real fake problems

New FAA Safety Policy: Hope Airport Inspectors Don’t Mind Not Being Paid

am i going to fall apart in the air? let's hope not!In our new era of Total Government Dysfunction, Congressional leaders decided to head to recess before passing a bill to replace Benjamin Franklin on the $100 bill with a picture of Barack Obama licking Ronald Reagan’s corpse, haha passing a bill to temporarily finance the Federal Aviation Administration, the agency in charge of making sure not everyone dies every time they board an airplane. Solving a huge fake problem in Congress is the new equivalent of solving one hundred critically urgent real problems, and Congress already “did” their one for now, see everyone in September! Meanwhile, the FAA is forced to hope airport inspectors are decent enough to take their congressional demotion to unpaid intern seriously and continue to make sure there isn’t total airport security collapse across the country. 

Predictably, the partisan bickering centers partially around a $14 million subsidy for rural airports that is effectively rendered ridiculous by the $30 million loss in airline ticket taxes sustained each day of the shutdown. The other part is a fight over, what else, unions.

4,000 employees are also being furloughed, and Transportation secretary Roy LaHood had to shift gears from pleading with leaders to now just saying, “nobody panic, America’s actual professionals will not simply go home and watch the sky for little airborne fireballs to laugh at, like Congress.”

The NYT has the horrifying details:

After dealing with the debt crisis, Senate negotiators tried and failed on Tuesday to end a stalemate over temporary financing for the Federal Aviation Administration, leaving 4,000 agency employees out of work and relying on airport safety inspectors to continue working without pay.

The partial agency shutdown, which began on July 23 and is likely to continue at least through Labor Day, has also idled tens of thousands of construction workers on airport projects around the country. Dozens of airport inspectors have been asked by the F.A.A. to work without pay and to charge their government travel expenses to their personal credit cards to keep airports operating safely.

Air traffic controllers and airplane inspectors, who are paid with separate accounts, have continued to work, but workers who oversee research on aviation systems, grants for airports and facilities and operations equipment have been furloughed.

Oh well, at least it saves Ron Paul from having to vote “no” one more time. [NYT]

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  1. Barb

    They should be paying me to be able to feel my boobs. I pay myself to do it. Think of it like a "swear jar"

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      If I had boobs (the nice, female type), and I paid myself every time I felt them up, I'd be a fucking millionaire.

        1. jus_wonderin

          It might be my age, but seems all I can tune in is random static and snips of someone named Tokyo Rose.

  2. freakishlywrong

    They did, however, find the time to arrange pro-forma sessions to keep Hopey from any of those sneaky recess appointments. But, he hopes they can all work together in a bi-partisan fashion when they get back. By the way, "recess" is entirely appropriate.

    1. johnnymeatworth

      Fuckin' airplanes, how do they work?

      Funnily enough, I would almost rather have ICP in the legislative branch than the bunch of insane clowns currently residing there.

    2. baconzgood

      Why has Delta crashed a dozen planes and Quantis hasn't crashed once? You can't explain it.

    3. Maman

      Yeah but since it's MY husband that is flying around multiple times a week, they better hope that no planes go down or I will be super pissed. And they won't like me when I'm angry.

    1. jus_wonderin

      I bet the passengers had to pay extra for that view. Or, is there a fee for having an airplane land intact???

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        Well, it was up in the business class section. All kinds of neat shit up front there on the other side of the curtain.

        1. Barb

          Why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box material? I would give credit for that joke but I don't recall who said it.

          1. NorthStarSpanx

            In "So I Married An Axe Murderer" Stephen Wright plays a Piper pilot who fell asleep in a storm flying a cop out to an Island to save his friend.

            He wakes up and says, "Oh, you wouldn't believe the dream I had,"

            Anthony LaPaglia screams, "I don't care about your dream, just fly the plane!"

          2. JustPixelz

            Or make the passengers out of titanium. Michele Bachmann has a titanium spine, so how hard would it be make an entire person out of it. Obviously the titanium has some effects on IQ, eyeball control, spouse sexual orientation. But a titanium body would be cool. Literally.

        1. jus_wonderin

          Yeah, and Jesus didn't use a Boeing 787 Dreamliner as he rose to take his place beside the Father. I wonder, was he able to hold the Holy Ghost in his lap.

      1. ArmoredLibunatic

        Gravity's just a "theory" too, you mouth-breathing ignoramuses! /growlsnarlsmashkeyboard

  3. Doktor Zoom

    Since they can't end Big Gummint altogether, the Teatards are determined to shut it down one agency at a time.

    1. Barb

      Yes, soon there will be nothing but churches, scooter stores, flag shops and Big and Tall Whore Stores for them to get their plus sized fashions.

    2. GOPCrusher

      Makes sense. Shut down the agency responsible for keeping the large metal objects full of people and fuel in the air, first.
      I suppose OSHA could be next, since there is nothing about preventing death and destruction in the Constitution.

      1. mumbly_joe

        The literally most reductionist definition of "General Welfare"?

        Wait no, I forgot, the "Constitution", by which I mean the Declaration of Independence which I'm going to confuse for the Constitution, don't say nuttin' 'bout any "General Welfare".

  4. Come here a minute

    I don't know why the FAA was ever funded in the first place. It is physically impossible for a huge metal tube to stay up in the air.

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      Since Teatards typically don't make up the elite plane flying demographic, this doesn't hurt them a bit. Shut down Greyhound, that's another matter entirely.

    1. freakishlywrong

      See if you can thumb a ride on one of those fancy private jets. You're paying the tax subsidy for it, why not?

    2. natoslug

      I have to fly into Westchester, the flight originating from one of those rural airports that are underfunded and underinspected, but fortunately not for another few weeks. By then they'll have abandoned all pretense of safety and just issue us death certificates in place of boarding passes.

      1. proudgrampa

        "By then they'll have abandoned all pretense of safety and just issue us death certificates in place of boarding passes. "

        You just made me spray my martini. Time for yet ANOTHER new keyboard!!!

        Thanks for Best Laugh of the Day!

    3. fuflans

      i have to fly to canada where my socialist boyfriend will forced to spend the weekend arguing with my teatard-leaning uncle.

      fortunately i will be attending a production of 'titus andronicus' where the body count will likely be lower.

        1. fuflans

          nah. he's from PA. full on teatard state i imagine…

          my mom is the canadian and insists on family gatherings there.

  5. BaldarTFlagass

    The truly amazing thing was that even that witch Kay Bailey Hutchinson came out on the Senate floors and said what a bunch of turds the members of her party were being on this.

  6. Goonemeritus

    We should just rely on private industry after all I’m sure they wouldn’t cut any corners.

    1. genxr

      Of course they won't cut any corners. Their primary motive is profit, which causes them to do things much more efficiently.

      1. GOPCrusher

        If one airline or airport has an excessive amount of accidents, the invisible hand of the free market will dictate that consumers go elsewhere.

  7. franco_pinyon

    Budget-cutting run amok! In a battle over a $14 Million line item, we will now shoot ourselves in the foot 30 Million times-a-day until early September.

    Well, the Greeks no longer look like the biggest bunch of goofs when it comes to managing a national economy.

  8. Doktor Zoom

    I hope that, even if they aren't being paid, those inspectors are keeping their EYES WIDE OPEN for problems.

    (OK, do I get my $5 now?)

    1. GhostBuggy

      Doktor, that comment was so witty, it could have been written by the talented John Lutz, author of "Serial," out now.

      1. Atlas Frooged

        Although if suspense is your thing, check out EYES WIDE OPEN, by Andrew Gross. Out now in hardback and for download! I hear it's a WILD RIDE…something, something…NOT TO BE MISSED.

    2. SorosBot

      Well it's better than keeping their eyes wide shut; talk about disappointing, nothing but Tom Cruise wandering around and staring at naked people fucking in the most unarousing and lifeless manner possible.

      1. Swampgas_Man

        "fucking in the most unarousing and lifeless manner possible" — Yep, sounds like Tom Cruise awright.

  9. DaRooster

    "Dozens of airport inspectors have been asked by the F.A.A. to work without pay and to charge their government travel expenses to their personal credit cards to keep airports operating safely."

    Umm… yeah… this'll work.

      1. NorthStarSpanx

        Considering the teatard meme that credit card debt and living beyond your means is considered a sin, these employees are screwed either way.

    1. Steverino247

      It will work for a limited time. First, most of them wouldn't know what to do with themselves so they'll go to work and do things as normal. Second, they will start to drift away dependent on their own credit limits, how much their significant others start to bitch at them and how the bills start to pile up vs. their savings. Third, they will make a point of saying they're stopping so others can decide if they want to still fly or not based on that information. What they SHOULD do is declare any aircraft with a member of Congress aboard as being unsafe and then walk over to the flight the asshole gets bumped to and repeat as necessary.

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        "declare any aircraft with a member of Congress aboard as being unsafe"

        In the long run, doing the opposite might have more of a beneficial effect.

    2. JustPixelz

      Repubicans must be cumming in their Dockers with the minimum wage down to $0/hour. But those workers should be happy that they won't have to pay any income tax.

    3. JohnyEdge

      This is great! Once the concept is proved out, then we can ask the troops to pay their own way to Afghanistan, buy there own meals, rifles and ammunition and fight wars for free!

      Personally, I'm going to start right away on my own freeway. You can charge concrete on Amex, right?

      1. mooncrushworld

        Hell, already families at home chip in to buy ceramic armor for the grunts that the gubmit is too cheap to buy. Cuz GED cannon fodder is cheap to come by and Bush didn't care who he sent to die for jingoism. Obama doesn't much either.

        Betcha if you advertised it to the Teabagz as a "Ayrab Huntin Safari fer Jesus" they'd pony up a few grand, paint their scooters all camo, and go all prepared to kill browns for trophy skulls.

  10. Lucidamente1

    Ronnie firing those controllers in 1981 was like that guy who long-jumped 29 feet in the '68 Olympics: Republicans have been trying to break the record ever since.

    1. DoktorThompson

      Watch yourself. Comparing Reagan to a black guy may get you the sharp end of some Tea Partier's pitchfork.

  11. BaldarTFlagass

    If there's a plane crash next Monday San Antonio-DFW-Dayton or reverse route on Wednesday, or SAT-DFW-Indianapolis-DFW-SAT the following Tuesday/Thursday, and I don't come back here and post, please blame the republicans for my death.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        I spent 10 years doing work for the USAF overseas, flying into and out of Paris and London and Milan and Frankfurt and Venice and Istanbul and Dubai etc etc etc. Took a new position and my destinations now include Dayton and St Louis every quarter, plus the occasional trip to Kokomo and DC. Certainly quite a comedown, Sad Wings of Destiny indeed.
        Silver lining, though, at least for next week, I'm gonna attend a Bela Fleck & the Flecktones concert in Columbus. Howard Levy is back!

          1. BerkeleyBear

            Yeah, unfortunately Baldar is going to one (Kokomo) the very next week. It's a hole that used to be a major GM town but a shell of its old self.

            Enjoy the crappy ride up the state roads, Baldar.

          2. BaldarTFlagass

            Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump.

            For 60 miles up US 31. Yeesh.

          3. BerkeleyBear

            Shortly after moving to Bloomington, my wife wanted to meet with her relatives in Grand Haven (western)Michigan halfway between the two. Looked at a map and picked South Bend, because exactly half way was a field in Amish country. We wind up on 31 the whole way, they get to take interstates – it took nearly 3 times as long, and going through Kokomo and South Bend made me actually appreciate Indianapolis.

            I've got a lot of reasons to hate Notre Dame, but that trip was the cherry on the shit sundae.

    1. jus_wonderin

      I am going to check the CraigsList Missed Connections page on Thursday.

      "Me: 5A. You: 4E. We made eye contact. Tell me what you were screaming as the wing fell off? Let's meet for coffee."

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        All my colleagues in Cubeville are looking at me wondering why the hell I'm cracking up here. Excellent!

    2. TxSpinyLizrd

      Dogamighty BTF, we need to have us a convention of frequent-flying central TX Wonketeers. How many people could that possibly be?

  12. Schmannnity

    Why not let the invisible hand of the market determine air safety instead of this government handout? Then, to encourage innovation, we should restrict frivolous lawsuits against airlines when "market forces" cause a plane to slam into the ground.

    1. fuflans

      at my old marketing firm, we used to explain a modelling tool by saying you could never include 'airline safety' as a differentiator for customer choice. it was too important, too consistent and too regulated.

      but that was in the age of sanity.

  13. Texan_Bulldog

    It's all fun and games to the Tea Baggers until a plane goes down. I mean Capt. Sully can't pilot ALL of them!

      1. OneDollarJuana

        I'm sooo glad Jesus isn't my copilot. Jeez, he'd catch those damn robes on the controls, always be brushing that long hair out of his eyes, smell like fish, and if the plane starts going down, he'd say "Too bad for you, sucka! I'm gonna be back in the air in three days, tops!"

        1. SorosBot

          Not to mention that he'd be all, "what monstrosity is this giant metal machine? Do you really expect me to believe man can fly? What's an engine and fuel?"

  14. Monsieur_Grumpe

    This is causing a 30 million a day tax revenue loss over a 12 million dollar subsidy.

    We need to dissect some of these teabagger brains and see what the hell is going on in there. I’m guessing a vitamin deficiency or a do it yourself lobotomy that went wrong.

    1. DoktorThompson

      We need to dissect some of these teabagger brains and see what the hell is going on in there.

      Perhaps the hamster fell off the wheel.

    2. genxr

      These are people who diet by eating a piece of celery — and then reward themselves with a big mac.

    3. BerkeleyBear

      Unfortunately, this lunacy predates the TP. Apparently Coburn has a burr up his ass about eliminating subsidies in a 90 mile radius of "major" airports, which may work in Oklahoma but makes no sense in places that get snow and aren't flat as a pancake.

      Plus the union busting, which is actually not even in this legislation. So this is classic GOP stupid/venal tactics, not the new psycho.

  15. Ducksworthy

    I hope Jim Imhofe is visiting Tulsa today, where its 110 in the shade, so he can esplain the global warming hoax and cool of his ignorant supporters there with his flapping lips.

  16. NorthStarSpanx

    The second a lawmaker agrees to give up their health care, their SS, M&M, their credit cards, mortgage, farm subsidy or a few months of pay for the fiscal health of the country, is the day this arrangement is even acceptable.

  17. mavenmaven

    Its all a plot to encourage al qaeda terrorists to strike so that they can blame Obama for the attack.

  18. x111e7thst

    Not only should the lazy union scum be obliged to work without pay they should be beaten and yelled at while they are doing so.

      1. GOPCrusher

        LOL! It would be worth the pain of the last few weeks to see President Obama get on TV and tell the American public that now that the debt ceiling issue has been resolved, he is calling on the Republiklan members of the House to get down to passing a job creation bill, like they promised to do before the 2010 elections.

  19. hagajim

    Maybe li'l Barry ought to stop paying these fuckers until they can take their jobs seriously….oh wait, I forgot, li'l Barry has no balls.

  20. SayItWithWookies

    Boehner's House managed to kill 75,000 jobs, make air travel dangerous and be criminally negligent all in one fell inaction. It's a teabagger hat trick. What the fuck is wrong with these people?

      1. SayItWithWookies

        Wow, thanks for that. And just so we're warned:

        In roleplaying situations, authoritarians tend to seek dominance over others by being competitive and destructive instead of cooperative. In a study by Altemeyer, 68 authoritarians played a three hour simulation of the Earth's future entitled the Global change game. Unlike a comparison game played by individuals with low RWA [right-wing authoritarianism] scores, which resulted in world peace and widespread international cooperation, the simulation by authoritarians became highly militarized and eventually entered the stage of nuclear war. By the end of the high RWA game, the entire population of the earth was declared dead.

    1. freakishlywrong

      They're sociopaths. Sociopaths that are utterly unaccountable in our media. They do this shit and get away with it because the "news" tells everyone that "Congress" didn't pass the bill. Never mentions who or why, just generic "Government is bad shit. Y'know, both sides..

      1. freakishlywrong

        She rawked last night. I love the way she played the clip of that smug asshole twice, just to drive home the point that when the economy is gone forever, Boner got 98% of what he wanted, and that he's happy.

      2. GOPCrusher

        That's great, but until it shows up on the ABC, CBS, NBC news broadcasts, most people will never know the truth.

    2. Atlas Frooged

      And the blame will be laid at BO's feet and he'll accept it. Because Boehner threatened to sit on him and have McConnell shove leaves down his shirt until he agreed.

  21. powersuit

    All of this to prove a goddam point about goddam unions for airline and railroad workers. The whole country gets to pay the price for their antiunion freakout. What a bunch of lousy cowards. The war on the public continues!

    1. mog253

      The weird part is the 'baggers in this area are mostly retired union employees or current union employees (teachers if you can believe that). My head may explode.

  22. Terry

    Inspectors are working without pay and charging their travel to their own credit cards.

    Yeah, tell me again how bad Federal employees are.

  23. ManchuCandidate

    I picked a bad week to quit drinking…

    "There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane/run a gubbiment/ understand public satety/ economics? "

    1. natoslug

      It was also a lousy week to quit sniffing glue. Although glue sniffing and paint huffing might explain the mentality of the teabaggers.

      1. OneDollarJuana

        It's a good week to start drinking. Vacation starts on Friday! Thank Dog that they raised the debt limit. I was afraid our campground (Nat'l Forest) would be closed.

  24. BlueStateLibel

    Not to worry, after a few planes crash, consumers (the not-dead ones) will figure out which airlines and airports are the safest. This is exactly how the free market is supposed to work, stop being such commies!

  25. smitallica

    If the Democrats knew how to play hardball, they would say, loudly and repeatedly, that our troops coming home from being in harm's way overseas fly through commercial hubs, on commercial planes, and the Republicans are literally endangering our sacred, heroic troops.
    But alas, the Democrats have proven that they know fuck-all about playing hardball.

    1. prommie

      And there are fetuses inside the pregnant women on the planes! The GOP are nothing but a bunch of abortionists, is what they are. Genocidal Terrorists!

      1. SorosBot

        Or prevent that weird creature from destroying the wing, the one that William Shatner and John Lithgow saw?

      2. jus_wonderin

        Slight Curve: I gotta say, an NPR Vigilante Talk Show Host would be an excellent addition to Congress…right about now.

  26. baconzgood

    Big deal so a few planes crash into buildings and a field in the middle of nowhere PA….oh no that was a pretty big fucking deal when it happened.

    1. GunToting[Redacted]

      True, but those were Muslin and Brown terrorists. These terrorists are right-wing White dudes, which cannot BE terrorists, so Q.E.D., Muslim and Brown…?

      Fuck, I can't remember where I was going with this…

  27. donner_froh

    "charge their government travel expenses to their personal credit cards to keep airports operating safely."

    I don't know how it is now but 20 years ago a senior inspector was on the road from Monday thru Thursday or Friday for about 30 weeks a year. That's a whole lot of flights and hotel rooms to charge in the hope that they will get their money back especially while not getting paid.

  28. metamarcisf

    In an interview with NPR yesterday, Harry Reid placed the blame for the fiasco solely on Delta Airlines' intransigence with unions.

    1. jus_wonderin


      Wait, is it coming toward me, or falling away? Damn physics!!

      1. widestanceroman

        I proofed the comment twice before submitting, too, since that typo would have altered my intention considerably.

      1. baconzgood

        I'm getting one of those in the fall. I can't wait (rubbing hands together) MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

        1. freakishlywrong

          You're getting a summer intern in the Fall? You be nice to your intern, Baconz. Or else, they'll be posting on the Wonkett about what a big tool you are. Like you did.

          1. baconzgood

            I'm not a tool. I'm going to teach him/her how to look like your working all the while plotting some nefarious scheme to get Dept. Dir. Dale canned in the next 18 months.

          2. freakishlywrong

            I thought you got him canned already? What I meant, Baconz, is that you were always posting on the Wonkett about what a tool Dale is. Now, you'll have an intern, see?

          3. baconzgood

            No Not fired…YET. He tangled with me over some office policies he implemented and I won. 'Cause you don't fuck with the Baconz when it comes to my buisness time. I remember my internship. And Larry taught me everything I know about slackin' . He made George Constanze from Sienfeld look like John Henry.

  29. YasserArraFeck

    My mother would always say " It's all very funny until someone gets hurt", but she was talking to a bunch of mewling children, not the US Congress…..oh, wait…..

    1. JustPixelz

      Bible Physics! The sun stops in the sky, the oil burns for 8 days, water into wine. The biggest miracle is turning parables into public policy. God is amazing.

      1. jus_wonderin

        Don't forget the fishes. Those fishes aren't going to piece themselves out to the multitudes all by themselves.

  30. Papa_Uniform

    No worries! It's just the facilities inspectors who are being asked to work without pay and pay for their own transportation to airports to do their jobs. You know, the guys who inspect navigation radios and landing systems. Take-offs won't be affected, just landings. There. Feel better?

      1. jus_wonderin

        "Please make sure you close the overhead bin. As you take your seat, just go ahead and put your head between your legs. Hey you, 13A, I meant your own legs!"

  31. widestanceroman

    Founding Fathers Faith-Based Flight expects no disruptions in service during this time.*

    *All trips must be paid in cash prior to boarding.

      1. bagofmice

        Well, there's nigh invulnerability, and then there's the effects of nigh-invulnerability on decision making…

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      I'm good with this, but I am drawing the line on serving coffee to that whiny fuck back in 18E.

  32. NowTheyTellMe

    "In related news, several other government agencies have also been de-funded using similar methods. Included are the ICE, the United States Treasury, and the Coast Guard. At press time, it was rumored that an armada of 10 million Cubans was headed toward Miami, clutching what appear to be handfuls of cash bearing the image of Walt Disney."

  33. mormos

    can someone tell me the last time congress did something meaningful? I might be too young to remember.

    1. freakishlywrong

      YET? I wonder when the adoration of the media will ever wane however? When they have one of their hate rallies, it's usually 4-1/ media to teatard.

  34. mavenmaven

    Fortunately, the GOP bigwigs all have private jets without taxation, so they're ok, and thats what matters so they can provide more jobs!!!

  35. prommie

    The tea-partiers cause, and their identity, as recently pointed out by Michael Lind, is the confederacy, and this is just more of the same. If you read all the confederate states' declarations of secession, after slavery, their second major issue, was "aids to navigation." In that day it meant buoys and lighthouses, but today, it is of course air traffic control. plus ca change . . .

  36. Callyson

    Don't members of Congress fly? Because if I were an airport inspector, I'd be sure to give them a very slow secondary search…see how they feel after missing a plane or ten…

  37. MissTaken

    I'm so glad I'm leaving the US for the magical land of Canadia this weekend so I can avoid this bullshit for a week.

    AH crap, I'm flying there. Anyone know if Amtrak goes from SF to Nova Scotia?

    1. Negropolis

      They shut that off after 9/11, well, at least in the border in Detroit. Now, you have to get off at Detroit's station, catch the Tunnel Bus to Windsor, and hope to get a ticket on VIA rail.

  38. metamarcisf

    Is it just me or is the excitement over Rick's Perry Saturday afternoon prayer-fest / goat fuck becoming too overwhelming to get any work done at all, I must say?

  39. mumbly_joe

    Wow, so you reward terroristy terrorists for their terrorist hostage-taking, and they basically decide to do it over and over again since they get so much out of it? WHO WOULD HAVE FUCKING SUSPECTED.

  40. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Just remember the next time Republicans complain about government workers these poor slobs keeping the planes safe for no pay because the GOP would rather crush government than govern.

  41. orygoon

    While this does not exactly explain to me why we cannot have nice trains, like the Europeans do, I think it is somehow related.

  42. bravo_sierra

    $700 of a $1800 ticket I had to buy recently was "taxes." If the FCC can no longer collect taxes from airlines, why haven't ticket prices plunged considerably?

    1. freakishlywrong

      They're pocketing it. More Corporate welfare. But, at least it'll be more difficult to form a thuggish union.

  43. ProudLibunatic

    I'd happily trade the TSA and their stupid "security theater" for the inspectors.
    (Their ridiculous "official-like" uniform patches alone could fund the inspector's salaries.)

  44. MissTaken

    Sweet! If the FAA is no longer in charge of regulating air travel does that mean we can start masturbating on planes again?

  45. Chet Kincaid

    OT, but the stink-eye of Ken Layne's evil cat-Pope has appeared unto my IntenseDebate account again as the last visitor. God that's freaky, like he's doing the two-finger-my-eyes-to-yours thing in front of his webcam. Is he angry that I keep accusing him of being Wonkette Jr.?

  46. peaceshelly

    I bet when the Senators and Congressmen can't get to their mistresses and hookers they will be more than happy to send some cash to the FAA.

  47. peaceshelly

    Guy enters airport security carrying C4 and box cutters.
    Inspector says,
    Fuck it. I ain't even getting paid for this shit.

  48. Beowoof

    I know I always trust the free market to do the safe thing. Now give me my tainted turkey, peanut butter and spinach sandwich on plate painted with lead paint.

  49. owhatever

    Max out my personal credit card to keep air travel safe while the Senators goes home on vacation. Okay. Sounds reasonable. Those AMEX debt chasers will understand if I'm late with the September payment of $432,098,37.

  50. Doktor Zoom

    Meh. Not that it will accomplish anything, but it felt good to type:

    (To: Rep. Mike Simpson, R-ID)

    Dear Representative Simpson,

    I am writing to urge you and the other members of the House to reconvene as soon as humanly possible to re-authorize the Federal Aviation Administration. At a time when the country is suffering from unemployment, it is absurd to furlough 4,000 workers at the FAA and another 70,000 construction workers at airport projects nationwide. Furthermore, Republicans' stated concern about the budget deficit (and the cost of subsidies for rural air service) rings rather hollow when the cost of the partial shutdown is costing the government $30 million a day in uncollected taxes. It's a nice gift to the airlines, I suppose, but it does nothing to inspire confidence in our legislative process. And in the meantime, airport projects sit idle and safety inspectors are being asked to go without pay.

    Please, Mr. Simpson, go back to Washington and do your job. After the manufactured debt ceiling "crisis," Americans are getting tired of the political games being played by Congress.

  51. mooncrushworld

    I bet even though we can't pay for plane security, if some group takes advantage of that laxity to pull another goddamn 9-11 we sure magically will find the money for another fuckin war.

  52. Guppy06

    "relying on airport safety inspectors to continue working without pay"

    They would, but the manager at the McDonald's they have to work at to pay the rent gets real pissed off when they show up late for the lunch rush.

  53. VaWyo

    I'm sure the inspectors are very serious about making sure the planes are safe. But they have been furloughed. That means they are not working. And why would anyone spend his/her own money to do the job they have been furloughed from when their income has stopped and they need their money just to support themselves? It's crazy and I would questions the sanity of anyone who would do it.

  54. Negropolis

    Yes, yes, our descent into Idiocracy is nearly complete…

    America: Shutting down, one department at a time, since 1981.

  55. outragedcitizen

    I can just see those teabagging assholes getting on a jet at National Airport, ( I refuse to call it Ronald Reagan Airport), and suddenly realizing that they just might have fucked up this time.

  56. genxr

    Crowdsourcing air traffic control! I think you've hit on something there. We'll have this budget balanced in no time.

  57. Swampgas_Man

    On your next flight, be sure and shout out lots of suggestions and information to your server! They LOVE the help!

  58. genxr

    Roger flight one niner… last message was unclear… please adjust heading to avoid collision…

  59. VaWyo

    It's the National Mediation Board (NMB), not the NLRB.

    My union did a study about this last year and NOT ONE single newly elected member of congress would have been elected using the standard they want for unions in the airline and railroad industry. It's bull shit. And it is all because of Delta and their flight attendants.

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