It is possible that if we too had billions of dollars, we might set fire to a few million of it every day for fun and “good form” or however it is appropriate to celebrate exorbitant wealth these days, but eccentric Silicon Valley tycoon Peter Thiel will do everybody one better and use a little of that billionaire barbecue tinder pile to the tune of $1.25 million to fund an adorable lunatic venture proposing to build an island nation of Paultards “oil-rig style” somewhere off the coast of San Francisco/ wherever. “Will there be Internet forums?” Oh, uh, probably! The organization behind this blockbuster premise is called the Seasteading Institute, a group that devotes itself to arguing on its Wiki about what kind of man-made island would be most likely to live up to Ayn Rand’s paradisiac vision of total lawlessness while trying to avoid tsunami death. No one claimed libertarian utopia was easy!
From the Lookout:
Thiel has been a big backer of the Seasteading Institute, which seeks to build sovereign nations on oil rig-like platforms to occupy waters beyond the reach of law-of-the-sea treaties. The idea is for these countries to start from scratch–free from the laws, regulations, and moral codes of any existing place. Details says the experiment would be “a kind of floating petri dish for implementing policies that libertarians, stymied by indifference at the voting booths, have been unable to advance: no welfare, looser building codes, no minimum wage, and few restrictions on weapons.”
Well, certainly you had us at “looser building codes and piles of weapons” for your island nation of Paultards. Where do we sign up?
Let’s see, oh please let’s have an example, what do the Seasteading Wiki’s technical details for this “BreakwaterBay” proposal include?
- Comfort – By eliminating waves, interior structures should be very comfortable
- Safety – By having a single tough structure to eliminate waves, we keep the whole community safe. However, this means that if it fails, everyone may be screwed.
- Cost – If breakwater cost scales proportionally to its length, while it protects a space proportional to its area, then there is an economy of scale of 1/r. This means that it will get cheaper to protect each new unit of area as the community gets larger. However, a breakwater is a huge structure, and the initial cost is quite high, so it may not be possible to start small.
- Modular – Within the bay, floating land can easily be rearranged. However, because of economies of scale, there will tend to be few breakwaters, and so it decreases the modularity between communities. To compete with an existing breakwater, you must build a large enough breakwater to be price-competitive. This reduces dynamic geography, especially in combination with the positive network effects of concentrations of people.
- Cargo – By creating a sheltered bay, this becomes very easy. (There needs to be a way in, of course).
If they can figure out this “way in” business, we are totally sold. [The Lookout/ Seasteading Institute; h/t Wonkette operative "Monsieur Grumpe"]
{ 386 comments }
Giant, ocean-going city/lack of regulations. Wow, I can't imagine how this plant WON'T be a huge success.
I'm thinking the pirates will give them 2 or3 days to get settled complacent then shoot the place up.
But they'll have guns, right? So they'll be able to fight back all macho-like, and everything. At least until they run out of ammo.
I predict that during the first sizable storm, particularly if they lose the Internet, that they'll go Lord of the Flies.
Really? It seems to me that Lord of the Flies is the starting point.
I can't wait to see where they go from there.
Good point. A storm and lack of internet will start the cannibalism.
Isn't this the whole premise of BioShock? We all know how that ended up.
If all the gazillionaires are in one spot it makes it easier to get rid of them in one giant "mishap".
It'd be like the Caymans, but with actual people instead of dummy mailboxes.
I like the way you think.
Get the moneyz first.
This is exactly why I was so excited about the civilian space trips for billionaires …
Once they're up there, we hack their bank accounts, right?
I was thinking of something more, I don't know, "explosive," but OK.
Too soon!
An explosion would not be as satisfying as simply disabling the engines. Thought experiment: would the air, the water, or the heating run out first?
Something, err, "challenging"
I like your ideas, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter…
Needs more tsunamis.
+1
Tsunamis would have little effect on a floating platform. Typhoons, however, would be totally awesome.
if perry was a decent human being, he would have another prayer rally and summon poseidon orcwhatever tsunami god.
This would make a great movie! Oh, wait…
The Poseiden Adventure part 3 or 4?
Titanic 2: When Icefloes Attack.
It did make for a rather entertaining "beach book" by Thomas Perry – "Island."
Water World?
"Dead Calm."
Do all the interns get Glocks?
No, they all share one.
//rimshot
Jaws 4: The Teeth of Justice?
Atlas Sank, Part 1?
Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea: Capitalism Dives.
Waiter World
Wah! Wah! World
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: the College Years.
Lord of the Flies has been done. Plus too many pigs' heads.
We could replace them with teabagger heads.
Bio-Dome 2 – Paulie gets wet!
Peter Thiel is also a gay man whose Christian faith reportedly makes him very self-loathing. He's just a barrel of crazy!
Most importantly: Which brand of crazy-assed Christian Dominionism will he impose on his Ayn Randian, oil-barrell-floating, grease pit of a paradise?
Wait, I thought Jeebus was all USAmerican?
And how will the techno-libertarians who get lured out there react when Sharia law gets imposed?
Sounds like a total prick so far.
I thought such a community already existed, and it was called "The Maldives". That one is too far from Ahnold, I guess.
GP: Isn't that one of the island chains that will probably disappear when man-made climate change melts the ice and the oceans rise ten or so feet?
Happily, there's no such thing, and anyone who says otherwise is (glub, glub, glub…)
Isn't there also a "World" archipelago or some shit like that near Bahrain? Oh wait, never mind. Too many Muslins.
Ha HA! But it's disappearing already.
Dubai, and it's literally abandoned and sinking back into the sea because they constructed it so poorly.
I hate to break the news to Mr. Richie Rich but there is little regulation called SOLAS, which is Safety of Life at Sea. It doesn't matter if your little community is outside the coastal waters of the US – it's maritime law and if you don't comply, well no insurance for you.
If a bunch of paultards have a fire out in utopia but didn't pay for a sprinkler system, you can bet Richie Rich will want the Coast Guard to save his ass.
Insurance, eh? Everyone pays a small amount to share the risk. That sounds like, um, socialism.
But if these guys want a law-free zone and are willing to pay big bucks for it, I say sell them the equivalent space in Alaska or MIssissippi. Call it a Wild LIfe Reservation. No Constitutional protections, no Federal or State authority. They can create any society they want. And the government doesn;t intervene under any circumstances. I'm sure it will be like heaven for the survivors.
I'm not sure there will be survivors.
They can call it Coventry.
They need to build this utopia off the Russian coast rather than the US. I'd enjoy watching them phone up Putin for a rescue.
Oh, like Vladi's going to give them his number. He'll probably watch on the spy screens as they glub, glub, glub their last few breffs.
I think Putin would give them his number, if only to laugh at them as they do the glub, glub, glub. He strikes me as that sort of creature.
Upfistingly agreed.
Can we refuse? You know, to save his libertarian ass.
When North Korea invades? Yes.
They tried this already in BioShock. It ended in violence, murder and madness. In other words, par for the course for Randian dystopias…
And then they turned Collectivist/Socialist in the sequel. Whodathunkit!?
Also, damn you for beating me to a BioShock reference.
Ah! I never played the sequel. I hear a movie is in the works though.
If you do not know of "Bioshock Infinite", look it up. You will be surprised and amused. I guess.
Apparently Kirsten knows nothing of this "Bioshock" of which you speak.
But I am more than pleased to know other Wonketteers have played this wonderful game.
Seriously though, if this "island" has plasmids, count me in!!!
Needs more bee-shooting left hands.
Dang, you beat me.
WATERWORLD II
More like Open Water
Pirates of the Carribbean.
Escape from Los Angeles II, with Peter Fonda.
Hey, as long as the ending of the story involves them getting eaten by sharks, it's all good…
Oh goody! More flotsam (jetsam?) for the Great Pacific Garbage Patch.
Flotsam for the jetsam setters.
That's one funny looking dog.
Beat me to it.
Sounds like this…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biosphere_2
…only wasting billions, instead of millions.
That's the first thing I thought of, too, since it's right up the road from where I live. As the Wiki notes, lack of oxygen and inadequate food supplies caused a lot of problems, but the major reason the project failed was because of "management disputes." Around here you also here lots of rumors that romantic escapades ran rampant in the biosphere. Apparently lack of oxygen does not diminish desire. Food, sex, who's-in-charge? Gee, I can't imagine those issues bothering a bunch of Paultards.
Biodome II? Needz moar Pauly Shore. Buuuuuuuuuudy.
We used to go on school field trips there, where junior high girls would ask the important questions like, "What do you do about tampons?"
Needz moar Facebook stalking.
What, Dubai isn't good enough for them?
Too many Muslins.
With a tip of the hat to Dizzy Dean, sink, sank, sunk.
Dubai sounds a lot like Dubya.
And Republicans are all allergic to Dubya now, ha ha ha…
Give me a C; give me an O; give me a pair of Rs; give me another O; give me an S; give me and I; give me a third O; give me an N…
What's that spell CORROSION,
What's that spell CORROSION,
What's that spell CORROSION !!!!!
needs moar aluminum anodes…
/ makes note to have broker check on aluminum futures
Silly injinear. The invisible hand protects metal from corrosion not this stupid skienze about redox reactions.
"Silly
injinearphilosophy major."//fixed
They can sink AND swim according to the free market!
Heh. You said "anodes."
You have a dirty mind… I think.
Aluminum, hell. That's what The Poors are for.
Oh you engineers, you sound like my father when I was trying to build a shark cage made out of plywood in my basement.
They will require a comprehensive electro-migration policy, to keep out the illegal anions.
COMPLETE THE DANGED CATHODIC CELL!
Why doesn't he just try to make a go of it on that big floating island of garbage?
The Great Pacific Garbage Patch? I've heard it's more like a region that has more junk than usual, not some solid thing you can spot on Google Maps.
Still, I can see the employment opportunities in collecting all that stuff to make said floating island. Free Market™ at work!
Is Somalia not good enough for them?
too black,
and too close to Kenya
It better be, since that's where the raiding crews will eventually offload them.
Yeah, Rick Perry wants to make the federal gum'mint as small of an intrusion on your life, as possible.
Seems like Somalia with no functional gum'mint would be a Teabagger's Paradise, since you can't get any smaller intrusion than nothing, right?
Gotta be an island. Just no way around that fact.
On second thought, an L. Ron Hubbard "international cruise ship" might work.
In a yellow submarine … yellow submarine … yellow submarine
Yeah, this "Seasteading Institute" sounds like "Sea Org" or one of the other Scientology fronts.
Illuminatus!
Jiminy Crickets, can SF please stay out of the news for stupid shit for just one freaking day??
Try living in AZ…
Or Texas.
Can't we just set them adrift on a sheet of ice?
With a hungry polar bear…
I'm rarely hungry enough to eat Randians.
Like Bohemian Grove, but with an international waters-wide moat!
And women!
I thought the lack of women was the attraction of Bohemian Grove. They could all openly express their desire to bone the Ronald Reagan of the hour — with lust in their hearts if not in fact.
LOL Oh please God do it!
get your eyepatchs and blunderbusses ready Wonketeers, a pirating we will go.
Stand and deliver!
15 minutes after they and their gold get there, we'll be ready to roll Captain. Standard shares for all able bodied pirates I assume.
Hold, mate. I be curious as to how long these featherheads can last by their own selves. I say we save our grapeshot and pick apart the ruins after they've had their own self-destructive fun.
No shit. God knows a gold-filled pedo-raft shouldn't be that hard to sink and subsequently salvage.
So will we be doing the "Argh! Blood and treasure" bit, the Somali variation, Viking Raiding per the Society of Creative Anachronism rules, or modern, GPS using South American drug cartel style piracy? We got to get together on this or our outfits and weapons are gonna clash?
Don't go the SCA route. The saltwater will screw up your chain mail and mace.
Well, we'll vote like we used to in Murica. But blood red and gold will wind up being our colors in the end anyway.
Just make sure everyone signs the Articles of Agreement. Most pirate ship were primitive democracies with payment for injuries or death.
And fair shares based on seniority/risk taken, as well as opportunities for women that didn't involve cleaning, cooking or popping out rugrats.
i have many pirate flags for our vessel.
Outstanding. I hope they are very tasteless and menacing but do not clash with our over all homicidal pirate color scheme.
Of course they won't, what am I saying! Thank you very much
To make everyone feel at home, the living quarters will be prefect replicas of a suburban basement.
With blacklight Ronald Reagan posters, of course….
Needs moar Lord of the Flies.
Who plays "Piggy"?
"All of 'em, nounverb!"
Or, possibly, just flies.
Given that it's a big ol' (theoretical) pile of crap, the flies are a given.
Can't get anything past these damn Wonketteerz.
Off Sausalito for years was "Forbes Island" – a semi-derelict floating object that attempted the same thing. Granted, on a smaller scale.
I believe it is now tied up off Pier 39 and is a restaurant dining room.
Yep, it's still there off Pier 39, a semi-derelict floating restaurant.
This is great! Everyone with the slightest desire to be on this island should be given a free ticket to get there. One way. For-fucking-ever.
Can we cut off internet after they're all there?
Sims: Cannibal Island
I thought that rendering looked more like something from Second Life, but hey. Same thing with more furries, I guess.
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and gluglugluglug!!
sometimes I love hurricanes. this is one of those times.
I have no idea how something like this could work, but if it involves putting libertarians someplace where they can't bother us, I'm all for it.
Sounds like a gated community, with a really shitty commute.
No mention of the fact that they'll be entirely reliant on normal humans for all of their food and supplies? And where do you find a billionaire libertardian willing to mow the lawn and take out the garbage? Nowhere, of course, so they'll have a Mess-o'-Messicans on board as well – easy enough, with no immigration laws, but with no minimum wage laws either, it could get unpleasant (for the Messicans.)
Mow the lawn? You're on an ocean! There's no grass.
Take out the garbage? You're on an ocean! Just toss it out the window.
Until and unless they all leap up with cries of "La Raza!" and cut the throats of each and every motherfucker on the island. Wut? The literature of colonialism is rife with examples of serfs who have been pushed beyond endurance, only to respond with a Final Solution.
OT but look at this fuckhead. Go Michigan, doesn't Negropolis live there, he could go and kick his bony ass.
http://www.lenconnect.com/features/x919528195/Wal...
"“You’ve got to hang tough even if it’s your budget area of concern that gets cut,” he said."
Coff, social security, coff
Ai fink he's about to find out that his constituents, like most other Americans, only feel the pain when it's their foot in the trap — and then they don't like it one little bit. Think he's a one-term wonder?
Ha, I'm from Michigan as well, and I know this fucker. He was in Congress once, lost an election to a fairly moderate Dem, Mark Schauer, and then won again in the last election. His background is that he's a preacher-man (naturally). His district has been redrawn by Republicans to drop Battle Creek, a traditionally democratic voting bloc, and add it to Grand Rapids' district, a larger and super-conservative area. So, basically, his district just got a shit-ton easier for him to win again.
For more laffs, search around for the news item from his failed 2008 run when, at his election party headquarters, two Walberg supporters watching a big-screen TV showing national election coverage, openly wished someone would kill Obama as he took the stage in victory. They said this in front of an entire group of local reporters!
It's amazing that certain folks still can't believe the President is a U.S. a citizen. Fucking birther pinheads.
It really is astonishing. God, I loathe them.
Gawd, the comments! It only took 2 for them to go full birther.
I can't believe those people are still saying all that crap, they can't bear to let it go, can they?
O.M.G. He actually said that. He's said some stupid, offensive shit before, but this is up there near the top.
More on Walberg…
In his 2006 run, his campaign volunteer coordinator pled guilty to child abuse. He ended up winning that year, but only by 4 points against an organic farming single mom who barely ran a campaign against him (or for herself for that matter). This is a classic swing district where absentee voters usually decide who wins. He lost in 2008 by a little less than 3%, and then came back to win in 2010 with a little less than 5 points.
Hey Peter, Mars will meet you and your good friend's Ayn Randian needs….
I was gonna suggest the moon, but it's already got a USAmerican flag on it somewhere.
That's it, I gonna be pirate.
O/T does anyone know where I can buy a torpedo?
Libertarian Island?
Oh wait, you probably want one that would have a high probability of functioning correctly.
isn't there is already Cayman Island for tax haven ?
This is what I thought the 'island' was being built for when I saw the headline yesterday. Without a trace of irony. My cynicism has soared to new heights lately.
Personally, I can't wait for the mass drowning of our Galtian Overlords.
What with the tons of gold they'll lug along with them, the whole thing is bound to sink like the proverbial stone.
Perhaps, in the building of the thing, the richies will finally (accidentally) end up creating some jobs for once, so I'm all in favor of the exercise.
This is going to be a cross between L. Bob Rife and Lord of the Flies.
Ever played the video game "BioShock?" Yep, it's all genetic mutants and Ayn Rand masturbation from here on out.
Beat me to the Snow Crash reference.
Libertarian
Definition of LIBERTARIAN
1: a A Republican with the intellect of a 12 year old.
b Someone who cannot understand the ramifications of their choices.
c: A one-issue voter whose one issue is legalizing dope.
d: Someone who is into wife-swapping, also to.
d(1): If he were ever to have a wife.
d(2): Which of course he won't.
"A Republican with money, health insurance, and the intellect of a 12 year old."
Fixed.
Will it be big enough to house the richest 2%? And can the teatards go along as servants?
Those teatards better take a copy of The Communist Manifesto with them because I don't think Libertarian Paradise includes a public library.
Or Sanitation. Or Police. Or Fire protection. Or Food inspection. Or Fraud prevention.
Good fucking luck, dumbasses….
Oh, this is going to be exciting! Just like something out of Snow Crash! I can hardly wait until it gets hit by a typhoon and the brave individualists refuse any help, thus improving the gene pool.
I read this story earlier and Snow Crash was the first thing that came to my mind. Didn't they create their floating utopia out of shipping containers?
As I recall, it was a huge flotilla of ships all lashed together, including a decommissioned aircraft carrier. (Checks Wikipedia: Yes. Enterprise, to be precise.)
Mostly I loved the Mach-1 cyberdog. And the guy with the court-ordered "Poor Impulse Control" tattoo on his forehead.
Needz moar nuclear-powerd rail gun
On the plus side they won't need boats to transport the teabaggers there since they'll just float.
It's like Dungeons and Dragons but without the coolness factor.
Dungeons and Dragons for Angry, Fearful People Who Are Very Confident They are Right About Everything…
This points to the well-worn chestnut that I can't quote verbatim, but it has something to do with Tolkein, Ayn Rand, and orcs.
I'm guessing "no welfare, looser building codes " is code for no black people.
I thought that "Libertarian" meant "no colored folks" myself.
Nonsense. They're going to need pontoons, aren't they?
"Looser building codes"
Sweet Jesus on a stick!
Wouldn't you rather live somewhere where they have Winner building codes?
With my home floating on this thing, I'd certainly prefer tighter building codes.
"Ayn Rand’s paradisiac vision of total lawlessness …"
for that welfare queen, its more like parasitic dream
Coincidentally I just saw that movie The Island with Scarlett Johannsen while fighting jet lag at 2 in the morning last weekend. That island didn't turn out to be so great, either.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0399201/
Do Not Want. Scarlett is gorgeous, but the movie isn't that great.
A libertarian paradise in the middle of the ocean? Now where have I seen this before and why am I so sure it'll end with everyone being horrible mutilated and a guy in a deep sea diving suit with a drill for a hand hanging around a little girl?
Now WOULD YOU KINDLY click the like button on the corner of this comment, please?
K
Damned socialist, trying to take my hard-won clicks as welfare.
Man, everyone's Bioshock references are funnier than mine. I'm gonna go shoot up some Creativity plasmids.
You may recall that this didn't work out so well for Dr. No.
This is like Fantasy Island, but for Paultards.
"The blimp, boss! The blimp!"
Ricardo Perez can play the role of Mr. Roarke, but who is gonna play Tattoo?
Breitbart?
hahahaha
Viagra and third-world children for everyone!!!!
No, Julio. You can't have any liquor. That liver will be mine as soon as you're full grown.
Cruel. But funny.
Where have I seen that scenario before?
"But for Paultards"
HE IZ A CERIUS CANDYDATE.
Why is the lamestream media ignoring him?
It's gonna be like that episode where the guy had the recurring nightmare of being in a burning house with all his toys trying to kill him.
oh man, this could rid us of these jackasses forever. where can i donate?!?
OK Boy and Lesbian Wonketteers, you are all going to want to fuck this woman, one of my own kind.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifameric...
"But then, of course, it's hard to answer intelligently when one talks out of one's arse and the brain is therefore so far away from one's speaking orifice"
I need a cigarette now.
jeeze, Lizzie, you could have warned me that the woman i was going to want to fuck was not the one I was going to see coming at me, zombie style, for my brains. I think I sprained my boner on that one.
Wow, she even takes on the frothers in the comments. WANT.
stop distracting me. i'm trying to make dinner.
and i'm not even a lesbian.
I am.
I will be one as well, just for you.
Everyday is Christmas with you, love.
well i didn't say i couldn't be.
But for her, you could be, right?
I'd marry her properly, buy her a place in Golders Green, and make lots of clever babies with her. Have her number?
Yeah for the nice Jewish boy, she is a nice Jewish girl.
This is good news for imissopus.
Excellent. She is such a fun writer , chock full of snark and she looks about 12.
That photograph is absolutely precious. It reminds me of the rhesus monkeys at the San Antonio zoo sling shit.
Times like this I thank Gawd I suffer from Premature ejaculation.
Oh I'm sorry, it's not the Wall-Eyed Trollope you should want to fuck, it's the author of the piece, the lovely Hadley Freeman.
I felt a tingle, but wasn't sure if it was just your usual Sex Magick.
Well, that too…natch!
Yeah, great article!
That picture of Michele. Nightmares are what I'll have.
I think I am in love.
More proof that Lizzie has excellent taste!
Which is not the same as tasting excellent. But I am unable to speak to that one way or the other.
All this just to avoid the unpleasant fact that there are a lot of black folks in Somalia.
Who are, ironically, if you believe genetic studies, are actually less black than they are white.
It's what I've always wanted- a place where, if half my family dies because the fish they ate wasn't stored at some government-mandated temperature, I can just take all my guns and kill everyone who was involved in the fishing industry! Free at last!
I've argued like that with a Paulian. Without regulations, what happens when the gold mining operation poisons your water table with cyanide runoff and kills your kid? No shit, the answer was "I'd find the owner and shoot him". That's yer libertarian paradise right there.
Slightly OT, I was perusing that wretched hive of scum and villainy that is the Yahoo comments section after watching a roundup of that pisspoor Iowa shitfest. Note that Y! comments is the most hateful, racist, bigoted comments section I've found. Turns out they're all fucking Ron Paul fans!! Who'da thunk it?
I will bet 100 gold doubloons that Quickdraw does not have the sakk to shoot anyone.
And libertopianism isn't just racist, it's eliminationist. Simply put, anyone who does not conform to their view of the world- or does not want to conform to their view of the world- is simply not fit to pollute the lives of these superheroes, hence "let's move to a shitty Texas exurb/the moon/an oil platform in international waters."
First off, that's always my argument with libertarian(ism)s. Second, you used the phrase "wretched hive of scum and villainy" and it made my afternoon. If I wasn't following you already, I'd follow you again.
PS Shooting the owner? Doesn't unpoison your kid.
That's the part I don't get. So, you shoot the guy who killed your kid. Now there's two dead people. Then, maybe his wife shoots you? Or his brother? Or business partner? Where does it end? When Peter Thiel is the last living Paultard on the island?
or he is lying in wait to shoot anyone that comes on his property, as you do.
Jezus, you're a hero, daring to wade in that filth. It's a fecking cesspool over there, and even the thought of unending lulz isn't enough to lure me in except for the very occasional drunken sneak peek.
Paultards, huh. Who'd'a thunk it indeed.
But what about us billionaire libertarians who get seasick?
The Invisible Hand will feed you some Invisible Dramamine.
And who's going to come and rescue these idiots when a storm or fire comes?
Hopefully, no one.
Jeebis
The Invisible Hand of the Free Market.
That's where I show up with a rescue craft, and call out through a bullhorn, "What's it worth to you?"
"Not I," said the lark.
Let's just put it to the vote. Since they're in the minor minority of a tiny minority, we can all vote not to spend our tax dollars rescuing them. I'm sure they'd applaud our Libertarian stance on the issue.
Comfort, Safety, Cost…. This is how New Jersey was invented, and look what happened to it!
We still think there's plenty of room for an Assholatopolis out in West Texas…
I want to treat it like the Vikings did Lindisfarne (men with swords vs priests in cassocks turns out not to be a fair fight). But part of me wans to see the epic disputes over things like dealing with the trash and how quickly a dead zone develops in their crappy little area with no available food or plant life. Gonna be awesome!
yeah but they are all rich so there will be jerbs created. jerbs and jerbs of jerbs.
They would be totally dependant on their employees, like the Eloi on the Morlocks.
Indonesian/Philippine pirates would do a job on it, too. Check out _Flashman's Lady_ or _The Swish of the Kris_.
What a paradise this will be. Of course they'll have to have servants since most billionaires couldn't feed or clothe themselves, and those servants are less and less likely to put up with shit since the Saudis executed that Indonesian maid, which caused a big furor, which means they'll have to have a treaty with whatever country they import their working class from, and a living wage, decent food, ability to come and go as they please, etc. etc.
And they'll be able to trade with whoever they want without onerous job-killing regulations — so the Chinese will have someplace to dump their lead-filled toys and weak steel and toxin-filled drywall. Yeah, this should be fun.
They said specifically NO MINIMUM WAGE. Pfff. You liberals just don't get it.
And they won't live long enough to buy their children toxic toys, because they will have resorted to cannibalism already.
Right. Cause the last thing you want is a lot of pesky building codes on your barge floating in the middle of the ocean. Just slap it together with duct tape and some old twine, it'll be fine.
This guy must have never seen any of the 70's disaster films. They ALL start out with some rich prick cutting corners and end with everybody dead. Bon voyage, libertardians!
"They ALL start out with some rich prick cutting corners and end with everybody dead."
Sounds like pretty much every James Bond film, actually.
When can we send all the Paultartds there? It won't be soon enough.
It'll be like the Berlin Airlift, but with blimps.
Because it is close to the water, it will be well-stocked with nubiles, goes the chain of thought of a developmentally-arrested tech billionaire.
I am so down. Since they don't believe in laws, I will happily break in and take their stuff. Hooray for me. Since they are sovereign, I will assume the US would not recognize any extradition treaty. Build that fucker now.
Woman, to JFK at a press conference: "Sir, when will we send a man to the moon?"
JFK: "Whenever Senator Goldwater wants to go."
Snark aside, I can see only one outcome for this…if it ever gets off the ground. Some hyper-tardian is going to do something really heinous (maybe a member of NAMBLA will sign on), and it will be so distasteful for the other residents that within a year this thing will make a Homeowner's Association look like and egalitarian democracy.
I'm guessing given that these types are rife with undiagnosed mental illnesses, that it's more likely someone will shoot up the place out of stress before too long.
OT, from a pal in Portland
Did you know that, the words "race car" spelled backwards still spells "race car"?
And that "eat" is the only word that, if you take the first letter and move it to the last, spells its own past tense, "ate"?
And if you rearrange the letters in "Tea Party Republicans," and add just a few more letters, it spells: "Shut the fuck up you free-loading, progress-blocking, benefit-grabbing, resource-sucking, violent hypocrites, and deal with the fact that you nearly wrecked the country under Bush and that our president is black, so get over it."
BRAVO!!!
so want to up 'p' you more than once.
I only have one p to give.
Wow! Your spelling skills are legendary, man. Legendary.
It'll be fun at least watching the Coast Guard helicopters pick their fat butts out of the water when the whole thing collapses.
No way, I will go all Steve Erwin Whale warrior on them coast guard bastards if they try to take any of the endangered white whales out of international waters.
In international waters their reliance on the Coast Guard is a bit optomistic. Since they lurve their big ticket DOD programs the Coast Guard is not a budget priority, If they are far enough out to be out of US jurisdiction reach, I don't think anyone will be too fast showing up for a mayday for a bunch of tax cheating weasels. And since this brilliant stroke of naval archetecture will no doubt be designed, built and maintained by the Chinese or some other asian nation it will have the same rigourous quality inspection and maintenance regime that the manufacturers there are known for. I just hope there's a full house when the fucker goes down and that the water is good and cold. Titanic II Libertardian Boogaloo.
For some reason, that rant has me all tappin' my toes and feelin' like dancin'.
What's the Randian version of "women and children first?"
Outa te way, bitches!
And, completely off topic, I just made 100 "P". Yay! Champagne!
Hope that was screw-top champagne…
Domestic screw-top champagne
Have you been shown the handshake for the "Century Club" yet? We'll send you the blazer and have the brass tag applied to your chair shortly. The key to the club is in the mail, the bar is open, enjoy!
You'll also receive an ID card that swipes you into the Wonk100 lounges at all the major airports.
Doktor Zoom has a special video that he likes to share with recent inductees. I'm surprised he missed this one.
I know the perfect place off the Horn of Africa they can build this!They can call it "Rapture!" (yes, I'm a video game nerd)Where are the servants' quarters? Or, being a sovereign nation, will they be serfs/slaves outright?
So Thiel blew a million+ bucks on this stupidity because coming out of the closet is so terribly expensive.
Some years ago a job creator in Denver cooked up a business he called "Swiss Vaults," which was a storefront full of safety deposit boxes of varying sizes where you could "depsoit" stuff without answering any intrusive questions from the bank like, "What is your SSAN?" and "Is this actually your property?"
The burglars waited about two months for the place to fill up before they cleaned it out. It occurs to me just now that it might have been the proprietor who robbed the place — it's not like any of the depositors stashing drugs or off-the-books cash would be going to go to the police. As Berkeley Bear says above, a similar outcome surely awaits this floating Galtville, should it ever get built and populated.
"As Berkeley Bear says above, a similar outcome surely awaits this floating Galtville, should it ever get built and populated."
PT Barnum was an optimist.
There's a potential Rush Limbaugh listener born every second…
In one of Trevanian's books, the main character stores a body in a large swiss safe deposit box.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
(gasps for air, holds sides, etc…)
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Libertards need to start with some simpler projects, like appearing to stab Teller through the heart with a sword.
Would that be Paul and not Edward the fascist physicist? Edward supposedly died in 2003, but in his case it would be good to make sure.
I assume you know the correct answer, but are just trying to pull birds with your erudition.
…and people want to protect and shelter the ultrarich? for what purpose?? make them pay their fair share …
What could possibly go wrong?!
"Here, hold this beer…"
Why does my brain translate that to "I am going to need you to call an ambulance in a moment"?
In Libertardistan, of course, the amublance driver arrives with a credit card scanner.
Oh, all of them, Katie.
Waterworld was prologue.
So, in this version, I know where Thurston and Lovie fit in, and I guess the Professor is Thiel, but what happens to the Skipper and Gilligan? And will this finally settle the whole "Ginger vs. Mary Ann" controversy?
In the sense that neither would ever set foot in this place, yes.
Why are they using the word "community"? This is a Soros plot!!
Yeah, community sounds very close to communism.
Why should this be built based on co-operation?
Wouldn't Free Market Competition, where one rugged individualist Teatard fights another Teatard for dominion be the Visionary Model for this Dystopia???
Dominion? Nice callback.
What I want to know is whether he wants the contractor who builds this floating Richie Rich island to be licensed? Because how ironic would it be if this libertarian paradise island sank cause it wasn't up to code?
Ironic. Or funny as hell. Your pick.
Manufactured in China by slave labor and then assembled in place by scab, non-union labor employed by a Rich Republican, who of course, cuts corners and causes the platform to explode, like a Haliburton drilling platform…
I prefer my irony to be either literary or hipster, and not alanis-esque, so I will go with funny as hell.
If a librul is a libtard, what is a libertarian? A liberlibtard? libtaritard? This shit keeps me awake at night.
EDIT:
WAIT! I got it – SEATARD
Seatard is already copyrighted by Scientology, Inc. They are preparing a lawsuit as we speak.
Libertardian.
♪♫ Ayn Rands in the stream, that is what we are… ♪♫
jesus, where you been? I was waiting for you to come out with an article from Pyongyang about the free and fair elections up there, or something.
I've been stuck on BAR
Called it.
They're all totally bugfuck crazy, aren't they? Hope all the teabaggers go to this new nation. They can hoveroud their bay, if they can figure out how to get in. More munnies and wheels for us, yay.
I am beginning to feel this task is beyond even my own ingenuity …
buh bye.
don't let the door hit you in the ass.
Cue giant nuclear fueled monster in 3… 2… 1…
The more I think of this, the more I get a Boy and His Dog going down into the bunker feel.
So all the richest criminals on earth are going to hang out on a below-code oil rig with all the weapons their sociopathic hearts could possibly desire?
No. Don't go. Please. We're begging you.
You know you don't mean a word of it.
Atlas Sagged?
Atlas Sank?
She did that quite a while ago, but the alimony paid for a boob job and lift.
Atlas glugged.
Nothing sounds like a better idea on an oil platform than loose building codes.
I don't understand why they'd spend all this money if all they wanted is an island of their own, off the coast of San Francisco. There's already one there, and it's pretty much the perfect place for a lot of these guys.
Yes, but I think it belongs to USAmerica, and they don't plan to sell it.
Pretty sure the US American Govmint wouldn't mind letting them stay rent-free, just as long as the libtardarians don't mind being Parasites living off the government dole*.
*NB that that last phrase is intended to be ironic, because nobody who's amassed that much money can honestly claim not to have taken handouts from the feds to get it, delusional beliefs notwithstanding.
Fuckin' A, let's build it, send all the wingnuts out to live on it, and then have the U.S. Navy blockade it so none of 'em can ever leave it again.
So, slightly snarkless historical note. This is not the first time, nor will it be the last, that libertarian dumbfucks try to make their own country/fraudtoplis in some remote patch of ocean somewhere. They never really pan out, because it ends up actually settling a place and forming a nation involves some level of cooperation and communal goodwill, which sociopaths lack.
The most amusing episode took place back between January and September of 1972, when some American libertarians tried to form a nation on a set of artificial islands built on the not-officially-claimed-by-anybody Minerva Reefs in the South Pacific.
Anyway, the reason the "Republic of Minerva" only lasted for 8 months is that nearby Tonga asserted a claim to the territory in February, and sent an expeditionary force to annex it in June. They met with no resistance, because no government meant no military, and none of the California real estate millionaires involved in the project were willing to defend the territory themselves, go figure. Guess government is good for something after all.
A related group tried to reclaim the Minerva reefs in 1982, and lasted all of three weeks before the Tonga military -a fabled fighting force of unparalleled might- noticed and drove them off again.
That's entertaining! Who would like to make a movie of this farce? Perhaps Werner Herzog?
Absolutely perfect choice.
Outside scene. A middle-aged rotund and pasty-white man sporting a bad toupee is talking
Opie: Well, here on Galt's Island we're living the perfect libertarian dream. It all started with an idea I had while cleaning my SUV at home in Newport Beach. What would happen if I invest my money and my …
Voiceover of Werner Herzog
To cut a long story short, zese ideologically varped men haff moved to an island owned by ze Tongans. Zey produce nothing and spend ze day boasting about zeir jet-skis. However, ze Tongans have other ideas on sovereignty.
Shot of a launch full of angry Tongans with semi-automatic rifles beaching. The Tongans pile out, causing the flabby would-be plutocrats to waddle-scatter in all directions screaming like little girls
Wanna cooperate on the screenplay?
And then later, Herzog directs a documentary on the horribly failed Seasteading Institute Adventure. As the surviving relatives of the pioneering libertarian billionaires sit around a table with him, he watches the final, doomed footage of the oligarchs being attacked and eaten by sharks, on his iPad. "Oh, zis is terrible. You must never, ever vatch this footage. Trust me, it's really, really bad. Ach."
I don't know about nowadays, but in the old days, Tongans were cannibals warriors dressed in full-body tatoos.
Cool, Lord of the Flies 2.
Can't wait.
Except, no adult to the rescue this time……K'ay!
A new life awaits you in the Off-world colonies! A chance to begin again in a golden land of opportunity and adventure!
Bravo.
It's — it's a COOKBOOK!!!
Does Thiel dream of electric sheep?
Only RAMs. He makes the sheep nervous.
>
Hey, have these fucking idiots ever heard of ISLANDS????????
This is like moving The Island before they even start building the Dharma Initiative.
I suggest they call it the People's Republic of Sealabia. Just as long as they don't have a Pod Six. I hate Pod Six. Total suck pod.
Escape from the Seasteading Institute, starring Snake Pliskin.
Oh sure, I sent this in months ago, pointing out that Patri Friedman, son of Milton Friedman, was involved in this clusterfuck. But do I get credit? NO! Once again, no love for the slug . . .
the fuck.
PATRI????
His parents felt "Fucking Douchenozzle" would be too ethnic.
This is going to be a Patri dish of Randiness. Ick.
That deserves an upfist all the way to the elbow.
Needz moar Dr. Moreau. Or build another fucking Space Station. I like that idea, now that we as a nation no longer fly shuttle missions and therefore couldn't respond to any form of emergency on board. You think bulletholes wreak havoc on the hulls of water-bound craft? Hah, ain't seen nothing yet.
Fine. They buy an island, I buy a Predator Drone. Assholes.
"Family Fun".
Had they ever met MY family they wouldn't utter such nonsense.
Finally a reason to get behind a tax hike on the poor. Who's going to complain about kicking in a little extra to help these guys out? We can subsidize their venture…on one condition: The price for Coast Guard rescue is one million, zillion dollars per person. They'll pay it, too. When all their shit rusts out and they're sick of eating rotten, poisonous food, they'll sell their very souls for one more chance to drive a safe vehicle on a public road to a restaurant inspected by an overbearing health department.
Details says the experiment would be "a kind of floating petri dish for implementing policies that libertarians, stymied by indifference at the voting booths, have been unable to advance: no welfare, looser building codes, no minimum wage, and few restrictions on weapons."
Sounds like heaven on earth (or in the ocean)–all the buildings collapse and everyone shoots everyone else.
Kill the pig! Cut his throat! Kill the pig! Bash him in!
Looks like a great business opportunity for pirates and kidnappers!
I didn't think Waterworld could get any worse. Surprise!
Waterworld 2: Electric Buggaloo.
Looser building codes, eh? Why the better to sink beneath the waves with, my dear.
I believe versions of this scam have been around for a long time. Exiledonline made fun of it a few years ago. Even Science Fiction writer (and Socialist Workers' Party member) China Mieville has written about it.
http://exiledonline.com/escape-from-america-the-s...
"Floating Utopias", in Davis, Mike and Daniel Bertrand Monk (eds.), Evil Paradises: Dreamworld of Neoliberalism (New York: New Press), 2007.
Deepwater Horizon in 5, 4, 3, 2….
Too soon?
Actually, I'm all all for this, however, it must be 201 miles off of the US coast, so that when something goes horribly wrong, don't count on us to help, because you are out of US coastal territory, and besides, that would make you "wards of the state". I do have a name for this "Randian Paridise" though, I think it should be JesusChristWhatTheFuckTardLand. Ron & Rand Paul are cordially invited. What could possibly go wrong?
A man-made island of oil platforms in international waters of the Pacific plus "looser building codes".
Wow, what could possible go wrong?
Hmm, a watery paradise built on Randian principles? Let's hope that they have better luck than these guys: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bioshock
Given how all they do is argue with each other on their wiki, I'm thinking it's EXACTLY what's going to happen once they've built it. Only above sea level with much less Art Deco.
Yeah, nothing like This :http://www.mynews3.com/content/news/local/story/City-Center-proposes-demolishing-Harmon-tower/fwKdgpytg0CtLwBIbwAPLg.cspx?rss=3269
could happen, Right?
That roaring, gushing sound you hear? It's the collective salivation of 1.3 million Somalian pirates upon hearing of this plan.
What's up with these timid modern day billionaires? Used ta be they'd just go take an already existing island and set up their day one lawless utopias. Bonus: rapetastic underage native girls.
Apparently, those brown island people have figured that shit out, and now have well-armed, un, militias: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonga_Defence_Servic...
Brown-skin girl, stay home and mind baby
I'm goin away on a sailing boat and if I don't come back
Stay home and mind baby
"no minimum wage and few restrictions on weapons" . . . Slave wars!
Hmmm. And this wouldn't be attractive to organized criminal assault at all, would it. Lets's see, wild-eyed Somali Pirate-types vs. Rent-a-Cops. I wonder who would win?
If I was a drug lord of some sort or a terrorist organization in need of cash this would move to the top of my to-do list as soon as it was occupied.
Victims sans sympathy. Open fucking season.
For what it is worth Fark has picked this up too and there are a few libertarian supporters though it is getting roundly mocked. No one is proposing piracy yet, kids these days. http://www.fark.com/comments/6485787
Wait, Peter Theil's the same "libertarian" who bemoans the fact that women were granted the franchise, isn't he?
I've officially resolved: far-right anarchism (i.e, "libertarianism") is innately anti-democratic, not by ignorance borne out of a myopic fixation on a first-order definition of "liberty" that ignores the fact that, for example, driving laws may reduce our "liberty" on the road, but increases the amount of freedom we have in terms of travelling safely and promptly from point A to point B, as I previously suspected.
Rather, far-right anarchism is innately anti-democratic by design. De facto neo-feudal rule by moneyed elites is, in fact, the desired end state -and ultimate of all policy priorities- of most supporters of this ideology, and all the fluff about "liberty" is just to attract True Believers (i.e, saps) to the cause. It's the only way I can square away the numerous places where their actual held positions obviously and blatantly contradict the clear implications of the ideology.
Actually, I wish them well. Not because I think any of their ideas are good ideas, but the basic concept of floating, artificial states as petri dishes for social experimentation is sort of cool, and I would love to see a liberal/progressive version of the same thing.
Replace "looser building codes" with state of the art green technology, "no welfare" with a couple of sustainable industries, such as tourism, fishing and or fish/farming, "no minimum wage" with buy-in co-ownership, "no restrictions on weapons" with pretty much total restriction on weapons, add in legal marijuana (there's another industry) and you might just have a winning plan.
Come on, Prommie, I know you've thought of the same thing.
"Safety – By having a single tough structure to eliminate waves, we keep the whole community safe. However, this means that if it fails, everyone may be screwed."
This is a Libertarian principle???? I think they got their theories mixed up.
"kind of a floating petri dish," or kind of a floating plasticware container that's been in the back of the fridge for about four months.
Nothing but a Mantropolis with an inexhaustible supply of life-sized Ayn Rand blowup dolls. As a result, it'll be a short-lived experiment.
Uh there is a paradise for "True" libertarians and its' called Somalia. No pesky big government telling you what to do there.
Sounds like an idea to me…….with one addition. Once they are settled on this island they will never be allowed back in this country!!
This is great they can live out there with the x-men and stay safe from the hideous vampires (gays) plaguing san francisco.
I swear, the fine ladies of Wonkette take care of all one's virtual sexual hentai needs.
OK, I'm nine sheets to the wind here and can't decide if "as I do" refers to my penchant (supposedly) for trotting onto his property, or my penchant for lying in wait to shoot anyone that might trespass on *my* property. Is there no "sober" button for teh comments?
We could do it!
1. Write screenplay
2. ????
3. Profit!
"it vas ze inevitable final act in zis jamboree of clownz"
just in case you've never seen it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7T8y5EPv6Y8
Hahaha I meant that in the British sense of “as you do,” as in “as one does.” …waiting to kill anyone that comes on their land, of course.Sent from my iPhone
Just for the record, let me note that virtual watching leaves something to be desired.
She'd better steer clear of Woody Allen.
I still think a "sober translation" button would be a
HUGEplus.Comments on this entry are closed.