JOURNAMALISMZ  11:54 am August 8, 2011

Newsweek Puts Another Insane Shrill GOP Female Politician On the Cover

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

but how to make the journalism monies these days?“Congratulations” or whatever you say these days to shameless political tabloids when they use a horrorporn photo of Michele Bachmann’s vacant stare to terrorize America’s grocery store checkout lines. Here is the strange part: this is a photo of Michele Bachmann totally asleep! Haha, just kidding, we do not know what she is doing here, but that probably isn’t far off. She is most likely just enjoying the morphine drip and fistful of “migraine pills” that she is always mainlining on any given day. She is also apparently “full of rage” in this photo according to the caption, which strangely is probably the only emotion we would not attribute to Michele in this photo. Our first thought was more like, “brain dead.”

Oh right, and here is your Sexist Sarah Palin Newsweek Cover for the “compare and contrast” essay.

Uh, and some pointless earnest commentary from WaPo:

Where on earth is she looking this time? [Bachmann advisor Ed] Rollins has the candidate under control. He now has to get this aspect of her image under control. It’s as if someone is dangling a treat (or maybe it’s a line of Scripture) to get her to look at the camera the way a photographer tries to get a kid to focus on class picture day. The Newsweek piece by Lois Romano delves into Bachmann’s status as queen of the Tea Party movement and how her history contradicts many of her policy ideas. There’s no denying that Bachmann firmly believes what she believes. Some might think she’s crazy because of it. Cover photos like this one help to cement that image.

[TwitPic/ Washington Post]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 257 comments }

ManchuCandidate August 8, 2011 at 11:56 am

The caption should be: "The Shocker."

ifthethunderdontgetya August 8, 2011 at 12:04 pm

You mad? bad!
~

MLHencken August 8, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Two in the…

Oh God, I just can't bring myself to do it with that thing staring at me!

Barrelhse August 8, 2011 at 1:08 pm

This is my favorite story from the category "The Shocker". http://www.rotten.com/library/language/the-finger

DahBoner August 8, 2011 at 1:46 pm

The caption should be: "The Shocker. You'd Have to Be Crazy AND Gay to Tap This"

assistantatlas August 8, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Or maybe "The Perils of Too Much Plastic Surgery."

Rarian Rakista August 8, 2011 at 3:12 pm

I am sure she has a Koch or two up her.

Barrelhse August 8, 2011 at 8:58 pm

Yeah, old DP Bachmann. We used to call her "Fingerbowl" back in Junior High.

Dr_pangloss August 9, 2011 at 6:34 am

It's full of Stars.

nounverb911 August 8, 2011 at 11:56 am

The Horror! The Horror!

DaRooster August 8, 2011 at 11:56 am

That bitch just CANNOT look at the fucking camera!

FNMA August 8, 2011 at 11:58 am

Fucking contraption will steal her soul.
Petty theft in this instance.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 8, 2011 at 12:01 pm

That's true for all vampires.

hagajim August 8, 2011 at 12:02 pm

That's because she is afraid it will steal her soul…oh, wait, too late.

LabRodent August 8, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Solution: Have two Cameras take her picture at the same time. One in the distance where she actually looks and a fake one in front of her as a prop.

KenLayIsAlive August 8, 2011 at 1:54 pm

That's just how she is used to Marcus looking at her.

"Sorry Michele, I, uh, have to work late at the clinic again tonight." *averts eyes*

LetUsBray August 8, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Too many bad experiences with little glass shards flying everywhere, and her mad, unblinking eyes unprotected.

PristinePantalones August 8, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Her right eye is looking at it just fine! It's her left eye that's the problem.

donner_froh August 8, 2011 at 11:56 am

They nailed the crazy eyes part. Looks a little more insane than usual.

Barrelhse August 8, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Wheeeeeeeeeeee!!

Maman August 8, 2011 at 1:11 pm

That's the botox. She looks constant surprised.

PristinePantalones August 8, 2011 at 5:21 pm

I thought it was the eye surgery. All the pubbies seem to get that lid lift to give them that "kraykray eye" look. They think it makes them look young and alert, when actually it makes them look downright insane.

nounverb911 August 8, 2011 at 11:57 am

Looks like someone just shoved her titanium spine up her butt.

SaneCatLady August 8, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Whoops! Just found that gerbil Marcus lost!

nounverb911 August 8, 2011 at 2:04 pm

I thought that was on Donald Trump's head.

PristinePantalones August 8, 2011 at 5:23 pm

I'm just not buying her "titanium spine" bullshit. She runs screaming and crying from old lady nuns, for crisake. Real brave, Mishmash!

elviouslyqueer August 8, 2011 at 11:58 am

Oh you meanies, LEAVE SHELLEY ALONE!!11!!!!!11!!!*

*This comment is approximately 1,000% ironic

Guppy06 August 8, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Blood libel!

freakishlywrong August 8, 2011 at 11:58 am

Jesus Christ. Jared Laughner's psycho mug shot is less scary.

nounverb911 August 8, 2011 at 11:59 am

And he looks more intelligent.

MissusBarry August 8, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Well, I kinda feel better that he popped into somebody else's mind, too.

BlueMonkeh August 8, 2011 at 11:58 am

Ugly is as ugly does.

teebob2000 August 8, 2011 at 11:58 am

On Morning Joe they likened the photo to this…
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0405422/

hagajim August 8, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Not even close!

Kidneys4Sale August 8, 2011 at 12:03 pm

I was gonna go more with the snaggle-tooth shark in Strange Wilderness, but that works, too.

AJWjr. August 8, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Thinking more like this.

SaneCatLady August 8, 2011 at 1:22 pm

I was thinking more like this: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081505/

Limeylizzie August 8, 2011 at 1:27 pm

MrLimeylizzie worked on that movie and we have a huge bathtowel, which I use frequently, with that picture on it, does this mean that I am wrapping my body in Michele on a regular basis?

BerkeleyBear August 8, 2011 at 2:44 pm

No, he looks happy and hopeful – she just looks insane.

Rarian Rakista August 8, 2011 at 3:11 pm

I was thinking more of Charles Manson during a parole hearing.
http://bit.ly/oEdbJm

PristinePantalones August 8, 2011 at 5:30 pm

I'm so upfisting that. He really does look like MishMash.

Kgprophet August 8, 2011 at 5:22 pm

Michelle's the 50 year old virgin!

PristinePantalones August 8, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Oh, no, that guy looks sweet and nice and inoffensive, geeze. Bachmannitis, OTOH, looks like she's millimeters from having a bird spring out of her skull screaming "Cuckoo!" repeatedly till she bashes it back in with a baseball bat.

donner_froh August 8, 2011 at 11:58 am

There’s no denying that Bachmann firmly believes what she believes.

The quality of prose that made the Washington Post what it is today.

SpurningBeer August 8, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Tautologies are tautological.

DahBoner August 8, 2011 at 1:44 pm

"Bachmann firmly believes what she believes. "

That's just the estrogen talking.

Boredw/Gravitas August 8, 2011 at 11:59 am

"Look deeply into my eyes…. when I snap my fingers, you will bark like a dog."

DaRooster August 8, 2011 at 12:02 pm

"And take it in the ass like your husband."

PristinePantalones August 8, 2011 at 5:31 pm

She doesn't need hypnosis for that.

MissusBarry August 8, 2011 at 11:59 am

That creepy-vacant look reminds me of Jared Loughner, just a little skinnier and with eyebrows.

hagajim August 8, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Maybe Jared was one of her foster kids?

MissusBarry August 8, 2011 at 12:08 pm

It would explain a lot.

LabRodent August 8, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Newsweek smeared Michelle Bachmann by publishing a picture she supplied and posed for.
Liberal Rag.

mourningnmerica August 8, 2011 at 12:17 pm

The only smears that 'chele has a problem with are of the Government paid pap variety.

petehammer August 8, 2011 at 2:24 pm

This falls right into the Newt Gingrich "you can't quote what I said!"

DAMN YOU FACTS AND HISTORY!

dancesw_cougars August 8, 2011 at 6:10 pm

That tricksy photographer. He said "just smile naturally", and we did precious, oh yes we did.

nounverb911 August 8, 2011 at 12:00 pm

I thought Marcus Bachmannn was the "Queen of Rage".

Native_of_SL_UT August 8, 2011 at 12:43 pm

He's actually a "Silver Fox", which he apparently thinks is code for "gay".
From a New Yorker piece:

Marcus Bachmann plopped down on the seat next to me, in the back of the plane. He pointed at my laptop and asked if he could take a look. “All I want to know is what they’re saying about me,” he said. “Newsweek came up with the word ‘silver fox.’ Tell me what ‘silver fox’ means.”

“Do you want me to tell you honestly?” I asked.

“Oh, don’t tell me it’s something gay!” he said. “Because I’ve been called that before.” Marcus is a psychologist who runs a clinic that employs people Michele described in 2006 as “Biblical world-view counsellors,” who “reach out and try to bring the medicine of the Gospel to come and heal people.”

GregComlish August 8, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Oh what a gem! I can't believe that is the first I've heard of this.

"Mac OS X? Never heard of it. Probably some sort of gay operating system for gay people which I would know nothing about because I am definitely not gay. I run windows which compliments my innate heterosexuality and biblical world view."

Ohforcripessake August 8, 2011 at 12:00 pm

"I am so high!"

hagajim August 8, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Is it just me…or does she look like the fat kid in school and someone is dangling a Twinkie just out of reach….those crazy, crazy eyes.

Goonemeritus August 8, 2011 at 12:01 pm

That’s her just woke up from a fugue state clutching a length of pipe covered in someone else’s blood look.

mog253 August 8, 2011 at 2:31 pm

I hate it when that happens.

BlueMonkeh August 8, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Oh, and Crazy Lady looks crazy. Scoop!

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 8, 2011 at 12:02 pm

I'm pretty sure that is the look she gives whenever her husband "accidentally" tries to have the buttsex with her.

HobbesEvilTwin August 8, 2011 at 12:07 pm

I'm pretty sure the only buttsex Marcus has is with underage boys. Not that there's anyth– oh, wait, yes there is a lot wrong with that.

Guppy06 August 8, 2011 at 1:01 pm

"Remember, 'Chele: Jesus says you have to submit!"

samsuncle August 8, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Have you noticed how her eyes seem to follow you around the room?

Poindexter718 August 8, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Except when I have a camera pointed at her…

deanbooth August 8, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Odd — I've noticed how her eyes don't follow me around the room.

Barrelhse August 8, 2011 at 11:38 pm

Yes, and we're triplets.

freakishlywrong August 8, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Doesn't that just scream "Presidential Portrait"? Or maybe it just screams.

nappyduggs August 8, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Didn't you?

AJWjr. August 8, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Edvard Munch wept.

DahBoner August 8, 2011 at 1:42 pm

President of her mental ward.

YasserArraFeck August 8, 2011 at 3:26 pm

Actually, it totally screams "Get the restraints in here!! NOW!!!"

PristinePantalones August 8, 2011 at 5:35 pm

More Munch than anything.

littlebigdaddy August 8, 2011 at 12:02 pm

But how does this affect Sarah Palin?

nounverb911 August 8, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Makes her look almost sane?

Redhead August 8, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Newsweek Cover libel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FlownOver August 8, 2011 at 12:02 pm

My dog gets the same look on her face when I say "Biscuit?"

Geminisunmars August 8, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Mine looks that way when he hasta go out.

gullywompr August 8, 2011 at 12:14 pm

I was just about to say, she looks like she was lifted from a painting of dogs playing poker

DashboardBuddha August 8, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Wow…the line between a smile and a grimace is thinner than I thought.

Geminisunmars August 8, 2011 at 12:02 pm

should be Queen of Strange.

neiltheblaze August 8, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Czarina, even!

Guppy06 August 8, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Well, it's certainly strange to Marcus…

EatsBabyDingos August 8, 2011 at 12:03 pm

I've seen more life in death masks. Can you Botox a whole skull?

MLHencken August 8, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Welcome to reality, sometimes its hard.

DahBoner August 8, 2011 at 1:41 pm

That pussycat done sailed.

Barrelhse August 8, 2011 at 11:40 pm

Do you ever find it hard in the morning?

MLHencken August 9, 2011 at 7:45 am

Almost always. But not when I have to look at something like the above. That's a guaranteed shriveler.

WhatTheHeck August 8, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Not so much a Queen, more like the Joker's wild.

dr_giraud August 8, 2011 at 12:12 pm

She's confused because 3 devils just came up.

Angry_Marmot August 8, 2011 at 12:20 pm

"Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for… It's all a monstrous, demented gag. So why can't you see the funny side? Why aren't you laughing?"

DaRooster August 8, 2011 at 12:03 pm

"I love Oxycontin!"
.
.
.
(So does Michelle)

Guppy06 August 8, 2011 at 1:17 pm

I love that album!

Oh, wait…

MLHencken August 8, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Well folks, now we know what she looks like without makeup.

And CGI.

MissusBarry August 8, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Wonder if they 'shopped out the drool.

Jerry Fjord August 8, 2011 at 12:05 pm

This is VERY good news for Thad McCotter!

nounverb911 August 8, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Who?

Jerry Fjord August 8, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Aww, nertz!

Negropolis August 8, 2011 at 11:35 pm

There is no such thing as good news for Thad McCotter. Not ever.

Chet Kincaid August 8, 2011 at 12:06 pm

This is the youngest and healthiest Ozzy Osbourne has looked in years!

ManchuCandidate August 8, 2011 at 12:16 pm

Crazy Train…

Guppy06 August 8, 2011 at 12:40 pm

Trains are communist! More like "Crazy Sheburban"

V572 Coif of Destiny August 8, 2011 at 12:06 pm

That was the easy part. Now take a jouney deep into Miche1e's brain:

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/08/15/110

Warning: Not safe for the faint of heart. Involves statements like “Jefferson Davis and John C. Calhoun understood the Constitution better than did Abraham Lincoln and Daniel Webster.”

And cargo pants. On Shelley.

SorosBot August 8, 2011 at 12:27 pm

She's worse than we thought; among other things she follows a preacher who doesn't want to take us back to the 1950s or the 19th Century, but all the way back to the 13th Century:

Schaeffer’s film series consists of ten episodes tracing the influence of Christianity on Western art and culture, from ancient Rome to Roe v. Wade. In the films, Schaeffer—who has a white goatee and is dressed in a shearling coat and mountain climber’s knickers—condemns the influence of the Italian Renaissance, the Enlightenment, Darwin, secular humanism, and postmodernism. He repeatedly reminds viewers of the “inerrancy” of the Bible and the necessity of a Biblical world view. “There is only one real solution, and that’s right back where the early church was,” Schaeffer tells his audience.

V572 Coif of Destiny August 8, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Stinkin Renaissance is the cause of all of today’s problems. Let’s all go out in the desert and eat locusts and wild honey until we have visions or get stung to death.

SorosBot August 8, 2011 at 12:51 pm

And what's with that anti-Biblical process of "sanitation" to keep the Black Death from spreading instead of prayer?

(It's also kind of ironic coming from a born-again fundamentalist Protestant, since without the Renaissance there would be no Martin Luther and they'd still be Catholic).

Chet Kincaid August 8, 2011 at 12:37 pm

"God damn the Renaissance!!!"

BeWoot August 8, 2011 at 1:47 pm

And of course, the funny part is, at the time of "the early church" the Bible had not yet been invented.

horsedreamer_1 August 8, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Sounds like T. Herman Zwiebel.

BeWoot August 8, 2011 at 1:42 pm

"Shoot, aim, score!"

Thanks for that link, Coif. I feel much better now.

NorthStarSpanx August 8, 2011 at 2:07 pm

If Ed Rollins, as Bachmann’s campaign manager has the cajones to speak ill of his own:

Ross Perot (“a paranoid lunatic on an ego trip”)

And of other 'powerful' women:

Arianna Huffington (“the most ruthless, unscrupulous, and ambitious person I’d met in thirty years in national politics”).

When's he going to roll out that high powered perception on the outdoor Michelle Bachmann, Sarah Palin?

ifthethunderdontgetya August 8, 2011 at 12:06 pm

The War Criminal Post and Newsweek are still joined at the hip, aren't they?

(Or somewhere around there.)
~

Chet Kincaid August 8, 2011 at 12:10 pm

No. See "Daily Beast."

V572 Coif of Destiny August 8, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Ah, well, Newsweek needed a shot of credibility from Tina Brown. Look what she did for the New Yorker.

ifthethunderdontgetya August 8, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Doh!

Well, you see, the donkey cart carrying that news out to Ohio fell off the Appalachian trail near Big Savage Mountain, and that's my story.

P.S. They don't seem to have gotten any better (they, referring to both the War Criminal Post and Newsweek).

P.P.S. This is the P.S. I was going with, until I forgot:

IACI 36.89 Last -1.45
~

Barrelhse August 8, 2011 at 11:42 pm

They ought to be joined at the wrists and ankles.

MLHencken August 8, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Caption: "Can you see my skull yet?"

nounverb911 August 8, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Unfortunately, no.

Angry_Marmot August 8, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Michele Bachmann: the memento mori of popular democracy.

Angry_Marmot August 8, 2011 at 12:07 pm

This is what happens when Good Housekeeping hires Ralph Steadman to do the cover.

V572 Coif of Destiny August 8, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Ah, yes

Angry_Marmot August 8, 2011 at 12:26 pm
Negropolis August 8, 2011 at 11:36 pm

And, Ralph Wiggum, also.

dr_giraud August 8, 2011 at 12:08 pm

If this is the best they have, attendance is gonna be way down at Madame Tussauds.

mavenmaven August 8, 2011 at 12:08 pm

OK, Michele, you can take the butt plug out now.

elviouslyqueer August 8, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Invisible dildo, ACTIVATE!

PristinePantalones August 8, 2011 at 5:15 pm

My version says "Voodoo dildo, MY ASS!"

And it's a cop saying it.

AJWjr. August 8, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Is that all that's keeping the crazy inside? In that case, leave it in!

Gleem_McShineys August 8, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Yes! Keep the Bachmanntorum in.

Rarian Rakista August 8, 2011 at 3:04 pm

Maybe its the same butt plug they used on the island in the Lost Finale.

God damn that pissed me off, magical effin' glowing butt plug after 6 seasons.

PristinePantalones August 8, 2011 at 5:15 pm

I don't think it's gonna be that easy to separate Marcus from Michele.

freakishlywrong August 8, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Have the conservatards started whinging about the librul media yet? Because one of their candidates looks, (is) certifiable? I can't read that shit anymore, I really can't.

Chet Kincaid August 8, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Of course!

neiltheblaze August 8, 2011 at 12:10 pm

So the mainstreaming of Shelly "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann continues apace. Thanks again, Newsweek, for all that you do!

gullywompr August 8, 2011 at 12:11 pm

I think she's prayed her brain away

Barrelhse August 8, 2011 at 11:43 pm

Bless her heart.

Texan_Bulldog August 8, 2011 at 12:11 pm

This is the picture I'm going to show my kids to prove their is a bogey[wo]man who will come out from under their beds if they don't eat their damn vegetables!

starfanglednut August 8, 2011 at 3:05 pm

'Vegetables" are a liberal conspiracy to have government control our lives.

Rarian Rakista August 8, 2011 at 3:05 pm

I am pretty sure they would believe you that this woman would eat their souls too.

PristinePantalones August 8, 2011 at 5:14 pm

That might cross the line into child abuse. I mean, *I'm* scared shitless of her and I'm a tough Old.

smitallica August 8, 2011 at 12:11 pm

She's not entirely full of rage. There's plenty of room in there for stupid.

PristinePantalones August 8, 2011 at 5:13 pm

I thought the deal was that among all those sinusoid spaces crammed to the brim with Stupid, the only other thing that managed to survive was a thick, streaming clot of rage. Sort of like blood seeping from a heart, or peanut-butter-and-jelly-in-a-jar, hm.

SayItWithWookies August 8, 2011 at 12:12 pm

What the freakin' hell — did they do that on purpose, or was this simply the best shot she took? It looks like they joined the DNA of Gerald Ford and that Colon Cleanse lady and then electrocuted her.

Whatever August 8, 2011 at 3:55 pm

Damn it!!! Now I'll be stuck with that image all day.

Sue4466 August 8, 2011 at 12:12 pm

The problem with Bachmann is not the Newsweek cover. Really.

widestanceroman August 8, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Usually, this look is accompanied by a whispered: "dude, can you tell?"

kissawookiee August 8, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Does anybody remember Star Trek: The Motion Picture and the endless hours of slack-jawed-gaping-at-the-wonders-of-VGer "acting" it foisted upon the world? I think Michele just busted out the LaserDisc player.

x111e7thst August 8, 2011 at 12:14 pm

How many facelifts has this woman had?

Chillwaver August 8, 2011 at 12:21 pm

All of them, Katie!

(Sorry, but somebody had to say it).

DahBoner August 8, 2011 at 1:39 pm

How deep is the ocean, grasshopper?

102415 August 8, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Not enough. Not nearly enough.
Anyway botox is now being used for migranes. Like birth control pills were used to regulate your period. Ironically.

PristinePantalones August 8, 2011 at 5:10 pm

I don't think the kind she gets are amendable to Botox. Visual aura and stuff.

102415 August 8, 2011 at 5:40 pm

I spent an evening with a doctor who runs a migraine clinic who uses botox. According to her it's good for everything!

LetUsBray August 8, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Hitler? (Sorry, reflex action when someone asks a question around here)

PristinePantalones August 8, 2011 at 5:09 pm

I've fallen prey to it a few times myself.

MrFizzy August 8, 2011 at 8:56 pm

Scrape it off and grow a scab.

FlipOffResearch August 8, 2011 at 12:14 pm

It looks like Bachmann's discovered my new hobby of badly posing for pictures.

metamarcisf August 8, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Should be sold in a plain brown wrapper so as not to scare the children.

Oblios_Cap August 8, 2011 at 12:15 pm

They still publish Newsweek?

That woman is Dorian Gray's picture.

SorosBot August 8, 2011 at 12:16 pm

This is all Reagan's fault; before he sent the mental patients out on the street Michele would be getting the treatment she needs and pose no danger to others.

NorthStarSpanx August 8, 2011 at 2:10 pm

And Obama's Big Government fault too, if it weren't for Fanny or Freddie, she'd be homeless AND crazy.

gullywompr August 8, 2011 at 12:16 pm

Hate to steal from a previous wonketteer, but it bears repeating….

"Water, Michelle W-A-T-E-R."

johnnyzhivago August 8, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Crazy EyZ!!!

mourningnmerica August 8, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Objectively speaking, that may be the most disturbing, most illuminating picture of Michele to date.

Chet Kincaid August 8, 2011 at 12:19 pm

One Weird Trick To Erase Credibility

Barrelhse August 8, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Dermatologists Hate Her!

Chillwaver August 8, 2011 at 12:20 pm

"Give me your best crazy!"
– Newsweek photographer

johnnyzhivago August 8, 2011 at 12:21 pm

It kind of looks like a picture you would take by yourself with your phone.

Guppy06 August 8, 2011 at 12:45 pm

needz moar duckface

Tundra Grifter August 8, 2011 at 2:34 pm

JZ: I would disagree because she's wearing clothes.

LetUsBray August 8, 2011 at 3:00 pm

And no dookie in the toilet bowl, either.

MozakiBlocks August 8, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Where on earth is she looking this time?

Toward Jesus of course!!

fartknocker August 8, 2011 at 12:26 pm

You know what's scarier? Her and Gubnor Big Hair standing on the dias at the RNC and accepting the nomination for POTUS and VPOTUS.

HistoriCat August 8, 2011 at 10:22 pm

You know what's even scarier? "I Michele Bachmann do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States …"

Beowoof August 8, 2011 at 12:26 pm

She looks crazy in that picture true, however the real crazy part is she approved that picture for the cover. Now that is one crazy beootch

Buckminster August 8, 2011 at 12:27 pm

Somewhere, tiny children are trembling at the thought that this monster might be hiding in their closet.

MOMMY, I"M SCARED!!!!!!!!!

James Michael Curley August 8, 2011 at 12:27 pm

"Sittin' and starin',
Outa the hotel window,
Gotta tip they're,
Bustin' the door in again."

Chet Kincaid August 8, 2011 at 12:27 pm

Black hole sun, here she comes!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mbBbFH9fAg&ob

Steverino247 August 8, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Good one. I like the take off on that song "Asshole son" which is very funny. No idea where to find a copy, though.

flamingpdog August 8, 2011 at 10:05 pm

At least now we know what became of Michelle and Marcus's 25 foster children.

AJWjr. August 8, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Say what you will, but even she and $arah weren't batshit crazy enough to show up to Goodhair's event over the weekend.

JustPixelz August 8, 2011 at 12:29 pm

As I watch the Dow and my dreams of retirement sink under the weight of credit downgrades, I recall the words of Michele Bachmann:

“I will not vote to increase the debt ceiling,” she says in the commercial. “It goes completely contrary to common sense and how I grew up in Iowa.”

if the Demoncrats can't make her and the other Repubican TP'ers with their 98% victory dance absolutely OWN this downgrade, I'm voting for Sarah Palin's™ mannequin head.

LetUsBray August 8, 2011 at 3:02 pm

You're assuming Democrats developing backbones at some point. Don't hold yer breath.

SaintRond August 8, 2011 at 12:34 pm

That cunt.

spinozasgod August 8, 2011 at 12:35 pm

maybe she's afraid the camera will steal her soul…..

Rosie_Scenario August 8, 2011 at 1:26 pm

What soul?

DashboardBuddha August 8, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Can't steal what she doesn't have. In order for someone to steal her soul, they'll have to break into Satan's safe deposit box.

archikvetch August 8, 2011 at 12:40 pm

She's just enraptured by the rapture… or she's watching Kortney.

donner_froh August 8, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Phyllis Diller has really let herself go.

WordSaladNation August 8, 2011 at 12:41 pm

I was going to masturbate this year, but that image ruined my plans.

randcoolcatdaddy August 8, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Dang … Charles Manson isn't aging well…

Steverino247 August 8, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Michele don't surf!

SheriffRoscoe August 8, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Really? The photographer couldn't get her to soften those eyes and unclench that smile for a split second by telling her the funniest racist joke he's ever heard? It's like Newsweek WANTS us all saying mean things about her.

Chet Kincaid August 8, 2011 at 12:46 pm

With the fat face and heavy mascara doe-eyes, she looks like Veronica from "Archie" as drawn by Jack Kirby.

Steverino247 August 8, 2011 at 12:59 pm

If Americans elect this insane woman to the office of President, I'm moving to Australia. Because that's the last place the radiation will reach, if "On the Beach" is correct. Evangelicals will light this planet on fire to bring back Jesus. Every one of them will have that batshit crazy look on their faces, too.

baconzgood August 8, 2011 at 1:00 pm

"….This is your brain on Tea-Party. Any questions?"

DerrickWildcat August 8, 2011 at 1:01 pm

She is going to take our country back to something.

BlueStateLibel August 8, 2011 at 1:05 pm

The eyes are the windows to the soul, are they not?

ProudLibunatic August 8, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Oh, Newsweek!
Subtle, guys, subtle.
Let's hope the rest of the country catches on.
(We here have ALWAYS known she has the crazy!)

fuflans August 8, 2011 at 1:10 pm

this is pleasing and terrifying all at once.

sorta of like an evil clown movie.

SorosBot August 8, 2011 at 2:20 pm

We all float down here…

Barrelhse August 8, 2011 at 11:47 pm

Pennywhistle!

Redhead August 8, 2011 at 1:11 pm

She's probably hoping she washed all the blood off http://www.theonion.com/articles/bachmann-says-un

Rarian Rakista August 8, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Take my money, take my money!

Oh wait; you teabag cunt, you already did.

Lost 30% of my 401k since this shit started.

finallyhappy August 8, 2011 at 5:36 pm

I am ignoring all the stock market stuff- so I can think about where I can find a job now that I retired 2 years ago.

5thstate August 8, 2011 at 1:23 pm

"There’s no denying that Bachmann firmly believes what she believes. Some might think she’s crazy because of it. Cover photos like this one help to cement that image<i/>".

Some might KNOW FOR A FACT that she's crayayayazeeeee because of facts and logic and reason and data and things which are mutually exclusive and not like each other which nonetheless Bachmann believes are identical or not depending on what that thing is that has to do with Jesus and homos and taxes and fetuses and socialism and Muslims and certain birth certificates
I

Come here a minute August 8, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Big deal — wake me up when she gets the cover of that real political kingmaker, Runner's World.

RocketNo9 August 8, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Seriously? Her handlers let that photo go through? Did they do it intentionally so they can immediately turn around and cry victim that their beloved cuntidate is being mistreated my Librul Media? Because anyone media savvy in the least is going to demand refusal rights on the photo before it goes.

DahBoner August 8, 2011 at 1:38 pm

The photographer had to hold up a bag of gold coins and jingle it to get her attention for the photo…

NorthStarSpanx August 8, 2011 at 2:13 pm

It's back up to $1700 an ounce today, Beck must be dancing with glee and vindication.

zappadoo76 August 8, 2011 at 1:39 pm

Newsweek probably took about 20 photos of Queen Ragia, and picked the worst one, on purpose. Teh gays, who run the operation, did this as a service to themselves and their country. Thanks, gays!

Nostrildamus August 8, 2011 at 2:02 pm

You that to her, damn you! You cut out her brain you bloody baboon!

RodneyBadger August 8, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Yes, but does she get her tits out?

Eve8Apples August 8, 2011 at 2:06 pm

I'm offended they photoshopped her horns and fangs out of that photo.

proudgrampa August 8, 2011 at 2:13 pm

OK, I don't know what it's called, but that cover picture reminds me of an aunt who had a condition where she had to look sideways at everything, like her retinal focus was to the side. It was weird: she would look at her water glass while slicing her steak.

Doesn't take away from the fact that Michele is a loon…

LiveToServeYa August 8, 2011 at 2:14 pm

I'm happy about this picture. I want it on thousands of billboards across America. THE FACE OF THE TEA PARTY! Everyone will recognize the batshit insanity and pelt her face with hobobean cans or whatever. 'Crap in hand! Fling crap!'

NorthStarSpanx August 8, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Bachmann quoted the manifesto, which describes an America where people “have civil and religious liberty, and here we can choose whatever profession we want, and no one tells us what profession we go in.” Her ancestors, she said, read those words and “sold everything and took their five children and bought boat tickets to come to Iowa.”

Her Nordic fourfathers took a boat to Iowa?

ShaveTheWhales August 9, 2011 at 3:34 am

No, they took a boat to Wisconsin (almost equally tricky), moved to the Dakota wilderness, and fled back to less-wildernessy Iowa.

ProgressiveInga August 8, 2011 at 2:21 pm

"That kinda hurts, Dr. Lechter…"
Paul Krendler (played by Ray Liotta) post-lobotomy
Hannibal, The Movie

Monsieur_Grumpe August 8, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Oh great. When little kids see that picture in the grocery store checkout lane they’re going to start crying their asses off. Thanks Michele.

Tundra Grifter August 8, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Over at Newsbusters (Comedy Central for Conservatives) they got their collective panties in a bunch over this foto.

I don't think it's fair to blame Newsweek. I think she's giving us the only look she's got.

Neoyorquino August 8, 2011 at 2:39 pm

LOLMichele – I can haz ur soul?

Gleem_McShineys August 8, 2011 at 2:41 pm

One picture is worth a thousand mg of thorazine.

horsedreamer_1 August 8, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Nice try, Letterman, but putting on a wig & going over the gap-tooth with liquid paper isn't going to break your next Late Show character.

Try again.

mumbly_joe August 8, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Dear WaPo guy and also Slate morans: It's also possible that she looks crazy in every publicity photo and press conference she does, because she's just cold crazy. Sometimes a thing really just is what it looks like. Has anyone ever seen Bachman not looking like a lunatic? Does anybody have any evidence that this wasn't really and truly the best photo they had to work with?

johnnyzhivago August 8, 2011 at 3:27 pm

My suggestion is some expensive, federally funded "posing for the camera without giving cooky looks" classes….

alzronnie August 8, 2011 at 3:32 pm

Yup, there's a new crazy sheriff in town. Sorry Sarah, looks like you and Todd are going to have to go back to pulling that badger game on drunk salesman at the Days Inn.

PalinPussyPower August 8, 2011 at 3:33 pm

I know in the past I've said that I would, because crazy in the head crazy in the bed.

But I would not hit that. I would not. I've changed my mind. I would not.

Barrelhse August 8, 2011 at 11:49 pm

Flip-flopper.

WVUer21 August 8, 2011 at 4:02 pm

That is Nightmare Fuel straight from the Bowels of Hell.

__kth__ August 8, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Wait, you buried the lede, which is that Newsweek still exists.

HelmutNewton August 8, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Oh, you meanies! She's just high on "life"!

Hurricane Ali August 8, 2011 at 5:05 pm

Q: Not that I mind or I am complaining or anything, but couldn't the photographer have found a less insane-looking photo of Bachmann for this Newsweek cover?

A: Good luck with that.

Slim_Pickins August 8, 2011 at 5:06 pm

No wonder the market crashed. This is likely the first thing Wall Streeters saw when they got off their trains this morning. Its enough to put anyone off their game…

PristinePantalones August 8, 2011 at 5:08 pm

I want someone to explain to me why her right eye is staring straight at me (wif teh KrayZ) while her left eye is watching god or staring straight into the sun, or something.

lochnessmonster August 8, 2011 at 5:13 pm

Yikes! That is truly frightening. if I had little children, I'd tell them to turn their heads.

El Pinche August 8, 2011 at 5:29 pm

LMAO!!!! Photogenic my ass.

El Pinche August 8, 2011 at 8:54 pm

This has Tim & Eric written all over it.

Barrelhse August 8, 2011 at 9:02 pm

I just looked more closely at the photo and it seriously looks like something is dripping off the bottom of her chin. Either that or she's tripping.

Warpde August 8, 2011 at 9:09 pm

Be afraid.
Be very afraid!

LakeLucilleLoon August 8, 2011 at 9:35 pm

I see that she's an over-plucker.

KenLayIsAlive August 8, 2011 at 9:46 pm

Can't she pay her husband to fix her gaze?

flamingpdog August 8, 2011 at 10:12 pm

She certainly lost the environmental vote with that picture. It's pretty obvious that the lights are on but nobody's home.

Negropolis August 8, 2011 at 11:26 pm

Tina Brown's a bitch in the best sense of the word. Unfortunately, Tina Brown's a consummate courtisan and a media attention whore, so she's also a bitch in the worst sense of the word.

As for the photo, it screams "The 40-year-old Not-so Virgin."

Troglodeity August 9, 2011 at 12:54 am

I think that cover photo even beats this Bachmann classic: http://lynnrockets.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/ba

mormos August 9, 2011 at 1:43 am

If you look at each individual eye they are looking at the camera, but somehow taken together she stares everywhere at once. Trying to figure out how that is possible is costing me my sanity. I'm begining to think she may actually be an eldritch horror.

ttommyunger August 9, 2011 at 7:56 pm

Thirty fucking kids in the house and a closeted Liberace Sound-alike for a husband and you'd look like this too.

portermelmoth August 9, 2011 at 8:56 pm

Modern surgery can correct that. You know, 'that'.

portermelmoth August 9, 2011 at 8:59 pm

Next stop: 'Rolling Stone'.

miss_grundy August 10, 2011 at 1:10 am

She looks like she had her picture taken for an anger management class identification card.

Instead of calling her the queen of rage, call her a raging c**t.

benjo765 August 18, 2011 at 5:11 am

meh least its an honest picture, she looks about as nutso and "special" as any sensible person would gauge her to be.

its a lot better in this respect than Obama's pretend "I'M A DECISIVE LEADER" shot http://www.reobama.com/images/1_18_09_Newsweek_Ma

LIES!

thebeatgoeson August 8, 2011 at 2:08 pm

I love Snuffles!

AJWjr. August 9, 2011 at 3:05 am

A dog ahead of his time…

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