Wise CEO Suggests Heavier Taxes On Poor People To Help Weary Rich People

  a modest proposal

Suck it, poors!Taxes on the rich would be very, very bad. All Americans learned this from our first constitutional president, Ronald Reagan, which is why his illegitimate son — the Keynesian Kenyan economist Barack Obama — keeps prattling on about the need for the top 1% to pay their “fair share.”  But as common-folk hero Eric Cantor can tell you, taxes on the rich are literally the murderers of innocent, mostly nonexistent jobs. With much of the remaining U.S. service sector now devoted to carrying sacks of Rolex watches and diamond-studded vibrators to Charles Koch’s chauffeured Bentley or sponge-bathing David Koch’s liver spots with whale oil, the redistribution of wealth from “people in general” to a handful of gazillionaires has put more pressure on the rich to keep being insanely rich. Who will make the nation’s poor finally take their medicine, for America?

A RedState blogger/wealthy CEO of some random Internet company has made up a “reasonable solution” for the country’s descent into horror: a strongly regressive tax:

You can raise taxes on high earners, but you don’t solve any economic problem that way. There just aren’t enough rich people to buy candy and bubble gum for everyone else. Plus, you kill job growth by wiping out their incentives to take on economic risk …

Let’s challenge the Democrats on this one. If they’re so committed to the idea that we need higher taxes, then let them propose a broad-based, regressive increase: either a VAT, or a large payroll-tax rate increase (which Reagan also did).

Just do it, Democrats. You want higher taxes? Then propose higher taxes that really will reduce deficits while minimizing the effect on job creation. Otherwise, shut up.

But wouldn’t a 0.012% tax on the 15,000 highest earning households buy everyone some bubble gum? Maybe, but that’s the kind of Nobama class warfare that has been ruining this country ever since the so-called New Deal.

We could spend all day listening to whining Marxist types like Alan Greenspan and the demons who run Goldman Sachs about the “risks” that “inequality” present to the “economy,” but the rich are God’s voice on Earth, and as such we cannot afford provoking their ire.

Oh look it’s another Wonkette Jr.! What will she/he come up with next?

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201 comments

    1. Thurman Munster IV

      Is that the one Dennis Leary had to give up after the Red Sox won the World Series in '04?

    2. DahBoner

      Because the RedState blogger/wealthy CEO of some random Internet company is already a Right nut

  1. BloviateMe

    We heavily outnumber the super-wealthy. Seems like that could be handy for something.

    Nah, probably not. More tax cuts.

      1. axmxz

        On the contrary: in this crazy post-industrial world, the wealthy are the only ones who can afford nutritious food and personal trainers, so they are lean and mean, whereas everyone else is fat and angry.

        1. Jukesgrrl

          I bow to your superior analysis. Heaven knows I would be tastier than Victoria Beckham or Paris Hilton, no matter the recipe.

  2. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Might as well tax the poor. It's not like they can afford private jets or caviar. What the hell are they going to do with their dollars anyway?

  3. Barb

    "Who will make the nation’s poor finally take their medicine, for America?"
    I thought we were against allowing them to have medicine? Did we scrap the idea of "death panels?"

    Sorry poors, these suppositories, like Sarah Palin's tampons, are straight from the freezer. Here, let Speaker Boehner's ginormous gavel help to ease that bad boy up your rectum.

    1. mrpuma2u

      "Are there no prisons? And the union workhouses – are they still in operation?"

      When do we get the "decrease the surplus population" speech? Sometimes I think we already have…

  4. Come here a minute

    Awesome ideas dude — and I'm sure you won't mind getting rid of the cap on payroll taxes.

    This must be one of those fancy Harvard MBA's, because I'm pretty sure Harvard tells students to end all their arguments with "otherwise shut up!"

    1. anniegetyerfun

      It's a standard tactic in Lincoln-Douglas style debates, in which this gentleman has clearly trained. Some neo-traditionalists argue in favor of using "put up or shut up" or even "I know you are, but what am I?" as a final statement during opening arguments, but such strategies often reduce rebuttal arguments to a rubber versus glue structure.

    2. JustPixelz

      Adjust the AMT so the everyone above the median income pays at least the effective median tax rate, including FICA/medicare. Who can complain about that kind of fairness? OH WAIT, I know who.

  5. powersuit

    He likes the idea of a VAT because the Bentley & Jimmy Choo VAT exemptions are already written into the model law he took from the ALEC website.

    What a turd.

  6. horsedreamer_1

    I'd like to drop the Red State blogger in a vat, which is also known as a cistern, which is sometimes called a toilet.

  7. hagajim

    Probably ought to raise taxes on everyone, raise the payroll tax to cover at least the first $250K of income, tax capital gains at 30% (minimum) and change the top marginal rate to about 50% (on incomes over $1 million)….then tell the rich assholes to fuck themselves. Oh – and give a tax break (or incentive) of half wage to companies that actually keep manufacturing jobs in America.

  8. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You know who else thought the poor should bear the burdens of society while the rich frolic?

    1. mumbly_joe

      Louis the XVI?

      Whatever happened to that guy, anyway? Nothing that could serve as a cautionary tale to anyone trying to crush the poor financially to subsidize the fancies of the oligarchs, I can tell you that much.

  9. MARCdMan

    Update from the class war, the rich just won yet another battle. Their strategy of getting the very people they are assfucking to do the fighting for them continues to carry the day.

  10. JoshuaNorton

    you kill job growth by wiping out their incentives to take on economic risk …

    Oh, yes! Because that "logic" has served us so well up 'til now.

    Not to mention that the bulk of the "job growth" they seem to provide is in China for around .03 cents an hour.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Well, after all, there was no job growth at all during the times when taxes on the rich were higher than today, like from about 1950-2001. Nobody had any incentive to create wealth during the Eisenhower administration, remember?

      And as we all know, unless one has an "incentive" to become obscenely wealthy, no one ever bothers doing it.

      1. Naked_Bunny

        Yeah, but most middle-class households only had one job back then, rather than two or three or four. Today's workers are so greedy!

    2. DahBoner

      Actually, when most of the folks back in your village in the country make $50 a month, working 18 hours a day in some sweatshop factory in the city and making $50 a day must seem like an incredible amount of money…

    3. Guppy06

      You know what eliminates incentives to take economic risk? An environment of deregulation and cronyism that keeps big business firmly entrenched and unassailable in their markets of choice.

      1. BarryOPotter

        So very, very well put. The hard part is encouraging people who don't understand your statement to seriously think about what you said, or at least having more "media" types translate it to boneheadese…

    1. DahBoner

      "Myth: The rich get rich because of their merit.

      Fact: Researchers have uncovered dozens of social factors that contribute to becoming rich:

      Access to first-rate education
      Training opportunities
      Personality type
      Physical attractiveness
      Height
      Athletic ability
      Inheritance
      Nepotism
      Prejudice (and not just against race or gender)
      Social and business connections
      Knowing someone who is successful
      Lobbying Congress
      Business cycle trends
      Fads
      Inventions
      Discoveries
      Wars
      Speculation
      Gambling
      Miserliness
      Insider trading
      Unfair market practices
      And, last but not least, dumb luck
      "
      http://www.huppi.com/kangaroo/L-richmerit.htm

    1. Tundra Grifter

      As if the poors could afford anything more powerful than a tree branch & rubberband slingshot and free pebbles.

      "The law, in its infinite fairness, forbids rich and poor alike from stealing bread and sleeping under bridges." – Anatole France

    2. LettucePrey

      Hey, do you think right-wingers' brains would explode if there was a sudden rash of gun violence against fetuses?

      Oh, wait. Guns don't kill fetuses. Liberals kill fetuses.

  11. elviouslyqueer

    What's the difference between a RedState columnist and a constipated Siamang? At least the Siamang knows it's full of shit.

  12. Doktor Zoom

    I'd meet him halfway–how about a tax on poors and near-poors, accompanied by a rebate on the purchase of torches and pitchforks?

  13. donner_froh

    There just aren’t enough rich people to decorate every lamp post in the country so we will have to hang a few lackeys and war-mongering generals as well.

    That must have been what Eric meant to say.

    1. Crank_Tango

      "The move is primarily to get out of the cold weather…" but if I can blame taxes, then I will.

    2. FNMA

      OK, let me see if I have this right. The guy is a dick and he's proud of being a dick. Is that pretty much what the article says?

      1. DashboardBuddha

        Only in America can you pull down $750k/year and complain that you're being punished. The mind boggles.

        1. Dashboard_Jesus

          not only is the guy a dick pulling down $750K a year but it's ALL from GOVT contracts, WTF are ALL these douchebags sucking offa the gummint tit bitching about? Fuck do I hate rich white assholes like these fucktards, I'm sharpening the tines on my pitchfork right now asshole! also

          1. snoopyfan2010

            You forgot that they believe the money belongs to them. They don't have to earn what is rightly theirs.

    3. elviouslyqueer

      Most of these folks will admit they like Florida for the balmy weather in the winter, but as Gaver said, the tax benefits are substantial. They can eat out by the pool on their screened patios in January, and save more money than half of Marylanders make in a year.

      I hope to doG the Maryland Reporter blogger wrote this with tongue firmly in cheek. If not, I hope real hard-working, barely-scraping-by, taxpaying Marylanders track down exactly where in Florida this self-satisfied asshole now lives.

    4. GOPCrusher

      Not surprisingly.

      "Why in heaven’s name isn’t someone paying attention to us? Is it because they are trying to attract the “new Americans” (otherwise known to most of us as “illegal aliens”)? We are the backbone of this state and it is becoming fairly obvious that not many in Annapolis are the least bit interested
      in our opinions."

      When all else fails, blame the brown people.

  14. smokefilleddoommate

    The problem with class warfare is that it doesn’t give us growth and jobs.

    ? You outsource all the jerbs anyway.. Oh fuck it–there's too much bullshit in that statement to even begin. The problem is YOU and your ilk, moneygrubbing fuck.

  15. SorosBot

    "Then propose higher taxes that really will reduce deficits while minimizing the effect on job creation"

    That's what they did. Why do you say you want this, but then propose regressive taxes which would lower consumption by the poor and middle class and thus hurt job growth while opposing raising taxes on the rich which wouldn't hurt jobs at all?

  16. donner_froh

    Dear Eric Cantor:

    Do you really think that the wealthy and powerful whose interest you serve so loyally won't kick you to the curb when they no longer have use for you?

    Good luck in hell.

    Signed,
    Your biggest fan

      1. Jukesgrrl

        I'm partial to "Paranoia strikes deep, into your life it will creep, it starts when you're always afraid, step outta line the man come and take you away." I know it was just written to dispute a curfew, but it's had a long life.

      1. Respitetini

        Oh, that's just unfair. They had coke dealers bills to pay in the '80s. They had to release that crappy song.

        1. Guppy06

          Not trying to begrudge them their "bills," just saying, as a (relative) young'un, that the whole "Revolutionary Sixties" thing didn't really work out all that well for y'all, did it?

  17. Eve8Apples

    RedState blogger would be wise to gaze across the pond at the British rioters. Us peasants may be poor, but we can still get our hands on metal pipes, matches and kerosene. For us, a few weeks in an air conditioned jail for vandalism, looting, etc. would be comparable to a Red State blogger spending a few weeks at an all-inclusive resort.

    1. Dashboard_Jesus

      my guess is he's not too worried, NFL season is about to start and so is another edition of American Idol so the morons will have plenty of reasons/ distractions to NOT give a shit…how do you expect them to rise up against the man when the poors got shiny new big screen teevee to soothe their nerves?

  18. spinozasgod

    Actually a well structured VAT tax and upping the cap on SS plus an increase in medicare contributions are not terrible ideas, but this dick just ruined it for me……they take ideas that could at least be looked into and turn them into hateful shit….shitheads.

  19. Oblios_Cap

    If they’re so committed to the idea that we need higher taxes, then let them propose a broad-based, regressive increase: either a VAT, or a large payroll-tax rate increase

    Yes – finally someone that realizes that regressive taxes are what has made this country great! Plus, it'll result in a healthier – or at least a whole lot skinnier – population when malnutrition afflicts the great unwashed.

    Better put Madison Avenue to work getting people to think skinny folks with protruding bellies are sexy! I can see it now – Wage Slave Barbie will be this year's new hot toy.

    1. JustPixelz

      If high income people should not pay higher taxes because they're "job creators", it's not a big leap to say they should pay NO taxes for the same reason. Your move Tea Party.

      1. RavenRant

        Maybe they could get a tax break after they prove they've actually created some jobs? And not in the Peoples Republic of China or the Peoples Republic of Vietnam, but here in the US.

    1. DahBoner

      Actually, too low taxes on corporations destroys jobs, because they have no economic incentive (high taxes) to encourage them to reinvest their profits back into the corporation, thus creating jerbs…

      1. KenLayIsAlive

        Please, no As Bible Erik tells us, no one works for the satisfaction of working, they just work for the money. Henry Ford didn't want to make all those cars, invent the assembly line, become a magnate, he just wanted enough to plow into the stock market.

    2. BarryOPotter

      "You can raise taxes on high earners, but you don’t solve any economic problem that way."

      Uh, one of the govt's problems is the lack of revenue growth. By raising taxes on the rich, the gov't would increase its top line growth, i.e., generate revenue. So, technically, that douche bag is wrong. Higher taxes on "high earners" solves that economic problem, plus it hits them where it hurts, so it's a two-fer…

  20. mavenmaven

    They used to say that lotteries and gambling were a tax on people who didn't understand math or statistics. Now they can add Repub "economics".

  21. mumbly_joe

    Tax the poorest 4/5ths at 95%! It will almost, but not quite, get you enough revenue as making sure the rich had to pay the 30-40% of income the rest of us pay right now!

    1. DahBoner

      "Tax the poorest 4/5ths at 95%!"

      Why be so generous to even pay poor people at all?

      //snort, snort

      1. mumbly_joe

        I feel like the West has tried that system once or twice before; we talked about it in History class, and I could swear that we had a word for that sort of system, but for the life of me, I can't remember what we called it.

    1. DahBoner

      The poors waste all their money on having a phone and a TV, instead of giving that money to insurance companies so they can pay their CEO's hundreds of millions…

  22. metamarcisf

    I actually read much of this dumb-ass screed on RedState yesterday until I realized what it was. It's the old "well if the democrats were CONSISTENT in their Alinsky beliefs, then they would raise taxes and then, while we might not agree with them, at least we would worship their integrity…" which is eaten up by some of the fat boys over there. What I want to know is what is this "Alinsky" of which they speak and does it go well with my shit sandwich?

  23. BZ1

    "There just aren’t enough rich people to buy candy and bubble gum for everyone else." That's right, we gotta make more rich people, great plan…. (sarcasm invoked, in case you weren't sure…)

  24. MissusBarry

    So, potential fetii and fetii seem to have a lot in common with potential jobs. The uncreated job must be protected at all costs, while rethugs don't give a flying fuck about a post-creation job (or the silly un-super-rich schmuk working it).

    It seems like I say this with such regularity: [insert, kochsucking asshole], fuck off and die.

    Edit: I know there's an inappropriately placed comma above, but I kinda like the effect.

  25. x111e7thst

    Sounds like another pusillanimous fratboy somehow escaped the course of beatings he so richly deserves and therefor feels a great need to mouth off.

  26. orygoon

    "Let’s challenge the Democrats on this one."

    Time for our especially elected officials (D-Spineless) to fold.

  27. SoBeach

    At least the guy making $10 mil a year has a reason to not to want his taxes raised.

    It's the talk radio fan making $25k a year who thinks it makes sense to lower taxes on the wealthy and raise them on everyone else who scares me.

    1. Rotundo_

      You have to love people who really believe that *they* should pay higher taxes so that the wealthy can make more money. Then those rich job creators are going to miraculously hire them and then they win. They really do believe. P.T. Barnum was right, and were he alive today would be partnered with Roger Ailes selling this shit to the masses (or is it them asses?).

      1. SoBeach

        They do it because they're willing to take a pounding if it means the shmuck a few rungs down takes an even bigger one.

  28. Chet Kincaid

    I call bullshit on any kind of wealthy CEO actually blogging on RedState. Why would he/she bother? This is just anonymous, false, credential-fluffing to impress the other mouthbreathers on that site.

    1. Gleem_McShineys

      Gosh, Chet, just because "Not intended to be a factual statement" is what powers 99.9% of what passes for Conservative thought, doesn't automatically mean this guy is a fake!

      WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING OPEN MINDED, LIBTARDUNATICS!?

    2. BlueStateLibel

      Yes, you're correct, this is some unemployed teatard living at home with Mom. You can usually tell on Internet boards who the real business owners are because they tend to say things like, "I hire people when demand for my products and services increases. Lowering taxes on the wealthy doesn't create demand."

    3. GOPCrusher

      Kind of like your prototypical Yahoo commenter that gnashes their teeth over the concept of people making over 250k a year pay more in taxes. Seriously? If you're bringing down 250K, you ain't spending your time hanging out on the Yahoo comment boards, let alone RedState, BigAsshole, Stormfront, etc.

    4. Ken Cuccinelli

      I'm gonna say that he probably has a skeevy Internet marketing business to either pay child support or to shut up his corporate-lawyer wife who complained he did nothing but sit at home all day and masturbate. Or both.

  29. Jerry Fjord

    And Republicans are still doing well with their base using 'thinking' along these lines? Okay, well good for them, I guess. Just…WOW. There must be a lot of folks who really hate the black guy in charge in order to swallow this much santorum.

  30. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You know, when you all whine and gripe about Obama and the Democrats, just remember this is what they have to negotiate with. Hell, After a few hours of this, wouldn't you rather just give in than have to deal with it any more? Basically the Republicans have adopted the Bush torture principals to all aspects of governments, not just messing with the Muslims.

  31. BTWBFDIMHO

    There just aren’t enough rich people to buy candy and bubble gum for everyone else.
    It's not that there not enough riches, but they're rich enough to buy candy and bubble gum.
    The top 20% of households earns 50% of the U.S. personal income (circa half of the GDP, or about $8 trillion). Let's say we tax the rich so their share of the cake would drop to 45%. That 5% of GDP taken from the rich would amount to $800 billion, enough to finance another stimulus package, and the rich would still be rich. Can we do it? Not with the hobbits in Congress.

    1. Come here a minute

      $800 billion in Juicy Fruit is enough for 25,000 sticks of gum per person. That would be a good deal. I'll take that deal.

    2. Monsieur_Grumpe

      Read in the voice of Saint Reagan.

      There you go again making sense with math, elitist think and stuff. Don't you know that government is the problem and not the solution?

      *Thunderous mindless applause*

  32. HelmutNewton

    “There’s class warfare, all right, but it’s my class, the rich class, that’s making war, and we’re winning.” – Warren Buffett

  33. sati_demise

    So, lets put a gambling tax on third party derivatives, Mr. Richy Rich. that is a 60 Trillion dollar market. Problem solved.

  34. WhatTheHeck

    Under the new guidelines, soon to be provided by the Dept of Homeland Securities and Excange, it would be a felony for someone making under $50k to marry outside of his/her monetary caste.

    1. DahBoner

      And as the ranks of the poor continue to swell, the revenue income to the rich will increase even more !!!

      //Fixed Since 1981…

  35. Darthhippy

    Why is that the rich get richer and poor get fucked. I mean the rich don't even have the curtosy for a reach around.

    1. DahBoner

      Why is that the rich get richer and poor get fucked?"

      Because something called "power laws" arise from the feedback introduced by "correlated decisions across a population"

      I.e., the rich get richer, because the playing field is not level, and they have more resources to use to get richer.
      http://www.cs.cornell.edu/home/kleinber/networks-

  36. sati_demise

    Let me get this straight: instead of investing money in the real economy and hiring people in good jobs (say in R&D, the sciences, health and education)

    they want to be able to take their record profits & continue to gamble in the commodities market, driving up the cost of food and fuel for everyone- and then they want to put a tax on those commodities on top of that? Bullshit.

    Go fuck yourself Mr. Wise CEO

  37. BlueStateLibel

    I still think there's plenty of rich people to hang, draw, and quarter. Which at this point, I am absolutely sure is going to happen.

  38. comrad_darkness

    That people get away with this is the sad stunner. Chisel the pathetic media in as the cause of the U.S. decline so future historians can know.

    90% of employment is services. Demand for services is driven by one thing and one thing only: Disposable income of the middle fucking class. The rich sucking down income at 300:1 relative to the average worker does actually rob the middle class not only of jobs, directly, but also of knock-on employment when better paid workers contract more services.

    Yeah, taxing the middle class and thereby reducing the disposable income of the middle class will increase employment. What a joke.

  39. anniegetyerfun

    "There just aren’t enough rich people to buy candy and bubble gum for everyone else."

    That's OK, we all have diabeetus anyway.

    1. genxr

      "Hey look! Thanks to these lower tax rates I have a million extra dollars. What should I do with it?"

      "Why don't you hire someone and create a job?"

      "That's a stupid idea."

  40. GOPCrusher

    "Plus, you kill job growth by wiping out their incentives to take on economic risk …"

    After ten years of tax cuts, when are we going to see these fuckers take on some economic risks, you know, like hiring people?

  41. DahBoner

    "Wise CEO Suggests Heavier Taxes On Poor People To Help Weary Rich People"

    Well, duh!

    Rich people don't get rich by spending their money on taxes, like stupid poor people do…

  42. Troglodeity

    Jesus: "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

    RedState: "There just aren’t enough rich people to buy candy and bubble gum for everyone else. Plus, you kill job growth by wiping out their incentives to take on economic risk."

    Jesus wept.

  43. DoktorThompson

    Isn't that one of the Beatitudes? Blessed are the rich, for the poor just want to buy candy and bubble gum.

  44. genxr

    "Plus, you kill job growth by wiping out their incentives to take on economic risk …"

    Yes, because having millions in an account earning dividends taxed at 15% is REALLY going to make me want to take a risk on starting a new business. Or maybe he expects them to hire people out of concern for the public good.

    No, you hire people when you need to make money. You go on vacation when you don't need to make money.

    Fucking teatards learned economics from watching cows fuck.

  45. SenileAgitation

    That dude is so wrong. Howard's Lavendar Gum is what rich people should hand out, it just smells like old money. It isn't that expensive.

  46. proudgrampa

    Goddammit. It's NOT the taxes that bother me. It's how the government SPENDS the revenue that pisses me off.

    Simple solution: put an end to US imperialism. Save a whole lotta money.

  47. Callyson

    Sure, raise taxes on the poor. That will just be another bill they won't be able to pay, hence no increase in revenue.
    Idiot.

  48. Wonderthing

    Poor people have tv's, though. They're not poor. I saw one driving a car today, "looking for work". If they can afford gas, they can afford a tax hike.

  49. ttommyunger

    I recall Elvis and Sinatra living pretty high on the hog while paying North of 90% of their income to Uncle Sugar. These whining pussyfarts just won't be happy until everybody but them is subsisting on cat food.

  50. Warpde

    What I want to know is how he can have Kock in his mouth, up his ass, ears, bodily entry way and type at the same time?
    Damn that's talent.
    I'd give him a thumbs up but apparently every hole is covered by Kock.

  51. DustBowlBlues

    OT–we're going to mostly cell phones. In the country in OK, we have limited coverage and I'm so fed up with ATT for failing to fix a phone for the past ten years that we've complained. It's gotten progressively worse, but it's cable and they're never going to dig it up. No profit in bullshit like that.

    I would have chosen Verizon, because of their coverage and the fact I'm pissed at ATT, but ATT it is. Verizon's on strike. Fuck CEOs and their overpaid corporate minions. Fuck them, fuck them, fuck them.

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