Rick Santorum Has Ideas About Making Healthcare Affordable

Hey all you whiny freeloading libruls, did you know that your health care costs are actually probably quite reasonable? This is our BREAKING NEWS brought to us by that yucky Rick Santorum, whose vast knowledge of Real America has led him to this incredible breakthrough : Cancer patients and other sick people, stop complaining about all your health care costs and just be happy you can pay someone to keep you alive , and also cancel your cell phones, because if you can afford a phone, you are not poor enough to complain about health care, the end.

During a meeting with the editorial board of the Des Moines Register on Friday, Rick Santorum said that people who can’t afford health care should stop whining about the high costs of medical treatments and medications and spend less on non essentials. Answering a question about the uninsured, Santorum explained that health care, like a car, is a luxury resource that is rationed by society and recalled the story of a woman who said she was spending $200 a month on life-saving prescriptions. Santorum told her to stop complaining and instead lower her cable and cell phone bills:

"I had a woman the other day who came up and complained to me that she has to pay $200 a month for her prescriptions…I said, in other words, this $200 a month keeps you alive, she goes yes. I said, and you’re complaining that you’re paying $200 a month and it keeps you alive? What’s your cable bill? I mean, what’s your cell phone bill? Because she had a cell phone. And how can you say that you complain that you have $200 to keep you alive and that’s a problem? No, that’s a blessing!"

So while you are sick and dying, be sure to cancel your phone plan and television so you can spend your time in bed, thanking God and Rick Santorum for the opportunity to pay an excessive amount of money to lie around in a room with no television and no phone. [ ThinkProgress ]