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At some point during the Iraq War, the United States decided not only to torture and unlawfully imprison all the furriner brown people it could get its hands on; it also decided to start torturing and unlawfully imprisoning its own citizens as well. Hooray for totalitarianism! During the war, Old Rummy Rum gave one of his most delicious, most favoritest “abduct and probe” orders for an Army translator working with the Marines, who was then held/molested/interrogated for nine months without charge and without being able to contact anyone.  After his release, this man decided he wanted to personally sue the hell out of Donald Rumsfeld for personally overseeing his illegal detention, to which we say, GOOD. Rumsfeld’s extracurricular torture projects, however, are something the roundtable of Nobama Knights feel obliged to defend. Luckily for the dignity of all humanity, one sane judge told the Obama administration to eff off:

The Obama administration has represented Rumsfeld through the U.S. Justice Department and argued that the former defense secretary cannot be sued personally for official conduct. The Justice Department also argued that a judge cannot review wartime decisions that are the constitutional responsibility of Congress and the president. And the department said the case could disclose sensitive information and distract from the war effort, and that the threat of liability would impede future military decisions.

But U.S. District Judge James Gwin rejected those arguments and said U.S. citizens are protected by the Constitution at home or abroad during wartime.

“The court finds no convincing reason that United States citizens in Iraq should or must lose previously declared substantive due process protections during prolonged detention in a conflict zone abroad,” Gwin wrote in a ruling issued Tuesday.


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