justice report

UPDATE: South Carolina Sheriff Thrown In Jail After Issuing TRUCK NUTZ Fine

INSTANT COMEUPPANCE, BIYOTCHES. The killjoy police chief who fined a 65-year-old woman for hanging red Truck Nutz off her pickup truck turns out to be a bit of a “Joe Walsh” himself. He was tossed into the clink for owing $15,000 in back child support payments that he hadn’t paid since 2006. Is it sheer coincidence that he was finally arrested mere days after he decided to hunt down Truck Nutz? TRUCK NUTZ 1 POLICE 0.

Berkeley County sheriff’s deputies took the chief of Bonneau’s police department to family court Wednesday and held him there until he came up with over $15,000 in overdue child support.

Judge Wayne Creech found Chief Franco Fuda in contempt of court and gave him the chance to pay what he owed to an ex-wife in Illinois before sending him to Berkeley County Detention Center, according to court documents.

According to court records, Fuda kept up with his $275 per-month child support payments from December 1992, when his wife gained custody of their infant son in their divorce, until January 2004, when his payments became more sporadic. In June 2006, Fuda stopped paying altogether for at least three years, records state.

[The Post and Courier; thanks to Wonkette operative “Chuck H.”]

Comments

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  • DrunkIrishman

    South Carolina should create its own reality show.

    They could call it Southern Nutz.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Shit, son. They'd have to fight Tennessee, Georgia, Alabama, and Mississippi for proprietary naming rights.

    • Tundra Grifter

      They used to call San Francisco "Granola" – after you got through the fruits and the nuts, all that was left was the flakes.

      I'd call the South "Mixed Nutz."

      • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

        Well they ain't the salt of the earth anymore, maybe the Cheetos of the parking lot.

    • RavenRant

      Starring Mark Sanford and Basil Marceaux. And the 'does it to you' guy, whatever his name was.

      I think ol' Basil should throw his hat in the ring. Marceaux 2012!

  • http://www.neoseeker.com/forums/ Madfall

    Sometimes karmic consequences are beautiful, beautiful things.

    Although obviously I give less than a toss about plastic nutz.

  • OkieDokieDog

    This is all Obama's fault.

    • http://whatthefuckhasgopdonesofar.com/ Atlas Frooged

      Let's blame him for the Nutz AND the sheriff's jailing.

      Hey! I could be a Republican strategist, if I didn't have a conscience.

      • poncho_pilot

        "evil will always win because good is dumb." –Lord Helmet

  • Pragmatist2

    Odin! Odin!

  • Barb

    If nuts offend him he's really going to be unhappy in jail, I'm just sayin'.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Or maybe he will just get a greater appreciation of them.

      • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

        Hopefully he is a supertaster.

  • x111e7thst

    TruckNutz before DickWeeds.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    Moral of the story?
    Don't fuck with Truck Nutz!

    • OneYieldRegular

      Do not taunt happy TruckNutz.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    My Trucknutz are an angry, jealous Trucknuts.

  • http://thefastertimes.com/absurdnews/ inapewetrust

    sounds like Berkeley County law enforcement is in the pocket of Big Truck Nutz

    • tcaalaw

      Or the sack, as it were.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you pull over a lady with Trucknutz out on the highway, I'll take your badge away from you, stick it up your ass and poke you with the pin in your dick."

    "Trucknutz?"

    "You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Trucknutz."

    • LettucePrey

      That's just, like, your opinion, man.

    • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

      8 year olds, Dude.

  • widestanceroman

    Interesting that he found the money once he saw bars from both sides (now).

    Is prison life easy for ex-cops? I'm thinkin' not so much, but at least he'll make new friendships to last a lifetime.

    • zhubajie

      Well, when I lived in Butler Co., Ohio (between Cincinnati and Dayton), the local sheriff got 90 days in jail for pistol-whipping a deputy and threatening to kill him. He spent the nights in the solitary confinement cell, for safety's sake, but was let out days to work,as sheriff!

    • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

      He might as well kiss the baby.

    • flamingpdog

      however brief and grim it may be.

  • Callyson

    On July 7 of this year, Berkeley County Clerk of Court Mary Brown sent a memo to Bonneau's payroll department ordering that Fuda's wages be withheld to pay his arrears.
    Can we send Mary Brown to Congress' payroll department now?

    • elviouslyqueer

      Dear Ms. Brown:

      Sic 'em. And thank you in advance.

      Kisses,

      elviouslyqueer

  • BornInATrailer

    "I ticketed an older woman for Truck Nutz and didn't pay my child support" will make for superior prison bragging material.

    • PuckStopsHere

      "And they all slid down the Group W bench…"

      • OneYieldRegular

        Very nice.

    • Rotundo_

      Either that or one helluva country song: Mah daddy's in prison for child support, and trucknutz. My mawmuh laughed 'til she done pee'd herself. Trucknutz oh Trucknutz you fed me when I was a baby, etc. ad nauseum…

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Fuda?

    Fucked Up Dumb Ass.

  • http://www.wonkette.com smokefilleddoommate

    KarmaNutz?

  • SudsMcKenzie

    I wonder what they do to anti-Truck Nutz police officers in jail?

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      Slap Chop

      • Come here a minute

        "You're gonna love my nuts!"

  • PuckStopsHere

    It's obvious to me that Chief Franco Fuda has a hard-on for Truck Nutz.

  • SmutBoffin

    This is proof that G-d himself drives a betesticled F150.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Wait, how did he have a child if he doesn't have any nutz?

  • GeneralTapioca

    They can have my Truck Nutz when they pry them from my cold, dead fingers!

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Since when were your nutz stuck in Michele Bachmann's hands?

  • SayItWithWookies

    If Mr. Fuda had paid more attention to his own nuts and less to that lady's, none of this would've happened.

    • MozakiBlocks

      Wookies, you ain't ever lied man, you ain't ever lied.

  • metamarcisf

    Wayne Creech and Franco Fuda. You can't make these names up

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    If they make TrukNutz a crime, only criminals will have TrukNutz. Yeah, seems about right.

  • GOPCrusher

    Today, we are all TruckNutz

  • MinAgain

    You know, having a pair of low-hanging balls is not necessarily an advantage in jail.

  • Crank_Tango

    It's a well-known fact that teh Trucknutz are on the tank for Obama.

  • GodShammgod

    I don't know about you all, but I'm proud to be an American again.

    • V572 Hair of Destiny

      For the first time in my life I'm proud of my country.

  • glamourdammerung

    Funny how all these authoritarians tend to have proverbial (and sometimes literal) skeletons in their closets.

  • gullywompr

    Dear Karma,

    Thank you.

    Love,
    gullywompr

  • pinkocommi

    If he didn't cough up the outstanding child support, the ex-wife in Illinois should have hung Fuda's nuts on her truck.

  • DashboardBuddha

    Instant Karma's Gonna Find You..

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    He should be arresting those commies with "COEXIST" bumper stickers, not good ole' American trucknutz!

  • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

    And yet Joe Walsh walks free.

    • V572 Hair of Destiny

      The Eagles got considerably better when he joined them, though.

      • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

        This is true.

    • Negropolis

      The news just broke, today, right? There is still time. I don't expect a resignation, but it seems a possibility if this story is hit hard enough. I'd imagine there has to be more to come out of this…

      • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

        Oh that's cute! Like justice or something will happen? That's adorable. Really. ; )

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    I'm so sick of hearing about Trucknutz!! I can't get any market penetration for my TruckSnatch® Gas Tank Opening Cozies!

    • Rotundo_

      Bubbas don't understand the intricate nature of those things; foreplay before you fuel up? Bubbas are more anxious to get in the convenience store, buy that carton of smokes and twelve pack of Bud Light and light up than fool around with the gas cap for a few minutes before fuelin' up. Kind of like trying to get done with stuff before Leno comes on 'cause they don't want to miss the monologue or Jaywalking.

    • DustBowlBlues

      I keep trying to tell you people: the next fortune to be made is in Timothy McVeigh commemorative tee shirts and truck nutz for scooters.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      No shit. You'd think something like that would be more popular than Dunkin Donuts and Zestra combined.

  • V572 Hair of Destiny

    This is what Dr King was referring to when he said, "The arc of the universe is wide, but it bends toward justice."

  • TX_Bluebonnets

    And what was jail like for you, Chief Fuda?

    Just got teabagged all damn day by some guy that looked like a truck.

    Jail is like middle school, only with rape.

  • __kth__

    Semi-OT, but if you didn't think it was possible to write a sentence containing the words "cute" or "adorable", and "TruckNutz", you'd be wrong.

    • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

      Awwwwwwwwwwwww.
      Damn you.
      Awwwwwwwwwww.

    • emmelemm

      In Ore-EH-gone, no less!!

      What an adorable picture.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    He spent all the money on Fleshlights.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/timo3k Timo3K

    Ex-wife in Illinois? You don't think he and Walshy are sharing…. ? Naw.

  • Barrelhse

    Franco Fuda? As in Hotto Doga?

  • ttommyunger

    $275 a month? What a fucking moron; but you already knew that, didn't you?

  • bflrtsplk

    How many Trucknutz can you buy for $275?

  • prommie

    $275 a month?

    • comrad_darkness

      The kid's on a strict hobo bean diet and goes barefoot, even in winter.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Fuda sounds like a fancy kind of weed.

  • Mkloz

    Oh Bawlz! Respectfully, Wonkette and Chuck H. have the story wrong–or at least the timeline. Chief Franco "Nutzy" Fuda was arrested in July of 2010, NOT after the ballsy bust. Check the Post and Courier link above. July 23, 2010. Nuts!

    • bureaucrap

      That changes the whole "karma" leitmotif, doesn't it? Perhaps in arresting this poor woman he was somehow subconsciously trying to wreak vengeance on his own balls for their uncontrollable behavior. In any case, there's still a karmic debt to be paid, and he's about to go into default.

  • Mkloz

    @bureaucrap Brilliant analysis, my friend. Brilliant.

  • voodooeconomics

    Of course if you go against major state symbols you might get jailed too. Trucknutz is on the flag man.

  • OldRedneck
  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg!
    Damn you!
    Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrg!

  • LesBontemps

    McMillin said that is not good enough and that she will never shop at Walmart again.

    I saw that picture. Talk about your idle threats.

  • GeneralTapioca

    It's Spider Jerusalem with a sex change.

  • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

    hawt. I mean eeeeew.

    Also, she totally resembles your avatar. Coincidence?

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    That which has been seen….cannot be unseen.

  • PristineODummy

    If I hadn't been blinded by that photo, I might harbour thoughts of tracking you down and exacting revenge. So, well played.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    She should make the People of Walmart honor wall. She's actually a step-up in some cases.

  • AJWjr.

    Now I haz sad, I was looking forward to the visit.