thanks for the memories

Debt Ceiling Party Finally Shows Signs of Hazy Come Down

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Oh look, Washington’s McDebtpocalypsegeddon inferno dance party is finally winding down. Or is it? Can it actually be true? Here is Obama claiming that the fiesta keg is all but empty, and boy does he look tired/hungover/ like he made out with John Boehner a few more time than he wanted to. A deal! A debt deal has been reached. What sort of “party favors” will America take home from this particular congressional coke-n-hookers sleepover party binge?

Uh, let’s see, spending cuts of about $2.4 trillion and a coupon for a bag of fried donut holes, everyone! “The result would be the lowest level of annual domestic spending since Dwight Eisenhower was president,” Obama said. How about a return to Eisenhower-level taxes for the wealthy? No, the Democrats lost their balls and the Jell-O shots contest yet again. What else? Oh, America gets another bipartisan debt commission that everyone will ignore. Bad party favor, America gets one of those every year. Is there anything fun for the American people in the goody bag? No, just a little note that says, “the global economy will not collapse tomorrow, you’re welcome.”

Pending final passage, the agreement marked a dramatic reach across party lines that played out over six months and several rounds of negotiating, interspersed by periods of intense partisanship.

“Sometimes it seems our two sides disagree on almost everything,” Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said in floor remarks.

“But in the end, reasonable people were able to agree on this: The United States could not take the chance of defaulting on our debt, risking a United States financial collapse and a world-wide depression.”

Both Houses still have to vote on this, but as far as the markets are concerned, the Panic Is Over. Don’t forget to sign the guestbook on the way out, etc etc. [AP]

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  1. Barb

    Fuck you very much, Boehner! No one was impressed with your peacockery. You can hop back to the toad farm now, Cantor. Looks like the Tea Party just lost their dynamite belt and they can't blow everything up. Thank-you to those who stood up to them.
    Pajama Jeans ® for everyone!

    1. Barbs_Hubby

      I'm still trying to figure out if the studs on the Pajama Jeans are real. And I'm trying to figure out if the "Council of Twelve" are real studs or not as well Oh hell, let's just buy a bird feeder tomorrow. At least we'll know somone's getting fed.

      1. Barb

        I give you an upfist. It's driven by the guilt that I haven't started your dinner yet.
        Are you my pretend computer hubby or is it something deeper?

        1. PristineODummy

          You know, just before he changed his name, I was all, "Must kill self now. All my fap dreams have fallen by the wayside." I'm relieved that your hubby continues in ignorance of the fappage/homage you have earned on the Wonkettes.

    2. pinkocommi

      1 trillion in spending cuts and no revenue increases in order to obtain a vote that has for our nation's history been completely routine: Go Obama! Keeping it ballsy as always. It is time you come out of the closet as a fucking Republican.

      1. Barb

        Um, I didn't say that we did win. Reread the post. Usually, when it starts with "fuck you very much" it's not as festive as you would think, eh?

  2. flamingpdog

    Barry Obama, the black Jimmy Carter. Smart, but out of his league as Preznit. No snark, just the sadz. I wish I had your upbeat, Barb.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      Sorry, not seeing it. Last I checked Jimmy didn't get a fraction of the legislation Obama has already put through – and he didn't have a third of the country convinced he was the Antichrist (at least until St. Ronnie got his crap factory up and running).

      1. Barb

        Jimmy Carter is a far better "ex President" than he was POTUS. Great man and great humanitarian.

        1. flamingpdog

          Agreed wholeheartedly. But I still believe Obama would have made a much better Senate Majority Leader than President.

          1. BerkeleyBear

            Maybe, but that would likely have required him to wait at least 20 years. That's why guys like Daschle were encouraging him to think of the WH back in 2004-05.

          2. flamingpdog

            Sorry to be so late, been out of town for three days. But Daschle was encouraging him the think of the WH back in 2004-05? Do you know what the first thing Daschle did when he left Congress? Following his reelection defeat, Daschle took a position with the lobbying arm of the K Street law firm Alston & Bird. He also got in trouble with the IRS on several occasions, for not declaring consulting income and inappropriate charitible. What does that say about Obama? I still think Obama is a good man underneath it all, but he doesn't have what it takes to be President, and he is also a poor judge of character, too (Daschle, Rahm Emanuel, Larry Summers, Tim Geithner).

        2. BerkeleyBear

          My wife has basically everything he's written since, and many of the things written about him. We've both done work with Habitat and I have a deep respect for his willingness to walk his faith in a way the right wing evangelicals have no clue about. I wish every President had contributed as much to world peace and eradicating poverty once out of office.

          All that said, he just wasn't good at legislating. Talking to world leaders, then and now – awesome. Just not domestic legislation, for whatever reason.

          1. Barb

            B. Bear, thank you and your wife for the dedication to your community. I sincerely appreciate the work you do with Habitat for Humanity. You are my personal hero. With the homes you build comes pride and responsibility for people that banks would turn away. You are both a blessing, thanks!

      2. Nothingisamiss

        See: my previous comment to you. If you could provide me with reality checks today as the smug Fox newsers I work with (every last damn one of them save the "support staff" of intelligent African Americans) crow about this I'd appreciate it. All I'll hear all day is that Barry is a muslin who wants to raise their taxes (No, you're not a billionaire or an oil company, you fuckers.) Also, many will be happy that this socialist kenyan nigerian has been stopped from his secret plan to destroy America with a social safety net and clean air and water.

        1. flamingpdog

          I appreciate your pain of having to listen to Freepers all day at work – I'm fortunate to work in a largely progressive office. But should we let the delusional thinking and paranoia of the Fox News lovers color our attempt to get a realistic view of who Obama is and what he is actually capable of doing as President?

    2. Pragmatist2

      He's not Jimmy Carter. Carter' was not just weak, he was arrogant. Obama is closer to Woodrow Wilson. He has no touch for power. Still he is a smart man and a decent man. And he is the man who can beat a Republican in 2012. The only contender with a shot is Romney – if there isn't a third party. So let's not cut off our nose to spite our face.

      1. PristineODummy

        Exactly. Right now, he's looking like the best shot the working and middle classes have to not being eviscerated and spread out as chum for the sharks. He's looking like the ONLY person who could run for the WH and win. I can't think of a single other person. If you can, please let me know.

      2. flamingpdog

        I would posit that Obama is arrogant, also. He gets more upset when he is challenged by the people who elected him than he does by the Tea Party insanity. That is the position of a man who thinks he has all the answers, and his followers just better get in line with his thinking.

    3. tessiee

      "Smart, but out of his league as Preznit. "

      I would amend this to "smart, but too ethical and nice to be an effective Preznit".
      I don't think President Carter had quite the same level of foaming-at-the-mouth opposition, though.

      1. flamingpdog

        I'm inclined to agree with you tessiee; to a large degree that is what I meant by "out of his league as Preznit". I also believe, however, he has an anxiety disorder (I'm not a psychiatrist – I just play one on the internet) is stress adverse, which is why he "compromises" even before negotiations start, in the hopes of "defusing" the stress of the negotiations with the right, and why he avoids confrontation with the bullies on the right.

  3. Respitetini

    So now that Barack Obama is to the right of absolutely everyone, can progressive Democrats stop going on about "lesser of two evils?" At this point we're looking at electrodes on your balls being a "lesser evil" than waterboarding.

    1. DoktorThompson

      electrodes on your balls being a "lesser evil" than waterboarding

      I can tell you, empirically, that this statement is false.

    2. comrad_darkness

      He is capable of finding someone to oversee consumer rights who isn't Dan Fucking Quayle, so yes, still lesser of two evils.

      1. Respitetini

        Sure, but if he doesn't have the stones to see that person confirmed, then what's the point?

    3. Lascauxcaveman

      can progressive Democrats stop going on about "lesser of two evils?"

      So when it come to voting Obama/Biden or Palin/Bachman in 2012, you're going with the latter, because, y'kow, what the hell? Good plan.

      I've never voted in any election in my entire life when "the lesser of two evils" wasn't the only choice I had. I don't expect that to change any time soon.

  4. memzilla

    Did anyone really doubt that, in the end, the Goldman Cabal would not pick up the phone and say "Don't F**k With The Money!" ?

    1. flamingpdog

      But that happened weeks ago. It's the Teatards in Congress, not the Wall Street Rethugs that have been keeping this dog-and-pony show going. Boner is just trying to keep his job by bending over in front of the Teatards. He will be gone shortly, and Eric Cancer of VA will be in his job. And Obama will be impeached (but not convicted).

      1. Negropolis

        Yep. Wall Street round these idiots up, and now they can't find out how to unwind them. They almost indiscriminately blew up the entire economy, Wall Street, included, and I bet you Wall Street is second-guessing who they let loose on Congress. God, I hope so.

  5. samsuncle

    The dems and repubs MAY have reached a deal but I am stilled pissed at both parties for not reaching an agreement months ago and doing it without all the drama.

    1. Barb

      I'm pissed that the GOP, Tea Baggers, et al. are acting like the request to raise the debt ceiling is something that has happened for the first time under Obama's watch. It's happened before and will happen again.

        1. PristineODummy

          Exactly. I can't find any other reason for them to turn this into such a fucking nightmare except that the President is Presidenting While Black. God knows they've raised it umpteen billion times before now. Seems to me all it took to raise it was for someone, anyone, to fart. Except this time.

      1. PuckStopsHere

        It has been raised 78 times since 1960, 49 times by repubes, 29 by our no-spine side. It was raised 17 times by Zombie Reagan.

          1. PuckStopsHere

            Somebody did say "Zombie Reagan". Niiiice! (By the way, the grossest or, most gross, aspect of that cartoon was not the decaying flesh of Zombie Reagan, it was learning that Wisconsin has instituted an official "Ronald Reagan Day").

          2. BerkeleyBear

            I just read an obit about an LA business type/philanthropist, and found he died at UCLA Ronald Reagan Medical Center. Had no damn idea they'd renamed what used to be Harbor UCLA after the Demented One. Is nothing safe?

        1. Barb

          Thanks for the stats Puck. I Googled it and got lost in a sea of information that didn't answer my question. You rock!

    2. Negropolis

      This isn't one of those "both sides" are to blame because they aren't working together bullshit. Not even close. This is "the Republicans hijacked a routine piece of legislation (the debt ceiling, something Reagan raised 18-effing times) to try ram their personal fantasy of America through a brick ceiling" bullshit. Where the Dems messed up specifically was not that they didn't negotiate with these terrorists, but that they agreed up front to tie a routine debt ceiling vote to a budgeting issue. Once you do that, you've already set yourself to play on their field. You can't walk that back.

      The President, out of the gate, should have laid down an ultimatum very early that he wanted a clean debt ceiling vote, the usual one-page piece of legislation they've been passing for decades, and then let the Republicans call his bluff.

      The tea party does wind up looking bad for this, but if the Dems wouldn't have played along, the damage to them would have been much less than it is, now. Now, both parties look culpable, and it didn't have to be that way.

      1. Nothingisamiss

        My question all along is "WHY DIDN'T HE DO THIS VERY FUCKING THING?" Hubris? Choots-paw? A chance to get everyone to play together? Wtf, Barry?

        1. Swampgas_Man

          Me and my dad were talking yesterday, and he was actually reminiscing about the "good old days" of Lyndon Johnson. The arm-twister. Far as I can tell, if Obama tried twisting arms, he'd tie his own in a knot.

      2. tessiee

        Posts like this are why I follow you.
        In three short, succinct paragraphs, you've cleared up the entire issue.
        Thank you.

    1. Barb

      They need their Hoverroounds to make it to their "goiter loiters" without having to get off their fat asses.

      As I type this, there is a "take away Obama's blank check" commercial. Let's take away the corporate welfare from the super rich and their ability to write tiny checks to politicians to avoid having to write checks to the IRS.

    2. PristineODummy

      Actually, according to TPM, cuts will be to *providers only* not to Medicare recipients. One of the groups slated for such cuts is providers of machinery, such as … hoverounds. Get ready for wails of misery from the teabaggage when they realize they'll have to *walk* anywhere.

      Say … could this be why only between 10 and 100 people are showing up at teabagger "rallies" any more?

    1. PristineODummy

      Exactly what is so grotesquely immoral about this? I'm not happy about the fact that this foofaraw occurred, but I'm not seeing anything terrible for Democrats/libs/lefties/progressives in the compromise.

  6. mavenmaven

    Nancy Pelosi may still save the day, they say. At least someone in Washington has balls.

        1. Negropolis

          Wait, how is crashing the nation's economy head-long into the debt ceiing "saving the day"? I'd simple go for passing a bill that gives us enough wiggle room to pull one on the GOP when it comes up for discussing the cuts, but doing nothing is far worse than doing something.

        2. Chet Kincaid

          What the fuck is that supposed to mean!? Is she willing to let the country go into default? Because she has NO LEVERAGE to make anyone else go along with what she wants.

          What we are seeing on all sides is furious vote-counting to make sure that the fucking thing gets passed without Teatards and Progressives having to go on-record as supporting it, so that they all get their precious political fig-leaves.

  7. __kth__

    Given that the teabaggers were on the verge of creaming their floor-burned BVDs at the thought of a default, there was really no other way this was going to end. That the right wing is a terrorist faction that cannot be negotiated with is something a sleepy America is going to have to learn the hard way (much harder than this deal, which is probably only the beginning).

    1. Dashboard_Jesus

      WAKE UP SHEEPLE!1!1! oh wait 'Merkan Idol is on and the football pre-season is about to start, be right back…

    2. LetUsBray

      "That the right wing is a terrorist faction that cannot be negotiated with is something a sleepy America is going to have to learn the hard way (much harder than this deal, which is probably only the beginning)."

      The most This, I'm afraid.

  8. Laughitoff22

    I for one am glad we can all go back to eating and spending ourselves to death now without having to pay attention to this "news" and "crisis."

        1. flamingpdog

          Can't figure out the damn NY Times website – 4 out of 5 times they let me in with no prompt for my password, which I forgot a long time ago. It's a picture of Thomas the Tank Engine going off the track.

  9. SayItWithWookies

    Fuck Boehner and McConnell and the Republicans. Boehner as speaker pushed a bill for a clean debt limit increase under rules that required a 2/3 majority and it failed. Then he refused to court a single Democratic vote, which meant that he was entirely beholden to the most extreme demands of the teabaggers — by his own choice. And how are the goddamn teabaggers taking a compromise entirely in their lunatic fringe favor? Oh, here we go: A Victory for the Party of Treason. That's from the great thinkers at Tea Party Nation.

    But I'm not pissed at President Obama — he got a shitty hand and made what he could of it. I don't think anyone else could've gotten better results. But we've seen one thing: the most John Boehner and the Republican House are capable of doing is stopping stuff from happening. That's it. Fuck them.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      Jesuse Christ couldn't build a house out of the shit pile the GOP was insisting on (never mind the Ben Nelsons of the Dem party who wouldn't support a clean bill if there were cuts in the offing).
      I'm pretty okay with the result, given the alternatives – but I'm royally pissed at the legions of morons who believed the TP assholes when they ran on a jobs platform. I can only hope those people will either stay home or get some sense as they see the TP ready to sink the whole economy for spite – and with nary a job bill in sight.

    2. vulpes82

      Haven't you heard, Hillary would have kicked the GOP in the balls! We'd have single-payer, world peace, gay marriage in the Constitution, and a booming economy if only we'd chosen the bitch over the Negro!

      1. Radiotherapy®

        Yeah, remember when she stood up to those bullies and voted against the War Powers Act? whoops,

        "Saddam Hussein and his outlaw regime pose a grave threat to the region, the world, and the United States. Inaction is not an option, disarmament is a must," Bush said.
        The House earlier Thursday passed the resolution 296-133 after three days of debate.
        Under intense pressure from the White House, which wanted a big bipartisan majority in Congress to strengthen its hand in its confrontation with Iraq, the Democratic-led Senate passed the war powers resolution, 77-23.

        Under intense pressure from the White House….hahahaha….dissolves into an inconsolable pool of tears.

        1. Negropolis

          It actually was under intense pressure from the White House. I'm a young'un, so I don't have a whole lot of personal experience from history to go on, but I haven't seen groupthink and group pressure like what happened immediately within the year or two right after 9/11. The passage of TARP was pretty close, but that's about it. I remember arguing against the Iraq War while in high school, and remember how difficult it was to hold that view at the time. I'd even considered at the time that Saddam may have had WMD, but still didn't support a military intervention, and looking back, now, I realize how pacifist (i.e. not mainstream) that could have seemed at the time.

          There were some good Democrats who under normal circumstances would have never voted for something like that that ended up voting for authorizing Bush to use force if necessary. I stand for those few in Senate who did end up standing up against the president, but I have some level of sympathy for ther Dems that caved to the pressure. I'm not talking the conservative and blue dogs, either. They'd have voted for it regardless.

    3. Chet Kincaid

      Yes. There are a lot of people here and elsewhere who fantasize that if Obama somehow had "backbone" he could magically have come up with a different outcome. Those people don't seem to understand how our government works any more than the Teatards do. The bottom line is that conservatives have an exploitable constituency who are smart enough to vote, but too dumb to vote in their own interests. No amount of insults aimed at Obama or drunk-dialing Hillary is going to change that.

      1. natoslug

        I think the argument for those of us who want more out of Obama is that he should be working harder at P.R. — set the tone for this latest clusterfuck so that the halfwit general constituency views this as dems in the senate and congress fighting for the rights of everyday people against the treasonous barbarian hordes of the tea party. The high road does not seem to work anymore; he needs to let average voters know that Boehner's plan involves killing their puppies and grandmothers, skullfucking them, then wearing their skins as capes. Hmmm . . . it may be time to step away from the box of old scifi/fantasy books the kids dug out of the barn this weekend . . .

      2. Negropolis

        You will literally off any apologism for anything this guy has ever done. It's so much like clockwork it's become amusing. He could sacrifice and infant on the White House portico, and you'd be browbeating any who dared to question the efficacy and morality of it.

    4. MrFizzy

      I agree with the fuck them part of it, but Obama is a goddamn pussy. He's the president, so even if he gets a shitty hand he shouldn't just throw it on the table and say 'you win' without at least trying. At a minimum he could have called out these baggers who are doing such a great job fucking the country. Instead, he's more worried about getting re-elected. Notice the only concession he got was to delay the next increase until after the election. What a disappointment.

  10. not that Dewey

    That AP article was some pretty weak gruel. The writers used the phrase "hundreds of federal programs" twice, as though that answered everybody's questions.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      It is what you get when you write by form document and macro. I read a sidebar under the impact on the states, and it was idiotically bland.

      1. not that Dewey

        But why should journalists have an interest in this? Oh yeah! They practically created the entire issue by saying DEFICIT DEBT DEFICIT DEBT through every republican mouthpiece they could find for the last six months.

    2. tessiee

      "The writers used the phrase "hundreds of federal programs" twice, as though that answered everybody's questions."

      Peter Griffin: He's being looked at by top men.
      Lois Griffin: But Peter–
      Peter Griffin: Top. Men.

  11. Mumbletypeg

    congressional coke-n-hookers sleepover party binge

    File this development under: Wasted On the Way
    indexed in: Still Flying Over the Cuckoo's Nest
    cross-referenced with: If I Had A Hammer, I'd Actually Prefer a Cudgel (it sounds meaner, like I'm feeling right now)

      1. Mumbletypeg

        the last I referenced would be (robbing) Peter, (to pay) Paul, with a little Mar(t)y(r) thrown in

        but your suggestions are all equally deplorable targets for my flying cudgel if they get in the way, yes

  12. johnnyzhivago

    "Reasonable people were willing to agree…. If we fuck around any longer this could impact Goldman Sachs and the rest of the people who really count"

  13. ManchuCandidate

    Lionel Ritchie's 80s Cheez seems appropriate here…

    What is happening here?
    Something is going on
    That's not quite clear
    Somebody shut up the right
    They're gonna have a dumb deal
    It's starting tonight

    Oh, what a feeling!
    When they're dealing the debt ceiling
    The room is dumb…that's bad
    Joy of default came
    From the Teabaggers
    People were thinking
    To grab pitch forks
    Ooh, it looks like everybody
    Is taking a breath

    Everybody starts to lose control
    When the music is right
    If you see somebody hanging around
    Don't get up right
    The only thing we wanna do tonight
    Is go round and round
    And turn upside down
    Come on, let's get down

  14. FakaktaSouth

    Where's Nancy? She can do something still, a little bit? No?
    "I'm tired,
    tired of playing the game,
    ain't it a crying shame?
    I'm so tired,
    God dammit I'm tired!"

    1. memzilla

      Thanks for the Blazing Saddles reference. The Rethuglicans have basically sat around the campfire and had a farting contest.

  15. johnnyzhivago

    Anyone else suspicious this was all a giant fraud intended to distract everyone from the beginning of the dismantling of Medicare and Social Security – in order words to shift the story to "we've got to do this to save ourselves".

    1. starfanglednut

      Exactly. A debacle staged by the corporations funding bagger campaigns, to convince us to bend over and take cuts to services like good little citizens, while those same corporations outsource our jobs and enjoy their tax breaks.

    2. tessiee

      "Anyone else suspicious this was all a giant fraud intended to distract everyone from the beginning of the dismantling of Medicare and Social Security"

      Yes, but then I also suspect that the sun *may* be hot.

  16. Ansnarkist

    At least since we're not taxing the rich, they'll be sure to create a bunch of jobs out of gratefulness. That's how human nature works, right? Everyone always treats the sniveling cowards that hand them everything with respect. Right?

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Oh yeah, lots of new jobs to choose from:

      Pool boy
      Yard boy

      Ummm …. that's all I got.

        1. Biel_ze_Bubba

          The uber-rich don't hire Wal-Mart associates — they just collect (favorably taxed) dividends on Wal-Mart stock.

      1. Ansnarkist

        Food taster to make sure the Chinese have not poisoned our King's food with a lethal dose of MSG.


        Making tea at the BBC.

        Okay, that's all I got now.

    2. tessiee

      "That's how human nature works, right? Everyone always treats the sniveling cowards that hand them everything with respect. Right?"

      Well, it's worked perfectly for every relationship that *I've* ever…
      *narrows eyes suspiciously*
      WAIT a minute…

  17. Radiotherapy®

    No change in the Bush/Obama tax cuts, the initial snips at Medicare and Social Security, and military spending stands untouched. I can't believe the teagaggers caved.

  18. johnnyzhivago

    Good news!

    For our trouble, everyone in America gets a coupon good for a free meal at Denny's…. With the purchase of an equal or more expensive meal, of course.

    1. Barb

      Yes, but we still have to look at Boehner and Cantor, two dudes who smell worse than the sink at a Waffle House.

    2. flamingpdog

      That's for the middle class only. The poorz get a coupon for two free meals at Denny's.

        1. flamingpdog

          Actually, maybe my snark was too subtle. I was thinking of the same joke (only the punch line was set in Philadelphia) when I made that comment.

  19. DaSandman

    All made up bullshit by these fat white scooter bound racists and their billionaire masters.

    When will progressives learn to be ruthless? To get street cred, you have to, at least once, have hit somebody. Think not? Ask the gheys, Stonewall was a huge turning point. At points during the riots the cops were running from them.

    And on a positive note the current crop of right wing terrorists are a target rich environment…

  20. neiltheblaze

    Oh good. For a minute there I thought Barry would go all 14th Amendment on their asses. The Republicans finally said "OK" to the sell out instead.

  21. PuckStopsHere

    Not so fast…'Bagger Sen from UT vows filibuster. I can't do the linky thing, but it's on CNN w/Wolf Blitzer. Rendering it very difficult to watch/stomach, I know. But it is out there.

    1. flamingpdog

      Oh, this puppy is definitely not over. That was apparent from even the earliest news stories about the "agreement". More beer, waiter, please!

      1. Negropolis

        You know what's even more horrible? This guy is related to both Mark and Tom Udall.

        Good god, it's even more incetuous than that. From Wiki:

        Growing up Lee went to school with Senator Strom Thurmond's daughter and lived three doors down from Senator Robert Byrd. He was friends with Harry Reid's son Josh. Senator Reid was the Lees' home teacher, a spiritual leader in the Mormon faith. Lee recalls as a child how Senator Reid once locked him and Josh in their garage as a practical joke.

        Not only that, but the guy is a constitutional lawyer (I know, WTF, right?), and clerked for Sam Alito.

        I hate Washington this much.

        1. tessiee

          " Lee recalls as a child how Senator Reid once locked him and Josh in their garage as a practical joke."

          Too bad he eventually let him out.
          [low hanging fruit, I know; but I gotta have my fun where I can find it]

        2. flamingpdog

          You realize that Mark and Tom Udall are Mormons, too? Their fathers, Morris and Stewart were from Arizona, however, not Utah (and Arizona before it became as nutty as Utah). My daughter, who is a convert to the LDS church, told me once that even Mormons from outside Utah think that Utah Mormons are kind of weird.

  22. Negropolis

    Yay! Race to the bottom! Austerity-palooze!

    I wonder how President-General Eisenhower would have handled the Tea Party? My guess is "not gently".

    1. flamingpdog

      Slightly OT, but I'm pretty sure Ike would have given the boot to smarmy ass-kissing bullshitters like the "beloved" General Petraeus. Ike had the advantage of working his own way up the military food chain, and he had no delusions about how most generals get to the top. If Obama just had the sense to tell the joint chiefs that he is the commander-in-chief and they can kiss HIS ass, you'd see a shitload of puckered lips around the conference table.

      1. BerkeleyBear

        Hate to rain on your parade there, but Ike's major talent as he went up the chain was being a really charming guy. When he got to the top his unique ability was to tolerate the smarmy assholes on all sides of him without wanting to shoot them. He put up with Patton, Montgomery, and the Air Lords.

        Yes, he fired MacArthur, but only as a last resort. And don't forget, he didn't exactly shoot down Joseph McCarthy (it took both McCarthy's overreaching and the bravery of others to do that).

          1. BerkeleyBear

            D'oh. Sorry I blew that, although (along with sending advisors to Vietnam and fostering the military industrial complex he later decried) further evidence Ike wasn't likely to turn a flamethrower on the Tea Party.

        1. flamingpdog

          I agree to a certain degree. Obviously Ike made it to the top by kissing some ass himself, but as I said before, he had no delusions about the bozos he worked with, hence the famous military/industrial complex speech (on his way out of office, of course). I just think Obama's lack of military background may have robbed him of the cynicism about the military I'm pretty sure Ike developed, and he needs. Ike did pull us out of Korea, and fairly quickly. I don't see Obama doing that anywhere, and wonder why.

    2. Frost/Nixon/Robocop

      Eisenhower defeated Robert Taft for the '52 nomination, the Tea Party standard bearer of his time.

      1. flamingpdog

        Umm, maybe, but Taft was much more of a standard conservative corporate Republican. He wasn't a nutcase. The Teatards are just living in a different world where facts are irrelevant and if an idea pops up in their head and it feels good, then it must be true. I have great love and sympathy for the metally ill (have some in my family), but they shouldn't be holding higher office.

    1. SayItWithWookies

      Glued to the internet like the fuckin' news junkies we are. Quick, say you can stop whenever you want.

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        I can stop whenever I want … just as soon as I check the news channels one more time….

    2. flamingpdog

      I, for one, am steadfastly waiting for Sara Benincasa to show up. Hope (although not Hopey) springs eternal!

      1. Barb

        I know Sara, be sure to set up a meeting with you and a Tic Tac before she shows up. Put on a shirt with a collar. She doesn't care how you are dressed, she just wants something to drag your ass around with. Make sure that you have a "safe word" that is agreed upon beforehand. Once she chains your ass to the stove and starts beating you with a curtain rod she gets a little carried away. SO well worth it!

          1. Barb

            Quit the bitching! To be spanked by her is like spending the whole day at the mall, eating the middles out of Cinnabons and being paid triple time for it.

          2. flamingpdog

            Actually, I'm not sure Sara likes me. I bought something from her on Etsy when she was into selling her homemade stuff there, but then she wrote me back and said she lost it, and refunded my money. I waited a couple of weeks and then wrote her back saying, hey, we're all adults here, just tell me if you decided you wanted to keep it or give it to a friend, and all will be cool. I don't think she took it very well.

          3. Barb

            Nummy Muffin Coco Butter, she doesn't actually wear those panties she sells. Don't you ever watch C-Span, where Barack takes 12 pens to sign his name, just once, and then hands them to an aide?

            Ya know something, I can't help you here. My allegiance is to Sara. Caveat thong emptor!=Buyer beware the panties.

            I've said too much.

          4. flamingpdog

            Actually, I have the sadz and embarassment to say, it wasn't panties, it was an apron.

          5. Barb

            Was it one of those vintage aprons with the bib and the frills and the cinched waist? I love those!

          6. flamingpdog

            Sorry, I've been out of town for almost three days. My recollection is that the apron had a bunch of buttons on it, for no apparent reason. I thought my daughter would get a kick out of it, because she's very bright, but kind of weird herself, and also like Sara, a former agoraphobic.

  23. bumfug

    But hey, we get a fucking Super Congress! When there's a political emergency they'll just flash the Batshit Signal into the sky and Reid, Boehner, McConnell and Pelosi will put on their masks and fly out to save the day. Or if they already have their masks on they can unzip them, remove the ball plugs and THEN go save the day. Oh, who am I kidding? We're fucked.

    1. tessiee

      "we get a fucking Super Congress! When there's a political emergency they'll just flash the Batshit Signal into the sky and Reid, Boehner, McConnell and Pelosi will put on their masks and fly out to save the day."

      And by "political emergency", we mean Obama trying to do anything, anything whatsoever, including things that Bush instantly got handed to him on a platter without trying.

  24. axmxz

    That's it, I'm unsubscribing from Obama's family newsletter. See you when you grow some balls, Hopey.

    1. MrFizzy

      In a way it makes me actually like the 'how do you like the hopey/changey thing now?' – to tell you the truth, I kind of agree with Sarah, and starting to have doubts about BO's real allegiance. I'm not sure why the Repubelickins would want to have him out of office – he seems perfect for them just where he is.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Thank god! Because they'd be, all, "What's that? I don't have a couch. I have a chesterfield, though."

    2. Negropolis

      Harper is wondering why you don't have money for a hotel room. He'd offer his couch, but bootstraps, Americans, bootstraps!

    1. weejee

      Indeed. As if the riche were panicking at all. It was Krugmann class and shoulda been anyone living paycheck-to-paycheck, especially those with a mortgage or a credit card balance. Instead, most just were saying huh?

    2. weejee

      Indeed. As if the riche were panicking at all. It was Krugmann class that was wetting its pants but it shoulda been anyone living paycheck-to-paycheck, especially those with a mortgage or a credit card balance. Instead, most just were saying huh?

    1. Barb

      The rest of us just got fucked by the gubbmint. They tried to go all "back door" on us and we stayed the course and refused.
      Congrats on your afterglow. Go and buy your woman pancakes while your credit card has less than a 35% interest rate. Don't forget to tip your waitress. She may be your reference for your next job interview.

    2. fuflans

      this is exactly the comment i was going to make (and exactly my evening) but then you made it and cheers!

  25. Dashboard_Jesus

    Well it can't be TOO bad if that compliant ol' RINO Turtle McConnell approves cuz he's really an *ally* of Barry's and has been working behind the scenes to make sure Obama got EVERYTHING he wanted, at least according to the 1st comment on The Hill article…srsly, I read the first 5 comments and had to leave…we are so TOTALLY fucked if approx 50% of the country (100% of the morons!) think like this asshole!

    "McConnell is a good and loyal man for the president. He is truly bipartisan aka RINO. Any senator joining with McConnell is a stooge." BY Old Atlantic on 07/31/2011

  26. donner_froh

    the agreement marked a dramatic reach across around

    So everyone but the lords of finance capital and their political lackeys get fucked in the butt and have to be happy with a quick stroke off.

    How shocking.

    1. Negropolis

      I'm glad I'm the only one that didn't read "across" as "around." lol That's probably the only time I'll laugh all night.

  27. Biel_ze_Bubba

    I fully expect some particularly asshole-ish teabagging House Repugnicants to fuck it up.

    Which would give Obama the chance to shove the 14th Amendment up their greasy asses, and come away as the hero.

    1. Negropolis

      That's my fantasy, that Obama still gets to end up using the 14th Amendment like a cudgel, swinging it like some Medieval warlord and just absolutely smashing shit with it, and then daring the House to round up votes for an impeachment.

    2. tessiee

      "Which would give Obama the chance to shove the 14th Amendment up their greasy asses, and come away as the hero."

      Well, aren't YOU the apple-cheeked optimist!

  28. guangho

    You know in order to be a successful negotiator, you have to walk away from the table with SOMETHING.*

    *jizz on your lips doesn't count

  29. donner_froh

    Vice President Joe Biden, who played an important part in this weekend's negotiations, agreed. He tweeted, "Compromise makes a comeback."

    Giving the bloated bourgeoisie everything they wanted has never left us so it doesn't need to come back.

    1. MrFizzy

      Oh yeah, compromise made a comeback alright. The Demopussies compromised, and the repubelickins watched and laughed.

      1. LiveToServeYa

        Certainly our friend's wife, Incontinentius Buttus, could be played by most people in Congress.

  30. LetUsBray

    A big difference between us and Rome circa AD 410 is that our Visigoths are duly elected legislators. Pretty disappointed in Barack Honorius Obama, too.

  31. Frost/Nixon/Robocop

    It seems like when the Democrats reach across the aisle, it's only to give the Republicans a hand job.

  32. JoshuaNorton

    the agreement marked a dramatic reach across party lines that played out over six months and several rounds of negotiating, interspersed by periods of intense partisanship.

    Puleeeze!! The "reach around across" had all the enthusiasm of Willy Wonka trying to caution Augustus Gloop away from the chocolate river.

  33. Barb

    Off topic, just bopped over to Sarah Palin's Twitter account to watch the carnage and saw this:
    "this tribute to Sarah is by far my very favorite. Dare not watch it if you have eye makeup on! God bless you"

    Who would have "eye makeup" on at 1 A.M. EST? Crack whores! These are skanks who awaken on Monday and their pillowcases look like the Shroud of Turin. Pit bulls with "lipstick on your dipstick", that's who! These are the bitches who answer ads on Craig's List and become a face on a milk carton.

    Wake up and smell the placentas! The Palin's are toxic.

    1. flamingpdog

      This Wonkette post and Sarah's Twitter account both in one night? Nerves of steel there, Barb. What's your internet "safe word"?

  34. tribbzthesquidz

    Haha! They keep saying "spending." Since I had a vasectomy I have found it difficult to reign in my spending. Very liberal about that. I am also a fan of female spending. It's not pee if it tastes like coconuts.

  35. KenLayIsAlive

    Well, that's nice. Two years ago we got the Presidency in a landslide, a big majority in the house, and a filibuster proof majority in the senate, and somehow, somehow, we've come away with nothing.

    Speaking for myself, I still don't have healthcare. Looking like we may not get much in the way of social security. Rich people kept their tax cuts, guantanamo still open, a new war, and now this shit?

    Damn. Just fucking damn. No fucking snark, it is fucking heartbreaking. It's been said a thousand times, but it bears repeating: worst best chance ever.

    1. Chet Kincaid

      Democrats and Obama have been slow to adapt to the newly revealed reality in this country: the people most likely to vote on a consistent basis are the most racist, ignorant and self-defeating; the election of a black President with so much "exotica" in his background has been deeply disturbing to those people; they will come back to the polls again and again, while Obama/Democrats' constituency of short-attention-span young people and minorities won't; winning elections no longer gets Democrats a grace period in which to govern, because hardcore conservatives are perfectly willing to destroy the economy to get to their long-term goals, and will oppose anything Obama proposes for 4 years, 8 years, as long as it takes.

      I fully expect some "respected" Democratic figure to come out and say that we "fucked up" by electing this Black man, because the country is too deranged to accept that we did, and if we had gone with a safer white choice, as disgusting as that line of thinking is, none of this would have happened. This will ignore the fact that nobody available in 2008 would have inspired enough Democratic "transient voters" to come to the polls.

      1. Atlas Frooged

        I agree with you about why 'he' was elected (I'm so mad I can't even type his name right now), but I'm certain at this point that (although RW pols are using race to fire up their base) the bigger problem is his that politically he seems to confuse himself with a doormat.

      2. KenLayIsAlive

        I'd say I'm looking forward to the day the white dipshits are the minority, but the poll taxes and voter id laws will probably keep them on top well after they are just like 30% of the population.

        And yeah, the Republicans are totally willing to use tactic like they use in Latin America. They don't like something, bring the motherfucking country down. They really are the worst traitors imaginable.

      3. KenLayIsAlive

        And I don't want to give the impression I put all the blame on the President here. This is the same bunch of wishy washy spineless Dems who have been around since… well nearly forever it seems, unable to stand up to Bush, unable to stand up for questionable elections, et al. It is such a top down party.

        When it comes to kicking out someone for tweeting a cock shot, sure, that happens is a heartbeat. But try to get rid of one of these fucks who keeps voting with the republicans, then it's all "deeerp".

        The whole Democratic party is to blame for this shit. There is no alternative within it. I refuse to vote for another wealthy lawyer (Hillary, Obama, Edwards). Working class hero or no one.

        1. BlueStateLibel

          Well, well said, I kicked my cardboard carton over and spilled some hobo beans, I was so pissed. But at least you still have your blonde, beautiful hair.

        2. HuddledMass

          Don't forget instantly firing Shirley Sherrod on the word of that POS weasel Brietbart. THAT was the moment when I knew we were fucked.

      4. tessiee

        "and if we had gone with a safer white choice, as disgusting as that line of thinking is, none of this would have happened"

        Agree with most of your comment, but not this.
        I'm not disputing your point that racism is a factor, probably a major factor, in their opposition — but it's not the only one. President Hillary would have turned all of their brainettes rabid for completely different reasons — if indeed, she'd lived long enough to finish taking the oath of office — but they would have been equally hateful and obstructive to her, too. A white male choice would have been "safer" in theory, but they could and would have labeled a President Gore or a President Kerry a "socialist" with equal ease and equally complete lack of justification.

        The ruling class who really run things are not going to let go of the reins anytime soon, and whipping the self-defeating ignoramuses into a frenzy is laughably easy for them. Whether the particular boogeyman of the moment is a "nigger" like BHO, or a "feminist" like Hillary, or some other pejorative is irrelevant. They'll find a scare label for anyone they want to discredit, even if they have to make one up out of whole cloth, and the dumbasses will fall right into line like they always do.

        1. Doktor Zoom

          If Hillary had won, virtually everyone who's currently a birther would be buying the hot new book "Who REALLY Killed Vince Foster?"

    2. MrFizzy

      You got it man. It's just nauseating that these arrogant morons in DC are just going to let the country go into the shitter. I wish I had voted for Hillary. At least she has some gonads.

    3. natoslug

      I am one of the fortunate who has health care, thanks to my work. Of course, in the past decade, I've watched the cost go up dramatically all while the coverage has shrunk to where it is essentially just major medical. Which doesn't do me any good, since so far I haven't found a hospital in my area that actually accepts my insurance. This is American Exceptionalism, right?

    4. tessiee

      "Well, that's nice. Two years ago we got the Presidency in a landslide, a big majority in the house, and a filibuster proof majority in the senate, and somehow, somehow, we've come away with nothing."

      Perfect summary, absolutely perfect.
      I'm sure I'd enjoy it more if it hadn't made me leave whatever mood I was in and go straight to depression, but ehhh *shrug*, whattya gonna do?

  36. hollywooddood

    A "Super Congress"? What's next ? A "Totally Ultra Senate"?

    How about changing the name of the country to "The Short-Sighted Teabagger States of Hysteria"?

  37. SorosBot

    Come on, stop stringing us along and just tell us: should we star stockpiling the guns, ammo and canned foods, or are you going to forestall the collapse of civilization for a bit? It's OK, we know the end of modern civilization was inevitable as all civilizations must fall and a new dark age must begin, as has always happened before, as when Rome collapsed, or as when Bronze Age Egypt and Greece were destroyed by the still-mysterious Sea Peoples; but I for one hope that we'll leave enough of our knowledge behind that our descendants will be able to come back smarter than us, as with how the explosion of Greek philosophy or the Renaissance occurred before.

    1. proudgrampa

      Yes. Start stockpiling. My recommendation is to stock your garage with as much toilet paper as you can buy: you can use it to barter with in the new economy.

      Have I mentioned that we are freakin' doomed?

      1. comrad_darkness

        I asked my Great Depression era father once what was good for barter back then: was it booze? ammo? and he looked at me funny and said, "meat!" like I was totally clueless.

      2. tessiee

        "My recommendation is to stock your garage with as much toilet paper as you can buy: you can use it to barter with in the new economy."

        So, we'll be using toilet paper for money and money for toilet paper?
        Yay, cycle of life?

    2. comrad_darkness

      On the upside, I think Europe will do fine once they cease being victimized by our disease of Financial Innovation.

    3. not that Dewey

      I dunno. After the collapse of Rome, the Muslims were able to keep human knowledge alive for the few hundred years that it took the Euopeans to get their heads out of the Church's ass. But can we trust that kind of power to the enemy? Once Pam Geller and Liz Cheney take over, they'll see to it that all knowledge is destroyed, just to keep it out of the hands of the scary brown people.

  38. SudsMcKenzie

    In the spirit of the evening I've decided to form my own Super Congress at home

    Mr. Whiskers: call to order
    The floor recognizes the K9 from next door over objections to his licking the carpet
    Little Timmy relinquishes the rest of his time as he stepped on a lego and is crying
    House Plant in the Corner demands of "more water" has been recognized by the speaker

    First order of business, Super Congress Bill #1 to turn on the AC or not

    K9 leave Mr. Whiskers alone, order , order
    Timmy here have an Tylenol PM, order, order
    Speaker Suds does not appreciate the tone or demeanor of House Plant, order, order

    This isnt working out as well as I thought it would.

    1. Fukui_sanYesOta

      but still far better than what's been going on on congress!

      Following your lead, I'll convene the first Fukui House Committee on whether to get shitfaced on a Sunday night.
      Present: small plastic pig stolen from a company in London, half-empty can of Trader Joe's "name tag" lager, Fukui_SanYesOta and a broken playstation 3.

      Fukui_San proposes deep cuts in the strategic lager reserves. Can of lager counterargues that work should be performed tomorrow. Small plastic pig has "PHIL SUCKS" written on him for no discernible reason. Playstation 3 makes the very good point that it's fucking broken because it's a son of a bitch and also a member of the tea party caucus. Half-can of "name tag" lager leaves the meeting due to previous commitments by reason of prior engagement with a bladder. Meeting adjourned on the insistence of the Speaker of the House (ie my wife) whinging that Fukui_San is getting drunk on a school night again.

      Thus ends the inaugural meeting. No consensus reached beyond the unanimous vote that Phil Sucks.

        1. Fukui_sanYesOta

          After late-night discussions with the playstation, it claims that "harumph" would require a working graphics chip and condescends to an interim pronouncement of "pshaw". I suspect the playstation currently believes it's a character in a 1930s PG Wodehouse novel, which is actually far better than being part of a tea party caucus.

    2. tessiee

      Mr. Whiskers reviews minutes of last meeting; sanctions imposed upon neighbor kitteh for spraying Mr. Whiskers' territory. Vote of Constitutional rights of Mr. Whiskers, right to Bare Claws is affirmed unanimously.
      *bangs gavel*
      Meeting hereby declared adjourned; snack tray and umbrella drinks for all.

  39. Cash4HoboBeans

    Did you ever play The Sims for computer and try your best to wreak havoc on your family and make everything as shitty as possible, just because it was hilarious? Well, it's not so much fun being on the receiving end of that dynamic, in the real world.

  40. Limeylizzie

    Oh well, I am off to the airport with a very large, ginger cat, so I have to deal with him and this , worst day in a long time.

    1. Negropolis

      I've flown once on a plane with a small pet (who was allowed to fit under the seat), and it was a horrible experience.

      1. Limeylizzie

        Well, he fits under the seat, but barely, so it's not fun for him, I have to rely on the kindness of the people sitting near me so I can put him just in the leg room space.

    2. PristineODummy

      Oh god. Large ginger cats are notorious for being easily upset and totally crazed, paranoiac, confused, breathing-disturbed and terrified by totally random shit. Oh,yes, and also for possessing huge and powerful claws which they sheath carefully around everyone else but will use to disembowel you because they are AFRAID.

      1. Limeylizzie

        That is exactly our boy Neville! We adopted him from a shelter and he had been feral for a while and on his cage it said “Caution Runner”.

        1. PristineODummy

          Ours was named Zingiber, and at 23 lb, he was a fucking holy terror to deal with. Raised in the lap of luxury, with never a harsh word directed his way, he nevertheless managed to be terrified by the sound of moving kibble in his bowl. To the vets' credit, when I rushed in streaming blood and carrying enraged cat, and asked for a paper towel, their first response was, "Oh, did the poor widdel kittle hurt himself?" The raging monster tried to rip the paper towel out of my hand, but I used it staunch the blood flow and launched him bodily into the exam room, where he lay flat on his belly, as sweet and passive as could be. However, fortunately, he did try for the vet tech on the way out and earned himself a red tag on his file (apparently only awarded to cats who successfully blood vet techs, or something). Good luck with Neville!

          1. Limeylizzie

            Well, when we first got him he was so beautiful and unusual looking, very big with long hair and an insanely long and fluffy tail, so we looked up various breeds and decided he was a mix of a Maine Coon and a Turkish Van the latter being known for doing what is called the Turkish Touch, whereby they reach out and touch you when you pet them , Neville does this but when you stop petting him he slashes you.

  41. WinterOuthouse

    I love a good pissing match. Next time can't they just get a ruler and measure their 'talking stick' and go from there?

      1. SaintRond

        I recommend a co-Presidency – Hillary Clinton and OJ Simpson as her Id. Then she says stuff and when somebody in Congress calls her a liar OJ rolls up his sleeves going, "You think this is a game?! You think this is a game, motherfucker?!" and then beats the hell out of him. That's what I want.

  42. DemonicRage

    Paul Krugman says that the Prez totally caved into a crazy minority faction of one house of Congress and that now we are a Banana Republic. This is genuinely disturbing!

  43. Naked_Bunny

    The Republicans do realize that this means they "own" the economy again going into the next election, right? They've spent months loudly and publicly demanding that ownership.

    1. Naked_Bunny

      Oh, who am I kidding? They'll still manage to convince Americans that the impending contraction is Obama's fault. And I'll have to grimace and nod a little.

  44. BlueStateLibel

    Why didn't anybody tell me Dubya died and was reincarnated as Barack Obama? “The result would be the lowest level of annual domestic spending since Dwight Eisenhower was president,” Obama said. He has officially ruined any chance for a recovery by allowing the teatards to run over him, and completely thrown his base, as well as grandma and the sick, under the bus. Put the R next to his name, that is what he is.

  45. mumbly_joe

    Well, the good news is that the recession is over and we've entered a new era of growth and prosperity. At least, I assume we have, because why else would our government be so obsessed with deficits and massive cuts to domestic spending?

  46. Atlas Frooged

    Now I get it! Conservatives don't hate Obama because he's black, a demmycrat, or even because he's so painfully, obviously, hopelessly…anyway: weak. He's merely the conduit for them to get their way, and really who can respect the person who enables all their anti-social programs (coming soon: pograms!). It's looking like BO will have done more damage to America than Republicans over the past 10 years.

    1. HedonismBot

      When the Republicans say they want to kill all the puppies, it's Obama's job to say "no, you can only kill half the puppies and three-fourths of the kitties." Then, the Republicans kill 90 percent of the puppies and 85 percent of the kitties, and everyone is happy. Obama's real raison d'etre is to provide non-teabagger Americans with the illusion that they have a choice in whatever evil scheme is about to be shoved down their throats.

      1. Negropolis

        I am horrified, because I've never seen this better put. It's not that he's a self-aware Trojan horse. What's scary is that he doesn't seem to realize it. I think that's more dangerous than if he was some kind of conspiratorial accomplice of the tea party.

        He allows them to get away with things that they could never get away with under even a Republican president. You know what they say, only Nixon could go to China. Maybe, just maybe, only Obama can finally destroy once and for all our social safety net…

  47. GregComlish

    Not even Neville Chamberlain could have walked away with a worse "Compromise". This was a moment when our leader needed to have some fucking balls. Instead Obama chopped his own dick off early in the negotiations trying to appease the GOP. By obliterating domestic spending during a severe recession, Obama ensures that the nation's economy will be in getting even worse during his own reelection. The structure of the deal guarantees that Democrats will get blamed for cutting popular programs. And it doesn't even solve shit since we're letting the Republicans put a gun to our head next year.

    So Obama's chances with the 'moderates' are fucked. Furthermore this deal is yet another insult to the left that worked so hard to get him elected. Obama also emboldens the GOP and forces them even farther to the right. This is too bad since the Republicans are probably going to win the upcoming election. God help us all.

    1. tessiee

      "By obliterating domestic spending during a severe recession, Obama ensures that the nation's economy will be in getting even worse during his own reelection."

      And to think there was a time when I rested secure in the knowledge that we could pretty much run an inanimate carbon rod and win, because Bush, Cheney, et. al. had screwed the pooch for Republicans for the next 20 or 30 years.
      Those were the days, my friend.

  48. Weenus299

    What a fucking letdown. Same damn result as always. How do people become political junkies? All this ensures is that I will pay more attention to the back of my eyelieds.

    1. V572 Hair of Destiny

      "Bend over and enjoy it" just isn't as appealing as "Lie back and enjoy it."

      But hey: good news for America's Rentier Class®: markets are up, up, up!

    2. DashboardBuddha

      The bad news is we've been getting it in the ass for the last 11 years. We've just become numb to it. And because we've become numb, the steel studded condoms and cat dicks are coming out.

    3. tessiee

      That began shortly after the first time St. Raygun took office. We've now pretty much run out of lube, however.

  49. Weenus299

    What's kind of humorous is how heartbroken the DailyKos kids are. They actually had hopes and dreams. That's funny! Isn't it?

    1. Atlas Frooged

      Yeah, when people vote for Democrats they probably don't expect them to behave to the right of actual Republicans. Why even vote Dem? Two branches of government they control and the minority of the minority wins the day! What a country.

  50. V572 Hair of Destiny

    I see on HuffPo that Imperial Potentate Grover Norquist has granted conditional approval to the budget deal. Now everyone can relax.

  51. donner_froh

    For those who haven't stuck their head in the oven yet, this is Paul Krugman's take, from today's Times:

    For the deal itself, given the available information, is a disaster, and not just for President Obama and his party. It will damage an already depressed economy; it will probably make America’s long-run deficit problem worse, not better; and most important, by demonstrating that raw extortion works and carries no political cost, it will take America a long way down the road to banana-republic status.

    1. comrad_darkness

      The Supreme Court's last few years of decisions sealed the Banana Republic status a loooong time ago.

    2. mumbly_joe

      A former professor of mine astutely observed that this is pretty much entirely forseeable, if you understand that the Tea Party agenda is all about disrupting and destroying governmental and civic institutions; crisis and default aren't a means to some other political end, but an end unto itself. The teabaggers may be a small contingent of an opposition party, but they have just enough political clout to block votes and prevent the government from functioning, which is really their main political objective anyway. You can't negotiate with people who want to blow everything up, because you have nothing they want; and even if you do, the end product's going to be really shitty, because for them, not blowing everything up is the compromise.

      Oh, and he caps the blog post with a Joker scene from Dark Knight. Which is pretty apt, methinks.

      1. not that Dewey

        You can't negotiate with people who want to blow everything up, because you have nothing they want; and even if you do, the end product's going to be really shitty, because for them, not blowing everything up is the compromise.

        If you see that showing up unattributed somewhere on facebook later today, it was me, stealing it. Thank you in advance.

          1. Chet Kincaid

            That's an excellent article, thank you for the link!

            I have been struggling to formulate similar thoughts over the last few days. The Tea Party has succeeded in a way that Progressives simply cannot–and it's not just because of Koch money, either.

      2. tessiee

        "this is pretty much entirely forseeable, if you understand that the Tea Party agenda is all about disrupting and destroying governmental and civic institutions; crisis and default aren't a means to some other political end, but an end unto itself … they have just enough political clout to block votes and prevent the government from functioning, which is really their main political objective anyway. You can't negotiate with people who want to blow everything up, because you have nothing they want; and even if you do, the end product's going to be really shitty, because for them, not blowing everything up is the compromise."

        And somewhere, Ken is sick with envy.

    3. tessiee

      "demonstrating that raw extortion works and carries no political cost"

      I disagree with that statement, actually. Every single action of the Republican Party since Obama took office has *demonstrated* that extortion works and carries no cost; what this does is *reiterate* it, yet again.

  52. DashboardBuddha

    as of 10:47 the stock market it dropping…how can this be? Wasn't this deal supposed to ensure the continued sexy happytime financial markets?

      1. comrad_darkness

        Actually the stock market reflects the understanding that the stimulus IS the economy, therefore the anti-stimulus isn't going to be greeted with party favors or anything.

  53. DustBowlBlues

    Jesus, Kirsten, pace yourself. If you keep coming up with phrases and words like, "Washington’s McDebtpocalypsegeddon inferno dance party" you're going to burn out young. We don't want to the people responsible for turning you into the Amy Winehouse of hipster punditry.

  54. HedonismBot

    Thank you, Mr. President, for turning what could have been a real Fiscalpocalypse into a mere category 5 debt-saster. We all knew it would be bad, but until now we did not know just how bad. The good news – it's only about 97% as bad as it could have been. Sort of like losing only four fingers in a skilsaw accident, instead of losing all five.
    Way to beat my expectations, Hopey!

  55. ttommyunger

    I'm forced to be philosophical about this, otherwise I'd go nucking futz: Barry is playing long ball here. Looking for average Americans (read morons) to finally wake up seeing their trailer parks burning down around them and finally noticing that the TeaTards smell of match sulfur and gasoline. If he can get reelected and regain a majority in both houses he may be able to do some real good in his last four years of office.

      1. ttommyunger

        Hopefully, being free from the pressure of reelection will set his black ass free. We'll see.

      2. PristineODummy

        He passed more legislation that benefited the average working person than any other President so far.

        More to the point, AFAICT, he hasn't given much away, if anything, he's managed to move the timing of this whole brouhaha to 2013 when the Bush tax cuts expire, thus avoiding the worst scenario and making it easy to use the Bush tax cuts expiry to gain the needed revenue. I'm just not seeing that he gave the house away here. But feel free to point me to any information you might have.

    1. tessiee

      "I'm forced to be philosophical about this, otherwise I'd go nucking futz: Barry is playing long ball here."

      As much as I'd like to believe you, T-cakes, and as much as I hate to disagree with hot younger men *wink*, I think you're…
      no disrespect intended…
      well, if it was anybody else, I'd say they were fulla shit.

      Barry is acting the way he does because he's either a deliberate puppet of the Forces of Evil, or he's a co-dependent putz. He'll never act any other way, because he can't. If he had any mettle, he'd have shown it by now.

      As far as Cletus and Brandine waking up? The wingnuts and their corporate masters could walk up to the teatards and tell them to their faces, "We're out to destroy your country and fuck you over" and they wouldn't care, as long as Walmart stays open and Queers can't git married.

    2. PristineODummy

      True dat. Also, quite frankly, if he wanted to be a tool and make lots of money, he could have done that upon graduation. With a Magna cum Laude from Harvard PLUS Pres of the Law Review, he could have had his pick of white-shoe firms to work with. And the last three years have been a fucking hell for him. The fact that he's hanging in is something I'm grateful for, because there is not a single person who could replace him, not one. I have to believe in him right now. That's just what works for me.

  56. AJWjr.

    What's the opposite of "plunge"? "Surge"? OK, I'll go with that.
    My 457 account "surged" upward $3.12 this morning on news of a debt crisis resolution.
    That's like .000000000000000000000000123%, people! Happy days are here again, motherfuckers!


  57. Callyson

    "What's the point of having this superb military that you're always talking about if we can't use it?"
    Madeline Albright, 1993, on Bosnia
    "WTF is the point of having the 14th Amendment if we don't use it to prevent a catastrophic 'compromise' that will make things worse?"
    Callyson, 2011, on this crap…

  58. DemonicRage

    The morning columnists are eating Barry up alive. He's an appeasement tool. The USofA is a Banana Republic. All of the give aways were from one side. A small, demented minority has had its way with all of us and are laughing at their victory. This does not feel good.

  59. Papa_Uniform

    Well, I for one am glad. I'm up-dating my resume in anticipation for all the jobs the Richies are going to create because there are no tax increases and they get to keep their jets. Happy days are here again!

    1. mumbly_joe

      Apparently the super-rich jeorb creators are still a-panicking, since the stock market is still dropping like a stone.

      Skittish buncha motherfuckers, aren't they? You'd think this stuff made the difference between them eating catfood or being able to make rent or not, like it does for the rest of us.

    1. mumbly_joe

      Guys, I'm increasingly convinced that NadePaulKuciGravMcKi might actually literally be Mike Gravel. BIGGEST TWIST EVER.

    2. Negropolis

      Oh, you're still here. How unfortunate. I send across the ether a million and one downfists.

  60. notreelyhelping

    You guys make it sound like this story was ever going to have a happy ending: it was primed to be the battle royale, starting November 3rd.

  61. Negropolis

    You know, this ruling by extortion and threats by a small, extremist faction in a multi-party system worked great for the Nazis…for awhile, that is. Yeah, I went there.

    1. mumbly_joe

      Honestly, if the jackboot fits.

      Frankly, the baggers themselves have been implying it for a while- if, as they often like to claim, Barry's America is like the Weimar Republic -a benign, center-left republic plagued with economic troubles and debt left over from extremely ill-advised wars- then what, pray tell, does that make the pseudo-populist anti-liberal right-wing reaction to that debt and humiliation, intent on ascending to power on the shoulders of a coalition with mainstream conservatives?

    2. KenLayIsAlive

      Worked so good, they decided they didn't need any help and just took the damn thing over!

      Look at the country. A giant, failed, but somehow continuing "war on terror", a populace that virulently hates each other, a collapsed economy, a media that flits between hysterics and completely toeing the line, a super powerful upper class frightened to death that they'll lose any of their privileges, and willing to do anything to keep them.

      Clearly there's no turing this ship around. And we're headed straight for the iceberg.

  62. flamingpdog

    Yeah, I agree. That's why I think Boner will be out of a job soon, and impeachment will be on the table, just because the Teatards will be pissed.

  63. BerkeleyBear

    I think you are confusing appeasement with hostage negotiation. If Chamberlain had been dealing with the TP folks, he'd have agreed to default six months ago and thrown in the Sudatenland for old times' sake.

  64. Native_of_SL_UT

    Gee Barb, ya scared me for a second. When you said "pulled an elvis", I thought you were going to go die on the toilet.

  65. Barb

    I lived in Delaware for 25 years. I have respect for Joe Biden. Call for an impeachment? Three words, President Joe Biden.

    Teatards hate wasting money, or so they say. Imagine the staggering amount of money that will be wasted with the impeachment bru ha ha.

  66. __kth__

    Even if you impeach, it still takes 67 in the Senate to actually boot him out of office. Which they don't have, and if they get to 67 in 2012 or 2014, keeping Barry around will be the least of our worries.

  67. mormos

    Yeah, despite his gaffs I've always thought Biden was a hardass who doesn't take shit from anybody.

    However, as to impeaching Obama, what would be the grounds for a hearing?

  68. Barb

    Yes, but those who oppose the black man in the White House, that black men (slaves) built for the white man, would love to try to leave a black mark in history for the black man who did something that I thought I would never see in my lifetime, a strong black man in the White House.

  69. Barb

    At least he can visit other countries and not be in fear that he will be arrested for war crimes. : )

  70. ProgressiveInga

    Uh, hello! We don't need no stinkin' grounds. He's a muslin elitist halfrican socialist kenyan whose wife has never been proud of her country and he pals around with terrists. All of that trumps a bj from an intern any day.

  71. tessiee

    "as to impeaching Obama, what would be the grounds for a hearing?"

    Presidenting while black?
    I chuckle at your naivete
    *chuckle chuckle*
    What were the "grounds" for wasting tens of millions of taxpayer dollars to impeach Clinton? Oh, yeah, that's right — there weren't any.

  72. Nothingisamiss

    Ok, Berkleley Bear, you actually made me feel a little better with this reality check.

    My coworkers thank you, but I'm afraid my righteous indignation has nowhere to go but into my dealings with coworkers. (Or I could deal with it, whatever.)

  73. V572 Hair of Destiny

    Blow jobs! Blow jobs! Blow jobs! In the Oval Orifice!

    How quickly they forget.

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