WHINERS  5:50 pm August 2, 2011

Gabby Giffords Appearance Makes Jonah Goldberg Curse Everybody Out

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

in a sensitive mood today.Touchy maggot sack Jonah Goldberg got into “one of his moods” today and typed a column entitled “To Hell With You People” over in his Corner, because he is incredibly sick to his stomach that the vicious liberal media did not bother to crucify and poop on Joe Biden’s corpse for saying something dumb and politically incorrect about how Tea Party legislators were “acting like terrorists” during the debt ceiling negotiations. SUCK DEVIL BALLZ all of you liberal elites, because Gabby Giffords’ surprise appearance in Congress reminds Jonah not of healing or hope, but of exactly how mean everybody in the leftist media was to his irrelevant gun freak girlfriend Sarah Palin when Giffords was shot. A little fairness, you socialist commie assholes?

Here is Jonah with his pants down in front of his computer:

But think about this for a second. The Giffords shooting sent the media elite in this country into a bout of St. Vitus’s dance that would have warranted an army of exorcists in previous ages. Sarah Palin’s Facebook map was an evil totem that forced some guy to go on a shooting spree. The New York Times, the Washington Post, all three broadcast networks — particularly NBC whose senior foreign-affairs correspondent, Andrea Mitchell, devotes, by my rough reckoning, ten times as much air time to whining about Sarah Palin as she does about anything having to do with foreign affairs — flooded the zone with “Have you no shame” finger wagging. A memo went forth demanding that everyone at MSNBC get their dresses over their heads about the evil “tone” from the right. Media Matters went into overdrive working the interns 24/7 to “prove” that Republicans deliberately foment violence with their evil targets on their evil congressional maps.

Good analysis, if you’re a twit. The “tone” on BOTH SIDES of these pointless, interminable media debates about nothing is littered with aborted fetuses and Injun tears, all the time, every day. Why Jonah Goldberg noticed this “today” is anyone’s guess, but K-Lo’s apartment is always open if he needs a little comfort. [NRO]

 
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{ 326 comments }

mormos August 2, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Biden's statement actually sounds pretty accurate. The teaparty threatened to destroy the country through default unless we acceded to their political demands.

That is pretty much the definition of terrorism.

Callyson August 2, 2011 at 6:00 pm

The baggers certainly terrify me…

glamourdammerung August 2, 2011 at 6:03 pm

Exactly. The teabaggers are crying about getting called on the very behavior they are gloating over doing.

Jukesgrrl August 2, 2011 at 9:22 pm

It never ceases to amaze me that these people can SELF-IDENTIFY as "pathetic victims of the left" and "undefeated" simultaneously.

horsedreamer_1 August 3, 2011 at 10:26 am

Duh. Winning.

starfanglednut August 2, 2011 at 10:10 pm

Well put.

An_Outhouse August 2, 2011 at 6:37 pm

threatening violence to achieve a political purpose. That sounds about like the scenario we just witnessed. Hey baggers, if the shoe fits, we'll shove it up your ass. If it doesn't immediately, we'll make it fit.

Tommmcatt August 2, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Making me imagine what might go on in Katherine Jean Lopez's apartment when she is alone there with Jonah Goldberg is MY definition of terrorism.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 2, 2011 at 7:34 pm

God knows, there would be some property damage.

SaneCatLady August 2, 2011 at 7:09 pm

Terrist = furriner and/or Muslin.

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 10:09 pm

Ahem! Brown furriner and/or Muslim.

FIFY, no need to thank.

poorgradstudent August 2, 2011 at 7:16 pm

But it's different because white people.

BlueStateLibel August 2, 2011 at 7:32 pm

Eh, the IRA begs to differ.

But, come to think of it, the IRA set off a bomb in London's financial district in the '90s, causing huge damage, and there was a huge cost to repair the damage. "Only" one person was killed. The teatards were ready to inflict even greater damage.

bin Laden himself stated that his goal was to destroy the U.S. economy, something the teatards were quite willing to do. I bet many of them still would too. You don't need just bombs to terrorize people. Just some thoughts, no one quote me on this.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 2, 2011 at 7:35 pm

In fairness, the Irish are the brown people of Europe.

snoopyfan2010 August 2, 2011 at 8:00 pm

Riiiiiiiight and they're treated just as badly too.

user-of-owls August 2, 2011 at 8:18 pm

Ah, ya fekkin' Fenian

Negropolis August 3, 2011 at 3:54 am

I think the Gypsies take that title. Everybody in Europe hates the gypsies. Hitler tried to wipe them out up there with the Jews.

Not_So_Much August 2, 2011 at 10:07 pm

Ooooh, making a cogent comparison between OBL and the HoveRound brigade would have their heads essploding. I intend to do this often over the coming days. (well, until I have to start selling my body parts to feed the kids and such and lose the ability to communicate…)

starfanglednut August 2, 2011 at 10:11 pm

Thoughts? Tea party?

HogeyeGrex August 3, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Well, McConnell already stated the obvious, that next time the debt ceiling vote comes around they'll do the same thing again.

This is what happens when you negotiate with terrorists.

wonkettkinkster August 3, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Yeah, but the whole "don't negotiate with terrorists" thing is based on the assumption you're going to loose a few hostages.

Limeylizzie August 2, 2011 at 5:55 pm

I wouldn't mind putting my dress over Rachel Maddow's head.

metamarcisf August 2, 2011 at 6:01 pm

Oh yes.

themcwow August 2, 2011 at 6:01 pm

What about Andrea Mitchell?

metamarcisf August 2, 2011 at 6:09 pm

She said "dress", not "bag".

themcwow August 2, 2011 at 6:13 pm

Thank you for a good belly laugh with tears.

mrpuma2u August 2, 2011 at 6:21 pm

But she was really hot back in the first Reagan term…

nounverb911 August 2, 2011 at 6:42 pm

There was more than one Reagan?

horsedreamer_1 August 3, 2011 at 10:28 am

Hey, now, some people are into acne scarring.

Limeylizzie August 2, 2011 at 6:13 pm

Well if the choice was her or her husband, I would take Andrea.

Nothingisamiss August 2, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Omg. Please don't put that image in my head ever again.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 2, 2011 at 7:36 pm

I wouldn't mind watching.

BTWBFDIMHO August 2, 2011 at 8:49 pm

Rachel never stops talking. Are you trying to lower your Air Conditioner bill?

Limeylizzie August 2, 2011 at 9:04 pm

Er, she's paid to talk, she has a TeeVee show, so it would be boring if she didn't talk.

HistoriCat August 2, 2011 at 9:51 pm

Lizzie – you went feline!

Limeylizzie August 2, 2011 at 9:56 pm

Just for the evening, it's Neville my beloved Ginger Tom, I wanted to show him to Pristine O'Dummy , as we were comparing felines yesterday.

HistoriCat August 2, 2011 at 10:09 pm

Hawtness!

Limeylizzie August 2, 2011 at 10:14 pm

Man, I truly love cats, yourself included Histori.

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 10:11 pm

And I am Always Grateful. So there.

EggplantParm August 3, 2011 at 3:17 pm

"as we were comparing felines yesterday"… there's something about this phrase…I just can't put my finger on it.

Beetagger August 2, 2011 at 5:56 pm

Let me be the first to say, Jesus Christ, that is one ugly woman.

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 6:06 pm

The man version ain't any better.

Gleem_McShineys August 2, 2011 at 6:26 pm

I hear the man version is actually better, being 100% vagina and all.

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 6:35 pm

You can ignore that baby-corn-chubby thingy. It's just about the size of K-Lo's clit.

fartknocker August 2, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Butt ugly. She didn't get hit with the ugly stick – it was the whole darn tree.

Swampgas_Man August 2, 2011 at 7:19 pm

The name Chewbacca comes to mind.

tessiee August 3, 2011 at 1:13 am

As does the name Rebecca Mansour, for some reason.
Separated at birth?

Fare la Volpe August 2, 2011 at 8:37 pm

Hey, be nice to Ms. Lopez.

Mahousu August 2, 2011 at 5:56 pm

demanding that everyone at MSNBC get their dresses over their heads

So now we know what Jonah dreams about all day. Not that it's much of a surprise.

AlaskaGrrl August 2, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Or much of a dream.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 2, 2011 at 7:37 pm

What does that even mean? Perhaps in J-Go's world, the greatest horror you can imagine is being exposed to lady bits?

HistoriCat August 2, 2011 at 9:53 pm

Well if K-Lo was always sniffing around your office …

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 10:12 pm

There was that ONE doofus who goes by the name of Ace of Spades who described ladybits as a combination of play-doh and bacon. Methinks the feller's never actually seen any up close and personal.

starfanglednut August 2, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Well, when I was a kid I ate play doh, and now I eat… Oh, never mind.

tessiee August 3, 2011 at 1:23 am

Hey, if it tasted like bacon, I'd… Oh, never mind.

MrFizzy August 2, 2011 at 5:56 pm

Rosie O'Donnell has been breeding with Mark McGuire. Nice blouse, doucheburger.

Jukesgrrl August 2, 2011 at 9:31 pm

When a person is naturally unfortunate looking, I think it's terrible when others, even the Wonkeratti, make fun of their appearance. But in this case, when a grown man CHOOSES to look like such a self-satisfied clown, and his absurd appearance is compounded by hateful thoughts and genuine stupidity, he deserves every nasty thing anyone can think to say about him. So p for you, MrFizzy.

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 10:13 pm

I'm good with that, Jukesgrrl. Teh plain is fine, teh ugly is even fine, but teh WILLFUL and DELIBERATE ugly? Bring forth the mockage.

MrFizzy August 3, 2011 at 10:52 am

You know why I love Wonkette? Because of stuff like what you just said > I really do need to be a little more circumspect about ridiculing things that are outside of peoples' control, something that I do a wee bit too often. However, as you also rightly pointed out, this guy has put forth an effort to appear and act like an utter imbecile, and thus has offered himself up as a valid target. Wonk on!

metamarcisf August 2, 2011 at 5:56 pm

He has a point. The top headline at Redstate right now is:

"Harry Reid Admits He’s a Terrorist Hijacker of FAA Funding"

which is right above:

"Jonah Goldberg is tired of the vicious hypocrisy of these people…"

So thanks for pointing out the hypocrisy, Jonah the Whale.

genxr August 2, 2011 at 5:58 pm

Nothing insensitive about using terrorist metaphors when talking about air travel, right?

Fukui_sanYesOta August 2, 2011 at 5:58 pm

Another headline on the front page:

"Axis of Evil? NJ Government Unions Unite Against Chris Christie and Taxpayers"

fuflans August 2, 2011 at 6:40 pm

if harry reid were a terrorist we could defund dhs.

Fukui_sanYesOta August 2, 2011 at 5:57 pm

I'm surprised he's not crying about Walnutz reading that NYT thing about Hobbits. He's normally got a baby corn-like chubby whenever anyone mentions Tolkein, mainly because he's a cheeto-dusted doofus.

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 6:07 pm

I am so stealing "baby-corn-like chubby." Not literally, of course, and not off Ghouldberg, but.

kateinmt August 2, 2011 at 9:02 pm

I have to agree. "Baby corn-like chubby" is THE best phrase I've heard in ages!

Jukesgrrl August 2, 2011 at 9:33 pm

Since childhood, I've been freaked out by baby corn. I consider it a creation of the devil. Never more so than now.

ProudLibunatic August 2, 2011 at 10:20 pm

Baby corn-like chubby is the best thing since "guano faucet!"

smokefilleddoommate August 2, 2011 at 5:57 pm

Goddamn bitch gets shot in the head, makes incredible progress in her recovery and gets fucking airtime for it?!! What about how Biden called the Pee Tardies terrorists? Huh? Did you hear about that?

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 6:08 pm

In exactly that tone of voice, too.

NorthStarSpanx August 2, 2011 at 7:32 pm

And musn't we go back to when Rahm said in a closed door meeting that their ideas were retarded?

NorthStarSpanx August 2, 2011 at 7:37 pm

Or how about that old favorite about Rahm telling his own people behind closed doors that their ideas were retarded, and how that somehow was an insult to the pretend mother of a prop kid they named of his own syndrome?

tessiee August 3, 2011 at 1:27 am

Interspersed with elbow nudges to the ribs:

Hanh? [nudge] Hanh? [nudge nudge]

smokefilleddoommate August 3, 2011 at 2:14 am

Hennnnnnnnngh?! And then his fat fucking head explodes.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 2, 2011 at 7:41 pm

Remember, in Jonah's world, the only thing that women are good for are getting you a job or sopping up semen on their blue dress.

HogeyeGrex August 3, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Which in his case are closely related.

genxr August 2, 2011 at 5:57 pm

Wow. Giffords really should have been more sensitive to teabaggers' feelings. The nerve or her, having a speedy recovery and flaunting it everyone's face!

Jukesgrrl August 2, 2011 at 9:44 pm

What about the cruelty of her staying alive to take a job from a teabagger?! !11

Governor Jan Brewer weeps. Had she been handed the opportunity to appoint Gabby's successor, I have no doubt the seat would have gone to Jesse Kelly, the man Rep. Giffords narrowly defeated in 2010. Kelly is Joe Miller with slightly more polite bodyguards.

GOPCrusher August 2, 2011 at 5:58 pm

And yet, America still asks, why hasn't Sarah Palin been arrested yet for conspiracy in the shooting of Gabby Giffords?

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Or the multiple threats and attempts against the President and unnumbered Democratic politicians. Anyone remember who the pusbag was who "joked" about drawing a sight right between Nancy Pelosi's big brown eyes?

donner_froh August 2, 2011 at 5:58 pm

But think about this for a second.

OK, I thought about it. You are an asshole, Jonah Goldberg.

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 6:10 pm

I get a feeling a LOT of assholes are going to be complaining to you about your associating them with Lardboy Doughpants up there.

nappyduggs August 2, 2011 at 6:55 pm

He really gave you 9,999,999 nanoseconds to play with on that one.

nappyduggs August 2, 2011 at 6:57 pm

He really gave you 999, 999,999 nanoseconds to play with on that one. Or something.

jus_wonderin August 2, 2011 at 5:58 pm

Jonah Goldberg? By gum, I had that once. Let me tell you, it is fuckin' hard to get rid of. Flares up now and again. Mostly when I am on a trip to Jupiter. I guess I have to live with it.

donner_froh August 2, 2011 at 6:01 pm

Trip to Jupiter? Goldberg is more interested in Uranus.

ProudLibunatic August 2, 2011 at 10:26 pm

Sorry to hear it, JW. I had a case of Lucianne once, but I've heard that Jonah REALLY sucks!

MinAgain August 2, 2011 at 5:59 pm

Just how small is his dick?

Atlas Frooged August 2, 2011 at 6:04 pm

Based on the picture alone, pretty small. From the article, it must be microscopic (AKA microscoprick).

Beowoof August 2, 2011 at 6:04 pm

Based upon his comments I would say he is a needle dick bug fucker.

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 6:10 pm

> < that small.

Callyson August 2, 2011 at 6:29 pm

I don't know, but I'd bet the rent money that I've had pimples that were bigger…
(Yes, the teen years were rough…)

An_Outhouse August 2, 2011 at 6:38 pm

T.

MissTaken August 2, 2011 at 6:40 pm

t.

Radiotherapy® August 2, 2011 at 7:28 pm

.

smokefilleddoommate August 2, 2011 at 7:50 pm

So small it's inverted.

Barrelhse August 2, 2011 at 6:49 pm

He squats to pee, if that's any indication.

bflrtsplk August 2, 2011 at 7:05 pm

And shits out his mouth.

Swampgas_Man August 2, 2011 at 7:21 pm

Hard to tell, since his Jabba the Gut covers it like an apron.

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 11:57 pm

I thought that qualified as a gock.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 2, 2011 at 8:23 pm

Hitler?

RavenRant August 2, 2011 at 9:10 pm

Apparently you missed the comment of the day. It's "baby corn sized." But only with his mightiest erection.

tessiee August 3, 2011 at 1:30 am

All of them?

MissTaken August 2, 2011 at 6:01 pm

Gawd you libruls! Always with the "oh poor Gabby got shot in the head", "oh, look at Gabby hugging people and smiling, how cool is that?", "oh look, Gabby can walk far enough on her own to vote while that Jonah Goldberg is such a fat fuck that he can't even hold his fupa up long enough to stick his shrunken dick into K-Lo anymore".

Fucking librul bias!

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 6:11 pm

Upfisted for teh fupa.

Doktor Zoom August 2, 2011 at 7:14 pm

As usual when I go to Urban Dictionary, I learned a word I didn't know. And now I wish I still didn't know it.

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Everytime I come to Teh Wonkettez, I learn something I wish I could erase from my brain with a scrubbing brush and bleach.

RavenRant August 2, 2011 at 10:02 pm

Part of the roller coaster ride of excitement that is Wonkette.

Fare la Volpe August 2, 2011 at 8:12 pm

You are on fire tonight, my dear.

KenLayIsAlive August 2, 2011 at 9:44 pm

"oh look, Gabby can walk far enough on her own to vote while that Jonah Goldberg is such a fat fuck that he can't even hold his fupa up long enough to stick his shrunken dick into K-Lo anymore"

total win

ManchuCandidate August 2, 2011 at 6:03 pm

I dunno… what do you call holding the world economize hostage for your petty stupid ideas?

Swampgas_Man August 2, 2011 at 7:22 pm

The Vision of the Founding Fathers!

inapewetrust August 2, 2011 at 6:04 pm

ugh, he's so very dumb and he has a cushy sinecure. meritocracy!

ManchuCandidate August 2, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Momicracy! Mommie got him the gig.

V572 Hair of Destiny August 2, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Lucianne had to trade Monica Lewinsky's jism-stained blue dress, but it was worth it. A momma's got to take care of her boys.

bflrtsplk August 2, 2011 at 7:06 pm

It did get him out of the house.

metamarcisf August 2, 2011 at 6:04 pm

Headline of the day (Foxnews):

"Swedish Man Builds Nuclear Reactor in His Kitchen"

genxr August 2, 2011 at 6:34 pm

And the fucking liberal police state shut it down. No wonder we have an energy crisis!

DahBoner August 2, 2011 at 7:22 pm

"Swedish Man Christian Terrorist Builds Nuclear Reactor in His Kitchen"

Jukesgrrl August 3, 2011 at 7:37 pm

Christians can't be terrists!!!1! Only muslins like Omaba cn B a terrist++

Limeylizzie August 2, 2011 at 8:18 pm

Also good, on Yahoo News…

Western press largely overlooks heroism of lesbian couple in Norway massacre

Jukesgrrl August 3, 2011 at 7:38 pm

I read that when I used my Yahoo E-mail — and hadn't heard about it from any other source. Blessings on them for their quick action and bravery.

KenLayIsAlive August 2, 2011 at 9:45 pm

This is good news for the writers of the Patriot Act part Two.

horsedreamer_1 August 3, 2011 at 10:32 am

You mean, a microwave?

johnnyzhivago August 2, 2011 at 6:04 pm

Just saying here…. these Jonas brothers have really let themselves go….

SexySmurf August 2, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Much like the Jonas Brothers, Jonah Goldberg practices abstinence. Unlike the Jonas Brothers, it's not by choice.

LetUsBray August 2, 2011 at 6:53 pm

To paraphrase Marge Simpson, some people choose a life of celibacy, and some have celibacy thrust upon them. That pic makes it pretty obvious which category Goldberg belly-flops into.

jus_wonderin August 2, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Fame. It's fame that does it.

tessiee August 3, 2011 at 1:32 am

"these Jonas brothers have really let themselves go…. "

Yeah, and how did all three of them merge?

BlueStateLibel August 2, 2011 at 6:04 pm

"Wa wa wa wa, saruh palin, wa wa wah" –Joanie Goldberg

smokefilleddoommate August 2, 2011 at 6:30 pm

*splurt*

tessiee August 3, 2011 at 1:02 am

Now THERE's a mental picture I coulda done without!

Callyson August 2, 2011 at 6:05 pm

Tom Friedman — who knows a bit about Hezbollah — calls the tea partiers the “Hezbollah faction” of the GOP bent on taking the country on a “suicide mission.”
Let's see, who has more credibility on terrorism…someone who has been reporting on the Middle East for decades…or a National Review blowhard?
Well, go to Hell. All of you.
Since this country is already well on its way there, thanks to the Tea Party, I take it you'll be emigrating soon? That's the best news I've heard in a while…

Atlas Frooged August 2, 2011 at 6:27 pm

Please don't make us choose between goat boy and Tom Friedman. It's a Sophie's choice where no answer is correct.

V572 Hair of Destiny August 2, 2011 at 6:41 pm

The Mustache of Understanding knows whereof he speaks.

zhubajie August 2, 2011 at 7:11 pm

I beg to differ!

V572 Hair of Destiny August 2, 2011 at 7:15 pm
PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 6:05 pm

"[...] K-Lo’s apartment is always open if he needs a little comfort." K-Lo doesn't deal in "little" doses of anything. Besides, between the two of them, one would need large quantities of absorbent towelage to mop up all the fat-generated flopsweat.

Beowoof August 2, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Wow, I wouldn't go to K–Lo's place unless I wanted to be scared some more.

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 6:23 pm

Oh, like Jonah has a choice if he ever wants Li'l Jonah to have some happysexyfuntime.

smokefilleddoommate August 2, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Imagine their little fat retarded babies..

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 7:37 pm

Jebus! No, please!

Limeylizzie August 2, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Ewwww.

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 6:24 pm

Sorry 'bout that, darlin'. Didn't mean to engage your gag reflex.

MissusBarry August 2, 2011 at 6:53 pm

You're not the first commenter in this post to hit the quease-bottom, but you are the first to prompt me to post: SHAMWOW! (Also great for cleaning up after you bloody a bitch–win/win.)

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 7:08 pm

Hey — that'll come in REAL handy when I chain the rotting corpse of Lee Atwater to Karl Rove and beat them into a lardy, chunky bloody mess, as I had planned. Oops, did I hit the gag reflex again? Damn!

Salacious Crumb August 2, 2011 at 10:12 pm

I'd like to rechristen that the: SHAMEWOW!

MissTaken August 2, 2011 at 6:17 pm

OY! It's gonna take A LOT of Rachel tonight to unclench my legs from reading that!

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 6:25 pm

Wait'll you see Fukui_sanYesOta's description of Jonah's equivalent of wood.

MissusBarry August 2, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Yep, that also hit the quease-button.

Fukui_sanYesOta August 3, 2011 at 1:10 am

I actually had baby corn as part of my meal tonight and it turned my own stomach, so you're even.

Beowoof August 2, 2011 at 6:05 pm

You know some folks just look like assholes, and then they start talking and confirm it, Jonah that is you.

Goonemeritus August 2, 2011 at 6:06 pm

Like anyone would have to work overtime to find right wing examples of hate speech. Tune the radio to am spin the dial to any station and write down the first four sentences— done.

SmutBoffin August 2, 2011 at 6:08 pm

"…and if you watch closely*, you will see the wild wanker-pundit emerging from his burrow and flinging a noisome mixture of excrement, saliva, and MacBook fragments at the interloping libtardus mediatus. Truely, one of Nature's most revolting displays of unthinking, pointless aggression. The florid pundit now retreats to its nest, where it will masturbate voraciously for six more months."

*To be read in the voice of Sir Dave.

MissTaken August 2, 2011 at 6:15 pm

"Truely, one of Nature's most revolting displays of unthinking, pointless aggression"

Coincidentally, that's also the description of the K-Lo/J-Go sex tape

Fare la Volpe August 2, 2011 at 8:15 pm

This thought has destroyed sex for me forever.

user-of-owls August 2, 2011 at 6:54 pm

You know, on second thought, maybe it would be a good idea to get rid of the Endangered Species Act. Or at least put in a clause that designates one particular species as invasive and ineligible for protection.

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 7:44 pm

Did you know that male hippos court the females by spraying them with, um, poop? For some reason, the thought of Jonah Goldberg … oh, never mind.

tessiee August 3, 2011 at 1:35 am

If I'm remembering the article in "The Straight Dope" correctly, male hippos are able to spin their tails, thus creating a… poop copter… sort of phenomenon.

PristineODummy August 3, 2011 at 1:40 am

That's right. They start the ol' poop shoot, so to speak, and twirl the tail for maximum spread.Animal sex. They really know how to get the kink on. Without guilt.

Rotundo_ August 2, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Jonah, as someone who would be employed scrubbing shitter if it wasn't for your mom getting you a job I would think you would have the sense to just shut the fuck up about things like this, but once again, your true nature breaks free from its tethers and moorings and farts all over the place like a rapidly deflating balloon. Jonah, you were born an asshole, from the womb of an asshole, you will always be an asshole and you will forever be known as an asshole. Asshole is your legacy kid, and by god you have earned it again today. Oh, and FUCK YOU!

Atlas Frooged August 2, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Look mommy, I made doody with my typing!

Atlas Frooged August 2, 2011 at 6:10 pm

Sounds like an editorial that a thoughtful media outlet, let's say the supposedly liberal NYTs, ought to be writing about Tea Brainers. Only he swapped out Repube names for Dem because for one day those ratfucks didn't get 100% of their way or the media attention. Everyday I see parallels between these sociopaths and how my 8 yo tries to get his way. I can only conclude that their parents really fucked them up badly and we're all paying for it because therapy is for pinkos.

NowTheyTellMe August 2, 2011 at 6:10 pm

In fairness, this does balance his attack on Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, FOX News et al., when they said liberals were Nazis. So, you know, he sees the big picture.

Maman August 2, 2011 at 6:10 pm

Haha….Nothing funnier than the thought of an incurable neurodegenerative disorder Gold-douche.

weejee August 2, 2011 at 6:11 pm

a bout of St. Vitus’s dance

Is this douche still fighting the Chorean war? If so he just down a couple of jars of summer kim chee and the call his Dr. in the morning. Rand Paul, Marcus Bachmann, Mengle, Frankenstein, doesn't really matter.

tessiee August 3, 2011 at 1:00 am

"a bout of St. Vitus’s dance

Is this douche still fighting the Chorean war?"

A medical terminology pun???
*faints from awe*

MiniMencken August 2, 2011 at 6:13 pm

If Barry actually has any balls, he'll veto any bill containing any earmarks for any state that is a net user of Federal funds. Or, if he were me, he'd invoke the RICO Act and seize the assets of everyone connected to the Republican Party. That would wipe out the Federal debt in about two minutes.

WhatTheHeck August 2, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Jonah’s flag-pin is supposed to compensate for his lack of intellect.

MissTaken August 2, 2011 at 6:16 pm

That's a full-sized flag. It just looks tiny compared to him.

tessiee August 3, 2011 at 1:37 am

WIN!!

zhubajie August 2, 2011 at 7:20 pm

In general, pundits seem to be the dumbest people available.

mavenmaven August 2, 2011 at 6:16 pm

One can understand his pique. After all, look how many Republicans were shot recently by leftists.
oh, um…

Doktor Zoom August 2, 2011 at 7:12 pm

Hey, remember that Loughner was a leftist, because his Youtube profile said that one of his favorite books was the Communist Manifesto and he smoked pot.

RavenRant August 2, 2011 at 9:29 pm

First book on his list was "We the Living" by NRO's zombie pinup girl, Ayn Rand. Not one of those fine conservative journalists ever mentioned that fact.

Or that two of the people shot that day had been getting right wing death threats. The judge had to have a federal security detail for months for having committed the crime of treating Mexicans like humans in his courtroom.

GuanoFaucet August 2, 2011 at 6:16 pm

That is one dumb motherfucker. A whirling dervish of stupid, if you will.

user-of-owls August 2, 2011 at 6:57 pm

So in those "Your momma" jokes, are we going replace "is so fat" with "su-fi"?

JustPixelz August 2, 2011 at 6:17 pm

At least nothing like that kind of revolting outpouring of sympathy toward the victim happend when Ronald Reagan was shot. In Goldberg's view, Gifford's big mistake was being shot as a Democrat.

Come here a minute August 2, 2011 at 6:18 pm

This is like when some Fox wingnut said the News of the World phone hacking story was being overhyped because some banks got hacked.

Since Joe Biden said he felt terrorized, that's as bad as when Sarah felt accused of being a terrorist, only worse because he's a Democrat.

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 7:48 pm

Oh, are we playing PeteHoekstra? I'll play: Couldn't get tickets to Harry Potter. Now I know just how Jews felt under the Third Reich.

Jukesgrrl August 2, 2011 at 9:53 pm

Uh oh! Now Jonah's REALLY mad!

PristineODummy August 3, 2011 at 12:07 am

Hah! He can take it up with HypocritePete.

MiniMencken August 2, 2011 at 6:18 pm

This is just shame-based behavior caused by his feeling so bad about sinking the Titanic.

phlox✔ August 3, 2011 at 12:36 am

Goldberg/Iceberg. False Equivalency!

MiniMencken August 3, 2011 at 1:37 am

Try telling that to Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet!

tessiee August 3, 2011 at 1:38 am

Niiiiiice.

mrpuma2u August 2, 2011 at 6:20 pm

I guess this means he thinks that Gabby Gifford's reappearance in Congress was some kind of blood-wild-libel-herring to confuse gun loving Americans trying to defend their 2nd amendment rights whilst they are re-writing wikipedia entries to match what ever word pablum dribbled out of Sarah Palin's mouth. What a tool you are Jonah.

Lucidamente1 August 2, 2011 at 6:22 pm

Well, Jonah did write a book called "Liberal Fascism," so coherent thought is not exactly his thing.

elfgoldsackring August 2, 2011 at 6:25 pm

Well, to be fair (why?), 'terrorist' does equate in his mind with 'filthy godless towelhead', which is pretty goshdarn offensive.

genxr August 2, 2011 at 6:38 pm

The greatest terror they know, is the thought that someone is out there somewhere not being a white christian.

Jukesgrrl August 2, 2011 at 9:54 pm

In his defense, Gabby DID have her head wrapped in fabric for many months.

RavenRant August 2, 2011 at 9:58 pm

You make an excellent point. Upfist!

Texan_Bulldog August 2, 2011 at 6:26 pm

"…to “prove” that Republicans deliberately foment violence with their evil targets on their evil congressional maps."

I thought those were surveyor marks, Jonah. Oops!

He's awfully hard on the Dems when it was a famous Dem (Clinton) who enabled him to get a stinking job — thanks to his mom's blabbermouth. What a useless, talentless blob.

Fare la Volpe August 2, 2011 at 8:19 pm

What is this family history of Mr. Goldberg? I was but a wee pup during the Clinton years, and didn't pay much attention to nepotism going on in the editorial sections of major periodicals.

Texan_Bulldog August 2, 2011 at 8:25 pm

Do the Google on Lucianne Goldberg. She used to get portrayed by John Goodman on SNL & had the nerve to get her feelings hurt, never minding the fact that she did great harm to this country.

Fare la Volpe August 2, 2011 at 8:33 pm

I'm reading about her on The Wiki, and it definitely sounds like she's descended to Newt Gingrich levels of "contemptible" in her lifetime.

Texan_Bulldog August 2, 2011 at 8:36 pm

Yes, her and Newt hit their zenith about the same time (no, I'm not talking about orgasm).

RavenRant August 2, 2011 at 9:42 pm

Actually, that was Linda Tripp, Goldberg's protege.

But Lucianne has had quite a career. Taking bribes from the Nixon administration to plant false stories was but one highlight of her journalistic career.

Texan_Bulldog August 2, 2011 at 9:45 pm

Crap! You're right…that was quite a few drinks ago. Sorry, my bad!

rocktonsam August 2, 2011 at 6:27 pm

Gabby Goldberg?

BarackMyWorld August 2, 2011 at 6:28 pm

…Andrea Mitchell, devotes, by my rough reckoning, ten times as much air time to whining about Sarah Palin as she does about anything having to do with foreign affairs…

Jonah Goldberg's Rough Reckoning = More accurate than wikipedia, Dionne Warwick, and the Book of Revelations combined!

SpurningBeer August 2, 2011 at 6:41 pm

Kirsten, babydoll, are you serious about "BOTH SIDES" having a tone of hysteria "about nothing" interminably through the "debate"? Really?

"False equivalency" is the conventional term for this. I think that's too gentle.

Doktor Zoom August 2, 2011 at 6:53 pm

Psst…I think she was being "sarcastic."

SpurningBeer August 2, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Oh. "Sarcasm." Right.

V572 Hair of Destiny August 2, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Today we are all aggrieved, Palinating right-wing columnists, trying to piggyback on Gabby Giffords' recovery.

fuflans August 2, 2011 at 6:43 pm

this is a big fucking deal.

Tundra Grifter August 2, 2011 at 6:44 pm

"St. Vitus’s dance?" I never got invited to the St. Vitus's Dance.

But then I wasn't very popular in high school.

tessiee August 3, 2011 at 1:40 am

Also, you didn't go to Catholic school, so St. Vitus's Day wasn't an observed holiday.

Doktor Zoom August 2, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Tom Tomorrow summed it all up after the Giffords shooting: "Barring some seismic realignment in this country, the gun control debate is all but settled — and your side won. The occasional horrific civilian massacre is just the price the rest of us have to pay."

The same applies to the rhetoric about watering the Tree of Liberty with the blood of tyrants from time to time. So far, I haven't noticed may liberals acting on that one, either.

Radiotherapy® August 2, 2011 at 9:00 pm

Dag it Dok, Tom Tomorrow and Tom, the Dancing Bug were my sanity keepers before there was even Radiotherapy, that is to say pre-Wonkette. And the scary thing is how prescient those guys are.

Gleem_McShineys August 2, 2011 at 6:45 pm

I guess what he's saying is "All terrorists are hijackers, but not all hijackers are terrorists."

Or maybe it is "Sometimes, when a Teabagger loves his nation so very very much, he has to hold it for ransom."

Maybe "In order to make an omelette, you have to threaten the destruction of a few nations' economies"…?

Swampgas_Man August 2, 2011 at 7:29 pm

You may not be able to make an omelette w/out breaking eggs, but I've noticed you can break a helluva lot of eggs without making a decent omelette.

EatsBabyDingos August 2, 2011 at 6:48 pm

Douchenozzle douchenozzling.

mrpuma2u August 2, 2011 at 6:57 pm

You made me guffaw audibly, well played.

Wilcoxyz August 2, 2011 at 6:50 pm

When Dick Cheney shot his friend in the face, the gentleman promptly apologized to Cheney as soon as his face was healed enough to go in front of a camera.

Has Gabby even sent Sarah a card?

V572 Hair of Destiny August 2, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Harry Whittington was given a choice: sign a release and apologize for ruining Dick's shot, or die slowly in a pool of his own blood.

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 7:51 pm

See, sometimes you just have to put things in terms that people understand.

Doktor Zoom August 2, 2011 at 6:51 pm

But you know, the violent rhetoric is pretty much equal on both sides. I mean, just look at all the hits you get if you to a Google search for "conservative hunting license" bumper stickers.

SpurningBeer August 2, 2011 at 7:45 pm

And look at all the gun-toting open-carriers at the Wisconsin rallies.

El Pinche August 2, 2011 at 10:24 pm

I call those guys "pussies."

fuflans August 2, 2011 at 6:52 pm

to be fair, biden was being pretty mean.

unless of course he was speaking metaphorically about a group that is incapable of compromise, threatens mahem, won't listen to reason and insists on getting 100% of their own way.

then he was pretty fucking accurate.

EatsBabyDingos August 2, 2011 at 6:55 pm

New LSAT question:

Jonah is to logic as

A) Putting your head in his unflushed toilet after 2 for 1 McAnusburger night is to bobbing for apples.

B) ehhh who cares. His "logic" needs to be flushed, too.

SpurningBeer August 2, 2011 at 7:53 pm

Logical: Goldberg :: Nutritious :

a. corn syrup
b. gravel
c. thumbtacks
d. poison

emmelemm August 2, 2011 at 8:36 pm

I really didn't need that picture in my head. Thanks, though.

arcadesproject August 2, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Is there a high prize, like the Congressional Medal of Honor or the Nobel, for Nauseating Vulgarity? If so, may I nominate J-Gold?

Jukesgrrl August 3, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Yeah, I think it's that thing W. gave to George Tenet after he totally screwed up Iraq AND finished off the CIA (which was already pretty screwed up).

politics_nerd August 2, 2011 at 7:06 pm

To paraphrase Jeff Foxworthy…… (must I???)

Warpde August 2, 2011 at 7:17 pm

Um! excuse me (hand up).
Yeah, OK, here's my question.
Who the hell is Jonah Goldberg and should I care?
I really don't want to waste time getting up to speed on him if he is nothing more then another blithering idiot.

KenLayIsAlive August 2, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Ah, but he's a fat blithering idiot.

widget2011 August 3, 2011 at 7:39 am

And stupid.

102415 August 3, 2011 at 8:13 pm

And then there is his mother. Look it up.

DahBoner August 2, 2011 at 7:19 pm

"Touchy maggot sack Jonah Goldberg"

I can't stand him and his ass face.

Because he's Bastard people…

__kth__ August 2, 2011 at 7:24 pm

We really, really need those spectacles, Jonah, to start the fire.

Crank_Tango August 2, 2011 at 7:25 pm

sweat goatee bro, real sweet.

randomsausage August 2, 2011 at 7:27 pm

JOnah and the whale? Jonah is the fucking whale. Why don't go cry into your big girl's blouse you pansy-man…..I said something mean!!!

Steverino247 August 2, 2011 at 7:27 pm

You know who else should have been shot through the head?

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 7:52 pm

Lucianne?

Limeylizzie August 2, 2011 at 8:37 pm

It's times like this that I miss the Downfister, he would have been in a frenzy over your comment. Why are there no down thumbs anymore?

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 11:33 pm

True. Sigh.

SaneCatLady August 2, 2011 at 7:27 pm

That's odd. He was pretty funny in that "I'm not a Witch" parody thingy.
What happened?

DashboardBuddha August 2, 2011 at 7:27 pm

Mommy gets him a job and he's not very good at it so mommy probably has to help him keep his job. He writes ridiculous ramblings for the far right. Does this make him a man-child?

Fox n Fiends August 2, 2011 at 7:27 pm

BLOOD LIBEL!!!!

Salacious Crumb August 2, 2011 at 10:27 pm

BLOB LIBEL!!!!11!

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 11:34 pm

Oh, definitely.

widget2011 August 3, 2011 at 7:50 am

Do oil Bible?

SaneCatLady August 2, 2011 at 7:35 pm

That’s odd. He was pretty funny in that Christine O'Donnell "I'm not a Witch" parody thingy. What happened?

AlaskaGrrl August 2, 2011 at 7:38 pm

"Why Jonah Goldberg noticed this “today” is anyone’s guess, but K-Lo’s apartment is always open if he needs a little comfort."

Goldberg and K-Lo. Thanks, it'll be days getting THAT image out of my head.

Radiotherapy® August 2, 2011 at 7:40 pm

This is the same fuckwad who said:

the quintessential Liberal Fascist isn't an SS storm trooper; it is a female grade school teacher with an education degree from Brown or Swarthmore.

Nothing inflammatory or absurd there.

SpurningBeer August 2, 2011 at 10:58 pm

Speaking as a liberal fascist [see "mute chatterbox"] who went to Brown, I have to say that there is, in fact, something inflammatory and absurd in his statement. Female Brown or Swarthmore graduates do not become elementary school teachers.

Only male Brown or Swarthmore graduates do.

mumbly_joe August 3, 2011 at 8:25 am

Hahahaha, so upfisted, as a liberal fascist of the Mid-Atlantic persuasion, over here.

*also it's worth noting that our school's education department rather deliberately only offers minors and non-minor certifications (so as to oblige students to major in something like economics or physics or spanish, so that they knew the subject they planned to teach), so the phrase "an education degree from Swarthmore" is actually just about as cogent as "liberal fascist".

Quayle2012_KNOT August 2, 2011 at 7:42 pm

Jonah's one of those people you just don't know whether they're being a total asshole to get attention or doing it out of conviction.

Radiotherapy® August 2, 2011 at 8:11 pm

Either way, he is a worthless sack of shit.

102415 August 3, 2011 at 8:17 pm

It's the only way he can earn any money. Hard times! Look, his brother can barely make it as a some time fish monger on the Upper Westside.

snoopyfan2010 August 2, 2011 at 7:50 pm

This should make you wonder in America 2011.
http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2011/08/02/20

finallyhappy August 2, 2011 at 8:26 pm

The church never paid attention to the molester priests so I am not surprised if we find out they haven't paid attention to the bigots among them

widget2011 August 2, 2011 at 10:12 pm

Good to know the Nazi "rat lines" still exist!

elfgoldsackring August 2, 2011 at 7:54 pm

You know how you give the 3 year old a token gift so he doesn't feel left out and ruin the 5 year old's birthday party? Somewhere deep inside this grotesque land-whale is that 3 year old.

bflrtsplk August 2, 2011 at 7:59 pm

How does Madame Goldberg let her son walk around like that? He looks like he's got a snoot full of something in that photo.

Limeylizzie August 2, 2011 at 8:38 pm
V572 Hair of Destiny August 2, 2011 at 9:09 pm

Ah, the excuse I was looking for: it's a three-Martini dinner tonight!

Limeylizzie August 2, 2011 at 9:11 pm

Delighted to be of service.

V572 Hair of Destiny August 2, 2011 at 9:19 pm

Just noticed the new kitteh-based avatar. Very nice!

RavenRant August 2, 2011 at 9:38 pm

But "both sides do it." Oh, wait. No, they totally don't.

ttommyunger August 2, 2011 at 8:42 pm

Well, if you think Jonah is a fetid cunt, you ought to see his mother. One whiff of her would knock a Buzzard off a gut-wagon.

V572 Hair of Destiny August 2, 2011 at 9:07 pm

Man I love those barnyard (slaughterhouse?) metaphors.

ttommyunger August 2, 2011 at 10:02 pm

Lucianne is a real piece of work. If she fell down, they would have to slide her over a manhole to get her on her feet again.

Radiotherapy® August 3, 2011 at 12:47 am

Good god, tt, you're right, that E. Coli stool didn't drop far from the herpetic rectum. I can see why she was friends with Linda Tripp. And so much for that pathetic talking point that we despise right wing womenz because they is hot.

ttommyunger August 3, 2011 at 10:34 am

Thank you, thank you very much!

Sharkey August 2, 2011 at 9:05 pm

The Wonkette is strong in her recent postings.

whiterabid August 2, 2011 at 9:13 pm

And I thought Liberal Fascism was nothing more than verbal vomit. And now this meathead,

Wait, it this Jonah Goldberg related to the other Jonah Goldberg? I really hate this internets stuff.

RavenRant August 2, 2011 at 9:20 pm

Sorry, Ms. KBJ, got to take you to task for the "both sides" bullshit. Both sides do NOT incite violence in an endless loop of hatred. Both sides do NOT express a yearning to secede from the union while simultaneously claiming that they are the only real patriots, and their opponents are traitors. Both sides do NOT muse about how mass murderers make 'really valid points' in their psychotic, racist, misogynistic manifestos.

And every time the "both sides" bullshit is regurgitated, the blatant threats of violence on the right are normalized a little more.

RavenRant August 2, 2011 at 9:35 pm

Can you imagine how sick and soulless a person would have to be to be so resentful and outraged by sight of Gabby Giffords' recovery and her welcome by her colleagues?

What did she do to get all that applause? All she is is a walking, talking miracle. Bitch.

kateinmt August 2, 2011 at 9:55 pm

Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ – I really, really, REALLY try not to let a person's appearance affect my opinion, however…I sometimes willingly dive right in. Like now. This man looks like the poster child for ugly and dumb. It makes me wonder if his bastardized version of facts and logic are a result of the torment he suffered as an ugly child or his ugliness is a result of his feeble, infected mind.

widget2011 August 3, 2011 at 7:55 am

Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ. That I would pay to see.

mumbly_joe August 2, 2011 at 9:56 pm

Meanwhile, ol' Pammy Gellar said just the other day that of course those Norwegian kids deserved to be murdered by Anders Breviek-who she's totally not responsible for, by the way- look how brown some of them looked!

But never mind stuff like that too: BOTH SIDES DO ITBOTHSIDESDOITBOTHSIDESDOIT

MiniMencken August 3, 2011 at 1:56 am

This Fräulein Gellar should the Rassenpolitisches Amt director of be made! She has such a keen instinct for racial impurity spotting!

mumbly_joe August 3, 2011 at 8:47 am

(Part 1)
You know, this is the thing that actually gets me about Pammy and others. What exactly do they see as the endgame, of spurring people like Breviek into anti-Muslim genocide?

Let's look briefly at Breviek's beliefs: he's a Christian supremacist white nationalist; his manifesto doesn't even include the normal "judeo-" hedging that American Chrstian supremacists do. He's obsessed with "Cultural Marxism", an antisemitic conspiracy theory and sister-libel to Jewish Bolshevism. He fetishizes the Crusades and Inquisition, neither of which were terribly kind to jews. And several of the groups on his contact list, that he sent his manifesto to, are explicitly Neo-Nazi groups- Combat 18, for example, takes its name from Hitler's initials.

mumbly_joe August 3, 2011 at 8:49 am

(Part deux)
Point being, there seems to be a belief that this detante born out of anti-muslim bigotry would actually hold, if the Anders Brevieks or Gert Wilderses of the world came into power. I've seen people go so far as to say that because Norway "hates Israel" (because they support Palestinian statehood) Breviek is a Norwegien John Brown. And the question is, can they really not divine that to people like Anders Breviek, Jews in Europe are every bit the "non-Christian" element in need of purging that Muslims are? I mean goodness, Pammy is more brown than even the brownest of those Norweigian kids. Does she seriously not see that?

widget2011 August 2, 2011 at 10:06 pm

Would Keith Olbermann explode like a mouse subjected to the Ramone’s music in Rock and Roll High School? Something inside me hidden away shouts, “Hell yes they would!”

It must be the severly repressed homosexual inside of you screaming to get out Jonah! Methinks you have fantasies about Dick Cheney giving you a "reach-around" while he's pounding you in the ass. You are a douche-faucet, who writes childish garbage, for a neo-Nazi rag, and a world class asshat.

Limeylizzie August 2, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Good gracious Pat Buchanan is feeling his oats tonight, have you seen this? Calling the President "Boy" to the Rev Al.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/43994621#

Fukui_sanYesOta August 2, 2011 at 10:53 pm

Gosh, and repeatedly so. Hang on though, a serious political show with the Rev Al and Pat Buchanan? I had no idea such a thing existed.

AJWjr. August 2, 2011 at 11:22 pm

I have put each and every host on MSNBC on notice–whenever they trot out one of the network's paid right-wing contributors, I turn off the TV. Or worse, switch to CNN. Sadly, I've never watched more CNN in my entire life.

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 11:52 pm

That was great. The Rev. Al kicked Pat's ass nine ways to Sunday. "He's not "my boy," he's your President." Although the best line had to be after Boehner bragged about getting 98% of what he wanted and Rev. Al pointed out to Buchanan that he was getting the biggest cuts to the defense budget ever, a two-year moratorium on the debt fight, a conflict of interest between the business wing (tax cuts) and the redneck wing (military spending) guaranteed, and topped it off with, "I thought you guys didn't want any of that stuff." Priceless.

Limeylizzie August 3, 2011 at 12:00 am

I absolutely love the Rev, he kicks ass and is so solid on Barry that I feel guilty that I have lost some of the faith.

PristineODummy August 3, 2011 at 12:17 am

We've been through a lot lately with all the hysteria. I think everyone's faith in everything was a bit shaken. I've been questioning gravity myself, but not enough to test it.

Limeylizzie August 3, 2011 at 12:25 am

It just makes me sad, I truly think he is a good man and all the left-wing railing at him for being a Republican is nuts, I was a Communist in University and pretty much a Socialist/Labour gal while in the UK and Barry was the first American politician that I felt came even close to having some of those values and I truly have begun to hate the American system of Government which seems designed to make Presidents fail or compromise their beliefs. The racism is a new and interesting quirk, also.

Troglodeity August 2, 2011 at 10:58 pm

"Think about this for a second." Jonah obviously did. Maybe even two or three.

lulzmonger August 3, 2011 at 12:30 am

With all due respect to "Super-Sized" Americans, this calls for drastic action!

MAN THE HARPOONS.

owhatever August 3, 2011 at 12:37 am

Palin put target on Gifford. Gabbi got shot. How hard is that for the rightwingnuts to understand?

102415 August 3, 2011 at 8:50 pm

They don't care. They like to shoot. Even the lamest loves to fantasize about it. Go over to Breitbart for five minutes. No don't it's too sick.

tessiee August 3, 2011 at 12:59 am

Mr. Goldberg really should talk to his colorist about dyeing his hair a more flattering shade. That jet black color looks harsh and artificial; you really have to be Elvis or Keith Richards to pull it off.

tessiee August 3, 2011 at 1:09 am

Oh, and I'd never heard of, much less seen, Jonah Goldberg until five minutes ago, but now?
Fuck you, Jonah Goldberg.
I love chubby nerds with glasses.
Fully 75% of my gentleman admirers are chubby nerds with glasses.
Fuck off, Jonah Goldberg. You just drove my girl boner into the ground.

miked420 August 3, 2011 at 2:29 am

I love kirsten boyd johnson

pbaseoul August 3, 2011 at 3:30 am

I want to thank all the commenters above for reaffirming my decision to never, ever align myself with the left. Almost 300 comments, and not a single one with a substantive point. A string of insults, juvenile name-calling, straw men, scurrilous attacks, and lame jokes. I have to go shower now, but again–thank you.

Negropolis August 3, 2011 at 3:49 am

Ah, yes, this old meme: "Sarah Palin is the real victim of the Giffords shooting."

Die, already.

BTW, if the Republicans don't want to be called terrorists, stop acting like terrorists.

timbo71351 August 3, 2011 at 8:57 am

You know Jonah's body looks like it was molded out of Spam. I'm certain the moment he leaves the house, his wife starts screwing anything with a penis.

HollidayB August 4, 2011 at 11:12 am

or a vagina…

timbo71351 August 4, 2011 at 11:15 am

Touche

franco_pinyon August 3, 2011 at 11:04 am

Please tell me that you guys Photoshopped a wig on that guy's picture and that is NOT how he is intentioanlly trying to look.

Jukesgrrl August 3, 2011 at 7:54 pm

It's intentional. But remember, his mother is the abominable-in-word-and-deed Lucianne Goldberg. He never stood a chance of being normal. Not that that should be used as an excuse for his hate-rants, though. It's one thing to be ugly in the face, it's another thing to be ugly in the heart.

Billmatic August 3, 2011 at 1:30 pm

imagine if this was Dick Cheney calling the Progressive Caucus (or whatever they’re called) a “bunch of terrorists” on the day Giffords returned to the Congress. Would the mainstream media notice or care?

I thought that was their main talking point against liberals. Not so far as terrorists themselves, but unamerican terrorist sympathizers that want us to fail. And nobody cared, in fact the mainstream media would then turn that question to a Democrat, "In five seconds, Mr. Frank, are you a terrorist sympathizer that hates America and wants us to fail? What about sharia law? You like that too right?"

These people have no shame.

Quayle2012_KNOT August 3, 2011 at 8:25 pm

"Liberal Fascism" is a declaration that Jonah is willing to divorce himself from morality, piss on academic integrity, and cause serious pain to people whose families were caught up in the Holocaust to advance his career. He has ceased to be amusing.

OhNoGuy August 3, 2011 at 9:14 pm

Hope this ain't a dupe but did anyone tell him not to dye his hair with Shineola?

HollidayB August 4, 2011 at 11:11 am

He and Flallin' Palin have the same hair dresser no? Have either one of them apologized to Gabby Giffords? The teabaggers ARE terrorists… they simply are.

mrpuma2u August 2, 2011 at 6:54 pm

There was the Reagan from the first 4 years WITHOUT Alzheimers, and then the "who are you people and where am I?" Reagan in the last 4 when Nancy and her astrologer were actually running things. 'member?

MissusBarry August 2, 2011 at 7:29 pm

Nope, that doesn't bother me in the slightest.

user-of-owls August 2, 2011 at 8:19 pm

**cough, cough, famine, cough**

OneDollarJuana August 2, 2011 at 9:21 pm

I remember. The first Reagan was the Reagan who, as governor of California, fucked it over royally, and it still hasn't recovered.

OneDollarJuana August 2, 2011 at 9:23 pm

It's why they invented micrometers.

RavenRant August 2, 2011 at 9:55 pm

No problem. Lucianne is far more despicable than Linda, though. I don't know how these people show their faces in public.

She must be so proud of the grotesque lump she whelped, doncha think?

BerkeleyBear August 2, 2011 at 10:00 pm

Forced movement, entailment, resettling of hostile people on your land. Some say brown, some say red, some say tan (or whatever shade Palestinians are considered) – but yeah, the Irish Catholics are pretty much England's irritating aborigines – with the Scots Irish a close second.

Fukui_sanYesOta August 2, 2011 at 10:39 pm

It's like a double major in Edumacation and Gross-out. Totally awesome.

PristineODummy August 2, 2011 at 11:57 pm

Not that I'm complaining, or anything.

RavenRant August 2, 2011 at 10:58 pm

Builds character.

PristineODummy August 3, 2011 at 12:45 am

I agree. Even cynical Matt Taibbi walked away from an interview thinking that he was a genuinely good man. And I don't expect him to do what I want because I know I'm far to the left of him, but I like his pragmatism and his unflagging efforts to make things better.Here. I got you something to make you feel a little better: <a href="http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/08/02/1002524/-Why-I-am-not-disillusioned-with-Barack-Obamahttp://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/08/02/1002524/… />I agree with pretty much everything the writer says, because I learned, after many years of working on political issues, that it's more important to achieve the goals than to look ideologically pure or brilliant or snarky. Sometimes that means you have to dine with the devil and agree to things you don't want or like. As long as it advances the goal.

widget2011 August 3, 2011 at 5:22 am

You are indeed correct, however, I'm a southpaw that doesn't rail against him, I think Obama is a good man, trying to do the right thing after inheriting a train wreck that GWB left him with. On your other point, racism is indeed alive & well in the US, I see it every day at work, and not just from old coots either, sadly "Bumpkin America" still teaches their kids to be racist, it can also be closely identified with country music, which I Hate.

Excuse my run-on sentences.

Limeylizzie August 3, 2011 at 12:52 am

Oh, that is a terrific piece, I am sending it out to all my friends who are whining!

Radiotherapy® August 3, 2011 at 1:05 am

At least he didn't call the President a tar baby.
You see, the "t" word is much more inflammatory than calling the president a racial slur. Joe Biden calls the T'baggers the "t" word and it's so offensive. To these fucknuts, the "t" word is so scary. Ooh, "terrorists". Like, "commies" in the 50's. Or "liberals" now. The lens at which they look at the world and the warped language they use is simply pathetic.

102415 August 3, 2011 at 8:47 pm

That was great thanks.

PristineODummy August 3, 2011 at 1:07 am

One more, just because you were so nice as to share Neville with me when I really needed a dose of big fat ginger tomcat: <a href="http://vichydems.blogspot.com/2011/08/democrats-powerful-negotiating.htmlhttp://vichydems.blogspot.com/2011/08/democrats-p… />This analysis looks at current tax law and various possible scenarios. I don't agree with much of what the writer says, but it bears thinking about nevertheless.

Limeylizzie August 3, 2011 at 1:13 am

He's just big-boned but thanks for the morale-boost!

PristineODummy August 3, 2011 at 1:23 am

Quite honestly, I'm sure the minute he's alone, or has a “safe” audience, he calls the President a LOT worse. Ever since the man stepped into that office the barrage of racism, hatred, threats of violence, nasty comments, attacks on his family, his sexuality, his personal life, his private business, even his dead mother! have come nonstop from the worst elements of the RWNJs. When I read people on freep saying that they want to rape his daughters in front of him before murdering them and his wife, I'm sickened. I can't imagine what this man has done, other than be born half-black, to invite such language. And the same people who make these terroristic threats — I can't imagine what else to call them — trot out the hypocritical false outrage when the VP purportedly calls them what they are. The height of chutzpah.

PristineODummy August 3, 2011 at 1:25 am

That's what Zingiber said too. I don't trust them further than they can throw me.

snoopyfan2010 August 3, 2011 at 6:37 am

Yes, all that except being bought and sold like animals. But that only applies to specific groups of "browns" so I guess you're right. Anyway, I was referring to the present not the past.

BerkeleyBear August 3, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Check what I said – not a comparison to slavery, but the way natives were treated all over the world.

And if you think it was in the distant past, I've got some Ulstermen you should talk to. They had a nice run with the Celtic Tiger economy for a while, but that's now in the shitter, and they are back to exporting their youth abroad to look for work.

snoopyfan2010 August 4, 2011 at 8:45 am

I get your point. From now on my posts are going to stick to one theme…."Obama is a twinkie".

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