SPACE BUMS  3:06 pm August 1, 2011

Nice Spaceman Running For Senate From Washington State; Will End Minimum Wage & Colonize Space

by Wonkette Jr.

You know things are horrible in American Politics when a guy campaigning for U.S. Senate on a platform of free trade/space colonization and ending the minimum age so bums can work as low-paid “government helpers” sounds more reasonable than actual senators currently in positions of great power.

Courtesy of Wonkette commenter/operative AnnieGetYerFun, here’s some of the Idealz that drive Seattle economist/amateur astronomer Michael Goodspaceguy Nelson:

  • With help from NASA, let’s start the seeds of several small and growing orbital space colonies in orbit around Earth, around the Moon, and around Mars. With all the money we have already spent on our space programs, we should already have these growing, orbital space colonies.
  • Let’s use our unemployed people! Unemployment is a huge waste! Our government should back its minimum wage by employing those who apply (including people with problems). Because some workers want more leisure, government should lead by creating many flexible employment programs, such as the three day and four day work week options.
  • Our economy is like a truck. Economics tells us how to operate and unsabotage our economic truck. Elect small-spending candidates who understand economics. Identify and vote against big spenders.
  • Let’s establish a head tax to slow the population explosion (the cause of many problems) on our Spaceship Earth. A head tax would be more pleasant than the old, cruel methods of population control, such as starvation, disease, and war.
  • Because Maryland donated the land that became Washington D. C., I want the people of Washington D. C. to be allowed to vote in federal elections through the state of Maryland. I, Goodspaceguy, want beautiful Puerto Rico to become our 51st state.
  • [Our Spaceship Earth]

     

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    { 157 comments }

    nounverb911 August 1, 2011 at 3:08 pm

    Isn't Dr. Spaceman on 30 Rock?

    nounverb911 August 1, 2011 at 3:11 pm

    "Because some workers want more leisure, government should lead by creating many flexible employment programs, such as the three day and four day work week options."

    Didn't Walmart already do that so they won't have to pay benefits?

    anniegetyerfun August 7, 2011 at 11:20 pm

    The awesome thing about this guy is that he ALSO wants to do away with the minimum wage.

    Gratuitous World August 1, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    Can this be taken as a GOP flip-flop concerning their opinion of WALL-E?

    mookwrthwilson August 1, 2011 at 4:00 pm

    He claims to be a Demrat.

    Gratuitous World August 1, 2011 at 4:10 pm

    thanks. as long as their pixar vilification remains, my world remains rightside-up.

    OkieDokieDog August 1, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    I agree with all of it. Not really sure what any of it means, but what the hell, it's spacey!

    LettucePrey August 1, 2011 at 3:23 pm

    That guy is tense. Tension is a killer. I used to be in a barbershop quartet in Skokie, Illinois. The baritone was this guy named Kip Diskin, big fat guy, I mean, like, orca fat…. Back when I was picking beans in Guatemala, we used to make fresh coffee, right off the trees I mean. That was good. This is shit but, hey, I'm in a police station.

    BaldarTFlagass August 1, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    Who is Keyser Spaceguy?

    DustBowlBlues August 1, 2011 at 4:27 pm

    But you have to remember, my fellow okie, that the two of us have a pretty low bar when it comes to what you have to do to be in the senate. At least this clown seems to believe in science and population control, which puts him way out front of the two douchebags currently serving in the upper house from our idiot state.

    OkieDokieDog August 1, 2011 at 4:38 pm

    So true, DBBlue. I gave up on expecting nice things a long time ago.

    LettucePrey August 1, 2011 at 3:19 pm

    A head tax would be more pleasant than the old, cruel methods of population control, such as starvation, disease, and war.

    Dude has never heard of condoms?

    SmutBoffin August 1, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    Will Tom Servo be his chief of staff?

    Radiotherapy® August 1, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    Now that's something to Crow about.

    SorosBot August 1, 2011 at 3:37 pm

    Satellite's gone way up to Mars; soon will be filled with parking cars…

    Maman August 1, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    Yes please!

    littlebigdaddy August 1, 2011 at 3:48 pm

    I say no more Minnesotans in politics for awhile.

    metamarcisf August 1, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    When I joined MST in the '90s, instead of paying the small fee, I mailed them a copy of a Hamilton, Joe Frank & Reynolds album.

    deanbooth August 1, 2011 at 7:23 pm

    Speaking of MST3K, I considered commenting on the Biden/Secret Service thread: "If Biden had a second shed, he'd be Joe 'Two Sheds' Biden." — a line from A Touch of Satan that I never understood. Any ideas what it's a reference to?

    GlowneyHouse August 2, 2011 at 3:16 am

    A Monty Python sketch … http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLjS3gzHetA

    natoslug August 1, 2011 at 3:23 pm

    I thought the economy was a series of tubes.

    SmutBoffin August 1, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    Our economy is like a truck
    BER-ZER-KER!

    natoslug August 1, 2011 at 3:41 pm

    If we could trade our truck in for a Herkimer Battle Jitney, we could turn this mess around. JUNK IT!!!!!!!!!!

    KeepFnThatChicken August 2, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MAKING FUCK

    KenLayIsAlive August 1, 2011 at 8:56 pm

    It is going down the tubes, if that's what you mean.

    Come here a minute August 1, 2011 at 3:23 pm

    With all the money we have spent in Iraq and Afghanistan, we should already have several orbital Iraqs and Afghanistans.

    AJWjr. August 1, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    If it means I get more head, I'll gladly pay more taxes for it. And I can almost see Area 51 from my house, this guy is one of us!

    BaldarTFlagass August 1, 2011 at 3:30 pm

    Well, I don't think we should be increasing the taxes on the blow job creators.

    ifthethunderdontgetya August 1, 2011 at 3:25 pm

    Let’s use our unemployed people!

    Soylent green. It's the future.

    Economics tells us how to operate and unsabotage our economic truck. Elect small-spending candidates who understand economics.

    Allegedly I understand Economics, at least that's how I'm interpreting the fact that they gave me a degree in just 4 years (boy, were my friends surprised!).

    Anywho, cut spending during a period of high unemployment* like we have now, and we might just get another depression.

    * In other words, exactly what we're about to try.
    ~

    LettucePrey August 1, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    Our government should back its minimum wage by employing those who apply (including people with problems).

    Does my addiction to eating styrofoam popcorn count?

    SayItWithWookies August 1, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    Oh, come on — cutting spending during a period of high unemployment is the perfect pairing with cutting taxes in a time of war. It's the New York Strip and Pinot Noir of Republican politics — and how can you go wrong with that?

    SorosBot August 1, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    It worked great for Herbert Hoover!

    emmelemm August 1, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    We could use a man like him again!

    KenLayIsAlive August 1, 2011 at 8:57 pm

    Lucky us, we got one!

    hagajim August 2, 2011 at 11:28 am

    Right on baby! Lets see what happens when our lovely Washington DC dicks get done cutting to save America. Won't be much left to save. BTW, is it just me or are the homeless really running rampant nowadays?

    Callyson August 1, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    Only problem here is he is challenging an incumbent Dem (Maria Cantwell) in the Senate race. Can we get him to move to one of these states instead? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Senate

    ManchuCandidate August 1, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    Yeah… small gubbiment and space colonization don't compute.

    I prefer Bill "Spaceman" Lee who ran for preznit on the motto of "No guns, no butter. Both can kill you."

    Of course he never got elected as much of US America masturbates to their guns with butter.

    Grief_Lessons August 1, 2011 at 3:33 pm

    Small terrestrial government he supports. Space government on the other hand…

    tribbzthesquidz August 1, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    He said "head tax." Twice.

    baconzgood August 1, 2011 at 4:23 pm

    (Tee-Hee)

    "Head Tax"

    That's what I call it when I take the lil' lady to Ponderosa.

    Crank_Tango August 1, 2011 at 3:27 pm

    Pshh. Head tax. Who can afford to pay for head these days? Also, who's selling?

    ManchuCandidate August 1, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    I'll ask Client number 9.

    MissusBarry August 1, 2011 at 3:37 pm

    I should obviously charge MisterBarry more than taking out the recycling.

    DashboardBuddha August 1, 2011 at 3:54 pm
    GOPCrusher August 1, 2011 at 5:01 pm

    These days, I'd probably pay two bucks for head. Even bad head.

    Negropolis August 1, 2011 at 11:27 pm

    Well, for two bucks, it's going to be bad.

    hagajim August 2, 2011 at 11:28 am

    Pretty soon everyone…a person has to eat. Only problem is those paying are the 0.5% who can afford it.

    elviouslyqueer August 1, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    Let’s establish a head tax to slow the population explosion (the cause of many problems) on our Spaceship Earth. A head tax would be more pleasant than the old, cruel methods of population control, such as starvation, disease, and war.

    Sounds like somebody's watched one too many episodes of "The Tudors."

    Lascauxcaveman August 1, 2011 at 4:38 pm

    I dunno, I saw a few episodes of that and I remember the war, disease and war to be all a part of the the big, sexy Tudorian package. But more Anne Boleyn, please, also.

    Radiotherapy® August 1, 2011 at 3:29 pm

    Our economy is like a truck.
    TruckNutz for all!

    ManchuCandidate August 1, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    The US America economize is more like a pair of trucknutz that is being pelted by rocks and gravel from an unpaved road while stuck to the hitch of the biggest Hummer driven by the fattest tiniest dicked asshole.

    DahBoner August 1, 2011 at 5:43 pm

    Sort of like the Jeff Foxworthy School of Economics…

    Atlas Frooged August 1, 2011 at 3:30 pm

    He's got my vote. Him and every other unqualified 'outsider,' big gubmint hater and socially backward jackhole. Let's just bankrupt and crash this bitch already so we can hit the restart button.

    mavenmaven August 1, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    I would vote for him if he would provide free Seattle grown psychedelic mushrooms as part of the "space exploration" platform. (cue early Hawkwind on headphones!)

    BaldarTFlagass August 1, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    Lemme just crank up some a' them old Moody Blues albums. Whoa! Heavy!

    SayItWithWookies August 1, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    Oh, for the days when good acid was available — there's nothing like taking a good four-hour walk, then coming home and listening to Fripp and Eno's No Pussyfooting while peaking.

    GOPCrusher August 1, 2011 at 5:02 pm

    Or any Mahavishnu Orchestra album.

    SayItWithWookies August 1, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    Oh yeah — whatever the album is with "Sapphire Bullets of Pure Love" on it — the 7/8 time signature is so jarring and yet so awesome. Much better use of it than Floyd did with "Money," where they try to make it less noticeable by hiding it in a whiny dirge.

    smokefilleddoommate August 1, 2011 at 3:33 pm

    This is actually a real person? Not like some kind of "Bob" Dobbs thing?
    [Church of the SubGoodspaceguy]

    V572 Hair of Destiny August 1, 2011 at 4:49 pm

    Or Ronnie Dobbs.

    baconzgood August 1, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    "Let's go to the colonies"

    -Disembodied Voice from Dirigible with a Kimono Clad Chick Holding a Coke-

    ArmoredLibunatic August 1, 2011 at 3:49 pm

    Alas, I have but one upfist to give.

    He better do something about all the Replicates takin' our jerbs, too.

    baconzgood August 1, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    That's ok about the Skin Jobs. They only live for 4 years and I heard that they only dream of electronic sheep.

    Sue4466 August 1, 2011 at 3:35 pm

    Just to clarify, our economy is like a truck, but our internet is most definitely not a truck.

    It is now and always will be a series of tubes.

    Not afraid to go meme-deep.

    Doktor Zoom August 1, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    You have to like a guy who believes in his ideas (such as they are) enough to change his name to run for office. And I'd far rather vote for Goodspaceguy than the candidate named Pro-Life, who used to be Marvin Richardson.

    First he did what Goodspaceguy did, just changing his middle name, but when the Idaho Sec'y of State wouldn't list his middle name on the ballot, he changed the whole thing. Then the Lege thwarted his plans somewhat by requiring anyone who changed their names to that of a political position also had to have the note "(a person formerly known as_________)" on the ballot.

    So much for my plans to run as "Tax, Kill, and Eat the Obscenely Wealthy Pigfucking Bastards"

    MinAgain August 1, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    Sounds like a Republican loon we had here in Tennessee, who changed his middle name, so that the ballot read Byron "Low Tax" Looper. And knowing Tennesseans, he might have done pretty well at the polls, if he hadn't shot his Democratic opponent, who was a popular incumbent, in the head and killed him.

    Doktor Zoom August 1, 2011 at 4:06 pm

    I'm sure he only meant to survey the guy.

    emmelemm August 1, 2011 at 4:15 pm

    Are you… serious about the shot in the head thing? He didn't just metaphorically shoot him in the head, with votes?

    Because that is FUCKED UP.

    MinAgain August 1, 2011 at 4:22 pm

    Yup. Happened in 1998. Looper went out to Senator Burks' farm and shot him in the face. He was found dead in the front seat of his truck. At the time, a dead person could not appear on a Tennessee ballot, so Looper ended up being the only candidate for the seat, and he continued to campaign from jail. However, a write-in campaign was organized, and Senator Burks' wife Charlotte was elected to the seat. She is still a sitting state senator, one of the few Tennessee Democrats in the upper house.

    emmelemm August 1, 2011 at 4:32 pm

    I like that story, because it had a happy(ISH) ending.

    "At the time, a dead person could not appear…" – so dead people are now allowed on the ballot in TN? (Just checking!)

    Lascauxcaveman August 1, 2011 at 4:47 pm

    So much for my plans to run as "Tax, Kill, and Eat the Obscenely Wealthy Pigfucking Bastards"

    Just run in neighboring Washington state (it's nicer there anyway), Where a fellow named "Mike the Mover" has run on many a ballot over the last 20 years or so. No mention of his former legal name whatsoever.

    GOPCrusher August 1, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    There's the infamous Rev. Bud Green that runs for President under the campaign promise to legalize marijuana. I know, go figure.

    KenLayIsAlive August 1, 2011 at 9:03 pm

    But what about the plans to run as "Tax, Kill, and Eat the Obscenely Wealthy Pigfucking Bastards".

    Can we still do that?

    BaldarTFlagass August 1, 2011 at 3:39 pm

    I, BaldarTFlagass, want beautiful Thailand to become our 51st state.

    DashboardBuddha August 1, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    OT: When I was in college I worked with this dude who was a Vietnam vet…cool guy. His wife's father (racist fuckwad/religious looney/all-around asshole) was loaded, seriously loaded and when he died my co-worker stood to inherit a LOT of money. I asked him what he was going to do with all of that money and he said he was going to buy brothel in Bangkok and name it after the old man.

    V572 Hair of Destiny August 1, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    I say aw, Phuket!

    Cheng Mai was awfully nice; Nong Kai not so much.

    DahBoner August 1, 2011 at 5:44 pm

    Ho mai.

    Grief_Lessons August 1, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    Would you set foot on an orbiting space station built by sub-minimum wage government employees?

    DashboardBuddha August 1, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    I don't even like buying a cup of coffee from minimum wage baristas.

    ArmoredLibunatic August 1, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    I wouldn't even get on the goddamned astro-bus! Odds are it's being flown* by some half-conscious meth head.

    *read as "haphazardly careened"

    emmelemm August 1, 2011 at 4:15 pm

    Better still, sub-minimum wage government employees "with problems".

    V572 Hair of Destiny August 1, 2011 at 4:52 pm

    Don't we already have this w/TSA?

    zhubajie August 1, 2011 at 10:52 pm

    Imagine vacuum distilling toilet wine to pass the time!

    baconzgood August 1, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    "•Our economy is like a truck. Economics tells us how to operate and unsabotage our economic truck. Elect small-spending candidates who understand economics. Identify and vote against big spenders"

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH (whipe a tear from my eye) that's rich…. You make me laugh Michael.

    BaldarTFlagass August 1, 2011 at 3:40 pm

    Your move, Alvin Greene.

    EatsBabyDingos August 2, 2011 at 7:25 pm

    EEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

    arihaya August 1, 2011 at 3:41 pm

    did he got his resolutions idea from Xenu ? sending the poors to outer space and then blast in with volcano ?

    not that Dewey August 1, 2011 at 3:41 pm

    Is "unsabotaging a truck" anything like "unscrambling an egg"? If so, entropy fail.

    V572 Hair of Destiny August 1, 2011 at 4:53 pm

    Unringing a bell. Unshooting a bullet. Unsaying a cruel thing. Ya just cain't do'er.

    MinAgain August 1, 2011 at 3:45 pm

    Head tax sounds rather unpleasantly like head cheese, and nobody wants that nasty stuff on Spaceship Earth.

    SorosBot August 1, 2011 at 3:45 pm

    A new life awaits you in the off-wold colonies!

    BornInATrailer August 1, 2011 at 3:49 pm

    Would you like to know more?

    Doktor Zoom August 1, 2011 at 4:14 pm

    Best relatively-affordable movie tie-in merchandise EVAR

    axmxz August 1, 2011 at 3:46 pm

    I'm off to print ironic "Unsabotage the economic truck" hipster T-shirts.

    BornInATrailer August 1, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    Use the truck from Sanford & Son please.

    fuflans August 2, 2011 at 1:57 am

    yes of course you are and i would like one please.

    DashboardBuddha August 1, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    I wanted to be a Spaceguy
    That's what I wanted to be
    But now that I am a Spaceguy
    No one is voting for me

    metamarcisf August 1, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    In space, no one can hear you vote.

    littlebigdaddy August 1, 2011 at 3:55 pm

    At least he seems like a nice kind of crazy. Haven't had too much of that lately.

    SayItWithWookies August 1, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    Well he may be crazy, but I'm betting his tarp under the bridge wasn't paid for with a Fannie-Mae-backed $417,000 loan.

    anniegetyerfun August 7, 2011 at 11:09 pm

    I'll bet it was.

    BaldarTFlagass August 1, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    Who needs poor people in outer space?

    weejee August 1, 2011 at 4:05 pm

    Poor Goodspaceguy is already there, he just doesn't know it.

    weejee August 1, 2011 at 4:04 pm

    Goodspaceguy is a perennial candidate here in Warshington. He's back to running for the County Council, but he's run for the US Congress and Senate in the past. Although he runs on a somewhat incoherent platform, it is in so many ways much more sensible than say that of Christine O'Donnell.

    BaldarTFlagass August 1, 2011 at 4:06 pm

    With help from NASA, let’s start the seeds of several small and growing orbital space colonies in orbit around Earth, around the Moon, and around Mars, and develop lifeforms that are both organic and synthetic, and they can buzz around the galaxy and assimilate other lifeforms. Resistance will, of course, be futile.

    —Evilspaceguy

    SorosBot August 1, 2011 at 4:48 pm

    But what are Chaoticneutralspaceguy's plans?

    MissTaken August 1, 2011 at 4:08 pm

    "To learn more about my proposed plans, please also read my second blog: http://colonizeorbitalspace.blogspot.com"

    I'm more interested in what his first blog has to say. I bet that's where he keeps the really crazy stuff.

    Chet Kincaid August 1, 2011 at 4:10 pm

    "Unfortunately, much of our space money has been wasted. It is as if our leaders have not been educated in orbital space colonization."

    That's priceless. Bless his heart.

    DahBoner August 1, 2011 at 5:47 pm

    He's been educated about space via an alien probe?

    MissTaken August 1, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    "With help from NASA, let’s start the seeds of several small and growing orbital space colonies in orbit around Earth, around the Moon, and around Mars"

    Screw that, I only vote for candidates who want to start growing the orbital space colonies in orbit around Venus. Because I vote with my vagina.

    BaldarTFlagass August 1, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    This is why I wear rubber gloves when I vote—ya never know where that lever has been.

    SorosBot August 1, 2011 at 4:30 pm

    So is Marcus Bachmann pestering Michele to start orbital colonies around Uranus?

    Sorry, it's obvious, but I had to do it.

    MissTaken August 1, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    I'm female so I Marcus will not be interested in orbital colonies around Myanus

    Chet Kincaid August 1, 2011 at 6:16 pm

    Oral colonics around your WHAT?!

    Steverino247 August 1, 2011 at 4:59 pm

    A question for the apparently uniquely talented MissTaken:

    If you vote with your vagina, can you sing from your diaphragm?

    terriblyfamous August 1, 2011 at 4:12 pm

    "•Let’s establish a head tax to slow the population explosion (the cause of many problems) on our Spaceship Earth. A head tax would be more pleasant than the old, cruel methods of population control, such as starvation, disease, and war."

    Yowza, that one takes the cake for wacky. A head tax would be "more pleasant" than just cold killin' motherfuckers with plagues and battleaxes.

    MissTaken August 1, 2011 at 4:16 pm

    It's so hard to find a good space guy these days

    Doktor Zoom August 1, 2011 at 4:20 pm

    He wakes up every morning
    with a smile upon his face
    His natural exuberance
    spills out all over the place
    He's the urban spaceman
    He's intelligent and clean
    Know what I mean?

    Urban Spaceguy: He'd vote for YOU.

    BlueStateLibel August 1, 2011 at 4:23 pm

    He wants to elect "small-spending" candidates and then throw billions of taxpayer money into NASA…

    Chet Kincaid August 1, 2011 at 4:26 pm

    Your move, World B. Free.

    Lascauxcaveman August 1, 2011 at 4:31 pm

    He's right, Puerto Rico is beautiful. I love Puerto Rico!

    BaldarTFlagass August 1, 2011 at 4:47 pm

    Puerto Rico,
    You lovely island . . .
    Island of tropical breezes.
    Always the pineapples growing,
    Always the coffee blossoms blowing . . .

    Puerto Rico . . .
    You ugly island . . .
    Island of tropic diseases.
    Always the hurricanes blowing,
    Always the population growing . . .
    And the money owing,
    And the babies crying,
    And the bullets flying.
    I like the island Manhattan.
    Smoke on your pipe and put that in!

    Chet Kincaid August 1, 2011 at 6:25 pm

    The movie version lyrics are a much sharper-pointed stick:

    GIRLS
    I like to be in America
    OK by me in America
    Everything free in America
    BERNARDO
    For a small fee in America

    ANITA
    Buying on credit is so nice
    BERNARDO
    One look at us and they charge twice
    ROSALIA
    I'll have my own washing machine
    CHINO
    What will you have, though, to keep clean?

    ANITA
    Skyscrapers bloom in America
    ROSALIA
    Cadillacs zoom in America
    TERESITA
    Industry boom in America
    BOYS
    Twelve in a room in America

    ANITA
    Lots of new housing with more space
    BERNARDO
    Lots of doors slamming in our face
    ANITA
    I'll get a terrace apartment
    BERNARDO
    Better get rid of your accent…

    ANITA
    Life can be bright in America
    BOYS
    If you can fight in America
    GIRLS
    Life is alright in America
    BOYS
    If you're all white in America

    ANITA and CONSUELO
    Here you are free and you have pride
    BOYS
    Long as you stay on your own side
    ANITA and CONSUELO
    Free to be anything you choose
    BOYS
    Free to wait tables and shine shoes

    BERNARDO
    Everywhere grime in America
    Organised crime in America
    Terrible time in America
    ANITA
    You forget I'm in America!

    BERNARDO
    I think I go back to San Juan
    ANITA
    I know a boat you can get on! Bye bye!
    BERNARDO
    Everyone there will give big cheer!
    ANITA
    Everyone there will have moved here!

    johnnyzhivago August 1, 2011 at 4:31 pm

    Nice try, but the Founders never said anything about "space exploration", much less funding NASA.

    SorosBot August 1, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    Won't Mr. Goodspaceman please take the Byrds along for the ride? They won't do anything wrong.

    johnnyzhivago August 1, 2011 at 4:38 pm

    I'll support anyone who proposes that we build the Space Elevator, you know the million ton space station held in place by an unbreakable carbon fiber cable that stretches from Cape Canaveral up through the atmpsphere and also serves as an elevator pulley?

    Not that I think it's a good idea, mind you, but it would be an interesting way for the world to end if the million ton counterweight on earth broke loose and this giant slab of concrete were dragged around the earth randomly oblitherating everything in it's path….

    GOPCrusher August 1, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    Sounds like an enterprising way to clean up the 50+ years of space garbage that has accumulated in orbit.

    Chet Kincaid August 1, 2011 at 6:13 pm

    Space Roomba®!

    mumbly_joe August 1, 2011 at 4:38 pm

    Hmm, if this guy "understands economics" so much, how come he's misapplying it so badly?

    justkillmenow August 1, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    I do believe this man has been touched by the good Lord…with a 2×4 upside the head.

    not that Dewey August 1, 2011 at 4:54 pm

    Ladies and Gentlmen, we are floating in space.

    SenileAgitation August 1, 2011 at 5:35 pm

    This fellow sounds like he's tied in with Duck Nelson, the Intergalactic Supermarket and King Bob of Mars. All hail!

    DahBoner August 1, 2011 at 5:39 pm

    No one can hear Unemployed people scream in space…

    KenLayIsAlive August 1, 2011 at 9:16 pm

    Congress can't even hear them here on Earth.

    nanooknw August 1, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    I'm in Seattle and I've never heard of this guy. Sounds more reasonable than the
    tea potty folks. I'll only vote for him if he colonizes outer space with teabaggers.
    They're already space cadets, so it wouldn't be much of reach for them.

    KenLayIsAlive August 1, 2011 at 9:17 pm

    Haha. I'll totally pay a little extra tax to send the teabaggers into space. And to save money, we can forget about the habitable pods!

    alaninthecastro August 1, 2011 at 7:05 pm

    Doesn't sound like this guy is gonna need any help from NASA to establish his space colony.

    Also, if he establishes a "head tax," wouldn't that unfairly impact multi-headed aliens who, in all fairness, would still constitute just one population unit each?

    Ken Cuccinelli August 1, 2011 at 7:17 pm

    Let's see…he says he has a Bachelor's and a Master's, says what he minored in (economics) but not what his degrees are actually in.

    Five "educated stupid" bucks says this guy's an engineer of some kind.

    fletc3her August 1, 2011 at 7:32 pm

    He's a better candidate than Dino Rossi.

    Negropolis August 1, 2011 at 11:38 pm

    Talk about damning with faint praise.

    AFKensington August 1, 2011 at 10:37 pm

    Complex issues are best understood as truck analogies. The internet isn't a dump truck.

    zhubajie August 1, 2011 at 10:56 pm

    Maybe he never undresses?

    ttommyunger August 1, 2011 at 11:00 pm

    Izzzz possible.

    Negropolis August 1, 2011 at 11:24 pm

    What a strange mix for a platform. It's like a #1 combination platter at the Chinese place down the street.

    gurukalehuru August 2, 2011 at 6:18 am

    Well, I actually like his idea about letting D.C. residents be considered Marylanders for Federal elections and making Puerto Rico a state, although some D.C. residents, Marylanders and Puerto Ricans might disagree.
    Also, his use of the phrase Spaceship Earth indicates he's familiar with the work of Buckminster Fuller. I would like to see a Fullerianist party.
    But I'm opposed to a head tax unless the rich heads have to pay more than the poor heads.

    likethehours August 2, 2011 at 7:01 am

    I'd vote for this guy before Michelle Bachman, way before Rick Santorum, before Jim DeMint and I would repeat vote for this guy before any Mitch McConnell

    CalamityJames August 2, 2011 at 8:56 am

    You know, I always liked Joel better.

    Pragmatist2 August 2, 2011 at 10:19 am

    The "Head Tax" is a great idea but how would it work with Siamese twins? And these "small spenders," exactly how small do they have to be? 5'6"? 5'2"?

    horsedreamer_1 August 2, 2011 at 11:12 am

    Spiffy.

    gizdal August 2, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    i am willing to pay a head tax if it will guarantee me some head. where do i apply?
    in outer space? great!

    comrad_darkness August 2, 2011 at 4:53 pm

    Well, at least he closed strong.

    And here I thought our economy was a series of tubes.

    Isyaignert August 4, 2011 at 1:06 am

    This nit wit runs in every election. Trouble is that he's not far from the Republicon party's platform on any given issue. Best to keep him an oddity and pass on his election. Keep trying tho, Space Guy, you're always good for a laugh and we do appreciate that!
    Cheers, ya nit wit.

    anniegetyerfun August 7, 2011 at 11:05 pm

    How is it that I am JUST SEEING THIS NOW?

    Crank_Tango August 1, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    shit, I'd stir the compost pile for a bj.

    MissusBarry August 1, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    Me, too, apparently. What can I say, I'm a pushover. I think he's only ever been denied because I was hungover and quite certain that vomiting would be almost instantaneous. I may also be bad at censoring myself.

    MinAgain August 1, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    Yup. The law was changed the next year to read:

    (e) If a candidate dies within forty days before the election, the decedent's name shall remain on the ballot. If the deceased candidate receives the necessary votes to otherwise be elected, then a vacancy shall exist. The vacancy shall be filled as otherwise provided for by law.

    Senator Charlotte Burks was one of the sponsors.

    GOPCrusher August 1, 2011 at 5:04 pm

    Should of moved the corpse to Missouri. He could of beat John Ashcroft.

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