JUSTICE REPORT  4:28 pm July 28, 2011

UPDATE: South Carolina Sheriff Thrown In Jail After Issuing TRUCK NUTZ Fine

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

INSTANT COMEUPPANCE, BIYOTCHES. The killjoy police chief who fined a 65-year-old woman for hanging red Truck Nutz off her pickup truck turns out to be a bit of a “Joe Walsh” himself. He was tossed into the clink for owing $15,000 in back child support payments that he hadn’t paid since 2006. Is it sheer coincidence that he was finally arrested mere days after he decided to hunt down Truck Nutz? TRUCK NUTZ 1 POLICE 0.

Berkeley County sheriff’s deputies took the chief of Bonneau’s police department to family court Wednesday and held him there until he came up with over $15,000 in overdue child support.

Judge Wayne Creech found Chief Franco Fuda in contempt of court and gave him the chance to pay what he owed to an ex-wife in Illinois before sending him to Berkeley County Detention Center, according to court documents.

According to court records, Fuda kept up with his $275 per-month child support payments from December 1992, when his wife gained custody of their infant son in their divorce, until January 2004, when his payments became more sporadic. In June 2006, Fuda stopped paying altogether for at least three years, records state.

[The Post and Courier; thanks to Wonkette operative "Chuck H."]


Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


DrunkIrishman July 28, 2011 at 4:30 pm

South Carolina should create its own reality show.

They could call it Southern Nutz.

elviouslyqueer July 28, 2011 at 5:13 pm

Shit, son. They'd have to fight Tennessee, Georgia, Alabama, and Mississippi for proprietary naming rights.

Tundra Grifter July 28, 2011 at 5:33 pm

They used to call San Francisco "Granola" – after you got through the fruits and the nuts, all that was left was the flakes.

I'd call the South "Mixed Nutz."

Rarian Rakista July 29, 2011 at 2:40 am

Well they ain't the salt of the earth anymore, maybe the Cheetos of the parking lot.

RavenRant July 28, 2011 at 8:13 pm

Starring Mark Sanford and Basil Marceaux. And the 'does it to you' guy, whatever his name was.

I think ol' Basil should throw his hat in the ring. Marceaux 2012!

Madfall July 28, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Sometimes karmic consequences are beautiful, beautiful things.

Although obviously I give less than a toss about plastic nutz.

OkieDokieDog July 28, 2011 at 4:32 pm

This is all Obama's fault.

Atlas Frooged July 28, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Let's blame him for the Nutz AND the sheriff's jailing.

Hey! I could be a Republican strategist, if I didn't have a conscience.

poncho_pilot July 28, 2011 at 7:03 pm

"evil will always win because good is dumb." –Lord Helmet

Pragmatist2 July 28, 2011 at 4:35 pm

Odin! Odin!

Barb July 28, 2011 at 4:37 pm

If nuts offend him he's really going to be unhappy in jail, I'm just sayin'.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 28, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Or maybe he will just get a greater appreciation of them.

Rarian Rakista July 29, 2011 at 2:41 am

Hopefully he is a supertaster.

x111e7thst July 28, 2011 at 4:37 pm

TruckNutz before DickWeeds.

Monsieur_Grumpe July 28, 2011 at 4:37 pm

Moral of the story?
Don't fuck with Truck Nutz!

OneYieldRegular July 28, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Do not taunt happy TruckNutz.

BaldarTFlagass July 28, 2011 at 4:40 pm

My Trucknutz are an angry, jealous Trucknuts.

inapewetrust July 28, 2011 at 4:42 pm

sounds like Berkeley County law enforcement is in the pocket of Big Truck Nutz

tcaalaw July 28, 2011 at 6:17 pm

Or the sack, as it were.

BaldarTFlagass July 28, 2011 at 4:42 pm

"Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you pull over a lady with Trucknutz out on the highway, I'll take your badge away from you, stick it up your ass and poke you with the pin in your dick."


"You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Trucknutz."

LettucePrey July 28, 2011 at 4:54 pm

That's just, like, your opinion, man.

MLHencken July 29, 2011 at 7:44 am

8 year olds, Dude.

widestanceroman July 28, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Interesting that he found the money once he saw bars from both sides (now).

Is prison life easy for ex-cops? I'm thinkin' not so much, but at least he'll make new friendships to last a lifetime.

zhubajie July 28, 2011 at 6:38 pm

Well, when I lived in Butler Co., Ohio (between Cincinnati and Dayton), the local sheriff got 90 days in jail for pistol-whipping a deputy and threatening to kill him. He spent the nights in the solitary confinement cell, for safety's sake, but was let out days to work,as sheriff!

johnnyzhivago July 28, 2011 at 7:01 pm

He might as well kiss the baby.

flamingpdog July 28, 2011 at 7:26 pm

however brief and grim it may be.

Callyson July 28, 2011 at 4:43 pm

On July 7 of this year, Berkeley County Clerk of Court Mary Brown sent a memo to Bonneau's payroll department ordering that Fuda's wages be withheld to pay his arrears.
Can we send Mary Brown to Congress' payroll department now?

elviouslyqueer July 28, 2011 at 5:17 pm

Dear Ms. Brown:

Sic 'em. And thank you in advance.



BornInATrailer July 28, 2011 at 4:47 pm

"I ticketed an older woman for Truck Nutz and didn't pay my child support" will make for superior prison bragging material.

PuckStopsHere July 28, 2011 at 4:55 pm

"And they all slid down the Group W bench…"

OneYieldRegular July 28, 2011 at 5:40 pm

Very nice.

Rotundo_ July 28, 2011 at 7:41 pm

Either that or one helluva country song: Mah daddy's in prison for child support, and trucknutz. My mawmuh laughed 'til she done pee'd herself. Trucknutz oh Trucknutz you fed me when I was a baby, etc. ad nauseum…

ManchuCandidate July 28, 2011 at 4:47 pm


Fucked Up Dumb Ass.

smokefilleddoommate July 28, 2011 at 4:50 pm


SudsMcKenzie July 28, 2011 at 4:50 pm

I wonder what they do to anti-Truck Nutz police officers in jail?

ManchuCandidate July 28, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Slap Chop

Come here a minute July 28, 2011 at 7:11 pm

"You're gonna love my nuts!"

PuckStopsHere July 28, 2011 at 4:54 pm

It's obvious to me that Chief Franco Fuda has a hard-on for Truck Nutz.

SmutBoffin July 28, 2011 at 4:54 pm

This is proof that G-d himself drives a betesticled F150.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 28, 2011 at 4:54 pm

Wait, how did he have a child if he doesn't have any nutz?

GeneralTapioca July 28, 2011 at 5:00 pm

They can have my Truck Nutz when they pry them from my cold, dead fingers!

NorthStarSpanx July 29, 2011 at 10:24 am

Since when were your nutz stuck in Michele Bachmann's hands?

SayItWithWookies July 28, 2011 at 5:04 pm

If Mr. Fuda had paid more attention to his own nuts and less to that lady's, none of this would've happened.

MozakiBlocks July 29, 2011 at 9:03 am

Wookies, you ain't ever lied man, you ain't ever lied.

metamarcisf July 28, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Wayne Creech and Franco Fuda. You can't make these names up

weejee July 28, 2011 at 5:18 pm

If they make TrukNutz a crime, only criminals will have TrukNutz. Yeah, seems about right.

GOPCrusher July 28, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Today, we are all TruckNutz

MinAgain July 28, 2011 at 5:45 pm

You know, having a pair of low-hanging balls is not necessarily an advantage in jail.

Crank_Tango July 28, 2011 at 5:58 pm

It's a well-known fact that teh Trucknutz are on the tank for Obama.

GodShammgod July 28, 2011 at 6:00 pm

I don't know about you all, but I'm proud to be an American again.

V572 Hair of Destiny July 28, 2011 at 7:03 pm

For the first time in my life I'm proud of my country.

glamourdammerung July 28, 2011 at 6:05 pm

Funny how all these authoritarians tend to have proverbial (and sometimes literal) skeletons in their closets.

gullywompr July 28, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Dear Karma,

Thank you.


pinkocommi July 28, 2011 at 6:09 pm

If he didn't cough up the outstanding child support, the ex-wife in Illinois should have hung Fuda's nuts on her truck.

DashboardBuddha July 28, 2011 at 6:26 pm

Instant Karma's Gonna Find You..

johnnyzhivago July 28, 2011 at 6:29 pm

He should be arresting those commies with "COEXIST" bumper stickers, not good ole' American trucknutz!

KenLayIsAlive July 28, 2011 at 6:53 pm

And yet Joe Walsh walks free.

V572 Hair of Destiny July 28, 2011 at 7:04 pm

The Eagles got considerably better when he joined them, though.

KenLayIsAlive July 28, 2011 at 7:46 pm

This is true.

Negropolis July 28, 2011 at 10:31 pm

The news just broke, today, right? There is still time. I don't expect a resignation, but it seems a possibility if this story is hit hard enough. I'd imagine there has to be more to come out of this…

KenLayIsAlive July 28, 2011 at 10:51 pm

Oh that's cute! Like justice or something will happen? That's adorable. Really. ; )

Chet Kincaid July 28, 2011 at 7:01 pm

I'm so sick of hearing about Trucknutz!! I can't get any market penetration for my TruckSnatch® Gas Tank Opening Cozies!

Rotundo_ July 28, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Bubbas don't understand the intricate nature of those things; foreplay before you fuel up? Bubbas are more anxious to get in the convenience store, buy that carton of smokes and twelve pack of Bud Light and light up than fool around with the gas cap for a few minutes before fuelin' up. Kind of like trying to get done with stuff before Leno comes on 'cause they don't want to miss the monologue or Jaywalking.

DustBowlBlues July 28, 2011 at 10:19 pm

I keep trying to tell you people: the next fortune to be made is in Timothy McVeigh commemorative tee shirts and truck nutz for scooters.

BaldarTFlagass July 28, 2011 at 10:23 pm

No shit. You'd think something like that would be more popular than Dunkin Donuts and Zestra combined.

V572 Hair of Destiny July 28, 2011 at 7:04 pm

This is what Dr King was referring to when he said, "The arc of the universe is wide, but it bends toward justice."

Negropolis July 28, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Dr. King was a secret Buddhist!

V572 Hair of Destiny July 28, 2011 at 11:43 pm

Here’s the sermon that came from. It brings tears to my eyes every time I read it.http://www.salsa.net/peace/conv/8weekconv4-2.html

TX_Bluebonnets July 28, 2011 at 7:09 pm

And what was jail like for you, Chief Fuda?

Just got teabagged all damn day by some guy that looked like a truck.

Jail is like middle school, only with rape.

__kth__ July 28, 2011 at 7:11 pm

Semi-OT, but if you didn't think it was possible to write a sentence containing the words "cute" or "adorable", and "TruckNutz", you'd be wrong.

Monsieur_Grumpe July 28, 2011 at 7:14 pm

Damn you.

emmelemm July 28, 2011 at 8:26 pm

In Ore-EH-gone, no less!!

What an adorable picture.

randcoolcatdaddy July 28, 2011 at 7:18 pm

He spent all the money on Fleshlights.

Timo3K July 28, 2011 at 7:57 pm

Ex-wife in Illinois? You don't think he and Walshy are sharing…. ? Naw.

Barrelhse July 28, 2011 at 8:17 pm

Franco Fuda? As in Hotto Doga?

ttommyunger July 28, 2011 at 11:19 pm

$275 a month? What a fucking moron; but you already knew that, didn't you?

bflrtsplk July 29, 2011 at 12:03 am

How many Trucknutz can you buy for $275?

prommie July 29, 2011 at 9:45 am

$275 a month?

comrad_darkness July 29, 2011 at 12:24 pm

The kid's on a strict hobo bean diet and goes barefoot, even in winter.

horsedreamer_1 July 29, 2011 at 11:06 am

Fuda sounds like a fancy kind of weed.

Mkloz July 29, 2011 at 11:15 am

Oh Bawlz! Respectfully, Wonkette and Chuck H. have the story wrong–or at least the timeline. Chief Franco "Nutzy" Fuda was arrested in July of 2010, NOT after the ballsy bust. Check the Post and Courier link above. July 23, 2010. Nuts!

bureaucrap July 29, 2011 at 3:55 pm

That changes the whole "karma" leitmotif, doesn't it? Perhaps in arresting this poor woman he was somehow subconsciously trying to wreak vengeance on his own balls for their uncontrollable behavior. In any case, there's still a karmic debt to be paid, and he's about to go into default.

Mkloz July 29, 2011 at 3:59 pm

@bureaucrap Brilliant analysis, my friend. Brilliant.

voodooeconomics July 29, 2011 at 4:58 pm

Of course if you go against major state symbols you might get jailed too. Trucknutz is on the flag man.

OldRedneck July 30, 2011 at 1:21 pm
Monsieur_Grumpe July 28, 2011 at 7:27 pm

Damn you!

LesBontemps July 28, 2011 at 9:48 pm

McMillin said that is not good enough and that she will never shop at Walmart again.

I saw that picture. Talk about your idle threats.

GeneralTapioca July 28, 2011 at 9:56 pm

It's Spider Jerusalem with a sex change.

KenLayIsAlive July 28, 2011 at 10:50 pm

hawt. I mean eeeeew.

Also, she totally resembles your avatar. Coincidence?

Pres.Beeblebrox July 29, 2011 at 9:08 am

That which has been seen….cannot be unseen.

PristineODummy July 29, 2011 at 5:03 pm

If I hadn't been blinded by that photo, I might harbour thoughts of tracking you down and exacting revenge. So, well played.

NorthStarSpanx July 29, 2011 at 10:22 am

She should make the People of Walmart honor wall. She's actually a step-up in some cases.

AJWjr. July 29, 2011 at 7:00 pm

Now I haz sad, I was looking forward to the visit.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: