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bike terrorist!President Obama is celebrating his birthday tonight, with Jennifer Hudson and those treadmill-dancing fellows. He is doing this in Chicago, so your Wonkette decided to give up a perfectly good Wednesday evening to try to go hear Rahm Emanuel yell some swears. This did not happen, and overall it was a very boring street gathering of Poors unable to pay their way inside. But we took pictures anyway, so there you go.

Our President decided to hold his birthday fiesta at the Aragon Ballroom, which is located in Chicago’s Uptown neighborhood, home of immigrants, refugees, meth addicts and lunchtime drive-bys. The Crazies did not really act out any more than usual, and did not really seem to care that President Obama was having a $$$uper fun 50th while they waited for their food stamps to be reloaded. There was a brief moment of excitement when a biker man in a black skirt and pink pigtails decided to just pedal on through the security barrier, forcing Chicago police to waddle over to him, yelling “Hey you, uh, stop that!”
no poors allowed
Bored people waiting outside thought that maybe Barry would come “say hi” but HA HA, he does not do that, silly Poors.
america, in summary
We were especially disappointed that there was no Tea Party “Jobs Bash” at the bar across the street. We thought that maybe they had been scared off by the Ethiopian restaurants and Pride flags, but oh, it also turns out that you can’t just have organized events at bars that hate you, according to the guy checking ID at the door. “I’m sure you will see them around the neighborhood, looking glassy-eyed and out of place,” he said, with hate in his eyes. Happy birthday, Barry!

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