It’s nice to hear a story once in a while about things finally working out for the world’s corrupt career politicians, isn’t it? Four-time Louisiana Governor Edwin Edwards, now 83, was serving an 8-year sentence on bribery and extortion charges when he made a prison pen pal who turned out to be a very attractive blond 32-year-old lady who mysteriously fell in love with him. And now for some reason they are married. Fun history fact: Edwards was convicted on charges from crimes during his final term served in office, which he won in 1991 against KKK Grand Wizard David Duke. The AP article notes that Duke did not win because “business leaders feared Duke’s election would be devastating for the state’s convention business because of his extremist views.” Which is a reminder that somehow David fucking Duke made it onto a GOP gubernatorial ticket as recently as 1991. Jesus. Christ.
Alright, so what about the happy couple?
“People who don’t know me don’t know what a wonderful, pleasant, modest fellow I am,” Edwards said when asked how a man his age managed to land a much-younger wife.
He also told reporters how Grimes, who started writing him letters while he was in prison, visited him there regularly on weekends and holidays in recent years.
“The prison was in love with her – they used to watch her walk across the parking lot,” Edwards said, laughing. “They made me the camp hero.”
The two have not talked about what prompted her to choose him as a pen pal.
[AP]
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“They made me the camp hero.” Who came is second place? Convicted janitor of an elementary school with lots of Peppermint Patties and boxes of photos of his little friends?
Easily the campiest hero since the 1960s Batman.
I've got a feeling that "Voted most likely to become a 'camp hero'" shows up in many yearbooks.
I used to think heros were people who ran in burning orphanages and whatnot. Now they're just guys who get hummers in prison. (Which is about 50% of the inmates.)
Wait, no, the heroes are the guys who GIVE hummers. No? The other 50%??
WTH, this guy deserves a chance at happiness in his golden years just for sparing the world from Governor David Duke…
I heard that during that 1991 election, decent people in Louisiana had bumper stickers saying "Vote for the crook – it's important." Wonder what 2012's equivalent will be…
Wonder what 2012's equivalent will be…
"Better the zombie than the psycho."
I see you're envisioning a death cage match between Ol' KrayZEyez and Mitt'sHairHelmet.
"they used to watch her walk across the parking lot"
I bet they did.
With one hand.
But then, to be fair, the Elephant Woman would probably get attention from inmates.
reminder that somehow David fucking Duke made it onto a GOP gubernatorial ticket as recently as 1991.
Viva La Louisiana! Where the whites are whiter — but the brights aren't necessarily brighter.
I wonder if they toasted the happy couple with a lovely homemade wine they whipped up in the prison toilet.
"Prune-o," the call it in the joint. Don't ask me how I know.
Speaking of, did you you ever have that White Brotherhood tattoo removed?
If you're referring to the one on his ass …
Do I detect a hint of ammonia in this Merlot?
Gov Earl K Long approves.
One unnecessary word in the headline–corrupt. Louisiana is Illinois south–all former governors are corrupt.
And all former governors are "former" specifically because they got caught.
Not really, Guppy, Edwards was railroaded by Republican federal prosecuters AFTER he left office and the governor was a republican. The republicans turned one of his former partners and he was left holding the bag. He’s no angel, but as a polititian, he was a damn sight better than the republicans before and after him.
As for the younger wife, its the tradeoff, she provides companionship, he provides the security.
Bon chance, you big crook!
Oh, and bad teeth* alert on the blushing bride.
_______________
*No offense, LL
Hey as Tom Waits said “nothing wrong with her a $100 wouldn’t fix”.
If you can (legally) score with someone 50 years your junior and do better than Edwards did, more power to you. Some minor dental needs are not an impediment when you a) just got out of prison and b) don't have many years left.
You are so correct. Nothing a few visits to the orthodontist can't fix. True love is a beautiful thjing.
Those aren't bad teeth, just big teeth. She lives in horse country and blends in well with her neigh-bors.
Good point. And here’s some good news from your part of the world:http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/30/us/30dam.html?_r=1&scp=2&sq=dams&st=cse
Wait, that's a 32-year-old? I'll chalk it up to the poor quality of the pic.
32 Louisiana years. They say life is slower in the bayou, but the years cost more.
Evidently young chicks think that age spots are hot.
Only if they're spotting against a background of greenbacks.
Um, that's gonna hurt when he rolls over for his regular morning BJ.
now if only all Republicans are as honest as David Duke we might have 50 governorships now !!
I know. I guess after losing in 1991 they realized they should drop the actual klansmen and just go for the klan sympathizers. Progress!
Self-aggrandizing leathery geriatric swindlers need love too, you know.
No, I'm not referring to Sarah Palin. She's only middle-aged and neither needs nor deserves anything remotely similar to human affection, so fuck her with Boehner's severed nicotine-stained forearm for all I care.
I know you're really speaking of Rupert. How's that hot ninjabot wife/bodyguard working out, huh?
He's guilty…of love in the first degree.
♫ Prisoners of love,
Blue skies above,
Can't keep my heart in jail! ♬
I hate to break it to great-grandpa, but they were doing more than just watching her walk across the parking lot, I'll tell you what.
God bless Louisiana, a state whose corruption makes Illinois corruption look damn-near ethical and legal.
Half the white voters in the state voted for Duke. Pretty unsettling victory for the state's brown residents.
“The prison was in love with her – they used to watch her walk across the parking lot,” Edwards said, laughing.
I have nothing to say about this modern day tale of money, corruption, and nonsense.
So here's Paul Newman and company.
~
Andy: Rita Hayworth. Can you get her?
Red: Take a few weeks.
Andy: Weeks?
Red: Well yeah, Andy. I don't have her stuffed down the front of my pants right now, I'm sorry to say, but I'll get her. Relax!
OT: Representative Tim Scott of South Carolina (AKA R-Black Tea Party) is on CNN speaking with John King, right now, and I can't for the life of me place his accent. It's not your black comedian-doing-generic-white-guy accent, it's not an accent from anywhere in South Carolina, it sounds like something from another planet, to be honest.
It is Jupiterian.
Tim Scott is Dr. Octagon.
“The prison was in love with her – they used to watch her walk across the parking lot,”
It is my dream to one day have my husband-to-be say those exact words in our marriage vows. Fingers crossed!
WIN
Their first date at the commissary must have been so romantic.
Chivalry is obviously alive and well in LA!
Sorry, honey, but all that loot he has stashed in is confederate dollars. He's that old!
I need to find me an 83 year old incarcerated female politician to start a correspondence with. My retirement plan isn’t looking as sound as I once thought. Any of you know what Margaret Thatcher has been up to?
She's gone senile, I don't know if that will help your plans or not.
She's drooling and wearing diapers in a nursing home in the UK. With the diaper thing she might be more David Vitters' type. As far as the money goes, it probably went to some conservative think tank in the UK or to Heritage or something here. Makes me kind of sad thinking about money going to waste like that…
But she still had the good sense to refuse a visit from the Snowbilly. and to think I used to really hate her.
I still really hate the former her, and the currently functional motherfuckers who still revere her.
Edit: after reading that, did it make sense? There's no point in hating someone in advanced dementia, but I still hate the idea of Maggie Thatch.
To some degree I have always reserved the creamy center of my contempt for a politician followers. It is of course true that politicians derive their power from their followers. It has never been clearer to me that the majority just ape whatever they believe their followers are mumbling at any given week.
Anyway here is some nice Billy Bragg for all you Thatcher fans. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detai...
Declining to talk to Sarah Palin, last I knew.
More likely that her handlers did the refusing.
So he married Casey Anthony? (It's late and I have a beer waiting for me! Plus this whole debt ceiling crap is kind of stressing me out since my husband is a disabled vet who gets a monthly socialist handout from the government…which he might not get if they don't raise the debt ceiling!)
Casey is still steadfastly refusing the half mil being offered by Hustler Mag. The girl has standards, doncha know!
You can call her a bad mother. You can even call her a baby-killer. But don't you dare call her a ho! That is where she draws that line.
The girl has a lawyer, is all. Gotta make sure she's clear of all civil suits before cashing in.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
Jezus. That's what bugs me is the people who gave their all for the nation (even if they were just young, dumb, and fulla come at the time) and now rely on its honour to sustain their very lives. I just want to kick a few dozen politicians in the nuts, really hard, just for today.
Thanks. I hate 'em all!
If we sold tickets to a nut kicking line up we could solve the national debt.
In fairness, as I stated here before, I voted for David Duke but the other option was David Vitter.
somehow David fucking Duke made it onto a GOP gubernatorial ticket as recently as 1991. Jesus. Christ.
So, you're saying he was just a little ahead of his time?
Duke was also on the ballot around 1999 to replace Bob Livingston. Duke was a teabagger before it was marketed as "cool".
I am going to prison.
You could also just walk across the parking lot in front of the drooling inmates, Derrick.
And, to assure you of a sexual advance you should probably put on your sluttiest daisy dukes. You know, the ones that are practically denim thongs.
If you want to get with the grifter, you've got to do a little graft.
For reasons I can't explain and am afraid to reflect upon more deeply, your comment plays in my head to the tune of a Spice Girls (?) song…If You Wanna Be My Lover, something like that.
Need a pen-pal?
The two have not talked about what prompted her to choose him as a pen pal.
Oh I'm sure they talked about it, just someplace where nobody was listening. We'll have to wait for the divorce to hear about that.
Hey, these crazy kids just might make it, y u b hatin'?
They probably don't have to make it long, he's 83. One too wild night with the viagra and you can forget about the four hour erection, he'll be stiff forever.
Rigor mortis as a marital aid?
Eh, even rigor mortis is only temporary.
"If your body remains stiff for more than 4 hours, call your mortician."
Sadly.
Anna Nicole Smith (bless her name forever) didn't even have to troll a prison to find her sugar daddy. Come on, girls; work smarter not harder.
Well, yeah, but she was Anna Nichole Smith. At least she used to be.
That was really sayin' something, back then. You're comparing way-past-pull-date, mealy apples to some really bodacious oranges here.
To be fair, I haven't even viewed the article, so I have no idea what the woman looks like. I just figured she must at least be something given that when really old, well-to-do dudes grab them a young'un, they usually go out with a bang. You know, the things with the biggest implants, the flatest stomach, and the whitest teeth. You know, something you pick up in a high-end strip club…I've said too much.
No, no, I'd love to hear more.
“'People who don’t know me don’t know what a wonderful, pleasant, modest fellow I am,' Edwards said when asked how a man his age managed to land a much-younger wife."
Yep, incredible modesty.
I am pretty modest too… for how friggin' awesome I am.
Let me see if I can even count the number of much younger wives I;ve landed by being a "wonderful, pleasant, modest fellow". Um, um, it's zero.
Try being a wonderful, pleasant, modest inmate. (Don't forget to bring your pen and writing paper.)
“The prison was in love with her – they used to watch her walk across the parking lot,” Edwards said, laughing. “They made me the camp hero.”
Just as women don't dress for men, but rather to impress other women, many men don't marry for love. They marry the chick most likely to impress their friends.
Uh, I'm not so sure the kind of "friends" one picks up in prison are the sort to impress easy. Marrying a hawtish blonde 50 years his junior just ain't enough for that crowd.
Let's be honest. Given the amount of time some of these guys have had since they last even saw a woman, they'd have overcome with lust at the sight Angela Lansbury who is a spry 85-year-old.
The idea of a cell block full of grim and grimy grinches sporting tattoos of various types and ripped muscle shirts all overcome with lust simultaneously will keep me happy for the rest of the evening. I thank you, O Noble Negropolis, for falling into my trap and supplying fap material.
I was actually thinking after all those long, lonely nights in their cells, they'd be pining for something a bit freakier like, I dunno, that SF lady lawyer with her two dogs.
He is 83… he is HAWT!
Well hell, he's hotter than Hefner.
So's beef jerky, but you don't see … never mind.
It's all the methane in his pantalones.
Ah, Louisiana, where even the sex is corrupt.
And in breaking news, 32 year old Grimes landed a book deal, an interview on The View and a spot on Dancing With the Stars.
And for her blonde looks, a spot on the Fox & Friends couch. Move over Stephen Douchey, there's a new girl in town.
No doubt the happy couple will enjoy many minutes of marital bliss.
Surely they have Viagra in LA?
Dayum, Ttommy, that's about all the ol' fella can take without plumb shriveling up and dying!
Well, he say he "landed her". And Louisiana is the "Sportsman's Paradise".
Did it say what kinda sports?
Hmm, prison marriage. Has anyone looked at the undercarriage to confirm it has lady-bits or is Louisiana cool with that finally?
When I was in we had to make do with yelling cheerfully appreciative obscenities at peoples lady-friends in the visits room. But then I was in with honest murderers and drug dealers, not scummy politicians, so that might account for it.
Late, but:
Yonder come Miss Rosie, how the world did you know?
By the way she wears her apron, and the clothes she wore.
Umbrella on her shoulder, piece of paper in her hand,
She come to see the governor, she wants to free her man.
In most renditions, the governor and the lady's incarcerated lover are distinct people, admittedly.
do ya think that maybe e.e. has some money stashed away somewhere from his bad, bad days as gov., and thass why this youngchickie finds him so irrestistible? money talks, baby!
Old Grimesy getting in the soup again?
I actually had the chance to vote against Mr. Duke in 1991. It was, to date, the most personally rewarding vote I've ever cast, even if I was voting for someone who had already, even then, been convicted of a felony.
I upfist you and rub myself on your avatar for Billy Bragg.
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