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just try to be born rich, is all they're saying.Frothing gremlin mosh pit “the Tea Party Caucus” is psychologically composed of the shrill, whiny kids on the playground who were already yelling “socialism!!!!” by age four when the teacher tried to give another kid a turn on the swings at recess, so here we are today with your adult-size whiny children complaining they won’t vote for John Boehner’s debt ceiling bill because it includes $17 billion in funding for Pell grants, small federal awards which average around $3,700 per college student annually and help over a quarter of college students. This is pretty much a steal compared to the $12,613 that the government spends in Medicaid funds for an unplanned pregnancy, but there is that weird playground nightmare still playing over and over in the Tea Party collective unconscious, so money for college is just “welfare.”

From the Hill:

Rep. Denny Rehberg (R-Mont.) has compared Pell Grants to “welfare”.

“So you can go to college on Pell Grants — maybe I should not be telling anybody this because it’s turning out to be the welfare of the 21st century,” Rehberg told Blog Talk Radio in April. “You can go to school, collect your Pell Grants, get food stamps, low-income energy assistance, Section 8 housing, and all of a sudden we find ourselves subsidizing people that don’t have to graduate from college.”

Yeah, let’s skip all that and go ahead and do a nation of illiterate, starving, homeless pregnant people freezing to death. [The Hill]

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  • skoalrebel

    Who needs an education? I got where I am without one, and you can get there, too.

    In the spirit of true bipartisanship, I'm offering to raise my own debt limit. [spit!] But as Sarah Palin has clearly shown, we can't keep spending Chinese money to buy failed stimulus from illegals who want to take away our guns. [spit!] If you're looking for a man who can secure the border and return America to greatness by not paying its bills, I'm your Hobbit.[spit!]

    • DashboardBuddha

      Genius!

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      Meme overload.
      Or meme overlord.
      One of the two.

      • tessiee

        Mime overload?

  • bagofmice

    I know, right? what did a decent education ever do for them?

  • genxr

    Low income students? Ew! That's gross.

    • proudgrampa

      Well, that's not as bad as the low income graduates we're dealing with these days.

  • ablington

    I've been thinking a lot about it and I'm starting to believe that maybe the Tea party really isn't that helpful after all.

  • arihaya

    stupid Libs,, don't ya know, any Gubbmint money that go to anything other than farm subsidies, military industry, billionaires handout and Rent boy tax breaks are WELFARE !

    • proudgrampa

      Keep your gubmint hands off my SUBSIDIES!

    • prommie

      And "welfare" means scary scary black gang members raping our daughters and getting them hooked on dope.

  • Doktor Zoom

    College just turns people into communists. Pell grants and student loans force good patriotic Americans to subsidize the destruction of America. How is that fair?

  • metamarcisf

    Why not take that $17 billion and give it directly to that hotbed of academic research, the University of Phoenix. If Isaac Newton were alive today, he'd be inventing gravity right there on the UP campus, right next to where the highly ranked football team practices.

    • widestanceroman

      And he'd be a proud holder of twin degrees in Business Management and Gun Repair.

      • AJWjr.

        Snort. I had a double major, gunsmithing and locksmithing. Not even kidding.

        • widestanceroman

          Oh, man. You know that little feeling you get as you hit, 'Submit Comment' where you wonder/worry if another commenter might be offended? Mine was delayed this time.

          Since we're confessing, I have a degree in thesmithsing.

          • AJWjr.

            That's code for something, ain't it?

          • widestanceroman

            Something criminally vulgar.

        • tessiee

          "I had a double major, gunsmithing and locksmithing."

          With additional coursework in poopsmithing?

    • Hey now, at least UP has its own football stadium. Wait, wut? They just paid for the naming rights? Damn. I was eagerly awaiting the 2011 Corporate Grifter Bowl where the University of Phoenix and Kaplan University squared off for the grand prize, ten zillion dollars in Federal student loans for worthless dental-assistant's-assistant degrees.

      • metamarcisf

        UP is currently petitioning the Big 12 to replace the University of Colorado.

  • smashaduck

    Excuse the lack of snark. Just Fuck them. Fuck them all.

    • baconzgood

      Well played ducky.

  • Goonemeritus

    "Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?"

    • Just like Jesus said.

      (My all-time most upfisted comment. Thanks, people!)
      ~

      • Limeylizzie

        I missed that first time around, so I genuflected and then upfisted.

        • To be sure, Wookies stomped everyone with his 335 upfists (so far).

          I believe that's what is known as the "Star Wars effect".
          ~

      • Goonemeritus

        Were it possible I would loath myself even more.

        Apologies to ifthethunderdontgetya

  • LabRodent

    You know who else didn't want to help kids pay for College?

    • genxr

      Thornton Mellon?

      No wait, he bought a round of Shakespeare for everyone, and tried to tame the librarian's shrew.

    • smashaduck

      My step-dad?

    • Heathcliff Huxtable?

    • BlueMonkeh

      My biological father?

    • Doktor Zoom

      Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully?

    • poncho_pilot

      Joe Walsh?

      • Major Thom

        Joe Walsh's parents?

    • baconzgood

      That chick that was my financial aid advisor? No help what so ever.

    • GregComlish

      Michelle Bachmann for the vast majority of her bogus "32 children"

    • SorosBot

      Professor X?

    • VaWyo

      Jesus?

    • chicken_thief

      John Wayne Gacy?

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      Casey Anthony?

    • Ayn Rand?

    • ph7

      Ray Kroc?

    • horsedreamer_1

      KanYe West?

    • SmutBoffin

      Those bastards in the strip club who sit at the rail and don't lay out any $-bills?

    • tessiee

      Ronnie Raygun?

  • freakishlywrong

    The Triumph of the Shrill.

  • OkieDokieDog

    The terrorists have won. Americans hate Americans more than the terrorists do.

    • Well, I sure despise those teabagger dipshits, that's for sure.

    • tessiee

      No, they only hate smart Americans.

  • First, you let the youth go to college, and they get an "education".

    Next thing you know, they start listening to scientists instead of Bill O'Reilly.

    See? SOCIALISMS!!!!
    ~

    • SorosBot

      Those kids go to college, and soon enough they'll start believing that global warming exists and evolution is real just because they're proven scientific fact instead of swallowing whatever lies Fox tells them to believe, and we can't have that!

      • tessiee

        All the information they need is in the bible anyway, right?

  • Barb

    I get a little sick of the politicians acting like it is their money. Do they know that it is OUR money that they extracted from us in the first place? Bastards!

  • My god man, why not just post instructions for how to build a nuclear bomb for the terrorists?

    Gotta go, I'm off to get into college, graduate, and move into the projects and hope that Hugo Chávez ponies up for another year of heating assistance. Who in the projects won't be spellbound my hilarious tales of college hijinks? Smell ya later, suckers!

  • widestanceroman

    Keep the gubmint out of my gubmint loanz!!111!!!!

  • SayItWithWookies

    The development I enjoy most in Boehner's dumbass attempts to get Teabagger votes is the balanced budget amendment rider he added this morning — because when you're running out of time to pass a bill so the economy isn't completely tanked, that's exactly the time to mandate another bill get passed before you take a vote on the critical need in front of you. It's almost as though all his rich friends who've shorted the dollar for the past year are insisting he do everything he can to help them out.

    • Boner has a confused between selling short, shorting the seller, and shitting your shorts.

    • V572 Hair of Destiny

      I like their current fixation with "triggers" — aside from the gun-fetishist lingo, it's a way of saying, "We don't have the vote or the guts to do this, but we're willing to vote to make some future Congress do this, unless they rescind this instead, which of course they can always do. But in the meantime, I can go home and tell my constituents I voted for a BBA. Because tinkering with Mr Madison's Constitution to address some temporary problem like a budget shortage or flag burning is exactly what the founders had in mind when they wrote it.

      • AJWjr.

        Triggers, please!

      • tessiee

        Are we sure it's not a thinly veiled way of referring to that "trigger" in the White House?

    • freakishlywrong

      They double down. This one has an even better chance of passing the Senate. No labels!

    • prommie

      The provision would have no effect, none at all. Its meaningless. Congress can't limit or restrict its own authority through legislation. The whole idea of it is moronic, absurd, stupid, just numbskull stupid. Congress can amend, negate, cancel, refute or contradict any law it ever passed just by passing another law.

      • Yes, that's why they want it kicked out to the states to be voted on as a Constitutional Amendment. What is your point?

    • justkillmenow

      There was a great story on NPR (socialism!) this morning in which an academic (elitist!) posited that if we threatened to take their parking spots Congress would act more rationally.

      • GOPCrusher

        Seriously. I heard one pinhead claim that we should just not pay any Congresscritters or Senators until spending is cut, with no raise of the debt ceiling. Since the vast majority of them are in the "job creator" class of wealth already, this idea has EPIC FAIL written all over it.

        • tessiee

          How'bout if we just don't pay Boehner?
          If for no other reason that it will make him cry, which is always good for a cheap laugh.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Dude is from fricking Montana. Do they even have colleges there? Apparently, not. Exhibit A: Denny Rehberg

    • There are many fine graduates from Moo U. Their Cattle Husbandry program is especially popular, as without it, you'd never be able to figure out how to fit a sexy heifer into a decent wedding gown.

      • PuckStopsHere

        "Sexy" being the key here as you surely don't want to get stuck with an ugly one.

  • Dürers Rhino

    Tea Baggers will not be happy until every single person who has ever received a penny of government money, except for themselves, is living in a box on the street. They won't be happy until education and health care are privileges that only the very rich can hope to access.

    Then they won't be happy because the crime rate will skyrocket, there will be riots, and the government will have to get bigger than ever, quickly and without any form of organization, to reign it in.

    • GregComlish

      PROBLEM: I HATE TAXES

      ANSWER: NO GOVERNMENT

      PROBLEM: SKYROCKETING CRIME AS SOCIETY DISINTEGRATES WITHOUT EDUCATION, POLICE, OPPORTUNITIES FOR POOR

      ANSWER: FASCIST POLICE STATE

      • Dürers Rhino

        They didn't buy that stockpile of guns and ammo for nothing…

        • genxr

          They're going to be really pissed if they start to think all that money spent on guns and ammo was wasted.

    • freakishlywrong

      When are those riots starting. I could get my riot on.

    • chicken_thief

      Except for themselves and anyone, including corporations, sucking big government tit bucks through the tax system. Billions to oil companies is not welfare!

      • Dürers Rhino

        Of course not, Silly. They are job creators and must be protected at all costs.

  • baconzgood

    I can't even think of a school in Montana….Nope not one.

    • Montana State has a good grad program in the corrosion sciences, including bugs that eat pipes and give them the dreaded tuberculation. GRAPHIC AND DISTURBING picture of tubercles destroying pipularity.

    • V572 Hair of Destiny

      U of M @ Missoula. Beautiful town, beautiful campus, one hears. Never seen it.

      • baconzgood

        U of M? Oh the high school after high school.

        • V572 Hair of Destiny

          Didn't say it was a good school. Just that the mountain-y part of Montana is very beautiful. Jeebus made it beautiful. Man did this:
          http://maps.google.com/maps?q=butte,+montana&…

          • PuckStopsHere

            Firesign Theatre:
            "It's a beaut!"
            "No, it's a mound."

      • I've actually been there, for a non-U.-affiliated music camp, held the same week as a gun show. I heard that contemptuous conservative rancher-types from other parts of the state refer to U. of M. as "The Dance School."

        • AJWjr.

          You're the first person I've ever "known" that actually went to band camp!

    • DashboardBuddha

      Didn't the dude from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance teach at a college in Montana?

      Fun, but useless fact: The National Flood Service is located in Kalispell, MN.

    • SayItWithWookies

      There's one in Bozeman — I remember this from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Also I think that's where Fleischman and Pons demonstrated their desktop fusion engine — remember that? Two scientists who don't specialize in nuclear physics (one was a chemist, in fact) came up with something they didn't understand, mislabeled it, caused a huge flap over how it was going to revolutionize our energy supply, then resisted all attempts at finding the real explanation for their chemical reactions.
      So a crazy philosopher and two people in over their heads who gave us basically a hoax — that's Montana's contributions to education.

      Edit: Apparently Fleischmann and Pons announced their findings from the University of Utah, where Pons did his research.

      • genxr

        And after recently re-reading ZATAOMM, I thought to myself: God, was I really that pompous as a teenager? 'Cause I thought it was all wisdom, turns out it was a lot of self-congratulatory crap with a few helpful tips here and there, like how to not get totally pissed off when trying to rebuild a carburetor.

        • SayItWithWookies

          I found it kinda hard to get through but worthwhile the first time I read it — the second time I picked it up though, the long, rambling digressions, the overdone sense of alienation and the vaguely superior attitude were the only damn things I noticed.

          • genxr

            Vaguely superior, yeah. His professor was stupid, his fellow students were stupid, his psychiatrist was stupid. Even his motorcycle riding buddy was stupid. Come to think of it, now I see why I related to it as a teenager.

          • baconzgood

            You're better than me. I didn't get through it.

        • tessiee

          Ha, when I was 14 or so, I thought "stranger in a strange land" was a kickass book.
          It has not aged well in the intervening *sound of record scratching* years.

          • genxr

            I really dated myself by saying "carburetor" didn't I? We had fuel injection back then, but not on any vehicle I could afford.

          • tessiee

            My modest knowledge of automotive mechanics dates back to high school physics class, right around the same time I read stranger in a strange land (although I must say that's a pretty cool physics class), so I barely remember what fuel injection is — fuel going directly to the pistons instead of the carburetor, maybe?

            Come to think of it, nobody's heard a vinyl record scratch in 20 years or so, either, but that sound effect is shorthand for "Whaaaat?".

          • baconzgood

            I still listen to vinal…That's because all the wierd Jazz and Blues and Indie 7" (shit that dates me) I have will never make it on CD. Aparently Sony only makes music that "is profitable" to sell.

  • Blendergoathead

    Dude! Teabaggers are SO STUPID sometimes… why on earth would a welfare queen want or need a college education when the gubmint already keeps them in cadillacs and furs from cradle to grave?

    Get a grip, 'baggers!

  • Doktor Zoom

    Since this is a thread about the debt ceiling, I think I need to repost The Chart That Should Accompany All Discussions of the Debt Ceiling.

    Seriously, why is this thing not front and center in every discussion? I'm tempted to walk it down to my right-wing congressman's office…

    • V572 Hair of Destiny

      It doesn't matter how we got here! We just have to fix it now! And the way we have to fix it is to get those Olds and Poors off the Medicare and Medicaid rolls. Otherwise there won't be enough money left for wars. Who'd want that?

    • freakishlywrong

      That's too truthy, to data-y, the cablez would lose it's "both sides" narrative.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Those facts are lying! Also, by Republican math, tax cuts don't add to the deficit. I still haven't figured that one out.

    • proudgrampa

      Thanks, Dok. That's a good chart.

      Problem is, due to the fact that students will no longer be able to afford to go to school, we will have no one left to interpret such charts.

  • freakishlywrong

    Ugh. Make more ignorant teatards. And yet, our radical, leftwing POTUS still believes there can be a "bipartisan" solution to this wholly manufactured by the Republics "crisis".

    • tessiee

      "And yet, our radical, leftwing POTUS still believes there can be a "bipartisan" solution to this wholly manufactured by the Republics "crisis". "

      Dimwit Bush pisses away a surplus and leaves office with a record deficit. Obama gets stuck with the bill. See how bipartisan?

  • “Yeah, getting smarter is stupid” *

    *Some guy with a misspelled sign in a 3 cornered hat.

  • "One Koch Ring to Rule Them All…"
    – Tea Party Hobbits (not that there is a different kind)

  • baconzgood

    All Childs left behind.

  • BlueMonkeh

    Fuckers.

  • smashaduck

    Today we are all under-employed and too broke to afford college. Oh wait, that's not how this game's supposed to work is it?

  • FidoMcCokefiend

    Seriously. Instead of trotting out yet another teatard, can we just show the movie "Ass" from Idiocracy? What's the fucking point anymore? These people trot out Jesus every 4.3 seconds, yet, in the 4.2 seconds in between JESUS!!!, they are railing on the needy, poor, people wanting to help themselves as the scourge of the earth while protecting "job creators". Did any of these fucking cocksuckers even read the bible, or is there a new teatard version I didn't have access to growing up?

    I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

    • genxr

      That's the inspirational film Mark Foley would have wanted, instead of the Ben Affleck gangster flick.

    • PubOption

      Andrew Schlafly – the originator of Conservapedia, and spawn of Phyllis – was working on a version of the bible with all the liberal 'mistranslations' removed.
      At first I thought this was satire, but now I hear the rantings of teabaggers…

      • Cursed are the poor in spirit: for I got mine, so fuck off.
        Cursed are they that mourn: for they should man up.
        Cursed are the meek: for they have no Gunz.
        Cursed are they who hunger and thirst after righteousness: for this ain't no soshalist democracy.
        Cursed the merciful: for they are just a bunch of libunatic Hippies.
        Cursed are the pure in heart: for they don't watch enough pr0n.
        Cursed the peacemakers: send in the Marines instead.
        Cursed are they who are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is a cell in Gitmo.

        • PubOption

          Now those are beatitudes with attitude!

    • freakishlywrong

      Only the chosen ones were given access to The Book of Cletus.

    • Idiocracy is now a documentary.

    • Actually, I don't want THEM to live on the planet anymore. Come on Rapture!

  • comrad_darkness

    So, when does the firesale of public U.S property begin? The top .01% haven't screwed enough fellow Americans over this week and it's making them antsy.

    • I, for one, am looking forward to visiting Yellowstone National Park – Brought to you by Disney

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      As soon as the wealthy have scarfed up all those foreclosed properties at fire sale prices. Can't have the poors owning shit, after all.

    • tessiee

      Don't they have a delicious baby shish-ke-bab to nibble on while they're waiting?
      Or can't they kick some puppies or something?

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Give him a Pell Grant and he eats for life…..but only because he's taking half of your fish. –Teabagger Proverb

    • genxr

      They took our cod!

  • fuflans

    i don't know, edumacation might help prevent, you know, boating accidents.
    http://wonkette.com/411495/montana-state-sen-char

  • SorosBot

    The teabaggers are worried that there still may be a slight possibility that some urban poor people might be able to work their way up into the middle or even upper classes by means other than throwing a ball around or rapping for their entertainment, and we can't have that.

    • genxr

      I'm sure teabaggers considered the possibility of having to call one of these inner city poors by a name they find offensive, like "boss"

    • BlueMonkeh

      You know what's really sad? 30 years ago when I went to college I got a Pell grant. My mom and step-father were teachers with masters degrees and part of the supposed middle class. They didn't make fuck-all so I qualified for a Pell grant. I paid for the rest with student loans that took me a decade to pay off.

      God it just makes me crazy that these ass-hats bitch about 'Merkuh falling behind the Chinois, but then they won't do a damn thing to make sure are childrenz is learning.

      Karma – please, anytime you're ready, git yer fat ass over here.

      • SorosBot

        Same here; there's no way my parents could have paid for my ridiculous college tuition without government help. And those loans are only available thanks to the government, too. The fact is, any family who can afford a private college's tuition without government help is not middle-class; they want to only allow the rich to get educated.

        • grizzlyalbert

          SorosBot, my folks kindly paid my way, but that was in a time that the state actually supported higher education. Yep, Dad shelled out $147 in 1970 bucks per semester.

      • chicken_thief

        It would be interesting to know just how many of them fuckwads had either government loans or Pell Grants in college back in the day – you know, before the Pretender in Chief took office, when such things were good for the country.

    • The fear that somewhere, somehow a black person is getting a dime from the government sure does seem to drive the Tea Party sense of priorities. Not sayin' they're racist, but…

      • GOPCrusher

        Not just the Tea Baggers but the Republiklan Establishment at large. It's the overwhelming fear that the Black Man in the White Man's House only motivation is slavery reparations.

      • tessiee

        Who can blame them?
        Whenever Those People (if you know who I mean) get ahold of any money, they spend it on MD 20/20 or crack or something that makes them even *more* black.

  • Goonemeritus

    You see it all goes back to taxes, college educated adults earn on average twice as much during their lifetime as people with just a high school degree. This would at least double their tax load. Why do you Lib’s with your fancy Pell Grants want to double our taxes?

  • Barb

    Judge Smails: "Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too."

  • KotBR

    Stupid kids and their Pell Grants. They should first learn how to make their own bootstraps in the workhouses as children, use those to pull themselves up, then use those bootstraps to pay for college.

    Of course, only Beck U accepts bootstraps as payment…

    • chicken_thief

      and gold….

  • Limeylizzie

    Oh Good Grief, I cannot even snark sufficiently, my filth and pornography comments are still available though.

    • BlueMonkeh

      LL – I've found that my repertoire of curse words does not contain anything sufficient for our times.

      • Fare la Volpe

        I've begun to use "cunting" as a verb. It's really the only word I can use to describe what the tea party is doing to our nation.

    • prommie

      Tits or GTFO

  • Isn't it time to provide the arsenic and old lace for these fuckwits? Idiocracy was not meant to be interpreted as a vision of Utopia, dammit!

  • Another multi-millionaire that inherited his wealth that's one of us.

  • If Teabaggers can't spell or make complete sentences or understand economics or any sort of knowledge or skill beyond a Kindergarten level then NO ONE CAN!!!

    • tessiee

      Also, if people aren't stupid and uninformed, who will believe their crap?

  • BklynIlluminati

    3,700??? What is that one semester geez I really hate these people where the fuck is their soul???

  • kissawookiee

    “You can go to school, collect your Pell Grants, get food stamps, low-income energy assistance, Section 8 housing, and all of a sudden we find ourselves subsidizing people that don’t have to graduate from college.”

    Rep. Rehberg does understand that Pell Grant funds are paid directly to your college, right? That it's not a check or wad of cash that's handed directly to grubby browns who decide to pose as undergrads so they can turn around and spend it on hookers and blow for four years, right up to the day before graduation, at which point they drop out without graduating and retreat to their Section 8 housing with their color TVs and air conditioning (run off of energy subsidies) and say HA HA HA SUCKERS THANKS FOR THE HOOKER AND BLOW FUNDZ? He gets that, right? Sigh. Also, too.

    • chicken_thief

      What?!!! Thanks for busting my fucking bubble. Now I'm gonna have to go with Plan B…

    • KAVE

      Snark off: I don't know how it is in other states, but in MN if you attend a state college or university and receive a Pell Grant, you have to maintain a certain GPA (granted, it's like a 2.0) and more importantly your completion ratio has to be above a certain percentage. I want to say 75% or so but it's probably higher. It's set up so that you can't abuse it and if you drop a class, you don't get that money – it goes right back to the Feds.

      • kissawookiee

        Some private schools have an even higher GPA requirement. I can't remember; does putting a Pell Grant drop into a private university tuition bucket make you even more communist, or significantly less communist but totally elitist?

  • fuflans

    also, for this weekend's congressionaly meltdown lollapalooza i vote for ramones as band of choice:

    'i wanna be sedated'
    'we're a happy family'
    'cretin hop'
    'i'm against it'
    'why is it always this way'

    and i could go on.

    • SorosBot

      It's the End of the World As We Know It, and I Feel Fine

      • tessiee

        Dead Kennedys, "Kill the Poor".

    • prommie

      If there is one thing we can learn from the Moon Volcanos, its that The Ramones rock. You left out "Carbona not Glue." Or, the song to play while attacking Rand Paul with a baseball bat, "Beat on the Brat."

    • BlueMonkeh

      Bonzo Goes To Bitburg

      In honor of St. Reagan (pbuh).

  • BlueStateLibel

    And in 1, 2, 3…we find out that Rep. Denny Rehberg (R-Mont.) owes $150,000 in student loans and hasn't made a payment since 1976..

  • Callyson

    Hey, if people want to go to college they can get a job and pay for it themselves…that is, if they can find a job without a college degree…which they can't get if they can't pay for it…
    Well, surely they can hock their bootstraps and pay for it that way…and then they'll have some money left over to eat cake!

  • Limeylizzie

    OT I am on hold at John Boehner's office, the muzak is fucking insane…all super-patriotic and Souza-ish! Wow now they are playing Inky Pinky Parlez-vous followed by God Save the Queen.

    • Tell them that you've never had to wait this long for a Boehner before!

    • prommie

      Mademoiselle from Armentiers parlez-vous . . .

      • Limeylizzie

        Bien Sur!

        • prommie

          I assume they are not playing the Sex Pistols version?

    • freakishlywrong

      Give them a hearty "fuck you arsehole!" from me too, Lizzie!

      • Limeylizzie

        If they ever answer, I have been holding for 45 minutes.

    • prommie

      Parce que je veux être l'anarchie,
      Anarchie au Royaume-Uni
      Parce que je veux être l'anarchie,
      Votre rêve futures est un système commercial
      Je donne un mauvais moment arrêter une ligne de circulation.
      C'est dans la ville

      • Limeylizzie

        The German officer crossed the Line , parlez-vous,The German officer crossed the line, parlez-vous,The German officer crossed the line, fucked the women and drank the wine,Inky-pink parlez-vous.

        • prommie

          This is why I love you.

          • Limeylizzie

            The Innkeeper had a daughter fair, parlez-vous,The Innkeeper had a daughter fair, parlez-vous,The Innkeeper had a daughter fair, with lily-white tits and long black hair,Inky pink, parlez-vous.Love me more!

        • prommie

          Do you know "The Big Fucking Wheel?"

          • Limeylizzie

            No, but I know this…I don't want to join the army, I don't want to go to war,I'd rather hang around Piccadilly underground, living off the earnings of a high-born lady,I don't want a bayonet up me arsehole, I don't want me bollocks shot away,I'd rather stay in England , in Merry, Merry EnglandAnd fornicate my fucking life away, Cor Blimey.

    • "We're sorry to keep you on hold. The Speaker of the House has just cold left the building. It's a recurring problem. You see, the only time you can see Major Major Mastodon in his office is when he's out. If he's in, you can't see him."

    • DahBoner

      "God Save the Queen"

      HELL NO YOU CAN'T SAVE THE GIANT ORANGE WEEPING QUEEN!

    • tessiee

      Not the Sex Pistols version of God Save the Queen, I trust?
      Because that really *would* be pretty cool.

  • baconzgood

    This is actually a pretty clever ploy by the tea-party. If people can't go to smart makin' school then they won't realize how stupid it is to wear pantaloons and bitch about taxing the rich too much.

    • smashaduck

      You owe me a key-board. And a red bull to replace the one I just sprayed all over it.

  • edgydrifter

    The tea party would prefer that nobody know how the fuck magnets work.

    • prommie

      Nobody knows. Who made dem stick? Just like moon volcanos, nobody knows.

      • Perhaps if we hit the Tards upside the head with Maxwell's Equations silver hammer.

      • genxr

        That pretty much disproves climate change, doesn't it?

    • tessiee

      But they *insist* that nobody know how the fuck economics works.

  • GregComlish

    “You can go to school, collect your Pell Grants, get food stamps, low-income energy assistance, Section 8 housing, and all of a sudden we find ourselves subsidizing people that don’t have to graduate from college.”

    I don't suppose it does any good to point out that college students qualify for neither Federal food assistance, nor section 8 housing, nor low-income energy assistance.

    • genxr

      It's about as much use to point out that college students are much more likely to graduate from college than their non-attending peers.

    • jus_wonderin

      Phift, facts!!

    • chicken_thief

      There you go again, tossin facts into the conversation. :-) But, nah, it wouldn't do any good. I doubt the good Congressman even knows what a Pell Grant is. And if they took that language out of the bill, he'd just toss a dart at the remainder and object to whatever section the dart pierced.

      • GOPCrusher

        Fuckers are going to be happy until America is the spitting image of Somalia, without brown people.

    • tessiee

      "I don't suppose it does any good to point out that college students qualify for neither Federal food assistance, nor section 8 housing, nor low-income energy assistance."

      No.
      No, it would not.

      College students who seek Pell grants are committing two unforgivable sins:
      1. They're trying to become more educated.
      2. They're using a tax-funded entitlement, even though they are neither corporations nor wars.

      Therefore, they are Satan and The Boogeyman all rolled into one, and can safely be blamed for anything a bagger doesn't like.

  • Doktor Zoom

    "the bizarre human-size skid mark Bradlee Dean"

    "Screeching famewhore Joe Walsh"

    "the zombie army of hillbilly barbie dolls elected by Teabaggers"

    Frothing gremlin mosh pit 'the Tea Party Caucus'"

    KBJ is exploring brilliant new frontiers of invective. Awesom-a powah!

    • tessiee

      "KBJ is exploring brilliant new frontiers of invective. Awesom-a powah! "

      He will banish baggers to the land of wind and ghosts.
      Join him or die! Can we do any less?

    • I too have been admiring her. She haz teh articuletz! probably educated on pell grants.

  • Billmatic

    Huh. That's weird. My Pell Grants only covered my tuition and I'm still paying back my "college welfare."

    These people are going to destroy the country, I don't think there's any doubt at this point. It would be hilariously ironic that the people who set out to "take the country back" and save it from the muslins, libruls and blax, and return it to its exceptional stature are the very people that are going to plunge it into ruin. Oh it would be so hilarious if I was living in Amsterdam or something, but instead I'm in Texas and it's just fucking depressing.

    • metamarcisf

      What time do the liquor stores open?

      • genxr

        I attended UNLV where they never close.

    • freakishlywrong

      Billmatic, watch out fer your cornhole.

  • Federal money for college is ridiculous–those kids could be in the military learning useful skills like killing Muslims and stuff.

  • prommie

    But these new moon volcanoes just prove that if you give people Pell grants, my taxes are slavery.

  • user-of-owls

    nation of illiterate, starving, homeless pregnant people freezing to death

    "Or as we like to call it, 'our base.'"

    • genxr

      Any WMD under this pile of dead frozen hobos? Nope, not there! Ha ha ha.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Their base is very base, indeed.

      • user-of-owls

        Abasement isn't the lowest part of your house.

  • WhatTheHeck

    God gave us this recession, this housing crisis, this debt crisis, so we could eliminate as many of the undesirables amongst us as possible. Thank you Lord.

    – The Tea People

  • OneDollarJuana

    Is it just me, or is there a trend toward less snark here and more cries of frustration, a la #fuckyouwashington?

    • Doktor Zoom

      All I'm trying to say is, and I hope I speak for everyone in this room, is that I am scared. I'm barely holding my fudge right now.

    • SayItWithWookies

      I don't see why anybody would be frustrated — I mean, it's raining hot rivets and the big thinkers over at the Tea Party put out the brilliant suggestion that our umbrella is too big and we need to shred it. Then when someone says "maybe that's not the safest thing to do," they repeat their statement only louder. That's pretty much classical Socratic dialog, isn't it?

  • Honestly, if it doesn't involve longer lasting scooter batteries or killing mooslims, I say vote it down.

  • poncho_pilot

    so…

    –eliminate all federal assistance including education, healthcare, housing, elderly assistance, etc.

    –privatize all functions previously handled by the government.

    –create further disinterest among citizenry concerning the political process by turning it into a circus and by making it difficult to vote.

    –(optional) establish a religious government.

    –create an uneducated citizenry with low life expectancy with no prospects for actual careers as a supply of workers/soldiers.

    –bonus points if you committed to optional step 3 and the citizenry are too scared of imaginary beings/hell to question your "authority".

    …just saying…

    p.s. no birth control, either! moar white babbys!

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      I think you just nailed an ideology.

      Fuck me. 10am and I'm going to open a beer. I hate these people so, so much.

    • Rosie_Scenario

      . . . provided we teabaggers can still get their free Hoverounds and gubmint money.

  • spinozasgod

    a few comments from The Hill article:

    It's about time for the fat and lazy liberals to quit collecting a free ride on the backs of hard working Americans. If you liberals can't get a scholarship, then you are too stupid to go to college anyways and should go buy a shovel so you can dig ditches when Obozo gets you a "shovel ready" job!
    BY libs are too lazy on 07/28/2011 at 18:53

    This is so true. America is turning more and more into a nation of "takers", of "slackards". What ever happened to the work ethic of so many of our young Americans? Personally, I worked my way through college at times working two jobs at a time, had to take a semester off to join the army reserves, and sold my car to make ends meet. As JFK once said, "ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can to for your country" !
    BY A on 07/28/2011 at 18:48

    • poncho_pilot

      what i get out of this is that the second commenter was too stupid to get a scholarship. is that correct?

    • user-of-owls

      "ask what you can do for your country"

      So, in other words, allow the state to define what you should do. Surely this is consistent with the poster's ideology, right?

      Impeccable logic there "A."

      • genxr

        "Ask what you can do for your country"

        "Well, I could pay a bit more taxes to help balance the budget."

        "SHUT UP!"

    • Yeah, and that pinko JFK created the Peace Corps, so… huh?

      I wonder if these fuckers have gone to college recently. Even most state colleges and universities are beyond the reach of most families to afford without student loans and grants. And since a BA is today's high school degree, you need a graduate degree to really "succeed", and forget being able to pay for that out of pocket.

      "Fuck you, I got mine!" – Tea Party motto

    • Gleem_McShineys

      The ironic unspoken bit in the first poster's comment: he seems to think that this is only going to hurt liberals. Because, you see, looking around in his own life, only liberals and elitists go to college. Not hard working Americans like himself.

      I am guessing this hard working American's profession didn't require a whole lot of higher education to get started doing in the first place. Also, I am guessing this hard working American doesn't contribute all that much to the bottom line of tax revenue in this nation, and any "tax increases on the rich" would happen more than a few brackets up from him.

      I could be wrong, but I know I'm not.

      The disinformation factory turns out wicked bitter shits like this. Just smart enough to know that it IS in fact somebody else's fault they aren't prospering, but just stupid enough to get mesmerized by their teevee box when it points as the poorz as the reason. Just smart enough that "Step 3: PROFIT" could potentially, theoretically, happen to them, but just wicked enough to think that they need to sabotage others to ensure their reward.

      Fortunately for the Kochsters, hard working Americans like him have completely forgotten that old adage about "divided we fall."

      Enjoy tearing your neighbor's throat out over the last stale Slim Jim, dumbfuck.

    • tessiee

      Translation: When I said I wanted to go to college, my father called me a commie faggot and beat the shit out of me. My other relatives said that the salt mines were good enough for them, and I was a stuck-up spoiled brat who thought I was better than them. Now I'm stuck in a job I hate that doesn't pay me enough to live on, and my wife, who I also hate, has to have a job that she hates so that we can support our five kids under the age of ten, who both of us hate. The idea that anyone might have a better life than me fills me with bile and seething resentment."

  • ArmoredLibunatic

    College life is the closest some of us will get to being homeless, anyway.

  • Jerri

    Dear Tea Party:

    Fuck. You. Forever.

    Signed,
    Someone who will be paying off student loans until at least 2025, even with those college welfare dollars I received

  • likethehours

    I will bet $1000 that Denny Rehberg attended a college that funded its operations, in part, with taxes taken from immigrants, women, single mothers, and other undesirables who were unable to afford an education at that same school.

  • prommie

    Rehberg's logic reminds me of the things Ralph Wiggums says. Like that one time, when the baby looked at him.

    • BlueMonkeh
    • Rosie_Scenario

      "My cat smells like cat food."

    • genxr

      Bovine University, full scholarship.

    • tessiee

      I'm going to live with underground Grandma.

  • fuflans

    generally, i'm not a big fan of 'the economist's' editorial cartoons, but this week is pretty accurate.
    http://www.economist.com/node/21524951

    • user-of-owls

      Quite so!

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      A certain country needs an intervention, gnomesane?

  • prommie

    "The new welfare," of course, now every social program of any kind is being called "welfare," and again, they are telegraphing their real problem with social programs, and their real problem with taxes, too. Their real problem, their underlying motivation for being so anti-government, anti-social program, anti-welfare, is , well, its niggers.

    • poncho_pilot

      the thing that's funny to me (not haha funny) about this is i don't think their corporate overlords give a fuck about brown/black people: we're all potential worker drones.
      but if you can whip up one half of a group into hating the other they might not pay attention to who's behind it all. which is some idea a Commie espoused so it's not valid even if it's true.

      • prommie

        You sound like one of those radicals who reads Fox-Piven.

        • poncho_pilot

          i have been meaning to. i think she'd find a fan in me.

      • emmelemm

        see also:

        American Slavery, American Freedom by Edmund Morgan

        Manufacturing Consent: Changes in the Labor Process Under Monopoly Capitalism by Michael Burawoy
        (not to be confused with Noam Chomsky's Manufacturing Consent)

        Both about how the ruling class creates artificial distinctions and conflicts within the lower class so that they focus on fighting each other and not on the actual source of their problems: the ruling class.

    • user-of-owls

      In all seriousness, the real underlying desire of the extreme right that has inexplicably become validated in this current gas chamber political climate, the real yet never acknowledged core preference of this horde is for some form of social cleansing.

      Whether by policy or force, their mandate is the extirpation of their defined classes of 'undesirables.' The poor, the gays, the non-believers, the immigrants, the progressives and most venomously, as you note, all non-whites. In other words, if you don't belong in a Norman Rockwell painting, you're not welcome amongst the Real Americans.

      There is a term in Spanish used to describe these 'parasitic' or 'cancerous' classes that captures the raw brutality of this mindset: desechables

      It means 'disposable.'

      • mumbly_joe

        That certainly explains why the selfsame extreme right has started comparing Anders Breviek to John Brown. No, really.

        • user-of-owls

          Stop that! It's too early to start drinking here!! Maybe.

          **rationalize, rationalize**

    • spinozasgod

      from a commnet in The Hill:
      PELL GRANTS…G R A N T S…ARE FREE. NOT PAID BACK. A GIFT TO THE BLACK OR LATINO STUDENT WHO RECEIVES THEM FREE. THEY ARE NOT A LOAN. THERE IS NO REQUIREMENT TO GRADUATE. YES..FOR LOANS..WHICH WHITE AND ASIAN KIDS CAN GET..YOUR BACKGROUND AND YOUR PARENTS CREDIT RATING BACK TO BIRTH…BUT G R A N T S ARE A GIFT TO LATINO AND BLACK STUDENTS..who usually vote Democratic. That is about what this is..repartions. Spread the weath..THE MERIT SYSTEM IS RACIST. MERIT IS RACIST. HIGH SCORING KIDS WHO ARE WHITE AND OR ASIAN..DO NOT DESERVE FREE PELL GRANTS.
      BY PAT on 07/29/2011 at 10:38

      and it goes on and on…..

      • Who'd expect that an ALL CAPS rant would be overtly racist?

      • Oh lord help us all. Student loans are handed out like candy to absolutely anyone who asks for one. Sallie Mae and their ilk make a friggin fortune off people trapped in debt for decades and ultimately paying far more in interest and fees than they ever borrowed, all the while donating heavily to republican campaigns. But obama is taking away teh freedumz! These people have trucknutz for brains.

    • Driven by the fear that someone with darker skin than them is somehow doing better.

      • tessiee

        Yeah, everyone knows that the poors and the browns get preferential treatment, and white Christians are marginalized and persecuted.

  • Ruhe

    There it is, the bizarre conceit that underlies all Teatard thinking: poor people like being poor. Poor people like "workin' the system" to live the easy "welfare queen life". Automatic and deep distrust of humans you don't actually know seems to be a bent of thought that resides in the oldest, most reptilian part of our brains.

    • Gleem_McShineys

      There is an argument to be made that the reason they have such inherent distrust is that, well, cheating, laziness and, opportunism is how they live their own lives, at some level or other. It is what they know.

      Therefore, every poor person (with less morals, obviously — come on, they're poor!) is an opportunist and they definitely must be cheating in every way possible. At some level they are saying "It's what I'd do."

    • tessiee

      Saint Raygun flogged that meme shamelessly (and/or was so dumb and out of touch with reality that he actually believed it).

  • Laughitoff22

    Thank god we can finally keep the poors from marching around our quads, thinking they were good enough in their hand me downs to get an education at a real university. Honestly, if they're not dressed in Brooks Brothers, J.Crew, or Ann Taylor, I don't see how they can go out in public. Oh well. Back to community colleges/GED programs where they belong!

    • Rosie_Scenario

      Even community colleges charge tuition. And one needs books, etc.e tc.

  • smitallica

    Yes, that's the problem with employment. Our people are TOO educated.

  • prommie

    "a nation of illiterate, starving, homeless pregnant people freezing to death." Take out the "freezing to death," and thats Florida.

  • Actually the best welfare gig on earth is joining the US Congress.

  • hollywooddood

    I've seen those socialist college kids driving to college in Cadillacs. Just look at the paking lots.

    • tessiee

      I heard they cash their tuition loan checks and go out and spend the money on booze and hotpants.

  • jus_wonderin

    I am beginning to feel like that frog in the stovepot. Except that I have sense that big fucking fuck is going one.

  • Ruhe

    This debate, if rationality in the face of idiocy can be called a debate, is as old as Socrates. As he tried to explain to his fellow Athenians, the education of every youth is your responsibility, and not because that's just the nice way to be and to get on God's good side, but because if you don't treat their education like it is your responsibility then you will have to deal with the very real consequences. Pay for it now, pay for it later. Educate them now, imprison them later. Which is the better deal.
    Oh, and by the way, wasn't God's response to Cain a resounding "yes, in fact, you are your brother's keeper."

    • FNMA

      The sad thing is, in this "debate," the idiots seem to be winning.
      They appear to be immune to reason and rational thought.
      Fuck.
      Now, I'm depressed…

      • GOPCrusher

        How's that line go?
        It does no good to argue with an idiot. They can only drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

        • JerkCade

          I'd always heard "don't wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig enjoys it."

    • KAVE

      Except eventually they'll manipulate things so that there is no such thing as imprisonment. Only capital punishment.

  • prommie

    Hey, isn't there some point at which we ought to, oh, pick up our pitchforks and torches and go visit the tards? Isn't it getting close?

  • Ducksworthy

    And aren't college "students" sometimes exposed to "science" and historical "facts". This sometimes ruins college students as future teabaggers, for life.

  • PuckStopsHere

    Hey, you are not being fair to 'baggers. You can't get stupid by going to college. Everybody knows that111

  • DahBoner

    "Bates College in Maine, tuition = $51,300/year"

    Bates College: We laugh at your $1000 Pell grants!

    • tessiee

      Now go away, or we shall taunt you a second time!

  • genxr

    For future reference: If you want teabaggers to support education, do NOT show them that picture of Al Franken.

  • mumbly_joe

    Someone remind me: these are the same people who compare the US government's budget to that of a family and say that we're all gonna die when the national debt hits 100% of GDP, because nobody in the history of ever has accrued debt in excess of their annual earning potential, right?

    Apropos of nothing, of course.

  • hilbillyheroine

    Yep, I have two daughters who have taken that socialist government handout. One is a trauma nurse, working on her masters (she works in an area of critical need), and the other is a mechanical/aerospace engineering student, working full time as an engineering co-op for the Army (learning how to make rockets and missiles). Both raised in a single parent household. We should do away with all spending, unless it is directed entirely towards the Cock Brothers.

  • Well, this is the shit sandwich that the Dems and progressives get for sitting on the sidelines last November, tearfully caressing their Obama bobblehead dolls instead of fucking getting out there to VOTE. Instead, we now have the 21st century version of the Know-Nothing Party in control of the House and god knows how many governorships and state legislatures. The only solace is that the Baggers are so out of control that even "Agent Orange" Boner can't stop them.

    • JerkCade

      If only Obama had tried to compromise more, or do something bipartisan. Then those independent voters would have voted dem!

  • Nostrildamus

    Pell grant recipients should just drop out of their country clubs to make up the difference.

    • AJWjr.

      Brilliant!

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    “You can go to school, collect your Pell Grants, get food stamps, low-income energy assistance, Section 8 housing, and all of a sudden we find ourselves subsidizing people that don’t have to graduate from college.”

    Damn! After college I didn't have to get a soul-sucking job in a cubicle that forces me into constant bouts of depression and expensive prescriptions for happy pills? I could've just been unemployed and stayed home watching Netflix?!?

    Why didn't someone tell me before?!?

    • emmelemm

      I know, right? I've clearly gone about my life all wrong.

  • NYNYNYjr

    OK- here's a compromise bill. We shut down the government for a week, loan the Republican house members and their aides military guns, they go out into the DC ghetto, shake-down the homeless for their change, break into health clinics, housing projects, rob everyone, basically get back as much of this welfare money as they can, then they come back to the Capitol as conquering heroes, they vote to raise the debt ceiling a years worth and taxes are lowered for everyone by the amount of money they collected. Next year, they can hit another city if they vote to raise it again.

    • genxr

      Visigoths/Mongols 2012!

    • tessiee

      I don't know how much money they could raise with this, but the break into the health clinic part would probably stop a few whores from aborting their precious snowflake babbys.

  • Keeping kids ignorant is what Tea Partiers call Building The Base.

  • mavenmaven

    The tea party isn't stupid. The more edumacated kids get, the less likely they are to support the tea party.

    • tessiee

      Back when I lived in the south, I saw a political cartoon which was just words written in a circle:
      "This state is full of bible thumpers who think gambling is a sin, so we don't have a state lottery, so the schools are underfunded, so the population is ignorant, so this state is full ov bible thumpers…"
      etc.

  • Gomez571

    I was in our Old Capitol Museum looking at the hand written suggestions for amendments to the MS Constitution.

    My favorite, "Stop taking so much out of (f was backwards) taxes!.!.!"

  • dinkybossetti

    “So you can go to college on Pell Grants"

    Ha ha ha! That is the funniest thing I've heard all day!

  • Beowoof

    Most teabaggers will tell you knowing shit is bad for you. And if you know too much you will probably vote Democratic.

  • Capt_Badass

    Keep their damn gubbmint hands off my Pell Grants!

  • Winnie_Cooper

    Or you could give me my Pell grant, so that I can go to a top-25 university, graduate in four years, go to a top 10 law school, spend my summers doing unpaid government work, take a relatively low-paying job relative to the prestige of my degree in law enforcement where I work a bazillion hours per week to keep up with the massive influx of people killing other people with guns that you won't let us regulate, all despite my absolute shit-ton of debt that I accumulated because Pell grants are an absolute drop in the bucket of the cost of my education… Oh, and on my weekends, I spend my time at church and volunteering in a damn homeless shelter, you asshole. What have you done for your community lately?

    Oh, wait, but we're all goddamn welfare queens.

    If I weren't pregnant, I would be reaching for the Xanax.

  • HollidayB

    The Pell Grant amount is nothing compared to huge amounts of $$ paid in say imprisonment of people who weren't able to access higher education and act out of anger, need, frustration, desperation and all else that goes with low expectations from life. What a horrible cycle of pain. They ought to crunch those numbers.

  • ttommyunger

    "The Country needs ditch-diggers, too!" Caddyshack.

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