GAH!!! Here is the terrifying proof of communist organizer Barack Obama’s secret socialism revealed once and 4 all!!!! Who even wants to know what this terrifying secret 50th birthday cable says. Probably just “BARACK OBAMA THANK Y?OU FOR UR HELP IN SHARING ALL OF AMERICAS SEKRETS WITH US, RUSSIA” over and over in some sort of Cyrillic wingnut. And why is his 50th birthday listed on this “commemorative fake stamp” as “04 08 2011?” Because his real birthday is actually April 8??? WHAT DO THE RUSSIANS KNOW THAT WE DO NOT CANNOT PROVE?
It is a gift to Obama from the Russian Post Office, where Obama is greatly feared and admired. The very little information about this that has been gleaned by the internet’s wingnuts can be found on this secret “Russian news in English” communique floating around the interwebs:
Russia’s Post Office has issued a collection of stamps and envelopes to mark the 50th jubilee of the US President Barack Obama.
The US leader is celebrating his birthday on the 4th of August.
In one of his recent interviews Mr. Obama said that fifty years ago nobody could imagine Russia and the US as partners. He added that confrontation ended together with the Cold War.
He said that the Internet and mass media have made people from all over the globe closer to each other. “It is important to contribute to mutual understating between Russia and the US, one of the world`s leading countries”, Mr. Obama said.
Russia`s Post Office also presented the US leader with a postmark featuring his portrait. Mr. Obama liked the gift, stamped several envelopes and then signed one of them with dedication to the museum of the Russian Post Office.
Yeah, sure, the 4th of August. You think wingnuts can’t read? They saw April 8. APRIL 8. NOW WHAT ELSE DO YOU KNOW? [Russian Post Office/ Voice of Russia]
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Is Putin giving Barry tips on how to be president for life too?
NYET!
Putin deals with "hostage takers" quite differently.
Poison gas and a round through the head is a pretty effective means of ending terror.
Unfortunately, he seems to deal with the hostages in much the same way. So long as he gets to kill some Muslins, the hostages don't mean much to him, either.
We can only hope.
Interracial bromance?
I'm sure he has helpful tips on dealing with pain-in-the-ass opponents.
Is Russia paying royalties on the photograph they stole?
Now we know where the birf certificate is! Git 'em, Orly!
DAMMIT, you beat me to it. Well, fine…
This is good news for Oily Taint.
она все еще глупый пизда.
HAHAHA, duh. Also, Джон Boehner всасывает пенис осла. But you already knew that.
John Boehner sucks the penis of the donkey? If only that were so.
и не очень туго
They would re-open the Gulags just for her.
Yea! Let's fund a misadventure in Moscow!
Aw, I voted for the young, shirtless Barry iPhone pic
With all due respect, whenever this picture of Hopey shows up it's like looking at a guy who will try and sell you a 1976 Chrysler Cordoba.
With fine Corinthian leather.
The Teatards think Barry's Putin on the Ritz.
"The Teatards think .."
I reject the premise of your statement. Think?!?
That's so bad, it's good.
Fans and advocates of Ronnie Raygun will not be pleased.
Now that's a stamp I could lick.
Four months is how long it takes to get a fake ad in the Honolulu Advertiser. Four months is how long it takes to sail from Kenya to Hawaii. COINCIDENCE???
My mother's birthday was August 4th too and no one ever asked to see HER birth certificate.
My Mom's B-day today also.
Hey, my Mom's too. Are we all long-lost sibs?
bpak obame isn't that a Kenyan name?
I just had my 52nd Jubilee last month, but it wasn't very jubilant.
I'm having my 53rd in October. No cherries on my jubilee.
You know who else just turned 52 last month? Wait a minute…Dad, is that you???
You forgot to invite Beohner and his donkey, obviously.
He IS a commie. This IS proof. Why can't all u liebrulz figger it out?
Shh. We know. But we're all commies too.
Today, we are all sheeple.
Stupid Rest of the World and their sensible "day/month/year" notation of the date. And fuck the metric system, too.
And it is written in blood, Komrade.
I prefer year/month/day – it makes it easy to do sorting tricks in Excel.
The metric system is just a theory, like global warming and the Holocaust.
This could start a whole new Obama = Putin meme.
Yer Putin us on.
Always liked how the Russian language looked written. Its just so Gangsta.
A grim remnant of the Eastern Roman Empire, if you ask me.
Byzantine libel!
I have a Russian cousin (by marriage) and she is the best sport about writing things for me. I love it. Also, she says "I must break you" and "if he dies, he dies" better than anyone else I know. But when she says "In Russia"…and then anything else, I start laughing, even when it's terrible. I just can't help it, I am a child of the 80s.
Our shirtless president looks better than their shirtless shadowy-figure-behind-the-scenes, whatever his title is. Although the little fireplug-in-a-suit who's nominally running the place is kinda entertaining.
You know who else had a birthday that was in April?
Jesus? sorta
A Re-Birthday.
weejee
Schecky Greene?
Is that Alvin's dad?
SHECKY LIBEL!
The IRS?
Yeah, and as a birthday greeting they sent him a million troops that burned and raped his capitol, so I guess we got off easy.
That goof who was married to Eva Braun?
Schecky Greene?
wavy gravy?
Buddha?
My brother?
My son?
My self?
Avril Lavigne?
Approximately 1/12th of all the people ever born?
The conspiracy is that large?
I'm sure it's all in the bible, if you care to look for it.
Clearly this is bad, but does it rise the level of an impeachable offense?
Sorta like Casey Anthony: the government blew it on the murder trial, so now they want her in jail for not meeting the terms of probation while she was in jail. And she may have some overdue library books.
So, yes: impeach Barry now!
Larry Flynt is offering Casey 500,000 to pose nude, so she'll be a job creator and the government will get off her back.
He's a Commie-Nazi!
Beck Links Nazi Propaganda With Barack And Michelle Obama: "They're Doing It"
File this under, "You know who else did it?"
~
The Nazis were well known for their tactics around promoting healthy veggies and less fattening snack foods.
Oh and Meth for their troops.
"Doing it?" You mean, like, you know, "Thingie"?
Two kids does imply a certain amount of doing it.
(Except for that percentage of our population that believes in the Stork, or some other divine intervention.)
~
All right all you Wonketteratti with Cyrillic expertise, which part of "Один подарочный конверт Барак Обама подписал специально для коллекции музея российской почты" translates to "Praise be to our secret Kenyan overlord Barack Obama"?
My Cyrillic's a bit rusty, but the Google sez "One gift envelope Barack Obama signed specifically for the museum's collection of Russian Post"
I thought that was Russian for "Allahu Akbar."
Я вижу Россию из моего дома!
Sarah Libel!
All of it, naturally.
It probably says, "Happy Birthday, you Parasite!" Signed by Putin himself.
Ah, but who is Barry's Medvedev?
The way things have been going, I think Barry is Boehner's Medvedev.
"Tiny Tim" Geithner, no doubt.
Timmy Geithner, surely.
You know, I wish I could have been a fly on the wall 51 years ago when the Muslims, Russians, Chinese, Adolf Hitler, Bill Ayers, Louis Farrakhan, Jeremiah Wright, the Congressional Black Caucus and the rest came up with this brilliant plan. It must have been a hell of a meeting. And then the blood sacrifice when they found a willing white women to bear their weapon…, it must have been something to be seen.
Don't forget Harold Goldman and Marvin Sachs – they brought the donuts….
It was directed by Roman Polanski, if I recall correctly.
It was a smoke-filled room, with men in the shadows, watching, much like in The Da Vinci Code.
Its where Barry's hankering for cigarettes first took root.
Wasn't that a Tom Clancy or Robert Ludlum novel?
Has the Indonesian Department of Brainwashing Future Presidents at Insane Muslim Midrashes (IDBFPIMM) sent their birthday greetings yet?
Happy Birthday, Mr. President.
USA: One of the world's leading countries, except in the areas of its economy, infrastructure, education, telecommunications, high speed rail, health care, environmental protection and political stability.
Don't forget infant mortality. Fetii rule, infants, not so much.
… which just leaves pizza delivery to hang the hat of American Exceptionalism therefrom. Please see Snowcrash by Neal Stephenson for details.
if we remove the South our statistic will go up dramatically !
"the Internet and mass media have made people from all over the globe closer to each other."
Obviously, hasn't visited political blog/websites.
Obviously he's talking about porn.
well i just did a spit take 10 hours after you posted that.
don't let anyone every say one person doesn't make a difference.
I do kind of wish that Putin had been in charge of the debt ceiling song and dance act for the White House.
Obama should appoint R. Lee Ermey as his Chief of Staff immediately.
Putin said going into Iraq was a bad idea. He was right. He said the USA is a parasite nation living on borrowed money. He was right. He ran off the media moguls who were criticizing his government. He was… Well, anyway, he wouldn't take any shit off of the Koch brothers and Rupert Murdoch.
I know, dictators are awesome, huh? Fuck Putin.
You have to wonder how the Russians ever thought they could beat us with the gobblygook scribblescrawl they use for their book writing.
They probably feel the same way about ours. Imagine the reverse-translating of what's given within this news story: plenty of etymologi-conflict arising with "President," "present," and — no doubt — "presentiment" just for starters.
C'mon Baz, they gave you some stamps…..can't you annex them that shit-hole Alaska in return?
In Russia, birthdays stamp you.
whoa, did obama say that the US is "one of the world's leading countries"? way to sell us out, president sotoro! that's no way to behave in front of the rooskies. you've got to tell them that the US roolz and russia droolz and stamp their faces all over with their dumb postmark, then poop in a bag and whip it at them while you use the gift stamp they gave you to send some vintage horse porn flicks to their mothers. that is how you represent america!
It's just a promo for the big "Ramadan in July" sale.
50th Jubilee? I can think of nothing more Communistic than referring to one's birthday party as a "jubilee." I'm pretty sure that Jubilee is actually the Russian term for 5th International.
"It is a gift to Obama from the Russian Post Office, where Obama is greatly feared and admired."
Well, at least someone still fears and admires him.
There has to be some kind of typical liburul Sarah "I can see Russia…" joke in here, I just can't seem to figure it out…
It was already made: Я вижу Россию из моего дома! (I can see Russia from my house!)
Ah…sorry…work is affecting my ability to snark.
Proof that Barry's a secret Philatelist and not an American after all.
I didn't know you masturbated!
You know who else was a stamp collector? That fucking commie FDR!!!
What a coincidence! His picture is on food stamps too!
This is worse than you can possibly imagine. But it will solve the deficit crises in quick order. The Russian Postal Dude promisses "Russian Post actively cooperates with the American Office, and in the future, I hope we will be able to expand bilateral ties." Which means you ain't never going to see another social security check until the permafrost thaws in Omsk.
– Oedipa Maas
Just as long as we don't forget November 9th!
Hobo bean food stamps.
For those of you that don't read Russian, that headline says, "The Foreign Intelligence Service congratulates colonel Obamnikov with his 50th jubilee."
OT, but I need help with a science / food question: I made a smoothie in the blender this morning, with only 4 ingredients: Yogurt, honey, a peach, and blueberries.
So why the hell did it taste like there were bananas in there?
Вы забыли сказать "уходи, бананы!"
Thank you for making me laugh. XD
What kind of yogurt?
WHERE ARE THE JAWBS?
No one has replied seriously to your question. {sad face}
I just wanted to say, I don't know, but smoothies always taste like they have banana in them to me. W-T-Hockeysticks? It's weird, right?
It was probably Obama's fault.
BPEMR!!! You can't handle the BPEMR, Bapaka Obambi!
Вот наш земляк и удалой молодец!
Высшая школа.
Это ясна.
OT: How about our mutha-funkin' austerity, beaches?
Dow Jones Industrial Average July 29 – August 04, 2011
Are we ruled over by wise men, and guided by an oh-so-brilliant corporate media, or what?
USA! USA! USA!
~
But why the hell is my 457, which is tied to short term money markets, tanking at the same rate? It's an interest-bearing account, ffs!
True Story. Many moons ago, I was in an intel unit that was part of an organization we didn't care much for because they wanted us to actually perform physical exercise along with the rest of them every goddamned morning instead of staying inside and thinking evil thoughts on behalf of the citizens of the United States. Headquarters even sent old lifer sergeants waiting to retire to monitor us doing it. So, we decided it was time to add our Russian "phrase of the day" to our mock calesthenics program. We did a four count arms in the air and then behind our heads while shouting "Не снимите! Я знаю секреты!" At the end of our 20 reps, our leader asked "and what does that mean?" to which we responded (like we "had a pair") "Don't shoot! I know secrets!" The old Master Sergeant threw down his clip board and we were never bothered again.
That is hilarious.
That is utter genius. What a mental image!
"Military intelligence" wasn't an oxymoron at our shop, friends.
None of that trying to get on our good side by sending birthday greetings, you commies. We've got our guns and are waiting for you. We know what you're doing. Yeh, we do. Hah.
And we've got an armed crazy lady who can see you from her house.
WOLVERINES!
We do?
Come on, people, this isn't rocket science. Clearly, Hussein Obama was born on April 8, 1951, in KENYA AFRICA, then quickly whisked away to HAWAII, where he was symbolically "BORN" in a Satanic ceremony, and then given a birth certificate dated August 4.
All this is common knowledge in Russia, because of socialism.
"What have you done to him!? What have you done to his eyes, you maniacs!?"
At least since W's gone, I don't worry about Putin giving our Chief Executive Indian Burns and Wedgies when they get together. Putin & Dubya: mis-match of the ages.
And then Obama caved…
There that Putin goes again, rearin' his head into American airspace, ringin' those bells and shootin' those guns to warn the British that it's Kenya's independence day and we're not gonna be givin' up our arms. Also. What?
In Soviet Union, candles blow you!
The messsage actually says, "I am Russian man of business who must move $4 million American from my country and I need trustworthy American ally with bank account . . ."
If they are a free market democracy now, why to they still use the Communist alphabet?
If there's a god in heaven, Putin later to Barry into a back room and gave him all the strategic and operational details which will allow Barry to create his very own Democratic Nashi as a very effective way of dealing with a minority group of overweight and easily hunted 'threats to Obama and to national security. These Gringo-Nashis would tear through a Tea Bag Town Hall leaving nothing but shattered kneecaps, disfigured harpies and congenital fear behind.
Doesn't the one-month coin look communistically illuminatastic?
Funny story:
I spent part of the summer doing some volunteer work for the astronomical observatory that the University maintains. A few grad students assisted me, and we got the place up-and-running enough so that some high school teachers could brush up on Radio Astronomy and the Scientific Method, as part of our Masters of Science Teaching program.
Apparently, the Dean of Graduate studies is so appreciative of my contribution that he'd like to present me with a bottle of Scotch today at lunch! I learned about this when I got home from my meeting last night.
Turns out it was four bottles of extremely expensive Scotch, to be shared among me and the grad students. I graciously accepted the gift, and once the Dean had gone, promptly donated the bottles to the grad students, who probably can't afford the stuff anyway.
There was much staring and salivating.
Still in this day and age, that's cool? I mean it is cool, and a very nice gesture, but 'cool' in the way of 'thou shalt not offend any one ever' protocol? A bit edgy there.
Speaking of edgy…got it in spades. Feeling pretty rough, friend. Day six. The ativan helps tone down the more vicious edges, but still leaves plenty of hurt/anger/pain/why don't I feel better yet lingering behind. Ok, off to smash myself at the gym. Send good thoughts Dewey…I need them.
Rumor has it that this particular Dean could probably use some of what you and I are having right now. He seemed to know AN AWFUL LOT ABOUT SCOTCH. And, until quite recently, I probably had something like that reputation, too. Lord knows the kids aren't going to turn down a free drink. They're ready to go spend another 12 hours in the 100 degree sun for a chance at another "thank you". So I forgive him for what probably was a defense-mechanism-turned-friendly-gesture.
Day six. For me that was mid-week at work, trying my damnedest to keep my bruised, unfocused, medicated mind on my job, trying not to give any outward indication to my coworkers exactly how much I was struggling, knowing that I could not claim any credit or reward for attempting to undo what damage I and this dreaded disease had done. Totally thankless work. But I sure am thanking myself now.
I don't know whether you saw that article that Bonzos_bed_time had given me, about biking. Good stuff indeed. In addition to biking, I've been going to the gym, twice a week, with my officemate — a lean, buff, 32-year-old ex-Marine who has been kicking my ass in all the right places.
It sounds as though you're doing what you need to be doing. Addiction rots the dopamine uptake centers, and recovering addicts have an extremely difficult time experiencing pleasure. The ativan sounds as though it's having the intended effect (you're not supposed to get high from it!), and your trip(s) to the gym will inject some much-needed endorphin pleasure into your addled brain. You will feel better. You will get to a point where this week will just seem like a blur, like something that happened to somebody else.
For what it's worth, there's a hot MILF clinical social worker and an after-hours Episcopal Church full of old ex-drunk men who are all pulling for you. We're all pulling for you. Keep at it, my strigiform friend. If you need that number again, let me know.
"Our lives had become unmanageable." That's the killer phrase in the second half of Step One. It's a powerful phrase, and it's a useful mantra.
Unmanageable, and unsustainable. You and I, our homes were torn apart. Don't know about you, but I had dug myself into a rather deep financial hole, which was quickly getting worse. You and I were going to die, alone and miserable. We were going to lose it all.
You and I have what seem to be pretty cool lives. You're a professor, right? I helped to build a time-measuring device that is accurate to 10s of femtoseconds, and I study lightning on the side. We're Academes, man, the Catbird Seat, FUCK YEAH. There's no reason that we should have to give up these cool lives.
It pains me to hear that you are suffering like this. Just know that I believe that you can do it.
In Soviet Russia, day births you!
Mr. Obama, tear down this debt ceiling!
Where's the USA stamp with Putin on it? Where's the reciprocity, I ask you? Do not disparage Vlad just because of his karate pecs.
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