gay old party

Fox News Refuses to Let Gay Candidate Join Iowa Presidential Debate

There is some other GOP presidential candidate we never actually even heard of named Fred Karger, but he is according to some poll tied with Tim Pawlenty, which feels about right. Karger is also one of the vanishingly rare openly gay Republicans people hear about on quiet days when the wind is still, which means Fox News will not be allowing him to participate in their upcoming Iowa presidential debate. WHY EVER NOT?? Here, let us make a simile: showing a gay on Fox News who might “do something gay” like pull some kind of gay guerrilla move like blowing a kiss to Rick Santorum or mention gays don’t deserve the death penalty or WORSE YET MENTION THAT GAY MARRIAGE IS IRRELEVANT TO THE ECONOMY, on screen, live, is equal to the kind of terror Fox News debate producers feel when they imagine an out-of-left-field Michele Bachmann – Herman Cain french kiss.

Karger sent a letter to Fox News explaining that he met all the requirements to enter the debate, which are basically to earn at least 1% in five national polls. He’s also tied with Pawlenty and Jon Huntsman.

Fox News responded: hahahahaha polls are fake anyway. NO.

From the Des Moines Register:

[Fox News VP Michael] Clemente said each of the polls cited by Karger are either online, interactive or out of date and do not qualify for the purpose of meeting the debate criteria.

The latest national poll Karger highlighted was conducted by Harris Interactive, earlier this week showing Karger has 2 percent of the support, tied with former Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty and former Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman.

Karger has been shunned by some mainstream Republicans, particularly religious conservatives who disagree that same-sex couples should have the same marriage rights as opposite sex couples.

Karger has filed a complaint with the Federal Election Commission earlier this year, for example, after Republican National Committee member Steve Scheffler of West Des Moines wrote in an e-mail to Karger that “I will work overtime to help ensure that your political aspirations are aborted right here in Iowa.”

WOAH. So apparently Republicans do turn out to be secretly pro-abortion when there’s a gay running around on the loose. [Des Moines Register/ Fred Karger For President]

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    1. widget2011

      A very tightly packed closet, practically bulging the walls and bending the hinges, while warping in the middle, ready to implode on itself. Because, if they attempt to escape the closet, they will vanish into Rupert Murdock's "Black hole of Oblivion".

  1. SorosBot

    Wait, if Fox is against allowing gay candidates to debate, won't they have to ban Perry and Santorum too?

  2. hagajim

    Faux is afraid that if Karger shows up O'Reilly will break out the louffa (or however you spell that shit)….or that Hannity will want to bugger him on the spot, or that Larry Craig will be seen tapping in the toilet.

  3. Tundra Grifter

    The headline "Fox News Refuses to Let Gay Candidate Join Iowa Presidential Debate" is missing, between "Let" and "Gay" the word "Openly." Or, I guess, "Out" if you prefer.

    It does need a qualifier. Remember – we're talking about the GNoP here.

  4. KenLayIsAlive

    Santorum objects because he won't be able to concentrate on the issues while his brain contemplates, in the greatest possible obsessive detail, Karger's gay sexytime with his alter-ego Sick Rantorum.

    1. Gleem_McShineys

      It's not Rick's fault! He suffers from Dickslexia, a kind of confusion about which side of a penis he's supposed to be on.
      It's either pushing, or pulling. One of the two, definitely.

    2. GhostBuggy

      There isn't enough stage makeup in the world to overcome the sweat that would drip off those bastards, having to be that close to him, so tantalizingly close…

  5. Suq Madiq

    I know how this goes: a gay Republican is a gay Republican and a straight Republican is a a straight Republican. They're not the same! Thanks, perfessor Santorum. Legalize straight marriage, quit shoving your throbbing gayz down our throats!

      1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

        And it does appear that your chances of finding a gay date are higher within Republican circles.

  6. charlesdegoal

    I doubt that this Scheffler fellow believes you can get pregnant in a ghey way. Rather, he uses the term "aborted" because he thinks of it as an insult.

  7. Tundra Grifter

    Kirsten: You wrote "…apparently Republicans do turn out to be secretly pro-abortion when there’s a gay running around on the loose."

    For years I've been taking the other side. Since the reactionaries hate abortion so much, why don't they support gay marriage? Those couples – male or female – just about NEVER get abortions.

  8. genxr

    He's going to do some kind of tele-hypnosis to recruit the entire Fox News audience into being gay. Imagine, in the middle of the debate, he puts on those funny glasses and whammo! It's fat middle-age buttsechs all across middle america.

  9. phlox✔

    Not only is he openly gay, he's a pretty reasonable person that doesn't toe the crazy line the TeaTards have spun in the sand with their Rascal wheels.

    That's why we won't be seeing him in any debates.

    1. Radiotherapy®

      Wait, his "OTP Obama," "Obama is a Failure," "Lack of Leadership," "Nobama" buttons aren't always ON?

  10. SayItWithWookies

    Too bad Fred Karger's biology isn't ideologically pure enough for FOX. Hey, isn't Buddy Roemer running for the GOP nom too, on basically a liberal platform? Oh, yes he is:

    Buddy argues for campaign finance reform in political campaigns and believes that politicians should be advocates of the people not for special interests who invested in campaigns. This election cycle he will only take a maximum of $100 donations for his campaign from American citizens and he promises that he won't take any money from special interests, PACs, or companies.

    Wonder what sexual orientation FOX is gonna make him out to be?

  11. Gorillionaire

    After Dr. Bachmann's patented pray-the-ghey-away treatment takes effect, this guy will just be another rich asshole like the rest of them.

  12. HarryButtle

    If Karger has the buttsecks right before the debate, there could technically be 2 Santorums onstage at the same time…one standing at the podium next to Krager and one running down the back of Krager's leg. I think the latter would be the more coherent of the two.

    1. Barb

      Ah CRAP, Palin has announced that she's going to Iowa for the State Fair. I guess jury duty is over.

      1. GOPCrusher

        She's going to be giving the keynote speech at a Tea Bagger rally over Labor Day weekend also. Rumors are, that she will be using the opportunity to announce her candidacy for President Of The United States.

  13. Crank_Tango

    jeeze, they are letting teh blax in. 50 more years gays, 50 more years. you just haven't earned it yet, baby…

  14. mourningnmerica

    Update. Karger has agreed to go back into the closet, so they have now reversed position, and invited him.

  15. Rotundo_

    It is kinda funny that Faux Noose/Republicans are so intimidated by the mere presence of a gay candidate in their party that they lock him out of the conversation. Are they afraid that he might sound like the most rational and moral person, perhaps the most intelligent, on the stage?

    1. elviouslyqueer

      Well, duh. In the Faux Noose universe, the only gays worth telecasting are either AIDS victims, Congressional male page-rapers with (D) after their name, or ugly drag queens.

  16. orygoon

    I would WATCH a republican debate if most of the participants wore protective face masks and plastic shower foot covers and rubber gloves and stuff.

  17. smitallica

    "Karger" sounds like a great candidate for a Google bombing. Like, we need to make it mean being in a club that doesn't want you, or self-loathing or something. I don't know. Get Dan Savage and his angry ghey brigade on it.

  18. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Wow, What's next. Are they going to make Hermann Cain debate from the back of the room?

  19. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You know, this whole thing would be hilarious if it was 1972 and an episode of All in the Family.

  20. LesBontemps

    an out-of-left-field Michele Bachmann – Herman Cain french kiss.

    I would actually tune in to see that. Just to see if contact between their respective crazy results in a supernova and/or a black hole.

  21. GOPCrusher

    To be fair to Faux Noise (*snicker*) the debate is being sponsored by The Family Leader. There is no way in hell a gay candidate would be allowed within 5 miles of this debate.

  22. Guppy06

    Gay Republicans: proof that the poors aren't the only ones that vote against their own self-interest.

  23. x111e7thst

    I am unable to form an opinion on this matter until I hear from Lindsey Graham and Joe" Lieberman .

  24. mormos

    I never understood why gays would be part of the republican party. Then I realized that if you're looking to get screwed in the rear there is no better place than the GOP

  25. metamarcisf

    OT – This week's episode of "Weeds" has a scene where Silas loads a bunch of weed into a pickup truck with a Palin – Bachmann bumper sticker. Does Showtime know something?

      1. metamarcisf

        Didn't know that stuff. Makes we want to take back every little nasty thing I've said about that wretched media whore and her entire family of hopheads.

  26. proudgrampa

    Well, Fred shouldn't worry: if the debate is only carried on FOX, no one's gonna watch it anyway.

  27. Come here a minute

    He didn't really expect to get in the debate, did he? Next thing you know a Mexican will try it.

  28. BarackMyWorld

    Anyone remember how the Texas delegation acted during the 2000 Republican Convention? Just seeing a gay person is an afront to some conservatives.

  29. Nostrildamus

    With a woman and black and a gay on the podium, I guess most of the debate would have to be about Hispanics.

  30. DemonicRage

    Fox subscribes to that George W. era dictum which famously made its way into a NY Times Magazine article….we're not entirely reality-based. If Fox wants to, they can slot a few of their "Glee" cast members into the Republican wanna be forums, to boost ratings on that show.

  31. ttommyunger

    What is up with some people? Openly gay Republican? I would have sooner believed that a Pope would have been a member of the Hitler Youth. No, wait!

  32. Negropolis

    Something bothers me about Karger, and it's not his orientation. His eyes creep me out, but he's a Republican, so I should have expected such a thing.

  33. elburritodeluxe

    Now that Perry is in the race, I think we should say that Fred Karger is the only openly gay Republican running for President.

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