CONGRESSIONAL DONGS IN THE NEWS  4:33 pm August 5, 2011

What Is Harry Reid’s Member Doing Still Hanging Around Congress?

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Congress is still in session for about 60 seconds a day just to do things like pass a resolution extending the funding for the FAA and  block recess appointments, both of which are politically important/ newsworthy but neither of which hold much political comedy. But it has been a whole 3 or 4 days without dick jokes about some crusty Democratic politician’s wang, so here is your Newspaper of Record, the New York Times, to rescue the Friday afternoon masses:

[NYTimes via Eagle-Eyed Wonkette Immortal "Josh Fruhlinger"]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 69 comments }

donner_froh August 5, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Harry Reid's member going home sounds like a Mormon sex act that is too horrible to contemplate.

the_problem_child August 5, 2011 at 4:37 pm

The staff on that member seems a bit thin, proportionally speaking.

ifthethunderdontgetya August 5, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Oh great FSM!

Did I really need the image of Harry's hairy member on a Friday afternoon after a week from Hell?

P.S. They fixed it already. Whoever they are!
~

smokefilleddoommate August 5, 2011 at 4:42 pm
SayItWithWookies August 5, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Every seven years, like the salmon.

johnnymeatworth August 5, 2011 at 4:42 pm

It's not the meat, it's the Congressional motion….

Biel_ze_Bubba August 5, 2011 at 7:20 pm

Do they call out "all rise" when only Reid's member is present?

neiltheblaze August 5, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Harry Reid's member has a mind of its own? Nothing new there.

Callyson August 5, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Yeah, but it's a dry heat…

Lucidamente1 August 5, 2011 at 4:44 pm

So the headline is "Pro Forma Sessions Cockblock Reid" ?

bumfug August 5, 2011 at 4:44 pm

His member is just lonesome for the soothing comfort of those magic panties.

inapewetrust August 5, 2011 at 4:44 pm

great, now i can't stop thinking about two tangerines in a tube sock

Mumbletypeg August 5, 2011 at 4:45 pm

Harry no longer remembers when where membership had its privileges.

DailyOlivier August 5, 2011 at 8:25 pm

What does a veteran Senator smell like? Depends… wow that was tasteless.

BarackMyWorld August 5, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Hey, Internet, still think correct punctuation isn't important?

smokefilleddoommate August 5, 2011 at 4:55 pm

'Eats, shoots and 'members'..(what a memory!) Or, 'Eats shoots and members'. (Gah!! Evil Panda!)

nounverb911 August 5, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Are Reid's pomegranates ripe yet?

Chillwaver August 5, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Harry is all member, no balls.

orygoon August 5, 2011 at 4:54 pm

I have suspected for years that Reid is underrated, and now I am certain of it.

simplyblue7 August 5, 2011 at 4:55 pm

I bet his member would like come home.

north_of_moscow August 5, 2011 at 5:01 pm

Listening to my member has caused me nothing but grief. Fun grief, but grief nonetheless.

Steverino247 August 5, 2011 at 5:08 pm

I'm sure he's hung like a horsefly.

Limeylizzie August 5, 2011 at 7:34 pm

I bet Harry is well-hung, he has a very attractive wife and just seems like one of those men who really enjoys the old love act.

widestanceroman August 5, 2011 at 5:08 pm

You know who else's member desires to go home?

(besides mine–will this day ever end?)

SudsMcKenzie August 5, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Maximus Decimus Meridius?

nappyduggs August 5, 2011 at 5:09 pm

Just telling us what we already know: Congress is just a bunch of dicks.

johnnyzhivago August 5, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Are you telling me that Congress' most important duties – naming Post Office Branches and passing ridiculous commemorative resolutions like "Pickle Flavored Ice Cream Day" – are on hold?

LetUsBray August 5, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Wait, it's possible to block recess appointments? Why wasn't this done to prevent Jon Bolton and other Cowboy Caligula henchmen?

Oh, that's right: No-gonad chickenshit backbones-are-off-the-table Vichy Democrats.

MLHencken August 6, 2011 at 8:04 am

I am shocked, shocked I say, to hear that back room political dealing and obfuscation continues in our Senate.

ProudLibunatic August 6, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Yep.
I'm surprised that Harry has a pulse, let alone a member!

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 5, 2011 at 5:16 pm

If you ever saw Mrs. Reid, you would understand.

edgydrifter August 5, 2011 at 5:20 pm

And now I can spend all weekend imagining Harry Reid alone in his office punching his junk, yelling "Na na na! I'm not listening to you! Leave me alone!!"
Thank you, Wonkette!

bagofmice August 5, 2011 at 5:27 pm

So it's safe to say this issue is coming to a head?

MiniMencken August 5, 2011 at 5:28 pm

So, you're saying that these appointments are being cock-blocked?

Tommmcatt August 5, 2011 at 5:40 pm

So they found the twig, so what? Call me when they finally find the berries.

ifthethunderdontgetya August 5, 2011 at 5:42 pm

OMG.

This should be the last post of the weekend.
~

Limeylizzie August 5, 2011 at 7:36 pm

Is that a joke?

Guppy06 August 5, 2011 at 7:58 pm

Two vanloads of Santorum?

SayItWithWookies August 5, 2011 at 9:11 pm

And forty jars of jelly.

MLHencken August 6, 2011 at 8:06 am

Frothy.

That is all.

MissusBarry August 5, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Blech, going back to Benincasa's material. I decline to spend the weekend dwelling on the desires of Harry's member.

Goonemeritus August 5, 2011 at 5:56 pm

Hey for all the shit Harry gets I think he’s due a little down time with a couple of show girls. Have a nice August Senator Reid and that goes for your member too.

MLHencken August 6, 2011 at 8:09 am

For reals. Poor old dusty bastard has to deal with Turtle McFuckface all the time. Dude needs an eight ball and a Steely Dan vacation, stat.

Guppy06 August 5, 2011 at 6:05 pm

There was once a charming young woman that referred to a part of her anatomy as my member's home.

BaldarTFlagass August 5, 2011 at 6:16 pm

OT, but relating to the topic we closed with yesterday. Made me laugh, until I realized my 401 is fucked too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4hfdaC7eL4

And if someone already posted it, lo siento.

MissTaken August 5, 2011 at 6:30 pm

I guess he does hang to the left after all

mavenmaven August 5, 2011 at 6:52 pm

I don't think you can highlight on a digital image. Weiner tried it, but the yellow just messed up his cellphone camera.

Schmannnity August 5, 2011 at 8:10 pm

Harry Reid, (D. Flaccid)

ttommyunger August 5, 2011 at 8:23 pm

He prolly employs his member with the same enthusiasm he does everything else: with all the vigor of a man desperately fighting sleep.

WinterOuthouse August 5, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Members need sleep too.

ttommyunger August 5, 2011 at 9:28 pm

There is such a thing as overdoing it, though; as in my case.

SpurningBeer August 5, 2011 at 8:42 pm

Harry Reid's is the greatest deliberative body in the world.

donner_froh August 5, 2011 at 9:13 pm

How's it hanging, Harry?

WinterOuthouse August 5, 2011 at 9:18 pm

He has a lot of members. They get together and do stuff sometimes.

currencywidget August 5, 2011 at 9:39 pm

let's face no matter how much the GOP talks they always get owned by the democrats.

LetUsBray August 5, 2011 at 10:01 pm

Delighted to meet you, Parallel Universe Person. Please pass along my regards to President Kerry!

DahBoner August 5, 2011 at 9:53 pm

Because when the person in the stall next to you in the Senate bathroom flushes, you're supposed to yell out at the top of your lungs, "HEY! YOU SUNK MY BATTLESHIP!"

Old Senate tradition.

Negropolis August 6, 2011 at 2:18 am

I read that as "You suck my battleship!" lol

LetUsBray August 5, 2011 at 10:02 pm

Well, I certainly know what it's like to have a downgrade in the ol' credit rating. I have never felt more truly American than I do today!

MLHencken August 6, 2011 at 8:14 am

Today our FICO scores are all a bit lower, in solidarity.

Negropolis August 6, 2011 at 2:12 am

Harry Reid's member forever longs for and points toward Nevada, home of Mormonia, pomegranate trees, and hookers. Lots and lots of hookers.

MLHencken August 6, 2011 at 8:13 am

Nation's leader in fake boobs per capita.

Black_Orange August 7, 2011 at 11:35 pm

Somehow, I cannot fit Harry and hooker into the same picture.

johnnyzhivago August 6, 2011 at 1:29 pm

Hey when Harry Reid's member and Nancy Pelosi have a meeting, does a Boener ever get involved?

Black_Orange August 7, 2011 at 11:22 pm

Harry, methinks you're in over your head.

weejee August 5, 2011 at 5:04 pm

That would leave the Wonketteriate really hanging.

Radiotherapy® August 5, 2011 at 5:08 pm

The members of the Wonkette club agree.

MLHencken August 6, 2011 at 8:02 am

Remember kids, nightmares CAN come true!

HistoriCat August 6, 2011 at 6:53 pm

The responses to this piece are disappointing, one might even say flaccid.

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