congressional dongs in the news

What Is Harry Reid’s Member Doing Still Hanging Around Congress?

Congress is still in session for about 60 seconds a day just to do things like pass a resolution extending the funding for the FAA and  block recess appointments, both of which are politically important/ newsworthy but neither of which hold much political comedy. But it has been a whole 3 or 4 days without dick jokes about some crusty Democratic politician’s wang, so here is your Newspaper of Record, the New York Times, to rescue the Friday afternoon masses:

[NYTimes via Eagle-Eyed Wonkette Immortal “Josh Fruhlinger”]

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  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Harry Reid's member going home sounds like a Mormon sex act that is too horrible to contemplate.

  • the_problem_child

    The staff on that member seems a bit thin, proportionally speaking.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Oh great FSM!

    Did I really need the image of Harry's hairy member on a Friday afternoon after a week from Hell?

    P.S. They fixed it already. Whoever they are!
    ~

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilleddoommate
  • SayItWithWookies

    Every seven years, like the salmon.

  • johnnymeatworth

    It's not the meat, it's the Congressional motion….

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Do they call out "all rise" when only Reid's member is present?

  • neiltheblaze

    Harry Reid's member has a mind of its own? Nothing new there.

  • Callyson

    Yeah, but it's a dry heat…

  • Lucidamente1

    So the headline is "Pro Forma Sessions Cockblock Reid" ?

  • bumfug

    His member is just lonesome for the soothing comfort of those magic panties.

  • http://thefastertimes.com/absurdnews/ inapewetrust

    great, now i can't stop thinking about two tangerines in a tube sock

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Harry no longer remembers when where membership had its privileges.

    • DailyOlivier

      What does a veteran Senator smell like? Depends… wow that was tasteless.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Hey, Internet, still think correct punctuation isn't important?

    • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilleddoommate

      'Eats, shoots and 'members'..(what a memory!) Or, 'Eats shoots and members'. (Gah!! Evil Panda!)

  • nounverb911

    Are Reid's pomegranates ripe yet?

  • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

    Harry is all member, no balls.

  • orygoon

    I have suspected for years that Reid is underrated, and now I am certain of it.

  • http://theblueelite.blogspot.com simplyblue7

    I bet his member would like come home.

  • north_of_moscow

    Listening to my member has caused me nothing but grief. Fun grief, but grief nonetheless.

  • Steverino247

    I'm sure he's hung like a horsefly.

    • Limeylizzie

      I bet Harry is well-hung, he has a very attractive wife and just seems like one of those men who really enjoys the old love act.

  • widestanceroman

    You know who else's member desires to go home?

    (besides mine–will this day ever end?)

    • SudsMcKenzie

      Maximus Decimus Meridius?

  • nappyduggs

    Just telling us what we already know: Congress is just a bunch of dicks.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Are you telling me that Congress' most important duties – naming Post Office Branches and passing ridiculous commemorative resolutions like "Pickle Flavored Ice Cream Day" – are on hold?

  • LetUsBray

    Wait, it's possible to block recess appointments? Why wasn't this done to prevent Jon Bolton and other Cowboy Caligula henchmen?

    Oh, that's right: No-gonad chickenshit backbones-are-off-the-table Vichy Democrats.

    • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

      I am shocked, shocked I say, to hear that back room political dealing and obfuscation continues in our Senate.

    • http://Wonkette.com ProudLibunatic

      Yep.
      I'm surprised that Harry has a pulse, let alone a member!

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    If you ever saw Mrs. Reid, you would understand.

  • edgydrifter

    And now I can spend all weekend imagining Harry Reid alone in his office punching his junk, yelling "Na na na! I'm not listening to you! Leave me alone!!"
    Thank you, Wonkette!

  • bagofmice

    So it's safe to say this issue is coming to a head?

  • MiniMencken

    So, you're saying that these appointments are being cock-blocked?

  • Tommmcatt

    So they found the twig, so what? Call me when they finally find the berries.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    OMG.

    This should be the last post of the weekend.
    ~

    • Limeylizzie

      Is that a joke?

    • Guppy06

      Two vanloads of Santorum?

      • SayItWithWookies

        And forty jars of jelly.

      • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

        Frothy.

        That is all.

  • MissusBarry

    Blech, going back to Benincasa's material. I decline to spend the weekend dwelling on the desires of Harry's member.

  • Goonemeritus

    Hey for all the shit Harry gets I think he’s due a little down time with a couple of show girls. Have a nice August Senator Reid and that goes for your member too.

    • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

      For reals. Poor old dusty bastard has to deal with Turtle McFuckface all the time. Dude needs an eight ball and a Steely Dan vacation, stat.

  • Guppy06

    There was once a charming young woman that referred to a part of her anatomy as my member's home.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    OT, but relating to the topic we closed with yesterday. Made me laugh, until I realized my 401 is fucked too.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4hfdaC7eL4

    And if someone already posted it, lo siento.

  • MissTaken

    I guess he does hang to the left after all

  • mavenmaven

    I don't think you can highlight on a digital image. Weiner tried it, but the yellow just messed up his cellphone camera.

  • Schmannnity

    Harry Reid, (D. Flaccid)

  • ttommyunger

    He prolly employs his member with the same enthusiasm he does everything else: with all the vigor of a man desperately fighting sleep.

    • WinterOuthouse

      Members need sleep too.

      • ttommyunger

        There is such a thing as overdoing it, though; as in my case.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ SpurningBeer

    Harry Reid's is the greatest deliberative body in the world.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    How's it hanging, Harry?

  • WinterOuthouse

    He has a lot of members. They get together and do stuff sometimes.

  • http://widget.fx-exchange.com/ currencywidget

    let's face no matter how much the GOP talks they always get owned by the democrats.

    • LetUsBray

      Delighted to meet you, Parallel Universe Person. Please pass along my regards to President Kerry!

  • DahBoner

    Because when the person in the stall next to you in the Senate bathroom flushes, you're supposed to yell out at the top of your lungs, "HEY! YOU SUNK MY BATTLESHIP!"

    Old Senate tradition.

    • Negropolis

      I read that as "You suck my battleship!" lol

  • LetUsBray

    Well, I certainly know what it's like to have a downgrade in the ol' credit rating. I have never felt more truly American than I do today!

    • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

      Today our FICO scores are all a bit lower, in solidarity.

  • Negropolis

    Harry Reid's member forever longs for and points toward Nevada, home of Mormonia, pomegranate trees, and hookers. Lots and lots of hookers.

    • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

      Nation's leader in fake boobs per capita.

    • Black_Orange

      Somehow, I cannot fit Harry and hooker into the same picture.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Hey when Harry Reid's member and Nancy Pelosi have a meeting, does a Boener ever get involved?

  • Black_Orange

    Harry, methinks you're in over your head.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    That would leave the Wonketteriate really hanging.

  • Radiotherapy®

    The members of the Wonkette club agree.

  • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

    Remember kids, nightmares CAN come true!

  • HistoriCat

    The responses to this piece are disappointing, one might even say flaccid.