SCIENCE IS A FUNNY THING  12:09 am August 4, 2011

Couch Potato Children Now Forced To Consider Possibility of Climate Change

by Blair Burke

It used to be that parents could just plop their fat little children in front of “Ren & Stimpy” for hours without having to worry a bit about the little ones being attacked by “knowledge” or “science.” But this is the age of Obama and librul media and Sharia law, etc., so naturally the days of a carefree slob childhood are all but over.

On the August 3 edition of Fox & Friends, co-host Steve Doocy said:

DOOCY: The Department of Education invited a bunch of DC kids in and they had this festivity and they handed out these particular Nickelodeon books where clearly Nickelodeon is pushing a global warming agenda.

CARLSON: The Department of Education using SpongeBob SquarePants now to teach kids about global warming. The government agency showed kids this cartoon and handed out books that blamed man for global warming, but they did not tell kids that that is actually a disputed fact. Oops!

CARLSON: We all know that SpongeBob is popular with the kids and for the life of me I still keep trying to figure out why it is. My kids watch limited TV but every time they chose that show, I’m like, ‘Why?’ Anyway — it’s hard to even follow sometimes. Anyway now maybe that will be a good thing because SpongeBob is talking a lot about global warming, and he’s only looking at it from one point of view.

Gretchen Carlson is at least a little relieved now, because she has a reason to forbid her children from watching this cartoon show, which is very difficult for her to understand. Gretchen Carlson does not understand the part about living creatures existing under the water. Isn’t that just where all the oil lives? [Media Matters for America]

 
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{ 171 comments }

PrimlyStable August 4, 2011 at 12:17 am

And why didn't the Flintstones make clear that the concept of man living side by side with dinosaurs was a widely disputed theory supported only by crackpot Christians?

BeWoot August 4, 2011 at 12:19 am

"Nickelodeon is pushing a global warming agenda." Doocy does mean Nickelodeon favors global warning, right? I'm surprised, frankly. Does Nickelodeon sell air conditioning on the side or something?

Biel_ze_Bubba August 4, 2011 at 6:11 am

I hear "National Geographic" is pushing a round earth agenda. The plot runs deep…

DahBoner August 4, 2011 at 10:39 am

Yet, every map they publish in their magazine is flat. Hmmmm….

V572 Coif of Destiny August 4, 2011 at 10:40 am

I only read NG for the articles, and only when I can't get to sleep.

noodlesalad August 4, 2011 at 12:21 am

Well, she does admit that she has trouble following Spongebob Squarepants. Should we be surprised she doesn't understand a broad scientific consensus on climate change? Maybe we just need to go a little bit lower to help Retchin' understand global warming. Little Einsteins? Teletubbies? Finger puppets? Sledgehammer?

DoktorThompson August 4, 2011 at 12:56 am

Maybe we just need to go a little bit lower to help Retchin' understand global warming.

How about Fox & Friends?

noodlesalad August 4, 2011 at 12:58 am

Heh. For me, that comes after sledgehammer.

thebeatgoeson August 4, 2011 at 9:47 am

I vote sledgehammer. Applied repeatedly.

elviouslyqueer August 4, 2011 at 11:20 am

And don't forget the accompanying rusty nails!

ShaveTheWhales August 9, 2011 at 9:43 pm

She can't follow Spongebob Squarepants? Fuck me. I'm 63 now, but when my toddlers enjoyed the 'bob, I suppose I was a sprightly 50-ish. I had no trouble following it. Of course, it was mostly stupid puns, but I like stupid puns, so there's that.

But "hard to follow"? It's targeted at eight-year-olds, for fuck's sake.

Steverino247 August 4, 2011 at 12:28 am

Climate change caused by human activity is only controversial to those paid to say so and those stupid enough to believe those paid to say so

The Good News is if we're causing it, because then we can do something about it. An example of this is the ozone layer.

The Bad News would be if we can't stop the process no matter what we try.

I don't know if the sea levels are rising, but I do know the humidity is rising, so all that arctic ice is going somewhere…

not that Dewey August 4, 2011 at 12:34 am

Yeah, but who put the Arctic ice there, huh? How'd it get dere?

Steverino247 August 4, 2011 at 9:45 am

Bored Eskimo housewives?

BaldarTFlagass August 4, 2011 at 8:22 am

"Climate change caused by human activity is only controversial to those paid to say so and those stupid enough to believe those paid to say so."

Now that is some rock-the-house succinticity!!

not that Dewey August 4, 2011 at 12:31 am

Tom and Jerry are forever pushing their pro-getting-run-over-by-a-steamroller agenda. TEACH TO THE CONTROVERSY, WILLIAM HANNA

MLHencken August 4, 2011 at 5:46 am

Don't forget the hit-you-in-face-with-a-cast-iron-frying-pan agenda.

not that Dewey August 4, 2011 at 8:05 am

That just leads to stars swirling around our heads, which in turn leads to homosexuality and socialism.

Urban_Achiever August 4, 2011 at 10:59 am

Or the Warner Brother's "anvil-dropping" and "TNT lit dynamite ball" agenda

keepem_sikanpor August 4, 2011 at 12:32 am

Well there is hope for her children.

SayItWithWookies August 4, 2011 at 1:19 am

Unless she homeschools — i.e. pays the nanny to.

SorosBot August 4, 2011 at 12:39 am

"The government agency showed kids this cartoon and handed out books that blamed man for global warming, but they did not tell kids that that is actually a disputed fact. Oops!"

What the fuck is the "oops!" for? It is not a disputed fact; why does Ms. Carlson oppose teaching proven scientific facts to kids?

mavenmaven August 4, 2011 at 2:05 am

Because her overlords tell her to.

V572 Coif of Destiny August 4, 2011 at 10:41 am

A "disputed fact" is like an "honest lie," or a "compassionate conservative."

DaRooster August 4, 2011 at 10:41 am

It is a disputed fact… by someone, somewhere… on some payroll…

not that Dewey August 4, 2011 at 10:47 am

Because that would undermine the shimmering city of self-delusion she has constructed around herself.

Oh. Your question was rhetorical. Nevermind.

mayor_quimby August 4, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Because she's a stupid, vapid cunt that has very little mental capacity.

GOPCrusher August 4, 2011 at 1:35 pm

I would think by this point, man made climate change would only be considered a "disputed fact" by morons.

Guppy06 August 4, 2011 at 12:41 am

OK, so I see at least two things to take away from this:

1.) She has difficulty following content aimed at a ten year-old audience.

2.) She wants to limit her children's exposure to what she herself is putting out.

emmelemm August 4, 2011 at 2:52 am

Is Spongebob aimed at 10-year-olds? I would have thought younger, but I don't have kids, so I don't know what I'm talking about.

RedneckMuslin August 4, 2011 at 6:32 am

Smoke a doob then watch it. It's aimed at you.

GOPCrusher August 4, 2011 at 1:36 pm

I, for one, have accepted Spongebob Squarepants as my Lord and Savior. All hail the Absorbent One!

trampndirtdown August 4, 2011 at 9:26 pm

Patrick Rules!

Barrelhse August 4, 2011 at 8:06 am

"she herself is putting out". heh

Callyson August 4, 2011 at 1:41 pm

See what that free birth control has led to?

SayItWithWookies August 4, 2011 at 12:44 am

I'm sure to Steve and Gretchen there is a plenitude of agendas based on disputed facts being presented as accepted. I'll bet they argue long into the night about the feasability of the RNA World model of how life came about because it hasn't been shown to work in the oxygen-poor atmosphere of primeval earth. Or whether the study of isolated languages truly reveals that space and time are subjective phenomena or merely that primitive societies, unable to create metaphors when they've experienced, say, only one river in their entire lives, have so internalized some of these basic concepts to the point where they're unspoken or untranslateable. Or whether unscrupulous micromanaging tycoon Rupert Murdoch could possibly have known nothing of the massive hacking that was going on in his empire. Stuff like that.

keepem_sikanpor August 4, 2011 at 12:52 am

That would have just exploded their heads.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 4, 2011 at 6:55 am

Spongebob covered all that stuff two seasons ago … these guys need to start paying attention.

Sue4466 August 4, 2011 at 11:36 am

thinking is elitist.

BlueStateLibel August 4, 2011 at 3:49 pm

You'll blows a gasket on those bots if you start talking to them like that.

ShaveTheWhales August 9, 2011 at 9:49 pm

As an utterly unrelated anecdote, I went through Lassen Park for the first time a few days ago. Wildly recommend to any left coasters near enough.

Anyhow, the one of the tribes native to the area had five directions in their view of the world: N, S, E, W, and NW — the NW being the direction of Mt Lassen from where they lived. I'd give it a compass direction, too.

Sorry, it was your reference to basic concepts that set me off.

OneYieldRegular August 4, 2011 at 12:47 am

"a disputed fact"

KenLayIsAlive August 4, 2011 at 12:57 am

That phrasing is so rich Fox n' Friends is saying it deserves a tax cut.

noodlesalad August 4, 2011 at 1:00 am

+1, +1 hilarious, both.

DashboardBuddha August 4, 2011 at 8:59 am

Yeah…that's a head-scratcher. A "disputed fact"? Yes, yes…it's a fact that when I drop a teabagger from a great height, he will plummet to a gory yet colorful death. But I'm not sure about this whole "gravity thing". I'll just dispute that fact for now.

Callyson August 4, 2011 at 1:42 pm

Sort of like FOX' "fair and balanced" news coverage, now that you mention it…

trampndirtdown August 4, 2011 at 12:48 am

Smoke some weed Gretch, You'll even understand Yo Gabba Gabba
Edit : Hiya Spanky too bad you can't comment anymore.

DoktorThompson August 4, 2011 at 12:52 am

If you watch Looney Tunes on Fox, Wile E. Coyote never falls off the cliff because gravity is just a theory.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 4, 2011 at 6:16 am

I've seen some suspicious scenes, where they're clearly pushing a falling anvil agenda.

SorosBot August 4, 2011 at 12:56 am

The government agency showed kids this globe and handed out books that claimed the Earth was round, but they did not tell kids that that is actually a disputed fact. Oops!

KenLayIsAlive August 4, 2011 at 12:56 am

My gawd, the department of education talking to children and handing out books?

Well. I. Never.

Next thing you know our Air Force will be bombing someone.

ThankYouJeebus August 4, 2011 at 12:58 am

Global warming is a big fat lie. I have an ice cap in my freezer that won't budge.

bumfug August 4, 2011 at 1:06 am

All my life my mom told me to not make fun of the retards and I was OK with that but then they put Fox & Friends on and made it so easy. Sorry, mom.

Radiotherapy® August 4, 2011 at 2:27 am

Jack Stuef wasn't allowed to make fun of retards either until he made some comment about a politician's prop being used and then …..chop, chop.

bumfug August 4, 2011 at 2:43 am

They ain't paying me so fuck 'em.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 4, 2011 at 6:18 am

"Retard" and "Retards" are OK, but you can't use "re†arded"?
That's just, well, re†arded.

PubOption August 4, 2011 at 9:14 am

How about 'other than advanced'.

not that Dewey August 4, 2011 at 10:36 am

"differently slow"

tcaalaw August 4, 2011 at 10:17 am

I like your technique of substituting a cross for the "t". It's a clever workaround that preserves the readability of the original while at the same time it adds an entirely new layer of meaning.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 5, 2011 at 4:21 am

As in "Relian† Stadium"?

imissopus August 4, 2011 at 1:20 am

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Gretchen Carlson has reproduced?

SayItWithWookies August 4, 2011 at 1:37 am

Why does that surprise you? If even panda bears and Russian wolfhounds can get it right every once in a while, I'm sure Gretchen could manage it, given some time and practice.

imissopus August 4, 2011 at 1:49 am

Oh sure, I can believe it. I just had an image of lots of little Gretchens running around and it. Was. Horrible.

SayItWithWookies August 4, 2011 at 1:55 am

We can only hope that it skips a generation.

smokefilleddoommate August 4, 2011 at 3:20 am

If she couldn't reproduce, she'd have to kill herself adopt. And that would mean a lot of lying, hair bleach and Aryan blue contacts (for the kids).

Biel_ze_Bubba August 4, 2011 at 6:22 am

Even educated fleas do it.

SorosBot August 4, 2011 at 1:24 am

O/T, but has anyone else been watching Craig Ferguson in Paris this week? It's so strange to see a talk show with almost none of the normal trappings, filmed on the street with no audience except gawkers and therefore no audience laughter, but I think it's been hilarious, and a successful experiment.

Also, I have fallen in love with Kristen Bell all over again and think Ferguson should ditch the robot and Bell should stop doing the shitty romantic comedies she's been starring in ever since Veronica Mars was canceled and become his regular co-host / sidekick.

SayItWithWookies August 4, 2011 at 1:44 am

Monday's show seemed pretty hacked up and aimless for the first half hour, so I lost interest. Also, my favorite part of his show is the rambling, somewhat improvised 20-to-25-minute opening monologue. I understand why he didn't do it, as the episodes were taped, but still — it took away most of my incentive to see more.

Negropolis August 4, 2011 at 2:04 am

It's gotten better as the week has gone on, because Monday's show was pretty horrible. It's gotten a lot better, but some of the pieces are still hit-and-miss. CBS should have given him more money to work with, really. It's a bit too barebones to feature his type of comedy.

emmelemm August 4, 2011 at 2:55 am

I liked his live rendition of the theme song, with the piano. I didn't stay up to watch all of Monday's show, but I was definitely enjoying the randomness.

AJWjr. August 4, 2011 at 10:22 am

My hearing is messed up, necessitating the use of closed-captioning. Too many different accents for the captioners to keep up with, so I'm hopelessly lost, there.

nounverb911 August 4, 2011 at 1:26 am

"My kids watch limited TV"
The only channel on Carlson's tv is Fox Noise.

SayItWithWookies August 4, 2011 at 2:35 am

And if they're good, she lets them turn it off.

smokefilleddoommate August 4, 2011 at 1:33 am

That's okay Gretchen, I'm sure a lot of Fox viewers sometimes wonder why they've tuned in and find you a little hard to follow, but after pressing the mute button and reaching for the Jergens, it all comes back to them.

Negropolis August 4, 2011 at 2:05 am

I get the feeling that there are many things the good Gretchen doesn't get, poor thing.

BTW, for as dumb as Gretchen is, Brian "Killmenow" easily wins Best in Show.

Schmannnity August 4, 2011 at 2:05 am

"My kids watch limited TV but every time they chose that show, I’m like, ‘Why?’ Anyway — it’s hard to even follow sometimes"

It's nice to know that Fox and Friends is less intellectual and easier to follow than Sponge Bob. If only Mr. Crabbe could replace that doofus Brian Kilmeade, and Patrick replaced Doocy, they might have a better shot at relevance and intelligence.

DaRooster August 4, 2011 at 10:44 am

Wait… Doocy isn't played by Patrick?

mavenmaven August 4, 2011 at 2:07 am

She finds it hard to follow as that "humor" thing was always a problem for the right.

BaldarTFlagass August 4, 2011 at 8:38 am

Aren't you forgetting "Hee-Haw"?

Jerry Fjord August 4, 2011 at 9:16 am

Forget, hell! I still remember 'Just call BR549.'

mavenmaven August 4, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Yes, fox news should bring back those dancing piggies.

SayItWithWookies August 4, 2011 at 2:16 am

Now I would understand Fox 'n' Friends' reaction to this if there actually had been a controversy. All the little dogs in the yards yip and yip at the dogs being walked past them that you can pracitcally follow their progress through the neighborhood. This is the same thing, except in this case, there's no dog. Really, FnF just made this up:

Department of Education: "We've Never Shown Any Videos" At The Reading Events. Contrary to Carlson's claim, Tim Tuten of the Department of Education said that the SpongeBob video was not shown at the reading events. "We've never shown any videos ever, so I have no idea where that is coming from," he said. Tuten added that participants were permitted to choose one of dozens of diverse books to take home with them and the SpongeBob book was one of those options.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 4, 2011 at 6:30 am

Faux blowhards ranting about made-up facts? How 'bout that.
In related news, the sun is rising this morning.

FakaktaSouth August 4, 2011 at 8:35 am

"I have no idea where this is coming from" is the reaction I have to just about every single piece of information Fox puts out there.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 5, 2011 at 3:02 am

We know exactly where it's coming from: pulled directly from Roger Ailes' ass.

MissusBarry August 4, 2011 at 8:45 am

Just more evidence of facts' liberal bias.

pinkocommi August 4, 2011 at 3:00 am

I cannot for the life of me understand why the same people who call man's causal connection to global warming a "disputed fact" are so often the same people who firmly believe in god. Why is it so hard for people to understand science based on documented and observable data, but so easy for them to believe whole-heartedly in something that can never, ever be proved?

People are stupid.

MLHencken August 4, 2011 at 5:52 am

I offer the following affirmation:

"How is babby formed?"

BaldarTFlagass August 4, 2011 at 8:39 am

That was rhetorical, right? I mean, you answered your own question.

pinkocommi August 4, 2011 at 3:04 am

Disputed Fact of the Day: Gretchen Carlson has a brain. Discuss.

DaRooster August 4, 2011 at 10:45 am

Looks like a short discussion…

Biel_ze_Bubba August 5, 2011 at 3:04 am

Totally unsupported by any evidence whatsoever (a.k.a. a basic teatard tenet.)

smokefilleddoommate August 4, 2011 at 4:28 am

He lives in a pineapple under the sea. He's absorbent, yellow and porous. Gretchen, if you'd just listen to the fucking theme song maybe SpongeBob wouldn't be so "hard to follow".

Monsieur_Grumpe August 4, 2011 at 5:39 am

Carlson won the title of Miss Minnesota in 1989.
Again, I find myself apologizing for my adopted state.
Radon?
Fluoride?
Hotdish?
Mosquito repellant overdoes?

MLHencken August 4, 2011 at 5:53 am

Lutefisk. It 's the lye. Rots yer brain.

Barrelhse August 4, 2011 at 8:12 am

It's all those lakes. There must be 10,000 of them.

MLHencken August 4, 2011 at 9:07 am

Garrison Keilior upfists you. With a hotdish.

BaldarTFlagass August 4, 2011 at 9:18 am

Building that many dams sure must have kept the Corps of Engineers and Bureau of Reclamation busy. Fucking boondoggles.

AJWjr. August 4, 2011 at 10:39 am

And that waste of a Stanford education, too. Plus, now according to teh wiki, good ol' one "L" Miche1e was her nanny!

mayor_quimby August 4, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Please, please tell me that isn't true! Jesus fucking christ on a stick, is there just a nonstop incest-fest going on at Faux?

AJWjr. August 4, 2011 at 2:46 pm
ttommyunger August 4, 2011 at 2:56 pm

In fairness to your State, that was long before she went cross-eyed from sucking on Rupert's wrinkled goober day after day.

metamarcisf August 4, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Bret Favre

Biel_ze_Bubba August 5, 2011 at 3:06 am

Oh man, that's a low blow … show 'em a litte mercy, will ya?

ShaveTheWhales August 9, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Well, strictly speaking, he's from Mizzizzippi.

Goonemeritus August 4, 2011 at 7:25 am

Some say that Steve Doocy and Gretchen Carlson are high priest and priestess of a cult that rips the heads off kittens and stack them in neat pyramids. I recognize that the two deny this allegation but since it’s in dispute shouldn’t Fox be reporting on it?

ManchuCandidate August 4, 2011 at 8:07 am

What's sad is that Doocey and Gretch the Wretch are way less intelligent than Spongebob even though he is just a piece of celluloid while, sigh, both Doochey and Wretch are allegedly human beings.

Grief_Lessons August 4, 2011 at 8:16 am

"Allegedly human beings"

I dispute that allegation.

Limeylizzie August 4, 2011 at 8:16 am

OT but this made me love Chris Christie for a brief , shining moment.

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/2011/08/awe

johnnyzhivago August 4, 2011 at 8:38 am

Too cool to snark over! But it's going to go right over the heads of the Hillbillies out here in Western NJ….

Limeylizzie August 4, 2011 at 8:41 am

Amazing, I love his response to the idiot who asked about Sharia Law.

FakaktaSouth August 4, 2011 at 8:52 am

Had I read that transcript without anyone telling me who said it, I would NEVER have guess the big CC. Also makes me a tidge sad – I'm having to be all surprised and excited over someone not being a racist, but giving a person a job based on merit and ability.

Limeylizzie August 4, 2011 at 8:57 am

I know, it saddened me that this was in the North East and not the Deep South , where you , sadly, expect some lunatic to pose a question about Sharia Law.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 5, 2011 at 3:10 am

I'm proud to say that in the Northeast, even our teatard politicians are endowed with a moderate dose of brains. With the exception, of course, of that dick from Staten Island (the Mississippi of New York City.)

MLHencken August 4, 2011 at 9:09 am

Careful, Lizzie. Get too close and he may eat you.

starfanglednut August 4, 2011 at 9:10 am

We need to get Barney on it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYlZiWK2Iy8

BlueMonkeh August 4, 2011 at 9:10 am

Chris Christie is right. (Didn't think I'd ever say that.)

Why in the hell can't more of our elected and appointed officials call out the nutbaggery for what it is?

metamarcisf August 4, 2011 at 9:42 am

Sorry, but Chris Christie is a RHINO. The "H" stands for "Hamburger".

metamarcisf August 4, 2011 at 9:54 am

If you're interested, auditions are being held for Christie's new reality show, "Two and a Half Tons"

Limeylizzie August 4, 2011 at 10:01 am

We could each play one of his legs.

GOPCrusher August 4, 2011 at 1:45 pm

Well, I guess that should put to an end any further talk of Chris Christie as a Republiklan candidate for President.

Limeylizzie August 4, 2011 at 1:49 pm

Is he secretly one of us??

gurukalehuru August 4, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Who is that intelligent, articulate and seemingly liberal gentleman at the microphone? He bears a striking physical resemblance to teabagger dumbass Chris Christie.

johnnyzhivago August 4, 2011 at 8:29 am

This gives me the ammunition to demand that our school board point out that it's a "disputed fact" about the earth being round, that man landed on the moon and that it was Martians who attacked us at Pearl Harbor.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 5, 2011 at 3:13 am

Got hold of a Texas schoolbook, did ya?

FakaktaSouth August 4, 2011 at 8:45 am

I have noticed this my own self – that Nickelodeon and also Disney can be very conscientious with Michelle O and Linda Ellerby and the "news for kids" – topics including health, exercise, education, environment AND PERSONAL AND COMMUNITY RESPONSIBILITY IN GENERAL. I find that Gretchen Carlson's repudiation of these channels reinforces my thought that these are VERY good things. Fuck you, Gretch.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 5, 2011 at 3:14 am

"Gretched" or "Wretchen"? We need to vote.

poncho_pilot August 4, 2011 at 8:48 am

always with the ramming, these people…
http://www.treehugger.com/Tea%20Party.jpg

Jerry Fjord August 4, 2011 at 9:15 am

Sex, sex, sex…that's all the ever think about. Prob cause it's so suppressed in them.

MissusBarry August 4, 2011 at 8:51 am

How could poor, feeble Gretch be expected to understand SpongeBob…why would they anthropomorphize those things next to the shower gel at the Walmart? If you aren't even aware of the theory that sponges are animals, disputed fact or not, the whole premise just falls apart.

DashboardBuddha August 4, 2011 at 8:56 am

"My kids watch limited TV but every time they chose that show, I’m like, ‘Why?’ "

Are you that stupid? Weren't you once a kid? One of the big reasons to like something is because your parents hated it.

not that Dewey August 4, 2011 at 10:40 am

Or because it's on teevee. Kids aren't that discriminating.

AJWjr. August 4, 2011 at 10:44 am

Yep, like boogers. And poop.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 5, 2011 at 3:17 am

Your theory falls flat given the evidence of (1) Sesame Street (at least in its '90s incarnation) and (2) Rocky & Bullwinkle.

Or did parents manage to hide the (disputed) fact that they loved these shows?

poncho_pilot August 4, 2011 at 9:02 am

i don't know how people can watch Buster Friendly and His Friendly Friends and take any of this shit seriously.

starfanglednut August 4, 2011 at 9:12 am

Gravity: Just a theory
Evolution: Just a theory
Global warming: Just a theory
Sponge Bob: Too hard to follow

weejee August 4, 2011 at 10:09 am

Economics: A foolz errand

AJWjr. August 4, 2011 at 10:45 am

Gawd: Indisputed fact.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 5, 2011 at 3:18 am

FSM: ditto.

weejee August 4, 2011 at 9:19 am

Gretch graduated cum laude in science stupid from Stanford. Need to lean on Hopey to pull all the Cardinal's science funding to help with the cost cutting.

FakaktaSouth August 4, 2011 at 9:47 am

Bleh this info made me look at her wikipedia. She's married to a sports agent (baseball – including Jeter apparently and Ryan Howard and some other big big money) who's like repping for people who are in a UNION for Christ's sake. How can this BE???
It's SO HARD to be a hardliner who sticks to the stuff they say, just ask Michele FHA Bachmann, right???

snarkycomments August 4, 2011 at 2:37 pm

So what you're telling us (I think, it's hard to parse your thought processes from your writing) is that it's all an act? You're saying that she's not really stupid, she's just pandering to the barely sentient mouth-breathers who make up her audience? Okay. You've convinced me: Gretchen Carlson is an intelligent woman who has zero respect for her audience and for the American people.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 5, 2011 at 3:23 am

Stanford gives rise to a surprising number of wingnuts. The Hoover Institute is like this festering herpes sore that they just can't get rid of, and it's a magnet for right-wingers with an inexplicable talent for taking standardized tests.

BaldarTFlagass August 4, 2011 at 9:21 am

handed out these particular Nickelodeon books where clearly Nickelodeon is pushing a global warming agenda.

"It's a cookbook!!!!"

Steverino247 August 4, 2011 at 9:54 am

Unfortunately, we're all cooking. However, it's worse is Texas so there's a bright side to it.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 5, 2011 at 3:25 am

OMG … Spongebob is out to serve man?

metamarcisf August 4, 2011 at 9:40 am

Hopefully when the gay cartoon character SpongeBob Square Pants changes his mind and informs our kids about the climate change communist conspiracy, he will be offered his own show, in Glenn Beck's old time slot.

CalamityJames August 4, 2011 at 9:48 am

Let me get this straight: the ENTIRE fucking world is in the middle of a fucking nosedive of epic proportions, Somalia is starving to death, literally, Syria is being destroyed, FAA is shutdown for freedumz while congress is on a paid vacation, and the one goddamned thing the cunt twins are worried about is a talking sponge possibly teaching their kids about a well established FACTFACTFACTFACTFACTFACT.

Sounds about right. Moving on.

joobajooba August 4, 2011 at 10:08 am

Actually, Carlson had it about right when he said blaming man for global warming is a "disputed fact." It is a fact, disputed by people who refuse to believe facts.

DaRooster August 4, 2011 at 10:48 am

"…it’s hard to even follow sometimes."

"When you have a pea sized brain like mine."

DangerHelvetica August 4, 2011 at 11:30 am

And there was this episode where he was fired from the Krusty Krab and collected waterfare (that's their version of welfare) checks all day

littlebigdaddy August 4, 2011 at 12:26 pm

If SpongeBob is a liberal show, then why is Patrick obviously a Republican?

Ducksworthy August 4, 2011 at 12:37 pm

One last comment Gretchen. Once something has been established as a fact, only morans continue to dispute it.

Billmatic August 4, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Wow. Gretchen thinks SpongeBob is hard to follow, no wonder she doesn't understand climate change.

poorgradstudent August 4, 2011 at 1:26 pm

The US military officially lists climate change as a threat to national security and is investing in "green" technologies. Why does Gretchen hate our fighting men and women so much she would publicly call them liars?

Serolf_Divad August 4, 2011 at 1:29 pm

All you need to know about Gretchen Carlson is the fact that she finds Spongebob Squarepants "challenging" to follow.

I'd like to hand her a Raymond Chandler novel and laugh as I watch her head explode.

metamarcisf August 4, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Or the Cliff Notes to Finnegan's Wake.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 5, 2011 at 3:33 am

Or the Hardy Boys, or Nancy Drew … it really won't take much.

Camaro Nova August 4, 2011 at 2:46 pm

What a perfect little slip there – "disputed fact." There is no such thing as a 'disputed fact' Mr Doocy and Ms Carlson. Yet, this is what the teatards are all about – disputing facts (climate change, evolution, the earth is not flat, the heliocentric system, etc)

ttommyunger August 4, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Equally matched opponents: the three Faux Stooges and Cartoon Characters.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 5, 2011 at 3:34 am

How are they equally matched, when Gretched just admitted defeat?

ttommyunger August 5, 2011 at 6:43 am

I'm waiting for her to admit cross-eyed, ugly and stupid.

SheriffRoscoe August 4, 2011 at 3:10 pm

I used to put on a towel "cape" and fly around like Superman. If my mom wondered why, she never showed it.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 5, 2011 at 3:38 am

That's 'cause she didn't find DC comics "hard to follow".
Was she a Democrat, or an old-school Republican?

Limeylizzie August 4, 2011 at 9:50 am

Well, Good Morning to you and thanks for the instant moistness!

HistoriCat August 4, 2011 at 10:29 am

Always a pleasure!

MLHencken August 4, 2011 at 10:41 am

Instant Moistness. Available at your local pharmacy.

not that Dewey August 4, 2011 at 10:38 am

You decide!

not that Dewey August 4, 2011 at 11:30 am

That won't satisfy Erick Erickson.

snarkycomments August 4, 2011 at 2:30 pm

"moran"

Biel_ze_Bubba August 5, 2011 at 3:11 am

Santorum pre-mix, now with aloe!

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