Guess who wins politically, in this pathetic “debt showdown” thing in Washington? Nobody in Washington, that’s for sure! More than three-quarters of Americans polled about the budget battles and threatened government shutdown used “negative words” including disgusting, ridiculous, stupid, childish, joke and sucks to describe the idiocy. A lot of people also said something the Washington Post spells as “bull____,” and we can’t figure out what it means. Bullwinkle? Probably. Meanwhile, let’s all congratulate Ronald Reagan Junior Barack Obama for further pissing off a percentage of people equal to those pissed off by the Tea Party Fanatics during this long national nightmare.
Both Obama the Halfling and the Tea Party Trolls took 37% hit point damage — and not from the same voters, obviously. Everybody loses, though, and that’s what’s important. Now, with the proof of this survey, Americans are legally allowed to fatally boil everyone in the White House and Congress. Everyone! It’s in Article something-something, Section XXX: “When vacancies happen in the Representation from any State or in the Executive Branch, due to Boiling by the Citizenry, the Provisional Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Chaos to fill such Vacancies with Shadow Puppets and Machine Elves.”
Really, it’s a very bad review of Our Guvmint ‘n Action:
Americans give overwhelmingly negative reviews to the fierce budget debate that has transfixed Washington over the past few weeks, and large numbers now think less favorably about the country’s political leaders, according to a new poll by the Washington Post and the Pew Research Center.
Asked for single-word characterizations of the budget negotiations, the top words in the poll — conducted in the days before an apparent deal was struck — were “ridiculous,” “disgusting” and “stupid.” Overall, nearly three-quarters of Americans offered a negative word; just 2 percent had anything nice to say.
“Ridiculous” was the most frequently mentioned word among Democrats, Republicans and independents alike.
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Somebody's been reading their Fiend Folio and Monster Manual.
RIP Gary Gygax!!
As TJ once said, the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and treants.
+10 XP to El Pinche for the reference.
I saw Gary Gygax one time at a game convention. I'm more of a video game nerd than a D&D nerd, so not knowing who he was, I made fun of his fez when I thought he was out of earshot. He died of a broken heart six months later. I will take this guilt to the grave.
You sweat from a Lolth-Touched Bebilith's(HD:12) balls!
You sweat from a Lolth-Touched Bebilith's(HD:12) balls!
Is that covered by Obamacare?
Not anymore.
I'm not sure what is more sad, the dissing of Gary Gygax in person or the hopeless shame you must feel when Steely Dans "Aint Never Gonna do it without the Fez On" plays.
for shame …
I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool.
I heard the debt battle was gay
It hit my gag reflex
Debt Ceiling Cat would know for sure.
Hey, watch how you take my … oh. OK.
Hey! Hi! How's everything?
I'll tell you for $2.5 trillion
Just give me your ABA and account numbers and I'll transfer it right over. You can post them here — nobody's looking.
Good afternoon, I'm a wealthy Nigerian prince in need of some assistance aquiring my bequeathed treasure…
The debt battle = Marcus Bachmann?
Hey, Newell, how's it hangin'? As to the Debt of the Bulge, no, but it sure was flaming.
Things are alright, from atop my pile of Gawker sellout money. I like the new writer, LBJ!
Hey, did you start a new business and hire you some new workers with the tax breaks up there? I hear that's what all you rich sellouts do, and that's why you're good for the country!
They're shoving it down our throats.
I'd say it was a haboob.
Pray away the debt.
Amen to that.
Make sure those faith-based programs don't get cut either.
The Congressional Supplication Office.
oh jim is back. I hope this means we're in trouble again.
I heard it was retarded.
like a MISSLE KRUSHER DONGLE
"Cockgobblery"
Kochgobblery
fixed
It's not even cockgobblery; it's dumbassery.
A Code Monkeys shout out?
Luckily we citizens don't count to the Pols.
Exactly. They probably read the article and called their lobbyists for emotional support and a free private jet ride.
As long as Grover Norquist is happy, I know our politicians have done the right thing.
Meanwhile, let’s all congratulate
Ronald Reagan, JuniorBarack Obama…You mean Herbert Hoover, Jr., Junior?
~
Hoobert Heaver.
Hoover because he sucks the oxygen out of his base?
Alrighty, I like that and +1.
Grabassery.
How many just called it "depressing", before ordering their fourth drink of the evening?
FOURTH? Man, you guys are slow.
WaPo: The American public emerged today from months of ignorance-fueled fear-mongering and down-the-rabbit-hole polemic to admit that this whole debt-ceiling thing was frankly a little ridiculous.
We Americans will continue to be outraged until the fall TV line up returns.
Yeah, just as well Congress pulled this crap in summer, when everyone was distracted by the NBA/NFL lockout.
Or the next white girl goes missing…bound to be soon.
It's got to be a cute white girl, though. Homely missing white girls don't get any airplay.
Or we could be treated to 'famously drugged-up celebrity acting so C-R-A-A-A-Z-E-E-E!"
Yeah–what's that whacky Amy Winehouse up to this week?
Wait–really?
Day-um…
Thanks to the fucking intransigence and unwillingness to compromise of AMC and Matt Weiner, we now get no new "Mad Men" until March, 2012!! Are you happy, America?! Now go and make Daddy an Old Fashioned, and not so much bourbon on the pancakes this time.
Oh, so this is where the repubs learned about holding out.
Cheesy tots!
Cheesy tot moms!
OK, when I posted MY comment, yours was nowhere to be seen. Yet your timestamp reveals that you secretly plotted to turn back the clock and post *hours* before me. So, time travel IS possible?
Cheesy tot moms?
Cheesy tot moms eat their young!
Shit-show fail-parade?
I'm a fan of ass-grabbing-shit-show-fiasco. Wonder if WaPo allowed hyphens.
The same words could aptly describe the Tea Party.
And thanks, MSM, for constantly portraying this as an example of intransigence on both sides, which is why the Dems got just as much of what they wanted as the Repubs, except for anything it all, which in fact they (the Dems) did not, you know, uh…get.
Remember, MSM: your readers and viewers (unlike you) have no interest in our understanding of policy issues. They only want to hear about conflict.
I heard there were decent party favors, at least.
Gift bags for all! That’s good enough!
My favorite gripe as well. The balanced false equivalency of blaming both sides. Sadly, Barry did the same thing. The MSM is joke. I'd hoped for more from Hopey. I'm about to abandon all hope. Daumier?
We don't have the luxury of giving up. That's teabagger behavior. A sign you sometimes see in cafeterias pretty much sums up everything you need to know in life: CLEAN AS YOU GO.
V, what you speak of is well said, sad and true.
Republicans have to either let the Bush tax cuts expire or they have to cut defense spending and handouts to insurance companies, and they don't get to cut the domestic programs they wanted to cut. They don't have any red meat to throw their base, and House teatards will have much less influence over the process in the future.
Maybe none of that's what the Democrats wanted (don't know about you, but yours truly could go for a BLT and a handjob), but it's not nothing either. Republicans have to do a bunch of shit they didn't want to do because of those stupid triggers, and they don't get to do a bunch of shit they did want to do.
Thanks for finding something positive in this.
"Republicans have to either let the Bush tax cuts expire or they have to cut defense spending and handouts to insurance companies, and they don't get to cut the domestic programs they wanted to cut. They don't have any red meat to throw their base, and House teatards will have much less influence over the process in the future … Republicans have to do a bunch of shit they didn't want to do…, and they don't get to do a bunch of shit they did want to do. "
This is, absolutely and by far, the best news I've heard all day.
Please accept this perfectly toasted BLT as an expression of my gratitude.
I do hear this. I guess I've lost so much Hopey that I think we'll cave even if all we have to do is stand still. Harry Reid seems pretty good at that.
Someone please explain to me what Americans have to do with this. I'll bet the goddamn Greeks are laughing at us.
Yeah. I'd like to give them a pita my mind.
The way things are going, I wouldn't give my pitas for free these days…
Really. Rent it to them for a couple hundred grand.
We're in serious need of a gyro, right now.
I'm trying desperately to come up with a response pun, but I am failing moussakaberly.
That was good. Thanks for playing! I got nothing, even though I've sat here for at least 30 seconds. Opa!
Obviously you should be punished. Spankopita'd in fact.
Coincidentally, Americans give overwhelmingly negative reviews to the Washington Post's coverage of the 'fierce budget debate' and large numbers continue to think our news media is a fucking joke, according to me.
Boiling is awfully messy. Can't we just defenestrate them out the window?
That was a really, really, really redundant statement.
yeah. i've only heard that word once, when i was hanging with a lawyer. good times. to defenestration!
Rampant fuckwittery?
Figure out a way to work the word "jackassery" into your statement, and it would be just about perfect.
As well as blatant jackassery.
As I just replied to E.Q.: My next tshirt shall (should) be "Rampant fuckwitery" on the front, "Blatant jackassery" on the back. Maybe I could wear it to a Tea tard rally? (They're everywhere down here.)
That seals it. Next shirt is: "Rampant fuckwittery" on the front, "Blantant jackassery" on the back.
Live blog? The word salad is flying around the floor of the House of Representatives.
While the word ridiculous was commonest among both Democrats and Republicans, the commonest word used by Tea Party Republicans was "Niggardly".
The Republicans were very pedantic. There was rampant pedantry.
And quite a bit of pederasty, as well.
Knowing those bastards, I'm sure.
Yeah, but they were just mispronouncing a word they'd heard Limpballs say on his for-shit radio show.
"But some of my best friends are niggardly!"
I have good relationships with the niggardly.
Dutch libel!
Dutch OVEN libel!
I am going to have to re-think my position against voting for pro-wrestlers for higher political office because (1) apparently, any old idiot would do as well, if not better, than the well-educated jackass who previously fooled me into voting for him by promising "hope," and (2) I am in the mood for a politician that can kick some ass. Literally. So, a pro-wrestler as President is the way forward.
Could we extend that also to former comedians? (i.e. Franken)
Honestly, I think that having been a "former comedian" and labelled as such meant he worked a lot harder at actually studying the things that are relevant to being a congresscritter, like, oh, the Constitution, history, the mechanisms of government…
Only former pro-wrestlers who also had successful careers in porn need apply.
A fan of the 2nd greatest movie ever made i see; 'Idiocracy'. We all know the greatest movie ever made was 'The Big Lebowski'. Actually now i see a common thread. 'Being There' falls in line as well.
Santorum
They've taken away the bread, and Washingon doesn't understand that they've got to a make the circuses entertaining.
"This may be the year when we finally come face to face with ourselves; finally just lay back and say it—that we are really just a nation of 220 million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns, and no qualms at all about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable."
Replace "money" with "credit" and it still works forty years later…
Monday morning quarterback/pandering asshole Mittens agrees.
Huntsman's the only one with balls, or dignity.
Especially when it comes to limp-wristed smacking of polluters. Boy, has he got dignity with that shit. Google "Huntsman Odessa TX" for details.
"Asked for single-word characterizations of the budget negotiations,"
Because 140 characters is just too many
One word?! How about gratuitousfuckinbrinkmanshipovermoneywe'vealreadyspentwhenwehaveashitton-ofrealfuckingcrisestodealwithyousorryassmotherfuckers?
Will a spoon full of sugar make that medicine go down?
Maybe a ladle. No sugar, just the ladle.
That's what the good lord made feeding tubes for.
Fuck the sugar, past the tequila shots…
refudiate dat
You broke my spell checker.
K'na!
Let's see, first up, Democrats for caving, Repulsivecans for demanding that the wealthy be untouchable as "job creators" and the media for portraying this as anything but a treasonous hostage play on the american people. Yes, the American people have much to hate the folks inside the beltway for. If there was anything that could remedy the situation, I'm sure we would all love to. Elections have consequences, unfortunately Diebold and others will probably rig 2012 too. Yay!
They may not need to, given how rapidly Anthony Kennedy will say "looks fine to me" about the various laws Repblithugs like Scott Walker are creating in order to disenfranchise Democrats.
"Asked for single-word characterizations of the budget negotiations…"
Your choices are: shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits
I think "Pussyass" should be up there too, at least for Democrats.
All of 'em, Katie…
shitpissfuckcuntcotcksuckermotherfuckertits…
…plus, dickfacelimpdickmicrodick
(Or, I could keep it family friendly and just say "teapartymembers." Same difference.)
The George Carlin special.
Well, "tits" is right out. Because tits are a good thing.
Counterpoint: Huckabee
(_o_)(_o_)
Okay stop it you're freaking me out
OK, I will decently cover them:
(___)(___)
Better?
Tits doesn't even belong on the list, you know. It's such a friendly sounding word. It sounds like a nickname. 'Hey, Tits, come here. Tits, meet Toots, Toots, Tits, Tits, Toots.' It sounds like a snack doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is, right. But I don't mean the sexist snack, I mean, New Nabisco Tits. The new Cheese Tits, and Corn Tits and Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits Onion Tits, Tater Tits, Yeah. Betcha can't eat just one. That's true, I usually switch off .
They come in twos, it's hard to choose…
Sorry old man, but the wonkeeteers are too young to understand that sly reference to George Carlin's 7 words you can't say on TV.
We need new ones anyway.
Any takers?
1. Congress
2. Bipartisan
3. Austerity…
4. Shared
Come now, although it predates the erection that precipitated my entry on scene, the 7 words is classic.
5. Poor
6. Class
7. Extremist*
*Except when describing moderates.
So, okay, who wins with the government is described as stupid & ridiculous? The GOP, which campaigns on "government can't do anything right" and once elected sets to prove that is the case.
I stand by my term: Bukakke Theater.
Oh. *One* word. Haha .. uh…bukakkeater.
535 congresspersons, one cup?
But aren't we the ones eating shit?
It's like kabuki, but wetter.
Stupid Congress! What a bunch of doo-doo ca-ca poopy-heads!
I could have made them do it right!
I expect royalties, you know.
Any plagiarism was entirely unconscious, and should be construed as the sincerest form of flattery. Besides, cutting a royalty check to every kindergartner in the world is too much to expect. See you in court.
"Coproma"
Corprolite?
No, that's just the Senate.
Is that related to coprophagia or coprophilia?
[I wouldn't know what those are if it wasn't for my dog, TYVM.]
Same root, but opposite problem.
Seriously, look it up. It is literally the best, most evocative metaphor for the legislative process ever.
"Coproma"
If that doesn't actually mean a petrified shit coma, it ought to.
Is "crap-hole" one word?
I can't believe it!
And people are strange.
Our president's crazy,
Did you hear what he said?
Business and pleasure,
Lie right to your face.
Divide it in sections,
And then give it away.
There are no big secrets.
Don't believe what you read!
We have great big bodies,
We got great big heads!
Run-a-run-a-run it all together.
Check it out – still don't make no sense.
Makin' flippy floppy,
Tryin to do my best.
Lock the door,
We kill the beast.
Kill it!
But everyone conducted themselves with such dignity and statesmanlike probity! How is this possible?
Who says a black Republican will never win the White House?
4% described it as "Obama." I guess the word Obama is now synonymous with "clusterfuck."
Eleventy dimensional chess!
Give them one week of American Idol, Ice Loves CoCo, some Fox News, and a few trips to the Applebees and all of this debt nonsense will be nothing more than a distant memory.
Herman Cain would be the envy of the Republic Party if he sent everyone a free pizza coupon if your gross wages was <$75K.
Kinda like Shrubs little stimulus check.
Vote for Herm: A pizza in every pot.
Truest post in the history of the interwebs.
Throw in a couple of eps of "Big Brother" and there ya go! Free cheese for everyone!
Oh, here's a genuine shocker. According to NPR, Virginia Foxx is still sitting in the "undecided" camp for voting on the debt ceiling fandango. C'mon, Vagina, vote against the nasty black man. You know you want to!
Is Virginia Foxx a perfect name for a porn star, or what?
Is Virginia Foxx herself the least porn-star looking individual on earth (besides Newt Gringo), or what?
The old crone wants that big black cock in her ass. She ain't foolin' me.
Jezus, ttommy, yer such a slut! What would I do without ya?
Is this the same American people who made that Smurf movie #1 at the box office. I wouldn't listen to them, they're stupid too.
Hate to be the Nerd in the Red Shirt, but Cowboys & Aliens was number one. And I agree that the Smurf movie looks like a total abortion. Hollywood ruins another one of my cherished childhood memories.
I hated to be one of those ticketbuyers to push that turkey of a movie over the top. The event I travelled 180 miles to attend was rained out, so I ventured further into Layne territory and found a theater in Apple Valley showing it. Meh. First movie I've seen in maybe 15 years, probably gonna be that long before I see another. If I even live that long.
The price of freedom is eternal crankiness.
Want to hear something even more ridiculous? President Romney today nominated Eric Cantor as Secretary of the Treasury.
Nononononnnoooooononnonononononooonnnoooooooooooooooo
*sigh* if only that nice lady from Alaska were running things, what was her name again?
How many people described it as "retarded"?
I may get a lot of grief for this, but even though my understanding of this situation is almost certainly incomplete, but as much as I hate this "deal", I can't bring myself to hate Barry for it. Simply put, the TP is willing to destroy the country and cause great human suffering to make their childish point and play to their base, and Obama isn't. They know this about him and thus had him over a barrel from the beginning. This speaks to me of him possessing a fundamental human decency that puts him at a disadvantage in American politics. Perhaps he "caved", but would the TP have yielded, and could the global economy survive a US default?
Destroying the US sounds kind of terroristy to me. Does this mean we could've just Gitmo'd the Tea Party and their supporters? For freedom and prosperity? Certainly would have made debt negotiations a bit simpler.
The teabaggers certainly wouldn't be in favor of having such a threat as themselves held on American soil — so Gitmo it is.
not from me.
this is the fault of the baggers pure and simple. though the media was an accomplice (and from day #1 have paid attention to their puerile rantings and given them authority they have never earned), the baggers and their overlords (americans for prosperity, etc.) set out to destroy this president and the dems.
hell, i don't even blame boehner as much. i suspect he's having a pretty crappy month himself.
Hell, all you have to do is read today's report on Michele Bachmann at TPM. They're talking about how "many Republicans LERVE her," but when you read a little further you find that THIRTY WHOLE PEOPLE attended her rally. And only 75 attended Jim DeMint's. So why is the media reporting these as "rallies," when hundreds of thousands march against war or against union-busting or against the immigration bullshit, and barely get coverage? Is that, or is it not, a compromised media?
I agree with you but I can't get past the fact that we wouldn't be here if Barry had held the line last year when the ReFugs were holding unemployment benefits hostage for the Bush tax cuts. If he hadn't been such a pussy then, these terrorists wouldn't have been able to assrape us this time.
I'd be a lot more understanding of his "fundamental human decency" if it were backed up by some real conviction and the willingness to fight for the principles he ran on, instead of him indulging his bipartisanship/compromise/common ground fetish.
Maybe if just once he acted like the crazy gangster Wesley Snipes "always bet on black" nigga the right thinks he is, they would hesitate for one second before pulling the pin out of the grenade.
Argh, I miss Bill Clinton. He played dirty. We need that now.
Forgive me. I'm out of snark and halfway through a bottle of Barefoot moscato.
That unemployment deal would not have gone down if stupid hipster Democrats had gone to the polls in November instead of going to John Stewart's pointless rally.
Granted, I was among the stupid hipsters (trust me, I feel guilty enough as it is!) that rally was so irritating since he pretty much pulled the same shit Obama did by declaring both sides bad. I know that ostensibly, this is his entire routine since he makes fun of Democrats all the time but "acting like the adult in the room" is not only boring but still let's the other side off the hook.
Yeah, what you said!
I regret that I can't give you an upfist for this.
Barry was giving into the tea party before there was a tea party, before they even gained control of the House. And, it's not just giving into them, it's that he has this uncanny knack to find (and eagerly search for) new and embarrassing ways to lose. It's as much of the "how" as it is that he's doing it in the first place. I can't keep apologizing for him, anymore. No more. It was the stimulus (an inordinate amoutn of it tax cuts and credits rendering its effects muted), it was health care (not even putting a public option on the table), it was unemployment benefits (in exchange for extending the ridiculously budget-busting Bush tax cuts)…it's just fucking everything.
Let me be very clear about something, it was either McConnell or Boehner, but one of those guys offered the president a clean debt ceiling vote a few months back, if I recall. He passed that up to go for something historic. OBAMA actually ended up tying the debt ceiling vote to budget issues. That absolutely blows my mind. But, let's just put that aside for a moment. After that, he handled this entire situation horribly. The longer a president waits to get involved the weaker he gets, and it often gets to the point that after a certain point, a president doesn't have much leverage. He allowed the tea party rebellion the time to grow even larger than it already had making himself irrelevant.
You're absolutely right. Also, I think he deserves credit for saving quite a bit from the shitstorm those shitheads were going to subject us all to. He's pushed the whole circus on to 2013, which means NO showdown in October, and no fandango next year while the elections are driving us nuts. He's made sure the Medicare beneficiaries won't have to suffer the cuts. And he's sent Boehner and McConnell back to their people to sell the idea that the cuts don't start till we get that revenue in 2013, and have to come equally from Defense and entitlements. He had shit to work with and he made shinola out of it. Doesn't seem that bad to me, considering the TP was getting ready to saw the baby in half.
Right on. Succinct and apt. Qualities all but unknown in our nation's political and media circles. You get today's Parsimonious Post Prize. Congratulations!
50 million Elvis fans can't be wrong.
Reminds me of:
"Eat shit. Fifty-million flies can't be wrong!"
"50 million Elvis fans can't be wrong."
Are you suggesting that we shoot our TV sets?
More or less commenting on the measurability of popular opinion, but as an unintended secondary point, that works too.
For DeMille, fur henchmen can't be rowing.
Jesus, can't they just tell us if the fake economy is fucked up forever or not???
As an American, I know it's my patriotic duty to whine and vent angrily about everything, so I suppose now's not the time to indulge in my mild pleasure at seeing Teabaggers' "moral principles" finally revealed for being nothing more than a fascistic brand of obsessive-compulsive disorder?
Some of them may be be too stupid to realize it, and some of them may be smart enough to still be playing along, but this was a major victory for the Teabag nation. They got 99% of their wettest dreams here.
At what point will this president realize that the rational actor model does not apply to these idiots?
I'd rather be a rational actor/model than a model/actor.
That's the same way they describe a Double Whopper with fries, but they still keep buying the stuff.
Someone on Chrissy's show (and wasn't he wound up. Bless his little heart) described Obama as being the guy who walks into the room and establishes himself as in the middle. But we all know the obvious problems with that one.
Overall, nearly three-quarters of Americans offered a negative word; just 2 percent had anything nice to say.
Would that be the same 2% that thinks Mittens is a Muslim? Thought so…
were “ridiculous,” “disgusting” and “stupid.”
No truer testement that we have a government of, by, and for the people.
If Americans think the negotiations themselves are ridiculous, they should look at the ticket prices to get in to see the damned things. Who the fuck do these Congress jokers think they are, Lady GaGa?
well i don't see what the big deal is. markets are up and unemployment will shortly be plummeting as all those cuts unleash that pent up energy in our great economy.
Finally, consensus! President Obama was right after all. It was right there for the taking.
Obama is now qualified to be the CEO of a national pizza chain after this ass-fucking.
One word, eh. Mmmmm…
Weaselbuttfucker. Like in why is this weaselbuttfucker so happy?
Yeah, that's the face of someone who compromised.
GODDAMN IT!!1111!!!111!!1
Check the Elements of Wonkette Style. You'll see there that the preferred nomenclature is filthyweasel (n.).
Related: To filthyweasel (v.).
Not wishing to be a-fowl of Strunk and Wonkette, but the filthyweaseling filthyweasel McTurtle is major league into seriously non-intransitive buttsechs – 300+ mil tushies and counting. So how should this language-challenged engineer do the conjugations so as to include McTurtle's love of primal orifice spelunking?
"McConnell filthyweaseled his way into many an unsuspecting page's anus."
"Rep. McConnell, a prominent advocate for filthyweasel causes…"
"When not filthyweaseling, McConnell can often be found touring area children's hospitals trying to cheer up the youngsters by exposing himself and spraying carbolic acid in their now-wide eyes."
See? It's fun!
"A lot of people also said something the Washington Post spells as “bull____,” and we can’t figure out what it means."
Bullfrog?
Bullhorn?
Bulldozer?
Bulletin?
Bullimic.
"Huuuuuaaaarrrgghhh"
Bullkakke.
Bullyouknowwhoelsewas.
T.
I know know why I upfisted this…perhaps its minimalist symmetry?
I think someone's going to get a lot of crappy joke presents for his birthday. Like a case of hobo beans.
FuckYouGasBags
OK, I have tried to be mad with Barry, all day, and I simply can't summon up the hatred. So, I think we have to do what that nice Black Panthery-sounding Congressman, Chaka Fattah (sp) just said, on Tweety's show, just wait until the smoke clears and look at all the details, this deal is better than we think. Now, full disclosure, I am a bit jet-lagged, but I'm going with my new bff Chaka . Update he was born Arthur Davenport, but I still really like him.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGB2jY223JI
Oh thanks so much for that!
You're welcome. I think it's the way you do the Stroll.
Chaka Fattah: The lovechild of a legendary funkstress and the leader of the Gaza Strip.
(also, points off for no X!!)
"this deal is better than we think"
Oh, so the rich ARE getting tax increases (or at least getting the Bush cuts repealed)?
Oh, so we didn't ignore the advice of every serious economist in the world by agreeing to cutting spending to Eisenhower administration levels during one of the worse recessions ever?
My internets must be broken, cuz what I heard was that the rich pay nothing, and the poor get the koch up the wazoo.
I also heard that the Obama-GOP deal could cut non-defense domestic spending to as low as 1.7% of GDP whereas the much ridiculed Paul Ryan plan called to cut it to 1.6% of GDP.
I can't wait for the magic salve that will make this cornholing feel so good.
I found this earlier today and it made me feel better or maybe it's the bottle of potato vodka I drank but meh.
http://www.thepeoplesview.net/2011/08/paul-krugma…
Thanks for the link. It made me feel a little better.
Not quite like dancing in the streets, but still…
Damn, an actual glimmer of hope. Something unexpected and not predictable. If the article is half right, Obama is a much better Machiavellian than most of us thought.
Chaka Chaka Chaka Fattah
Did anyone use Crap-O-Rama?
This kind of thing leaves me gagged, tortured, and violated.
Fucked, fouled, and fly-blown.
I take that to mean you are so enthusiastic about the deal that you actually have equated it to your sexual fantasies.
Sans snark: selfish. That's my fucking word for the torrent of bullshit idiocy on the part of the rethugs and appeasement on the part of the dems. Nobody seems to give a flying fuck about anything but kissing the right asses to keep the funds coming in and a pretty office in the District. Last time I checked, the job description included representing all your constituents. Obviously, I'm a naïf.
Perfect. Fucking selfish pricks beholden only to their campaign donors.
As far as the Tea Party Congresspeople are concerned, that misses the point. We are in this shithole precisely BECAUSE they do not give a shit about re-election, or anything else besides their mission of defunding and destroying the Federal Government. In this, they are behaving exactly as we lefties always claim we want our legislators to behave: in the interest of their values and beliefs, not a paycheck and tenure. Clearly, WE ARE NOT SPARTANS.
A valid point…the teatards are more idealogues. The rest of the rethugs catering to them and not just being their normal brand of selfish pricks significantly contributed to this clusterfuck.
We're represented by selfish people because so much of the electorate is selfish. We are no longer a nation of Americans in the same boat with, and looking out for, our fellow citizens. That's because so many of us have become partisans, zealots, and gimme pigs intent on destroying … not just the middle class. Apparently anyone who's not what most of us want to be (poor, old, immigrant, disabled … not a Kardashian.)
De-fund public education, refuse to give the less-thans a leg up, and apparently in a much shorter time than even I thought possible we create a population of stupid people who will vote for any demagogue who appeals to their hate, religious fanaticism, and/or greed. Vitter, DeMint, Coburn, Cornyn, Chambliss, Inhofe, Barasso, Thune, Crapo. I mean seriously, Crapo? WHO voted for these people?? And John McCain … now, judging by his record, America's most conservative senator? For shame.
Well, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious sure doesn't apply. I'll have to go to Full Metal Jacket for my answer: Poontang.
I forget, do we love or hate the idea of a Democratic primary challenger next year?
After the first 7 drinks, we alternate.
Before drinking: Angry
After drinking: Still angry
This is serious because I'm usually a happy drunk.
Me, too, DBB. Perhaps, I just need to keep trying. I'm not some teatard-grifter-quitter-cunt, after all.
Me neither. cheers!
OMG–just heard on NPR the Gabby Giffords was on the House floor to vote for the stupidass bill. That is (OK, aside from the avoidance of default for NO FUCKING REASON AT ALL) literally the only good news to come out of this whole embarrassing clusterfuck.
Just saw it on CSPAN Dr. Z. Just fucking amazing to she her come back to make this vote.
Wasn't that wonderful, see we are much better humans than this week would have everyone believe, that includes our Hopey.
There ya go, girl. It may feel kinda ass-rapey now, but it's really not as bad as the screamers are making it sound, and our Hopey did better than they're saying. I'm with you. And Neville.
Neville reaches out and slashes you with love.
OT Gabby Giffords just voted on the House floor, I am weeping like a baby!
Welcome back Gabby!
So much for the frothing Bagger daydreams that she be declared unfit to serve and be bum rushed out. Seeing her on the House floor was a big Fuck You to hate and extremism.
Yes, indeedy. So glad to see that she walked in (mostly) under her own steam and cast her vote.
that was the best thing i have seen in months
Oh, hey, just in case anyone forgot, I just thought I'd mention, one more time, The Chart That Should Accompany All Discussions of the Debt Ceiling.
It's really quite a chart.
The only really amusing thing about this–in what used to be called sick humor–is that the Tea Partiers have pretty much shot their wad. They'll try for another government shutdown and other such mischief, but they pretty much self-labeled themselves as extremists that don't give a shit about the country, and whoever runs against Barry next year is going to have to decide whether to suck up to them or actually run against them. Guess we'll see how the polls shake out.
I have to comment on this, well, just 'cuz. Fergot what I was gonna say. Never mind.
Why oh why do the Teahadists remind me of George Wallace?
What? You mean this isn't a historic moment for Patriotic Teabagging Americans?
Splunge.
That's the entire Mittens platform!
Splodge would work too.
Say it with me, Teabaggers:
"The rich don't give a fuck about me."
"The rich don't give a fuck about me."
"The rich don't give a fuck about me."
Repeat until you get it through your thick, racist skulls.
They're not gonna get it through their thick racist skulls even if you try to beat it in there with a metal bat. I have not found any upside in attempting discourse with them. They simply don't want to hear anything anyone else says, and if they hear it, they don't believe it. Regardless of the evidence.
Well C'Addled Rep Jim McDermott (CP) voted no, but hey so did Moran (D). Thanks Jim, not wishing default but this "deal" was all give and zero take. The inmates for true have the keys to the asylum.
May Jim McDermott never, ever retire. We can always count on him to vote what's right, even if it's really, really unpopular. Baghdad Jim knows no fear.
Well our beloved commie pinko (CP) not (D) Baghdad Jim is rated by the Conservapedia as the most liberal member of Congress. Not sure how you can accurately state/rate that, but over the years he sure has been in the pink.
Meanwhile back, in Penny Lane the barber shaves another customer, while the banker sits waiting for a trend…………….Astroturf "Americans for Prosperity" (poverty) is hard at it again, convincing said "Morans" that Obama is the devil incarnate, sad truth is, the "Morans" believe every fart out of the Koch's Ass, propagating the aformentioned "national nightmare". Most of them are too stupid to know the same A-hole SOB's are the reason they are paying $3.75 for a gallon of gas. The only good thing is they all drive gas-guzzeling SUV's and quasi-tanks that get 6 mpg., who's laughing now?
Here's my word
JDFCMdgvsfvasNFDXMJwyy5hwCXJMfgulkfgkukio; [-oertnJfasbvKCXIUJUMlghXDJJJU89Mgfjl,ghMJUICDMK
fvafb
I just shoved my keyboard up my ass and pulled it out of my mouth, and there it was! Because well, that's how I'm feeling about this whole fucking rotten mess anyway.
Plus I'm thinking if I can get good at it, I can probably perform the act for the dimes of Chinese tourists and Wall Street bankers in Times Square.
Apropos of nothing, but your post brought back a fond(ish) memory:
I used to have a group of friends that I played poker with; never any real money changing hands, just everybody bringing their change jars, basically, and drinking, eating, shooting the shit… So we played for pennies, nickels and dimes, and you know how sometimes you'll get a coin that's really, really dirty looking, for whatever reason? We would always call them "ass pennies". As in, that penny looks like it's been in your ass.
Point being, you'll be on the street busking for Chinese ass dimes.
That's astounding, because I just shoved my keyboard down my throat and pulled it out of my ass and got this:
bfavf
KMDCIUJMhg,ljfgM98UJJJDXhglMUJUIXCKvbsafJntreo-[
;oikukgfklugfMJXCwh5yywJMXDFNsavfsvgdMCFDJ
hahaa!
Meet me in NY, we'll make literally handfuls of change. And presumably spend it all on tooth paste. gawd.
That looks like the dumb pass-key to install microsoft office!
and come up with in the same way, presumably.
Glenn Greenwald thinks it is all a plot by Obama so that he can "can run for re-election as a compromise-brokering, trans-partisan deficit cutter willing to "take considerable heat from his own party."
Which shows that Greenwald, while creative, intransigent and simply brilliant on human rights issues is stupid about politics.
Most of those who hate/dislike Obama do so because he is black. He can turn Republican somersaults for the next two years and it won't make him any whiter. Despite their 28 months before the election flirting with Herman Cain, Republicans and those to the right of Republicans would hate Obama if he had the domestic policies of Grover Norquist and the foreign policy of John Bolton.
One of Obama's main faults is that he thinks too highly of the American people.
It's really rather sad that Obama would be a better president if we were better people.
Gee I miss the downthumb. I don't hate Obama because he's black, I dislike him because he is a Reagan-wannabe. If Obama thought highly of the American people he would have found a way not to dramatically cut government spending in a time of recession. He has doomed the american people (except the wealthy) to unimaginable misery for generations to come because he wants to be seen as a middle of the roader, which in America always seems to mean a Republican from 5 years ago.
‘Stupid,’ ‘Ridiculous’ and ‘Disgusting’
And here I always thought the only one I could attribute these three words to was my X.
So much to learn, so little time.
OT but if you want to get your hate on…
http://gawker.com/5826656/republican-working-with…
He also said, "You people are too sensitive".
I think I just had an aneurysm.
50% of democrats are spineless fucktards.
"Oh, we had to avoid the debt ceiling not being raised, we were forced to."
"Officer, I didn't want to drive drunk and kill all those innocent people, but I had to get home by midnight or my mom would kill me."
I've not read a single post, here (not even the original), but I just have to say that I couldn't give two flying fucks what "America" thinks about this deal because they are the ones that flip every two years during elections dependening on who touches their emotional buttons the right way. They don't think anything through; they're impulsive as hell; they don't have the maturity to ever knowingly do the right. They don't even know when they have it good, politically.
Here we are 230 years into our existence, and we're not going towards a more perfect union, but regressing back towards the worst kinds of polarization and provincialism. We quite literally need a single party to control both houses and the presidency (with a 60 margin in the Senate, even) to get anything done; I'm talking right or left.
There was a time not even that long ago where thing could get done in divided government. Sometimes, we could even do big things with divided government. It's now such a zero-sum game, making divided government work is completely impossible. Hell, not just divided government, but even when a single party controls both houses and the presidency because of how the Senate is set up.
I don't understand how we survive this. If Republicans get control of every branch, we lose. If Democrats get control of every branch, we lose. Perhaps, they slow down slightly our descent into the abyss, but we're still falling at near-Icarian speeds.
This simply isn't sustainable. There is a barbarian horde scaling the walls indiscriminately smashing any and every civic institution they come upon, and the people we continue to elect to protect them from us aren't doing their job.
You get the government you deserve, America. You are disgusting, ridiculous, stupid, childish, a joke, and suck…oh, and so, so much more.
Sieg Heil, Hopefully John Boehner will run and put his Nazi buddies in key positions, see you in the camps!
So much yes. Some days I wish Lincoln had just ceded the South. America is too damn big.
That's because 'The Fix', as they say, is in.
BTW, everyone in Washington wins. They are so insulated against real world consequences, and the consequences of their own legislation, that they don't ever lose. If they can hang on past their second, two-year term (which most of them do), they get a pension.
Sorry for the serial posting, but wasn't seeing Gabby back in the House, great? She looked better than I expected, mouthing "thank yous" waving, hugging…she's still there.
This from the people that gave the World eight years of Dubya and gave the House to the Repugs. We are so fucked!
Galooly.
One word for this debacle, eh? I nominate Amy Winehouse's use of the term "fuckery" as in her song lyric "What kind of fuckery is this?" More fitting today than probably when it was written.
It pisses me off to no end that she is dead, yet trolls like Rick Santorum live.
At least she gave the world some music, the fuck has Rick Santorum done besides traumatize his kids? Yet he lives and breeds.
Gah. I'm fucking done.
It brings to mind the inimitable Dorothy Parker: "What fresh hell is this?"
Here's a gem of cognitive dissonance from a freeper today – "The GOP elites are trying to split up the tea party. They have now forced us to choose between a strong defense and low taxes."
Sigh.
They are just so fucking stupid. "Strong Defense"? Please. PLEASE. PLEASE.
please. 9/11. Lost two wars in the middle east. $7 trillion dollars since 2000. "strong defense"? They misspelled "ginormus fucking boondoggle".
You see? Is it possible to negotiate with insane people? Of course not. They're willing to kill us all on a whim. Jezus I hate this century.
Don't they know the GOP elites pay for their bus rides to the National Mall and the canned corn syrup?
I can't wait until the fucking baggers go back to their regional klan groups, country clubs, and just plain die . fuck it. I'm sick of hearing about their racist psychotic shit.
I'm going on the record right now. In 2012, our brilliant electorate will give us a Democratic majority Congress … and then put whatever whack job the Republicans nominate in the White House.
This all sucks and it's fucking Shark Week too. There is no God.
Good news is Gifford is up and about in Congress…voted for the sack of shit bill, but good news nonetheless.
… so who did they "hurt" again, and who's "driving the car"??
Ludicrous. Too hard to spell ?
Was the appearance of Ms Giffords' just a tad over the fucking top or what. No offense, but my head just about exploded. Really, House? Really? You may be sucking in the rest of the world with the fake human interest angle but not me, and prolly not anyone here, either. Because Doppelganger. Also too hard to spell. See: Drama. Fiction. Overacting.
LIARS.
WTF?
yeah. i just read people i like here, weeping over her appearance after i posted.
always with the wtf on my posts. but ok. look, i am not un-glad to see her. of course not. what i do feel is a stunt. not necessarily by her but an act nonetheless.
that is my wtf. her AZ 'constituents' worried about their ss checks this week.
we got some unelected supercommittee that will be cutting shit in the next round.
wtf are they congratulating? it ain't like the nra backed off once crazy dude shot her, and killed two others. they double down on the crazy, and i'm supposed to be touched?
i thought we were all supposed to be irreverant here. fuck me, i'm sorry again. cuz i really do admire ur posts, and others here.
Then you're reading into something something that I didn't see. Last I checked, they weren't clapping for her because of how she voted, but that she was fucking alive and well enough to be in the House chambers, at all, for the first time since her near-death experience.
I'm about as cynical as the next person, here, but perhaps you were reading way too much into her appearance, or maybe we were watching different mediums.
Good choice of words. I'll go with 'watching different mediums', tho we were probably seeing the same channel.
Half the people in that House, clapping "for her" also happen to support Walmart selling automatic rifles without proper background checks (i'm putting it badly & probably overstating – but surely you get my drift?)
That is why I said "overactors" LIARS in my earlier post.
They applaud b/c she lived, they'd have attended her funeral if she had not, but no.thing. will persuade half those people clapping, that gun control is a good move in this country. It's the hypocrisy on constant parade that I detest.
Apparently you are not as cynical as me. Does her yes vote put a human touch (as the networks said) on the debt ceiling debate? Only if you like dog and pony shows. I maintain this Aw moment will last until that arbitrarily appointed SuperCommittee announces their findings. Bless her for surviving that horrific attack, but what do her constituents in AZ want?
McCain/Palin ring a fucking bell? :)
What do you mean by doppelgänger? I'm a touch confused.
Frankly, I'm exercising my vocabulary. Apparently, not very well or clear enough.
What I meant was, I'm reading a lot of abuse being heaped upon President Obama today – and last I checked I'm still a liberal. I don't buy into what I'm seeing being posted in some liberal comment sites saying Obama is a sell out (but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm not disappointed as the next "socialist" right now).
Therefore, I proposed Doppelganger as a descriptive word, to poke fun @ other (more intense) liberals who may think the Executive we elected is endowed with a) magical powers to legislate and/or b) our Hope and Change Executive has been secretly replaced by faries with an evil twin.
Personally, I think he's doing as well as he can with the cards he was dealt.
I have a joke. Wanna hear it? Here it goes:
An older lady was sipping on her wine out on the patio with her husband, and she says "I love you so much I don't know how I could ever live without you."
Her husband asks, "Is that you, or the wine talking?".
She replied, "It's me. Talking to the wine".
Wonkette, of all websites, should not engage in censorship of any material, no matter how distasteful or offensive. Do not remove my postings (or anyone elses) until you are prepared to extract the shrapnel out of my ass. Free speech is what I fought for, so whether you agree with what I have to say, or not, I have the right to say it. Also, please bring back Fuckface McDownfisty, we should be able to take our hits if we get hammered, believe me, I'm not going to cry because someone disagrees with me. I am a very emotional person, besides, error in judgement is the best way to change minds, not affirmation. Don't become the Rush Limbaugh site of the left, only taking opinions that support your point of view.
agreed.
you don't see me crying b/c no one likes my joke.
well, you *can't* see me crying b/c there's no cam on my pc.
but whatever. i visit here and post sometimes b/c i can say what i want, i like outrageous opinions and i just now noticed i missed mcdownfisty (way earlier in the thread).
With you.
All opinions should be able to be expressed here.
Downfisting was removed by IntenseDebate, not Wonkette, is my understanding, after repeated automated downfist scripts. Those are stupid of course, and I'd welcome the opportunity to down- or up-fist at will.
Freedom of speech for the win. We might not all agree, and I know we don't, but given civility and snark we might learn to reach a consensus.
This is bullshit. Even a half-educated fuckwit knows that Freedom Of Speech means that the GOVERNMENT has no right to censor your speech. If it's someone else's website, publication or broadcast, you have no rights over what they choose to allow on it. Please get off your high horse and take a civics lesson.
I love it when you are angry.
Somebody piss on your wheaties today? NUTS
"Rise of the Planet of the Apes" & "Budget Deal". Coincidence? I think not…
Tom-fuckery
My one word description: "vomit".
I found the birthplace of the guy in the picture! (It even has a swimming pool!)
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4045/4634154230_45…
Craptiforous! Crapulent!
Better, but it still feels like my sister just showed me a bunch of lingerie shots.
btw, it looks like you just rested them on the counter.
I don't know. I'm both sufficiently cynical and irreverent, and also not bothered by formal kabuki. They damned well had better have clapped for her return to that body. I've never much cared for Gabby's politics, but she is who she is; I don't think she's ever potrayed herself as anything other than a centrist Democrat that aptly fits the lean of her district. Considering the kind of politicians that come out of Arizona, these days, I'd say she's one of the least offensive to my sensibilities of the bunch.
I mean, honestly, what the hell do I care that the House has to have the Sergeant at Arms carry in a ceremonial mace to start a daily session of that body? I honestly couldn't care less meaning that I wouldn't care if they stopped doing it, and I sure as hell won't be bothered by harmless ceremony and tradition, regardless of how irrelevant it may be.
There are things to be mad about, things to be annoyed at, and thing to be neither. I personally don't have a problem with the House welcoming back. Again, I probably didn't watch as much news as you did, maybe, because all I saw was Chris Matthews make a note of it, and then go back into how fucked up this 'deal' was.
Awww, that puts me in mind of Zingiber. He used to do that. When he wasn't busy knocking my cup of hot tea off the nearest available surface with that ENORMOUS tail.
For you, Neville is my guest avatar, should be there soon.
ZOMFG, he looks JUST LIKE the dear lost Zingiber! Although, to be honest, not quite as stupid. I did love the guy, but he really was the stupidest cat in the world. I called him my Special-Needs Kitteh (also Teh Tardbaby).
Thank you so much, Lizzie. That is so fucking sweet of you.
I recognised a fellow Ginger Tom aficionado.
Busted. FWIW, our vet says he's got a terrible weakness for them too, because they're pathetically silly, but very sweet and affectionate.
Neville is the world's sweetest animal but so nervous and spooky, our other cat, Fiona, is a 16 year old calico with a heart of pure stone and he thinks she is his soul mate but she barely tolerates him because he “replaced” her beloved Nigel,old cat who died, so she thinks we murdered Sir John Gielgud and replaced him with a teamster.
So was Zingiber. Sweet, stupid, very loving. Our version of Fiona was Faridah Peeples, who hated teh peeples with a passion. She's gone too, now. Poor Neville. I'm sure he has no idea why she keeps slapping him from time to time.
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