science is a funny thing

Bill Nye Explains To Fox News Moon Volcanoes Don’t Cause Global Warming

Bill Nye the Science Guy! We remember him. “Bill Nye the Science Guy” was a 90s television program on PBS Kids that taught science in fun and accessible ways to children. Explaining science to children, you might say, is Bill Nye’s great gift. Here is Bill Nye talking to Fox News anchor Jon Scott about the exciting recent discovery of volcanoes on the Moon and its implications for life’s origins. Scott isn’t terribly interested in this, but he does want to know if these volcano things caused the climate change on the moon. It’s not like humans even burned any fossil fuels on the moon, and look how the moon turned out!

Bill Nye sort of stares at him for a second, because for a scientist this irrational tangent is probably a little hard to follow. Sorry, Bill, we should have reminded you to review a dictionary of idiot speak before you went on the show. The word “science” sounds like “global warming conspiracy” in a Fox News brain. Nye patiently explains to Jon Scott that volcanoes have nothing to do with global warming, mining does, and science shows that global warming will make Earth into a hellfire lava pool that kills off every living thing, more like Venus. That’s what “science” says. Blank stare. What do hippie leftist environazis have to do with Venus? Okay, well thanks. That’s the last time Fox News tries to invite an actual children’s science teacher on the program. [Media Matters]

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  • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

    This only means one thing: Defund PBS!

    • prommie

      Even better, do what Greasy, Gasping Fat Fuck Christie did with NJ's PBS station, and privatize it.

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    Hey Jon, in space they can't hear you scream all your racist, homophobic, anti-muslin rants…

    • Swampgas_Man

      And that's why nobody wants to go to space anymore.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Can't hear Faux News in space? Where do I sign up?

  • prommie

    Who put dat dere, huh? Who put dat dere? Nobody knows.

    • SheriffRoscoe

      Bill O'Reilly actually said that to Richard Dawkins, making the task of me ridiculing him embarrassingly easy.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Didja notice how Jon actually let Bill Nye finish multiple sentences in a row without shouting him down?

        Fox News Anchor FAIL, Jon.

        • Ruhe

          Perhaps The Science Guy had warned him before the segment started, "Hey, Jon, now that physical contact is okay here at Fox, I should warn you that I'm a fifth degree blackbelt and if you interrupt me or cut me off I'm gonna put my left foot right here" (pointing to the anchor's adam's apple).

          • mumbly_joe

            In that guy's defense, Hugh Hewitt is a complete sack of shit. If any douchebag deserves to have the smug slapped out of them, it's… actually a three-way tie between him, Grover Norquist, and Andy Breitbart.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          The dweeb was probably still challenged by the task of processing sentence 1 when sentence 2 came out… and it snowballed on him.
          My 5-year-old daughter, on the other hand (now studying neuroscience), had no problem with Nye, and loved his show. Bit of a liberal, too — I blame the Pell grants.

    • Not_So_Much

      Goes in, goes out — no explanation…

  • Arken

    Tide comes in, tide goes out. You can't explain it!

    • jakegittes

      Bread goes in. Toast pops up. You can't explain dat.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Mmmm, but its yummy with butter, cinnamon and sugar.

    • ArmoredLibunatic

      Sure I can, and I'm just a hack who grew up with Beakman (take that, Billy boy!). So do you want the long or short answer?

  • Laughitoff22

    I don't think I've ever loved Bill Nye more. He sufficiently and calmly explained why this news anchor, as well as (most likely) the majority of fox news viewers are idiots, as though he was a petulant child.

    I think I'm in love.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Made him all sexy didn't it?

    • bagofmice

      Then you need to put on your tights and get ready to chase after SPEED WALKER.

    • freakishlywrong

      Fox has "news anchors"?

      • DashboardBuddha

        I think in this case it's more like anchors that are dragging down the SS Critical Thought.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Despite the fact that he apparently has had oodles of Botox, his calm demeanor makes me want to pleasure him.

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      "Think you're in love".

      If you're hot for Bill Nye, that would explain the global warming that isn't happening. [long pause] On the moon. [longer pause] Using science.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      Love how he had to break out the cupcake vs. cake analogy for the moon and earth. That's definitely about the right mentality for Jon.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    De-Nye-al is not a river in Egypt, Jon.

  • iburl

    Why did they have Bill Nye on, why not a real scientist? I heard there was a professor at Liberty University who has calculated how many dinosaurs were on Noah's ark.

    • nonbeliever7

      All of them!

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        ,Katie.

    • CessnaDriver

      The lastest talking point is that the dinos were brought onboard as eggs, because of the whole they would have eaten Noah and every other living thing thing.

      Nice to know that someone was thinking when they watched Jurassic Park.

      The mock up of the Ark at some chirstian playground will have racks of dino eggs.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Science has no place on Faux News. Science deals with the systematic arrangement of facts.

    • Fare la Volpe

      And if Fox presented "facts" all the time, they couldn't provide fair and balanced coverage!

      • Ducksworthy

        Exactly. The facts are not fair and balanced despite what the MSM would try to have you think. They pretty much all line up on the side of reality.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Equal time for facts and fantasy … you can't get more balanced than that!

  • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

    "Volcanos: how the fuck do they work?"
    -Jon Scott

    (Is he related to Rick?)

    • MildMidwesterner

      Volcanos are caused by a combination of vinegar and baking soda.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        Where did you go to school?! Volcanoes are caused by Coke and Mentos!

        • horsedreamer_1

          You've just created a Mentocularity!

    • DaRooster

      "(Is he related to Rick?)"

      I think they use the same hair.

    • Guppy06

      More importantly, Bobby Jindal wants to know why we're monitoring them.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    I can't wait for their next discussion.

    "If Gravity isn't in the US America Constitution then why is it a LAW? Can you answer me that Mr Science Guy?"

    • FNMA

      Gravity is merely a theory, like evolution.

      • ChessieNefercat

        Well how come thermodynamics gets to be a law, huh? It's not in the Constutueshun either!

      • riverside68

        Gravity doesn't exist don't ya know?

        (warped space keeps everything down)

        • FNMA

          Gravity was intelligently designed by God to be the mechanism to let you know that you've had too much tequila.

          • nonbeliever7

            If God invented tequila, I may have to re-think this whole non-belief thing I got going on.

        • LesPaultard

          Same theory as light bulbs…they don't create light, they suck away the dark.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

            "Light Bulbs: Suck Away The Dark" is the worst Broadway musical of all time.

        • proudgrampa

          There is no gravity. The Earth sucks!

      • DaRooster

        Relativity is only a theory too… that is why Faux stays away from anything relative…

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    Bill Nye the Speed Walking Crime Fighter from KING5's Almost Live solves another case for Truth.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Nye: "Science is true".
    Fox News guy: Furrows brow, wonders what to say next.

    • Terry

      Fox News guys all ways get like that when something comes up that's not on the talking points they get from the Koch Brothers and the RNC.

      • Rotundo_

        They have these "Westworld" moments like seizures and lock up and don't seem to know what to say or do. It's amusing in small bite sized chunks like this, but not worth watching Faux News for any amount of time.

    • poncho_pilot

      Fox News guy: Furrows brow, wonders what to say next. Beats chest. Grunts. Attacks Bill Nye with antelope femur.

      Me: Run, Bill! Run!

    • zhubajie

      The usual reply (outside of FOX News) is, "But the BIBLE says…!"

      • Fare la Volpe

        The usual FOX reply is "But some people say," which makes them balanced, also.

        • GunToting[Redacted]

          What their target audience fails to appreciate is that "some people" are really fucking stupid. Coincidentally, "some people" is their key target demographic.

        • Naked_Bunny

          Actually, that's pretty much any network, and newspaper, and magazine, these days.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    That’s the same look I give a 3 year old that has had too much sugar.

  • DaSandman

    I will do science to them.

    It won't help.

    • bagofmice

      Will you exit light? Possibly enter night?

  • comptoneffect

    Another example of a Fox News anchor not missing an opportunity to spout a right-wing talking point. Say what you will about the Fox corporate training program but it’s remarkably efficient.

    • FNMA

      They gotten much better with the ice pick to the frontal lobe since that mishap with the Fox & Friends crew.

    • Ruhe

      Really. Like do they have members of their production staff who specialize in finding the opportunities to place that shit in various stories and interviews, you know like the ones who work on the Spielberg movies placing product. Or is the anchors? Are they just that good?

    • Rotundo_

      So is it like behavior modification where they shove a M&M in their mouths every time they spout the line? Or do Roger and Rupert use shock collars on them?

  • BlueMonkeh

    Did Nye have to give himself a "Silkwood" shower after that?

    • Barb

      Yes, he did! But he's so skinny that he had to hop around the shower to get wet.

    • zhubajie

      Exorcism!

  • http://twitter.com/raczzledaczzle boobookitteh

    Science has a well known liberal bias.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      In skew perhaps, but the collective girth of the Hoverrounds kills the platykuric (no not the Katie Couric) through an especially short and fat kurtosis. I hate those hoverrounding platykuriciders

      • http://twitter.com/raczzledaczzle boobookitteh

        You're going to need to re-explain that using baked goods as an example.

      • Fukui_sanYesOta

        Oh so many upfists for platykuric and kurtosis.

        Now that's a word I've not heard since ….

  • LesBontemps

    Fox News brain

    Ha, if only!

    • poncho_pilot

      lizard brain. that's about it.

  • hollywooddood

    Even children, armed with comic books and calculators, could teach Jon Scott a few things.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Infants, armed with boogers and spit-up, could teach Jon Scott a few things.

      I am relatively confident that my Pekingese could teach Jon Scott a few things.

      • poncho_pilot

        i know cats who could finally teach him how door knobs work.

    • Geminisunmars

      Umm. . . someone has to want to learn in order to learn. That ship has sailed, if it was ever in the harbor to begin with.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Global warming isn't in the Constitution!

    *bang*

    Next, Bill Nye will explain how come people living in New Zealand (aka upsidedownieland) don't fall off the world.
    ~

    • ChessieNefercat

      "Next, Bill Nye will explain how come people living in New Zealand (aka upsidedownieland) don't fall off the world."

      I think it's like dinosaur fossils, God's idea of a kneeslapper of a joke that makes people uh…um, be more impressed with God? Yeah, um, Bible! Bible! Bible!

      (The joke is that New Zealand doesn't really exist because the earth is flat!)

  • tcaalaw

    Holy Climate Science Denial Non-Sequitur, Batman!

  • Weenus299

    It's because the moon volcanoes are conspiring to raise taxes. All that moon-lava shit is just a distraction.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Nye lost the fox news guy when he started using Venus as an example. Now if he had talked about Uranus he would have been offered his own show.

    • MildMidwesterner

      Finally… an ass fucking joke to bring Wonkette back to its roots.

    • bagofmice

      Fear of a wide stance planet.

      Because apparently the taint of the solar system stretches from Venus to Uranus, and has a Great Red Spot in the middle.

      • Geminisunmars

        Isn't that Mons Veneris?

  • JerkCade

    "Science is true for everybody" is my new favorite quote.

    • Tundra Grifter

      JC: Bill Nye could have expanded that to "truth is the same for everybody. That's pretty much what makes it 'truth.'"

      But then Jon Scott's head would have exploded.

      • Ruhe

        No, no. He would have laughed at him like the villain from a Bond film and then paraphrased Charles Foster Kane…"The truth is what we say it is Mr. Nye."

        • prommie

          We create our own reality, and people like you write it down.

          • SorosBot

            Well of course; we've always been at war with Eastasia.

        • tessiee

          ^
          ^
          This?
          *kisses bunched-together fingertips*
          Beautiful.

    • arihaya

      that will only be my 2nd favorite quote after "Nothing is true, everything is permitted"

      • tessiee

        "Whatever is not forbidden is mandatory" — T.H. White, The once and future king

      • Mapmonger

        "Nothing means anything, everything's permitted. Nothing is forbidden, so anything goes" ~ nomeansno

    • Fare la Volpe

      "The good thing about science is that it's true whether you believe in it or not." -Neil deGrasse Tyson

    • Geminisunmars

      Nah unh.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    There's more to the story. When they signed off, even peace-loving Nye was forced to violently refudiate bunghole Scott when he boasted about suspending that polar bear scientists ass in Alaska for fudging their drowning numbers.

    • AJWjr.

      But did he 'splain why on earth there are no bears on the poles of the moon? Lunar polar bears–never thought of that, didja?

      • LesBontemps

        Lunar polar bears with frickin' lasers on their heads! Now that's science!

        • NorthStarSpanx

          There is no water on the moon; hence they can't drown. I see it now.

        • riverside68

          It's a Ayers Kenyan plot!

          Damn we got a lunar polar bear laser gap!

      • ChessieNefercat

        Aren't those the creepy bears in those coke ads? Yes. Lunar polar bears.

      • poncho_pilot

        Teddy Roosevelt bagged a Lunar Polar Bear in 1894. he later tried and failed to establish a Nature Reserve in Mare Tranquillitatis.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Sen. John McCain has the same look on his face when he patiently explains to Sheer InSannity (again) that the US Government doesn't have enough revenue to pay its bills unless the debt limit is increased. Or how the US Senate operates.

    Say what you will about Ole Walnuts (and we do) – when he is dealing with a child he takes his time and does his best to calmly explain it in terms anyone can understand.

    Well, almost anyone. "Am i An Idiot?" InSannity never seems to be able to grasp it.

    • OneDollarJuana

      You may paint Sean with the moniker "InSannity", but clearly the insane one is John McCain, who keeps trying to explain to his Republican party members the facts of reality, when clearly it doesn't, and will never, work.

    • arihaya

      it is disheartening to know than Juan McCain is the sane voice in the GOP

  • VaWyo

    Be careful, Bill. Fox news is probably trying to hack into your phone right now.

  • Weenus299

    Bill Nye the Science Guy is about to become Bill Nye the Hacked Phone Guy.

    • horsedreamer_1

      His penchant for Olympia, Wash., trannies will be revealed to all, forever discrediting his life's work.

      • Fare la Volpe

        He just likes to experiment.

  • HobbesEvilTwin

    Sadly, any three year old watching that exchange took away more from it than Jon Scott.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Any three year old watching that exchange was desperately trying to insert an Elmo DVD in the player.

  • Ducksworthy

    Look here Bill Nye, if Jon Scott wants to believe that global warming is caused by moon volcanoes he'll believe that global warming is caused by moon volcanoes and all your sciencey talk will go in one ear and out the other because there's noting in his head to even slow it down.

    • poncho_pilot

      and just try explaining the almost complete lack of friction in a vacuum. just try.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Bill Nye had Yo Yo Ma play at his wedding. Faux Newsies get MaMa YoYo (insert Bachmann joke here).

    • LettucePrey

      Unfortunately, Bill Nye also had Rick Warren officiate his wedding. The marriage was annuled four months later after it was discovered that Fat Rick didn't have the proper license to marry people. True story.

  • Pragmatist2

    The Moon is all dry and baked because they did not use air conditioning.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I thought it was the lack of a free market.

  • arihaya

    That 70s suit and painted bow-tie should be a capital offense !!!!

    • Gunner Asch

      It's his trademark image thingie. He dressed just like that when he was on Almost Live.

  • widestanceroman

    Q: Where was noted anti-volcanologist, Bobby Jindal for this discussion?
    A: Bringing another bucket of sand to rebuild the dang berm.

    • SorosBot

      Jindahl doesn't think people should study Vulcans? But they are the most logical and peaceful of races.

      Oh wait, Republicans are opposed to logic and peace.

      • widestanceroman

        Vulcans look kind of muslin-y to them.

    • V572 Hair of Destiny

      They did stop building that silly-ass thing after Barry plugged the leak, didn't they? Please?

  • OneDollarJuana

    I watched the whole clip and it's apparent that Jon Scott never really caught on to what Nye was explaining. He's still trying to figure it out, I'm sure.

    • Geminisunmars

      Doubtful that he is trying to figure it out. Or ever wanted to try.

      • Tundra Grifter

        Sadly, you are quite correct. Just as soon as Jon Scott figured out Bil Nye was linking science with facts with global climate change, he cut off the discussion.

  • SorosBot

    Bill did a good job; you'd think he might have trouble, since explaining science to 5-year-olds is on a much higher intellectual level than explaining it to Fox hosts.

    • mumbly_joe

      Literally. I remember his show pretty well, and I'm pretty sure he explains several of the exact concepts (i.e, the relationship between surface area and volume as you scale size up or down) on his show for elementary and middle school students, but much more rapidly and with higher-level terminology.

      Also too, compare his appearances on Maddow, where he fully expects her and her libtard audience to have some basic operating knowledge of how science works and what words and math mean.

  • cuzcorrelation


    Explaining science to children, you might say, is Bill Nye’s great gift.

    Then the Fox audience is right up his alley.

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      why do you hate children?

  • baconzgood

    He's a witch! BUUUUUUUUURRRRRRNNNNN HIM!!!!!!!!!

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Mr. Nye, how do you explain the moon cow methane issue?

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Moon cow farts are what powers the waxing and waning.

      • Ducksworthy

        Now I understand why the tides go in and out. Thank you.

  • tribbzthesquidz

    It was light. It was dark. It was light. It was dark. Can't explain it.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Jon Scott, after the interview: "Anyone know what that guy was talking about?"

  • freakishlywrong

    You gotta hand it the clowndagandists, they NEVER break character, bitches.

  • teebob2000

    Eliteist egghead and his "sie-ince" !!!1

  • LesBontemps

    Shorter Jon Scott: Science is hard!

    • Ruhe

      But what's amazing is that they always manage to pull of this wise-ass attitude that implies that the scientists and guys like Nye or even Al Gore are all either credulous dupes or conspirators.

  • widestanceroman

    Nye blinded him. . .with science.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Through the airwaves.

  • MinAgain

    Science. It is a difficult concept.

    • Geminisunmars

      But true. For me and for you. And everybody. You get some science, and you get some science, and you. . .

    • SorosBot

      It's so difficult, she blinded me with it.

  • DashboardBuddha

    BN – Smaller objects cool faster than larger objects
    JS – I'm afraid I don't understand, Bill.
    BN – Because of the ratio of size to surface area, small objects give off heat faster.
    JS – I dunno Bill – it's all pops and whistles on my end.
    BN – A cupcake cools faster than a whole cake.
    JS – Yummmm! Cake!

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Jon Scott still isn't ready for C'Addle's Almost Live where Nye is an alum.

    • poncho_pilot

      although he could be a high fivin' white guy.

      • DustBowlBlues

        I'd forgotten the high fivin' white guys. He was also a part of the Ballard School of Driving. We lived on Phinny Ridge, just up the hill from aged Scandy-ville so we could second their view of Ballard driving.

    • DustBowlBlues

      Speed Walker!!!

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Next up, the Teletubbies will explain sun spots, … except that gay one.

    • FNMA

      What do you have against gay sun spots?
      Sun-spot-ophobe!

  • Beetagger

    I would feel better if Rick Sanchez could explain the whole moon volcano thing to me.

    • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

      It's the Moon Jews.

  • Limeylizzie

    That's the look Mrlimeylizzie gives me when I do something really stupid, although he tempers it with love, so it's more "Oh God, I am married to a short, sexy moron" .

    • not that Dewey

      I wish I had Mr. Limeylizzie's problems.

      • V572 Hair of Destiny

        Morons are widely available, as are short people. Two out of three?

        • not that Dewey

          If I'm not mistaken, TLC has about 4 hours of primetime programming on that very subject.

      • DashboardBuddha

        As do we all, Dewey…as do we all.

      • Limeylizzie

        Full disclosure, when we first knew each other I was at his apartment and he was at work and I took a shower and got locked in the stall for 5 hours, until he came home and rescued me.

        • Guppy06

          His plan to make you think it was an accident apparently worked out well for him.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

          Polygamous Mormons call that "Foreplay".

        • Barb

          When we first got married I locked myself out of the house in a nightgown and with no shoes on. The gate was locked in the back yard and I had to jump the concrete block wall. Without shoes, I couldn't run across the gravel to get speed to hoist myself. I had no knickers on and I could hear the garbage guys making the rounds in the truck. I had to either scale that wall or go back into the garage for 8 hours and wait for Jeff.

          With scraped toes, knuckles and knees, I got over that wall and ran across the gravel and got in the window. I wonder if anyone saw it and put it on YouTube?

          • Limeylizzie

            We are from the same egg!

          • DashboardBuddha

            Back when I still had a romantic soul, I thought it would be a great idea to play a love song under the window of a young woman I was wooing at the time. And it would have been a great idea except I was standing under the wrong apartment window.

            Nasty old bitch threatened to call the cops on me.

          • tessiee

            Was your girlfriend's name Alison?
            And are you, by any chance, in The Canterbury Tales?

          • DashboardBuddha

            No ma'am. Her name was Rachel.

        • DashboardBuddha

          I bet you were really clean though.

          • Limeylizzie

            It was one of those really old-circa 1940-very tall, self-contained stalls, quite wide, and made of tempered glass, so there was no climbing out, so I washed myself multiple times, shaved practically all of my body hair, put conditioner all over me, so I didn't get all pruney and sang torch songs!

          • DashboardBuddha

            That image will carry me through the day. Thank you.

          • Limeylizzie

            Even in my extremis I knew it was insane and I went from sobbing self-pityingly to laughing like a hyena.

    • Barb

      My husband got that look the other day. I was ordering something for him online and he was spelling the last name for me. Um, it's only 5 letters and it's my name too!

      • freakishlywrong

        You were having a "conservative moment". Poor things, they go through their whole lives like that.

      • Guppy06

        As someone who has gone his whole life having to explain his last name to people, I can tell you that it's reflex, a conditioned response. Don't blame him.

        • Barb

          You're right, Guppy. The last 3 letters are "m-a-n" and it is pronounced "min", rhymes with "fin." It confuses people.

          • Geminisunmars

            Ooooo. The clues to your identity are mounting up!

          • Barb

            Yes Gemini, one day closer to revealing my true identity and having Spanky2B show up at my door with a Whitman Sampler and a severed human head for me.

          • Guppy06

            "It confuses people."

            If you need help remembering that people are idiots, scroll back up to the top.

      • PuckStopsHere

        I sort of did that. Right after we had gotten married, I had to pick up the dry cleaning and I asked my bride whose name they were under and she said, "Uh, ours?"

      • Doktor Zoom

        Oh, yes. Gave my ex that look once when, in the car, she glanced at the the radio and said "Huh. That's the third Beatles song they've played in a row."

        I gave her that face and said, "It's a tape."

        We can still get a laugh from each other with that one.

  • Redhead

    If your idiocy makes a man whose job it is to explain science to elementary school children want to bang his head against a wall, well….

    you might be a teabagger.

  • Pragmatist2

    A syllogism.
    Global warming is caused by cow farts.
    The Moon has been warmed into a dust pile.
    There are no cows on the Moon.
    Ergo: There is no global warming
    QED

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Noble alert, Noble alert!!!1!1

      Pack your bags for a trip to Norway.

      PS don't forget your Kevlar vest

  • anniegetyerfun

    Fox News should really know better than to have someone on their network who believes in science.

  • Goonemeritus

    Will that cupcake thing be on the test?

  • genxr

    These liberal greenies want to outlaw cupcakes!

  • http://theaccidentalenvironmentalist.blogspot.com Hurricane Ali

    Bill Nye is the bomb, but what the heck is he doing on FOX news? He's a scientist, for goodness sake – he should know better!

    • DashboardBuddha

      The bigger question is what was Fox thinking when it asked BN to come on the show? Fox usually brings in atheists that are dumber on science than Bill-o

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      For sure he did thorough research and got any needed shot updates before and will get full decontamination after.

  • http://thefastertimes.com/absurdnews/ inapewetrust

    they are so impressed by his reference to "algebra" that they immediately deputize him to resolve the debt ceiling fight. "whoa, did you hear him talk about surface area? he must be the smartest man alive! let's have him take care of that thing where a bunch of dumb republican politicians are trying to destroy us all, because i'm pretty sure that's some kind of math problem. it involves numbers, anyway, as far as i understand."

    these people have high-paying jobs in a terrible economy. meritocracy!

    • LesBontemps

      Al-Gebra = terrists, so Bill Nye = mooslin global warming conspiracy.

    • poncho_pilot

      i think this is the math problem:

      Congress – Corporate Lackeys + Actual Progressives = ???

      • AJWjr.

        Profit!

    • tessiee

      They heard "Algebra" and thought it was "Al Jazeera", so naturally they're suspicious.

  • V572 Hair of Destiny

    Science on Venus and the moon is the same as science on Earth, except Venus and the moon don't have Jeebus.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      V572 apparently you were snoozing a bit too much in your astronomy class.

      • V572 Hair of Destiny

        Of course, the beautiful and inspiring ascent of human knowledge from Ptolemy* to Tycho Brahae to Copernicus to Galileo to Kepler to Newton to…Jeebus.

        _________________
        *And don't underestimate Ptolemy. His math worked, and he could predict eclipses from a geocentric model.

      • genxr

        Veenus Jeebus has six arms and bleeds sulfuric acid stigmata. His body temperature is 500 degrees but it has nothing to do with fossil fuels.

      • Rosie_Scenario

        Looks more llike the face of a lion to me.

  • http://theblueelite.blogspot.com simplyblue7

    A moon??? A MOON? That's not a moon…that's just a pie in the sky. (Thank you underfunded schooling!)

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      I don't know what skool you went to, but we here understand that wasn't a volcano at all, but some sort of mold problem on the cheese.

    • tessiee

      No, no! It's not that the moon IS a pie, it's that the moon hits your eye LIKE a big pizza pie!
      *sings*
      When a gigantic eel takes a bite of your heel, that's a moray…

    • AJWjr.

      I like Moon Pies.

  • teebob2000

    He promotes the homosexual agenda by co-hosting that ride in normally family-friendly Epcot with known lesbian Ellen!!

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Like talking to a dog.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Absent rabies, most dogs are more empathetic, and some would have even greater comprehension, than Jon Scott.

      • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

        True, at least a dog looks at you and tries to understand what you are saying.

    • tessiee

      "Blah blah Ginger blah blah blah taxes blah soshulizm blah blah blah gays blah blah mexicans blah blah darkies blah blah blah guvmint gonna take away everybody's guns blah blah blah"

    • horsedreamer_1

      Beginners Libel!

  • Serolf_Divad

    no atmosphere = no atmospheric warming

    But I realize that's a bit too much information for a Fox News guy to take in all at once.

  • poncho_pilot

    maybe Nye needs to do a parody of The Nuge to get through to the Fox folks:
    http://youtu.be/RCmaxzH6JhI

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Piers Morgan would have hacked into the Man-on-the-Moon's voicemail and gotten more of the sexy details.

  • ShreditorsDesk

    There is no such thing as 'Fox News'….there is only 'Fox'.

  • teebob2000

    He muted me with SCIENCE!!

  • fuflans

    wow. at first i thought that wasbill NIGHY and THA would be awesome.

  • http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com Pop_Socket

    Bill Nye on Fox. Talk about casting pearls before swine.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    To be honest, as a typical Fox viewer, these guys lost me when they started talking about hurricanes.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Doesn't FOX usually have a disclaimer or something under a guest if they haven't been lobotomized?

    • AJWjr.

      "D", I think.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    I have a stye in my eye and it rhymes with Bill Nye!

  • prommie

    This Jon Scott sure is pretty dumb. Anyone who understands anything at all about climate science knows that moon volcanos have nothing to do with global warming. Everybody knows that the real significance of moon volcanos is that they prove that we should not raise the debt ceiling, that muslims are all secret jihadists intent on imposing Sharia slavery on us all, and that Obama is a Kenyan anti-colonialist.

    • LesBontemps

      Well, duh!

    • AJWjr.

      I thought we wanted to colonize the moon?

  • http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com Pop_Socket

    On Fox, gotchya journalism is only used against liberals and scientists.

    • Guppy06

      Fox doesn't use any kind of journalism, ever.

  • Mahousu

    Global warming is hot, and ice cream is cold. So if there were global warming, there wouldn't be any ice cream. And yet I had an ice cream cone just last night. How does your "science" explain THAT, Mr. Nye??

    • AJWjr.

      And why does my freezer produce so much heat?

  • horsedreamer_1

    Jon Scott, a journalist so skillful he couldn't outperform Chris Hansen, Predator Catcher on Dateline NBC. Had to take his talents to South of the Truth Beach.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    This post just drives me batty!

  • El Pinche

    JS: What about other "planets?"
    BN: The noxious gases of Uranus could kill a man. (rimshot)

  • tessiee

    Step 1: Fool Real Amurricans into believing global warming conspiracy/hoax.
    Step 2: ?????
    Step 3: Profit!!

    • Gleem_McShineys

      With one minor adjustment, you can fill in step 2 from reality.

      Step 1: Fool Real Amurricans into believing global warming is a conspiracy/hoax.
      Step 2: Sell lots of oil, SUV's, and bombastic teevee advertising time
      Step 3: Profit!!

  • not that Dewey

    I should stop being amazed that my 4-year-old can out-explain foxnews anchors and teaparty politicians on subjects ranging from science to American history, and just accept that we are a nation of idiots.

    • poncho_pilot

      America seems largely devoid of intellectual curiosity. by the 5th grade i learned i should keep my mouth shut most of the time.

  • El Pinche

    I'm surprised they didn't have a science expert like Neil Cavuto on this.

  • poncho_pilot

    the last moments when they discuss sending Nye to Congress reminds me greatly of Idiocracy.

    aside from that, it sounds more like a threat to Nye than a moment of, "hey, this guy could really help." more like, "take him to…Detroit."

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Jebus with the gout, the New York State Fair has introduced the Big Kahuna anus burger – 1/3 lb of cheesy bacon anus held lovingly within a sliced glazed doughnut. A 1500 calorie delight. Clearly, no tofu fu feast here.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Psh, that's just a Luther.

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        We are so ignorant of such things here in C'Addle. Jeesh, we've 3.5 mil and only two Krispy Kremes for fats' sake.

    • Cicada

      The California State Fair had something like that a few years back, but made with a battered and deep fried (of course) chicken breast slathered in "secret sauce" on a glazed donut. Bacon was one topping option.

      It's monstrosities like this that make me appreciate the refined aesthetics of deep fried butter.

  • smitallica

    "The great thing about science is, it's true for all of us."

    In other words, all the propaganda, religion, and asshole Republican demagoguing can't change little things like facts. You fucktards.

    • V572 Hair of Destiny

      Which is why Saint Ronnie of Santa Barbara told us that facts are stupid things. And he knew his science! For instance, Ronnie believed, until informed otherwise by the Defense Department, that intercontinental ballistic missiles could be recalled or rerouted after launch. Scary!

  • x111e7thst

    Fox "News" anchors recognize that science and reality are not to be trusted when they conflict with dogma. They are truly of the Elect.

  • SayItWithWookies

    That's so cute — Bill, explaining things to a FOX News anchor is like explaining them to a Pomeranian only without the big wet eyes and the cocked head. Actually, the Pomeranian wouldn't have an inane comeback question either.

  • freddymcmurray

    A little number crunching. And ball busting.

  • http://oliphantparts.org/ natoslug

    "Explain it to me as if I were a complete idiot, Bill."
    "Well Jon, I would, but most complete idiots are at least an order of magnitude brighter than you. Let's talk about cupcakes instead, mmmkay?"

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    Having Bill Nye on is part of Fox's commitment to being Fair and Balanced® by including "facts" as a way to tell the other side.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    It may have already been said above, ain't got time to check, but it seems that this Jon Scott guy must not have watched Bill Nye the Science guy when he was younger. Or if he did, he didn't watch for comprehension.

    • DashboardBuddha

      He dug the Rat.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I liked Jon Scott better when he sang for AC/DC back in the 1970s.

    ♪"We're on the highway to hell!"♫

  • widestanceroman

    I try to live by science alone.

    • V572 Hair of Destiny

      What kind of sex does that include?

    • widestanceroman

      To V572 Hair of Destiny, re: deleted comment:

      Accurate, measured and verifiable

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    What's the Eleventh Doctor doing on Fox News? I didn't think they had politics on Gallifrey.

    • SorosBot

      No politics on Galifrey? Try telling that to President Borusa, if he wasn't now stone. Someone needs to see The Deadly Assassin and The Five Doctors.

      • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

        Eh, I always thought Gallifrey was more of a dictatorship, esp. with rotting-corpse Masters running around sowing chaos and the Eye of Harmony basically running the show, figuratively and literally. But those outfits they wear are the shizzle. (I never could get into those multiple-Doctor shows, but the Deadly Assassin is one of the best eps EVAR.)

    • Doktor Zoom

      Nerd.

      • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

        You rang?

  • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

    From explaining science to children, to explaining science to childish assholes. This is a big step for Bill Nye.

    • tessiee

      Yeah, a big step BACK!
      [ba dum bum]

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    OT: Other sites that use IntenseDebate still have thumbs-down buttons activated, so downfist-free Wonkette must be a choice of the proprietors.

    • widestanceroman

      Yay, we get special rights like queers!

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        More like, nobody loses! Everyboy gets a participation certificate!!

    • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

      But how will we downfist Trolls and Breitfarts? Unless Ken has figured out a way to immediately banhammer them…

  • thefrontpage

    Bill Nye should know about aliens since he is one.

    Nye is to science what "Dr., but Not a Doctor" Phil is to psychology.

    Both are idiots, by the way.

    • HuddledMass

      Too harsh — lots of MIT kiddies were Bill Nye fans in their infancy. Although Beakman's World had a big following too.

      • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

        See, I was right. He IS a Time Lord. Weird outfit – check. Idiosyncratic fashion accessory – check. Whimsical hairdo – check. Strange affect – check. Someone see if he is packing a sonic screwdriver and knows Venusian aikido.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

      I think Bill Nye's past his sell-by date. Our new resident Science Nerd should be Doctor "I was a neuroscientist who appeared on Big Brother and then I got saline implants and went to Hollywood and appeared on Hot Tub Fantasy Football Pick Show" Michele Noonan.

      • LesBontemps

        Works for me. But I'm cheap and easy.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Scott is more concerned about Galactic Warming.

  • comrad_darkness

    Fox hires the absolutely stupidest people it can, right? They can't possibly scrape the barrel any deeper, right?

  • Crank_Tango

    But would you eat the moon if it was made of barbecued spare-ribs?

  • HedonismBot

    Silver lining here. I know Fox News only has scientists on their programs as part of pathetic and misguided attempts to discredit them and distort real scientific discoveries to convince viewers that global warming is somehow a fraud. But maybe, in the midst of all the smoke and mirrors and Flat-Earthery, some viewers with higher than average cranial capacity might somehow – even if only by accident – actually learn something.
    Bill! Bill! Bill! Bill! Science rules…

    • tessiee

      "Fox News only has scientists on their programs as part of pathetic and misguided attempts to discredit them and distort real scientific discoveries to convince viewers that global warming is somehow a fraud."

      It really is like on the Simpsons when Fox digitally adds flames and devil horns to Democrats.

  • mormos

    FUCK YEAH BILL NYE! dude is awesome. Mr. Rogers level awesome!

  • user-of-owls

    Bill Nye, typical moonbat.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      And Bill can be with the certains, even when he's wrong. I had a talk with Bill some years back when he wuz still here in C'Addle and we were waiting for a sailboat to pass before we could cross the draw bridge to the beloved Republic of Fremont. There is a much higher, troll guarded bridge that soars just east of the Fremont Bridge. And I asked Bill if he new that that bridge, usually called the "Aurora Bridge" was really the George Washington Bridge? Bill emphatically said I was crazy. Mmmm, the Wiki seems to think maybe not so much.

      • user-of-owls

        Bill Nye, the Obdurate Guy.

  • user-of-owls

    Well, that cinches it. The only moral thing to do now is to eliminate PBS completely.

  • DahBoner

    Hey Jon!

    Gravity is just a "theory", like global warming.

    Hey, if you're too smart to believe in theories, why don't you jump off the Empire State building.

    Theories can't kill you, amirite?

  • thefrontpage

    It's not too harsh to criticize Nye–he's often veered stupidly into Crazy Town, said some incredibly stupid things, and has often been flat-out wrong, biased and inaccurate on numerous issues. He's also got an, er, "reputation," if you know what I mean. He's nuts. And he does not practice real science. Just like "Dr. but Not a Doctor" Phil does not practice any real anything. They're both jerks.

    • DangerHelvetica

      I don't know what you mean.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    Next up on Fox & Friends: Shaggy 2 Dope on magnetism, and Claudius Ptolemy on the Solar System.

  • tessiee

    That's because belief is not only morally superior to evidence, it's factually superior.
    *looks sideways suspiciously at proudgrampa*
    Unless you're one a them atheists…

  • mumbly_joe

    The best part is, I remember his children's show very well, and I'm absolutely certain that he had to take his time and explain things more slowly and patiently and in lower-concept terminology on Fox News for putative adults than he ever did on his teevee show designed to introduce 8-to-13-year-olds to elementary science concepts.

    Particularly when he talks about how the moon cooled off- he is honestly completely terrified that the square-cube rule is going to go completely over their heads, and he is right.

  • Gomez571

    This is the first video I have been able to watch from work in weeks. Apparently FoxNews is not blocked. My overlords have spoken.

  • Nostrildamus

    Gravity is socialist. It pulls the big man down more than the little guy. Why do we so burden our mass creators?

  • mavenmaven

    I was a fan of his from the "almost live" days (still the best skit comedy show ever, check them out on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6-SJLlneLc )

  • valgal2342

    I think Jon got a hard on when Bill told him he asked an excellent question. He started to squirm in his seat and cast a silly grin.

  • a_pink_poodle

    This is Bill Nye we're talking about here! He especially specializes in talking to children!

  • AnotherKiwi

    We manage to stay on the earth, Mr thunder (if that is your real name) because YOU are upsidedown. Hah hah I run rings around you logically.

  • ttommyunger

    For a "Science Guy", he's not so smart; doesn't even speak moron.

  • mosaickmind

    Uh oh, this Science Nazi is trying to shove moon shit down our throats!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Several high-wire acrobats got electrocuted in previews.

  • V572 Hair of Destiny

    Miche1e did the same thing to Geithner: asked him questions based on such profound ignorance or misinformation that they could not be answered in few words. When the witness pauses, the questioner looks around as if to say: "See? See? I stumped this so-called smart guy!"

    And the yahoos tell themselves: "That just proves book larnin' ain't worth nothin', like Pappy always sayed."

  • FNMA

    Some people, not me, have manners and don't blurt out, "What the fuck are you talking about?" when asked an idiotic question.
    Remember, there is no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid people.

  • tessiee

    "When the witness pauses, the questioner looks around as if to say: "See? See? I stumped this so-called smart guy!"

    And the yahoos tell themselves: "That just proves book larnin' ain't worth nothin', like Pappy always sayed." "

    And as if all that weren't bad enough, they always look so damn pleased with themselves about the whole thing.

  • mumbly_joe

    It's interesting to note that Fed secretaries don't really have this problem when Ron Paul accuses the Fed of kidnapping the Lindburgh baby. At this point, all Fed secretaries have a fairly stock "nothing you're asking about has anything to do with anything" answer for anything Ron Paul sez, they must get taught it during orientation.

  • Doktor Zoom