republican family values

Wisconsin GOP Lady Pol Proves Drunk Driving Not Just For Male GOPers

crashing through the glass ceiling is hard.Who says the GOP guys’ team gets to have all the DUI arrest fun these days? That is sexist of them. It’s not like Republican women aren’t also “pro-family values” sometimes, too! See, here we go: Amber Hahn is was a Wisconsin county GOP chair who went on Fox News not long ago to pose as a “random concerned parent” full of Panic and Outrage over the dangerous “pro-union propaganda” teaching of labor union history in public schools. Then Hahn drove her car around drunk until it crashed while her three children were also riding in the car. That’s a little bit terrifying and hypocritical, you might say! Eh, here is the thing about a “family values” politician, tho: danger to children only exists if it is utterly fictional. Real Danger does not count.

From the Wisconsin State Journal:

The chairwoman of the Republican Party of Columbia County resigned Friday after a drunken crash with her three children in her car.

Amber Hahn, 35, of rural Poynette, said she crashed her car Thursday night while driving drunk, but that no one was hurt and that no other vehicles were involved. The Columbia County Sheriff’s Office arrived at the scene from the OnStar alert in her car, she said.

Columbia County District Attorney Jane Kohlwey said the incident took place about 9 p.m. on Old B and Raddatz roads in the town of Springvale. Kohlwey, a Republican, said she asked a special prosecutor from Dane County to handle the case.

She resigned? We assumed this meant she was running for Congress. [Wisconsin State Journal]

Comments

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  • Tundra Grifter

    I'd say "real danger" would be rolling over in the morning and having those eyes staring at you.

    • PristinePantalones

      Sheesh, I'm not even in her goddamn bed and already I feel creeped out by teh KrayZLayDee eyes. Is this some sort of rural phenomenon of Amerikkka?

    • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

      Yeah, she def has that "we had a one night stand and now I'm driving across country in a pair of diapers and with a shotgun to come and say 'hi'" look in her eyes.

      • Tundra Grifter

        One of those young ladies who calls and calls and calls. And that's just the next morning.

        Pretty much until your phone melts.

    • RodneyBadger

      To be fair, she is drunk in that picture.

      • ShaveTheWhales

        And probably aware that she has just fucked up a bit.

    • AJWjr.

      Sadly for me, I'd hit that.

      • MissusBarry

        Aw, you can totally find yourself a nice drunk, but not meth-addicted, girl who doesn't bring her kids to the bar. Don't sell yourself short.

        • Tundra Grifter

          Some of my friends who grew up in San Francisco used to stand in front of the open door at a neighborhood bar and yell "Daddy! Daddy! Please come home! Mom is so worried!"

          Of course, their Dad was at work.

          • AJWjr.

            That one never worked for me, as my father tended bar down the street at the old Twin Peaks Tavern.

          • thedeathofirony

            The old Glass Coffin, as they called it in my days.

          • AJWjr.

            Got me curious, so I checked google maps. They've not only changed the name, but moved the bar! Used to be at 18th and Collingwood. Wonder what else has changed in the 45 years since I moved…

      • subsum

        You're not the only one.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Son, they just don't make beer goggles that thick.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Poor thing. If I had a face like that, I'd get drunk every night and try to kill my kids, too.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I'm getting a GEICO caveman vibe from her mugshot. Only really drunk.

        And I'm something of an expert on drunk cavemen.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

      Coyote ugly (adj.) Someone (U.S. pejorative slang) who is very ugly, nearly always applied to a non-canine female. "The woman was so coyote ugly that if I woke up with her sleeping on my arm, I would chew it off to get away". See Amber Hahn.

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      I love the Wonkette when I can just read the 1st comment, snort wine out my nose and go to sleep with a smile on my face :)

      • Tundra Grifter

        DJ: Thank you! The key to a satisfactory p-ness is being in the right position.

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      Bachmann/ Amber 2012…the Krazy Eyes is Watchin' YOU!

  • nounverb911

    A women GOP'er drunk? See the republicans really are the party of inclusion.

    • Sue4466

      To be a woman and a GOP'er would require a constant state of intoxication I would wager.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Can I just say that my love for your username has never waned? NEVER.

  • ThankYouJeebus

    Good thing that big government didn't force her to have those kids restrained or anything.

    • Sue4466

      But, good thing a GOP government would force her to have those kids.

  • Radiotherapy®

    Tits or GTFO.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    But she's a pretty good Mom.

    • LabRodent

      In that Susan Smith kind of way!

      • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

        I'm sure she'd argue that child safety restraints are the by-product of unconstitutional government over-reach.

        • Sue4466

          Guessing she's pro-choice when it comes to child safety restraints. But not so much the other kind.

    • PristinePantalones

      As long as you're not, you know, judging her by unreasonable standards, like not turning her kiddies into possible roadkill. Next, the sex tape.

  • nounverb911

    "Then Hahn drove her car around drunk until it crashed while her three children were also riding in the car."
    Hahn was just demonstrating the dangers of drunk driving to her kids.

    • Not_So_Much

      When it's time for the dangers of unprotected sex lesson….yikes.

    • arihaya

      she might unintentionally demonstrating the dangers of being a Republican to her kids

  • Come here a minute

    The stare is not quite vacant enough, and it's supposed to be a hooker, not your kids. I only give it a 3.

    • PristinePantalones

      She had difficulty finding a hooker who was willing to sit in a car full of stinky kid stuff, like the remnants of the last 437 Happy Meals she had to buy the little fuckers so they would get in the car with her. "C'mon, ya li'l shits, it's MOM!! I promise I won't kill ya!" No? Not maternal enough?

  • Buzz Feedback

    She needed the kids to hold the go cups.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Clearly this was the doing of the Union/Socialist Thugs who are trying to destroy Scott Walker.

    The conspiracy is deep. The conspiracy is very deep. We must all await further orders from the Tea Party and Glenn Beck to know how to prevent ourselves from coming under the influence of their secret alcohol rays!

    • Barrelhse

      She's a true hero.

    • scionkirk

      I'm not sure what true patriots in Washington can do to fight off the pro-union mind control rays, but I'm sure it has something to do with sniffing coke and sleeping with hookers

    • baconzgood

      Buy seeds, Cheap gold plated coins, and 5 copies of Overton Window. It's the only solution.

      • Dashboard_Jesus

        thanks for that, I never heard of Overton window before and have now spent/ wasted an hour googling/ reading about Glenn BecKKK and the douchebag Joe Overton who came up with this non-sense (i'm over 50 now and realize all the time how precious the years/ days/ minutes I have left are and yet I STILL go for this obscure idealogical shit…must be the booze?)

    • Whatever

      I'm dusting off/reshaping my tin foil hat as we speak.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Yum, alcohol rays! Please aim in my direction!

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    luckily the car was Union-made and there were no serious injuries to the kids.

    • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

      That is the hilarious -sad?- part about these folk, they are all proud to drive American SUVs but when I asked my poor, poor Teabagger Mom if it was because it supported decent hard working folk she said no.

      • Dashboard_Jesus

        oh my, your Mom is a POOR Teabagger, why I thought they were all rich? (my Mom is smart. she's a Republican and invested well so I don't have to worry about her movin' in with me when they take her SS away!)

    • BTWBFDIMHO

      You mean, she was riding an Audi, formerly known as Auto Union?

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      fucking WIN of the day! now I can FINALLY go to sleep :)

  • mirrorballdc

    Too bad Bobby Riggs is dead. This would make a killer Battle of the Sexes.

  • LabRodent

    That picture screams METH ADDICT.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      She should start a parenting group: Mommies with Mug Shots.

      • jus_wonderin

        Mother's Day In….the Pen.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Take Your kids to the Pen Day or Republican Womens' Club Meeting

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    She did real well on the Fox interview! She didn't seem surprised by Gretchen's bullet-pointed PowerPoint questions at all! She couldn't have been more calm and collected if her appearance had been rehearsed!

    What a loss for the GOP, but more importantly, what a loss for concerned parents everywhere. Who will be left to think of the children?

    • PristinePantalones

      Hopefully, the children have gotten clean away from Teh CrayCrayLayDee and are all safe,now.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Warren Jeffs? Oh, they caught him, didn't they? Well, I'm sure he's still thinking of children all the time.

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      librulz?

  • nounverb911

    "Then Hahn drove her car around drunk until it crashed while her three children were also riding in the car."
    Hahn was just giving home schooling drivers ed classes to her kids.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Man, Marcus Bachmann looks like shit. Somebody should tell him that orange is really not his color.

    • PristinePantalones

      What is that fey lad's colour, anyway? He seems to look awful no matter what he wears. Needs MOAR glitter.

    • Beowoof

      Way too skinny to be Marcus. Looks much more to be the prelude to a Newsweek cover.

  • Papa_Uniform

    Hey, if she was drinking Schlitz, it's case dismissed.

    • Barrelhse

      They only found 23 empties. Couldn't make a case out of that.

      • thebeatgoeson

        *rimshot*

        • 738838

          She couldn't take beer to the beach or she might get sand in her Schlitz.

  • Callyson

    Hahn is also a Poynette School Board member and volunteer firefighter.
    Personally, I'd think she would resign from *these* jobs, where drinking might be a problem, but keep the chair of the county GOP, where drinking is a requirement…

    • Beowoof

      Volunteer firefighters here in Upstate NY, tend like lots of festivals where drinking lots of cheap beer is a requirement. Pig roast anyone.

    • Rotundo_

      Loady McPantspooper shouldn't have resigned a thing. Binge drinking is a doG given right up here in Wisconsin, our liberal drunk driving laws keep fine citizens like Ms. Hahn on the road with the kids and keeping us on our toes. A couple of grand and a class and she will be fine. And think of the tales the kids can tell at family reunions: "Remember when mom got faced and rolled the Explorer? Puked like a fire hose didn't she? Bummer about the car, but man she could puke. I seen guys in the service that couldn't…….."

      • Dashboard_Jesus

        hahahaha, made me spew rum out my nose (ran outta wine)

  • baconzgood

    No one was hurt and that no other vehicles were involved. Meh, no blood no foul.

    • horsedreamer_1

      BAC Libel!!!

      • Negropolis

        MADD Libel!

        DWI Libel!

  • memzilla

    She's had too many Kochtails (ahem).

    • petehammer

      Well done.

    • Negropolis

      More like too many Rum & Kochs.

  • baconzgood

    "WILL SOME ONE PLEASE (hiccup) THINK OF THE CHILDREN"

    -Psudo Fox Pundent-

  • Nostrildamus

    Can't wait to see the next OnStar commercial.

    • Come here a minute

      Thank you OnStar, for getting me nailed for DWI, you bastards!

      I guess Big Brother is okay when it's a commercial Big Brother device, and not the gubmint.

      • elviouslyqueer

        I guess Big Brother is okay when it's a commercial Big Brother device, and not the gubmint.

        Um, hello: GOP chick —> using OnStar —> OnStar owned by GM —> GM received gubmint bailout muneez —> Obama oversaw gubmint bailout muneez –> Obama responsible for covertly orchestrating takedown of GOP chick.

        Now, all this needs is a link to the Muslin Caliphate, and the circle will be complete.

        • emmelemm

          Draw it on a chalkboard, and I'll believe it unconditionally!

          (Nicely done.)

        • anniegetyerfun

          "Alcohol" is an Arabic word. BAM.

        • anniegetyerfun

          I'm not saying that the OnStar logo looks just like Obama's Mooslamick Nukyular Security Summit logo, but I'm not saying it DOESN'T, either.

        • glamourdammerung

          I wondered how long it would take for someone to make the obvious "OnStar is only on GM vehicles" connection.

        • Dashboard_Jesus

          fuck you ARE a genius, and yes I'm still hopelessly in luv with you (but I'm still NOT gay ok?!)

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      OnStar Roadside Assistance: "OnStar Roadside Assistance, I see you've been in a crash, how may we assist you?"

      Amber Hahn: "I JUST WANT MY COUNTRY BACK!!11! NOBAMA OSAMA BIN SLACKING MADE ME DRIVE INTO A DITCH LOOKING FOR HOBOS TO BLOW!1!! WHERE ARE THE JOBZ!!!1!"

      • Nothingisamiss

        *hand over receiver* "Marge, I got me another drunk republican on the phone."

        • Rotundo_

          *hands over reciever* "Kids in the car, they're laughin' at her hangin' upside down and pukin'. Sounds like they're ok. Jeez, some people…"

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Must be a Dem.
    No flag pin on her orange prison jumper.

    • WhatTheHolyHeck

      Countdown until Fox airs a (D) next to her name.

  • mavenmaven

    She was letting Jesus drive.

    • SexySmurf

      "Jesus is my designated driver."

    • jus_wonderin

      "Jesus take the wheel"?

      • SorosBot

        Dear god, besides being horrible that song has got to have one of the most irresponsible, reprehensible messages I've heard.

        • jus_wonderin

          What's funny to me is her next hit had her taking a baseball bat to her exBF's "pretty little ride". On one hand, christian herione, on the other, jealous bitch is lethal. <g>

          • elviouslyqueer

            Or better yet, that one time, in Vegas.

          • mavenmaven

            Well, she doesn't know Jesus' last name either.

          • SexySmurf

            His last name is Christ, obviously. His middle name, though, is still a mystery; all we know is that it starts with an H.

          • Gunner Asch

            Hussein, of course.

          • elviouslyqueer

            Wait. I thought his middle name was "Fucking."

      • Dashboard_Jesus

        Dashboard Jeebus WTF?
        Billy Idol – Plastic Jesus http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F-5kpyD4cE

    • Negropolis

      Sounds to me like Jesus had too many spirits, pun fully intended.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    "Then Hahn drove her car around drunk until it crashed while her three children were also riding in the car."

    Joyriding, Kirsten. Why does Wonkette hate Joy™ (not to mention, Freedom™)?

    Oh, and I forgot: Holy Amber Alert, Batman!
    ~

  • baconzgood

    & she blames high taxes on the "Job creators" and Obama-care in 5…4…3…

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Marcus Bachmann is converting to LDS so he can marry this one, too.

  • memzilla

    Oddly enough, the only two-word anagram of "Amber Hahn" is "Hah, Barmen!"

    • gvvt

      Or "Heh, Barman!!!"

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Teaching the history of labor unions in the schools = immediate, real, awful danger to children.

    Driving drunk and smashing into things with a car full of kids = not so bad.

    Works for me.

    • memzilla

      Well, your avatar is The Order Of Lenin, her avatar is The Order Of Smirnoff.

      • Barrelhse

        Smirnoff? Is that like what SexySmurf does solo?

      • mumbly_joe

        In Soviet Russia, drunks drive you!

    • GravyBoyJohnson

      why are her children even in school? they should be working 16 hour days in a factory where their tiny hands can fit between the moving parts of a machine like they would have in the good old days. that would teach those dangerous unions a lesson.

    • finallyhappy

      Better Dead than Red!

  • Oblios_Cap

    So Jessica is obviously the pretty sister.

    • emmelemm

      Random obscure 80s reference of the morning! +1

      • finallyhappy

        Wow, I remember now!

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      fucking WIN! for most obscure reference of the day

  • lefty74

    Ossifer! I swear to drunk I'm not God!

  • petehammer

    If you were as hated as the GOP in Wisconsin, you'd probably try to kill yourself too.

  • horsedreamer_1

    The Hahn Sobriety. Or lack thereof.

  • neiltheblaze

    She may be a drunk – but that picture just screams "meth skank".

    • Barrelhse

      Glory holes, anyway.

    • PristinePantalones

      Not raddled with enough open weeping sores.

  • Lucidamente1

    OK, but how wide is her stance?

  • Oblios_Cap

    it's good that she's already picked out a porn name for her new career.

  • baconzgood

    With all these drunk GOPers lately I've developed a theory.

    They are self-medicating in order to live with the guilt of what they're doing to this country.

    • Steverino247

      That would mean they have a conscience and I'm not convinced of that.

      • Jukesgrrl

        Maybe it's an unconscious conscience.

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      What a coincidence! I'm also self-medicating over what they're doing to this country.

      • gvvt

        OBarmanCare

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Sure you're not confusing cause and effect?

    • SorosBot

      Really, it's probably a geographical thing – wingnuts primarily live in the country and exurbs, while liberals usually live in or near the cities; and people drink and drive a lot in the country, but not in the city where there are plenty of other ways to get around.

      • baconzgood

        Tell that to my former Probation officer.

      • horsedreamer_1

        No need for light-rail if you only drink light-beer.

      • PristinePantalones

        No wonder teh rednex h8 mass transport.

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      "It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society" ~ J. Krishnamurti

  • widestanceroman

    Liv Ullman stars in 'DUIs and Whispers.'

  • baconzgood

    If you think about it, her OnStar put her kids in foster care.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Hahn, 35, crashed her car Thursday night while driving drunk. No other vehicles were involved and fortunately no one was injured. Police were summoned by the car's On-Star call system.

    If it weren't for that newfangled lie-beral gadget, she could have just walked away and taught her kids a lesson in the GOP form of personal responsibility.

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      Instead of the "On-Star" device, she needs the IOKIYAR gizmo.

  • proudgrampa

    If my daughter endangered my grandchildren like that, I would go ballistic. Hell, if my daughter was a Republican, I'd go ballistic.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Seems appropriate, after she sent her car ballistic.

    • PristinePantalones

      No one would blame you.

    • LetUsBray

      Endangering children, being a Republican; potato, potahto.

  • SayItWithWookies

    This goes to show how egalitarian the Republican party is — she just shattered that glass ceiling windshield.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    To the Right, danger to children only exists when they are inside the womb.

    • Nothingisamiss

      Ain't that the damn fucking truth. I really am in no mood today. NO MOOD FOR THESE FUCKERS.

    • PristinePantalones

      Hey, once they're born, it's their parents' JERB to take care of them and quit whining to the taxpayer, geez.

  • Nostrildamus

    I blame Obama.

    • PristinePantalones

      Everybody else does too, so take a number and get in line.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Definitely an Amber Alert if she's on the road.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Needs moar Tigger costoom

  • jus_wonderin

    Aw, she looks just like a Hahn in the Deerlights.

  • GuanoFaucet

    Looks like someone can't Hahndle their fucking alcohol.

  • fuflans

    well to be fair, gotta get the kids home and out of the bar before bedtime.

    • jus_wonderin

      I guess that is right. I always hide mine under the bears in the claw machine.

    • horsedreamer_1

      "They tell me I shouldn't drink n' drive, but those kids have to get to school". — Dave Attell

  • Trannysurprise

    There's something wrong with Aunt Amber.

    • mayor_quimby

      Did you watch that fucking doc on HBO?? The problem with Dianne is she was drunk as fuck, high, and an irresponsible cunt. I don't know why the widower dad couldn't just accept that fact and call a spade a cunt, as it were.

      • finallyhappy

        I read about the film and decided I would not watch it. I read that they have done and redone the autopsy results and it proves she was drunk and high so why do a movie about this murdering bitch?

  • mumbly_joe

    I said before, "Pro-Life, except for the victims". It doesn't stop being a thing that's true, except I guess now we can add in "Pro Family Values, except for the victims" also too.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      No fetus was put at risk, so it's all OK.

      • MissusBarry

        Did they test? My freude could use some schaden in the form of her being preggers and miscarrying as a result of the crash. Also, too, I'm a mean person.

        • An_Outhouse

          plus the fetal alcohol syndrome.

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      Or as they say in the Repubican Platform, "… protect sacred life until it leaves the womb, then fuck it in the skull with crappy schools, unsafe jobs, no Social Security and the responsibility to support our billionaire patrons."

      • BlueStateLibel

        …and then drive around with the poor petrified kids in the backseat while you're stumbling drunk.

        • comrad_darkness

          Also, all the pesticide laden water they can drink.

  • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

    What, is Shelly giving her staring lessons? This is too much crazy GOP lady shit for me in a single day. Tone it down, Kirsten!

  • Fox n Fiends

    You can't be a dry-drunk like Beck and Bush unless you pay your dues first.

  • GregComlish

    Nice of the prison to find a jumpsuit that matches her Boehner-esq skin tone.

    • Ducksworthy

      It's the liver, in both cases.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    How does this impact Sarah?

    • GregComlish

      How do alcoholic, conservative, meth-heads impact Sarah Palin? Do you even have to ask?

    • Steverino247

      Unfortunately, there was no impact with Sarah Palin.

    • widestanceroman

      Let the poor woman catch her breath. She's forced to live with the media invading her books, TV shows, films, tweets, and prone-to-abort cross country tours.

      Can't she enjoy a little private life once in a while?

      • 102415

        And her fucking hair salon don't forget.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Palin bailed her out of jail because she thought Amber was a relative.

  • AlaskaGrrl

    And they have to bring in a DA from a different county? WTF? The republican DA has so little integrity as to not be able to prosecute a DUI case? What, only Democrats get tickets in that county? Man, that state is Koched up!

  • http://whatthefuckhasgopdonesofar.com/ Jerry Fjord

    I thought the problem with Washington was spending not drinking. Sorry, 'baggers, looks like you'll have to change what you attack.

  • Weenus299

    Fuck it's like the state hobby in Wisconsin. Layoffa her.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    I thought in Wisconsin drunk driving was considered a sport.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Only in the winter or any part of football season.

  • SorosBot

    But she's still pro-life! These were children, not fetuses, so they don't count.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Also: this occurred around 9 pm. Not anytime close to bar-close. This dame is keeping it real, Wisconsin-style.

    • baconzgood

      Now takin' her kids to the bar till close is Texas style.

      • Nothingisamiss

        Leavin' them in the car is what we'd do in Georgia.

        • PristinePantalones

          And still, there's a population problem.

        • Jukesgrrl

          In Arizona, we give 'em a gun to play with in the car.

          • horsedreamer_1

            That's the middle-school FSA programme: Future Surveyors of America.

  • samsuncle

    Another name to add to the Honor Roll of Republican Family Values.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    They told me beer would make me smart, since it made Bud wiser.

    • Barrelhse

      Sadder Budweiser.

  • smitallica

    Looks like Old Granddad almost got a death panel.

  • Goonemeritus

    See this is just what she was on about. Those Union cops clearly had it in for her.

  • http://writechic.wordpress.com/ writechic

    She's got a serious Chaka thing going on: http://www.bookmice.net/darkchilde/lost/land22/3….

    • Guppy06

      In her defense, when was the last time anybody ever had a flattering drunken mugshot?

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Kohlwey, a Republican, said she asked a special prosecutor from Dane County to handle the case.

    Special prosecutor? The President of the United States gets a special prosecutor; big deal political/security cases get one (the Scooter Libby/ Valerie Palme fiasco). Why does a simple drunken driving with your kids in the car get a special prosecutor?

    Republicans are fucked up but Wisconsin Republicans are really fucked up.

    • HedonismBot

      See, I had a different take. I actually thought maybe the Republican DA called in the special prosecutor so as to avoid a conflict of interest. But then, I have a bad habit of giving people too much credit.

      • glamourdammerung

        I figured they were more concerned about being implicated in something else illegal Hahn was doing that no one knows about yet myself.

        • Jukesgrrl

          You're my kind of paranoid.

          • glamourdammerung

            You call it paranoia, I call it past experience.

  • owhatever

    She's just a sinner and has already been forgiven. Now she can comb her hair, splash on some face paint and get ready for the cover of Newsweek. Another Teabagger star is born.

  • Radiotherapy®

    Just another sexist attack by the liberal media on a conservative woman.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Bud libel.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    A crime in Wisconsin where cannibalism isn't involved is rather unique. You better bookmark this one for future reference.

    • PristinePantalones

      I thought Jeffrey Dahmer was in Minnesota. There were cannibalistic serial killers in Wisconsin too?

      • finallyhappy

        I think it was Milwaukee

        • ShaveTheWhales

          You're right. Also, some years before Jeffey, there was Ed Gein (tho he was upstate).

  • http://theblueelite.blogspot.com simplyblue7

    clearly this makes her eligible to be president of the united states.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Republican candidates have to wreck cars AND planes.

  • Steverino247

    I'd love to be the family law attorney representing her husband/father of the kids. Slam dunk!

  • Pragmatist2

    If it was 1 A.M. and I saw this woman drunk in a bar, you know what I would do?
    I would RUN for my life.

    • PristinePantalones

      Honey, that's how come she got busted. She was chasing down the last runner.

  • Barrelhse

    If she raises her arms in supplication, dances trance-like in the aisles, and spread-eagles on the floor (as we all do), I feel certain that all will be forgiven.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Looks like she's been drinking more or less continuously since the Packers won the Super Bowl.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Havn't we all?

      • ShaveTheWhales

        I know I try to do my part.

  • Guppy06

    Children don't matter after they're born.

  • metamarcisf

    Is this the outtake from the Bachmann Newsweek sessions?

  • Eve8Apples

    That's my kinda porn – photos of drunk, disoriented, dissheveled teatards in orange prison outfits — Can't get enough of 'em.

  • Guppy06

    The Republican solution would be to ban women from driving, instead requiring that a male relative drives them. It's what Jesus would do.

    • MissusBarry

      But, but, creeping sharia. Nevermind, they probably wouldn't recognize the irony.

      • Guppy06

        They're not called "Talibangelicals" for nothing!

    • emmelemm

      That's some Handmaid's Tale shit, right there.

  • DaRooster

    "Mommy, can you not hit that tree?"
    "I know what I'm do…"

  • x111e7thst

    Sometimes you have to crash your kids into a tree to save them from the unions. It is true, unions are THAT scary!

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    I bet she only uses incandescent lighting in her home too!

    • AJWjr.

      I would too, if I was her. It's obvious the police station uses fluorescents, and she looks terrible!

  • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

    GOP now has a two drink minimum.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Just like the Jason Bonham concert at the Rave/Eagles's Club in Milwaukee.

    • PristinePantalones

      Obviously, she went way over and above the minimum, heah.

  • Goonemeritus

    Am I the only one that thinks her mug shot looks presidential than Bachmann looks in her Newsweek photo?

  • Sparky_McGruff

    I'm not sure I understand. How is Sarah Palin the real victim here?

  • alzronnie

    "…crashed while her three children were also riding in the car."

    She did it for the children–how else are they going to learn about the evils of drunk driving?

  • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

    I'd hit that. With my car while drunk.

    • PristinePantalones

      I'd cheer you on from the sidelines.

  • Rosie_Scenario

    This is a better photo than Michele B. on Newsweek.

  • http://thefastertimes.com/absurdnews/ inapewetrust

    typical nanny state overreach, dictating to parents how drunk they should or shouldn't be while they drive their OWN CHILDREN around on public roads. government needs to LEAVE PARENTS ALONE and just stick to hastening the demise of poor people and forbidding various sexual techniques

  • Thurman Munster IV

    She wants a special prosecutor from liberal Dane Co so she can scream persecution when she gets convicted.

  • Redhead

    Please – that's not a woman. Her five o'clock shadow is darker than Ann Coulter's.

  • Beowoof

    Too bad she isn't in New York, here it is a felony to drive drunk with the kids in the car. Mommy has to go away for awhile.

    • finallyhappy

      I wonder if that is the law in Maryland- if not, I am going to bring it up with my legislators

  • zappadoo76
    • DashboardBuddha

      Not much better

    • elviouslyqueer

      She's got the same clenched, pine-tree-up-the-butt expression as does Shelley. Are these bitches not familiar with Activia?

  • An_Outhouse

    What did your elitist parents do with you on Friday night? Take you to the movies or something? Real 'Murkins tool around with their drunk parents for fun.

    • finallyhappy

      We had to do the whole Shabbas thing- we didn't go anywhere except to walk to services

  • DashboardBuddha

    See what happens when God is your co-pilot?

    • Barrelhse

      Let Go and Let God.
      heh.

  • comrad_darkness

    She looks like a public service announcement.

    Friends don't let friends become hypocritical goopers.

  • BlueStateLibel

    And now we'll hear some black guy forced her to get drunk and then drive her three kids around in 1, 2, 3…

  • anniegetyerfun

    We Dems can't do this because we only like children when there are a million of them, and we can't fit that many into our Priuses.

  • HedonismBot

    "Kohlwey, a Republican, said she asked a special prosecutor from Dane County to handle the case."
    DUI? Shmee-UI. Family values? Shmamily Shmalues. To me, the quote above is the only interesting thing about the story, because it re-affirms my belief that "conflict-of-interest" still counts as a thing (to be avoided,) and apparently Ms. Kohlwey agrees. My heart is warmed.

  • hagajim

    If I were a Republican I'd be constantly drunk too…it would be the only way I could look at myself in the mirror every morning.

  • glamourdammerung

    When the best thing the GOP can do for the upcoming recalls is hide their governor and hope everyone somehow forgets what aggressively stupid jerks they were in order to win, drinking heavily might be in order.

  • glamourdammerung

    The drinks were clearly liberal plants, there to make a good conservative look bad!!!1111!!

    The children too!!!11111!!!

  • zappadoo76
  • DashboardBuddha

    So…that's what a republican looks like without the face that Satan gave her.

    • jus_wonderin

      Satan haz a sad.

  • DashboardBuddha

    Great…another Briebart fuckwad is following me. sigh

    • glamourdammerung

      Same one, new account. Again. They are stalking me as well.

      • jus_wonderin

        Yeah. Me too. He is asking why the downfist is gone, like I run the site(?).

        He/She is a doof.

        • glamourdammerung

          They must have a pretty miserable excuse for a life when the best/only thing they have to do is stalk folks on this site.

          • jus_wonderin

            I “engaged” him last night asking “why the eff he changes his screenname so much?” I don't get that. It is as if the name he picks is to enrage, thus he likes to be a prickly prick.

          • DashboardBuddha

            How do you engage someone here…is there a chat site that I don't know about?

          • jus_wonderin

            Nah, I just wrote back asking why he was following me. Its just strange since we don't share a wit of ideology.

          • glamourdammerung

            Even more odd in my case since I would have been considered a conservative until they went full retard.

  • zappadoo76

    Here's what Newsweek did to Sarah Palin. Republicans complained because it was "unretouched," so you can see all her zits and stuff.

    • jus_wonderin

      Geez, blow that up and her lip looks like the forest moon of Endor.

  • lmw777

    Laura Bush was supposed to be Ms. Hahn's designated driver.

  • SaintRond

    Dog face cunt.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    If that guy shaved, trimmed his hair a bit and put on a shirt with a collar he would look a lot better.

    • Barrelhse

      "If my dog was that ugly I'd shave his ass and make him walk backwards."

  • CalamityJames

    Kohlwey, a Republican, said she asked a special prosecutor from Dane County to handle the case.

    What fucking case?! She was driving drunk. With her kids in the car.

    If she had been black or messican or Mel Gibson, she'd be in the chair by now.

  • kiska30

    YES!!!!!

  • kiska30

    Rebel Girl! Rebel Girl! Rebel Girl, you are the Queen of my world!

  • Warpde

    Little on the serious here.
    My son wrapped our 2009 Fit around a T pole a couple years ago.
    Had 2 friends riding with him.
    Even though the Police and Emergency crews walked to the car figuring everyone was dead they all made it out.
    He was drunk.
    6 months later a good friend of his didn't take his advice to take a Cab from the pub to our house..
    He ran off the highway, hitting a T pole. He was also drunk.
    His girlfriend went through the front window and died on impact. The 2 in the back were like my son and friends before…damn lucky. He was in a coma for weeks and lost his leg.

    So as far as Amber Hahn goes……with her children in the car?
    Fuck You Amber.

  • LakeLucilleLoon

    "…drove her car around drunk until it crashed". I'd say it sound like the car's fault. Car got drunk, car crashed. End of story.

  • lulzmonger

    You uphold Traditional USAian Family Values with the version of "suffer the little children" you have, not the version of "suffer the little children" you WISH you had.

  • LakeLucilleLoon

    Also, that unflattering mugshot is kind of sexist, doncha think?

  • rocktonsam

    and some Ed Shultz guy is in Madison

    don't help please

    you better fricking vote Wisconsin

  • LetUsBray

    John Stossel's been campaigning to get rid of drunk driving laws. So here's her chance to rehabilitate her image, to go on his show and take her case to dozens and dozens of people!

  • Quayle2012_KNOT

    Click the link and you'll discover she explained, "It's clear to me now that I have lost focus and am trying to do too much." Spoken like a true Gingrich supporter and pillar of the Teatard "cause." Can't wait for tomorrow's recalls.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Yeah, that's also my problem — I'm TOO good.

  • Negropolis

    …and that no other vehicles were involved.

    This is the best part. As if crashing into some stationary object with your kids in the car is somehow better than not being able to miss another car.

    That's luck, lady, not something that you did or had any control over.

    • HistoriCat

      You're assuming that pole was stationary! They're tricky devils I tell you.

      • Negropolis

        Stationary poles have a liberal bias, I hear.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      And the reason no one was hurt may well be those fucking government-mandated airbags that drive the price of cars up so much.

  • RedAmanda

    One look at that vixen makes my little thing go soaking wet. Oh why wasn't I there to drink her urine test???

  • ttommyunger

    In a local press conference, her attorney announced that his client only drinks and drives with her children in the car because she loves America so much.