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Parents Forced To Collect Drunk Ohio GOP State Senator Son From Party

AND ON THE “LIGHTER SIDE!” As we mentioned last week, Ohio State Senator Jarrod Martin was charged with drunk driving and child endangerment, just another “normal week” for Ohio’s legislative body, at this point. But also fun! Martin is predictably no stranger to idiot middle-of-the-night run-ins with police. There is a litany of dumb facts about Martin’s drunken antics here, but our favorite is the one where his parents were forced to pick up Martin and his friends from a (probably nude gay wrestling) party in the middle of the night:

On May 16, 2010, the night manager at the Residence Inn in Beavercreek called police about guests yelling and fighting on the fifth floor at 4:30 a.m. Officers found Martin and six other men “highly intoxicated” at a bachelor party. The men said they weren’t fighting; just having a “friendly wrestling match in their hotel room,” a Beavercreek police report said.

Martin’s parents were called to pick up the men and their belongings, according to the police report. Police noted that the room was tidied up and not damaged.

[Dayton Daily News]

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  1. Barb

    They were men who were wrestling in a "tidy" room? Was a Bette Midler concert DVD playing on the TV?

    1. Mahousu

      Jarrod's penchant for shirtlessness makes it more likely it was 300 that was playing. The police thought the room was "tidy" as the furniture looked freshly oiled.

      I also suspect the "wrestling" involved moves not sanctioned by the NCAA. Or, for that matter, WWE. Or possibly even by NAMBLA.

    2. PrimlyStable

      Maybe Ken Russell's adaptation of Women In Love, specifically the bit with Oliver Reed and Alan Bates in front of the fire.

    3. NotYerGaryBusey

      "Residence Inn: Where Santorum on the walls is a'ight with us!"
      Isn't this the chain where the logo looks like a silhouette of a nice and neat steaming pile?

  2. Goonemeritus

    Yes and why would you assume that the wearing of ass chaps makes it a gay wrestling match?

  3. PrimlyStable

    I think it's worth underlining the fact that Martin was 31 years old when his parents were called to collect him from a party where he'd got a bit overexcited.

    That last happened to me when I was about eight.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      At this rate, by the time he's crippled by fat and confined to a scooter, he'll be roughly as mature as 17-year-old. In other words, teabagger material.

  4. OurHoboSenator

    Friendly wrestling in Beavercreek. I think I saw that on the internet (for research purposes) once.

    I still like that he was found in the Riffe Center garage passed out on Bill Batchelder's car. Because any excuse to link to a picture of Bill Batchelder is welcome.

    1. PristineODummy


      Don't you think you should include a CAUTIONMAYNEEDGALLONSOFEYEBLEACH warning heah?

    2. tcaalaw

      How did Charles Nelson Riley get elected to the Ohio state legislature let alone as Speaker of the House?

    3. prommie

      Holy Shit what a screaming gay queen of gay gayness with gay on top and a side of homo! He's gay enough to marry Liza!

  5. PuckStopsHere

    Was it Spartan wrestling (i.e., naked?). Were they oiled up? Was there a gladiator movie on the TV? Did they say they liked to hang around gymnasiums…

  6. NorthStarSpanx

    Sounds an awful lot like Rep. Eric Massa's tickle fights with his unwilling staff/roommates.

    “Now they are saying I groped a male staffer,’’ he told Mr. Beck. “Yeah I did. Not only did I grope him. I tickled him until he couldn’t breathe and then four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday. It was kill the old guy. You can take anything out of context.’’

    1. MissTaken

      I love a wonkette comment that is purely an actual quote from a dumbass. Truly American Exceptionalism.

    2. poncho_pilot

      yes, son
      i want to kill you.
      i want to fuck father."

      something like that.

  7. nappyduggs

    "Police noted that the room was tidied up and not damaged."
    Yet the smell of balls, Jagermeister, and frustration lingers on to this day.

  8. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So, were his parents more alarm that he was drunk, or apparently very, very gay.

  9. Callyson

    (Martin) was found passed out in a downtown Columbus parking garage, according to police records.
    The Ohio Highway Patrol found Martin, R-Beavercreek, at 1:05 a.m. on March 24, 2010 slumped over a Chevy Suburban that belonged to state Rep. William Batchelder, R-Medina, who left his car in the garage overnight. Batchelder is now the Speaker of the House.
    Medics were called after a state trooper tried unsuccessfully for 20 minutes to wake Martin, according to the patrol’s log.
    At 3:22 a.m., long-time lawmaker Rep. Ron Amstutz, R-Wooster, called the patrol and arranged for House Republican campaign director Mike Dittoe to pick up Martin. It is unclear why Amstutz was called. Amstutz did not return messages on Friday.
    Just out of curiosity, are there any Ohio Republican legislators who are *not* overgrown frat boy closet cases?

    1. comrad_darkness

      >Medics were called after a state trooper tried unsuccessfully for 20 minutes to wake Martin, according to the patrol’s log.
      20 minutes??

      Officer's unofficial log:
      1:04am Found passed out man on hood of suburban.
      1:05am Unable to rouse man.
      1:10amTook man's wallet to check id.
      1:10am Went to Dunkin for a cuppa and a half dozen donut holes.
      1:25am Returned to scene. Man still unconscious.

  10. MissusBarry

    This fucking kid has a bright future in rethug politics. Drunken boy on boy antics and three kids at age 32.

  11. MinAgain

    friendly wrestling match in their hotel room

    See, I remember when this kind of thing was called an "orgy".

    Good times, good times.

  12. Tommmcatt

    his parents were forced to pick up Martin and his friends from a (probably nude gay wrestling) party

    There are very high standards for random male-male group sex. No pumpkin-headed, moobed freak like that would get invited to one of my orgies, thank you very much.

    1. prommie

      Yeah, but you are one of those high-falutin cultural elite coastal homos, these flyover bears must have lower standards; they would have to, I'd think. You notice it said they left the room "tidy" and "neat?" That sets the gaydar off.

    1. PristineODummy

      Not for him, hon. There's not a man worth looking at that would dip his dick in *that.*

  13. Radiotherapy®

    OK, he gets caught drunk driving topless, is 31 yo and his parents pick him up from a gay wrestling party. Police noted that the room was tidied up, he looks like this and his name is Jar Rod.
    Move along people, nothing to look at here.

    1. PristineODummy

      And he's found passed out on the car of the GAYEST of the gay politicians EVAH, Bill Bachelder. Holy geez.

    2. horsedreamer_1

      He will be seen on Mad Men, season 5, as the closetted new hire at Sterling Cooper Draper Price. Peggy will be first to find out his secret when she seems him leaving a masseur's in the West Village.

  14. mavenmaven

    They were, you know, nudge nudge, wink wink, "alleviating the debt" and "enhancing small government" and "dealing with waste", you know what I mean, all appropriate naked drunk GOP activities.

  15. x111e7thst

    I had the misfortune to stumble across JarRod's picture. All I could think is that I would be reluctant to leave this guy alone with a dog I didn't particularly like.

      1. PristineODummy

        Hey, Eric Cantor's one of the Young Republicans of the House, and he's 50! Republicans — or perhaps the teabaggage strain — mature late.

  16. chascates

    The Rightwing always boisterously debates the sanctity of marriage and the reverence for women at bachelor parties. And the infallible ability of the free market to self-regulate and the attributes of offshore labor are often cause for hilarity at cocktail bars and moderately-priced strip clubs.

    And probably as often in the nude and drinking a pint of cheap scotch.

  17. ttommyunger

    Mike Huckabee and his criminal offspring are heaving a sigh of relief. This puts the spotlight somewhere else for a change.

    1. prommie

      We called it "corn-holing." I am amazed when I see "corn hole" games openly advertised for sale these days.

    1. poncho_pilot

      shooting each other in the face and something about ringing balls. there was no horse but there was a bit and a saddle.

  18. Negropolis

    Ohio is for lovers. Dayton used to produce things like the Wright Brothers and bicycles and airplanes. Now all that it produces is crippling depression and stupidity.

    Not this guy, again. Not the one with no eyebrows, and a head shaped like a big, stupid breadbox.

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