Aren’t there any presidential candidates any more who will bother to stand up for all the corporations in these weary times? Does Mitt Romney have to be the one to do it? Oh fine, he’ll just say it, he’ll say it right now, right here to this crowd of angry people standing in front of him in Iowa: “Corporations are people, my friend.” There, he said it. Now nobody ever forget about their common humanity with corporations. They are one of you! Hold hands and buy matching t-shirts! What? Uh-oh, Mittens did not entirely win over the crowd with this statement! Who even knows why? Hecklers shouted back, “No, they’re not!” To which Mittens cackles at them incredulously and says, “Of course they are. Everything corporations earn ultimately earn goes to people.” Why does Mittens always have to explain economics to everyone? Let’s watch him try:
Here is warblogger Dave Weigel’s video of Mitt shouting down the masses with some free business lessons:
Good job, Mitt. Always standing up for the big guy, even when the going gets tough. [Dave Weigel]
{ 321 comments }
Of the corporation by the corporation for the corporation
(FIXED)
Shame that's the viewpoint not only of Mittens but of nearly every politician on both sides.
Aside: so I signed up like a week ago, might I some day actually be allowed to post? Moderator approval required, etc. Is understandable but it feels sort of cliqueish to let people sign up but never join the conversation.
Life begins at incorporation!
Give me limited liability or give me death (aka bankruptcy protection)!
…are endowed by their bylaws with certain inalienable rights.
When in the course of quarterly profits…
If corporations are people, then we're re-defining "people" as animals who have no soul. And animals without souls don't care about Rick "Goodhair" Perry's Jeebus-mongering claptrap.
I'm just waiting for the debate where Rick Santorum states that the Ghayez and their sex is just like having sex with a corporation. That should provide at least a half-hour of entertainment.
Well, corporations care about it to the extent they can extract money from it. So basically, they care about it as much as any religious institution.
Ain't that the truth.
So my dog can't go to heaven, but Exxon can?
And at least your dog never shit on a billion people or more.
Well if they are people, we can throw those people in jail when their products murder somebody. With people-ness comes big responsibility. Oh wait, no that isn't what they meant at all, is it?
Sure they're people – just like Frankenstein's Monster was people.
People parts, at least.
(BTW, that is an awesome analogy.)
Corporations are people, but the poors aren't people.
The poors are people. Raccoon people. They are poor by choice.
Corporations are God's chosen people and America needs to stand by them or suffer the wrath of God.
Raccoon people FTW! The antidote to Lizard People.
Poors have just as much rights as corporations to buy lobbyists to influence congress.
Hey, it's the whole LDS thing: Mormons are the biggest apologists for big corporations in the world.
Because the LDS is a big, motherfuckin' corporation.
As all religion is a business without a product.
They'd be a pretty shitty Ponzi scheme if they had one.
Give us 10% of your paycheck to join our exclusive club…
The Church of More-money.
Because the LDS is a big,
mother12 year old girl fuckin' corporation.//fixed
It's more like a franchise arrangement: Each soul attains sainthood and gets his own planet to populate with new mormons.
"populate with new morons"
/fixed
They're supposed to be against caffeine consumption, but didn't they make an exception for one of the big colas, Coke or Pepsi, when the church bought stock in the company? A girl who went to school with out oldest said that the caffeine in that one "wasn't bad" for some goofy reason.
You're advised against caffeine consumption, but it's not like "hot beverages" which, per the Word of Wisdom, will send you straight to hell. So Coke and Pepsi may be frowned upon, but it's that mug of hot chocolate that's going to doom your soul.
That is until the church ordains Our Lady of Swiss Miss.
L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology is quoted as saying, "If you want to get rich, start a religion."
Soylent green is corporation?
Soylent Red is my preference, it has Tabasco sauce.
Soylent Yellow is my choice but 30 minutes later im hungry again.
(Curious)
by the transitive property, yes.
Romney got annoyed, and fast, as the activists interrupted him to follow up. "Do you want to let me talk? You let me talk and I'll let you talk… there was a time in this country when we didn't attack people based on what they earn."
Yes, and that time was before the Reeps declared war on the poor so that they could shovel tax breaks to the rich.
Also, if corporations are people, so what? They're a bunch of assholes…just like Mittens…
I'm so old, I remember when we had a War On Poverty… as opposed to what we have today, the War On The Impoverished.
The GOP motto is: "Comfort the comfortable and afflict the afflicted."
For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath.
Don't remember who said it, but I remember a joke about some guy helping with the War on Poverty: "I threw a grenade at a beggar."
I don't know who it is either, but I bet he has a show on Fox Business.
there was a time in this country when we didn't attack people based on what they earn.
It's always okay to attack people for what they don't earn, though. The audacity of those poor people, existing and such.
It gets worse! Did you know they are breeding too? The audacity of them, making more poors on their own.
There was also a time when rich people paid their taxes, created jobs in the United States and didn't use their wealth to influence the democratic process. It was a very long time ago.
There was also a time, not that long ago actually, when a couple of super-rich people said they didn't mind paying more taxes. Suck on that, Mittster. Suck. on. that.
There is a reason why most of the Republiklan candidates have been staying in the Pella area. It's the only place in the state with the religious fundamentalists that agree with them.
There was a time where we forgot to go after rich people, it was 2003 to the present. And look where that shit has gotten us.
I could swear I saw Tom Donohue's (U.S. Chamber of Commerce) arm going up Mitten's ass when he said that.
US Chamber of Commerce? You mean the money-laundertng outfit that foreign corporations use to donate cash to the Republithugs?
If corporations are people, why can't I kick them in the balls?
Because corporations have Republican-enabled brass balls.
"If corporations are people, why can't I kick them in the balls?"
Because they've already been Koch punched…
If corporations are people, why don't they have to show their IDs when they vote?
Because their Republican people, silly.
If corporations are people then surely they must have rectal herpes.
I bet they have face herpes too, they are just a tube of herpes from one end to the other.
"Corporations are people too…and these people are anonymously financing my campaign!"
– Mittens
There, fixed.
Mittens' SuperPAC has collected 12.2 million dollars so far for attack ads.
All people are equal, but some are more equal than others. We call these "corporations."
And this is how the great spectrum of politics from Left to Right loops back around onto itself so that ultimately the two ends are right next to each other under the label totalitarianism.
Animal Farm
Yes, we knew that.
No, The Orange One was just describing the climate inside the Palin family tour bus.
Assholes being assholes. What Mitty meant was that Corporations are HIS friend, my friends. (Not this "friends" shit again).
My neighbor married a corporation. It got pregnant, and now it wants an abortion.
So what do you say to that, Professor Numnuts?
I heard if you have Anal sex with a corporation, you won't get pregnant…
Corporations have already been assfucking you for decades.
Some of my best friends are corporations, but I wouldn't want my sister to marry one.
“Of course they are. Everything corporations earn ultimately earn goes to people.”
They edited the rest of what he said.
"goes to people who wouldn't open the gate of their mansions to piss on you if you were in flames."
Because if corporations are people, they are sociopaths.
Silly thing to say, especially given the guy's background at Bain Capital: If companies are people, Mittens is freakin' Jeffrey Damler!
Also, how droll that he appears to have adopted the unctious & condescending "…blah blah blah, my friend." locution that worked so well for Sen. McCain in the last election.
He is standing on a bale of hay. He's one of us!
Not so sure it worked very well for Sen. McCain. I got very, very tired of hearing his insincere "My friends" every fukkin' minute.
"Wherever corprats take money from hungry people, I'll be there. Wherever there's a corprat goon beatin' up a guy, I'll be there… cheering them on… I'll be in the way CEOs yell when they're mad an'—I'll be in the way eelights laugh when they see poor people and they know their bonus could feed them for a century. An' when corprats sell the stuff slaves made and move jobs to the 3rd world—why, I'll be there."
Mittens Roboto Romney aka Tom Choad
"They breathe profits; they eat the interest on money. If they don't get it, they die the way you die without air, without side-meat."
See, just like peoples.
So good.
Corporations Are People Too
When a Corporation gets a Prostate Exam, maybe I will believe him.
But who will pay for the exam? eh?
Or have hot flashes.
Hence, the doctor will discover the painful herpetic vesicles, reminiscent of petty, low level management.
That used to be the job of the SEC, but no more.
I've heard of people incorporating themselves, but I've never heard of corporations trying to turn themselves into (human-type) people. That should indicate which ones have it better in our society.
If corporations are people how come they don't have to pay taxes?
You're just begging for a Republican talking-power-point about how America has the highest corporate tax rate in the world, or some similar horseshit. When they come for you, just say, "B'but what about value-added tax?"
I have thought for some time that, if corporations claim they are people, they should pay taxes at the same rate as people, and without any special deductions.
And they should have the same restrictions on political spending.
And, literally, how do we put a corporation in jail when it kills someone?
They do it all the time. But they are rich people, so it doesn't count for them.
When was the last time you heard of a corporation being the victim of prison rape?
'Cuz they are rich…
See: bribe (British English), campaign donation (American English)
Haven't you heard? 50% of the people in this country pay no taxes.
I find generally that when you address someone as "my friend" they generally aren't.
Thank you. I was horrified by seeing that old WALNUTS term dragged out by this replicant, but not surprised.
if someone refers to me as "my friend" they better be a bad middle eastern stereotype or a snake oil salesman…wait a minute!
My pal Halliburton got drunk last weekend at my apartment and told me that GE is shagging Boeing's ex-wife, Apple. Mitt was in the next room, changing his magic underwear.
Apple should stay away from GE. He's a gold-digger.
Isn't that a line from a Lupe Fiasco song?
How long before Mitt changes the constitution to "We the Corporations…" and then the whole document could be covered in ads, like a NASCAR vehicle.
Too late! Ragnar Danneskjöld beat him to it!
Is that pronounced "VEE-hick-ul", as in "Do ya'll have one o'them UM-brella IN-surance policies on this here VEE-hick-ul, Darryl?"
The technique of speaking Southern ("Suthun") is to make one-syllable words two syllables, and to remove a syllable from longer words.
Thus, "My cousin Ed, from Louisville" becomes "Mah cuz'n Ayed, frum Loovull."
I'll believe corporations are people when they show up for jury duty. Because right now, corporations get the benefits, rights, & privileges of being people, but none of the obligations.
Well put, Sue!
"I'll believe corporations are people when they show up for jury duty."
Or a Pap smear…
They could also enlist in the Army or the Marine Corps and go fight in Afghanistan, if they were people, which they're not, John Roberts & Co notwithstanding.
Well, for that matter, so could Mitt's sons.
Or Mitt Romney himself, who in college in the 60s lead a counter-protest against an anti-draft protest but managed to avoid the draft himself with help from the Mormon church and his dad.
Or when they get thrown in jail when they commit crimes.
When corporations start sitting on juries, then we will truly have a big fucking problem.
Well, finally, at last the poor AT&Ts, Citibanks, and Lockheed Martins of the world have a brave defender to stand up for them. You go Mitt, way to win hearts and minds!
Willard was a white rat in a movie. Mitt's real first name is Willard. Coincidence?
I think not!
http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/person?v...
Mmmmmm. Sorry Mitt lets try this one
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/person
No…..OH wait..
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/person
DAMN IT!
Indeed, sometimes I want to fuck Exxon-Mobil.
Go know I've been fucked by Exxon-Mobil.
No doubt you were asking for it, dressing all slutty like that.
It's that otter themed lingerie.
"Indeed, sometimes I want to fuck Exxon-Mobil"
I heard just yesterday that the size of Apple's ass has exceeded even Exxon-Mobil…
In America, Exxon-Mobile fucks you.
Oily seals get me so hot !!!
Okay, it's once again, ouroboros time…now – if corporations are PEOPLE because there are PEOPLE running corporations, what is government? Besides the problem, of course, I know. It's the Profit thing, isn't it? It's only people if it's making a profit. One day I will get this, I am sure.
Books are people because people write them and read them. Gardens are people because people plant them and pick them.
Corporations are "people" if they're making a profit and pay no taxes. But if normies make a profit and pay no taxes they go to the federal pen.
LEAVE MITTENS ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!
It's only a question of "can they survive on the campaign trail" if they're Democrats. Don't you know the Tweety rules?
Then he broke into an improptu singalong when they cued up John Lennon's "Power to the People." Without permission, of course.
And they sang:
…Imagine all the corporations
Living for today…
Corporations don't go to school, have children, fall in love, get depressed, get addicted to drugs, get happy, get sick, die, or pay taxes, apparently.
I'll agree with Mitt when I see a corporation sitting in a fucking prison cell.
Or sleeping under an overpass.
a-fucking-men
See: Jeff Skilling
If one of the Fortune 500 do time, they'd best not bend over to pick up their stock options.
…We the shareholders…
Of course they're people – the kind of people who are born, contribute a million bucks to Mitt then disappear into the mist, all in less than four months.
Can't Anonymous or some hacker group find out who that is and put him in stocks? You know, the wooden kind in the public square, not the ones tanking on Wall Street.
But the latter are the kind that corporations hate the mostest.
Oh, and can we haz shouty liburl activists yell at every Republican every time they open their shit filled pie holes in public?
Yep, I have decided that I am going to every single Republican rally that I can and scream abuse and truth.
"Lizzie, coming soon to a Youtube near you."
'Small, angry Englishwoman threatens Rick Perry”
You go grrrrl!!
The truth is abuse to these retards.
Go, Lizzie, Go!….
Would be chuckalicious to see a few people showing up to Sarah Palin speeches, strapped with unloaded weapons, and holding up signs saying that they are willing to take Second Amendment remedies if she doesn't do what they want.
I'm a corporation person.
Corporations are people. Sure. And actual people who behave like corporations — zero empathy, zero conscience, zero regrets — are known as "sociopaths".
What an idiotic thing to say.
LEAVE MITTENS ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!
Clearly the prospect of facing Rick Perry's hair in the debates has shaken Mittens, causing him to blurt the truth. He may have to go full pomade soon.
Both of them are already at full retard.
If we could get Trump to moderate I can only imagine what might happen. Makes me think of Tribbles for some reason. o.O
I was at the bus station, and some corporation reeeeally stunk up stall number 3.
Hell – I was on the planet and a bunch of corporations stunk up stalls number 1, 2 and 3 (i.e. the midwest).
I did like the all corporations edition of Playboy that came out last month. I bet Mitt has found many uses for it.
Miss Corporate July turnons: accelerated depreciation, debtors' prisons; turnoffs: minimum wage, OSHA, EPA.
May you be upfisted, repeatedly.
So, the three laws that guide Mitt's robotic brain have been corrupted with the word corporation replacing people. Are you really surprised?
1. A mittbot may not injure a corporation or, through inaction, allow a corporation to come to harm.
2 A mittbot must obey any orders given to it by corporations, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A mittbot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
I think you've hit on the secret code!
You know, I should have actually written them out when I thought of them. It is hillarious when you see it…, and yet oh so true. WIN! and a big fist up yours to you sir!
For a more receptive audience, Mitt should have given the speech to 5/9 of the Supreme Court.
Actually, this could work out nicely for us. If a company wants to lay us off or get rid of us they should have to divorce us and pay us tons of alimony.
And child support for all the little corps-es they created.
Barb, you're so clever.
Why confuse Anthony Kennedy?
It would never occur to me to go and listen to one of these nasty republicans speak. But now I can see that going and heckling might be kind of fun. I may just try it!
Please go. I'll pay your gas.
Just be sure you're in good enough shape to outrun a herd of angry Hoverounds.
You can always throw a bag of deep fried twinkies into the crowd to cover your escape.
Mitt, you keep writing "people-who-won't-be-voting-for-me" off like that, you're not going to have enough to get you elected. Sure, they're hecklers. But who says they're librul hecklers?
He doesn't stand a chance in Iowa because of his pro-abortion stance he had when he was Governor of Massachusetts, which did him in in 2008. Can't wait to see the heckling he will endure the first time he calls for repealing the Federal Health Care Reform Law that is identical to the same one that he signed when he was Governor.
All of this just makes me look forward to the upcoming holy war between the disciples of Romney and the prophets of Perry.
This is the part where I scratch my head and wonder: "How terrible do Republicans have to be before people stop voting for them?"
Sadly, I don't think they've hit rock bottom yet.
"How terrible do Republicans have to be before people stop voting for them?"
Sarah Palin could bite the head off a bat with Mitt Romney fucking a goat and Real Americans would still love them.
Love the sinners, hate the sins!
If I knew the HTML, I would strike through Americans and substitute okies.
It's the genius of the republicans – they have somehow gotten the majority of this country to do things that are completely against their own self interest, effectively negating a lot of standard economic theory.
It's called "authoritarian personality" disorder and Nixon's Whitehouse lawyer, John Dean wrote a book on it called "Conservatives Without Conscious." They represent about 20% of the population and are fukkin' pit bulls defending their unreasonable beliefs. In other words, Michele Bachmann-esque batshit crazy. Got a couple of them in my family and they're not very nice or smart. Best to avoid.
"Corporations — corporations who need corporations
Are the luuuuuuckiest corporations in the world."
Corp-to-Corp is the new Ass-to-Mouth….
Damn refresh fail on my part. But how can you not quote Babs?
L to the O to the L!!
"Hell is other corporations"
—Jean-Paul Sartre, CEO, Renault Motors
Guy de Maupassant worked for Renault Moters
Sartre worked for Peugeot.
I shit. Therefore I am – from every college dorm bathroom stall in the 70s
I'm pink, therefore I'm Spam.
—on the shithouse wall at the off-campus brewhouse I used to frequent.
"Corporations are Corporations, so why should it be?"
—Depeche Mode
"Shiny happy corporations laughing" – REM
"You'll never live like common corporations,
you'll never do what common corporations do,
you'll never fail like common corporations,
you'll never watch your stock slide out of view" -Pulp
There is a yellow one
That won't accept the black one
That won't accept the red one
That won't accept the white one
Different strokes for different corporations
And so on and so on
And scooby dooby dooby
His many daring, risk taking statements during the whole raise-the-debt-limit-or-default drama are indictions of what his leadership of the nation would be like.
Coprorations are people and use the people that have corporeality to wipe their ethereal asses with.
Of course corporations are people. Special People, Special People who can steal, kill other people, lay waste to vast tracts of land, and who are never sent to prison, executed or otherwise brought to justice like us "regular people". They have equal rights, but few, if any of the responsibilities of "regular people". They never die either, and just amass wealth and continue growing and "murdering" any smaller Special People who try to compete with them. They buy politicians like "regular people" buy a pair of pliers at Sears, as tools to meet their ends. Yup, them's peoples all right. Really shitty people.
They buy politicians like "regular people" buy a pair of pliers at Sears, as tools to meet their ends.
And Mitt's one of the biggest tools they've got.
K'na bro!
If "corporations are people" then disolving them is committing murder, right Mittens?
Kind of like your friends who created a corporation, gave you a zillion dollars and then disappeared.
Yeah. Kind of like that.
Not murder, abortion!
Wouldn't stock ownership be slavery?
Corporations are people the way Mitt Romney is unemployed.
Its not often I get raped by my friends. There. That should dispel any rumors about corporations being my friends.
“Of course they are. Everything corporations earn ultimately earn goes to people.”
In the Cayman Islands.
He just can't come off as if he's not making even the stupidest people feel he's talking down to them.
He's a balloon boy!
"Corporations are people"
This is an old meme.
Corporations are made up of people, who already paid taxes.
DOUBLE TAXATION, BITCHES!!!
How would it be double when the corporations don't actually pay taxes?
Since I lost thousands in this financial crisis, just like G.E., so I'm expecting the IRS to pay me this year with loss carryovers just like G.E. gets, right?
a rich douchebag says what?
You know what Wonkette ass-holes! KNOCK OFF THE SNARKING. You're hurting GE's feelings.
(oops I put this on the wrong post before)
Corporations
Corporations who need Corporations
Are the luckiest Corporations in the world,
We're companies, needing other companies
And yet letting our corporate pride
Hide all the need inside,
Acting more like companies
Than companies.
I'm still waiting for a corporation to be thrown in jail for breaking the law.
I think I saw that the other night on America's Most Wanted Corporations…
I'm still waiting ofr a corporation to get sentenced to death by lethal injection for knowingly committing mass-murder.
I didn't watch the video, but I sure hope one of those hecklers yelled out "You stupid asshole!"
Corporations are just a group of people trying to squeeze as much money as possible out of their collective effort. Sort of like unions, only not icky and poor.
Someone has to pack that fudge.
The last time I checked, people don't get automatic limited liability. People aren't made of boards that face little consequence for the corporation's actions.
Also, people are mortal, while the only thing that will definitively kill a corporation will be the heat death of the universe.
I'm not a tax lawyer, but I would imagine the IRS would frown on me not paying my income taxes on the excuse that I live in the U.S. but I work in Mexico.
I wonder if Mitt thinks labor unions are people.
I can see where this is headed:
Don't call me friend, buddy. Don''t call me buddy, pal. Don't call me pal, freind…
OBAMNEY CARE. That's the clip I want to see, and something tells me I'll see it before all this is over.
George Bailey thought that corporations were people too. But all he wound up with was a pretty lousy life in a small town, giving up all his dreams while everyone else took advantage of him, with only some clown named Clarence ringing a bell and a blank-faced wife played by Donna Reed to keep him company in his misery.
Yep…sounds like a corporation to me.
Oh, by the way … maybe it's just me, but it seems like Shocking Muscle Pictures guy and Kortney Kukumber would make a nice couple.
We have an expression in the UK for what Mittens just did…"He peed in his chips".
Hopefully this means that he screwed the pooch.
More or less, it's like poking yourself in the eye.
All the food a tractor produces eventually goes to people as well, but I don't see anyone giving them Constitutional rights.
Damn–Mitt's cluelessness burns. Not a man of the people will he ever be.
Hey Mitt, here's a helpful hint for ya. The people that are at the Iowa State Fair during working hours on the first day of the fair are generally under or unemployed. The people on vacation will be there next week.
You should probably know your audience.
He is a man of the people, though. The right sort of people.
Is Mitt putting on the rubber glove to handle some Santorum Inc.? If we ever get to the point that we really believe corporations are people we are soooo screwed…what? Wait. Fuck!
One thing that bothered me about the whole corporations are people business, people die. Doesn’t that mean (if corporations are people) that we should set a max age cap on all corporations, after which they have to be dissolved?
Corporations are immortal. They just run around cutting all our heads off, at least figuratively. There can be only one!
DEATH PANELS!!!!!!1!
Jefferson and Madison had this conversation. they decided the corporations should have to dissolve every 40 years and pay taxes on profits at that time.
So WTF happened to that?
They also wanted to ban corporate money in all elections. so WTF?
Thanks for that! I wanted to post the same thing.
Mitt's mother was a corporation.
He's right. Everything corporations "earn" goes to people. Very, very rich people with an inflated view of their own magnanimity, who use it to buy mansions, yachts, sports cars, and Central American slave labor for their kids, their kitchens, and their gardens.
"Central American slave labor
forto raise their kids"Fixed that for ya.
And they pay 15% or less on their income and in many cases, they probably get refunds like Exxon, Bank of America and Boeing.
Corporations are corporations, so how can it be,
Corporations donate to Mitt Rom-e-ney?
I just mentally downfisted myself for that.
When I was a little girl–very little, mind you, I was watching Johnny Carson, or Jack Paar (very little, so young I can't remember which) and his guest was some big entertainer. I think it might have been a Rat Pack member who joked about how much he paid in taxes by saying, "You know that rocket ship we went into space? I personally paid for the second orbit." (Something like that.)
He immediately added, "And I'm proud to do it for the greatest country in the world."
There was a time when paying taxes was seen as patriotic.
"There was a time when paying taxes was seen as patriotic."
Not since Conservatives started quoting that Born-with-a-silver-spoon-in-his-mouth Judge Learned Hand, who said:
"Any one may so arrange his affairs that his taxes shall be as low as possible; he is not bound to choose that pattern which will best pay the Treasury; there is not even a patriotic duty to increase one's taxes."
Or my favorite, from Oliver Wendell Holmes:
"I love paying taxes; with them, I buy civilization."
Beautiful! The inscription over the IRS building in Washington, DC is attributed to him, "Taxes are what we pay for a civilized society."
Mitt's illogic explained:
Definition of "Composition fallacy."
well played mittens.
I think I am more likely to believe corporations are people before I classify Mittens as a person.
I don't know if corporations are people, but if any person is the embodiment of a corporation, its Mitt Romney.
I have fucked many people but I am pretty sure I have never fucked a corporation.
But you probably have been fucked by many corporations.
Is Groupon a corporation? Cuz it's young and probably good in bed.
S'ok Lizzy. I hear their dicks are small.
Well, I am not so sure. Halliburton had a big Dick, didn't it??
You're the best Lizzie.
I should have that put on a T-shirt and go to all Mittens' election rallies.
Sell them on E-Bay and you could be in "job creator" status in no time.
Nice work, Niedermeyer.
If only Mittens had gone off to war and met the same fate as Niedermeyer …
Corporations are just like me.
Christine O'Donnell is just like me.
Ergo, corporations are witches.
But if Candidates didn't take all that sweet lobbyist/corporate cash, they'd have to raise money the ol' fashioned way.
Do a barnstorming of their district or whatever and attend Potato Salad, Baked Bean and Cole Slaw party fundraisers and have to actually mingle and feign interested in the concerns of the fat lazy loud mouthed slobs that voted for you.
I'd much rather sit around in my office sending pictures of my wang to porn stars and cash lobbyist and corporate donor checks on my way home than meet the disgusting turds that voted for me.
Does Mitt believe that gay corporations have the right to marry, and if so, how many wives are they allowed to merger with?
"I don't know if they are people are not, but I know who's paying for my campaign…"
Hey if you think about it, Mitt has a point.
(Jesus, the things I'll do or say for a chance to get orchestra tickets to "Book of Mormon.")
"Up With People" finally makes sense.
Oh dear God, this made me feel ill.
http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/08/11/moore.perry...
That was a breathtaking piece of wankery. Unless it was meant as humor? No, no, it really is wankery.
God, how I despise our year-long election cycle. There is going to be so much more of this.
I was hoping it was a call for Libs to get off their fucking duffs.
I think that's the intention, but it's so cynical that most people will just turn off to it.
Nothing against Mr. Moore, but this is the third "why Rick Perry can/will win" piece I've seen today. That probably means I've spent too much time in front of my computer, but still.
Nah, they're going to whine about Obama, stay home in 2012, then get upset that nobody else did anything to stop Perry's election.
It was hardly flattering.
"i'm Mitt Romney and Corporate America approves this message."
As a matter of fact, Apple is sitting on a cash-hoard that was, last week, more money than even the gummint had available to spend. And they are not giving that fucking money to any "people."
That's why corporations need tax cuts, also. They obviously don't have enough money to expand and invest in jobs.
Can we send corporations to jail?
Mitt's right. Goldman Sachs is my maiden aunt. So stop picking on my family you mean people.
Everything corporations earn ultimately earn goes to people
Someone's never heard of "unrealized capital gains", it seems. Which is a little surprising, you'd think Mitt Romney, having inherited a vast fortune, would be familiar with how they work
Soylent Green Corporation is people too, Moroni-dammit!
Boy, he really one-upped Bachman on the idiot remark-o-meter with that one. Oh, the inhumanity.
i bring my money to the corporate welfare line.
i see you standing in it every time.
Corporation is a weekly American magazine covering famous corporations and corporate-interest stories, published by Time Inc.
It recently named General Electric as the sexiest corporation.
A spin-off Teen Corporation wasn't successful and was recently shut down.
Does that mean we can abort them?
How many corporations signed up for Iraq?
Well, most of the oil companies, all of the defense contractors, KBR, Halliburton, and i'm sure there's more.
All of them, Charlie.
R'omnitarded? R'omnidefectus?
You know, every dollar of taxes corporations pay -or would, if they actually paid any taxes- also goes to people, ultimately. And in most cases, that "ultimately" is a lot sooner, because, again, unrealized capital gains.
If corporations are people, when they totally screw up their financial health with bad investment decisions, they should be kicked to the curb and left to die a slow, painful rotting death, just like us people.
Long ago, a woman in Michigan got knocked up by a corporation. She was married and had an abortion.
And that abortion….
Grew up to be…
Mitt Romney.
And now, you know the rest of the story…
Is that angry questioner Charlie from "It's always Sunny in Philadelphia"?
If corporations are people, we should be able to give them the death penalty.
I am once again wishing the blacks and the gays would just incorporate so they could have a political party that would cater to their needs.
"I am the US Chamber Of Commerce & I approve this sock-puppet."
All this corporate-presonhood bullshit because of a court-clerk's transcription error.
Moral: always proofread … OR ELSE.
My cat is so cute – he thinks he's Blue Cross!
Why don't the Poors incorporate? "Starvation Inc." has a nice ring to it.
Yep…corporations are people too. Sounds awesome. And speaking of awesome, I read this only slightly OT article a few minutes ago:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifameric...
How can the US prevent British style riots here? Make the spending cuts even deeper.
Jesus wept.
whoa. I don't think I can handle the collected acrid brain farts of that rouge's gallery.
Not voting for Romney is racist against corporations. Especially rich overseas corporations who let you diddle their US subsidiaries while they're flush with spendy campaign cash. They love you long time.
I cannot wait until the future when I can upload my consciousness into a loose association of assets to become the first corporation-sapien.
Some day we'll all have corporations, then we can be people too!
And Michael Jackson sang a lovesong to Ben, the lead rat.
Lucky for them they're WHITE people.
Progressive indexing? Sounds like socialism.
I went to elementary school with a corporation who was always stealing other people's lunch money. Wonder what ever happened to him?
Soylent Green is Corporations??? no wonder I have a belly ache, and bad gas.
Robo-Turd Romney is just wishing he could incorporate and become a real person himself, but being a hominoid, he is not eligible. Also Mormon, too, as well as…
My guess is they won't be voting for me, good guess, Sherlock…
Blahblah balance budget blah blah without raising taxes blah ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Wake me when it's time for ice cream.
Oh, and why aren't WE rioting in the streets?
Too buzy reading teh wonkette.
Droppin' logic bombs on some cornfed proles/'Til the Jeebus come to save our corporations' souls//Bitches tryna know for whom the Mitt bell tolls/The rubber glove of corporate love is here to fill they holes.
Hmmmm, if corporations are people….then isn't terminating unwanted workers just because they inconvenience the profit margin the same as having an abortion? Great great, big mass abortions?
And now that they have First Amendment rights how long until they get the right to bear arms as well?
Do these asswipes believe that they can rouse the rabble to cheer on the corporations? It seems as though Romney expected a few "huzzah"s at the mention of his fellow pigs.
Aristocrats and rakes are too good for him; get my pitchfork.
Here's hoping he keeps this up. What a dipshit.
If coporations are people why don't they have to show their IDs when they vote?
A stack of benjanmins is like an ID.
fucking idiot
If corporations are people, do they fart?
If you're DuPont chemical, yes.
Dang! Got me there. What exit?
If corporations are people, then that means they have a conscience, since they don't, I think it is safe to say that they are scociopaths (psychopaths).
Sorry to inform you Mittens, Judges Scalia, Alito, & lapdog Thomas, the goal of a corporation is to take a pile of money and turn it into a bigger pile of money, even if they have to kill people (by the millions, if necessary) to do that. That is not what responsible PEOPLE do.
Then they'll never know the joy of lighting their farts. That's sad.
So bad, so very very lame, when he tries to be folksy and casual. One almost feels sorry for him.
Sure, West Virginia just put out an arrest warrant for Massey Energy. Ooh, I hope they seek the death penalty. That's a thing that happens to people, right?
Perhaps they can come up with some kind of a compromise. Real people get 3/5ths of the vote of a corporation?
Let me guess, though, unions aren't people, right? Thanks, just needed to get that straight, asshole.
John Edwards' daddy was a millworker. Mitt Romney's daddy was the whole damned mill, apparently. Actually, I'll say it again, but Mitt wishes he was half the man and politician his daddy was.
And in Brisket's wine-cooler-filled tent.
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