011 at 7:38 pm

I think even a wood chipper would be preferable.

bumfug August 16, 2011 at 7:50 pm

The one big plus would be that you wouldn't have to hear Sarah's voice if she had a mouth full of dick.

Bonzos_Bed_Time August 17, 2011 at 1:52 am

That's what Michelle keeps telling Marcus.

mayor_quimby August 17, 2011 at 12:05 am

Any bets on the under/over on illegalsvworking for the tree service?
Is there even a question?
I wish the lottery was this predictable.

lochnessmonster August 16, 2011 at 6:41 pm

Can't believe the town of Town And Country, MO is not hosting this event where no property is worth under 1 million…

DashboardBuddha August 16, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Seriously? Who the fuck would build a million dollar home in MO?

Rotundo_ August 16, 2011 at 7:33 pm

A property worth more than a million in MO is like putting your brand new ocean racing boat in a hog shit lagoon on a confined animal feed operation. You'll be the biggest boat in the lagoon, but who cares?

phlox✔ August 16, 2011 at 9:08 pm

T & C is a pretty small municipality and most of the residents IMHO are not the teatard type. Lots of old St Louis money there.

Nothingisamiss August 16, 2011 at 6:42 pm

When do we think $arah will cancel (scheduling difficulties) after not enough tickets are sold?

Terry August 16, 2011 at 9:09 pm

And will there be a goose related omen from God this time?

GunToting[Redacted] August 17, 2011 at 9:46 am

"refund? REfund?!? REFUND??!!?!?111?!/1?"

Callyson August 16, 2011 at 6:43 pm

From 97.1's website:
Do not miss this once in a lifetime opportunity to witness the fusion of two intellectual conservatives as they Defend the Republic on the Family Arena stage.
Fusion? Is that legal in a St Louis stage show?

SayItWithWookies August 16, 2011 at 6:47 pm

As long as it's between a man and a woman.

HelmutNewton August 16, 2011 at 6:53 pm

And they're caucasian.

Radiotherapy® August 16, 2011 at 6:57 pm

I was thinking Miles Davis and Jean-Luc Ponty.

Chet Kincaid August 17, 2011 at 1:41 am

These two are just the kind of white people Miles wanted to strangle.

Bonzos_Bed_Time August 17, 2011 at 1:53 am

Just the thought of it would make him kind of blue.

James Michael Curley August 17, 2011 at 6:05 am

So What

HistoriCat August 17, 2011 at 10:35 am

I never knew I had so much in common with Miles Davis.

Angry_Marmot August 17, 2011 at 2:44 am

Definitely a Bitches' Brew.

MissusBarry August 16, 2011 at 7:07 pm

Intellectual conservatives, indeed. The combined intellect is so conservative that, if intellect could be seen, it couldn't be identified with a nano-level microscope.

fuflans August 16, 2011 at 7:09 pm

the fusion of two intellectual conservatives

huh. i guess they are what passes for conservative 'intellectual'.

DashboardBuddha August 16, 2011 at 7:16 pm

"intellectual conservatives" has become meaningless since Bill Buckley died.

johnnyzhivago August 16, 2011 at 8:06 pm

"intellectual conservatives"??? Who's appearing besides Beck and Palin?

neiltheblaze August 16, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Ross Douthat. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Kidding, kidding….. i meant Andrew Sullivan. He's one of them intellectual conservatives. He said so himself.

user-of-owls August 16, 2011 at 10:42 pm

Hey, now, don't speak ill of a certain newly-bald gin-soaked former Trotskyite popinjay!

Negropolis August 16, 2011 at 10:39 pm

What a bunch of oxymorons, these two.

mourningnmerica August 17, 2011 at 12:16 am

Sarah Palin is an intellectual in the same way that Steven Hawking is a jazz drummer.

Troglodeity August 17, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Sarah Palin an "intellectual" conservative? Someone was snickering when they wrote that ad copy.

Tengu August 16, 2011 at 6:43 pm

Small Type: Subject to cancellation without notice.

KenLayIsAlive August 16, 2011 at 7:20 pm

Smaller type: No Refunds.

DahBoner August 16, 2011 at 7:33 pm

Kochtober Surprise

Dashboard_Jesus August 17, 2011 at 5:13 am

once again I must applaud you Tengu for your now ENORMOUS 135" p-ness, seein's how I almost NEVER see comments from you on this Wonkette-thingy (hell you got a bigger p-ness than Wookies AND Barb, two of my personal favorites and prolific commen-taters…truly an admirable feet!) *golf clap*

Toomush_Infer August 17, 2011 at 10:18 am

Nah, she'll come, but leave halfway through…

iburl August 16, 2011 at 6:44 pm

GrifterCon 2011: "Republican Defensiveness"

Fukui_sanYesOta August 16, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Hansen's Tree Services?

I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok, ….

__kth__ August 16, 2011 at 6:51 pm

To Catch a Lumberjack

Fukui_sanYesOta August 16, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Well, I did hear that Hansen raped and murdered a young privet in 1991.

dizzeeboy August 16, 2011 at 6:53 pm

May I speak to the Branch Manager?

Sharkey August 16, 2011 at 7:01 pm

Yeah, run by Isaac, Taylor, and Zac – capiche?

finallyhappy August 16, 2011 at 8:11 pm

Are they still around?

Angry_Marmot August 17, 2011 at 2:47 am

Somebody's getting trimmed.

Toomush_Infer August 17, 2011 at 10:20 am

believe that it's: "We're all lumberjacks and we don't care…."

BZ1 August 16, 2011 at 6:44 pm

..is there no deep crater to put these loons??

emmelemm August 16, 2011 at 7:00 pm

Perhaps an offshore island, somewhere?

DashboardBuddha August 16, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Hopefully on the dark side of the moon.

flamingpdog August 16, 2011 at 11:25 pm

Hey, leave Pink Floyd outta this!

DashboardBuddha August 16, 2011 at 11:52 pm

Hey…but I'm talking about pigs.

BlueStateLibel August 16, 2011 at 6:45 pm

I like how both Palin and Beck now have "former" before their names, heh.

Tundra Grifter August 16, 2011 at 9:09 pm

Isn't that Ole Newt's first name?

Negropolis August 16, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Nah. I think his first name is "Hasbeen." Sounds a little Muslin, don't it?

Tundra Grifter August 17, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Always avoid the "Beens:" Couldabeen, Wouldabeen, & Shouldabeen.

And, as you point out, their cousin Hasbeen.

angryhaiku August 18, 2011 at 10:03 am

QUITTER LIBEL

SexySmurf August 16, 2011 at 6:46 pm

TICKET PRICES RANGE FROM $20 TO $97, WITH THE $97 TICKET COMES A COMMEMORATIVE T-SHIRT

I hope they ordered enough in size XXXXXL.

DaSandman August 16, 2011 at 7:06 pm

And with complementry insulin syringes.

SayItWithWookies August 16, 2011 at 6:46 pm

I'm thrilled that these two imbeciles are finally defending the Republic. Which branch of the service will they be enlisting in?

Fukui_sanYesOta August 16, 2011 at 6:52 pm

2nd Chickenhawks, verbal diarrhea platoon.

Texan_Bulldog August 16, 2011 at 7:18 pm

All of 'em, Katie.

PristinePantalones August 16, 2011 at 8:39 pm

82nd Chairborne.

Negropolis August 16, 2011 at 10:41 pm

Why, the United States Navy, 'cause it's got poop decks and rear admirals and the like.

DoktorThompson August 16, 2011 at 11:23 pm

Hair Force

flamingpdog August 16, 2011 at 11:33 pm

The Koch Guard.

Steverino247 August 16, 2011 at 11:35 pm

Well, they're both under six feet tall, so that leaves out the Coast Guard.

Negropolis August 17, 2011 at 12:54 am

Beck's actually tall. In fact, most of the Fox guys are.

rocktonsam August 16, 2011 at 6:46 pm

sorry, Glen and $arah who?

Kidneys4Sale August 16, 2011 at 6:49 pm

No.

SayItWithWookies August 16, 2011 at 6:50 pm

sponsored by 97.1-FM and Hansen’s Tree Services in O’Fallon, Mo.

…and right now some little league coach is thinking, "They dropped us for those assholes?!"

powersuit August 17, 2011 at 10:17 am

Sorry kids! No bats this season because Miss Sarah needed the shrimp buffet backstage!

OC_Surf_Serf August 16, 2011 at 6:51 pm

Night of Family Fun

Sarah's family has had too much 'Night Fun' and I certainly wouldn't let Glenn anywhere near my kids…

OkieDokieDog August 16, 2011 at 6:52 pm

I wonder how many Okies will pack the kiddos, granny, and crazy pedo uncle into the minivan to head to Missouri to help defend the republic from space aliens or giant grasshoppers or whatever the hell it is that they think is taking away their freedums.

On second thought, I really don't want to know how many.

PristinePantalones August 16, 2011 at 8:42 pm

Let me put it this way. At the last "rally" for MishMash BatshitKrayKrayMann, a whopping 35 people turned out for the much-lauded "tea party darling." Now, if the "darling" gets a whole 35 of these lazy-assed teatards, one can only wonder what the ex-Gov and ex-tv exploding head could possibly draw. And — $20 tickets? That's sad. I can't even get a ticket to hear some moderately good but not famous musician for less than $100.

LettucePrey August 16, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Worst concert lineup since Creed/Nickelback 2002.

Radiotherapy® August 16, 2011 at 6:59 pm

No way, Kenny G/Michael Bolton noodled past them….easy.

Negropolis August 16, 2011 at 10:43 pm

Please, god, do not let Bieber and Rebecca Black find one another.

flamingpdog August 16, 2011 at 11:39 pm

Oh, thanks, I just had a picture of those two "finding" each other pop into my brain. I don't think there's enough brain bleach within a 100-mile radius of me to burn off that image.

Negropolis August 17, 2011 at 12:55 am

I honestly didn't mean it as a double entendre, but it works so much better on that level.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 17, 2011 at 10:49 am

Well, if they don't sing or anything, I might find it watchable.

Negropolis August 17, 2011 at 11:57 pm

Yeah, it'd make some awesome lesbian porn.

NowTheyTellMe August 16, 2011 at 6:53 pm

Why am I thinking of the Nuremberg Rallies?

Radiotherapy® August 16, 2011 at 7:12 pm

Maybe it's this speech wherein the mustachioed corporal talks about "restoring honour" and God and patriotism and victimization and all the other things these wingtards spout.

KenLayIsAlive August 16, 2011 at 7:24 pm

This won't be nearly as classy.

Negropolis August 16, 2011 at 10:44 pm

No kidding. If you spot a uniform in the entire line-up and crowd it will have been a miracle.

flamingpdog August 16, 2011 at 11:42 pm

Oh, I wouldn't be at all surprised to see a few of these uniforms in the crowd.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 17, 2011 at 10:52 am

Somehow, this won't quite measure up. The crowd of 126 (including media) might be part of the reaon.

OC_Surf_Serf August 16, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Also brought to you by Americans for Prosperity, Webster Dental, Woods Basement Systems, Dentistry With TLC.

Hmmm, I wonder if sponsor #1 covers 99 or 99.5 % of the funding??

Crank_Tango August 16, 2011 at 7:22 pm

Oh never count out Woods Basement Systems. I hear they are a real basement-system juggernaut in that neck of the woods.

FlyOverGirl August 16, 2011 at 7:34 pm

AFP allied with dentists? Makes complete sense to me.

BTWBFDIMHO August 16, 2011 at 7:48 pm

Are you thinking about that scene with Lawrence Olivier and Dustin Hoffman?

ProudLibunatic August 16, 2011 at 8:32 pm

I read that as Dysentery With TLC.
Somehow fitting, I think.

Tundra Grifter August 16, 2011 at 9:11 pm

We know how much the Koch bros. hate the EPA. I'm sure it is a pure coincidence that members of the Koch Ring such as Off-the-Mark Levin rant and rave about how horrible that Federal agency really is. Particularly when it attempts to actually enforce regulations passed during the Administrations of President Bush.

henrypuppyhead August 16, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Is Palin going make a entrance reminiscent of Ana Gasteyer's Martha Stewart but with tasteful star spangled pasties?

Sharkey August 16, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Wait, I can just decide to "put my name on the ballot"? That's all there is to it?

Sharkey / Prommie 2012!!!1@!

I mean, Prommie / Sharkey 2012!

AlaskaGrrl August 16, 2011 at 6:58 pm

"…sponsored by 97.1-FM and Hansen’s Tree Services in O’Fallon, Mo. "

A tree service? Seriously? How prestigious. What are the promos like? Do they sound like the ones for tractor pulls and monster truck rallies? Yep, this is a sign that the nations attention span has moved on from Beck and Palin. They'll be cutting ribbons at Dollar Store openings next.

DahBoner August 16, 2011 at 7:20 pm

"They'll be cutting ribbons at Dollar Store openings next."

Stores still accept Fiat currency?

V572 T-Blow August 16, 2011 at 7:27 pm

That and Alfa Romeo.

johnnyzhivago August 16, 2011 at 8:08 pm

In NJ they call themselves Arborists

zhubajie August 16, 2011 at 9:36 pm

It'll probably be 1/3 as entertaining!

Barrelhse August 16, 2011 at 9:45 pm

Those businesses putting their names on this may be saying "We prefer WHITE customers."
Actually, this whole right-wing schtick just says to me that the good ole US of A is in deep shit, and more than likely in permanent decline.

Barb August 16, 2011 at 6:59 pm

They will appear on Yom Kippur, Oct 7th. (begins at sundown) I hope Beck has the good sense not to make nazi references while Sarah is wearing her ginormous Star of David bling.

Yom Kippur is the "Day of Atonement" They should change the name to "Day of A Tone Deaf" for all those who will have their hearing ruined by Palin's shrieking.

fuflans August 16, 2011 at 7:10 pm

seriously, do you think either of these putzes has any idea what yom kippur is?

Barb August 16, 2011 at 7:19 pm

nope

weejee August 16, 2011 at 7:27 pm

Yom kippur? Isn't that what the Norskis do with herring?

nounverb911 August 16, 2011 at 7:28 pm

Kippers? Yum!

under_score August 16, 2011 at 11:44 pm

I think they actually *do* know. This way, they can talk about how much the lurrrrve Israel and the Jewish people without having to actually see any.

powersuit August 17, 2011 at 10:24 am

Silly Barb, atonement is for the Jews! Christians have repentence! When they have sinned. Which Glenn and Sarah have done expertly.

YouBetcha August 16, 2011 at 6:59 pm

If we throw dollar bills at them, they will make out on stage, yes? I would pay to see that. I bet their spawn would be so ugly and weird.

outragedcitizen August 17, 2011 at 8:45 am

If you threw a dollar on the stage, those two would beat each other to death to get at it first.

YouBetcha August 18, 2011 at 1:41 pm

So what you're saying is, entertainment either way?

gullywompr August 16, 2011 at 7:01 pm

Needz more Larry the Cable Guy.

DashboardBuddha August 16, 2011 at 7:24 pm

He's the opening act.

LtCG story – Back when I lived in Lewiston, ME (it's not hell, but you can see it from there), Larry did a show. It.made.the.front.page.of.the.paper.

I was sore embarrassed.

gullywompr August 16, 2011 at 7:52 pm

Actually, it wouldn't be the first time that Larry opened for Sarah.

Rotundo_ August 16, 2011 at 7:42 pm

Nugent. The Nuge needs to open for these two. What could be more patriotic than Wang Dang Sweet Poontang and Cat Scratch Fever opening for the patriotic duo. Larry doesn't do guns and now that Derek St. Holmes is desparate enough to work with Nugent again, there will actually be someone who *can* sing on the stage with him. Ted can shoot a caged tame bear for freedumb too, and then the pyro crew can have streamers of fire shoot out its ass for the finale. That's the sort of entertainment and patriotic inspiration that Missouri is fairly crying out for.

AJWjr. August 16, 2011 at 10:56 pm

Mmm, bear mung…

Radiotherapy® August 16, 2011 at 8:34 pm

Joe the Plumber and the new "don't call us terrorists" darling , the Überpatriot, Ryan Rhodes.
*Gack*

RedneckMuslin August 16, 2011 at 7:03 pm

Put some crosshairs on St Louie.

rahelio August 16, 2011 at 8:47 pm

Don't you meant "surveyors marks"?

Tundra Grifter August 16, 2011 at 9:12 pm

Actually, it's St. Charles – which makes St. Louis look pretty good.

Negropolis August 16, 2011 at 10:50 pm

I love how they are out in the suburbs. St. Lous proper would run their asses out of town.

DaSandman August 16, 2011 at 7:07 pm

Will they bang in some sort of star spangled Right Wing Jeebus baby unity fuck?

Oh wait, thats Brisket in the parking lot with the valets.

My bad.

mavenmaven August 16, 2011 at 7:08 pm

Obviously if she'll announce, she'll announce at the latest possible date so that she can keep collecting the money money money, which is all that really matters. Money money money!

finallyhappy August 16, 2011 at 8:16 pm

what- we don't need no ch ch ch cha ching, we don't need no bla-bla-bla bla bling- oh, wait-she really does

Terry August 16, 2011 at 9:14 pm

Money AND attention

berkeleyfarm August 17, 2011 at 2:04 am

And make up some lame excuse (probably related to her kids, because that'll keep the roobs on the hook, and the kids are all on the payroll so they won't blab) why she quits a couple of weeks later. Then, back to unrestricted SarahPAC grifting till the 2016 cycle starts, as opposed to the campaign fund with all the rules.

bebecca2298 August 17, 2011 at 11:02 am

and avoid all those gotcha questions

fuflans August 16, 2011 at 7:12 pm

if sarah is singing this republic is assuredly going to need defending.

SudsMcKenzie August 16, 2011 at 7:13 pm

Branson will be a ghost town on Oct 7th.

DahBoner August 16, 2011 at 7:21 pm

# WINNING

Texan_Bulldog August 16, 2011 at 7:13 pm

"…though it’s hard to imagine a presidential candidate charging people to see her speak."

I love STLtoday.com's charming naivete–the journalist obviously has not read a single article about Snowbilly or this would not be coming as a surprise.

flamingpdog August 16, 2011 at 11:54 pm

Damn, I was really hoping that was snark in that article.

kissawookiee August 17, 2011 at 10:05 am

My greatest source of surprise these days is the fact that she hasn't found a way to charge journalists for writing about her. Well, not since that whole trademarkin' the name thing fell through last year.

Radiotherapy® August 16, 2011 at 7:14 pm

Blair, you know they get all touchy when you call them terrorists. After all, they're not even close to the EPA.

MissusBarry August 16, 2011 at 7:14 pm

It's like the antithesis of the All-Star game…teabagging assholes in general and these pathetic, washed-up grifters in particular.

fuflans August 16, 2011 at 7:15 pm

by october michele will be a has-been. these two will be mortified.

and i mean that in the medical sense.

flamingpdog August 16, 2011 at 11:57 pm

If only we could mortarfy the two of them.

DahBoner August 16, 2011 at 7:15 pm

"President Obama's Midwestern bus tour is getting a lot of attention but so is his mode of transportation. Some say the million dollar blacked-out behemoth looks like it should be carrying Darth Vader rather than a president."

Ha, ha. Well, I'm sure "some people" at FOXNEWS would say he should be riding in the back of the bus, anyway…

flamingpdog August 16, 2011 at 11:59 pm

Great, the economy's so bad now that the Preznit has to ride around in a Dick Cheney hand-me-down?

Crank_Tango August 16, 2011 at 7:23 pm

And thus Cocktober kicks off not with a bang, but a shrivel.

Rotundo_ August 16, 2011 at 7:45 pm

A retreat into the abdomenal cavity?

V572 T-Blow August 16, 2011 at 7:29 pm

"…though it’s hard to imagine a presidential candidate charging people to see her speak."

How about a House Budget Committee chairman for $15?
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/08/16/1007449/

Dan's boy Ben Quayle is taking the same route. No hard questions!

Texan_Bulldog August 16, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Tim Tebow sucks! Sorry, what was your comment about?

V572 T-Blow August 16, 2011 at 7:38 pm

Well I was told yesterday that if I wanted to have sexy-time talk with teh ladiez of teh Wonkette, I’d have to get a more fap-worthy avatar. Sounds like for you, this isn’t it…

Texan_Bulldog August 16, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Ummm…no. Besides Tim Tebow is probably still a virgin–saving himself for the future Mrs. Tim Tebow. I'm sure his dick has the miraculous image of Mary or Jesus on it…just gahh. Wait, I bet Tim's wife conceives immaculately. Can you tell I really dislike him?

Barb August 16, 2011 at 8:59 pm

Texan_Bulldog, Tim is an annoying little twerp.

DahBoner August 16, 2011 at 7:31 pm

"“The potential is great that Karl Rove will have some desire to undermine Rick Perry’s presidential bid because Perry is not Karl’s kind of candidate,” said R.G. Ratcliffe, a Texas reporter writing a book on Perry. And, he added, “If Perry wins and he has the sense that Rove was somehow undermining him in the process, then there could be payback.”"

WOO HOO!

INTER-TRIBAL HILLBILLY WARFARE!!!

fuflans August 16, 2011 at 8:37 pm

i'm starting to feel a little less worried about rickie – as the ben bernanke story seems to be getting some traction (marketplace just signed off with a mocking reference).

my boy keeps saying he's not ready for prime time and just wait and watch. but me, i fret.

PristinePantalones August 16, 2011 at 8:50 pm

BEATDOWN! BEATDOWN!!!

Negropolis August 16, 2011 at 10:52 pm

Team Bush hates Perry, and for once, this is probably good news for John McCain. Well, it's good news for America, anyway.

weejee August 16, 2011 at 7:33 pm

The sooner these two schlimazels are off to the memorabilia and trading card circuit, the better.

PristinePantalones August 16, 2011 at 8:51 pm

A pair of goniffs.

Chet Kincaid August 17, 2011 at 2:02 am

We could tell O.J. that they stole his stuff, then sit back and watch nature take its course.

x111e7thst August 16, 2011 at 7:34 pm

While Hansen’s Tree Services may not be exactly the sort of sponsor that connotes presidential timber it's still a step up from the Kockkks.

FlyOverGirl August 16, 2011 at 7:34 pm

If your not not an Insider you can sign up now, it only takes a minute and is totally free.

And I thought the shit from Palin's mouth made my brain hurt.

Come here a minute August 16, 2011 at 7:37 pm

Be careful, Glenn, and be nice to the Snowbilly Grifter, or you could end up just another inept accomplice in the Hansen’s Tree Services wood chipper.

JoshuaNorton August 16, 2011 at 7:38 pm

though it’s hard to imagine a presidential candidate charging people to see her speak.

Exactly what part of "Snowbilly Grifter" don't you understand?

fuflans August 16, 2011 at 7:39 pm

It’s hard to gauge what the pending appearance means for Palin’s possible White House aspirations

nothing. absolutely nothing.

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi August 16, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Glenn Beck will put a good word in for her with the Israelis
Sarah Palin received zero (0) write-in votes at Ames, Iowa

glamourdammerung August 16, 2011 at 8:05 pm

And Ron Paul stayed flat.

Still, this is a better comment than your usual "Jews did 9/11" haikus for morons.

Negropolis August 16, 2011 at 10:54 pm

Well, this one had the word "Israelis" in it, so it's really not much better.

Fox n Fiends August 16, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Tony LaRussa just came in his jorts.

Tommmcatt August 16, 2011 at 7:44 pm

Heh. They sense themselves fading, their importance dwindling. Hence the bundling approach to marketing.

Suck it up, Sarah Somebody and wossname, Beck-guy. You are now the wingnut welfare version of a 2-DVD for $25 pack of old Nick Cage movies.

mourningnmerica August 17, 2011 at 12:26 am

LOL apalooza.

iburl August 16, 2011 at 7:44 pm

Maybe they can get that old 80's/90's band "Drivin' and Cryin'" to open for them.

chascates August 16, 2011 at 7:51 pm

When you need a strong tree to lynch the coloreds from . . .think Hansens!

Nopantsmcgee August 16, 2011 at 7:51 pm

Jesus, what fresh hell is this.

BTWBFDIMHO August 16, 2011 at 7:51 pm

So someone is willing to pay up to $97 so Palin and the Wizard of Chalkistan can Defend the Republic, but they'd rather let the country default before raising taxes? Interesting.

fuflans August 16, 2011 at 7:51 pm

this is OT but i am listening to YET another story about how fiscal austerity is the absolute WRONG course to be taking right now. this is all i've been hearing since the debt deal was done.

where the fuck were these stories in the four months preceding (well, except a few lone voices like krugman, wonkette and the economist) when they might have done some bloody good?

god we are so screwed.

imissopus August 16, 2011 at 10:44 pm

I think those stories were out there, it was just that the people who needed to be reading them weren't.

lmw777 August 16, 2011 at 7:52 pm

Will my Hoveround fit in the venue?

Jukesgrrl August 17, 2011 at 12:39 am

Hard to believe anyone's going who doesn't have one. And for an extra $97, The Grifter will lay her beautifully manicured hands on you and you will throw away your insulin syringe and WALK.

Nopantsmcgee August 16, 2011 at 7:54 pm

"It’s hard to gauge what the pending appearance means for Palin’s possible White House aspirations, though it’s hard to imagine a presidential candidate charging people to see her speak."

But, they give a discount to people who actually listen to her speak.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 17, 2011 at 11:03 am

I would not listen if she paid me $97.

user-of-owls August 16, 2011 at 8:03 pm

I'm not tryin' to be your hero
'Cause that zero is too cold for me, Brrr
I'm not tryin' to be your highness
'Cause that minus is too low to see, yeah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_DV54ddNHE

glamourdammerung August 16, 2011 at 8:07 pm

Speaking of failed candidates, can we get a post about Papa Doc Ron Paul's anti-abortion screed? It would be amusing, if only for the Paultards whining about how once again, direct quotes are smears.

FannyBurney August 16, 2011 at 8:26 pm

Somebody should stage a competing event sponsored by a pest control service.

flamingpdog August 17, 2011 at 12:07 am

Tom DeLay's back in business?

rahelio August 16, 2011 at 8:48 pm

Ah! Kill it with fire!

neiltheblaze August 16, 2011 at 9:15 pm

Hey boys and girls! I have an idea! Nobody pay attention!!

But then the media would report that nobody was paying attention.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 17, 2011 at 11:05 am

Well, to be fair, that would be news.

It's just dawning on me that there's no escape from this Hell. (I know, I know — how could I have missed that?)

phlox✔ August 16, 2011 at 9:15 pm

Let me be clear. I will not drive my Volvo the 30 minutes from my liberal elite, urban enclave… " to witness the fusion of two intellectual conservatives as they Defend the Republic on the Family Arena stage.",
Not going to happen, no matter what hilarity/insanity may ensue. No Way.

Terry August 16, 2011 at 9:17 pm

Not even to picket the venue?

phlox✔ August 16, 2011 at 9:25 pm

They're both well on their way to irrelevancy so what's really the point?

Tundra Grifter August 16, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Two washed-up never was'z trying to keep a glimmer of the spotlight on them.

They may think they are ready for their close-up – but the director has passed out and the audience lost interest a long, long time ago.

This is sadder than a Republican state representative coming out of the closet when his luggage lifter calls his wife.

owhatever August 16, 2011 at 9:25 pm

And this potion will cure baldness, preggernancy, atheritis, hop-hip soreness, and bird flu. FREE with each purchase, a pre-owned autograph of Sarah Palin and a Glen Beck dog whistle that only patriots can hear. One of Sarah's younger unmarried relatives will pop out a new kid nine months early at halftime. Grifters II, and the pickings are ripe.

Mahousu August 16, 2011 at 9:27 pm

Slight typo in the name – should read "Defrauding the Republic."

poncho_pilot August 16, 2011 at 9:32 pm

fusion, huh? is this like that Cronenberg movie with Jeff Goldblum? will there be a Palin that turns into Glenn Beck afterwards and a tiny annoying Glenn Beck with Palin's head? and when the mini-Beck says, "help me!" with Palin's irritating whirrrr of a voice will anyone care? 'cause Vincent Price is dead, man. long live, Vincent Price.

NorthStarSpanx August 16, 2011 at 9:53 pm

A year ago they were charging $1,000 for a photo with her, today it's Vaudeville for a dollar dollar bill yo.

MLHencken August 17, 2011 at 8:01 am

Next stop: Flashdancers.

Negropolis August 17, 2011 at 8:13 am

She is not long for such fame. It's only a matter of time before she's giving "leadership" speeches for a hundred dollars a pop at random La Quinta Inns on the side of suburban highways, selling t-shirts and cds out the back of her bus, her and her misfit Von Trampp family.

Bristol will be lucky if she lands some kind of long-term "celebrity" guest spot at some upscale Hollywood strip club putting those Dancing With the Stars moves to good use.

SwanSwanH August 16, 2011 at 9:53 pm

She's a little bit cuntry…

user-of-owls August 16, 2011 at 10:00 pm

,,,he's a little bit short of soul

rocktonsam August 16, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Paul Ryan is charging 15 bucks to ask him questions and see his abs,probably.

user-of-owls August 16, 2011 at 10:39 pm

…and to scare the hiccups outta your kid.

SudsMcKenzie August 17, 2011 at 12:10 am

I would rather watch Transformers III

Negropolis August 17, 2011 at 12:58 am

LOL! WIN

BarackMyWorld August 16, 2011 at 10:18 pm

You all laugh, but isn't this exactly what former VP candidate FDR did after losing the 1928 election? Oh, wait…my bad, he actually fought a life-threatening bout of polio and got elected governor of New York.

SudsMcKenzie August 16, 2011 at 10:39 pm

did he have a bus, or were they still riding Dinosaurs back then?

flamingpdog August 17, 2011 at 12:11 am

They had a bus, but it was powered by 36 pairs of feet.

snoopyfan2010 August 16, 2011 at 10:23 pm

She is a presidential candidate who is so far not running for president, so obviously she needs lots of extra ca$$h, because Willow and Piper will probably need to start buying diapers soon.

US America FTW! That's what our founding fathers died for.

seppdecker August 16, 2011 at 10:31 pm

The Family Arena? WTF is that, where the local mega-church hosts Skillet concerts? Couldn't they book Busch Stadium or even the Bowling Hall of Fame?

Fukui_sanYesOta August 16, 2011 at 10:48 pm

Ahahaha, from wikipedia:

"The Family Arena also hosted Boeing Integrated Defense Systems' "Recommitment to Ethics Day" in 2005 and 2006 for Greater St. Louis."

Nothing says family fun and ethics better than a finely-honed integrated defense system!

flamingpdog August 17, 2011 at 12:14 am

At least Missouri's defense systems are integrated.

Negropolis August 16, 2011 at 10:36 pm

A grandma's got to grift, my friends. Grandma needs a new pair of shoes.

seppdecker August 16, 2011 at 11:02 pm

Or a new pair of Spanx…

HarryButtle August 16, 2011 at 10:51 pm

Bruce Dern…our lonely nation turns its eyes to you (and your blimp of death).

ShaveTheWhales August 16, 2011 at 10:58 pm

OT — AP just called the second WI recall (these were the Dem incumbents) for the Dem. State senate stays 17R-16D, but at least they held onto the two-seat gain.

Negropolis August 16, 2011 at 11:06 pm

The state senate is more a 16R – 1Independent Republican – 16D. From what I hear, Dale Schultz will definitely cross the aisle if Walker tries to push through the more extreme parts of his agenda. The goal was to take back the senate, but this was still a win for state Dems no matter which way you turn it. It's really kind of amazing what they were able to accomplish. If this had been my state, I'd have been surprised if we could have even got all of the names on the ballot to begin with, let alone actually win some of the districts.

ShaveTheWhales August 16, 2011 at 11:17 pm

I agree this was a pretty solid accomplishment. Winning 3 of 6 recalls would have been amazing — I mean, several of them were in solidly R districts. The couldn't recall the ones that limped in in 2010 because of the one-year rule. These results should give the 2010 R winners in swing districts a little something to think about.

SudsMcKenzie August 16, 2011 at 11:58 pm

next up, the Brewers win the divisio, …. I mean the Walker recall. It was one area of Milwaukee that fucked up both the Supreme Court election and one of the recalls.

Waukeshaw ( I want to say it's WI's Berchtesgarden, but its more our Dusseldorf)

It will be interesting to see if Snotty can win a general recall, …and the money

the mooonnney

smokefilleddoommate August 17, 2011 at 12:00 am

The prairie continues to be somewhat pleasant..

smokefilleddoommate August 17, 2011 at 12:04 am

Palin/Beck = 'Blank Epic' (or Epic Blank).. Dolla dolla bill y'all.

FlownOver August 17, 2011 at 12:08 am

How many of the faithful will return to their homes loaded down with a variety of Amway products?

mourningnmerica August 17, 2011 at 12:36 am

Let's sneak into the parking lot and plaster Obama 2012 bumper stickers on everything.

Jukesgrrl August 17, 2011 at 12:42 am

Is someone from Indiana setting up the stage? (Too soon?)

Negropolis August 17, 2011 at 1:00 am

Inshallah. (yeah, too soon, and we're all going to hell)

Negropolis August 17, 2011 at 1:01 am

Will there be cake? I was told there would be cake.

I'm kind of surprised they aren't holding this thing in Joplin, since the two of them really are that shameless.

HistoriCat August 17, 2011 at 10:52 am

People in Joplin are putting their money into rebuilding. Never ever hold your grift family fun event in a place where the people are economically constrained.

Negropolis August 17, 2011 at 11:57 pm

I forgot, reconstruction would, indeed, be competition to their con.

anniegetyerfun August 17, 2011 at 1:20 am

How will America handle so much raw, unapologetic patriotism stupidity in one Family Arena?

BerkeleyBear August 17, 2011 at 1:26 am

St. Charles is as close to St. Louis as you can go and be in a "safe" (overwhelimingly white) community. I have news for them, though – it almost went for Obama in 08 (I'm talking within dozens of votes, because idjits like me pounded the ground for weeks there) and did vote for a Dem governor, Senator and even put a Dem on the city council for the first time in 20 years.

widget2011 August 17, 2011 at 5:08 am

“Defending the Republic” , from who?, the fifth columnist?, the Messicans?, the Muslins? Just who is the threat? Or maybe, just maybe, America needs to be defended from X-military types who served to protect America, like me and Tom the Younger because we are not what these 2 shitsacks consider "Real Murkans". Or perhaps again, they want to defend "Murka" against "Barack the Magic Negro", muslin, socialist, kenyan-born overlord, duly elected president? Hopefully this is on Halloween. I hate you John McCain! For bringing this frozen fish grifter from Alaska!

Come here a minute August 17, 2011 at 9:31 am

This event is almost two months away — there is absolutely no chance Palin makes it that long without quitting.

Ducksworthy August 17, 2011 at 9:41 am

Sorry. I'll be at the synagog that evening.

Toomush_Infer August 17, 2011 at 10:30 am

Couldn't resist: Pat Boone is opening for them…

Buckminster August 17, 2011 at 11:58 am

"If your not not an Insider you can sign up now, it only takes a minute and is totally free. BECOME AN INSIDER"

Grammar optional at 97.1 FM. Jebus.

ttommyunger August 17, 2011 at 1:42 pm

The festivities will be capped off by the clobbering of a Pinyata which is an actual Messican and then a Lynching reenactment featuring Toby Keith and Ted Nugent as Klansmen.

Troglodeity August 17, 2011 at 2:48 pm

From 97.1: "Do not miss this once in a lifetime opportunity … as they Defend the Republic on the Family Arena stage" … against Vickie Guerrero and the Iron Sheik!

finallyhappy August 16, 2011 at 8:14 pm

After 27 hours of fasting, anything is yum!

MLHencken August 17, 2011 at 7:50 am

Sketches of Spain?

Doesn't really work, sorry.

James Michael Curley August 17, 2011 at 12:41 pm

No, from Kind of Blue – late fifties.

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