REAL FAKE PROBLEMS  10:44 am August 3, 2011

New FAA Safety Policy: Hope Airport Inspectors Don’t Mind Not Being Paid

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

am i going to fall apart in the air? let's hope not!In our new era of Total Government Dysfunction, Congressional leaders decided to head to recess before passing a bill to replace Benjamin Franklin on the $100 bill with a picture of Barack Obama licking Ronald Reagan’s corpse, haha passing a bill to temporarily finance the Federal Aviation Administration, the agency in charge of making sure not everyone dies every time they board an airplane. Solving a huge fake problem in Congress is the new equivalent of solving one hundred critically urgent real problems, and Congress already “did” their one for now, see everyone in September! Meanwhile, the FAA is forced to hope airport inspectors are decent enough to take their congressional demotion to unpaid intern seriously and continue to make sure there isn’t total airport security collapse across the country. 

Predictably, the partisan bickering centers partially around a $14 million subsidy for rural airports that is effectively rendered ridiculous by the $30 million loss in airline ticket taxes sustained each day of the shutdown. The other part is a fight over, what else, unions.

4,000 employees are also being furloughed, and Transportation secretary Roy LaHood had to shift gears from pleading with leaders to now just saying, “nobody panic, America’s actual professionals will not simply go home and watch the sky for little airborne fireballs to laugh at, like Congress.”

The NYT has the horrifying details:

After dealing with the debt crisis, Senate negotiators tried and failed on Tuesday to end a stalemate over temporary financing for the Federal Aviation Administration, leaving 4,000 agency employees out of work and relying on airport safety inspectors to continue working without pay.

The partial agency shutdown, which began on July 23 and is likely to continue at least through Labor Day, has also idled tens of thousands of construction workers on airport projects around the country. Dozens of airport inspectors have been asked by the F.A.A. to work without pay and to charge their government travel expenses to their personal credit cards to keep airports operating safely.

Air traffic controllers and airplane inspectors, who are paid with separate accounts, have continued to work, but workers who oversee research on aviation systems, grants for airports and facilities and operations equipment have been furloughed.

Oh well, at least it saves Ron Paul from having to vote “no” one more time. [NYT]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 299 comments }

GunToting[Redacted] August 3, 2011 at 10:45 am

How does this impact blimp inspectors?

Smitros August 3, 2011 at 11:12 am

In a major way.

Atlas Frooged August 3, 2011 at 11:20 am

I've been a card carrying Bikini Inspector for years and haven't seen a dime.

YasserArraFeck August 3, 2011 at 11:23 am

There has to be a Chris Christie joke in here somewhere ….

Mahousu August 3, 2011 at 11:41 am

You couldn't pay me enough to inspect Chris Christie?

YasserArraFeck August 3, 2011 at 11:56 am

Maybe inspect the chopper that probably suffered serious damage lifting the fat fucker

DoktorThompson August 3, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Google it.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 3, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Once you go Galt, you never go back. Mostly because the blimp blows up.

Barb August 3, 2011 at 10:46 am

They should be paying me to be able to feel my boobs. I pay myself to do it. Think of it like a "swear jar"

jus_wonderin August 3, 2011 at 10:51 am

Barb, I have free time on my hands.

BaldarTFlagass August 3, 2011 at 10:53 am

If I had boobs (the nice, female type), and I paid myself every time I felt them up, I'd be a fucking millionaire.

Barb August 3, 2011 at 10:55 am

Baldar, why do men have nipples?

DaRooster August 3, 2011 at 10:57 am

'Cuz if we had boobs… that's where they would be?

BaldarTFlagass August 3, 2011 at 11:00 am

To remind us of all the fun we're missing out on.

OneDollarJuana August 3, 2011 at 11:08 am

If you have moobs, it makes them ever sexier.

HipHop0Potamus August 3, 2011 at 11:53 am
HuddledMass August 3, 2011 at 12:22 pm

They're decoys, of course. To attract other nipples…

Monsieur_Grumpe August 3, 2011 at 10:55 am

It's more fun if you honking sounds while squeexing.

Barb August 3, 2011 at 10:58 am

Or twist them and say, "tune in Tokyo"

jus_wonderin August 3, 2011 at 11:16 am

It might be my age, but seems all I can tune in is random static and snips of someone named Tokyo Rose.

genxr August 3, 2011 at 11:35 am

I'll be right back, I just need to find an ATM.

BTWBFDIMHO August 3, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Why roosters have no hands? Because hens have no boobs.

Toomush_Infer August 3, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Barb, you can pay me to do that for you…I'm cheap…

Guppy06 August 3, 2011 at 4:44 pm

That "grope jar" must have enough to pay off the national debt by now.

freakishlywrong August 3, 2011 at 10:49 am

They did, however, find the time to arrange pro-forma sessions to keep Hopey from any of those sneaky recess appointments. But, he hopes they can all work together in a bi-partisan fashion when they get back. By the way, "recess" is entirely appropriate.

jus_wonderin August 3, 2011 at 10:54 am

Naptime would help.

Swampgas_Man August 3, 2011 at 1:56 pm

I resent the constant comparing of Rethug congress to children. Children grow up.

FNMA August 3, 2011 at 10:49 am

Planes go up. Planes go down. Nobody knows why.

weejee August 3, 2011 at 10:54 am

Isn't it because of the lifts O'Reilly and Hannity put in their shoes?

johnnymeatworth August 3, 2011 at 11:36 am

Fuckin' airplanes, how do they work?

Funnily enough, I would almost rather have ICP in the legislative branch than the bunch of insane clowns currently residing there.

Negropolis August 4, 2011 at 1:13 am

Well, Juggalos are a lot like the tea partiers.

baconzgood August 3, 2011 at 11:39 am

Why has Delta crashed a dozen planes and Quantis hasn't crashed once? You can't explain it.

Maman August 3, 2011 at 12:40 pm

Yeah but since it's MY husband that is flying around multiple times a week, they better hope that no planes go down or I will be super pissed. And they won't like me when I'm angry.

Dashboard_Jesus August 4, 2011 at 1:18 am

one more reason why I've never taken a job that requires lots of flyin'

weejee August 3, 2011 at 10:51 am

They only look after boring engineerly things like fatigue cracking in the body and wings. Nothing to get worried about, move along.

jus_wonderin August 3, 2011 at 10:53 am

I bet the passengers had to pay extra for that view. Or, is there a fee for having an airplane land intact???

BaldarTFlagass August 3, 2011 at 11:02 am

Well, it was up in the business class section. All kinds of neat shit up front there on the other side of the curtain.

V572 Hair of Destiny August 3, 2011 at 10:55 am

Oh you corrosophiles and your horror stories of so-called metal fatigue. It's just a theory, like evolution.

weejee August 3, 2011 at 10:57 am

You just crack me up!

jus_wonderin August 3, 2011 at 10:57 am

I LOVE that plane. Well, the design of it, not the crashy thing.

Barb August 3, 2011 at 11:00 am

Why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box material? I would give credit for that joke but I don't recall who said it.

jus_wonderin August 3, 2011 at 11:04 am

Stephen Wright? Hey, was he a Wright Brother? Talk about a prescient outlook.

SorosBot August 3, 2011 at 11:20 am

I think that was Seinfeld.

Steverino247 August 3, 2011 at 11:26 am

It's a George Carlin routine.

And we love your boobs, too, Barb.

JustPixelz August 3, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Or make the passengers out of titanium. Michele Bachmann has a titanium spine, so how hard would it be make an entire person out of it. Obviously the titanium has some effects on IQ, eyeball control, spouse sexual orientation. But a titanium body would be cool. Literally.

OneDollarJuana August 3, 2011 at 11:10 am

Metal fatigue is not in the Bible! Metal fatigue doesn't exist! Heathen!

jus_wonderin August 3, 2011 at 11:22 am

Yeah, and Jesus didn't use a Boeing 787 Dreamliner as he rose to take his place beside the Father. I wonder, was he able to hold the Holy Ghost in his lap.

weejee August 3, 2011 at 11:25 am

Kinda like Ronnie with the Holy Glasnost in his lap?

JustPixelz August 3, 2011 at 12:23 pm

I have mental fatigue from the TP'ers. Is that in the Bible or am I a hypochondriac?

ArmoredLibunatic August 3, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Gravity's just a "theory" too, you mouth-breathing ignoramuses! /growlsnarlsmashkeyboard

Doktor Zoom August 3, 2011 at 10:53 am

Since they can't end Big Gummint altogether, the Teatards are determined to shut it down one agency at a time.

Barb August 3, 2011 at 10:57 am

Yes, soon there will be nothing but churches, scooter stores, flag shops and Big and Tall Whore Stores for them to get their plus sized fashions.

GOPCrusher August 3, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Makes sense. Shut down the agency responsible for keeping the large metal objects full of people and fuel in the air, first.
I suppose OSHA could be next, since there is nothing about preventing death and destruction in the Constitution.

mumbly_joe August 3, 2011 at 2:25 pm

The literally most reductionist definition of "General Welfare"?

Wait no, I forgot, the "Constitution", by which I mean the Declaration of Independence which I'm going to confuse for the Constitution, don't say nuttin' 'bout any "General Welfare".

freakishlywrong August 3, 2011 at 10:53 am

Teapublicants. Jerb killing assholes.

weejee August 3, 2011 at 10:58 am

Well maybe not. There may be an uptick in the demand for mortuary assistants and clean-up crews.

Come here a minute August 3, 2011 at 10:53 am

I don't know why the FAA was ever funded in the first place. It is physically impossible for a huge metal tube to stay up in the air.

NorthStarSpanx August 3, 2011 at 11:29 am

Since Teatards typically don't make up the elite plane flying demographic, this doesn't hurt them a bit. Shut down Greyhound, that's another matter entirely.

JustPixelz August 3, 2011 at 11:51 am

Especially with a morbidly obese American ass is every tiny, tiny seat.

Limeylizzie August 3, 2011 at 10:53 am

Lovely, I have to fly back to NYC on Saturday.

DaRooster August 3, 2011 at 11:09 am

I'll bet they haven't downgraded the "security" part of airports.

OneDollarJuana August 3, 2011 at 11:17 am

How can you downgrade something that's already at the bottom of the barrel?

freakishlywrong August 3, 2011 at 11:09 am

See if you can thumb a ride on one of those fancy private jets. You're paying the tax subsidy for it, why not?

Boredw/Gravitas August 3, 2011 at 11:18 am

Maybe you should hitchhike. It sounds much safer.

natoslug August 3, 2011 at 12:19 pm

I have to fly into Westchester, the flight originating from one of those rural airports that are underfunded and underinspected, but fortunately not for another few weeks. By then they'll have abandoned all pretense of safety and just issue us death certificates in place of boarding passes.

proudgrampa August 3, 2011 at 2:40 pm

"By then they'll have abandoned all pretense of safety and just issue us death certificates in place of boarding passes. "

You just made me spray my martini. Time for yet ANOTHER new keyboard!!!

Thanks for Best Laugh of the Day!

fuflans August 3, 2011 at 12:32 pm

i have to fly to canada where my socialist boyfriend will forced to spend the weekend arguing with my teatard-leaning uncle.

fortunately i will be attending a production of 'titus andronicus' where the body count will likely be lower.

freakishlywrong August 3, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Teatards. In Canada? They can't be as bad as our teaards.

fuflans August 3, 2011 at 12:50 pm

nah. he's from PA. full on teatard state i imagine…

my mom is the canadian and insists on family gatherings there.

BaldarTFlagass August 3, 2011 at 10:53 am

The truly amazing thing was that even that witch Kay Bailey Hutchinson came out on the Senate floors and said what a bunch of turds the members of her party were being on this.

Chet Kincaid August 3, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Does she append "Shug!" on the end of every sentence? Because I am certain that "King Of The Hill" was a documentary.

fuflans August 3, 2011 at 12:57 pm

did she really? what? where?

DaRooster August 3, 2011 at 10:54 am

Furloughed- the nice,"Fuck you and get the fuck out of here!"

FlyOverGirl August 3, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Good luck finding another job in this economy, bitches.

fuflans August 3, 2011 at 12:57 pm

this should go well.

Goonemeritus August 3, 2011 at 10:55 am

We should just rely on private industry after all I’m sure they wouldn’t cut any corners.

genxr August 3, 2011 at 11:37 am

Of course they won't cut any corners. Their primary motive is profit, which causes them to do things much more efficiently.

GOPCrusher August 3, 2011 at 2:16 pm

If one airline or airport has an excessive amount of accidents, the invisible hand of the free market will dictate that consumers go elsewhere.

franco_pinyon August 3, 2011 at 10:55 am

Budget-cutting run amok! In a battle over a $14 Million line item, we will now shoot ourselves in the foot 30 Million times-a-day until early September.

Well, the Greeks no longer look like the biggest bunch of goofs when it comes to managing a national economy.

jus_wonderin August 3, 2011 at 10:59 am

There are probably other Greek analogies that fit ass well.

franco_pinyon August 4, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Typo, or Fruedian slip, jus_wonderin'?

OneDollarJuana August 3, 2011 at 11:42 am

And they eat better food.

Doktor Zoom August 3, 2011 at 10:55 am

I hope that, even if they aren't being paid, those inspectors are keeping their EYES WIDE OPEN for problems.

(OK, do I get my $5 now?)

jus_wonderin August 3, 2011 at 11:00 am

Kourtney says "Mhuyesfmhm".

not that Dewey August 3, 2011 at 11:12 am

FAA Safety Inspectors, their eyes uncovered.

GhostBuggy August 3, 2011 at 11:23 am

Doktor, that comment was so witty, it could have been written by the talented John Lutz, author of "Serial," out now.

Doktor Zoom August 3, 2011 at 11:25 am

I'm looking forward to the thrilling sequel, "Parallel."

Atlas Frooged August 3, 2011 at 11:26 am

Although if suspense is your thing, check out EYES WIDE OPEN, by Andrew Gross. Out now in hardback and for download! I hear it's a WILD RIDE…something, something…NOT TO BE MISSED.

SorosBot August 3, 2011 at 11:40 am

Can it be the beach … without a great beach read?

SorosBot August 3, 2011 at 11:43 am

Well it's better than keeping their eyes wide shut; talk about disappointing, nothing but Tom Cruise wandering around and staring at naked people fucking in the most unarousing and lifeless manner possible.

Swampgas_Man August 3, 2011 at 2:10 pm

"fucking in the most unarousing and lifeless manner possible" — Yep, sounds like Tom Cruise awright.

GOPCrusher August 3, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Katie Holmes approves of this message.

DoktorThompson August 3, 2011 at 11:56 am

I'm upfisting this so that it becomes the Summer's Best Reviewed Comment.

ProudLibunatic August 3, 2011 at 12:46 pm

I know I can't be the only one feeling "penned in" by the EYES WIDE OPEN ad thing. There's no elbow room on my beloved Wonkette today!
*sigh*

slithytoves August 3, 2011 at 10:56 am

Does a parachute count as a carry on if I'm wearing it?

DaRooster August 3, 2011 at 10:56 am

"Dozens of airport inspectors have been asked by the F.A.A. to work without pay and to charge their government travel expenses to their personal credit cards to keep airports operating safely."

Umm… yeah… this'll work.

GunToting[Redacted] August 3, 2011 at 10:59 am

Raise your own debt limit!!11!1!!!!

NorthStarSpanx August 3, 2011 at 11:19 am

Considering the teatard meme that credit card debt and living beyond your means is considered a sin, these employees are screwed either way.

GOPCrusher August 3, 2011 at 2:19 pm

They just need to cancel their country club membership.

Steverino247 August 3, 2011 at 11:30 am

It will work for a limited time. First, most of them wouldn't know what to do with themselves so they'll go to work and do things as normal. Second, they will start to drift away dependent on their own credit limits, how much their significant others start to bitch at them and how the bills start to pile up vs. their savings. Third, they will make a point of saying they're stopping so others can decide if they want to still fly or not based on that information. What they SHOULD do is declare any aircraft with a member of Congress aboard as being unsafe and then walk over to the flight the asshole gets bumped to and repeat as necessary.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 3, 2011 at 12:04 pm

"declare any aircraft with a member of Congress aboard as being unsafe"

In the long run, doing the opposite might have more of a beneficial effect.

genxr August 3, 2011 at 11:38 am

They'll be charging gas money, because none of them would dare get on an airplane now.

JustPixelz August 3, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Repubicans must be cumming in their Dockers with the minimum wage down to $0/hour. But those workers should be happy that they won't have to pay any income tax.

JohnyEdge August 3, 2011 at 12:08 pm

This is great! Once the concept is proved out, then we can ask the troops to pay their own way to Afghanistan, buy there own meals, rifles and ammunition and fight wars for free!

Personally, I'm going to start right away on my own freeway. You can charge concrete on Amex, right?

mooncrushworld August 3, 2011 at 1:33 pm

Hell, already families at home chip in to buy ceramic armor for the grunts that the gubmit is too cheap to buy. Cuz GED cannon fodder is cheap to come by and Bush didn't care who he sent to die for jingoism. Obama doesn't much either.

Betcha if you advertised it to the Teabagz as a "Ayrab Huntin Safari fer Jesus" they'd pony up a few grand, paint their scooters all camo, and go all prepared to kill browns for trophy skulls.

Salacious Crumb August 3, 2011 at 11:15 pm

Didn't that game come out on X-Box this summer?

snarkycomments August 3, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Thank God for those noble payday lender stores.

Lucidamente1 August 3, 2011 at 10:56 am

Ronnie firing those controllers in 1981 was like that guy who long-jumped 29 feet in the '68 Olympics: Republicans have been trying to break the record ever since.

DoktorThompson August 3, 2011 at 11:26 am

Watch yourself. Comparing Reagan to a black guy may get you the sharp end of some Tea Partier's pitchfork.

metamarcisf August 3, 2011 at 12:33 pm

The rest of us are children.

GOPCrusher August 3, 2011 at 2:21 pm

I never thought I would live long enough to see Ronnie Raygun compared to Bob Beamon.

Monsieur_Grumpe August 3, 2011 at 10:56 am

Dysfunction and flying do NOT go together.

Steverino247 August 3, 2011 at 11:46 am

Well, not for long.

OneDollarJuana August 3, 2011 at 11:50 am

Except in Alaska.

RedneckMuslin August 3, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Are you saying Ted Steven's was not dysfunctional? Or the plane?

inapewetrust August 3, 2011 at 10:58 am

thankfully, nobody can afford to fly anywhere anymore

BaldarTFlagass August 3, 2011 at 10:58 am

If there's a plane crash next Monday San Antonio-DFW-Dayton or reverse route on Wednesday, or SAT-DFW-Indianapolis-DFW-SAT the following Tuesday/Thursday, and I don't come back here and post, please blame the republicans for my death.

Texan_Bulldog August 3, 2011 at 11:01 am

You're going to OH & IN? Wouldn't death be slightly preferable?

BaldarTFlagass August 3, 2011 at 11:12 am

I spent 10 years doing work for the USAF overseas, flying into and out of Paris and London and Milan and Frankfurt and Venice and Istanbul and Dubai etc etc etc. Took a new position and my destinations now include Dayton and St Louis every quarter, plus the occasional trip to Kokomo and DC. Certainly quite a comedown, Sad Wings of Destiny indeed.
Silver lining, though, at least for next week, I'm gonna attend a Bela Fleck & the Flecktones concert in Columbus. Howard Levy is back!

KotBR August 3, 2011 at 12:24 pm

In fairness, there are much worse places to go than Columbus, OH..

BerkeleyBear August 3, 2011 at 1:33 pm

Yeah, unfortunately Baldar is going to one (Kokomo) the very next week. It's a hole that used to be a major GM town but a shell of its old self.

Enjoy the crappy ride up the state roads, Baldar.

ifthethunderdontgetya August 3, 2011 at 11:09 am

At least you can bask in the glory of having had the Preznit draw a picture of you, Baldar.
~

jus_wonderin August 3, 2011 at 11:12 am

I am going to check the CraigsList Missed Connections page on Thursday.

"Me: 5A. You: 4E. We made eye contact. Tell me what you were screaming as the wing fell off? Let's meet for coffee."

BaldarTFlagass August 3, 2011 at 11:30 am

All my colleagues in Cubeville are looking at me wondering why the hell I'm cracking up here. Excellent!

not that Dewey August 3, 2011 at 11:13 am

I'll blame them for your death no matter what happens.

DaRooster August 3, 2011 at 12:09 pm

They will be to blame for everyone's death anyhow… ultimately.

baconzgood August 3, 2011 at 11:37 am

You can't die. I can't count on these other Wonkette chumps to improve my pee status.

TxSpinyLizrd August 3, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Dogamighty BTF, we need to have us a convention of frequent-flying central TX Wonketeers. How many people could that possibly be?

proudgrampa August 3, 2011 at 2:46 pm

More than you could possibly know…

Schmannnity August 3, 2011 at 10:58 am

Why not let the invisible hand of the market determine air safety instead of this government handout? Then, to encourage innovation, we should restrict frivolous lawsuits against airlines when "market forces" cause a plane to slam into the ground.

fuflans August 3, 2011 at 12:11 pm

at my old marketing firm, we used to explain a modelling tool by saying you could never include 'airline safety' as a differentiator for customer choice. it was too important, too consistent and too regulated.

but that was in the age of sanity.

Texan_Bulldog August 3, 2011 at 10:59 am

It's all fun and games to the Tea Baggers until a plane goes down. I mean Capt. Sully can't pilot ALL of them!

Schmannnity August 3, 2011 at 11:03 am

They figure you can't fight the will of God with some government bureaucrat.

Atlas Frooged August 3, 2011 at 11:28 am

All copilots will be replaced by Jesus, so that's something.

OneDollarJuana August 3, 2011 at 11:57 am

I'm sooo glad Jesus isn't my copilot. Jeez, he'd catch those damn robes on the controls, always be brushing that long hair out of his eyes, smell like fish, and if the plane starts going down, he'd say "Too bad for you, sucka! I'm gonna be back in the air in three days, tops!"

SorosBot August 3, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Not to mention that he'd be all, "what monstrosity is this giant metal machine? Do you really expect me to believe man can fly? What's an engine and fuel?"

nounverb911 August 3, 2011 at 11:00 am

Just ground all of the business jets, that'll get this resolved fast.

EatsBabyDingos August 3, 2011 at 11:03 am

The TP memo says: "ABC's of the FAA-Carry on to Carrion in Three Easy Steps."

JustPixelz August 3, 2011 at 12:04 pm

They can count to three? IQ tests or GTFO.

Monsieur_Grumpe August 3, 2011 at 11:05 am

This is causing a 30 million a day tax revenue loss over a 12 million dollar subsidy.

We need to dissect some of these teabagger brains and see what the hell is going on in there. I’m guessing a vitamin deficiency or a do it yourself lobotomy that went wrong.

EatsBabyDingos August 3, 2011 at 11:08 am

Rick Perry M-80's blasted their brainy parts?

BaldarTFlagass August 3, 2011 at 11:14 am

I think it's a union-fucking tactic, so, ideology triumphs.

AJWjr. August 3, 2011 at 12:13 pm

^^^ This.

baconzgood August 3, 2011 at 11:33 am

Just like my old boss. He'd trip over $1000 to grab a penny.

DoktorThompson August 3, 2011 at 12:10 pm

We need to dissect some of these teabagger brains and see what the hell is going on in there.

Perhaps the hamster fell off the wheel.

KenLayIsAlive August 3, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Open the skull, nothing inside. Like a fortune cookie without the fortune.

genxr August 3, 2011 at 12:46 pm

These are people who diet by eating a piece of celery — and then reward themselves with a big mac.

BerkeleyBear August 3, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Unfortunately, this lunacy predates the TP. Apparently Coburn has a burr up his ass about eliminating subsidies in a 90 mile radius of "major" airports, which may work in Oklahoma but makes no sense in places that get snow and aren't flat as a pancake.

Plus the union busting, which is actually not even in this legislation. So this is classic GOP stupid/venal tactics, not the new psycho.

Negropolis August 4, 2011 at 1:29 am

Displaced hookworms, lots and lots of hookworms.

ifthethunderdontgetya August 3, 2011 at 11:05 am

Stop crying about your crashing planes and eat your mother-funkin' peas, people.
~

widestanceroman August 3, 2011 at 11:07 am

Relax, everyone. John McCain has canceled the world, so he can go and save the airs.

KenLayIsAlive August 3, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Haha. Man, that's the last guy I want flying my plane.

proudgrampa August 3, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Yeah, THAT's reassuring…

Ducksworthy August 3, 2011 at 11:11 am

I hope Jim Imhofe is visiting Tulsa today, where its 110 in the shade, so he can esplain the global warming hoax and cool of his ignorant supporters there with his flapping lips.

freakishlywrong August 3, 2011 at 11:20 am

And land airplanes on top of them. Which is he is wont to do.

KenLayIsAlive August 3, 2011 at 12:16 pm

"Inhofe's Flapping Lips". Got nothing on the Flaming Lips.

OneDollarJuana August 3, 2011 at 11:11 am

Just one more reason why I prefer a bad case of toenail fungus to flying.

ProudLibunatic August 3, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Yes, as if flying wasn't shitty enough…

NorthStarSpanx August 3, 2011 at 11:12 am

The second a lawmaker agrees to give up their health care, their SS, M&M, their credit cards, mortgage, farm subsidy or a few months of pay for the fiscal health of the country, is the day this arrangement is even acceptable.

freakishlywrong August 3, 2011 at 11:22 am

"lawmaker". HAHAHA! More like Satan sandwich makers.

mavenmaven August 3, 2011 at 11:13 am

Its all a plot to encourage al qaeda terrorists to strike so that they can blame Obama for the attack.

widestanceroman August 3, 2011 at 11:26 am

Ah, yes. The old recess attack trick.

x111e7thst August 3, 2011 at 11:15 am

Not only should the lazy union scum be obliged to work without pay they should be beaten and yelled at while they are doing so.

Atlas Frooged August 3, 2011 at 11:39 am

You pretty much quote from a good editorial in Truthout: "those same CEOs say they won't invest in new jobs or raise wages until consumers start buying again. That's like saying, "The beatings will continue until morale improves."

Here it is if you care to read it http://tinyurl.com/obama-noballs

GOPCrusher August 3, 2011 at 2:37 pm

LOL! It would be worth the pain of the last few weeks to see President Obama get on TV and tell the American public that now that the debt ceiling issue has been resolved, he is calling on the Republiklan members of the House to get down to passing a job creation bill, like they promised to do before the 2010 elections.

hagajim August 3, 2011 at 11:16 am

Maybe li'l Barry ought to stop paying these fuckers until they can take their jobs seriously….oh wait, I forgot, li'l Barry has no balls.

SayItWithWookies August 3, 2011 at 11:17 am

Boehner's House managed to kill 75,000 jobs, make air travel dangerous and be criminally negligent all in one fell inaction. It's a teabagger hat trick. What the fuck is wrong with these people?

poncho_pilot August 3, 2011 at 11:19 am
SayItWithWookies August 3, 2011 at 11:35 am

Wow, thanks for that. And just so we're warned:

In roleplaying situations, authoritarians tend to seek dominance over others by being competitive and destructive instead of cooperative. In a study by Altemeyer, 68 authoritarians played a three hour simulation of the Earth's future entitled the Global change game. Unlike a comparison game played by individuals with low RWA [right-wing authoritarianism] scores, which resulted in world peace and widespread international cooperation, the simulation by authoritarians became highly militarized and eventually entered the stage of nuclear war. By the end of the high RWA game, the entire population of the earth was declared dead.

freakishlywrong August 3, 2011 at 11:24 am

They're sociopaths. Sociopaths that are utterly unaccountable in our media. They do this shit and get away with it because the "news" tells everyone that "Congress" didn't pass the bill. Never mentions who or why, just generic "Government is bad shit. Y'know, both sides..

jus_wonderin August 3, 2011 at 11:25 am

Next up:

*Defunding Government Monies for power to traffic lights and crosswalk signals.

DaRooster August 3, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Signals shmignals…

GOPCrusher August 3, 2011 at 2:39 pm

Only the strong should survive crossing the street!

weejee August 3, 2011 at 11:35 am

Beloved Rachel Maddow has a bit on how the debt deal will likely cost 1.3M jobz. Agent Orange is starting to make Vlad the Impaler look like a piker with how many people he is shafting.

freakishlywrong August 3, 2011 at 12:03 pm

She rawked last night. I love the way she played the clip of that smug asshole twice, just to drive home the point that when the economy is gone forever, Boner got 98% of what he wanted, and that he's happy.

GOPCrusher August 3, 2011 at 2:42 pm

That's great, but until it shows up on the ABC, CBS, NBC news broadcasts, most people will never know the truth.

Atlas Frooged August 3, 2011 at 11:36 am

And the blame will be laid at BO's feet and he'll accept it. Because Boehner threatened to sit on him and have McConnell shove leaves down his shirt until he agreed.

Chet Kincaid August 3, 2011 at 12:49 pm

I read that as "one fellation." Insert Koch joke here.

powersuit August 3, 2011 at 11:19 am

All of this to prove a goddam point about goddam unions for airline and railroad workers. The whole country gets to pay the price for their antiunion freakout. What a bunch of lousy cowards. The war on the public continues!

SayItWithWookies August 3, 2011 at 11:36 am

Serfdom's up!

mog253 August 3, 2011 at 12:30 pm

The weird part is the 'baggers in this area are mostly retired union employees or current union employees (teachers if you can believe that). My head may explode.

Terry August 3, 2011 at 11:19 am

Inspectors are working without pay and charging their travel to their own credit cards.

Yeah, tell me again how bad Federal employees are.

ManchuCandidate August 3, 2011 at 11:20 am

I picked a bad week to quit drinking…

"There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane/run a gubbiment/ understand public satety/ economics? "

natoslug August 3, 2011 at 12:23 pm

It was also a lousy week to quit sniffing glue. Although glue sniffing and paint huffing might explain the mentality of the teabaggers.

OneDollarJuana August 3, 2011 at 12:36 pm

It's a good week to start drinking. Vacation starts on Friday! Thank Dog that they raised the debt limit. I was afraid our campground (Nat'l Forest) would be closed.

BlueStateLibel August 3, 2011 at 11:21 am

Not to worry, after a few planes crash, consumers (the not-dead ones) will figure out which airlines and airports are the safest. This is exactly how the free market is supposed to work, stop being such commies!

smitallica August 3, 2011 at 11:23 am

If the Democrats knew how to play hardball, they would say, loudly and repeatedly, that our troops coming home from being in harm's way overseas fly through commercial hubs, on commercial planes, and the Republicans are literally endangering our sacred, heroic troops.
But alas, the Democrats have proven that they know fuck-all about playing hardball.

prommie August 3, 2011 at 12:53 pm

And there are fetuses inside the pregnant women on the planes! The GOP are nothing but a bunch of abortionists, is what they are. Genocidal Terrorists!

SorosBot August 3, 2011 at 11:23 am

Now how will we prevent those motherfucking snakes from getting on the motherfucking planes?

DoktorThompson August 3, 2011 at 11:30 am

Well, we could start by getting Rand Paul's name on the TSA's watchlist.

OneDollarJuana August 3, 2011 at 12:38 pm
baconzgood August 3, 2011 at 11:30 am

Who will find Jody Fosters kid too?

SorosBot August 3, 2011 at 11:37 am

Or prevent that weird creature from destroying the wing, the one that William Shatner and John Lithgow saw?

jus_wonderin August 3, 2011 at 11:37 am

Slight Curve: I gotta say, an NPR Vigilante Talk Show Host would be an excellent addition to Congress…right about now.

poncho_pilot August 3, 2011 at 12:01 pm
Sharkey August 3, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

baconzgood August 3, 2011 at 11:23 am

Big deal so a few planes crash into buildings and a field in the middle of nowhere PA….oh no that was a pretty big fucking deal when it happened.

GunToting[Redacted] August 3, 2011 at 11:49 am

True, but those were Muslin and Brown terrorists. These terrorists are right-wing White dudes, which cannot BE terrorists, so Q.E.D., Muslim and Brown…?

Fuck, I can't remember where I was going with this…

jus_wonderin August 3, 2011 at 12:06 pm

You got there. We will come find you and lead you back. Dont' move!

ttommyunger August 3, 2011 at 11:24 am

"I have had it with this motherfuckin safety on these motherfuckin planes!"

Steverino247 August 3, 2011 at 11:49 am

You saved me the trouble of posting that. Very good!

ttommyunger August 3, 2011 at 12:06 pm

About time! You usually beat me to the punch.

Steverino247 August 3, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Kind of you to say so.

ttommyunger August 3, 2011 at 3:38 pm

Unkind of you to do so-so fucking often! ;)

donner_froh August 3, 2011 at 11:25 am

"charge their government travel expenses to their personal credit cards to keep airports operating safely."

I don't know how it is now but 20 years ago a senior inspector was on the road from Monday thru Thursday or Friday for about 30 weeks a year. That's a whole lot of flights and hotel rooms to charge in the hope that they will get their money back especially while not getting paid.

SorosBot August 3, 2011 at 11:45 am

Well I'm sure the government will pay for the inevitable credit card interest, right?

bagofmice August 3, 2011 at 12:56 pm

If there was ever a need for a credit default swap…

metamarcisf August 3, 2011 at 11:26 am

In an interview with NPR yesterday, Harry Reid placed the blame for the fiasco solely on Delta Airlines' intransigence with unions.

widestanceroman August 3, 2011 at 11:28 am

What is the sound of two invisible hands flapping really fast?

jus_wonderin August 3, 2011 at 11:39 am

"Aaayayayayayayayayayyayayayayayayayayayayayayayay…"

Wait, is it coming toward me, or falling away? Damn physics!!

poncho_pilot August 3, 2011 at 12:04 pm

oooh! you said, "Flapping!"

widestanceroman August 3, 2011 at 12:15 pm

I proofed the comment twice before submitting, too, since that typo would have altered my intention considerably.

baconzgood August 3, 2011 at 11:29 am

WORK WITHOUT PAY?!?!?!?! WHERE DO I SIGN UP?

SorosBot August 3, 2011 at 11:38 am

In college, under the "summer intern" listings.

baconzgood August 3, 2011 at 11:41 am

I'm getting one of those in the fall. I can't wait (rubbing hands together) MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BaldarTFlagass August 3, 2011 at 11:49 am

You're going to go far!

freakishlywrong August 3, 2011 at 12:40 pm

You're getting a summer intern in the Fall? You be nice to your intern, Baconz. Or else, they'll be posting on the Wonkett about what a big tool you are. Like you did.

baconzgood August 3, 2011 at 12:46 pm

I'm not a tool. I'm going to teach him/her how to look like your working all the while plotting some nefarious scheme to get Dept. Dir. Dale canned in the next 18 months.

baconzgood August 3, 2011 at 11:31 am

This is good news for Tyler Durden.

YasserArraFeck August 3, 2011 at 11:34 am

My mother would always say " It's all very funny until someone gets hurt", but she was talking to a bunch of mewling children, not the US Congress…..oh, wait…..

WinterOuthouse August 3, 2011 at 11:39 am

To the Hindenburg everybody.

Ducksworthy August 3, 2011 at 11:41 am

It's OK. Gravity is only a theory. And it's not even in the bible.

JustPixelz August 3, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Bible Physics! The sun stops in the sky, the oil burns for 8 days, water into wine. The biggest miracle is turning parables into public policy. God is amazing.

jus_wonderin August 3, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Don't forget the fishes. Those fishes aren't going to piece themselves out to the multitudes all by themselves.

Ducksworthy August 3, 2011 at 1:07 pm

I think that socialist episode has been expunged from the TeaBagger Bible.

bagofmice August 3, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Newton had to ruin it by having the apple fall on its own. Fall of man indeed. Harumph!

genxr August 3, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Like Manatees, it's against the Bible and the Bill of Rights!

WinterOuthouse August 3, 2011 at 11:42 am

Waiting patiently for the President's balls to drop

Papa_Uniform August 3, 2011 at 11:45 am

No worries! It's just the facilities inspectors who are being asked to work without pay and pay for their own transportation to airports to do their jobs. You know, the guys who inspect navigation radios and landing systems. Take-offs won't be affected, just landings. There. Feel better?

GunToting[Redacted] August 3, 2011 at 11:51 am

Thank you for flying Air Divine Wind!

jus_wonderin August 3, 2011 at 12:14 pm

"Please make sure you close the overhead bin. As you take your seat, just go ahead and put your head between your legs. Hey you, 13A, I meant your own legs!"

EatsBabyDingos August 3, 2011 at 11:51 am

"Let them eat day-old Cheetos!"

not that Dewey August 3, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Let's Roll!

KenLayIsAlive August 3, 2011 at 12:19 pm

…off the end of the runway because the brakes didn't get inspected!

johnnyzhivago August 3, 2011 at 12:03 pm

If you can't trust the airlines to inspect their own planes, who can you trust.

widestanceroman August 3, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Founding Fathers Faith-Based Flight expects no disruptions in service during this time.*

*All trips must be paid in cash prior to boarding.

Lucidamente1 August 3, 2011 at 12:06 pm

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue."

jus_wonderin August 3, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Spoon!

bagofmice August 3, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Well, there's nigh invulnerability, and then there's the effects of nigh-invulnerability on decision making…

johnnyzhivago August 3, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Isn't checking for cracks and being sure the radio works a job we could assign to a couple of passengers, like the exit row thing??

BaldarTFlagass August 3, 2011 at 12:25 pm

I'm good with this, but I am drawing the line on serving coffee to that whiny fuck back in 18E.

genxr August 3, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Fuck that, I'm cracking open a beer and sliding down the emergency chute.

OneDollarJuana August 3, 2011 at 12:43 pm

The TSA is already checking cracks.

NowTheyTellMe August 3, 2011 at 12:13 pm

"In related news, several other government agencies have also been de-funded using similar methods. Included are the ICE, the United States Treasury, and the Coast Guard. At press time, it was rumored that an armada of 10 million Cubans was headed toward Miami, clutching what appear to be handfuls of cash bearing the image of Walt Disney."

JustPixelz August 3, 2011 at 12:16 pm

If — as the Repubicans claim — cutting taxes is a bad idea in a "fragile economy", so is cutting spending. For the same reason.

mormos August 3, 2011 at 12:19 pm

can someone tell me the last time congress did something meaningful? I might be too young to remember.

Ohforcripessake August 3, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Meaningful? Frequently. Moral? Rarely.

VaWyo August 3, 2011 at 4:24 pm

I like that "do not call registry." Beyond that I can't think of a thing.

fuflans August 3, 2011 at 12:19 pm

are we sick of teatards yet?

freakishlywrong August 3, 2011 at 12:27 pm

YET? I wonder when the adoration of the media will ever wane however? When they have one of their hate rallies, it's usually 4-1/ media to teatard.

mavenmaven August 3, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Fortunately, the GOP bigwigs all have private jets without taxation, so they're ok, and thats what matters so they can provide more jobs!!!

donner_froh August 3, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Why not just go full Reagan on them and fire the whole FAA?

prommie August 3, 2011 at 12:28 pm

The tea-partiers cause, and their identity, as recently pointed out by Michael Lind, is the confederacy, and this is just more of the same. If you read all the confederate states' declarations of secession, after slavery, their second major issue, was "aids to navigation." In that day it meant buoys and lighthouses, but today, it is of course air traffic control. plus ca change . . .

Callyson August 3, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Don't members of Congress fly? Because if I were an airport inspector, I'd be sure to give them a very slow secondary search…see how they feel after missing a plane or ten…

MissTaken August 3, 2011 at 12:33 pm

I'm so glad I'm leaving the US for the magical land of Canadia this weekend so I can avoid this bullshit for a week.

AH crap, I'm flying there. Anyone know if Amtrak goes from SF to Nova Scotia?

bagofmice August 3, 2011 at 1:04 pm

What was wrong with the old Scotia, eh?

Negropolis August 4, 2011 at 1:39 am

They shut that off after 9/11, well, at least in the border in Detroit. Now, you have to get off at Detroit's station, catch the Tunnel Bus to Windsor, and hope to get a ticket on VIA rail.

metamarcisf August 3, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Is it just me or is the excitement over Rick's Perry Saturday afternoon prayer-fest / goat fuck becoming too overwhelming to get any work done at all, I must say?

mumbly_joe August 3, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Wow, so you reward terroristy terrorists for their terrorist hostage-taking, and they basically decide to do it over and over again since they get so much out of it? WHO WOULD HAVE FUCKING SUSPECTED.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 3, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Just remember the next time Republicans complain about government workers these poor slobs keeping the planes safe for no pay because the GOP would rather crush government than govern.

orygoon August 3, 2011 at 12:56 pm

While this does not exactly explain to me why we cannot have nice trains, like the Europeans do, I think it is somehow related.

bravo_sierra August 3, 2011 at 12:57 pm

$700 of a $1800 ticket I had to buy recently was "taxes." If the FCC can no longer collect taxes from airlines, why haven't ticket prices plunged considerably?

freakishlywrong August 3, 2011 at 1:05 pm

They're pocketing it. More Corporate welfare. But, at least it'll be more difficult to form a thuggish union.

bagofmice August 3, 2011 at 1:10 pm

What does it profit a man, if he can't extract as much rent as humanly possible?

NowTheyTellMe August 3, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Is that really a question? http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/07/26/2332284/wit….

ProudLibunatic August 3, 2011 at 12:58 pm

I'd happily trade the TSA and their stupid "security theater" for the inspectors.
(Their ridiculous "official-like" uniform patches alone could fund the inspector's salaries.)

MissTaken August 3, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Sweet! If the FAA is no longer in charge of regulating air travel does that mean we can start masturbating on planes again?

genxr August 3, 2011 at 1:11 pm

ummmm… start…. yeah….

Steverino247 August 3, 2011 at 6:13 pm

So long as your vagina doesn't get to vote in Wisconsin.

Chet Kincaid August 3, 2011 at 1:06 pm

OT, but the stink-eye of Ken Layne's evil cat-Pope has appeared unto my IntenseDebate account again as the last visitor. God that's freaky, like he's doing the two-finger-my-eyes-to-yours thing in front of his webcam. Is he angry that I keep accusing him of being Wonkette Jr.?

Toomush_Infer August 3, 2011 at 1:07 pm

So when does Congress fly home…?

peaceshelly August 3, 2011 at 1:09 pm

STRIKE….
I bet when the Senators and Congressmen can't get to their mistresses and hookers they will be more than happy to send some cash to the FAA.

BTWBFDIMHO August 3, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Where is the flying dog pic when we need it?

peaceshelly August 3, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Guy enters airport security carrying C4 and box cutters.
Inspector says,
Fuck it. I ain't even getting paid for this shit.

Beowoof August 3, 2011 at 1:14 pm

I know I always trust the free market to do the safe thing. Now give me my tainted turkey, peanut butter and spinach sandwich on plate painted with lead paint.

owhatever August 3, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Max out my personal credit card to keep air travel safe while the Senators goes home on vacation. Okay. Sounds reasonable. Those AMEX debt chasers will understand if I'm late with the September payment of $432,098,37.

Doktor Zoom August 3, 2011 at 1:29 pm

Meh. Not that it will accomplish anything, but it felt good to type:

(To: Rep. Mike Simpson, R-ID)

Dear Representative Simpson,

I am writing to urge you and the other members of the House to reconvene as soon as humanly possible to re-authorize the Federal Aviation Administration. At a time when the country is suffering from unemployment, it is absurd to furlough 4,000 workers at the FAA and another 70,000 construction workers at airport projects nationwide. Furthermore, Republicans' stated concern about the budget deficit (and the cost of subsidies for rural air service) rings rather hollow when the cost of the partial shutdown is costing the government $30 million a day in uncollected taxes. It's a nice gift to the airlines, I suppose, but it does nothing to inspire confidence in our legislative process. And in the meantime, airport projects sit idle and safety inspectors are being asked to go without pay.

Please, Mr. Simpson, go back to Washington and do your job. After the manufactured debt ceiling "crisis," Americans are getting tired of the political games being played by Congress.

genxr August 3, 2011 at 1:45 pm

You made it sound like a tax cut for airlines. Now he'll never re-authorize it.

Graham Cracker August 3, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Somewhat lacking in snark…but well said.

mooncrushworld August 3, 2011 at 1:43 pm

I bet even though we can't pay for plane security, if some group takes advantage of that laxity to pull another goddamn 9-11 we sure magically will find the money for another fuckin war.

GOPCrusher August 3, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Wars don't cost this country nothing.

Guppy06 August 3, 2011 at 1:43 pm

This is good news for Joe Biden's Amtrak!

Guppy06 August 3, 2011 at 1:48 pm

"relying on airport safety inspectors to continue working without pay"

They would, but the manager at the McDonald's they have to work at to pay the rent gets real pissed off when they show up late for the lunch rush.

simplyblue7 August 3, 2011 at 3:28 pm

I'm sure these employees will work just as hard as if they were getting paid…oh god, nobody fly.

VaWyo August 3, 2011 at 4:29 pm

I'm sure the inspectors are very serious about making sure the planes are safe. But they have been furloughed. That means they are not working. And why would anyone spend his/her own money to do the job they have been furloughed from when their income has stopped and they need their money just to support themselves? It's crazy and I would questions the sanity of anyone who would do it.

Negropolis August 4, 2011 at 1:21 am

Yes, yes, our descent into Idiocracy is nearly complete…

America: Shutting down, one department at a time, since 1981.

outragedcitizen August 4, 2011 at 3:20 pm

I can just see those teabagging assholes getting on a jet at National Airport, ( I refuse to call it Ronald Reagan Airport), and suddenly realizing that they just might have fucked up this time.

NorthStarSpanx August 3, 2011 at 11:27 am

In "So I Married An Axe Murderer" Stephen Wright plays a Piper pilot who fell asleep in a storm flying a cop out to an Island to save his friend.

He wakes up and says, "Oh, you wouldn't believe the dream I had,"

Anthony LaPaglia screams, "I don't care about your dream, just fly the plane!"

Chet Kincaid August 3, 2011 at 12:41 pm

All-Volunteer Air Safety! I play a lot of Flight Control on my iPhone–can I help out in 5-minute increments while commuting?

genxr August 3, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Crowdsourcing air traffic control! I think you've hit on something there. We'll have this budget balanced in no time.

Swampgas_Man August 3, 2011 at 2:07 pm

On your next flight, be sure and shout out lots of suggestions and information to your server! They LOVE the help!

genxr August 3, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Roger flight one niner… last message was unclear… please adjust heading to avoid collision…

freakishlywrong August 3, 2011 at 1:01 pm

I thought you got him canned already? What I meant, Baconz, is that you were always posting on the Wonkett about what a tool Dale is. Now, you'll have an intern, see?

baconzgood August 3, 2011 at 1:25 pm

No Not fired…YET. He tangled with me over some office policies he implemented and I won. 'Cause you don't fuck with the Baconz when it comes to my buisness time. I remember my internship. And Larry taught me everything I know about slackin' . He made George Constanze from Sienfeld look like John Henry.

freakishlywrong August 3, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Do you write for The Onion?

Barb August 3, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Thanks!

VaWyo August 3, 2011 at 4:23 pm

It's the National Mediation Board (NMB), not the NLRB.

My union did a study about this last year and NOT ONE single newly elected member of congress would have been elected using the standard they want for unions in the airline and railroad industry. It's bull shit. And it is all because of Delta and their flight attendants.

BaldarTFlagass August 4, 2011 at 8:34 am

Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump.

For 60 miles up US 31. Yeesh.

BerkeleyBear August 4, 2011 at 8:07 pm

Shortly after moving to Bloomington, my wife wanted to meet with her relatives in Grand Haven (western)Michigan halfway between the two. Looked at a map and picked South Bend, because exactly half way was a field in Amish country. We wind up on 31 the whole way, they get to take interstates – it took nearly 3 times as long, and going through Kokomo and South Bend made me actually appreciate Indianapolis.

I've got a lot of reasons to hate Notre Dame, but that trip was the cherry on the shit sundae.

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