Hooray, Fraud Everywhere Envelops Looming Wisconsin Recall Elections!

  chaos and anarchy

and this is exactly how it arrived in the mail.Wisconsin’s critical elections to recall six Republican legislators and regain control of the state senate take place next week on August 9, which means it is time for the privately-funded organisms of Terror and Death to hurl into action with all their vote-inhibiting might. We have pictured here an actual Voter Deception mailer blingee courtesy of the Koch Brothers front-group Americans For Prosperity, who were caught sending out these “save the date” invitations to potential voters with, hoh boy, THE WRONG DATE!

The election is on August 9th, meaning that voters mailing in their absentee ballots “before August 11th” will be Sad Losers. Oh also, the “Absentee Ballot Application Processing Center” listed on the mailer where you send your application is just David Koch’s asshole. An anonymous Democratic source told Politico that AFP was mailing these things to Democratic voters, although the story does not say how many people got them or how many Democrats got them or really any other kind of journalistic information to indicate the scope of the problem. But why let that ruin the widespread liberal outrage!

Okay fine, here is an AP article with some tidbits:

The mailing, which the group says was sent to about 10,000 voters in the six Republican senators’ districts, states that absentee ballots received the Thursday before the election will be counted, which is accurate. But in a section that gives step-by-step instructions, the letter states that ballots received before Aug. 11 by city clerks would be counted.

Americans for Prosperity state director Matt Seaholm said Tuesday that a typo was to blame for the error and he called the complaints over the mailing frivolous.

Yeah, so they’re still evil, nobody worry. Anyway, also:

  • The LaCrosse office of the Democratic We Are Wisconsin PAC was mysteriously razed to the ground last weekend. Subtle! Was there a horse head left in front, too?
  • The DNC was also caught making robocalls in Republican districts giving people an election date of August 16 and told to knock this the hell off.
  • Scott Walker put on a humanoid mask and signed a bill to extend jobless benefits by another 13 weeks for unemployed Wisconsin workers, probably with some invisible inky fine print saying that he promises to rescind the bill as soon as the recall elections are over.

CHAOS RULEZ FREEDOM DROOLZ. [Politico/ AP]

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290 comments

    1. PristinePantalones

      But it's ONLY a typo. Of course, they could have, you know, accidentally typed in an earlier date so the recipients would still have their votes count, but, um.

  1. Barb

    I like the scars on the blingee. It must represent Scott Walkers' torn anus from his bending over for the Koch brothers. Rectum! Damn near killed him!

    1. DaSandman

      Hehe, Babs will be playing in our lounge all week, ladies and gentlemen. Try the veal :)

        1. DaSandman

          I spent 25 years on the show biz road, he says from his mountain redoubt.

          But Lady, if you're going I'm in :)

    2. salt_bagel

      Doubt it. Dude's middle name is Gaping. What's the saying? Oh yeah "like throwing a hotdog down a hallway".

    3. Limeylizzie

      OT, but Barb, I just had one of those adventures whereby I was locked out of the house! Middle of the day in LA , hot as Hades and me in my jammies , I answered the door to the UPS guy and the door slammed and there I was locked out with a huge load of packages that had just been delivered, that was at 11.30 am and I have just got back in the house about 5 minutes ago.

      1. Nothingisamiss

        A little imagination on what was in those packages, what jammies you had on and there's a good lil' story you might want to tell…….

        1. Limeylizzie

          Saucepans, sweatpants and a tee shirt. The only good story was me pondering whether I should scale the ladder that was on our deck, climb the roof-we live in a classic A-Frame kit house from 1961, so it's very steeply pitched, sneak in the bathroom window and live happily ever after. I decided against it, I ran to my stepdaughter's house-about 8 blocks and 2 hills away-borrowed a notepad and pen from a passing gardener and left what looked like a ransom note under a rock , pleading with her to save me when she got home, as she has keys. It took another 3 hours before I gained admittance!

  2. memzilla

    It's like watching an updated version of how Goebbels engineered the elections in Germany in 1933. What's next, burning down the Wisconsin State Capitol and blaming it on Rachel Maddow and Michael Moore?

    [The number in the ad comes back to "Bankers Mortgage" in Milwaukee. Makes sense... we've mortgaged our future to the bankers.]

    1. SorosBot

      Well the wrong people voting; the GOP is doing everything in their power to get around the 15th and 24th amendments, just look at all states putting up voter ID laws which are just disguised poll taxes.

      1. HogeyeGrex

        Not to mention all the DMV shenanigans Walker is pulling to make sure the wrong people can't vote.

  3. MrFizzy

    Wouldn't it be dandy to see the Koch Bros and Governor Dingleberry covered in Cheese Whiz ™ and set alight, like a turd flambe?

    1. DahBoner

      Just add a giant double headed dildo up their asses and you got your grant request in the mail to the Robert Mapplethorpe Foundation

  4. BaldarTFlagass

    "The LaCrosse of Democratic fundraiser We Are Wisconsin PAC "

    Is this a new model of Cadillac or something, this "LaCrosse?"

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        Dang. Now that you mention it, you're right. Also, now that you've mentioned it, there ain't a goddam thing I can do to rectify it. I won't delete and mystify all those who follow, though, and I'll leave my ignorance up there for all to see, and hope another post gets made quickly by Wonkette Jr and distracts everyone here.

    1. BlueMonkeh

      had to click on the link to figure that one out…

      "Fire Destroys We Are Wisconsin PAC Offices in La Crosse"

    2. BaldarTFlagass

      And now the original has been tampered with, fixed if you will, and my snark plane has crashed into the fucking mountain.

      1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

        The Koch Brothers have no decency. Now they have even infiltrated Wonkette just to kill our jokes!!!

    1. jaytingle

      That thing they fret about on Fox News Channel is called the New Black Panther Party and his name is Malik.

  5. BaldarTFlagass

    "Americans For Prosperity," at least, is an honest sobriquet, although they left off the "of our Masters" part.

    1. Ducksworthy

      Hey, watch it Baldar. I'm going to win the lottery any day now (as soon as I can find a dollar in change in my couch to buy a ticket) so I'm glad these Kochsuckers are looking out for me.

        1. user-of-owls

          We'll make you watch the whole horrifying thing. I've seen 'em in action and you cannot imagine what the do to the IRA-ROTH using only strands of rusty barbed wire, a hand cranked generator, sewing needles and those small but powerful creme brulee blow torch. Oh, and just to raise the terror bar, during the 'interrogation; of the poor IRA-ROTH, they bring in a shackled and limping TIAA-CREF account and force to watch then entire thing…

      1. PristinePantalones

        But only if you're: 1. Brown or darker; 2. Female nonshriekingrightwingharpy; 3. Gay; 4. Lefty/Lib/Dem/Progressive/nonshriekingrightwingharpy.

    1. DahBoner

      Vote Republican, or we'll shoot this dog ruin this economy and then blame the Black Guy.

      //fixed

  6. missemish

    So my choices are horrendously corrupt or so incompetent they don't know the date of the election? Hooboy.

  7. Come here a minute

    There is no error — ballots must be received before August 11. They just didn't say how long before August 11: at least two days.

  8. PsycWench

    "a typo was to blame for the error" is the new "was not intended to be a factual statement".

    1. Chet Kincaid

      The typo is the error, so how can it be anthropomorphized and blamed for itself? I didn't realize people were still practicing Animism in the wilds of the NFC North.

  9. slithytoves

    This reminds me of the sausage races they used to have at County Stadium in Milw. at the 7th inning stretch.

        1. jus_wonderin

          I have been one of the fortunate to be able to hire a sausage holder. I know, I boast. But, if one can afford it, if you find a sausage holder available; grab one.

    1. baconzgood

      We have perogies race at the game. Perogies are better that's why one of the Pirates clunked that Braut in the mellon.

    2. GOPCrusher

      They still have them at Miller Park, that is when the Cardinals and Brewers aren't having a full blown fist fight on the diamond.

      Go Cubs!

    3. poncho_pilot

      they should fire brats at them with the hot dog launcher. make it more American Gladiators-like.

    4. Negropolis

      At Comerica Park, we have the running of the guns (to Canada), but it's an entirely different concept than a sausage run.

    1. DustBowlBlues

      Democrats didn't do shit to defend ACORN against the bogus attacks, probably because the Ds, as usual, had no idea the other side was energized and on a mission to destruct the "other side," as they see anyone who doesn't agree with every looney idea they come up with. No matter that's what the conservatards were publicly declaring.

      In their defense, even I didn't see how many of the Rs were "suiciders", to quote the president-the-tards-will-not-mention.

    1. DahBoner

      "Fucking Democrat’s why can’t they ever invent their own forms of fraud."

      Possible patent infringement lawsuits from GOP.

  10. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Haven't you people read the Wall Street Journal or watched FOX News? Voter Fraud is all you have to worry about. Sure, it doesn't really happen, but you can prevent poor people from voting at the same time. Voter suppression is just fine, as it prevents brown people and Democrats from voting.

    Come on, it is as clear as the Ann on nose's face.

    1. OneYieldRegular

      I saw a suit reading the WSJ on the train yesterday. The headline of one story read "Europe's Youth Face Scarcity of Jobs." The unemployment rate for African-American youth is around 40%, and the WSJ feels compelled to point out Europe's failings?

      1. DahBoner

        "the WSJ feels compelled to point out Europe's failings."

        Actually, thanks to Socialism, most of Europe pulled out of the current recession long before we did…

      2. GOPCrusher

        Yeah, but African-American youth are just lazy and shiftless. They just choose to be unemployed, or incarcerated.
        Nothing to see here!

  11. BaldarTFlagass

    I'm surprised that the Kochs aren't flying in some election consultants from Zimbabwe or Teheran. Them boys know how to get results!

    1. GOPCrusher

      Wouldn't people get suspicious if Ahmadeadinnerjacket was elected Governor of Wisconsin?

  12. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Democratic source told Politico that AFP was mailing these things to Democratic voters, although the story does not say how many people got them or how many Democrats got them or really any other kind of journalistic information to indicate the scope of the problem.

    Hense why there was the ban on linking to Politico, I believe.

    1. prommie

      They found some retired guys in Miami who used to do a lot of campaign consulting in central america, they were cheap.

  13. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Scott Walker put on a humanoid mask and signed a bill to extend jobless benefits by another 13 weeks for unemployed Wisconsin workers, probably with some invisible inky fine print saying that he promises to rescind the bill as soon as the recall elections are over.

    Scott Walker: RINO? Socialist Muslim? Or is there also a part of the bill that excludes Koch Industries from paying unemployment tax?

    1. FakaktaSouth

      I can see that phone call from Walker to a Koch Bro: "Look, sir, if you want me to have any chance of staying here to do your bidding, I gotta do something that'll throw them off. You can understand that, right sir? Can it be okay just this once? I'll make it up to you – better than you could even hope. I promise."
      I really believe this.

    2. Rotundo_

      Don't worry, Scooter will do something truly awful to make up for it. I'm thinking he will start bouncing olds on Medicaid in nursing homes out on their asses shortly, or at least stiffing the nursing homes so they, in turn, throw them out. He may go humanitarian on them again by proposing the NRA solution: Giving the homeless and dementia ridden a small caliber pistol, loaded and cocked, safety off and holding it to their head and "helping them" through the problem.

    3. horsedreamer_1

      He's hurt by th proliferating recall signs in his neighbourhood — including on his own block. He's doing what he can to suck up.

  14. SayItWithWookies

    It's errors like this that prompt cautious election officials to keep a spare box of filled-out ballots in the back room to cover for any possible oversights.

  15. Crank_Tango

    Hmm usually when I make typos, I press adjacent keys–I don't usually press twice on a key that is nowhere near the one I mean to press on, and also happens to be a higher number than what I intend, but then again I'm not a teabagger.

      1. Crank_Tango

        oh that's for sure. I make some amazing typos. definitely. just not this peculiar subset of double digit two-day-late kinda typo.

  16. NorthStarSpanx

    Once again, a "typo" and "frivolous" complaints on something "not meant to be factual" save the day for R's.

  17. KenLayIsAlive

    "Americans for Prosperity state director Matt Seaholm said Tuesday that a typo was to blame for the error and he called the complaints over the mailing frivolous."

    Can someone get Dan Savage on this Seaholm character? I suggest "Seaholm: the frivolous mixture of "typos" and "errors" found in a Republican's asshole of a brain."

  18. Thurman Munster IV

    Everybody call 414 476 7900 and tell the nice people to suck a bag of salted rat dicks. Political operators are standing by

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Havelock Vetinari?

      No, couldn't be him–he believes in one man, one vote. As long as he's the one man.

      1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Katherine Harris was Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann before they jumped into the deep end of the crazy pool. If the 'baggers had been around eight years ago, she would be the Senior Senator from Florida.

  19. Ducksworthy

    Fortunately we will never have to know which patriotic Amurrikans (and/or Saudi Princes) are funding AFP.

  20. CrunchyKnee

    "Was there a horse head left in front, too?"

    If there were it wouldn't have lasted long – I wish I had a bit of horse head to go with my hobo beans.

    1. PristinePantalones

      You never read, or saw the film of, "The Tin Drum," did you?

      BRB. Must hork up my lunch now.

  21. prommie

    Scalia and Thomas and Stepford Creep Roberts are already drafting their decision upholding the right of the Kochs, and Scaifes, and DeVoses, to commit election fraud, finding that this inalienable right to lie to voters and frudulently interfere with elections is contained within the supreme and over-arching sacrosanct right of Corporate Free Speach, emanating from the Corporate Free Speach right and cloaking these protected lies and acts of fraud in the umbra and penumbra, as it were, of the corporate speach being effected through lies and fraud.

    1. V572 Hair of Destiny

      No one is going to be piercing the corporate veil, you can see that right now.

    2. DustBowlBlues

      Already drafting it? Make that paste tense. They have a form ready and all they have to do is write in the actual parties.

      Thomas asks no questions, ever, because he's got a whole stack of them–Corporations and/or Republican party win. Democrats/Unions suck my balls.

  22. PubOption

    It's a variation on the old Republican mailer, which told Democrats to vote after the election was over "to reduce congestion in polling places".

    1. PristinePantalones

      Exactly. It's a known tactic for their side and should have been expected, anticipated, prepared for. Unfortunately, strategerical thinking is not a skill taught to pretty much anyone except bloodsucking sharks, i.e., MBAs. Still, good work, Wisconsin peeps, for making sure it got publicity. Let's hope each and every Democratic voter takes the trouble to inform themselves and cast their vote.

  23. Oblios_Cap

    Jay Gould had just then reversed the commercial morals of the United States. He had put a blight upon them from which they have never recovered, and from which they will not recover for as much as a century to come. Jay Gould was the mightiest disaster to ever befallen this country. The people had desired money before his day, but he taught them to fall down and worship it. They had respected men of means before his day, but along with this respect was joined the respect due the character and industry which had accumulated it. But Jay Gould taught the entire nation to make a god of the money and the man, no matter how the money might have been acquired. In my youth there was nothing resembling a worship of money or of its possessor, in our region. And in our region, no well-to-do man was ever charged with having acquired his money by shady methods.
    The gospel left behind by Jay Gould is doing giant work these days. Its message is “Get money. Get it quickly. Get it in abundance. Get it in prodigious abundance. Get it dishonestly if you can, honestly if you must.”

    O/T a bit, but this Mark Twain gem seems to express the situation quite nicely.

    1. Beowoof

      Always love a Mark Twain relate. He summed up the politicians of his day, who by no suprise are the same as the politicans of our day.

  24. Toomush_Infer

    In the meantime, couldn't these folks just be arrested and held till trial? – I'm pretty sure unduly influencing elections is a felony….

    1. GOPCrusher

      We used to have a Department of Justice in this country that would investigate those kind of crimes. They got defunded in the debt ceiling deal.

    1. DahBoner

      No one can blame Republicans for "inaction".

      Republicans are honestly doing as much as they can to make things worse.

  25. BaldarTFlagass

    So, has anyone called that phone number at the bottom of the Blingee? Maybe it's a Scott Walker Sex Chat line. Only $3.99/minute, charged to your credit card!

    Edit: Dang, Thurman beat me to this one. This whole thread is just chock full o' fail for me. Maybe I ought to get some work done.

    1. Limeylizzie

      Why, yes I just called , you can leave a message full of snark, mockery and faux outrage, well that's what I did.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        I hope you used your posh-est English accent, the one that comes with the "here's looking down at you" sneer that one knows is there but can't quite put one's finger on.

        1. Limeylizzie

          I started with 'I am an immigrant from the United Kindom, I have lived in Wisconsin for several years now…”

    2. MissusBarry

      Don't be so hard on yourself. I haven't been able to come up with jack shit today, myself, so you're still well ahead of me. Fuck work, I'm thinking it's time to head to the bar.

  26. weejee

    Continuing the meme of Dick Tuck trickstering, just assign two large black male poll watchers to look-out for Teabaggery at the doors of each certified Wonderbread Conservtard polling place. Do that and the Derats win in a walk.

    1. Steverino247

      Tuck was quite the guy. He once lined up a string of (obviously) pregnant women wearing "Nixon's the One" buttons at Nixon campaign train stops and even vandalized his own campaign signs, changing the T to an F. We need a guy like that on our side again…

      1. DahBoner

        " He once lined up a string of (obviously) pregnant women wearing "Nixon's the One" buttons at Nixon campaign train stops"

        And now we know that Nixon never had sex.

        Even with his wife….

        1. PristinePantalones

          I remember him complaining that he couldn't get it down Pat. Maybe someone shoulda told him that's not how ya do it.

  27. V572 Coif of Destiny

    "The DNC was also caught making robocalls in Republican districts giving people an election date of August 16 and told to knock this the hell off."

    So you see both sides are equally guilty. It doesn't matter if there was only one Dem robocall to 10,000 Koch fliers, BOTH SIDES ARE DOING IT THE SYSTEM IS BROKEN CONFLICT = NEWS AND EQUIVALENCE, FALSE OR TRUE = OBJECTIVITY.

    1. HobbesEvilTwin

      the DNC idiots do make it harder to cry foul. I am pretty sure that if you were printing or recording a message that included an important date you would double and triple check that date for accuracy.

    2. ShaveTheWhales

      As I recall, the elections for the recall of Dem senators are, in fact, Aug 16, so it's at least possible that they robo-ed the wrong message to some folks.

      There is no election on Aug 11.

  28. poorgradstudent

    Hey, those articles left out the part where somebody gets arrested for something so blatant!

    On an unrelated note, what do you call it when you laugh and cry at the same time?

  29. emmelemm

    Can we get the UN to step in and oversee elections in our little Third World country over here? Sweet Christ on a cracker.

  30. orygoon

    It would be funny, except that my dad was from Wisconsin and I have a half-zillion lovely, lovely relatives who live there. They are mostly in terrible shape and have been for some time. (They live in the Janesville area–NO JOBS, GIANT GM PLANT CLOSED, REVERBS ALL AROUND. You can buy a wonderful, beautiful house in Janesville for $35,000. Someone recently did–my grandparents/great-grandparents gorgeous house. Downside: it might take you years and years to sell a house. And it's in Ryan's district, also.)

    1. PristinePantalones

      I feel sorry for those voters who live in Ryan's district, but did not vote for him. Is there a prayer of him losing his seat?

      1. orygoon

        I don't know if he's vulnerable–it's called a swing district but he's had that seat for a long time. If I had a few more cousins he'd be history. You should hear my 80-year-old stepmother rant about him–if she had a little more voodoo, he'd be toast.

    2. GOPCrusher

      Again, how can an asshat like Ryan get elected in an area like that? It never ceases to amaze me how people that have been on the front line of the class war against the corporatists and their Republiklan lackeys could vote for one to represent them.

  31. SpurningBeer

    The hurly-burly of American full-contact politics is just healthy rivalry that reflects the give-and-take of different opinions and visions for our great country. Your side deviously strips unions of the ability to negotiate for public employees, our side mounts weeks of noisy protests. Our side files to recall your legislators, your side burns down our building. In America, politics is a contact sport! We're just passionate, that's all!

    Jah, how I wish I could experience all this in the Sports Fan mode some people can. When I'm moved to feel disgust and rage at the hateful, greedy, bilious ugliness of the conservative warriors, I feel contaminated.

    Consider this thought experiment: Do you enjoy the fantasy of watching Andrew Breitbart's urethra and anus Krazy-Glued shut, and his nose clamped shut with Vise Grips? And his mouth Duct Taped shut with a mouthful of santorum inside? And then you get to watch him turn blue and twitch and go limp?

    Now don't you feel dirty inside? I resent having my peace ruined like that. You know, with the urethra and everything.

    1. donner_froh

      Now don't you feel dirty inside?

      If "go limp" means "suffer the agonies of the damned while slowly watching the events of his worthless life go by as he struggles for just one more breath" then no, I feel fine.

      1. PristinePantalones

        That's what you say now. Most people find it very difficult to actually hurt another person. And now I feel dirty inside.

  32. user-of-owls

    So we hoid dat Wisconsin opened a business. Dat's good news, you got a nice little state dere. Real nice.

    It'd be a shame if somethin' happened to it, know what I mean?

  33. mavenmaven

    The thing about the tea baggers is that as much as they are obsessed with Sharia law, it almost seems like a Freudian thing, that they really want that kind of power- here's what the Sunni commentator Abdul Hamid Saddiqi says about the concept of Al-Taqqiyah (the ends justify the means) :

    Telling of a lie is a grave sin but a Muslim is permitted to tell a
    lie in some exceptional cases, and this permission is given especially
    on three occasions: in case of battle…

  34. user-of-owls

    Official Comment from the Partido Revolucionario Institucional (PRI) in Mexico:

    Je, je je. JE, JE JE!

  35. V572 Hair of Destiny

    OT but where are the Drudge sirens? Pat Buchanan might be a racist! This is huge news, as he referred to Obama "your boy" while speaking to Al Sharpton.

    Man: Sharpton and Buchanan on the same show. What a confluence of bullshit! That's the real story here.

    1. Nopantsmcgee

      I simply couldn't listen to Cenk Uygar anymore. I just couldn't, so I secretly hoped he would get replaced. He's juts not that good at doing that.

      Jesus, Mary and Joesph I had no idea how good I had it with Cenk until Rev Al took over. Who in the hell told him he had the talent to anchor a news/interview show?

    2. DahBoner

      "As he referred to Obama "your boy" while speaking to Al Sharpton."

      BOMBSHELL!!!!

      Is Buchanan implying that Obama's Daddy ain't Kenyan, but good old fashioned American Nigra Al Sharpton?

  36. SorosBot

    But remember, it's the union members who are "thugs" and "goons", not the good old criminal enterprise of the GOP election-rigging apparatus.

    Fuck, these guys make Nixon look like an honest campaigner.

    1. Barrelhse

      Also, if mailing fecal matter it could be subjected to DNA testing so don't send your own.

  37. Tommmcatt

    Under a democratical government, the citizens exercise the powers of sovereignty; and those powers will be first abused, and afterwards lost, if they are committed to an unwieldy multitude.

    - Edward Gibbon, The History of the Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire, 1776-1788

  38. mooncrushworld

    Salon link re:DNC robocalls won't open on smrtfone. But I am torn between thinking that it sucks we have to stoop to GOP tactics, and thinking that playing nice with people like the GOP didn't get Neville Chamberlain far. Godwin smackdown AHOY.

  39. MissTaken

    "Americans for Prosperity state director Matt Seaholm"

    Thank you for providing yet another name to block from trying to friend me on the Facetwit.

  40. prommie

    I hope they plan to send out that helpful warning, especially in those "urban" districts, advising potential voters that anyone who owes child support, has skipped bail, has unpaid parking tickets, or any kind of warrant, will be screened out and arrested at the polls, and further, if they have any charges or convictions, charged with attempted vote fraud because they shouldn't be voting. Thats important information, and it s public service that the Kochs fund efforts to inform the public.

    1. El Pinche

      I can't even imagine what liberal vileness was deleted by the wonklords. I bet it was dripping with santorum.

      1. GOPCrusher

        I can only thank Yahweh that I live in a country that allows me to witness such a wonderous sight.

  41. donner_froh

    While no new evidence of Politico's total incompetence in asking questions or reporting facts is ever necessary, it can be pointed out that compared to the Politico story the AP item reads like it was written by A.J. Leibling and edited by Harlod Ross.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      "Pearce did not respond to efforts for comment on this story."

      Well of course not! He was just waiting for someone to write a witty comment so he could copy and paste it.

  42. Nopantsmcgee

    I understand all the Democrats are "admitted heterosexuals", too. According to the Kochsuckers latest calls, anyway.

  43. jus_wonderin

    Ok, is the petition at the top a trick to get me to click all over the page. I reload Wonkette, get ready to click a posting, and the page moves down. Therefore, I have clicked the Andrew Gross book ad…many, many times.

  44. DahBoner

    Another clerical error?

    Why can't those clerks in India understand the Koch brothers when they speak?

    They speak English over there, right?

    OK, cut the pay of that clerk to 10 cents a day!

    And no more rice and dahl, just gruel.

    We're trying to cut back on expenses over here….

  45. weejee

    OT

    Conservetards and Teabaggers think that entrepreneurs are just the cat's meow, amiright? If that is so the Wonketteriate might find interesting a University of Nebraska report that lists the top five states for entrepreneurs as: 1. New York; 2. Washington; 3. Massachusetts; 4. New Jersey; 5. Oregon. They also reports that the sucking the hind tit bottom 5 states are: 46. Alabama; 47. Nevada; 48. Mississippi; 49. Arizona; 50. South Carolina.

    Mmmmm, doesn't that sorta indicate that blue = entrepreneur nirvana, while red = bad for creators of jobz?

  46. MissTaken

    I'm holding my breath while I await the James O'Keefe video exposing the voting shenanigans going on at the Americans For Prosperity Wisconsin HQ.

    …still holding

      1. DashboardBuddha

        Thanks Good Doktor…I get so awash in the bullshit that I do miss the good stuff.

        1. Doktor Zoom

          Of course, when the "good news'" is that the BAD news isn't quite as horrific as it could have been (and a traumatic brain injury is almost-but-not-quite as bad as it gets), you're entirely justified in remaining bummed out. If symptoms continue, try this.

          1. DashboardBuddha

            That was fucking AWESOME! I am going to upfist every chance I get from now until the end of time.

            OT – I'll be a cat nurse this Saturday. My sweetie's kitty thought it would good idea to nap in the engine compartment of a neighbor's truck and when he started the truck the fan blade beat the living shit out of her. It was touch and go there for a bit and she still might be blind, but she's alive.

          2. Doktor Zoom

            Poor kitty! You are an awesome person for helping the poor thing.

            Hey, pets: when we say you're almost fatally stupid sometimes, we aren't asking you to prove it!

          3. DashboardBuddha

            This may be the only sticking point in an otherwise awesome relationship (and impending marriage). I am a firm believer in kittehs being kept inside, whereas she's of the indoor/outdoor school. I'm sure we'll work it out.

  47. fuflans

    listening to analysis of today's financial crisis: we shouldn't have cut so much spending so fast in a weak economy and we're mimicking what happened in the great depression and wall street (and china) know this and now we're well and truly fucked

    funny. i don't remember hearing much of this argument (except nytimes and economist) during the great teatard cattle drive of the last month

    seriously does anybody else remember a time in their lives when our political discourse has been this misguided, this pig-headed, this uninformed and this stupid?

  48. Doktor Zoom

    Seems to me that Wisconsin voters need to keep their EYES WIDE OPEN before they vote, because the election is ON SALE NOW to the highest corporate bidder.

    1. DahBoner

      "Seems to me that Wisconsin voters need to keep their EYES WIDE OPEN before they vote"

      Does this mean Nicole Kiddman will get naked and smoke a joint with Wisconsin voters?

  49. metamarcisf

    Headline of the day (Salon):

    "McCartney's ex: My Phone Was Hacked!"

    This may be the final nail in Rupert's coffin. On the other hand, his lawyers say she doesn't have a

  50. Sassomatic

    Yes, blame the typo. And the next time I run over a kid while driving drunk, blame my car.

  51. ttommyunger

    Governor Weak-Chin overheard screaming-"I have had it with these motherfucking voters in this motherfucking State!".

  52. Negropolis

    This was the same group of people who plastered false eviction notices on homes of the mostly elderly and poor in Southwest Detroit over the fight over a bridge to be built to Canada. These fuckers are absolutely shameless. I can't wait until Karl Rove or Dick Armey or whoever the fuck is in the shadows gets caught in some kind of scandal and is forced to pull back funding for this blatant, illegal deception.

  53. lulzmonger

    Just in case anyone was wondering who AFP are getting their inspiration from:

    "Those who cast the votes decide nothing. Those who count the votes decide everything."

    - Joseph Stalin

    Oh, lookee here – he also said this: "America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."

    Rove, Coulter, Limbaugh – good upstanding Stalinists, one & all.

  54. gizdal

    stalin put it nicely- it's not important who votes, but who counts the votes!
    (will Diebold be involved in this cheesy wisc. election? or some other GOP operative?

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