Paul Revere’s Wikipedia Page : bored wingnuts : : Amazon product pages : bored libtards. Our crack network of tipsters indicates that Marcus Bachmann’s Amazon products page is mysteriously currently full of whips and naked pictures of Levi Johnston IF THAT WAS NOT THE CASE SINCE ALWAYS because probably it could have been, we don’t know, no one was paying any attention to “Amazon product pages” until the Internet noticed that Christine O’Donnell’s page was full of vibrators and spell books. So TA-DA it is a very slow news week, and our Wonkette “special investigation” shows that Marcus Bachmann, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin’s “Amazon product pages” are now your one stop shop for every gold-plated set of electrified XXXL anal probes on the market. The Fox News page also includes something called “Hitler’s nipples.” We’ll pretend we never saw that.
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The writing is too small, is that Blow Job book about "how to give" or "how to get"? If the latter, I'ma buy that.
How to get it from Marcus Bachmann. It's a very specialized skill, but not difficult to master.
Worst horror movie ever: They Saved Hitler's Nipples–starring Don Knotts in his screen debut.
Which I gather was done as long-term preparation for his co-starring in "The Day the Clown Cried?"
And Gene Shalit in a cameo as the hospital orderly. So poignant.
What does it mean that my Amazon product page is full of bacon-themed recipe books and DVDs of British sitcoms?
I smell the hand of Baconzgood here…
Tee-Hee
I'm a culture jammer.
It's hard to think of too many complimentary statements that begin with the words "I smell the hand of…"
It smells like pulled pork sandwiches.
Smell the glove!
I didn't need another reason to avoid shopping online at amazon, but thanks!
*espies Baby Jesus Butt Plug*
OH HELL YES. Christmas-present dilemma SOLVED!
I just ordered 4 copies.
Putting the X back in XXXmas or the Reason for the Season?
Atheist talk! I must protect my Xian eyes or akndknckn Fuck it. I can't type worth shit with my eyes closed.
Hitler's nipples? For once I gotta say, No pics or GTFO.
Wait till you see the "Frequently Bought Together" page.
"How to Meet Broads"? What would Marcus Bachmann need that for?
Gift for the wife?
The wife doesn't like broads any more than Marcus does. It's the one thing they have in common.
I think they were looking for "Meat Broads", the book about cross-dressers.
This must be a libtard bomb of Marcus Bachmen's page because one of the products listed is "fake human poop".
http://www.amazon.com/Party-Pooper-Fake-Human-Poo…
Clearly he would not need this as he already wakes up to real human poop every morning.
I can personally recommend Liquid Ass. If you want to clear a room, this is the stuff to get.
Who is gonna tell One-L the news?
~
On the other hand, Rushbo can use the "Best Small Penis Sex Techniques"…
Well, I blew it up (c'mon, how else ya gonna say that?) and it turns out to be "The Little Book of Blowjobs." I think this means you gotta have a little dick for this particular title to be of any service. (Nice usage, "service", don't you think?) Anyway, if this is the case I think Imma gonna have to put myself and the Mrs. down for a copy. Even if she has, occasionally, referred to me as "a giant dick." I believe she was speaking metaphorically, if not outright sarcastically.
The Little ^Bit Naughty Book of Blowjobs is the full title.
Yes, I clicked the link.
Hey…there's even an amazon.com "Click to look inside!" link for it.
Here's the aforementioned Hitler's Nipples. You can thank me later.
I give it an 80, SS. It's got a good beat and it's easy to dance to.
WTF? When I go there, all there is are copies of the film "Tremors" in different formats and "Meditations" by Marcus Auerelius. Did I do something wrong, daddy?
I blame Buddyhead.com & their appropriation of "[the] bomb" as a catch-all for anything cool, or not, on their long-ago Gossip page. I say, instead, "Drop hits, not bombs, Icarus Line!"
I'm not sure what he'd do with Boarding School Slave. Perhaps he just mentally swaps genders while reading it. Not that he would have had any experience this "gender-swapping" business, of course.
I was trying to find something for Glenn Beck on fighting irrelevance, but ran across this instead: Spinoza and the Irrelevance of Biblical Authority, which actually looks interesting. And it'll give me a laugh just imagining him or Bachmann or Perry sitting down to read it.
Seem like some nice gifts to give to you ex-father-inlaw.
HELLO KITTY LIBEL!!!
I sat next to the lead guitarist from Paul Revere and the Raiders on a plane last week.
That's the best news I've heard since Jesus invented the calendar.
He was so nice, I didn't know it was him, he offered that information.
In the '60s they were the house band for the daily afternoon TV show, "Where the Action Is". Every day they would come out dressed in their Revolutionary War uniforms, presaging the teabag movement by four decades.
So that Levi Johnston magazine is still available? Hmmm.
Coming up next on the History Channel … "Hitler's Nipples.."
Hitler's Nipples raced across the Ardennes to grab the Prize of Paris before the French could mount a vaginal counter offensive leaving Europe in a impotent stalemate.
Brilliant work, folks! Absolutely brilliant.
I don't know how on earth I can clicky the links or comment on this post while sitting at work without getting myself into trouble…
So my guess is Santorum's is nothing but lube and butt plugs?
Well during our visit to Wasilla this week we noted that Johnson's Tire Center was advertising Auto
SantorumQuickie Lube. They didn't say if Bristol was a satisfied customer.And probably everything Dan Savage has ever written. A million blessings upon Dan Savage for giving us little-s santorum.
The limpy dick and whale sperm on the Sarah Palin page are inspired choices.
As was "Parenting for Dummies."
I was surprised Rush's page didn't have anything related to easy divorce guides, hearing-aids, or oxycontin.
Really surprised.
Or pedophilia in Third World nations.
I would appreciate it if you would please not say anything ever again that infects my brain with the thought of Marcus Bachmann's sex life. Thank you.
The awesome thing about this is that the copycat gopers will try to do the same thing, but their efforts will be lame and derivative.
Edit: Their NOT there…what the fuck is wrong with me?!
Drugs, obviously. Not enough drugs.
Coming up with this article only proves the Wonkette Staff has way too much time on their hands.
Marcus Bachman finds putting phallic symbols in his face SO distasteful (but he'll do it.)
http://deadspin.com/5830719/future-first-man-marc…
"Hitler's Nipples" ~ Buttplugs (Audio CD) with an Amazon disclaimer "Buttplugs (artist)"… sure….
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