DEBT CEILING JACKOFFERY  8:50 pm July 29, 2011

Boehner Proudly Passes His Dumb Bill, Senate Immediately Suffocates It

by Wonkette Jr.

Trust No OneWhat’s happening in the exciting/awful dullsville of dismantling America? Well, jaundiced boozebag John Boehner did just what his bosses told him — he even coordinated the extremist-corporate bill’s passage with the publication of some jackass propaganda posted under his byline at the National Review Online. But it didn’t matter, because the Senate immediately tabled the House bill on a 59-41 vote. And now … eh, who knows? Mud wrestling? In any case, America is doomed.

The NYT Caucus blog just posted this:

The United States Senate quickly dispatched the debt ceiling bill passed by the House Friday evening, tabling the Republican bill indefinitely and moving quickly to start consideration of a Democratic plan that would avoid default on Tuesday.

Less than two hours after House Speaker John A. Boehner pushed his bill through the House over the strenuous objections of nearly two dozen of his own Republican members, the Democratic leadership in the Senate followed through on their promise to kill his legislation.

This means another weekend of Crisis & Stage Tears, while Americans generally ignore this and hope it goes away. Oh, and the Dow Jones index had its worse week in a year, with a 4.2% plunge since Monday. Apparently things are getting a lot worse, very quickly! So, might as well buy three bottles of whatever tonight (catchup?), because it might get uglier before Monday. [NYT]


Hola wonkerados.

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Crank_Tango July 29, 2011 at 8:52 pm

well as long as it didn't get aborted—it was a poor bill anyway, amirite?

Fare la Volpe July 29, 2011 at 9:45 pm

And printed on brown parchment.

Rarian Rakista July 29, 2011 at 10:57 pm

I am glad that the majority of FoxNews viewers are using IE.

DahBoner July 30, 2011 at 9:39 am

Yeah, what does this bill do to stop the slaughter of Christian Soldier babies?

PristineODummy July 31, 2011 at 10:44 pm

Republicans don't care about Christian Soldier babbyz! They only care about Christian Soldier fetii!

mormos July 29, 2011 at 8:56 pm

I heard on NPR today that even if debt reducing legislation is passed by Tuesday we may still have our credit rating reduced because, no shit, we don't have a competent enough government to back it up.

Other countries have been watching congress squabble like idiots and have decided we are a bunch of dumb jackasses. I can't really blame them.

China in particular is beginning to be scared shitless.

Sharkey July 29, 2011 at 9:04 pm

Obama: "We don't have a triple-A political system" to match our AAA credit.

I tend to think it's the people holding office right now rather than the system itself. (Though I abhor the fact that third party viability seems impossible.)

Therefore and heretofor and whatnot, Obama hates the American political system. Typical socialist.

Radiotherapy® July 29, 2011 at 9:19 pm

Does this mean we have to go to AA?
Bring your coffee and cigarettes.

AJWjr. July 29, 2011 at 9:58 pm

I was beginning to think it meant another baseball strike.

OneDollarJuana July 30, 2011 at 11:46 am

The settlement of the NFL lockout is bad news for the country. What we need is less sports, not more. We need bored people actually paying attention to the news for five minutes, long enough to realize they've been had. Long enough to get mad and take to the streets. We NEED selfish millionaires fighting over kids' games.

DaRooster July 29, 2011 at 10:42 pm

I'll bring the coffee, since that is what I do…

starfanglednut July 29, 2011 at 11:03 pm

And the cookies. Don't forget the cookies. And back in the day, some meetings had baloney sandwiches on wonderbread with yellow mustard. Beats drinkin' any day!

not that Dewey July 29, 2011 at 11:47 pm

Last week I brought some banana bread that my wife made. Man, those old drunks love banana bread!

OneDollarJuana July 30, 2011 at 11:47 am

You can tear the crust off Wonderbread and roll it into a little ball. A little ball of dough which for some reason was never white, always grey, probably because it cleaned the dirt off my palms.

I ate it anyway.

Guppy06 July 30, 2011 at 12:20 am

"I tend to think it's the people holding office right now rather than the system itself. (Though I abhor the fact that third party viability seems impossible.)"

Single member districts, pluraility voting, closed primaries.

Yeah, I can see the system being a problem. Needz moar IRV.

user-of-owls July 30, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Electoral system nerd!

Minimax Condorcet or GTFO!

flamingpdog July 30, 2011 at 1:22 am

If we don't have AAA credit anymore, does that mean I won't be able to get my car towed for free the next time it breaks down?

bflrtsplk July 30, 2011 at 8:52 pm

AAA used to tow my car home for free when I was drunk. Then, for some reason, they stopped doing it. That was the signal for me that it was time to stop drinking. Quit for three years.

comrad_darkness July 29, 2011 at 9:10 pm

China should be scared shitless because someone crossed Bernie Madoff with Ken Lay and put the resulting army of monsters in charge of Chinese local government money via special financing vehicles. Worrying about us is a bourgeoise luxury I'm surprised they have time for.

zhubajie July 30, 2011 at 8:08 am

Quite true. As a student told me once, there are 800 million farmers in China and they are all angry. One big reason is that local governments and local contractors steal the farmland to build luxury apartment buildings that almost no one can afford. Govt. and contractors profit via embezzling loan money, but no one else does.

KenLayIsAlive July 30, 2011 at 11:46 am

Shit, if you want to see people steal land to build luxury apartments no one can afford, move to Williamsburg.

zhubajie July 31, 2011 at 7:46 pm


OneDollarJuana July 30, 2011 at 11:50 am

When the Soviet Union fell, the oligarchs took over and made (are making) billions. Looks like the Chinese are doing the same with their own particular flair.

comrad_darkness July 30, 2011 at 2:52 pm

The Soviet Union is an excellent parallel with current China, and a nice shorthand to shut up some idiot at a party who says China is going to over take us. Yeah, with their crazy per capita GDP of $4000. I'm shaking in my boots here.

Poindexter718 July 29, 2011 at 9:22 pm

Oh we are so burning China with our defaulting on their bonds! Dumb, dumb Chinese, financing our trade deficit and reserving our Yankee dollars.
And the truly funny thing is that I'm sure they will show up at the next Treasury auction because they are so dumb and so tripped out on MSG and ground up rhino horns and Chinese tea (which isn't even tea at all because its green, and not even a party).

tessiee July 30, 2011 at 12:51 pm

"Chinese tea (which isn't even tea at all because its green, and not even a party)"

Does this mean that China has both a Green Party AND a Tea Party? And what do their teabaggers dress up as?

Dudleydidwrong July 29, 2011 at 10:14 pm

A scared shitless China means that it is time for those with real 'Murrican money to buy stock in Ex-Lax, Dulcolax and all the other violent emetics. At that point China will be worried more about itself and America can just sneak away to some desert island where Boehner can continue adding to his orange hue and the rest of us can pound sand.

Radiotherapy® July 30, 2011 at 12:26 am

Spitzer was on Maher tonight and he recently asked Dick Army what cuts he would actually make and, of course, he said NPR.
There it is…no taxes on the job creators and cut PP, NPR and the NLRB and voilá, just like the year 1999.

Barb July 30, 2011 at 10:37 pm

I loved seeing Spitzer! I'm cool with him.

stew1 July 30, 2011 at 4:41 am

Barry just needs to go Caesar on their ass and assume complete control of the government and let the 'baggers return to their basements with their Laura Ingraham posters (ick!).

zhubajie July 30, 2011 at 8:09 am

He's not a Caesar or Cromwell.

tessiee July 30, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Hell, he's not even 2008-vintage Obama.

PristineODummy July 31, 2011 at 10:55 pm

I'm not sure the resulting nutpocalypse will be approved by Our Chinese Overlords.

BobSalem July 30, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Mormos, share with all your friends.

This will make you sick. We have a bunch of halfwits running this country.

Doktor Zoom July 30, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Oh, hurrah, we have a Breitbart troll in the thread. Started watching the vid & counting the lies–my bullshit detector went off at the title, which conflates Social Security and "welfare," and went into the red zone when the housing was described as a free ride for illegal immigrants. Only took a moment to find an article debunking of your bullshit:

(That's a brief look; a more thorough debunking is here)

You might want to find more reliable sources than a guy who claims that Jesuit priests "are here as the hitmen of the Catholic church. If you oppose them they will kill you. They claim to have torched off the atomic bombs in Hiroshima and Nagasaki" (from the second link).

mumbly_joe July 30, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Ah, thank you good Doktor, for doing a far more thorough debunking than I really had the interest for, once I got to the first reference of "social security funds for foreigners". Yeah, that's not how anything works, at all.

The way I see it, though, there's two major levels of lies and insanity to that thing- there's the lies an insanity vis a vis the actual facts, and then the lies and insanity with regards to the premise- mixed-funding public housing is sort of reallyfuckinggreat for the economy, (especially when targeted in ways that give us good economic stimulus and thus more future tax revenue- for the dollar). which is a thing I thought we were supposed to be caring about for some reason.

Still, Bobsalem inadvertently makes a very good point- with the absence of a downfist option for idiots like him any more, we really have to be more diligent about upfisting the good stuff. We can't have intelligent people with actual good points getting stuck in the trollslum like that, especially if someone mistakenly upfists a moron as someone seems to have done above.

Doktor Zoom July 30, 2011 at 2:43 pm

especially if someone mistakenly upfists a moron as someone seems to have done above.

[Bob Newhart voice] Uhhh…that….that would be me.[/Bob Newhart voice]

Geminisunmars July 30, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Thanks for the alert before I clicked on the thingy. I don't miss the downfist, but it would be nice to be able to highlight suspect comments in, say piss yellow, so we could be warned. And thanks for the summary, although trying to talk to that (those?) trollie is like taking french to a cow.

emmelemm July 30, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Or arguing with a dining room table.

PristineODummy July 31, 2011 at 11:03 pm

Exactly. Low-income housing has NEVER come out of Social Security funding. NEVER. I worked on low-income housing and poverty issues for years, and my bullshit detector ain't totally broken yet. Whoever that guy is, he's lying, and he's spreading lies. Cost of the "new" cars he's yawping about? 2011 models brand new off the lot under $25K. So his "$40-$50K" whine is just flat outright lies.

Doktor Zoom August 1, 2011 at 12:54 am

He's so far from knowing what he's talking about that he's not even wrong

mumbly_joe July 30, 2011 at 1:39 pm

Well, I suppose it's only natural for the American people to elect the people who best represent them, if the narrator there is any indication

"…welfare social security housing for foreigners"
Umm, yeah.

And even assuming that video isn't entirely nothing but insane lies (which it almost certainly is), $225 million is something like one hundredth of one percent of the national budget defect. Clearly we can close the budget gap by evicting a whole bunch of senior citizens or disableds who are somehow also foreigners even though they're collecting social security, as long as the rest of our budget strategy is to use MAGIC TO CREATE MORE MONEY.

And if you mute the video, suddenly it's a video about how the government actually can help shore up the weak economy while mitigating poverty and homelesss, by pouring money into the economy in the form of high-quality affordable housing, who'd have thought. Even that wingnut narrator admits that they're extremely well-constructed homes, and he's just mad that "the wrong people" get to live in them.

I suddenly miss having a downfist option.

PristineODummy July 31, 2011 at 11:12 pm

Here's an interesting thing: Singapore in the 1950s was subject to yearly epidemics of malaria, typhoid, cholera, smallpox, and the like. Most of the population lived in houses made of zinc and attap, or poorly-constructed deathtraps (still seen in Chinatown today, but no longer the housing of the masses). The Singapore government built model housing estates for the people, very similar to what is shown in that video. All those areas have hospitals/clinics, administrative/maintenance offices, community centers, government-subsidized, Trades Union-funded stores that sell basic supplies (foodstuffs, cleaning supplies, etc.) at fixed prices, and government-subsidized produce/grocery markets and foodstalls. Why is this bad or wrong? Singapore made the transition from a poor third-world nation to a very wealthy nation based on this sort of support for the working poor. That video looks like what model housing for the working poor should be. I guess the idiots who are disseminating this propaganda are trying to stir up nativist sentiment by arguing that "foreigners" are getting something nice that the local yokels are not? I'm not getting this at all.

mumbly_joe August 1, 2011 at 6:35 am

It's funny, because the more cogent and literate sorts of wingnuts love to prop up Singapore as their example of Free Market Principles At Work™.

Uhh, yeah, sure, as long as you ignore the fact that Singapore has universal health care that's only made possible due to government-imposed price controls and compulsory saving (which is essentially an identity with taxes), just for example.

Truth be told, I've always suspected that at least a bit of the gushing over Singapore is really deferred admiration for their other, highly authoritarian elements, like the justice system which has no trial by jury, little presumption of innocence, and makes heavy use of capital and corporal punishment for a wide range of crimes. Oh, yeah, and that there's been one-party rule for the past 50 years and the government heavily restricts opposition speech and press.

glamourdammerung July 30, 2011 at 3:09 pm

BobSalem, I am **still** waiting on that unedited "ACORN sting video" that you claimed Breitbart released yet is nowhere to be found despite your claims it was "everywhere".

Negropolis July 31, 2011 at 12:14 am

I'll say it again and again, but this is the reason why I'll continue to rue the abolition of the downfist. We should be able to express both approval and disapproval or neither.

__kth__ July 31, 2011 at 9:05 am

posting something really stupid and getting the other guys in your daily circle jerk to upfist it, is the new downfisting I suppose.

orygoon July 31, 2011 at 5:06 pm

You must have been born yesterday to believe this kind of crock-o-shit.

zhubajie July 31, 2011 at 12:42 am

The Chinese government is probably more worried about a peasant revolt bringing *real* commies back to power.

comrad_darkness July 31, 2011 at 8:19 pm

How do you say "Amen" in Cantonese. Or Mandarin. I'm not picky. Or even one of those obscure dialects of the Steppes.

PristineODummy July 31, 2011 at 11:15 pm

There is no concept of "Amen" in any Chinese dialect, but to express approbation, you would say "Hao le," or "Hao ji le," which translates to "Good." (Mandarin; Same in Fujianese or Cantonese dialects.)

PristineODummy July 31, 2011 at 10:46 pm

China has repeatedly issued warnings to our Congresscritters to shape the fuck up. They haven't been heard. The next step is to make us all hurt, in the hope that we'll kick these miserable motherfuckers out and let the grownups get back to business. And it is going to hurt.

Sharkey July 29, 2011 at 8:58 pm

I'm up for some mud wrestling, who's with me?

KenLayIsAlive July 29, 2011 at 9:07 pm

Not Boehner and Reid though, please. I'd like to be able to have an erection at some point over the next year.

Texan_Bulldog July 29, 2011 at 9:11 pm

Agreed, and I'm not even a dude.

gullywompr July 30, 2011 at 6:58 pm

Yeah I heard about those throbbing girlboners before…

Sharkey July 29, 2011 at 9:13 pm

Oh. I thought Kirsten was referring to me. Faux pas.

gullywompr August 1, 2011 at 6:39 pm

OK, it took me two days, but I get it now…

At least I think so – are you referring to the infamous mudshark episode perpetrated by the manager of LZ and enshined in song forever by FZ?

Limeylizzie July 29, 2011 at 9:26 pm

That vile Schmidt woman vs. Virginia Foxxxxxxx.

smokefilleddoommate July 29, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Can mud dislodge a glass eye?

nounverb911 July 29, 2011 at 9:45 pm

Ask Sammy Davis Jr.

KenLayIsAlive July 29, 2011 at 9:54 pm

I had to look them up. All I have to say is:


not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 8:40 pm

NOW can you get a boner?

AJWjr. July 29, 2011 at 10:00 pm

Wait–Miss Schmidt from the GoDaddy commercials? Hawt!

flamingpdog July 30, 2011 at 1:26 am

Mebbe once Bachmann starts dropping in the polls, she'll deem it necessary to get in the mud pit with Sarah. I have the poop corn concession cornered.

tessiee July 30, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Virginia Fox vs., who's that woman who looks like Jerry Garcia? Rebecca Mansour?

smokefilleddoommate July 30, 2011 at 7:46 pm

I thought she kinda resembles Ben Franklin.

gullywompr July 29, 2011 at 8:59 pm

This is good news for John McCain.

rocktonsam July 29, 2011 at 9:00 pm

there are 59 demicrates?

the teabaggers ain't going to like that

BarackMyWorld July 30, 2011 at 3:41 pm
memzilla July 29, 2011 at 9:00 pm

I want these Rethuglicans to be held fully accountable for this ruinous travesty of a parody of a sham of a joke of a pretense of responsible government.

Dudleydidwrong July 29, 2011 at 10:17 pm

You know damn well Hopie will be blamed for all of this. He always does everything wrong. I heard that somewhere on some TV program at the barber shop. (Question: why the fuck do all barber shops have a TV permanently tuned to Fux Snooze?)

fuflans July 30, 2011 at 1:05 am

and hotel lobbies and waiting rooms in hospitals.

whenever i am faced with these, i ostentatiously march up to the TV and change it to the most liberal thing i can find.

then curl up with a kittenish pout daring anyone to change it.

Lascauxcaveman July 30, 2011 at 2:23 am

fuflans: American Hero.

PristineODummy July 31, 2011 at 11:20 pm

Being a rude, mean, old fart, I just go up and pick a quarrel with the poor counterperson till they change it. And, being a *manipulative* rotten mean sneaky old fart, I pretend-sympathize with their having to put up with an asshole like their boss who insists on keeping it on that goddamn channel. If they won't change the channel, I leave and tell them I'm taking my business elsewhere. I used to be "nice" and put up with it, but I won't anymore. That's my pledge to myself. I'll go to my grave happy if it fucking kills me. And watching Pox Ooze does NOT make me happy.

zhubajie July 30, 2011 at 8:10 am

They will persuade the usual 1/3 of Americans that it's the fault of gays, coloreds, liberals, non-Christians….

emmelemm July 29, 2011 at 9:00 pm


Frabjous day! Just what I needed for a Friday. (Sorry, can't manage anything more coherent on a Friday afternoon.)

MissusBarry July 29, 2011 at 9:19 pm

Damn it, that was all I had for this one, too. Needz moar Bieber. Ok, that last part may not be intended as a factual statement.

emmelemm July 30, 2011 at 4:28 am

The Republicans destroyed my country, and all I got was this lousy Blingee.

Sharkey July 30, 2011 at 10:43 pm

I kind of thought that was a good blingee, but ok.

PristineODummy July 31, 2011 at 11:21 pm

I'll settle for MOAR Beaver.

AJWjr. July 29, 2011 at 10:02 pm

Still, being Friday, I was hoping for Benincasa.

Texan_Bulldog July 29, 2011 at 9:02 pm

Check and mate, Boehner. You going to go off crying again, you orange putz?

tessiee July 30, 2011 at 12:59 pm

"You going to go off crying again, you orange putz?"

We can only hope.

BarackMyWorld July 30, 2011 at 3:28 pm
comrad_darkness July 29, 2011 at 9:05 pm

What does it say that in order to get serious, congress has to get much more childish.

KenLayIsAlive July 29, 2011 at 9:06 pm

This is truly the pointless ineffectual grandstanding the American people have been waiting for.

Thanks Boner!

tessiee July 30, 2011 at 1:02 pm

This situation calls for a completely futile and stupid gesture — and they're just the guys to do it.

evan7257 July 29, 2011 at 9:07 pm

I demand we settle this Brooks-Sumner style!

Negropolis July 29, 2011 at 9:58 pm

'Eff that. I demand we settle this Burr-Hamilton style.

Dudleydidwrong July 29, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Yeah. Which side gets Herman the Cane?

tessiee July 30, 2011 at 1:04 pm

A Garth Brooks — Donna Summer sing-off?

Hurricane Ali July 30, 2011 at 10:27 pm

Jets vs. Sharks dance-off.

Sharkey July 29, 2011 at 9:07 pm

Please enter default value for:

(don't be shy)

Pres.Beeblebrox July 29, 2011 at 9:51 pm

(1.403 x 10^13) / 0

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 6:34 pm

You son of a bitch. You just divided by zero, didn't you?

Kidneys4Sale July 30, 2011 at 3:17 am

Meh. As long as we can cover it by selling all the white people, I'm cool.

KenLayIsAlive July 30, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Going to have to convert them to fuel first or something. Got to think value added bro, no one want's that shit "as-is".

cheetojeebus July 29, 2011 at 9:09 pm

It was a stroke of genius to politicize the debt limit vote while most of the USA is hanging on by their fucking fingernails and the stagnant economy has a permanent case of the jitters. Fucking genius.
Gawd, I hate these fuckers.

Nothingisamiss July 29, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Really, really hate.

LetUsBray July 30, 2011 at 12:20 am

Yeah. I also hate the morons who will have completely forgotten about this by next election and will return all the dipshits to office, Probably plus an additional batch of teabagging bastards.

Nixon_So_Fine July 30, 2011 at 11:05 am

I have no measurable income ("work" for a non-profit/"work" as a self-employed coder/"work" as a slave tot all this)…Mom and Dad are the guys who make sure I still get fed.

When Mom and Dad go, which will happen soon, I have no idea what'll happen.

I'm so fucked.

Geminisunmars July 30, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Well, you could run for office. But I don't want to depress you further.

Seriously, hope things work out for you.

DaSandman July 29, 2011 at 9:09 pm

And the Weeping Tangerine retreats to his grand office to weep bitter bitter Teabags tears.

LOL Fuck you, you orange moron. You started and supported this shit. I hope it hurts. Like a rectal exam from Godzilla.

Rotundo_ July 30, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Oh come now, the most Johnny will do is go off to play golf and then when some smartass in the group says "CANTOR!" as he is about to tee off will wrap a wood around their head. Johnny may even lose his seat in the coming election, but he'll be lobbying in no time and raking in even more yummy cash for cigs, booze and a new set of clubs.

Crank_Tango July 29, 2011 at 9:10 pm

wear r de jerbs??????

Nothingisamiss July 29, 2011 at 9:55 pm

If we don't raise the debt ceiling and cut all corporate taxes there will be lots of jerbs! Right?

memzilla July 29, 2011 at 10:28 pm

D jerbs r in China.

BarackMyWorld July 30, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Also: hopes, dreams.

smokefilleddoommate July 30, 2011 at 7:07 pm

我们将崩溃 !!

flamingpdog July 30, 2011 at 1:31 am

They're in the jerb jar (keeping W's fetus-brother company).

Negropolis July 30, 2011 at 4:41 am

Up his ass, where he seems to keep everything else he likes to pull out of it.

FakaktaSouth July 29, 2011 at 9:10 pm

Who voted how in the Senate – as there were obvs Rs that voted with the Ds, yes? Are these Rs that want to raise the debt ceiling or is this a meta-wrap around "I hate Barack Obama so much that I am voting against Mitch McConnell" teatardtactic? This is what all I am trying to figure out. And what did they vote for, or against? And for how much? I don't fucking know anymore.
I do know (math!) that these fuckers collectively make more than 90 million dollars a year – how come 174K is what they think a normal standard of living is?

the_problem_child July 29, 2011 at 9:46 pm

I saw the list. They were teatards who thought it didn't go far enough.

OneYieldRegular July 29, 2011 at 10:01 pm

And on top of pulling in that kind of salary, they don't do their jobs. If anyone ever needed an answer as to how this debacle has come about, the sheer incompetence of House Republicans this week should provide a pretty damn good clue.

FakaktaSouth July 29, 2011 at 10:12 pm

You are absolutely right. I should have said, that's a heck of a salary for people to do their jobs so poorly that they negatively (and sometimes horribly and irrevocably) impact the lives of millions of Americans every single day.

fuflans July 30, 2011 at 1:09 am

who are the baggers in the senate besides rand? i mean i guess jim demint, but he was always just a conservative asshole and carpet bagged on a movement.

(this is not snark).

FakaktaSouth July 30, 2011 at 1:41 am

Republican Sens. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.), Rand Paul (R-Ky.) Mike Lee (R-Utah), David Vitter (R-La.), Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) and Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) According to the rather shitty "beldarblog" – "Not one of these GOP senators was part of a "bipartisan majority" who agreed with Harry Reid and the Dems on anything of substance. Rather, these are the six senators who were to the right of Boehner, the House majority, and every other Republican in the Senate."
The guy on the site I got this from goes on and on then about what a liar Harry Reid is for calling this bipartisan, which again, ANY self awareness here dudes??
According to HP, "They argued that Boehner’s bill didn’t go far enough in cutting spending now and were not swayed by the addition of a requirement that Congress approve a balanced budget before the government could borrow any new money in 2012."
Ignorant. Assholes.

fuflans July 30, 2011 at 2:10 am

yeah, i feel like i'm down the rabbit hole everytime a repub speaks – the last three days have been 100% democratic text spouted by the likes of eric cantor and mcturtles and orange julius.


also, belderblog, pretty sure lindsey is not a bagger – at least not in the way you think.

FakaktaSouth July 30, 2011 at 2:56 am

It is very confusing. I thought the Lindzz was besties with McCain, and we know what he thought (for 4 minutes yesterday) about them baggin all over everybody, but who freaking knows how these people think?
Maybe now we're all getting a mouthful of Rep Louie Gohmert's balls for the Pres' birthday?
I don't know.

emmelemm July 30, 2011 at 4:31 am

I thought Shelly (Bachmann) was the official "I started the Tea Party Caucus in the House so I'm special" lady. (In other words, isn't she also a "bagger"?)

ETA: Never mind, you're talking about the Senate.

trampndirtdown July 31, 2011 at 1:03 am

Look I really don't mind Demint, Paul, and Lee so much they are proffesed morons and proud of it ,but
Lindsey and Orrin are just looking to butch up their reputation.

Negropolis July 30, 2011 at 4:59 am

The Tea Party caucus of the Senate is very small. It consists of Mike Lee of Utah, Rand Paul of Kentucky, Jim DeMint of South Carolina, and some dude named Jerry Moran out of Kansas. Of those four, the first three voted against this. I don't really know much about Moran, but perhaps he's a bit less principled. Who knows? I know very little about the senators of the Plains.

In the House, 60 representatives are a part of the Tea Party caucus.

BTW, Michele Bachmann likes to crow about being the founder of the Tea Party caucus in the Congress, but the actual idea of it began with Rand Paul when he was campaigning for his Senate seat.

Jukesgrrl July 30, 2011 at 6:04 pm

Randy Paul and Bitch McConnell — thanks, Kentucky, for making Arizona look good.

Callyson July 29, 2011 at 9:10 pm

Less than two hours after House Speaker John A. Boehner pushed his bill through the House over the strenuous objections of nearly two dozen of his own Republican members, the Democratic leadership in the Senate followed through on their promise to kill his legislation.
Osama (by special forces and Obama's courage to go for it), Boneheader's bill (by showing it the table)…the Dems are getting pretty good at killing things. Now, how about the Dems kill the hopeless quest for bipartisanship and stand up against the Teabaggers' crap (by the 14th Amendment)…

AJWjr. July 29, 2011 at 10:09 pm

Well, one of the dissenting votes was from our new friend and deadbeat dad Joe Walsh. I do not know what this means.

JoshuaNorton July 29, 2011 at 9:17 pm

House Speaker John A. Boehner pushed his bill through the House

He then went home and tried to drunk-dial Ron Weasley

flamingpdog July 30, 2011 at 1:35 am

It'll prepare him for his next job – going door-to-door, pushing Oreck vacuum cleaners through houses.

ShaveTheWhales July 29, 2011 at 9:19 pm

It's probably the wine, but I'm actually starting to think that Hopey will have swoop in and stick an executive stake in this debt-ceiling bullshit. It's getting close to the point where even he won't be able to find a way to compromise it away.

And then, Boner, PLEEEEZ start impeachment proceedings. Oh please oh please oh please. This could vault you to the top of the Beyond Epic Failing Murkin Politicians.

KenLayIsAlive July 29, 2011 at 9:20 pm

If anyone can compromise this away, it's Hopey.

ShaveTheWhales July 29, 2011 at 9:23 pm

Sadly true, but the wine is still telling me the window for compromise is closing fast.

Nothingisamiss July 29, 2011 at 9:58 pm

+2. I just can't believe my beloved (yes!) Hopey will stand any straighter on this than on anything else he comprimised away. And the dems? I'm pinning my hopes on Harry Reid? You know you're hopeless when…..

Negropolis July 29, 2011 at 10:02 pm

I'm getting that feeling, too, and actually, it's what I've wanted him to do all along. A little shock-and-awe, if you will. He really shouldn't have waited this long, honestly. I mean, the GOP already calls the guy everything short of a socialist dictator to his face, so why not just play the role you've been given?

Dare the fuckers to impeach him, and then make him Bill "Obi Wan" Clinton. You know the whole "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine." And, well, he did.

Geminisunmars July 30, 2011 at 12:29 pm


tessiee July 30, 2011 at 1:08 pm

This is now my new favorite fantasy.

BlueStateLibel July 30, 2011 at 9:39 am

I'm thinking he should go the 14th amendment too. Let the Boner and teatards try to impeach him, they're utterly worthless anyway doing anything. The spectacle of a mostly white congress wasting taxpayer time and money trying to lynch a black president who's trying to save the country should set the teatard congress back years and years.

OneDollarJuana July 30, 2011 at 12:09 pm

I think the House would have a pretty good chance of impeaching the Pres (simple majority required). They're a bunch of loonies, insulated from reality in D.C. (the white part, that is). Shoot, they impeached Clinton for a little dalliance. Of course, conviction is pretty much impossible (two thirds majority required in Senate), but the impeachment stain goes deep. Watch out, Barry!

Negropolis July 30, 2011 at 9:41 pm

It's no doubt they'd likely impeach him in the House. If they impeached Clinton, they'd sure as hell impeach Obama. I don't think that's the point. I think that for as much as he's blamed for, not even Americans would approve of impeaching him. It's be horrible optics for the GOP.

Clinton didn't get stained by impeachment. In fact, he came out of it stronger. Whatever stain he had was from lying, not the impeachment process. That process actually had opposite consequence of engendering a lot of sympathy for the guy.

PristineODummy July 31, 2011 at 11:39 pm

Exactly. Even if they don't succeed in impeaching him, what they *can* (and *will*) do is tie up the business of the nation and waste a few billion to create a pointless hoopla. While we sit and comb through the dust bunnies for the last crumbs of remembered food. Fuckers.

Radiotherapy® July 29, 2011 at 9:22 pm

Boehner said he stuck his neck out. It would have been funnier if McConnell stuck his out. Either way, don't worry America, especially you 0.1% of the upper crust. No one is going to touch your tax rate. Sleep tight.

ShaveTheWhales July 29, 2011 at 9:35 pm

C'mon now, McConnell can only stick his neck out a couple of inches. You expect him to abandon his shell?

FlownOver July 29, 2011 at 9:42 pm

Stick that neck out around here, you sumbitch. My Hattori Hanzo steel needs a workout.

comrad_darkness July 29, 2011 at 10:10 pm

Really? American history clearly demonstrates that if they keep this shit up long their rate will be 90%. They are short term thinkers and too greedy to give a crap.

GeorgiaBurning July 29, 2011 at 9:30 pm

The Dems showing some gonads.. who'd have guessed! There is a part of me wanting to see what happens when the tea-tards suddenly stop getting their government checks and fresh batteries for those hoveround chairs. Yes, it would be safer watching from Montreal.

fuflans July 30, 2011 at 1:27 am

tabling the Republican[s] bill indefinitely

this would be better.

not that Dewey July 29, 2011 at 9:30 pm

I got an email from my gap-toothed dumbass republican congressgoon, Steve Pearce, in which he boasted broadly about his plans to kill Medicare in order to "reduce spending".

Because of lower payroll taxes due to the rise in unemployment, and the increasing population of those 65 and older, the Medicare trust fund is expected to be exhausted by 2019…

THAT'S NOT WHY, YOU DUMBSHIT! It's because payroll taxes are only figured on the first $100k of income, moron! It's the single most regressive tax on the books. If you smug entitled rich oilman fucks would just pay some fuckin taxes, we wouldn't even be having this conversation.

[sniffs the air] What's that? My anus burgers are ready? Ta-ta.

Dudleydidwrong July 29, 2011 at 10:26 pm

Pearce then introduced legislation to make it illegal to live beyond age 65 unless you can show evidence that you have enough millions to survive for at least fifteen years with your country club dues paid up for that period of time.

not that Dewey July 29, 2011 at 10:44 pm

I swear, looking at his list of sponsored legislation, that all he thinks about is abortion, homophobia, raping public lands, Reagan, and thinking up dumb, cutesy names for all the anti-Obama legislation he knows won't pass.

and look at this mug:

PristineODummy July 31, 2011 at 11:41 pm

He looks like he's been ball-gargling a bit much of late. Someone needs to tell him that gap-toothed WIMMINZ are sexy, gap-toothed men, not so much.

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 12:00 am

Oh, and check this out. He's a member of the "Magnificent 11" [throws up in mouth], whose illustrious membership also includes Allen West, Joe Walsh, and Steve King. It's a Hendekafecta of Fail!

flamingpdog July 30, 2011 at 1:41 am

Four out of 11 are Steves. I haz the sadz.

Lascauxcaveman July 30, 2011 at 2:34 am

If "hendekafecta" is an actual word, I raise my word-nerd glass to you, Mr D.

James Michael Curley July 30, 2011 at 4:58 am

I googled "hendekafecta" and all it brought up was alink to your post. It internet is getting scary.

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 9:32 am

I may have had to invent it. But I used all the standard techniques of word-corruption. Here's hoping it catches on!

Pragmatist2 July 30, 2011 at 8:52 am

Actually you are both wrong. The Medicare tax applies to ANY income. Social Security stops just before 100K. Medicare is, hard truth, a welfare program. Since the payroll tax never stops the high salaried pay more and then the Medicare Part B and D premiums are 4 times higher for high income people than for 95% of Americans to subsidize the others. It's a good model and ultimately a fair one. But it is progressive, not regressive.

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 9:35 am

You are correct, sir or madam, about the income cap. The $100k limit on Medicare was removed in 1993, and will be replaced with a $200k ($250k, married filing jointly) limit in 2013. I assume that's a feature of the PPACA.

The Medicare tax rate is flat, though. Flat taxes still tend to be regressive, in the sense that 2.9% of a minimum wage salary takes a larger absolute bite out of a household's budget than does 2.9% of $1B. With $971M, one can still live rather comfortably. To a family with $30k of income, every $900 is significant.

And that still leaves the issue of the absolute regressivity of the Social Security portion of FICA. And the gaping hole in the federal coffers that results. And the question of who are the beneficiaries of such a regressive tax (congressgoons and their corporatist overlords?)

Sure makes for good loony ranting though, doesn't it?

tessiee July 30, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Sure, go after Medicare. That wouldn't be career suicide or anything. Everyone knows old people hardly ever vote.

alaninthecastro July 29, 2011 at 9:32 pm

I think it's a really sound idea that the lower house of Congress can blow up the country any time it chooses unless the Senate and the President agree to policies abhorrent to them. That's pretty much what the Founding Fathers had in mind, isn't it? These Tea Party folks have read the Constitution, so they must know what they're talking about.

ShaveTheWhales July 29, 2011 at 9:38 pm

These Tea Party folks have read hallucinated the Constitution, so they must know what they're talking about.


alaninthecastro July 29, 2011 at 9:44 pm

Wait a minute! How come the Tea Party folks have money for acid and I don't?

Negropolis July 29, 2011 at 10:05 pm

Duh, because they're the job creators, silly alan.

PristineODummy August 1, 2011 at 12:29 am

I like this ^^^ version better.

Pres.Beeblebrox July 29, 2011 at 9:54 pm

That, and the really sound idea that it takes a supermajority of the upper house to pass a bill if the minority wants to be little whiny bitches about it.

LetUsBray July 30, 2011 at 12:26 am

The filibiuster isn't in the constitution. It became a tradition somewhere along the way, like DUIs on New Year's Eve, and the Democrats have been as usual too dickless to consider making it harder to abuse.

Sassomatic July 30, 2011 at 6:59 pm

And they don't even have to actually do the filibustering. They just say they will filibuster if they have to, and then that's it. Jesus fuck.

Negropolis July 30, 2011 at 9:50 pm

That's one of the biggest things I still have not yet given Reid for. He had the power to change the rules back to something more sensible at the beginning of the sessesion, and I don't think he even called a vote on it.

flamingpdog July 30, 2011 at 1:49 am

They've read the Constitution in pretty much the same way they've read the BIble. I really feel sorry for Jeebus sometimes. How often he must watch the Teatards and wish Dad hadn't taken those anger management classes before he was born.

tessiee July 30, 2011 at 1:51 pm

"I think it's a really sound idea that the lower house of Congress can blow up the country any time it chooses unless the Senate and the President agree to policies abhorrent to them. "

Baggers: Abolish Medicare or we'll shoot this cute li'l puppy.
Barry: OK.
Baggers: Now give us all the money from Social Security, or we'll shoot this cute li'l puppy.
Barry: Okey dokey.
Baggers: Now pass a Constitutional amendment appointing Reagan Emperor for Life posthumously, or we'll…
Barry: You bet.

Obviously, I'm kidding, of course.
None of them know a word as big as "posthumously".

Mahousu July 29, 2011 at 9:33 pm

I've got 50 fast-food packets of ketchup, 20 of soy sauce (low-sodium mostly, unfortunately), 5 mayonnaise, 3 something else sort of white (tartar sauce?) and half a box of saltines. Oh, and a grated parmesan shaker that's not completely empty.

Not the best disaster-readiness kit ever, but I should be able to hold out a few days, at least.

ShaveTheWhales July 29, 2011 at 9:37 pm

Serious cocktail-onion shortage there, I'm afraid.

the_problem_child July 29, 2011 at 9:42 pm

All the ingredients you need for prison plonk.

alaninthecastro July 29, 2011 at 9:46 pm

I'll trade you two bottles of Bud Lite that someone brought to a party at my house for the saltines and the parmesan shaker.

Also, according to "Hints from Heloise," Teapocalypse Edition, if you let the white, tartar-sauce like substance grow instead of eating it all now, you'll soon have a fuzzy crop of tasty mold!

emmelemm July 30, 2011 at 4:33 am

AKA, medicine!

Weenus299 July 29, 2011 at 9:57 pm

I just bought a 1.75 of Gordon's Gin. That'll do for about a day.

Dudleydidwrong July 29, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Not too shabby, but I don't see any nutmeg on the list. I'll trade you some for two ketchup packets and five saltines.

fuflans July 30, 2011 at 1:11 am

i bought booze thru next sunday.

oh wait, i always do that.

Bonzos_Bed_Time July 30, 2011 at 1:36 am

Preparation is preparation!

zhubajie July 30, 2011 at 8:15 am

What do 5 pounds of potatoes cost these days?

Mahousu July 30, 2011 at 9:03 am

50 trillion Reichsbank marks, same as always.

user-of-owls July 30, 2011 at 3:22 pm

That was six hours ago. They're fetching 320 trillion factorial Zimbabwe dollars now. Oops, wait…now it's 340…no, wait…now…

zhubajie July 31, 2011 at 12:51 am

Let me put it differently: how many quart bottles of cheap beer = 5 lb potatoes? Let's say generic beer, like Cost-cutter or Milwaukee's Best? For 5 lb of Idaho bakers?

Swampgas_Man July 30, 2011 at 9:19 am

I rummaged around and found a bottle of local Concorde, which is almost as sweet as Manischevitz. Hiding under the bed and drinking sounds like a plan to me!

PristineODummy August 1, 2011 at 12:31 am

It's my standard response to emergencies.

OneDollarJuana July 30, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Sounds like hors d oeuvre recipes from the '50s.

tessiee July 30, 2011 at 1:55 pm

"I've got 50 fast-food packets of ketchup, 20 of soy sauce (low-sodium mostly, unfortunately), 5 mayonnaise, 3 something else sort of white (tartar sauce?) and half a box of saltines. Oh, and a grated parmesan shaker that's not completely empty. "

And you're wearing sunglasses in the dark.
Hit it!

Doktor Zoom July 30, 2011 at 3:09 pm

A little travelin' music

user-of-owls July 31, 2011 at 4:48 pm

"I'm prepared too. I know your address. And I noticed that your preparations are light on defensive weaponry."

–Today's Dilbert. Really!

PristineODummy August 1, 2011 at 12:31 am

Jesus, Dilbert SO sucks ass.

OC_Surf_Serf July 29, 2011 at 9:34 pm

59-41 vote

Holy Shit… The Dems held together in lock-step.

BarackMyWorld July 30, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Because they're uncompromising obstructionists. Unlike when Republicans do it, when it's known as principled unity.

ifthethunderdontgetya July 29, 2011 at 9:36 pm


Some rat-asses in our government said, "Lets fuck the people really good, this time!"

And other rat-asses said, "NO, we must spread it out for greater people-fucking pleasure!"

And all the pundits employed by all the plutocrats sat around thinking "is this going to be good for me, or is this gonna be GREAT for me", and they sang:

Do wah diddy

Nothingisamiss July 29, 2011 at 10:01 pm


the_problem_child July 29, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Mitch McConnell has said he will not negotiate with Harry Reid. Not sure what that means. Seems to me there are a few Rs who would (Ladies of Maine, for example.)

Negropolis July 29, 2011 at 10:08 pm

Mitch McConnell has said he will not negotiate with Harry Reid.

How is that different than usual?

ShaveTheWhales July 29, 2011 at 10:38 pm

Certainly, it's obvious? It means Mitch McConnell is an asshole.

Of course, the sun coming up in the morning means Mitch McConnell is an asshole, but there ya go.

Lascauxcaveman July 30, 2011 at 2:40 am

Turtle MM is an asshole who has made it quite plain that he won't do anything that might conceivably result in that nigger getting re-elect preznit.

Such as allowing the Senate to "govern."

mumbly_joe July 29, 2011 at 10:58 pm

Unless I'm misunderstanding, he's saying he's not going to let a debt ceiling bill -any debt ceiling bill- leave the Senate: he's also saying that he's going to allow a fillibuster from his caucus.

So, yeah, hahaha, we're all completely fucked.

OC_Surf_Serf July 29, 2011 at 9:39 pm

Rand Paul voted against Boehner's Plan?

It seems they didn't cancel enough Constitutional Amendments.

ShaveTheWhales July 29, 2011 at 9:43 pm

It didn't include the requirement for the "Rand Paul is a Board-Certified Ophthalmologist" amendment to the Constitution.

OneDollarJuana July 30, 2011 at 12:18 pm

I got a 2×8 pine board I'll "certify" him with.

glamourdammerung July 29, 2011 at 9:39 pm

So, when do we start the pool on when Cantor tries to take the Speaker position?

ShaveTheWhales July 29, 2011 at 9:44 pm

At this point, do you think Boner would even put up a fight?

glamourdammerung July 29, 2011 at 10:00 pm

I would say that Orange Boner crying is a given, but I think he would fight for the position out of ego.

flamingpdog July 30, 2011 at 1:58 am

The only pool I want to see Cantor in is an Olympic-sized one full of sulphuric acid.

PristineODummy August 1, 2011 at 12:33 am

So, what, that wasn't a knife I saw sticking out of OrangeDooDoo's back?

FlownOver July 29, 2011 at 9:39 pm

Anybody else just flat runnin' out of snark? I was planning a Canada vacation next month, and I'm starting to think "U-Haul."

hollywooddood July 29, 2011 at 9:40 pm

After all those orange tears, TammyFaye Boehner wanted to show America that he has some balls. Turns out he doesn't, after all.

Barb July 29, 2011 at 9:44 pm

Boehner can pass his own bill, so far. He can't pass a bar though.

Dudleydidwrong July 29, 2011 at 10:31 pm

Boehner is good at passing gas. Just follow the orange cloud.

flamingpdog July 30, 2011 at 2:02 am

He has a hard enough time passing as a member of the human race.

DahBoner July 31, 2011 at 7:38 pm

I'll drink to that!

SudsMcKenzie July 29, 2011 at 9:46 pm

If your Boehner bill lasts for more than 3 hou…, , oh never mind.

flamingpdog July 30, 2011 at 2:03 am

If that Boehner had lasted more than four hours, the Senate would have had to call a doctor.

genxr July 29, 2011 at 9:47 pm

What do you mean we can't amend teh Constitooshun with a simple House majority?

hollywooddood July 29, 2011 at 9:47 pm

Caucus Interruptus.

Negropolis July 29, 2011 at 9:48 pm

59-41?! Which Republicans defected? I'm kind of amazed to be honest.

Tommmcatt July 29, 2011 at 10:00 pm

The ones that are going to be looking for jobs next cycle is my guess.

soojank July 29, 2011 at 10:29 pm

Scott Brown is considering voting for the Reid plan.
And some other Republican senator, Bob Corker?, ranted this morning about how having another debt ceiling debate in six months would be dumb/irresponsible.

But I would like to see a list, also.

SudsMcKenzie July 29, 2011 at 11:06 pm

I heard SC fancy boy Lindsey was among them.

update: * Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.)
* Sen. Jim DeMint (R-S.C.)
* Sen. David Vitter (R-LA)
* Sen. Mike Lee (R-UT)
* Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT)
* Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY)

Graham, DeMint, Vitter, Paul, …. God save us, or not

Negropolis July 30, 2011 at 4:45 am

Let's see…

Graham probably did it because he actually doesn't want to default. DeMint did it because he's fucking crazy and wants to take this country back to before it's birth. Ditto for Mike Lee and Rand Paul, who are honest-to-goodness tea partiers. Hatch voted with us I bet you as a big 'eff you to the tea party since he's very likely to lose re-election because of them.

Vitter? I have absolutely no idea. But, where the hell is McCain? This is one of those issues where he would walk with us.

SudsMcKenzie July 30, 2011 at 5:27 pm

McCain couldn't resist his instinct to miss the landing and try to take out the ship.

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 1:46 am

and Bachmann. BACHMANN!

EDIT: oops. You were talking about Senators. Well, this list is interesting, too.

Negropolis July 30, 2011 at 4:42 am

Well, a whole hell bunch of them defected in the House, and that's a given, because, well, the Boehner plan was too "liberal" for those loons, don't you know.

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 11:23 am

It's gonna make for an interesting primary season…Alvin Greene and Basil Marceaux have got nothing on the primary challengers that we'll be seeing next year.

Slim_Pickins July 29, 2011 at 9:49 pm

NON SEQUITUR!!!! It would be the Teabagger motto, if they knew what it meant.

the_onceler July 29, 2011 at 9:49 pm

If only every mention of Joe Walsh was not about that dickish congressman but instead about the amazing guitarist. Sigh.

Weenus299 July 29, 2011 at 9:56 pm

He divorced his wife and didn't make child support payments.
He lost his condo, now he's a congressman.

… You're right. Doesn't quite have a ring to it.

the_onceler July 29, 2011 at 10:23 pm

Still…life's been good for him so far.

ShaveTheWhales July 29, 2011 at 10:39 pm

Life's been way too good to him so far.

LetUsBray July 30, 2011 at 12:31 am

He can't complain, but sometimes he still throws tantrums like a sniveling little four-year old sack of snot.

DemonicRage July 29, 2011 at 9:50 pm

NPR is already lining up interviews it will be doing with old people who won't get their Social Security checks after the Aug. 2nd deadline isn't met. This collapse of the North American Empire is an industry, after all. Peggy Noonan has her column in rough draft form. The media goes on. It's just the people who have to suffer.

fuflans July 30, 2011 at 1:13 am

and the republicans, don't forget they're lining up republicans.

PristineODummy August 1, 2011 at 12:37 am

I'd like to line up republicans too. What I'd like to do after, I ain't sayin.

Jukesgrrl July 30, 2011 at 6:11 pm

Wait 'til those checks don't go out — they'll find out how many olds are using them to support their unemployed middle-aged children.

zhubajie July 31, 2011 at 12:54 am

What percentage of those check-less old-timers will be Tea Party supporters, do you suppose?

comrad_darkness July 31, 2011 at 11:31 am

Peggy Noonington will be interviewing Steve Forbes, I'm sure, about how dreadfully stressful it is wondering whether his dividend checks for that day will have five digits or six.

AJWjr. July 29, 2011 at 9:52 pm

Again with the 4.2% plunge on Wall Street, but when they forced me to give up 15% of my salary, it was considered a haircut, shared sacrifice if you will.

Fuck those guys.

ShaveTheWhales July 29, 2011 at 10:00 pm

Well put.

flamingpdog July 30, 2011 at 2:09 am

I'd vote for having 4.2% of those fuckers take a plunge from a 20th-story window on Wall Street, every day for the next 24 days.

Weenus299 July 29, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Ya'll shut it. Boner's moves Created Jobs. What have you done for unemployment in America!?

AJWjr. July 29, 2011 at 10:29 pm

What have you done for unemployment in America!?
I've stayed unemployed for over 4 years now ftw.

Dudleydidwrong July 29, 2011 at 10:34 pm

Boner's (bowel) movement Created Jobs. What have you done for the shit shovelers of America? Minor modification…

flamingpdog July 30, 2011 at 2:11 am

David Vittter has been "shoveling shit in Louisiana" for a number of years now.

PristineODummy August 1, 2011 at 12:38 am

No, he hasn't. He pays Wendy to do it for him. (Not his wife Wendy. The OTHER Wendy.)

tessiee July 30, 2011 at 2:32 pm

"What have you done for unemployment in America!?"

Um, added to it, thereby freeing up my jerb so a Real Amurrican [tm] could have it?
Not that it was entirely my idea.

zhubajie July 31, 2011 at 12:54 am

Emigrated, about 15 years ago.

Pres.Beeblebrox July 29, 2011 at 9:55 pm

Watching this stuff go down, I feel like I'm reading that book by David Niven & Jerry Pournelle, "Lucifer's Hammer". The Comet is on its way, and the closer it gets, the more fucked-up people get. Then after it hits (hot fudge sundae on a Tuesdae!), all hell breaks loose. Just hope we don't get the Cannibal Army coming after our mountain hideout.

ShaveTheWhales July 29, 2011 at 10:03 pm

Just hope one of us remembers how to make mustard gas.

Oh, and, as you know, "Larry".

Neilist_Returns July 30, 2011 at 11:06 am

Might have been more interesting if it had been co-authored by David Niven.

[Larry's stuff really when downhill after "Footfall."]

OneDollarJuana July 30, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Drano and Clorox make a pretty toxic cloud. Damn near killed one of the moms in my neighborhood when I was a kid. But her toilet was clean.

Doktor Zoom July 30, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Seein' as how you're a big ol' SF nerd (i.e., a gentleman and scholar), have you by chance read Jo Walton's Among Others? It's just a lovely little novel about the joys of discovering SF & fandom, set in 1979, and featuring a Welsh girl who, with her twin sister, Saved The World Through Magic (but that happened before the events of the novel). I've used it to put together my own reading list of SF titles that I'd missed.

zhubajie July 31, 2011 at 12:56 am

Almost any account of the chaos at the end of any major war will serve. Prepare to have lots of T-Turds becoming local warlords.

Weenus299 July 29, 2011 at 9:59 pm

Smurfs are in town. Maybe they can teach us some survival skills.

flamingpdog July 30, 2011 at 2:14 am
Neilist_Returns July 30, 2011 at 11:07 am

Ted Nugent has a wonderful recipe for bow-hunted Papa Smurf.

But they're blue. Which might be a problem, if your dinner guest prefer pan fried Orange Boehner.

user-of-owls July 30, 2011 at 12:18 pm

True story: Every two years I teach an honors-level colloquium on political violence. It's nasty. Really, really nasty. The kids have to do a presentation at the end, no guidelines at all. Just, "Do something that relates to the topic somehow." I usually tell them something along the lines of, "Be creative! Go nuts!" They sometimes do (I had a girl take me up on the offer to present via interpretive dance. Oh my)

But, back to your little blue friends. A number of years back, this skinny sort of quiet nerd-type did his presentation entirely on the theme of political violence in kiddie cartoons. A chunk of it was Smurf-related; something about an oppressive autocracy exploiting the aquateriat as I recall. A rather more disturbing segment was lovingly devoted to My Little Pony. Fortunately, it seems I've successfully purged that from my memory. In all seriousness, it was an absolutely professional class, insightful and even powerful presentation.

Nonetheless, I'm still praying that they frequently check the locks on the bell towers around here.

mumbly_joe July 30, 2011 at 2:20 pm

The spring before I started college, there were two wildly popular. honors seminars in the History department. One of them was on the political roots of Communism, and for a project, they created a mini-commune in the middle of the college's main lawn for a week, culminating in a May Day rally on the steps of the main administration building.

The other popular seminar -which, I forgot to mention, was on Fascist Europe- stormed the rally with supersoakers and water balloons and took over the commune, reading from a manifesto that called for prioritizing the state over the individual, more Wagner, and increasing the birthrate of the college. And this was all for credit, also too.

And that's the story of the first moment I was certain I had selected the right college for undergrad.

Doktor Zoom July 30, 2011 at 3:06 pm

God, I'm jealous. We just had to settle for heckling Brother Jed.

mumbly_joe July 30, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Yeah, my school's neither big enough nor midwestern enough to get any of that Brother Jed action.

Though, when we're not spreading fascism at supersoaker-point, we are apparently spreading it through our Education department. So, we do have that.

flamingpdog July 30, 2011 at 11:26 pm

Ohhhh, back in the day, you always knew when it was springtime in Boulder because Jed Smock showed up at the University Memorial Center fountain to preach to the jeering faithful. Oh, to be young again and laugh and point at Jed.

user-of-owls July 30, 2011 at 8:56 pm

Hoo-fucking-rah! Great work, liberal fascist professoriate!

Oh, one more 'creative' antic from my Pol-Vio class. Back when I had them doing group projects, the group scheduled for that day was entirely absent. Not a one of them. Angry Profe Owls curses and mutters for a while, then flails about trying to start a discussion. Twenty minutes into the (3 hour!) class, the group bashes open the door and, dressed in camo and carrying toy machine guns, takes the class 'hostage' and proceeds to march us out onto the main lawn of campus. In camo, waving guns, the class squatting at their feet.

How in the love of fucking muscular jesus we didn't provoke a campus lock-down, a SWAT response and quite possibly serious federal charges and/or an "oopsie" shooting remains a complete mystery for me. Ok, it was pre-9/11, but still? Really?

mayor_quimby July 31, 2011 at 11:05 am

That is awesome, even my liberal poli-sci ass woulda started punching hippies left and right at that point. Try doing that at a school that had numerous Arab sheiks kids there and was about 30% Jewish , not gonna end well, somebody is gonna get shot in the face.

Negropolis July 29, 2011 at 10:03 pm

Boehner, Custer's last stand said what?

Boehner has been done in. He's through. It took him a full six months to totally self-destruct his caucus. lol

Radiotherapy® July 29, 2011 at 11:28 pm

Remember the other night we were talking about real punk music?

They found the body of General George A. Custer
Quilled like a porcupine with Indian arrows
He didn't die with any honor, any dignity, any valor
When they found George A. Custer
American general, patriot and Indian fighter
He died with shit in his pants

Negropolis July 30, 2011 at 4:48 am

I guess I missed talk of Custer the other night, but those lyrics fit the moment.

HateMachine July 29, 2011 at 10:08 pm

Hope you like expanded power for the executive branch (what's that? we're not supposed to like that?), because barring Congress getting its shit together for five consecutive minutes, that's all that stands between the US and total economic collapse.

If there's no bill, we pray Barry has the sack to say "fuck this, raising this shit by executive fiat, and fuck you all", and watch as that thing we hated so much during the Bush days (the unitary executive) rears its head again. We're going to remove another safety feature from the oval office, because what other choice will we have?

On the plus side, if it goes to the courts, Alito and Scalia will be so torn. They love having a big strong man in the White House, but this one's, um, you know.

Tommmcatt July 29, 2011 at 10:14 pm


HateMachine July 29, 2011 at 10:22 pm

Right, that was it.

Bonzos_Bed_Time July 30, 2011 at 1:40 am


Lascauxcaveman July 30, 2011 at 2:49 am


(Lenny Bruce said it you you say it repeatedly loud and fast enough, it loses all meaning.)

tessiee July 30, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Clean and articulate?

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2011 at 4:18 pm

He could be white or asian or, forbid the thought, orange and it would be the same. Uncle Thomas and the Eye-talian prick made up their minds on all decisions prior to be appointed.

Will this benefit a major corporation? and/or Will this fuck the Democrats?

That's why Uncle Tom doesn't ask questions. He tells a clerk to write the opinion prior to paying attention to the boring case before him.

BTW–Fuck Anthony Kennedy. He has less backbone than BOehner.

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2011 at 4:20 pm

On a serious note, I've wondered what a Republitard would use extended power. Maybe we should warn Iran.

horsedreamer_1 July 31, 2011 at 3:58 am

For Tony Knuckles-dragger & Sammy the Bullshitter, it will come down to how much their SCOTUS salary is versus how much they're skimming from Americans for Prosperity. If the former exceeds the latter, they will back the imposition of the 14th amendment, in this case, since likely they would see a loss of income in the event of the U.S. gov't having to devote almost all of its funds to interest on the debt & Medicare & Soc Sec.

PristineODummy August 1, 2011 at 12:44 am


Bonzos_bed_time took that already, so I'm gonna go with Soshulist.

donner_froh July 29, 2011 at 10:11 pm

To: President Hu Jintao, Peoples Republic of China
From: President Barack Obama, United States of America

Subject: About that one trillion dollars we borrowed–we may skip a few payments but don't let that worry you.

Kat_man July 29, 2011 at 10:27 pm

Uh, can I put this account in my moma's name?

tessiee July 30, 2011 at 2:35 pm

"What happened to you, China? You used to be cool." — Bart Simpson

zhubajie July 31, 2011 at 1:00 am

Maybe we can give the PRC Alaska? Hawai'i too

WordSaladNation July 29, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Did you see the New York Times headline? It reads: "Senate Quickly Kills Boehner," and then there are other words, but I basically stopped reading after that because I'm drunk and it was funny, because the Senate kills my boehner, too.

ShaveTheWhales July 29, 2011 at 10:19 pm

In this particular case, I am not conflicted about the unitary-executive thing. The whole "debt ceiling" concept is nothing but content-free political posturing (which has, historically, been used by legislators of both parties to pretend to be more deficit-hawky).

It is nothing but puff (I have to believe that, because otherwise it is a serious mechanism for the United States to renege on its debts, and I refuse to believe that of the Greatest Cuntry Evah). An executive puncturing of this fluff bubble would be a resounding victory for the Constitution: "You guys voted to spend this money, but not to have enough taxes to collect it, so we have to borrow. It's your job to collect enough money to cover the expenses you authorize. It's my job to pay the fucking bills, so Ima gonna".

HateMachine July 29, 2011 at 10:26 pm

All this is true.

The real purpose of all this talk of "unitary executives" is to get Scalia all hot and bothered should this case arrive at the Supremes' door.

ShaveTheWhales July 29, 2011 at 10:30 pm

I really didn't need to contemplate the concept of a "hot and bothered" Scalia at this point in Friday evening.

Negropolis July 29, 2011 at 10:43 pm

Bingo. The "debt ceiling" was created/contrived in 1918 or some shit. It's the president's job to pay the bills, period. It's actually one of his or hers main job.

Lascauxcaveman July 30, 2011 at 2:54 am

1917, but you are correct. Here's a nice little think-piece on the subject.

AddHomonym July 30, 2011 at 2:46 pm

That article, like many others, references "brinksmanship." Isn't the term actually "brinkmanship"?

That is all I have to contribute to this debate.

Doktor Zoom July 30, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Most dictionaries list brinkmanship first but note that brinksmanship is an acceptable variant.

And, of course, usage determines meaning (last thing I'd want would be to start a prescriptivist vs descriptivist fight in Wonkette…because, after all, descriptivism is the only legitimate approach).

iburl July 29, 2011 at 10:24 pm

Tuck a Feebagger

JackObin July 29, 2011 at 10:26 pm

This nation isn't nearly silly enough. If only Walmart were the number one employer……..

smokefilleddoommate July 31, 2011 at 12:10 am

Walmart has what greeters crave! "Welcome to Walmart. Fuck You."

VinnyThePooh July 29, 2011 at 10:31 pm

Terrific. Now I'm going to be bombarded with Boner and Bitch all weekend, talking like they have a mouthful of shit.

Sharkey July 29, 2011 at 10:47 pm

With a side of Harry & Kate, yum.

ShaveTheWhales July 29, 2011 at 10:35 pm

So, apparently, Dirty Harry has tweaked his bill to include the "Prez can increase the debt limit, and Congress can shoot it down with a supermajority", originally floated by McTurtle.

I guess I'm okay with that, although I'd still prefer a simple executive override: "You cannot pass a bill that says that the budget bills you previously passed have to meet an impossible standard. Also, you cannot petition the Lord with prayer". But, this would get the job done.

I wonder how Mitch is going to justify voting against what is essentially his fucking bill.

Negropolis July 29, 2011 at 10:57 pm

I can stomach this, but what good is any of this if nothing, absolutely nothing, can pass in the House?

ShaveTheWhales July 29, 2011 at 11:03 pm

If it could pass the Senate, it would put the Senate on the side of the 14th Amendment Solution when Barry has to invoke it. Admittedly a small point, but one which would undermine the impeach-the-nigger reaction in the House.

horsedreamer_1 July 31, 2011 at 4:02 am

More GOP double-speak: impeaching the President for not "defending the Constitution the of the United States", as he is sworn to, when, in fact, he would be defending the 14th amendment to the Constitution.

Of course, as the 14th is one of the Reconstruction/Slavery Bad amendments, the GOP of today does not consider it legitimate. So, no worries. Impeach!

not that Dewey July 29, 2011 at 11:44 pm

Can we at least whip the horse's eyes?

ShaveTheWhales July 30, 2011 at 12:04 am

I wish we could whip the horses' asses.

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 1:41 am

Meh — they'd enjoy it too much.

FlownOver July 30, 2011 at 8:51 am

What is this "justify" of which you speak?

Doktor Zoom July 30, 2011 at 4:00 pm

No man with a good car needs to be justified! Dig it!

DaRooster July 29, 2011 at 10:46 pm

Just say NObama… Fuck these Ass Fucks!

DerrickWildcat July 29, 2011 at 11:14 pm

I am extricated!

hilbillyheroine July 29, 2011 at 11:16 pm

Since Ms. Mitch McConnell will negotiate only with Obama, I suspect Obama will have to add some "sweeteners" to persuade the Teabagger Sociopath wing of the GOP. Perhaps he could offer small puppies and kittens (from the socialistic animal shelters of course) to the teabag wing, for kicking. Obama could also offer up a FLAT 150% tax on all canes, walkers, wheelchairs, seeing eye dogs, nursing-home beds, infant formula, diapers, depends. He could offer up a value added tax at all grocery stores (200%), and tax medicine at 300%. His negotiating skills are outstanding.

Jukesgrrl July 30, 2011 at 5:44 pm

Canes, walkers, and wheelchairs, fine. But he'd have to exempt Hoverounds and Monster Scooters™.

user-of-owls July 29, 2011 at 11:38 pm

Ok, maybe I was a bit too oblique in an earlier post; regarding how savagely Layne-sque all of today's posts have been. So allow me to note simply that Ken's heirs have clearly been well trained in the art of forcing a corkscrew into any heart of optimism and pulling very forcefully out.

not that Dewey July 29, 2011 at 11:42 pm

You mean the "Ken is dead" rumor? I'll need to see a picture of him in a black suit walking barefoot through a crosswalk before I'll believe that.

ShaveTheWhales July 30, 2011 at 12:18 am

You were so oblique, it's not possible to determine how the Ken-is-Dead rumor relates to Palin's hookworms.

user-of-owls July 30, 2011 at 11:53 am

You need to buy the pamphlet to unravel that. Don't forget the SASE.

Doktor Zoom July 30, 2011 at 12:28 am

Make Me Depressed, Dead Man

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 1:13 am

Well, truth be told, Ken did have a thing for Cranberry Sauce.

Jukesgrrl July 30, 2011 at 5:38 pm

That's the only recipe in my collection that prints out as a full, margin-to-margin, page of type. Ken will never make it as a cookbook author.

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 6:19 pm

Well, Ken is was not known for his terseness.

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2011 at 11:39 pm

And fabulous cranberry sauce, I might add. Before serving it, I read the recipe to the family and added some harty-har-hars to the Thanksgiving festivities. Which I suppose says as much about our family as anyone needs to know.

not that Dewey July 29, 2011 at 11:51 pm

I have learned the difference between a cactus and a caucus. On a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.

-Mo Udall

flamingpdog July 30, 2011 at 2:24 am

I miss than man. His son is one of my Senators. I wish we had Stew Udall's son instead.

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 9:59 am

Me too. : (

You must be in Colorado (Mark Udall?) My senator, Tom Udall, has hella fight in him, and I'm glad that he got the Domenici seat.

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2011 at 11:40 pm

And I'm jealous of both of you. Trade for inhofe or Coburn?

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 11:52 pm

No, thank you.

The future is not all bright, though. Heather Fuckin Wilson will be running for Bingaman's seat next year, and unless Rep Martin Heinrich can head her off, we'll have our own mini-Inhofe very soon.

not that Dewey August 16, 2011 at 2:04 am

Hey — you wouldn't happen to be anywhere near Colorado Springs, would you? I'm here for two days, and I've never had an IRL Wonket experience.

flamingpdog August 16, 2011 at 2:28 am

I'm a slave of state gubmint in SE Denver, and live about 30 miles up to the north, near the Peoples Republic of Boulder. What are you doing in Jesusland, CO?

not that Dewey August 16, 2011 at 2:42 am

Vendor visit. There's an electronics company here that wants me to validate their test data (I know — yawn).

I love the rich taste, it's the tardfiend I could do without.

Doktor Zoom July 30, 2011 at 3:50 pm

God I loved Mo. Saw him in the mid 80's when his Parkinsons' tremors were enough to make it difficult for him to stay in front of the microphone, but he was still a hell of a speaker, and he ended with his usual sign-off: "Well, those are my views. And if you don't like 'em…I'll change 'em!"

EDIT: Huh…and here's something incredibly sad that I didn't know: In 1997, when Udall was dying in a Veterans' Hospital in DC, the only politician who regularly visited him was John McCain. I used to like McCain–never really his politics, but before he became obsessed with winning at any cost, he struck me as more decent than not. Sigh….

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Awesome — I'm envious that you got to meet him. I only know him through his legacy, and his nephew, who's my Senator.

I felt the same way about Walnuts, pre-2000. Good on him for visiting a dying hero.

I met him at a campaign stop when he was running against Bush; he autographed a bumper sticker, which I still have, shook my hand and called me a "great American". In retrospect, I should have kidnapped him at that point and thrown him in the Silence of the Lambs skin suit pit and spared us all the misery that was to follow.

not that Dewey July 31, 2011 at 9:12 am

That was a really touching article, by the way. "There's no way Mo could have been more wonderful," [McCain] says, "and there was no reason for him to be that way."

McCain suffered some permanent psyche damage after the 2000 election. They were so cruel to him, and either statesmanship or an "offer he couldn't refuse" caused him to toady up and pretend it never happened. I'd be bitter, too. But if I were the Patriot that he claims to be, I'd sooner drop out of politics than do what he did in 2008. No amount of cruelty justifies unleashing that harpie on the Nation, or what it's done to our politics.

comrad_darkness July 31, 2011 at 10:44 am

Watching my parents get old and go from partial wingnut to full wingnut made me think he just got too old to follow the overwhelming process of running for office. I'm sure it didn't help that he didn't use the Internet in following the gist of his campaign staff meetings.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 30, 2011 at 12:24 am

You know, if the Democrats had been smart, they should have demanded a single payer health care system be attached to the legislation letting Bush go to war.

Bonzos_Bed_Time July 30, 2011 at 1:43 am

File that one in CL missed connections.

Geminisunmars July 30, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Yeah, if they'd been smart lotsa things.

tessiee July 30, 2011 at 2:39 pm

My theory is that they *are* smart, just spineless, but YMMV.

zhubajie July 31, 2011 at 1:13 am

That's a big "if" there.

Doktor Zoom July 30, 2011 at 12:24 am

Haha, suckers, I just watched The Book of Eli, so I know how to prepare for the future. Got me all the KFC wet-wipes I need to get through the Apocalypse.

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 1:00 am

Just be careful how you use them.

Atlas Frooged July 30, 2011 at 8:48 am

'Drunk on Purell' describes the Baggers in a nutshell.

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 11:20 am

"Loony, red-eyed, and combative". It's a keeper.

fuflans July 30, 2011 at 12:47 am

it just occured to me that baggers are in fact act one in the seven ages of man:

At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking* in the nurse's arms.

and all the grosser for being on average 68 and 290 pounds.

Atlas Frooged July 30, 2011 at 8:46 am

Hey, I get that reference! (just saw an outdoor production of As You Like It this past weekend)

Geminisunmars July 30, 2011 at 1:52 pm

So, does this mean it "gets better?"

mourningnmerica July 30, 2011 at 1:52 am

I would like to humbly suggest that any future reference to John Boehner be preceded by the prefix "Tea Party poodle…"

flamingpdog July 30, 2011 at 2:28 am

Not so sure I want to see Boner in the same sentence as poodle. Too Santorumish.

tessiee July 30, 2011 at 2:40 pm

"weeping orange sociopath"?

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2011 at 3:57 pm

I'm on board. Need to exit to my fb page for a minute. In my universe, it will be Teabagglican poodle, John BOehner

Jukesgrrl July 30, 2011 at 5:29 pm

I'm sure there's someone out there willing to dye a white poodle orange, so he could have a mascot. "And out guests tonight on Hardball are Tan Man and his sidekick, Lil Tangerine."

dogscantlookup July 30, 2011 at 1:58 am

Fire It Up!
Fire It Up!
Fire It Up!

smokefilleddoommate July 30, 2011 at 4:29 am

We're fucked! Blingee!! Yay!!

Jukesgrrl July 30, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Good job! I haven't seen enough Blingees lately. Is that the Beeb dancing in the corner?

smokefilleddoommate July 30, 2011 at 6:50 pm

Dammit!! I forgot to include Beeb.. That's actually Dubya.

stew1 July 30, 2011 at 4:37 am

The only good news I can think of is forthcoming arrest of all News Corp employees for hacking everyone's phones.

James Michael Curley July 30, 2011 at 5:17 am

News Corp has reached 'unfliping believable' levels of crude partisanship and general journalistic malfeasance.;
Thursday they ran an article with "text message from Norway terro island"
Today the really big headline was that Obama has lost 37,000 twiter folowers after his campaign to pass debt legislation was launched on teiter. That 37,000 is .36% of his follwers; a fact the Post neglected to mention, along with a source for their count.

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 4:34 pm

They should be arrested on principle, just for having the bad judgement to apply for a job there in the first place.

Negropolis July 30, 2011 at 5:04 am

OT: Saw Rachel Maddow's name trending on Yahoo! Guess Bradlee Dean is suing her for $50 million. Yeah, $50 million.

Geminisunmars July 30, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Uh Oh. Can Wonkette be far behind?

Oh, good. A new fame whore.

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Who's he? I forgot. I'm an Old, you know.

Doktor Zoom July 30, 2011 at 4:18 pm
freakishlywrong July 30, 2011 at 7:40 am

So, in 2012, when the country lies in teabagged ruins, can we finally send all these jackholes back to their anti-Gubbmint militias and civil war re-enactment regiments? They really have no place anywhere near the levers of power and don't know shit about governing.

tessiee July 30, 2011 at 2:41 pm

I've often wondered how this many people who are so effing stupid have gotten to the point where they have any power whatsoever over the rest of us. Shouldn't they be cleaning the smart, decent people's toilets, and not even doing a very good job of that?

Goonemeritus July 30, 2011 at 7:51 am

Just a quick note to all you Teabagers out there (you know who you are). Legislation is passed by a process, it requires both houses to have a say and the President to sign it. Holding your breath and stomping your feet when you represent 20% of America won’t help. Actually holding your breath might work you just need to give it your all.

Negropolis July 30, 2011 at 9:37 pm

Alas, our miraculous bodies have the mechanism of passing out so that we can get air in us when we need it. It may still be an option, though, considering our bodies can't decide when, where, and what we fall on…

LiveToServeYa July 30, 2011 at 8:18 am

Speaker of the House? Try Weeper of the Basement.

freakishlywrong July 31, 2011 at 8:41 am

Speaker of the souse?

Negropolis July 31, 2011 at 10:10 pm

He's not long before he comes to Phantom of the Congress.

voodooeconomics July 30, 2011 at 9:16 am

Debt ceiling negotiations are causing irregular bowel movements. I am in a bad state of nerves lately. Doctor recommends i give them a chance and if not Obama might save the day by declaring all Republicans in Congress as idiots.

Can the Big O do that?

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 10:45 am

Not without a lot of tsk-tsks from David Gergen and Mark Halperin.

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2011 at 4:02 pm

And risking being called a dick by Mark.

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Debt ceiling negotiations are causing becoming irregular bowel movements.


deanbooth July 30, 2011 at 9:21 am

Hey, Americans, look at your 401K — it's a stupidity tax.

Rotundo_ July 30, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Retirement Lotto! Why didn't W market Social Security privitization as Retirement Lotto? The baggers would have gone for it hook line and patriotic sinker! Wait for it, the next thing will be Retirement Lotto, Health Care Lotto, Housing Lotto, Food Lotto! Place your bets and see if fate is kind or if you die, it's always exciting, always entertaining! I can see them now; I want to allow all americans the opportunity to be winners, not just survivors, in retirement. What better than putting your money in the greatest country on earths' investment system and take that spin for freedom. If you win you're set, and if even if you lose, you still have the knowledge that you have made an American, or American subsidiary of a foreign company money! Scratch off tickets are available at any bank, hospital or realtor's office in denominations of 100, 500 or 1,000 dollars or go for the gold with the 10,000 dollar "Lucky Sucker" bonus scratch off where you could win up to 10,000 dollars in medical coverage and a portrait of the greatest president ever, Ronald Wilson Reagan atop a horse.
Buy NOW!!!1!!1!!!!!

Jukesgrrl July 30, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Brilliant! My father — and the "I love everything that's bad for me" Raygun worshipers he hung out with — would have gone for that in a big way.

red_kira July 30, 2011 at 10:29 am

Who can afford catsup?

genxr July 30, 2011 at 10:46 am

"We stayed up all night but we finally managed to wreck the American economy — again. Ball's in your court, Dems."

tessiee July 30, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Improved headline:
Boehner Proudly Passes His Dumb Bill, Senate Immediately Suffocates Him

Jukesgrrl July 30, 2011 at 5:11 pm

It's hard to suffocate a person who's already pickled.

baconzgood July 30, 2011 at 1:04 pm

YES! A well deserved Blingee Jr. Good call.

ttommyunger July 30, 2011 at 1:39 pm

Well, it took the Tea Party to unite the lame-ass Democrats. Will wonders ever cease?

Radiotherapy® July 30, 2011 at 2:10 pm

You mean the lame-ass Dems are united in cutting the social safety net and not asking for a fucking penny in increased revenues? Right?

ttommyunger July 30, 2011 at 2:13 pm

I said united. I didn't say it was a good thing.

lulzmonger July 30, 2011 at 1:44 pm

What kind of Meanie McMeanersons would stifle the patriotism & virtue of Boehner's Cut America's Head Off & Fuck Its Gushing Neck-Stump Act Of 2011?

Sweet over/under on Boehner being too royally hammered to stay standing up for ten consecutive seconds by Tuesday, I imagine.

SexySmurf July 30, 2011 at 3:34 pm

And the House rejects the Reid Plan. America was fun while it lasted.

Jukesgrrl July 30, 2011 at 5:09 pm

If he didn't want it to be rejected, he could have put, "And by the way, ban abortion," at the end of it.

KenLayIsAlive July 30, 2011 at 6:29 pm

So it's the nuclear option then? I assume this means mass suicide with our countries giant nuclear arsenal, is that right? Cool, I'll be outside waiting.

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2011 at 4:03 pm

I know this isn't serious because Tebagglican poodle John Boner hasn't cried. I'm assuming his tears smell like tanning oil and nicotine.

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 4:20 pm

To paraphrase Peter Tork, "his sebaceous glands are permeated with the odor of turpentine".

Ken Cuccinelli July 30, 2011 at 4:05 pm

So anyone else noticing that Spanky got permabanned from the entire Intense Debate system? It looks like they deleted his accounts, since is "2" account is inactive and the "2b" one completely disappeared from my last 5 list. It says "Last 5 Visitors" but there's only four.

Don't worry, if he's enough of a fucking psycho he'll figure out the magic of proxies. I remember we dealt with a particularly mentally ill troll at another blog that pretty much couldn't be banned- they'd IP ban him and he'd go to the library or something. Although the proprietors were kinda unwilling to banhammer anyone, so yeah.

Doktor Zoom July 30, 2011 at 4:15 pm

He still has an active account with another name (Hi, "______" * / Spanky!), but as long as he stays within the Terms of Service otherwise, I'm inclined to leave him be. If he starts abusing the TOS, of course, then it would be time for him to get banned hard.

*See how nice I am? I 19th-century-noveled his new ID just to be gentlemanly!

KenLayIsAlive July 30, 2011 at 6:28 pm

My guess would be totally fucking psycho enough.

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Has anyone noticed that the more Boner is pushed by the teabaggers, the more he smacks between each sentence? He's ever more difficult to listen to.

donner_froh July 31, 2011 at 2:02 pm

You can listen to him? I stand (sit actually) in awe.

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Hey–Ken Conrad to the rescue, probably axing Social Security and Medicaid and giving out those coupons in lieu of Medicare.

The Teabagglicans refused if a constitutional amendment was included until Conrad sweetened the deal by altering the Medicare deal by fulling covering scooters.

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2011 at 4:23 pm

I obviously meant the amendment wasn't excluded, by a got positive thumbs before I realized the mistake and hit edit. Sorry. Illiteracy, however, gives me a view into the world of the Teabbagger economic suicide terrorists.

Spanky2b July 30, 2011 at 4:48 pm


johnnyzhivago July 30, 2011 at 6:03 pm

As a preventive measure, America should seek professional counseling – I wouldn't want the country to end up as a drunken meth addict, stumbling around the parking lot of the UN asking for quarters or standing in line at the methadone clinic while all the other countries were going on with their lives.

KenLayIsAlive July 30, 2011 at 6:25 pm

In this analogy, I'll assume the Tea Party is a really bad case of herpes.

zhubajie July 31, 2011 at 1:17 am

Too late!

johnnyzhivago July 30, 2011 at 6:05 pm

America: Hobo Nation!

DahBoner July 31, 2011 at 7:44 pm

Teabagger: Rich, Stupid, Republican Hobo Bashers

KenLayIsAlive July 30, 2011 at 6:23 pm

Oh man, I'm mad enough to delve into song parody now – To Cee Lo Green's "Fuck You"

I see you drivin' drivin' down
the country i love and i'm like,
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooo
I guess the Change that we voted for
Wasn't enough i'm like,
Fuck you!
And fuck these "Dems" too!

if we were still British, i'd have some healthcare
Ha, now ain't that some shit? (ain't that some shit?)
And though Wall Street sits on a treasure chest
They want their taxes slashed
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooo

Limeylizzie July 30, 2011 at 6:33 pm

Just heard Mike Lee ( Teabugger R.NY) saying that the Tea Party had nothing to do with the fucking shit going on now, what a fucking , fuckfaced, fuckwad, fuckingtonshire cunt.

Steverino247 July 31, 2011 at 12:24 am

You keep talking like that and I'm going to have to wake my wife up…

Limeylizzie July 31, 2011 at 7:27 am

Lucky her!

gurukalehuru July 31, 2011 at 2:28 am

Speaking of which, why doesn't Wonkette make fun of Peggington Nooninghamshire any more?
Bring back the meme.

LetUsBray July 30, 2011 at 7:12 pm

Still holding out hope the prez sees the need for a 14th amendment solution. I'd be okay with a SEAL Team Six solution, too.

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2011 at 8:01 pm

I've been away from the teevee, making an abortive attempt to get to the grocery store and stock up while American dollars are still legal tender, but the alternator light came on, I called the Old Man and got a trip home in the un-airconditioned old farm truck because the other one is in the shop, where now the car needs to go. It's 105F at 6:00. The Old Man heard two actually OLD farts in town. Their conversation? "That Boehner knows more than you or me have forgot."

My life sucks. Any news on the massive depression to come? Has not-much Hopey offered the 'Tards a sweetener? Like, not one but two constitutional amendments? One for a balanced budget and another for anything they want? And now they're demanding the sacrifice of a Democrat's daughter?

How can the guy who killed Osama possibly be such a bad negotiator and have, evidently, no political instinct?

GeneralLerong July 30, 2011 at 9:14 pm

You need some cheering up. Here's this:

Why Alcohol & Drugs Were Invented

flamingpdog July 31, 2011 at 12:02 am

Now I'm really glad there are no firearms in my house.

Doktor Zoom July 31, 2011 at 12:36 am

Jesus, that was good.

Drinking now.

donner_froh July 31, 2011 at 12:59 am

Extraordinary story, beautifully written.

ShaveTheWhales July 31, 2011 at 1:25 am

Wow. Just fucking wow.

ShaveTheWhales July 30, 2011 at 10:20 pm

It is a weird old world when we are once again relying on Harry Reid to do the heavy lifting.

AntonovBureau July 30, 2011 at 8:29 pm

During the Murdoch session with parliament, there was a continual graph showing News Inc's share price as he positively / negatively responded to questions.

I'd love to get a similar second-by-second monitoring of this. Who is going to investigate which hedge funds make money off the default or suddenly averted default? Or for that matter those that enrich themselves with the 'must now buy gold' scam.


not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 8:37 pm

Well, we know that Eric Cantor stands to get rich if the world economy collapses, although he steadfastly denies it.

Sharkey July 30, 2011 at 10:06 pm

"AAA" does not mean what you think it means.

Negropolis July 30, 2011 at 10:12 pm

Well, here we go again. Reid puts off the Senate vote until High Noon, tomorrow, since he doesn't have the votes to pass it. Not a surprise, but disappointing nonetheless.

comrad_darkness July 30, 2011 at 10:43 pm

The press is actually cottoning on to the fact the the Tea Party are nothing more than asinine hypocrites.

Sixty House members backed by the Tea Party, whose opposition to federal spending helped bring on an impasse over raising the U.S. debt ceiling, represent districts that last year received $43 billion in government contracts.

In 16 of those constituencies, spending exceeded $1 billion each — more than twice the median amount for all House districts, Bloomberg Government reported today.

Radiotherapy® July 30, 2011 at 10:59 pm

What sucks is not so much the obvious here, but that somehow this is news to most people.

glamourdammerung July 30, 2011 at 11:19 pm

Too bad the "liberal media" finally occasionally stopped carrying the water for the teabaggers.

BlueStateLibel July 31, 2011 at 9:02 am

Good for the press for finally figuring out that teatards are asinine hypocrites, wildly unqualified, and all in all, utter assholes. It's not like we didn't have candidates like Sharon Angle and Christine I'm-not-a-witch making this abundantly clear in 2008.

Hurricane Ali July 30, 2011 at 10:58 pm

anybody want to go to chatango? or is it too late?

Hurricane Ali July 30, 2011 at 11:05 pm

I guess it's too late – night all

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 11:35 pm

I might, in about 1/2 hour or so. Just puttin the little one to bed.

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2011 at 11:42 pm

Alas, too late for me.

Hurricane Ali July 31, 2011 at 12:00 am

I should know better than to attempt Chatango on a Saturday night (or Sunday afternoon, for that matter). So, off to sleep.

DustBowlBlues July 30, 2011 at 11:54 pm

This has become one of those endless weekend posts but then again, this Teabagged "crisis" is ongoing. I am so tired of waking up to fucking news about how the fucking Teatards are fucking up the economy.

Hasn't the Hatriot game plan from the beginning been to make Obama lose the next election by screwing the economy so the recession turns into a depression and the Dems get the blame? As to the people who suffer, Teabaggers say, "Let them eat cake."

I keep asking myself, won't this economy affect the Kock brothers' "small business?" That's the business I'd like someone to be able to track. They caused this mess, so they must be making money on a depression, no?

I'm off to bed and continuing to read "Ratification." It's getting harder and harder to read these scholarly histories about the revolutionary/constitutional writing period because the more you know about the founding of this nation, the more you want to start shooting on sight anyone who claims to be a TBagtard. Also, Pauline Maier, Ph.D isn't nearly as good a writer as Richard Beeman, Ph. D.

The end. Nitey. Normally I say later, losers, but it appears we are all losers today. Glad to enjoy the gallows humor of the wonket, though.


donner_froh July 31, 2011 at 12:50 am

The life of the economic attaches at U.S. embassies must be really strange about now, trying to explain that the nation is defaulting on its obligations just because it fells like it.

Might be plenty of good seats at the next Treasury bill auction.

user-of-owls July 31, 2011 at 12:52 am

So, it's a quiet Saturday, not too many peeps a creepin'…seems like an opportune time to announce that Ken is dead.

ShaveTheWhales July 31, 2011 at 1:28 am

I find your reasoning very interesting and I'd like to subscribe to your pamphlet.

Or, how does that go?

user-of-owls July 31, 2011 at 4:34 pm

Pamphlet? Who am I, Croesus?!

It's a mimeo. And I don't trust the Post Office, so you'll need to come by the corner of Main and 15th Street. Any day of the week.

SudsMcKenzie July 31, 2011 at 3:27 am

I'm much more worried about "Courtney and that Zucchini". I'm worried cause I haven't seen Campbell Brown in months either.

comrad_darkness July 31, 2011 at 8:23 pm

He's not dead; he just doesn't really love us anymore.

ShaveTheWhales July 31, 2011 at 1:37 am

Is everybody else getting "less than a minute ago" on all comments, or is it somehow an artifact of the laptop I'm using?

not that Dewey July 31, 2011 at 2:13 am

Not me, but that would certainly be confusing. "View by latest activity" would take on a weird new meaning.

Terry July 31, 2011 at 8:37 am

Boehner used the tea baggers to gain control of the House. Now he's paying the price for that mistake. No, we're all paying the price, aren't we?

tardsploitation July 31, 2011 at 10:41 am

Ya nailed it.

freakishlywrong July 31, 2011 at 8:50 am

Maybe it will occur to our "media" on the fine Sunday shows Republicans on Parade, that perhaps electing a bunch of rabid, right wing anti-gubbmint' zealots is maybe not the best thing for the country? And that no, "both sides" are not to blame. It isn't "the congress", it's the right wing extremists in congress. Unless someone is willing to point that out, they'll just keep getting away with it.

Rotundo_ July 31, 2011 at 10:50 am

Ah the Sunday Gasfest, where all the networks go FOX News for an hour or so to appease the corporate owners. I remember watching them like a little political groupie all those years ago, and even taking them seriously. My how the times have changed. They'll tut-tut about bipartisanship, doing their best Broder imitation and make sure that both sides are almost equally to blame, but the Democrat (sic) party will take a little extra for "balance" and they will all conveniently gloss over the dozens of times the republicans have raised the ceiling without so much as a mumble of protest. If they do anything differently, do let me know, I will be shocked.

freakishlywrong July 31, 2011 at 11:47 am

Oh Rotundo, I don't actually WATCH that bewlshit. You're neat little synopsis there sums it up nicely.

johnnyzhivago July 31, 2011 at 9:29 am

Conundrum for Conservatives:

If we run the country the way Tea Party Congressmen run their own finances, we'll stop paying our Child Support – right??? That means cutting off Israel and that means God cuts US out of the happy end times story, right???

What does it all mean?

freakishlywrong July 31, 2011 at 10:15 am

Have the Republics demanded Bo, Sasha and Malia yet?

Rotundo_ July 31, 2011 at 10:54 am

I'd doubt they're interested: They like boys and livestock and the dog and the kids don't qualify. If Barry had a goat and two sons, they'd have been gone during the health care debaucle.

mavenmaven July 31, 2011 at 10:45 am

OT, but I've never seen so much bull$#!+ on one page before, yet this is circulating all over the place, another crazy eyed person making Breivik a leftist and calling democrats "totalitarians".

johnnyzhivago July 31, 2011 at 11:09 am

Find this guy's car and I bet you a million bucks he had a "COEXIST" bumper sticker on it.

BlueStateLibel July 31, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Cops in Norway are now saying Breivik was also considering an attack on Labor Party headquarters.

I can't read the teatard links because the comments read like word salad for the most part. The idiots can't write, can't construct a sentence, don't understand the words they throw around, and generally behave like spoiled eight-year-olds.

johnnyzhivago July 31, 2011 at 11:12 am

It's a good thing we can at least count on America's media to help us sort through this. It would be a shame if they were all nothing but a bunch of either corporate controlled tools or freakish reality show rejects who pandered to ratings and did little more than offer both sides of every debate an equal chance to spew bullshit.

DustBowlBlues July 31, 2011 at 12:44 pm

And don't forget the false equivalencies they offer. To show neutrality. That's helpful, as well.

DustBowlBlues July 31, 2011 at 12:56 pm

I was going to ask this on fb and then realized, no. That's a question for wonkeratti.

Since college, I've believed in the validity of the Hegelian Dialectic. That the pendulum swings right and then left and back again. I keep thinking that this must be it–we have gone so far to the extreme right that the swing back is going to be extreme.

I just read an article in the CSMonitor about how conservative the country has become, and now I'm beginning to doubt Hegel. (btw–car trouble, couldn't make it to church, so I can look up and see Walnuts on CNN so I can tell him to go fuck himself–god's will)

(This is cool–Durban is debating McCain straight up. I never knew "Sunday with the Senate" was such a groovy show. I'll have to start DVRing it).

Back to my point–Does it still work? Is the Dialectic still valid? Will the nation ever go back to being at least moderate? Is there part of the theory I've forgotten since the ancient of days when I learned that shit just long enough to take Dr. Duncan's final exam? Since the finest minds on the internets have to be the wonkeratti recovering from their facing-the-teabag-abyss hangovers, I'm waiting anxiously for an answer from those who have more than just a minor in Political Science.

the_problem_child July 31, 2011 at 1:45 pm

I think the Hegelian dialectic, like everything else, is subject to manipulation and evolution. All bets may be off in a corporatocracy. And I warmly wish you a swing back towards what used to be considered moderate.

4TheTurnstiles July 31, 2011 at 1:49 pm

That aspect of Hegel is just bullshit theology. The only meaning or pattern to history is what people make of it. Here, Marx had it right.

donner_froh July 31, 2011 at 1:59 pm

It has been about one zillion years since I read a lot of Hegel and Marx and even more Kant, immortalized by Monty Python as "Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant who was very rarely stable" and the last time I really worked through a section of "The Phenomenology of Mind" was in the 90s. However I have never been one to let half recalled stuff that I didn't know that well in the first place slow me down, so I won't bore you with that….

I think, though, that Hegel's method has been used to promote some ideas over others by various lackeys–social scientists, journalists, etc. The inevitable triumph of capitalist democracy over all other forms of social organization and production, for example. By destroying the meaning language (class war, job creation, wealth) and changing the terms under which arguments are held the discussion becomes why one type of fascist looting is preferable to the looted than another.

Each new synthesis moves steadily to the right so that its opposing antithesis does also.

There is also the issue of Hegel looking at the movement of BIG events and people through history as opposed to the myriad decisions that created the movement but that's beyond me.

Rotundo_ July 31, 2011 at 2:41 pm

If the pendulum swings with sufficient force to snap free from it's moorings it is no longer a pendulum, but a projectile. Houston, we are go with throttle-up to 110% (crackling noise, followed by hiss). We's no longer ridin' on a pendulum, we's a projectile now. All bets on a return to rationality are off from what I can see. Anyone else see a rebirth of common sense happening anytime soon? Anyone? Tap Tap Tap Hello? Anyone? (cue crickets cheeping, optional cicadas).

axmxz July 31, 2011 at 2:57 pm

Sure, if there's still an economy by the time old white angry people start dying off in more serious numbers.

SudsMcKenzie July 31, 2011 at 3:13 pm

ohh totally, Ive talked to the least political people imaginable here in WI, and they all say its over reach. And I know this is true, cause there all drunks in bars.

weejee July 31, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Hegel knew from Germans, but to his good fortune he had no experience with Hooverroundtards.

BlueStateLibel July 31, 2011 at 3:57 pm

According to my sophisticated calculations, that pendulum will be hitting those teatards (and Bluedog Dems, you know who you are) right upside against the head any day soon.

comrad_darkness July 31, 2011 at 3:58 pm

I don't know from Hegel or Hagel, but I do know that it's stunning how incapable this particular lurch to the right is at learning. Willful ignorance seems to be the only right of passage. As such, I'm sure we'll swing back to socially well-balanced at some point, but half the population will have to die of dysentary and Spanish flu before they clue the fuck into the role of government in maintaining society.

Radiotherapy® July 31, 2011 at 4:51 pm

DBB, I heard the bulk of that debate — and it was a civil debate — this afternoon. Walnuts doesn't seem to like the teabaggers too much, but nonetheless, he is still so far right as to be disgusting. That's the problem. The pendulum is broken. The teabag propaganda snapped it quickly when it was starting it's swing from the black man in the White House. This debt ceiling debacle showed the whole discourse is stuck on Right.

user-of-owls July 31, 2011 at 7:47 pm

Hegel or no Hegel, yes DBB, it will snap back. The extremists are loud and extremists always start with an initial advantage due to voter motivation. But once in positions of authority, the great sluggish middle (which contrary to the punditocracy is not becoming any more conservative than it was, which is to say maybe, maybe, mildly conservative) reacts. They get off their rumps and actually vote for reason. This is documented, validated by solid research. Google "support for raising taxes on the wealthy." Then pick your jaw off the table. It's insane…how many, like 19 polls showing majority and super-majority support for that?

An anecdotal observation might serve better here. My dear old mom, as white and O'Reilly-watching as any of the presumed Tea demographic, voted for Barry. Why? "How could he possibly think that Palin is able to be VP? I can't stand that woman!" And now, as she (New England) and I (Arkansas) suffer through this inhuman heat, she snarked that of course climate change was a conspiracy, "God, what idiots," unprompted by me. Now, it was quite disheartening to me that she threw in the towel ("Doesn't matter what I think, they'll do however they want.") on the current crisis, but she'll vote, by gum. And a whole load of others like her will vote too. The Bags may well shatter the two party system by shattering one side of it: the GOP. Maybe not, but if I was betting, my money would be on yes, they will kill through factionalization the Republican party.

And, oh…I have a bit more than a minor in Political Science. A doctorate, actually.

FakaktaSouth July 31, 2011 at 11:23 pm

The sheer numbers of people who are now in some kind of need will have to create an atmosphere of "what can I do with my vote to help myself," finally – right? Please say yes. (I have given up on the majority doing things for common good when I hear people "justifying" a poor child's need for healthcare by explaining how it "costs you money" for them to go to the ER, not just, ya know, all kids/people in a civilized society should have access to decent medical care) I believe what you are saying so strongly – that people cannot be so blind, so willing to suffer for an illusion of superiority or vote for a party because they are "lifelong repubs" (or whatever has made so many vote AGAINST their interests) that even now, when they are being negatively impacted BY MORONS that they won't take this more seriously. Government here is a lot about screwing people, but we still (mostly, except maybe now in WI) get to kinda eventually choose not to be screwed and instead represented – we SURELY HAVE to start choosing better SOMEDAY, no?
Huh. Look at me being all sunny in spite of it all. Oh well. You made me feel better anyway.

Ken Cuccinelli July 31, 2011 at 1:08 pm

By the way, at least one gov't agency is sending out distribution-list emails from cabinet-level secretaries saying their employees are expected at work on Monday. I didn't think that this bullshit might mean I'd get a few unscheduled days off. Thanks, buddy!

Rotundo_ July 31, 2011 at 2:46 pm

You will get paid for the day, sooner or later, and the value of the dollars we all are paid in might make them more practical as toilet paper (in the smaller denominations, at least) but fortunately (or not) you'll probably have to show up. I think the folks on Social Security must be getting the most annoyed over all this brinksmanship, but federal employees have to be coming in a close second or third to them. Hang in there…

Ken Cuccinelli July 31, 2011 at 8:10 pm

Well, to be perfectly honest with you I'm a mercenary contractor but somehow I doubt my company will pay me out of the goodness of their heart if the government isn't paying them for my work.

Chet Kincaid July 31, 2011 at 3:17 pm

It's kind of ridiculous that Wonkette doesn't post on the weekends. This weekend of all weekends!

At the very least, throw up space-marking posts on Saturday and Sunday, to make it easier for commenters to carry on without the last post on Friday growing to 2,000 comments with threads so long they go off the right side of the screen and wrap around to the left, like Pac-Man.

rocktonsam July 31, 2011 at 3:41 pm

will this weekend be any more retarded than the weekend we'll have in six months?

I'm busy stocking up hobo beans and spotted cow,

rocktonsam July 31, 2011 at 3:43 pm

will this weekend be any less retarded than the weekend we'll have in 6 months?

i'm too busy stocking up hobo beans and spotted cow.

Rotundo_ July 31, 2011 at 5:28 pm

In many ways Chet, I agree, but looking at it from their perspective, they probably need to retreat to a quiet, dark, media free place and rehydrate and try not to completely lose their minds for a couple of days. Look at what happened to Ken Layne. I'll bet he was shooting rainbows out his keister when he started, now it's all about dystopian novels and hobo beans and canned food and shotgun shells. Maybe they need a part-time weekend correspondent to keep us going, and to cover for the daily folks when they need trips to rehab, in-patient psychatric care and all the blowback that has to come from watching this without flinching or blinking.

johnnyzhivago July 31, 2011 at 5:55 pm

If they went to weekends they would have to increase the price!

Radiotherapy® July 31, 2011 at 6:03 pm

The Wonkettes is hard.

DahBoner July 31, 2011 at 7:48 pm

Plus, Fin de Semana is The American Dream…

Chet Kincaid July 31, 2011 at 5:33 pm

It looks like Congress is coalescing around The Avenger Compromise: Samuel L. Jackson is organizing a team of Super-Legislators who will decide before Thanksgiving which limbs get hacked off the government:

In a related development, Franklin Roosevelt was unfrozen from a block of ice at the North Pole, was informed about current events, and commented "Be afraid. Be VERY afraid!"

mumbly_joe July 31, 2011 at 5:59 pm

I love the part about how if the plan to massively slash entitlements and do nothing about our historically-low-and-miniscule-relative-to-the-developed-world taxes (i.e, give Republicans 99% of what they want) doesn't work, then we get to… also massively cut spending.

And apparently the last sticking point is whether that second thing is only 50% things that the Teahadis want to slash, or if it's mostly things the Teahadis want to slash. BIPARTISANSHIP!!!!!!11

weejee July 31, 2011 at 7:05 pm

McTurtle's sense of bipartisanship is to tell Hapless Harry Reid "Here's your sword, now fall on it" while Boehner gives Pelosi a lift to mid-span of the new Wilson Bridge where she ties cinder blocks to her feet and jumps into the Potomac. Repugs assist the suicides of the Demrat leaders of both chamber pots. Byepatisanship at its best.

Barry meanwhile cooks a nice veggie feast for the family.

mumbly_joe July 31, 2011 at 8:14 pm

Seriously. I mean, the "last sticking point" for Republicans is that they don't like the enforcement mechanism. You know, the part of the deal that would kick in if either party renegs on the plan later and is supposed to be so painful as to encourage every one to play nice? They're upset, because it's designed to also kinda hurt them, the party that invented this "crisis" from whole cloth and has negotiated in bad faith at every juncture since January 2009. Perish the fucking thought.

BlueStateLibel July 31, 2011 at 7:33 pm

Not to worry all, the deal is almost down. Obama and the Dems just have to repeal child-labor laws and meat-packing regulations–at least the latter might cut down on the teatard population, so that's good news there ("Would you care for some rat droppings in your anus burger, sir?")

comrad_darkness July 31, 2011 at 8:21 pm

Wait, there are meat packing regulations?

weejee July 31, 2011 at 8:22 pm

Poo poopy do

vulpes82 July 31, 2011 at 8:35 pm

You know, it's like it's not anything I didn't know long ago, but for some reason it just never sinks in: the comments sections of political websites other than Wonkette are the most maddening, enraging places on the Internet. It's either conservatives braying about SOCIALIZMENS or liberals screeching about how PROGRESSIVE! they are. In a way, I think the latter irritates me more, just because, like, I agree with those people in a general way, but they make me want to join the Tea Party just out of spite, and I don't like that feeling.

Fukui_sanYesOta July 31, 2011 at 8:57 pm

Heh, I know exactly what you mean. I had to stop reading democratic underground for the reasons you mention. When it comes to starry-eyed idealists who you want to give a slap to to wake 'em up, that place takes the cake.

For some reason it seems like the comment section of Yahoo is filled with the most vile, illiterate, racist and pig-ignorant scrotes on the entire internet.

vulpes82 July 31, 2011 at 9:01 pm

You see, that's the thing, I know NEVER to read Yahoo or newspaper website comments, but I can't seem to resist, say, TPM's comments, which are really nothing more than people yelling, "PROGRESSIVE!" and "OBAMABOT!" and "FIREBAGGER!" at each other all day, every day.

Rotundo_ July 31, 2011 at 9:17 pm

Vile, illiterate, racist and pig-ignorant scrotes pretty much describes most of humanity these days. All this glorious work in medical science to prolong life and it comes down to that life being controlled by semi human greedmachines who find suffering and humiliation of those around them light entertainment. Yay. We're number one and all that shit.

ShaveTheWhales July 31, 2011 at 9:09 pm

God's Balls. I've been a party-line Democrat my entire voting life, and I'm beginning to wonder why. What's this? Third time's the charm to give the Republicans everything they could possibly want, and help them not fuck it up?

A Super-dee-duper Congress where all the fucking Republicans will have to do is stonewall and wait for one "moderate" Dem to crack? What a great idea.

Can our esteemed leaders not read fucking exit polls? Apparently not. The biggest reason for the carnage in 2010 was not some vast outpouring of Teatards, it was the vast in-staying of the liberals and young folks that provided the push for Bammers in 2008. Why did they not get out and vote? (1) Maybe they're fickle, or they were high, or something. (2) They didn't see any compelling reason why they should. (Pick one).

Is this legislative excrescence going to provide a compelling reason in 2012? Well, I know what I think. I hope I'm wrong.

Fuck. I knew this was gonna happen, but I still let my hopes get up. That hope is a fucking drug, you know?

Chet Kincaid July 31, 2011 at 9:26 pm

Probably the 6th time I've posted this over the last year, but Democrats need to campaign as if we have a parliamentary system, and they need to campaign permanently. No election is ever final, and no President has power unless his party effectively controls Congress as well. Re-elect the President AND re-take Congress: it is, and must be sold to the American people as, a package deal.

And you know what, if the American people reject this, and if Democratic voters stay home, we as the American people deserve what's going to happen to us. I am tired of waiting for the Big Crash — we have been on the precipice of economic disaster since the 70s, and that is all I have heard since my adolescence. As I have also written about 6 times this year, we will learn nothing until it all falls apart around us.

ShaveTheWhales July 31, 2011 at 9:38 pm

I agree with much of what you say, but "Sorry about that, but re-elect the Prez and a super-majority in both houses and then you'll see some action" isn't a very powerful campaign slogan.

Chet Kincaid July 31, 2011 at 9:45 pm

Why not? It's a strategy, not a slogan. Very capable people exist who can make slogans and campaigns out of strategy.

Would it be better to lie and say "I will accomplish magical things all by myself without legislative support?" and then fail at them?

Also, I didn't say "super-majority" — simple majorities in both houses would be better than what we have right now, wouldn't it? I would even take a very strong majority in one house over what we have now.

vulpes82 July 31, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Well, the problem with the Senate is you can have a super-duper majority and still not be able to do anything, with filibusters and holds and "I don't feel like voting today" procedures.

Nothingisamiss August 1, 2011 at 7:25 am

I completely agree. I've been thinking these thoughts, grim and angry for the last..uh, I don't know, long time? Bammer needs to get out and sell the super majorities in both houses and articulate why. I'm so tired of the hope being shit on time after time, while petulant tea tard children hold up western civilization. And I'm also fucking angry at the stay at home dems who think that letting the maniacs run the show giving us global collapse will "teach us a lesson" so that the smoldering ruins will be ours next time. (See: Iraq war, Dick Cheney, Guantanamo, etc. for the good that Ralph Nader brought us.)

rocktonsam July 31, 2011 at 9:10 pm

and all FOX NEWS can muster is Lindsay Graham and David Vitter to sort it all out


Rotundo_ July 31, 2011 at 9:22 pm

Diaper Dave is a bit of a surprise, but if one gets between Lindsay and a camera, one gets mowed down. I suppose the rest of the senatorial griftercorps are either elsewhere on camera or jetting out of town on Koch or other corporate jets to bask in the afterglow.

cheetojeebus July 31, 2011 at 9:15 pm

I just don't understand why the terrorist wing of the republican party didn't ask for more? they probably would have got it. Why not repeal roe v wade? how about outlaw homosexuality? Why not ask for a lazyboy, a hoveround and free lunch at mickeydees? fuckin idiots. If you're going to hold a gun to grandma's head to get your six-pack why not ask for everything.
BTW it's not like they didn't say they were going to do this. Why didn't harry and friends plan a better response?

Papa_Uniform July 31, 2011 at 9:33 pm

Barry gave them everything but a blow-job. Oh, wait. He did?

ShaveTheWhales July 31, 2011 at 9:46 pm

I'm going to log off for a while so as not to offend any commenters with intemperate remarks. Good night and good luck.

Chet Kincaid July 31, 2011 at 9:52 pm

Well, enjoy your evening as much as you can. I hope you weren't about to go off on me, since we seem to be the only ones in the bar right now!

Radiotherapy® July 31, 2011 at 9:57 pm

The Bush/Obama tax cuts stand.
And they will still excoriate the articulate, if ineffectual, President as a tax and spend liberal with a radical socialist agenda who is responsible for this whole mess. They've got goal #1: No tax increase, and now goal #2: defeat Obama, is next.
And as a bonus: scissors in the social safety net and the military-industrial-socialist complex remains sacrosanct.

Fukui_sanYesOta July 31, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Case in point – redstate today:

"Historically, the growth of government statism has been irremediable. For every “100 yards” that they have advanced, our most successful counteroffensive has only slowed their rate of advance by a few yards. Now, after 80 years of soft-socialism, and 2 1/2 years of hard-Marxism, if nothing drastic is done, the government will control our healthcare sector, financial sector, and many other large components of our once proud free market. In other words, we are down big in the Super Bowl of socialism."

Insane people.

Carrabuda August 1, 2011 at 8:18 am

Hard Marxism. As if. Wusses. I'd like to go all Cultural Revolution on their asses.

Negropolis July 31, 2011 at 10:06 pm

Dear "Job Creators":

But by the grace of our nominally Democratic president with centrist tendencies have you avoided Apocolypse 2.0. By his grace has are you allowed to keep your gold. Please let this be a realization to you to stop holding this nation hostage by bank rolling the tea party and it's sympathizers. He is the only thing standing nominally in between you and them, and he's barely doing that.

P.S. If you think Romney is the best choice next year, if you truly believe that he has the balls of the power to keep that flimsy wall between those crazy bastards and your personal wealth and fortune standing, if you believe that they'll protect you after they have completely scaled the city walls, you're fucking idiots. You don't even know how good you have it with Barry. You fuckers better quit undermining the last thin line of defense. The Tea Party zombies are coming for brains. BRAINS.

Chet Kincaid July 31, 2011 at 10:14 pm

Remember what happened the LAST time we bankrolled the Taliban?

Nothingisamiss August 1, 2011 at 7:26 am

And now we get to bankroll our very own . It's sweet how hictory does that.

mumbly_joe July 31, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Honestly, the thing that has me most incensed about the Cut, Capitulate, and Declare Victory deal is the fact that Grover Norquist is happy. I'd be willing to give away the fucking store, if we could just avoid giving Norquist even a single moment of joy.

BarackMyWorld July 31, 2011 at 10:42 pm

Ok…I don't why everyone takes these deals so seriously. It's not like they won't try and undo it when the next budget is due and we'll be right back at square one negotiating again.

Negropolis July 31, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Can the Dems at least start talking about about "job-killing deficit cuts"? It's time to take off the gloves, after this. I want to use the dirtest tricks in the book to make the tea party pay for their rank selfishness.

Radiotherapy® July 31, 2011 at 11:25 pm

Of course, any and all of our economic ills are ALWAYS the result of the Dems (Obama first, and foremost). Did they even put gloves on?!!?? More like cower and wimper. Fucking Walnuts was tougher on these economic tearists than any pussyfart Dem.
And remember, historically, the Dems have been weak on national security, crime, capitalism, communism, religion, race relations, drugs, guns, the Constitution, corruption, health care, scandals, small business, the troops, corporations, family values, right to work, flag pins, and any other convenient fear the Right can conjure up

Hurricane Ali July 31, 2011 at 11:06 pm

Hey, I'm here in the bar – any commentariats awake to talk about the "deal" that's been effectively okay'd by about three people? Was looking on TPM at Boehner's powerpoint pres on the thing – Ezra Klein says he's wrong on several aspects, in the comments the folks are firebagging all over the place that SS is on the chopping block when it has been exempted, along with military salaries and veterans benefits.

Even with Boehner's happy-face cut-cap whatever he was talking about in the slideshow, this is a dopey deal and I'm betting Pelosi is going to have a hard time in the house rallying the troops behind it. Any thoughts?

DustBowlBlues July 31, 2011 at 11:38 pm

So, I turned to the Law and Order SVU marathon while I vacuumed, watered the plants we're going to try to save, made a couple of loaves of homemade honey-wheat bread and watched Zen on Masterpiece Mystery. When it was over, I remembered hey, that whole debt ceiling. Wonder what happened to that.

Turned on CNN, heard "Democrats came out of the meeting claiming the Rs didn't get everything they wanted" and got sick to my stomach. Ate more bread out of nervousness, watched 5 minutes of MSNBC and listening to J. Alter and Richard Wolfe, both looking glum, to get the confirmation. The Democrats bent over the desk in the Oval Office and took one for the sake of the world economy. My only surprise is that Hopey didn't write the 5 or 6 constitutional amendments those assholes technically still have going on slips of paper, put them in a sack and let Boner pick one out of the "president's giveaway grab bag."

The I read on wonkette that Norquist is basically running around the Capital rotunda crowing like Mary Martin in "Peter Pan."

And instead of calling this what it was–an extremist faction playing chicken with the world's welfare, Obama will say "Both sides came together" when all the fuck it is, is one side caving to an extremist faction. I keep hearing how he is doing all this shit because he needs the Independent vote. I hope he gets a lot of it, because he's going to need it. I keep hearing the undercurrent in the WH is, where else are the liberals going to go? They're going to vote for a Republican? No, but they may choose to stay home and clean house and make homemade bread.

Nothingisamiss August 1, 2011 at 7:30 am

Amen, DBB. Except that if the stay at homes stay at home it will piss me off even more. I hate that fucking imminent collapse of western values the tea tards bring to the table, but the only way to even marginally change this is if we vote (knowing what he's done) for Barry and hope for our super-duper majority. Harry Reid will cave, All the "moderate dems" in the senate will fuck us over, but maybe the entire safety net won't go away just as I'm going to need it. (Soon.)

DustBowlBlues July 31, 2011 at 11:46 pm

Oh, and I'm afraid Bill Maher is correct on this one. If they president caves on this one, the Republitards will own him.

When is the vote? Will someone let us know if Bill Maher is making any appearances on news shows this week? This will make Keith O worth watching on Monday. I wonder if he's frustrated Current doesn't have the mojo to have followed this live. And if hey did, fuck. I missed it.

Radiotherapy® July 30, 2011 at 12:19 am

Obstinate teabagger politics aside, How you dewing Dewey? I'm down with snark and compassion. It's not far from humor and reasoning.

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 1:08 am

I'm doing well, thanks for asking. In four short weeks, I have lost 15 lbs (I got rid of all those whiskey calories, but I fear I am making up for it with ice cream calories!), my blood pressure and cholesterol are back to normal, the insomia is mostly gone, my wife doesn't hate me so much any more, and I no longer watch the clock while I'm spending time with my daughter.

Friday evenings are still the worst, craving-wise. It's hard to get home from work and not want to laze around with a NYTimes crossword and half a fifth (a tenth?) of Red Label. But the feeling passes, I make dinner, spend time with the family, watch some Netflix and read a book instead. I've also had way more time on my hands, and a compulsion to remain busy, so I've gotten all kinds of shit done around the house.

That's probably way more than you wanted to hear. And it's getting increasingly difficult to put obstinate teabagger politics aside.


Bonzos_Bed_Time July 30, 2011 at 1:30 am

Go ride a bike! Fer realz, probably the best way to deal with addictions. Other than taking up smoking that is.

If I'm representing it half way correctly, has something to do with the brain's perceived cycling as dangerous. So your brain kinda' half way thinks you're going to die, so it really focuses on the cycling. Results in a calming/meditative effect. Addictions, ADHD, some personality disorders all benefit from it.

Or I could just be making this up. Either way, go hop on a bike!

Radiotherapy® July 30, 2011 at 1:45 am

You're inspirational, if humble. In the complex existence of our lives, if I could wait until a "feeling passes," I would be a much better person. Sober, or otherwise, obstinate teabagger politics are like an open bar at an AA meeting.

Atlas Frooged July 30, 2011 at 8:40 am

I wish you strength and offer you my best thoughts. I know it can't be easy. Keeping busy really helps.

user-of-owls July 30, 2011 at 12:03 pm

For what it's worth, I am proud of you amigo. I am also using you as a role model: D-Day is this coming Monday. Send a smidge of your strength to me. I'm scared.

tessiee July 30, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Drink a LOT of water. It was surprisingly helpful when I quit smoking.

Also, I have a tiny "We Can Do It!" Rosie the Riveter fridge magnet that I looked at every day (sometimes many times a day) when I was going through the worst of the nicotine cravings. You're becoming a stronger person. Good for you for having the strength not to let your habits control you. You should feel proud of yourself. You can do it.

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 1:35 am

I have been biking, but probably not nearly as much as I should. Thanks for the tip. Every little bit helps.

As far as smoking goes, that was my first (and hopefully last) addiction. One of the veterans in my group said "whatever you do, DO NOT TRY TO QUIT SMOKING RIGHT NOW!"

Bonzos_Bed_Time July 30, 2011 at 1:55 am

Great! Stick with it. Here's a good article on how it impacts ADHD, but the same principles apply to depression, addictions, etc.

Just don't become one of those mean dry-drunks (W, we're looking at you…). :-)

mumbly_joe July 30, 2011 at 1:17 pm

For me, it's always been the damndest thing. I know I have a personality that leaves me prone to addiction, and know there's a history of addiction on both sides of my family (joking here aside, I'm very careful for that reason about drinking and very self-concious about how it impacts my personality, lest it progress to becoming A Problem. I refuse to gamble, for the same reason- I've seen it be a problem for other family members, I can empathize with the appeal it has to them, and that scares me), but smoking has never done a damn thing for me. Like, at all.

I mean, it's pleasurable enough, and I do carry a pack of cigs when I go out (mostly just as a potential excuse to chat up a lady outside the bar if we hit it off), but I it takes me an average of 3 months to go through a pack, and I've just as easily gone twice that long without so much as thinking about it. Not really sure what's up with that, must just be unusually resilient in that one way.

PristineODummy July 31, 2011 at 10:49 pm

I just quit this year, and that guy totally knows what he is talking about. Previously, for nigh on four decades, I always sabotaged my quitting efforts by trying to quit EVERYTHING simultaneously, which simply turned me into a murderous mess. I'm not quitting booze till I'm well and truly over the cigs, which, at 7 months, it looks good.

Lascauxcaveman July 30, 2011 at 2:18 am

LOL, I may not be a bona fied alcoholic (I quit drinking for eight or ten days last spring and never had a craving) but given your conversation, I can't help but point out here how very much fun it is to get smashed and ride your bicycle really fast, at night. I've got some hills that make for insanely fast descents around here.

I will very likely die from thrill-seeking long before liver disease claims me.

Doktor Zoom July 30, 2011 at 12:54 pm

That brings new meaning to the old joke:

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb?

Hey, let's ride bikes!

Bonzos_Bed_Time July 30, 2011 at 2:27 am

Drink, bike, fast, night. For me, it's pick any three of the above! I don't think I could manage the fourth.

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 9:28 am

That's known as a "monogooglaticism" — when a google search returns only one hit.

James Michael Curley July 30, 2011 at 9:58 am

That there are people who gave it a name scares me more. I’m going back to chalk boards as the source of all knowledge. Preferably with Miss Clemmens of the tight sweaters, short skirts and English accent standing in front of them.

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 10:12 am

A friend at work suggested that word to me about a year ago. I googled it at the time, and it returned no hits, making it agooglatic, I suppose, and a genuine word-coinage.

Monogooglaticisms are exceedingly rare, and transitory. As you can see, there are now four searchable references to "hendekafecta", meaning it is no longer monogooglatic.

Tight sweaters are nice, too.

OneDollarJuana July 30, 2011 at 11:58 am

Or Peter Falk. Oh, right. You can't ask either.

AJWjr. July 30, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Agreed. I gave up on NFL during the '87 strike, and MLB in '94, hadn't watched a single baseball game until last season's World Series because come ON, Giants. For the most part, they've priced me out of the circuses part of the bread and circuses metaphor, so all that's left is paying attention to DC politics, and rooting for the lions.

Rotundo_ July 30, 2011 at 1:28 pm

Lindsay is no doubt scared shitless about the teatards-and justifiably so. Orrin was a bit of a surprise as well. The rest of them are nutter/grifter/rising republican stars.

tessiee July 30, 2011 at 1:34 pm

As a Sesquipidalian-American, I shall immediately don a tight sweater in tribute to my fellow Word Nerds.


FakaktaSouth July 30, 2011 at 2:36 pm

I know the baggery goes on in the south, but honestly – LG surprises me. It seems to me that the MAJORITY of the active repub-type-people around here in big Dick Shelby-ville, and I would guess in GrahamCracker's SC district, are still of the "I'm a rich, white, frat guy wannabe" Republican mold (even the womens) and less of the raging lunatic teabag variety – Mo whatshisname nothwithstanding. (also, ReEEEeally not jacked up about weirdo flip flopper Mormon Romney. Mormons are "other.") They are STILL more W and less Palin – which may seem like ignorance without a distinction, but there is a class thing there. And the people I'm talking about don't all have "real money" by ANY means, it's the ASSOCIATion. (same with going to church) You know? Here, with the people who play the game, a lot of it is not really what (if) you think, but how what you say you are makes you "look" (ie, "better than") and even from down here a lot of the bags look undignified – and not real up on even how repubs do stuff. The people here know VERY little "specifically" about their own politics, it's what "feels right" AND the Jesus divide is fun between conservative Christians and teabaggers and "old school " repubs. I'm a hater all the way around though, so it is interesting as hell to watch these worlds collide…too bad it's also destroying the country.

AddHomonym July 30, 2011 at 3:30 pm

And to be fair, I guess on the Internets and the Twitters there could be several brinks up to which I could drive my manship.

Doktor Zoom July 30, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Just watch where you do your manscaping.

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 4:53 pm

If we can find a discreet way to exchange phone #s or email, I'm happy to do it (unless that violates some arcane Wonket rule). I want you to succeed. I don't want you to be scared — fear may allow you to make excuses and doom you in advance.

There's that chatango thing, we could probably sneak over there.

FlownOver July 30, 2011 at 5:16 pm


It can be done. I went from 80-proof to zero a couple of decades back, just to prove my hostility had nothing to do with my intake.

donner_froh July 31, 2011 at 1:13 am

Both of you–Dewey and owls–a bunch of nuns who you don't know are praying for you success. I don't believe in god (God) as such, at least the Christian/Jewish/Muslim version but for some reason I believe that concentrated prayer (or something like it) from a dedicated group can be effective.

I realize it doesn't make much sense but it can't hurt.

PristineODummy July 31, 2011 at 10:51 pm

You're quitting smoking? Or what?

Best wishes, whichever or whatever it is. Just remember to have your network of friends set up so you can call/email/visit and kvetch when you need. It really helps. And I offer whatever help you can possibly derive or need from me.

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Yes, please upload your refrigerator magnet, and some pizza.

I got some Rosie the Riveter crime-scene tape from Archie McPhee that I use only for special occasions.

I'm drinking so much water that I'm barely hungry anymore. Of course, I live in the desert, so I'm constantly dehydrated anyway. I've reintroduced ginger ale into my diet, including some of those "fancy" ginger ales. Teapocalypse is near, so I may as well waste my money on something.

WABishop July 31, 2011 at 8:00 am

Also, drinking a soft drink the same way I drink an alcoholic drink works for me. Put a small amount of Coke (like a quarter of a can) in an old-fashioned glass with some ice and drink it in sips over the course of an hour. Repeat as needed.

Jukesgrrl July 30, 2011 at 6:02 pm

Excellent analysis. Which cable channel is your program on?

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 6:31 pm

The Nerds appreciate your Tribute.

user-of-owls July 31, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Hubba hubba!

PristineODummy July 31, 2011 at 11:43 pm

A fellow-sesquipedalian! Hurrah, rejoice!

user-of-owls July 30, 2011 at 8:40 pm

I've been thinking along the same lines. Let's see what Monday brings. Words don't express both my deepest gratitude for reaching out and my joy for your ongoing success. Promise I'll let you know right away if trouble lurks.

user-of-owls July 30, 2011 at 8:42 pm

Thank you immensely, Flown…tears of gratitude right now, in fact. Don't care about your gender or inclinations, I'm sending a huge hug.

KenLayIsAlive July 30, 2011 at 8:47 pm

Look, I've fapped to some weird stuff, but this is really beyond the pale.,_o

RavenRant July 30, 2011 at 9:31 pm

Not a huge fan of Barney Frank in general, but I was that day. Didn't he also ask her, "What color is the sky in your world?"

Hurricane Ali July 30, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Man, I love me some ginger beer, because it has more bite than ginger ale – we bought some Boylens Ginger Ale for our cookout today, because we had people over who don't drink (I wasn't drinking because I had to grill). It is mighty tasty, though.

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 10:11 pm

I'll have to try the Boylen's, if I can find it. My small-town store doesn't have much, but they stock Hansen's Cane Soda ginger ale — super creamy! Next time I'm in the big city, I'll stop by one of the microbreweries that do their own ginger ale. mmmmmm….

not that Dewey July 31, 2011 at 8:53 am

And who doesn't drink because he's grilling? WTF? That's not a reason.

PuckStopsHere July 30, 2011 at 10:13 pm

The nerds would appreciate it even more with pics. (Hint, hint.)

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 10:25 pm


Jean Schmidt's not so bad, except for the Republican thing.

PristineODummy July 31, 2011 at 11:17 pm

Ah, yeh, those two bitches are enough to soften the hardest of men.

Barb July 30, 2011 at 10:42 pm

User, if you want to exchange email with someone then turn on your notifications for "if someone replies to you…" and then go to an old comment that no one is trolling and leave a message to a person you wish to communicate with. Reply to one of their old messages. They will get an email notice of your message, if they do the same with their notifications. They will reply and you can delete the comment once you've made contact.

flamingpdog July 30, 2011 at 10:54 pm

Sure you can – you just need a good medium. I know one that's short and skinny and just broke out of jail. The headline in the WaPo was "Small Medium at Large".

flamingpdog July 30, 2011 at 10:55 pm

Sorry, that was an eye bleach special if there ever was one.

user-of-owls July 30, 2011 at 10:56 pm

Thanks Barb, you unseemly pee goddess ;)

Seriously, thanks.

not that Dewey August 1, 2011 at 11:54 pm

Don't get me wrong — I'm grateful, too. It sounds like a good idea. But…

Anyone who is following us will see the message show up on their "dashboard" (recent comments from people I'm following). Now, granted in my case that's not very many people, and for 13/14ths of them I wouldn't even mind if they saw embarrassing pictures of my belly button. But there's that pesky matter of Stinky2b. A security vulnerability, as it were.

SarcasticNymph August 7, 2011 at 12:37 am

Ms Barb – how are your daughters the RNs doing? I just got my MS in nurse midwifery and passed boards and have a CA state license!

LetUsBray July 30, 2011 at 10:56 pm

I don't remember it ever being even seriously discussed.

Barb July 30, 2011 at 11:15 pm

You're welcome.

SarcasticNymph August 7, 2011 at 12:39 am

Mr Owls, you once explained which Mesoamerican god was a user-of-owls but I can't find the reference. Being a religion nerd – can you retell the myth?

not that Dewey July 30, 2011 at 11:36 pm

She's certainly ugly on the inside.

zhubajie July 31, 2011 at 12:43 am

Probably he's at least as reliable as the average opinion pollster or economic forecaster.

not that Dewey July 31, 2011 at 2:03 am

The support that I've gotten from the Wonketariat has played a HUGE part in my success so far. Like Owls, I have mentioned this to my therapist, and she's really impressed that there's this giant reserve of kindness and humanity on the big bad internet. I really hope that we can pull Owls through his darkness, too.

Who'd have thought that a website full of elitist commie vulgarians would be the place where people can turn for help like this? Truly amazing. Thank you. And thank the nuns.

horsedreamer_1 July 31, 2011 at 4:04 am

Heather Wilson was one of TPM's Weaseliest Weasels in the George W. Bush 2005 Mandate National Tour/Let's Bankrupt Social Security. Gotta love that woman.

Especially since the Count, Chris Chocola, is no longer with us (i.e. retired from the House).

Hurricane Ali July 31, 2011 at 9:49 am

LOL, don't be all up in my grill – I ain't a dude and it's 100 degrees in my backyard! I get all woozy and start burning stuff if I drink too much while grilling!

not that Dewey July 31, 2011 at 10:14 am

[sigh] … I'm gonna miss that. Whiskey and ribeyes were a mainstay for me. And yes, I burned many things 'cause I was concentrating too much on the whiskey and not enough on the grilling. The worst was when friends were over, we spent an hour on some fabulous meal, only to discover that we waited about 15 minutes too long to go check on it while we had another drink. D'oh! Guess we'd better order some pizza!

And sorry about the gender thing. Lazy use of language, dontcha know.

mayor_quimby July 31, 2011 at 10:16 am

Scientists need to isolate your anti addiction gene and sell that shit, it would put cialis sales to shame!
I always have to ride it out before I change, went from 2 cigars a day for about 5 yrs to 2 total since O's nomination day, donated all my cigar money to the campaign. Only smoked on election nightandi auguration day.

Hurricane Ali July 31, 2011 at 10:21 am

No way, you're the bomb, D. I'm older and remembered all the times I've ruined food on the grill because I was chatting and drinking with friends instead of watching the grill. I'm actually kind of proud of myself for not drinking during the thing because people brought so much beer!

You are my inspiration when I finally stop drinking!

not that Dewey July 31, 2011 at 10:45 am

And ginger ale looks just like watered-down Scotch! Works for me.

comrad_darkness July 31, 2011 at 8:16 pm

Honestly tastes better too the next morning when your mouth is all dry.

I'm not at your level (on one side of this or the other) but I've been finally tackling some personal intellectually heavy projects I left rotting for five years and I'm amazed how getting even two drinks a day out of my life has transformed how much stuff I get done. I'm like a new man. Whenever I think, eh, something with dinner would be nice the demon-angel hybrid jackal creature on my back says: yeah, want to trash the rest of the evening? Go ahead, butthead.

Anyway, long way of saying: More power to ya, Dewey.

Nothingisamiss July 31, 2011 at 8:54 pm

Oh my god, I'm in love with your…words.

Chet Kincaid July 31, 2011 at 9:59 pm

That may be.

I just feel like the 2012 election needs to be positioned as winner-take-all for the legislative and executive branches, if Obama has any grand vision beyond compromising himself into the Republican party, and that he needs to be explicit about gaining the Congress and his mandate back. And on inauguration day, he needs to start campaigning for 2014, to keep it.

not that Dewey July 31, 2011 at 10:42 pm

I hear ya, on the productivity thing. It's the great demotivator. I hadn't undertaken any large-scale projects, outside of work or grad school, in years. And even then, my attention span was for shit. I've read more in the last month than I had in the previous 4 years.

I just spent 3 hours making manicotti AND I WANT SOME FUCKING WINE. But 1 glass ==> 1 gallon. There is no in-between. There used to be.

: (

PristineODummy August 1, 2011 at 1:01 am

That is a wonderful concept. Thank you so much.

LettucePrey August 1, 2011 at 12:29 pm

I believe it was "On what planet do you spend most of your time?"

PristineODummy August 1, 2011 at 1:19 pm

I'm not an authoritarian and I'm not disputing the political truths. What I'm wondering is, why is it a point of contention that the poor deserve decent housing? Singaporeans pay a 15% tax rate on the first 60-120K of income. Housing is subsidised. The poor and working classes are treated as a vital and valuable part of society. Why does this little video clip imply that somehow the poor and working classes are not entitled to decent housing? Is this the general sentiment?

mumbly_joe August 1, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Oh, certainly- I hardly meant to imply that there's nothing worth recognizing about the country. Rather, I meant that its depiction as a "free market paradise" is sufficiently at-odds with reality that I generally suspect admirers who employ that narrative of being attracted by something else entirely.

As far as that video, though, though, years of racial and xenophobic wedge politics have basically engrained a reflexive response of Other People Getting Stuff that I Deserve to basically every program aimed at making sure the poor and working class don't go hungry or homeless. The fact that people like this guy end up vehemently arguing against their own interests, lest Other People get a few scraps too, would be sad, if they weren't such assholes.

RavenRant August 1, 2011 at 5:53 pm

I stand corrected. He doesn't suffer fools lightly.

Barb August 7, 2011 at 12:45 am

I am SO proud of you! Congratulations on your wonderful achievement!

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