goobers

Fiscal Prudence Screamer Joe Walsh Sued For $100,000 in Child Support

why can't joe's children just get an acting job like joe?Screeching famewhore Joe Walsh is a Tea Party congressman who is always thrilled to go on the teevee to blow snot about the fiscal irresponsibility of the Obama administration and not so much thrilled about the actual governing process. He is, like Michele Bachmann, mostly notable for being one of the loudest members of the zombie army of hillbilly barbie dolls elected by Teabaggers to perform the ignorant fantasies of disgruntled racist white constituents in front of cameras by yelling about the gubamint in half-baked sentences. He is, however, pretty light on actual legislative accomplishments (which means zero). So is it much surprise that Walsh is accused of serially avoiding paying child support to his ex-wife and three kids to the tune of $117,000? Well here is Joe’s problem with that, he just does not like people asking for a “social safety net.” It is time to reform dependent offspring entitlements!

From an investigation by the Chicago Sun-Times:

Freshman U.S. Rep. Joe Walsh, a tax-bashing Tea Party champion who sharply lectures President Barack Obama and other Democrats on fiscal responsibility, owes more than $100,000 in child support to his ex-wife and three children, according to documents his ex-wife filed in their divorce case in December.

“I won’t place one more dollar of debt upon the backs of my kids and grandkids unless we structurally reform the way this town spends money!” Walsh says directly into the camera in his viral video lecturing Obama on the need to get the nation’s finances in order.

Walsh starts the video by saying, “President Obama, quit lying. Have you no shame, sir? In three short years, you’ve bankrupted this country.”

In court documents, after his ex-wife, Laura Walsh, asked a judge to suspend his driver’s license until he paid his child support, Joe Walsh asks his ex-wife’s lawyer: “Have you no decency?”

Time to start charging for those interviews, Joe! [Chicago Sun-Times]

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  • http://www.neoseeker.com/forums/ Madfall

    Sounds like a good family man.

    • Flat_Earther

      Joe is all about family values.

      • Doktor Zoom

        Apparently, his family is valued at about -$117,000

        • poncho_pilot

          that's expensive. i'll give him $75K. final offer.

          • Doktor Zoom
          • poncho_pilot

            won't load :(

            Blues Brothers?

          • Doktor Zoom

            Yep–Walsh caught the Katy, left her a mule to ride.

          • poncho_pilot

            "well my temperature is rising casting votes on the floor.
            crazy people rocking 'cause they want child support."

          • Doktor Zoom

            Congressman Walsh would like to thank all the members of the Illinois Law Enforcement community who have chosen to join him at this time.

          • poncho_pilot

            but how does he feel about Illinois Nazis?

          • not that Dewey

            He's glad to be one?

          • horsedreamer_1

            Got me all mixed up like pasta primavera…
            Joe Walsh, why'd you throw a chair at Geraldo Rivera?

    • sunmusing

      Joe… YOU LIE!

    • PristineODummy

      Well, he would be, if he had a good family. Those whining entitled losers of brats of his, though, man, they're just like taxpayers, you know? Always wanting something. Especially something of HIS.

  • mirrorballdc

    Meh. Just get the Eagles out on the road for another tour and he can make that money easily.

    • genxr

      Jesus man, can you change the fucking station? I had a rough night, and I hate the fucking Eagles, man.

      • RedneckMuslin

        Take It easy, take it easy
        Don't let the sound of your own wheels
        drive you crazy
        Lighten up while you still can
        don't even try to understand
        Just find a place to make your stand
        and take it easy

      • LettucePrey

        Get the fuck out of my cab! And stay out of Malibu, Lebowski!

      • poncho_pilot

        Don Henley must die.

        • Doktor Zoom

          Several years after [the release of "Don Henley Must Die"], Henley jumped onstage with Nixon at The Hole in the Wall in Austin, Texas, to perform the song. When Henley jumped out of the crowd, the dumbfounded Nixon immediately asked, "Is Debbie Gibson here too?" Nixon later praised Henley in this way: "He has balls the size of church bells!"

          God, I love Wikipedia.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            And I love Mojo Nixon.

          • Swampgas_Man

            O thank heavens, I pictured an entirely different Nixon.

          • PristineODummy

            Me too. It's tough being an Oldz.

          • gullywompr

            I've never looked at Michael J. Fox the same way ever since.

          • horsedreamer_1

            Was Ken Layne also there?

  • genxr

    It's called fiscal responsibility. He put a stop to his wife and kids' runaway spending by refusing to raise his own debt ceiling. He knows better than anyone that there's no real consequences for a default.

    • soojank

      You know, those entitled kids wanting things like "clothes" and "food", probably. This isn't paternalism!!!1

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Perfectly good Conservatism. He wouldn't want his children to be dependent on him.

        • PristineODummy

          It destroys the concept of self-reliance. Those little buggers need to learn that handouts aren't available any more, that freedom ain't free. They need to bend over and grab their bootstraps, and … er … never mind.

          On another topic entirely, does he look seriously closeted to you?

    • RavenRant

      Perhaps the nice judge will teach him that there are consequences for default. Or maybe the voters in his district will wise up and convey that message.

    • ndisang67

      Can someone fine out if Walsh's kids have had any kind of public assistance?

  • FNMA

    I liked him better in The James Gang.

    • littlebigdaddy

      quick fingers!

    • Flat_Earther

      Funk 49…

      • FNMA

        Walk Away seems kind of appropriate.

    • flamingpdog

      Ashholes, the Pain, and I.

    • poncho_pilot

      The James Gang is possibly the only good thing about Zachariah: An Electric Western.

  • Tommmcatt

    That dude has a head like a breadbox.

    • elviouslyqueer

      He looks like Frankenstein. Only Joe has managed to swallow his nuts.

      • PristineODummy

        I'm sure he would, if he could.

    • chicken_thief

      A stupid, ugly, cheap breadbox.

    • LabRodent

      Whitebread no doubt, not that dark ,unamerican, liberal wheat bread.

      • OneDollarJuana

        Stale white bread, going a little moldy around the edges.

    • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

      We just use the microwave. Maybe he too can heat burritos if you shove them in his mouth.

      • Swampgas_Man

        I'm thinking of shoving them somewhere else. Wouldn't eat them afterward, though.

  • littlebigdaddy

    I never liked him in anything after Rocky Mountain Way.

  • BornInATrailer

    No drivers license? What will happen to his life in the fast lane??

    • prommie

      He'll ride in limos, ride in the back.

      • Doktor Zoom

        He locks the doors in case he's a-taxed.

        • flamingpdog

          He already lost his license and now he don't drive. Sounds like his wife needs a new lawyer.

    • not that Dewey

      He has accountants pay for it all.

  • fuflans

    say it ain't so joe.

    the baggers' lament.

    • PristineODummy

      Seems there's an awful lot of 'bagger joes to whom that lament applies. *cough* Joe Miller *cough*

  • elviouslyqueer

    Joe Walsh.

  • elviouslyqueer

    The rat.

  • fuflans

    and color me shocked.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Has anyone checked to see if the ex is getting food stamps? She might be eligible in her current state of financial distress. That would be icing on this big cupcake.

  • Respitetini

    Goodness, but these Teabaggers are a complicated lot, aren't they? It's like they say one thing, but themselves do another. Whatever shall we believe?!

    • gvvt

      thanks – I couldn't quite get it into words, but I think I understand now.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Got to follow in Sarah's footsteps.

  • ThundercatHo

    Is he planning to have his accountants pay for it all?

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      Yes, but he won't be the same after all he's going to go through.

  • Cicada

    Sounds like his kids are real deadbeats who need to get jobs and become productive members of society.

    Walsh just went Galt on his family to teach them some Randian principles.

  • BlueStateLibel

    "I won’t give one more dollar to those three brats and that bitch ex-wife of mine," passionate Congressman Joe Walsh exclaims in his Youtube video that's a hit with deadbeat deads.

  • Badonkadonkette

    Joe the Deadbeat

    • comrad_darkness

      If he's got three kids he was doing SOME plumbing.

  • fartknocker

    Hypocritical shit stain. Another walking ball sack that can't take responsibility for the children he fathered and yet want's to preach his position on fiscal conservatism.

    Fuck him and that shit eating grin on his face. He's nothing more than a Teatard goat fucker in a 3 piece suit. I pity his children and his former wife for his inaction to support the family he created.

    • LabRodent

      HELL YEAH. I love a good Rant after Lunch. Well Done Fart well done indeed.

      • cheetojeebus

        ball sacks everywhere shrug "what'n me!"

    • BornInATrailer

      Stop beating around the bush. Would you vote for him or not?

  • Barb

    Silly kids and that needing 3 meals a day, demanding little bastards that they are.

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      WHAT!?! I think I left a few steps out during my son's youth.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChurchofRealism

    Family. Fucking. Values.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Limp Bizkit has better Family Values than this turd.

  • Doktor Zoom

    The Party of Personal Responsibility™ strikes again.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      That label is starting to wear a little thin, isn't it?

  • Badonkadonkette

    Actually, he's just emulating our Founding Fathers. Thomas Jefferson never paid Sally Hemmings child support, either.

    • Flat_Earther

      I believe he owned her.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Yeah, but he provided room, board and employment to her kids. Not paid employment, of course, but let's not split hairs – he was still be a better dad than TJ.

      Of course, TJ had nothing on old Ben Franklin, who got his bastard son the governorship of New Jersey.

      • mookwrthwilson

        And the town I went to High School in was named after that bastard…

        • Lionel[redacted]Esq

          Bastard, New Jersey?

          • comrad_darkness

            Aren't all towns in NJ named Bastard?

          • GOPCrusher

            I thought they were called Union Carbide?

        • gvvt

          must have a great fight song

  • Mahousu

    If these Republicans keep losing their drivers' licenses, this is going to wreak havoc with their voter ID plans.

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      True. Walsh won by only 300 votes. That's not very many licenses to get off the roads. Also, there was a Green Party candidate helping him out, so he can't afford to lose a single voter ID.

    • Veritas78

      I believe an APB or a Ten-Most-Wanted poster will suffice for Republican voters. Amber Alerts and Restraining Orders require an additional photo.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    So I got me an office
    Kid's pictures on the wall
    Just leave a message
    Maybe I'll call

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ SpurningBeer

    Child support requirements are a baby tax. We're taxed enough already.

    • DahBoner

      "We're taxed enough already."

      Strange thing is, this "tea" these fellers been drinkin' seems to resemble Purple Kool-Aid…

    • mourningnmerica

      Best.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Not to mention, the rent is too damn high.

    • 102415

      And…. Charlie Sheen is too damn high.

  • mirrorballdc

    Next you're going to tell me he's gay.

    • SexySmurf

      Please, not with that haircut.

      • OneDollarJuana

        That's why he hates gays. They have bad hair.

      • Flat_Earther

        I think the hair is the gay give away.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Sweetie, he's not gay. Just because Aaron Schock was seen leaving his office wiping his mouth does not make him gay.

      I mean, at least using the rules I learned from watching OZ, that is.

    • PristineODummy

      Totally. At least he's got my gaydar fluttering about all twinkle-toed.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Actually, Mr. Walsh should be applauded for thinking about his children. Since he refuses to take care of them and give them any money, it would be immoral to raise the debt ceiling and expect the kids to pay for it.

    Of course, if he could just get rid of child labor laws, the problem would work itself out.

    • Mojopo

      There is a half-muslin guy in the White House (government housing, I might add), in a long-term interracial relationship (with poor children!) and where will this madness end?

      Joe Walsh, on the other hand, is out there everyday representing the interests of fame-whoring Deadbeat Dads across America. He isn't afraid to teach children how to survive without his help. That's courage. If and when his political career ever ends, America will welcome him to their TV sets on a reality program, too. The man leads by example! Word.

  • Nothingisamiss

    Is there a teabagger in his district that will care about this? No, because Joe Walsh is pro-family and against government handouts that will only put a burden on the most productive in society.

    • MissTaken

      And I'm sure a very high percentage of the male teabaggers in his district owe shitloads in back child support themselves.

      Bitch set me up!

    • Jukesgrrl

      They're all busy trying to figure out how they can manage to get $100,000 behind on THEIR child support. You know the rule, it's only a gravy train if the people on it are poor, female, immigrants, and/or people of color.

    • horsedreamer_1

      He's also a job creator, since now his ex will need to get two jobs to support his family.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    Are there no orphanges? No workhouses?

    Actually, there are some Objectivists who think that Scrooge was a pretty good guy, all things considered, at least before those Ghosts got hold of him.
    http://forum.objectivismonline.net/index.php?show

    • Doktor Zoom

      Oh, my. I honestly can't tell if this is sincere, or a parody:

      I happened to see "The Muppet Christmas Carol" a while ago, and that film is indeed a monstrous attack on productivity, and material achievment in general. In a sequence of flashbacks, Scrouge is portrayed as having been exceptionally intelligent and self-motivated from a very young age. In one scene, as I recall, he is (implicitly) criticized for standing up to an irresponsible employer who squanders his firm's wealth on revelry.

      • poncho_pilot

        i'm going with sincere based off of shit i've seen and heard come from objectivists in the past. one almost doesn't need to make jokes about them at all because they really do the job for you. must be what they mean by being "producers".

    • RavenRant

      They also root for Mr. Potter in "It's a Wonderful Life".

    • Nothingisamiss

      Thank you for the link. That people have the entirely reprehensible view that Scrooge is a misunderstood "job creator" is jaw dropping. I especially loved (loathed) the commenter who believes:

      "Scrooge is a caricature, not a person or even a character. He's often
      portrayed as cold, distant, perpetually angry, without an ounce of empathy or sympathy for anyone or anything. His purpose is to accumulate wealth for no reason other than to have more of it. I mean, that's just ridiculous."

      Yeah, I mean, no one is out there just accumulating wealth for no other reason than just to have more of it. That would be unthinkable.

  • CarnyTrash

    Fakest. smile. ever.

    • BornInATrailer

      That is the smile every ventriloquist uses.

      • OneDollarJuana

        So he can make sanctimonious speeches while holding corporate cock in his mouth.

    • CrankyLttlCamperette

      It's just practice for his inevitable mug shot.

    • Negropolis

      That's one'a them authentic shit-eating grins, right there.

  • e_z

    “I won’t place one more dollar of debt upon the backs of my kids and grandkids unless we structurally reform the way this town spends money!”

    Try placeing that 100,000 you owe to your ex wife and family you weasel. Baliffs, haul this sphincter to jail.

    • AJWjr.

      Whack his peepee!

    • PristineODummy

      That statement just oozed so much sanctimonious hypocrisy. Just oozed it.

  • Radiotherapy®

    ♪ ♫ My Maserati does One Eighty Five.
    Bitch took my license, now I don't drive. ♪ ♫

  • DahBoner

    "So is it much surprise that Walsh is accused of serially avoiding paying child support to his ex-wife and three kids to the tune of $117,000?"

    I blame Republican women for this one.

    This think they can just spread their legs, pop out a few babies and then they're set for life, lunching with the ladies and expecting handouts for the little yard apes.

    Why can't they get a job as a lobbiest for the Kock brothers, like all my friends do????

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ SpurningBeer

      I believe the house style favors the idiom "poop out a few babies."

  • Callyson

    Joe and Laura Walsh had been married 15 years when she filed for divorce in December 2002. The thickness of the court file reflects Laura Walsh’s nine years of trying to collect child support and expenses from a man who crusades against compromise. Laura Walsh went to court repeatedly over the past nine years to get him to pay up, sometimes even asking the court to garnish his wages, court records show.
    Garnish! Garnish! Garnish!

    • genxr

      Garnish his celery? Michelle Obama strikes again!

    • flamingpdog

      Don't know this for a fact, but I'd be truly surprised if Congress hasn't already passed legislation to make their paychecks immune to garnishment.

      • comrad_darkness

        "When Coladarci called the congressional payroll office to have them enforce a court order withholding $2,164 from Walsh’s monthly check for child support, the payroll staffer “seemed surprised” and said “tsk, tsk, tsk,” Coladarci said."

    • PristineODummy

      *Nobody* eats *parsley!*

    • Nothingisamiss

      So now I need an answer: Why won't they garnish? Why isn't his ass in jail?

  • Ruhe

    Perfect example of what Republicans mean by "exceptionalism". It's not "something or someone who is particularly good at something". It's "hey, you gotta make an exception for me here judge, cause you know, it's me, Joe."

  • prommie

    Holy shit, its Bill Bradsky!

  • BornInATrailer

    Not paying child support? Please. That witchy woman better take it easy before the judge sees through her lyin' eyes one of these nights. Sure, this freshman may be the new kid in town and unknown, be she's making him out to be some outlaw man.

    And it isn't like they pay the congress critters much any way. His money is probably already gone and he's had to get a Mastercard and take it to the limit.

    Know that you have friends congressman. Try to find a peaceful, easy feeling after today's debt ceiling debate undoubtedly leaves you with heartache tonight.

    Desperado.

    • littlebigdaddy

      Dude, you got a dozen crappy songs stuck in my head. Thanks for nothing!

      • BornInATrailer

        Yeah, it's almost like I just regurgitated the wikipedia Eagles discography page.

        looks around, shifty eyed

    • mourningnmerica

      THAT… was fucking genius.

      • FNMA

        No, THAT … was fucking abusive.

    • Cicada

      So nice, I wish I could upfist you twice.

    • __kth__

      A lot of those cites were from before Walsh joined the Eagles, seems to me.

      • BornInATrailer

        Oh, really? Darn. By all rights, people should withdraw pee points for that.

        • __kth__

          No real aspersion intended, really just trying to sneak in a reference to Walsh's best solo hit. No one else got it either. Here's a live version, no hard feelings.

          • BornInATrailer

            Ha! I didn't even catch that and yes, that is a great song. Full point good sir.

  • lefty74

    Genuine piece of shit. He rolls in it. He plays with his own.
    Fucking deadbeat copropheliac. I unclog my nose at you.
    You are such an ignorant wiper of teabagger asses.

    • littlebigdaddy

      And your mother smelt of elderberries.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    What we have here is an in the closet spender. i've noticed that these "fiscal" fuckers rarely have their personal spending in order. They bitch endlessly about taxes because they want to deflect any criticism about their own out of control personal spending and because they're selfish shits who want to keep what they didn't really earn.

    Why is it that 75% or more of lottery winners end up in worse financial shape than before they won?

    • BlueStateLibel

      Nicely put. I've seen it over and over, the ones who work the least, always complain that "it's" being taken away from them. As for the lottery winners, I think it's mostly because they have big mouths and like to brag. They also think that because they're now rich, they're going to be taxed easy like the big folk, but of course, taxes on gambling winnings are really high.

      • Cicada

        I've been on both ends of the spectrum financially, and I definitely work less at my white-collar job than I ever did at my blue-collar/ no-collar jobs. I suppose I can thank the years I put into my education for that, but there are a lot of white-collar types who got their educations paid for and majored in some cushy area like communications or business. I don't think those people really get how hard people work at shit jobs just to barely survive, so they complain about "lazy" people taking "their" money.

        • valgal2342

          cuz people who win the lottery don't set up trust funds.

        • Jukesgrrl

          Great post, except people who majored in communications don't have cushy jobs anymore. In fact, we don't have jobs, period. Communication isn't something that's currently valued in our society. For an example, see the inadequate output from the White House.

          • Cicada

            The cushy was with regards to the major. I say that only because my major was full of courses like multivariate statistics, mathematical modeling of ecological systems and enzyme kinetics. I was always jealous of communications majors who could do stuff like go out on the weekends. I know people who work in communications don't have cushy jobs. No offense meant!

  • http://thefastertimes.com/absurdnews/ inapewetrust

    need i say it again?

    truly, the GOP is the party of personal responsibility!

    • Doktor Zoom

      You forgot the "™"

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    Teabagger values!
    I got mine and I'm keeping it.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Typical teabagger.

    What a hypocritical motherfucker.

    I hope this bites his ass, big time. Then I can add it to my "the schaden freudes itself" file.
    ~

  • LabRodent

    The Camera's always set on "Asshole" when Republicans take these photos.

  • Wilcoxyz

    Uhhh, there's nothing in the Constitution about women filing lawsuits. He'll have this thrown out on lack of standing.

    • emmelemm

      It doesn't even MENTION women in the Constitution!!!1!!!1

    • PristineODummy

      She shouldn't be standing anyway. That's for men. She should be kneeling at his feet, like a proper submissive wife.

  • fuflans

    these tools are absolutely ideologically bankrupt. they really don't have anything other than 'don't touch my money'.

    shameful.

    • Jukesgrrl

      And they they can't even say, "Please don't touch my money." They're mean bastards, too.

  • Flat_Earther

    "Do you mean fiscal responsibility includes me?" Joe Walsh

  • Flat_Earther

    He can't pay his child support because his taxes are too high.

  • mourningnmerica

    My Maserati does 185
    My wife she sued me
    Now I don't drive.
    It's tough to handle this fortune and fame.
    My kids are starving
    But I have no shame.

    • stew1

      He was too busy partying sometimes until 4.

  • emmelemm

    As the daughter of a dad who was, shall we say, stingy and begrudging at best with the child support he paid, I say this guy is a FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.

    But then you knew that already.

    • Flat_Earther

      Still having some issues?

      • emmelemm

        No, actually, not really. Have a good relationship with my dad. But men who won't support their own children are assholes, especially if it's because they "resent" giving money to their ex-wives. The money's not for the wife, it's for your CHILDREN, dickhead.

        • ChessieNefercat

          Exactly.

    • ThundercatHo

      As the ex-wife of a total asshole who also refused to pay his child support because then he wouldn't have any extra money for "vacations and stuff". He decided to give up his parental rights and any contact with his son rather than pay. Now, 20 yrs. later he stalks his son on Facebook.

      • comrad_darkness

        Oh, that's fucked. There is always a name change option when the kid moves on. Judges are pretty easy about that.

        • ThundercatHo

          My son legally changed his name as soon as he turned 18. He wanted the same last name as my husband who was his "real" dad. I added up all the lost revenue once and decided it was worth it not to have to deal with that pos for all those years. Would have been nice to have had it during the lean years though.

    • Doktor Zoom

      As an asshole who doesn't pay child support, I ….

      wait, that's not right.

      • AJWjr.

        I never had any kids of my own, but I sure contributed to the raising of many others, and have zilch to show for it. Doin' it rong, as always.

        • ChessieNefercat

          No, you must be doing something right. Having a mirror that isn't a horror to look into must count for something.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        I only pay child support in the form of school property taxes, which some would think is unfair to me, being unburdened with any children of my own with which to leech off the system. However, I figure it's a small price to pay, I don't want to be completely surrounded by uneducated morons, at least not any more than I have to suffer already living here in deepest, darkest Texas.

        • finallyhappy

          I tell people that school taxes are important(I do some political volunteering- ok, a lot) because even w/o your own kids, the schools are educating those will run our country in the future. Of course, in the case of Texas schools, you are wasting your money.

  • LouBristol

    Times are tough for everyone, y'know how much those teeth cost?

  • bureaucrap

    In his defense, he said "Look, wife and kids are all able-bodied. Wife can work at a computer factory, my nine year old girl can sew buttons in a sweatshop, the seven year old boy can work in an iron mill, the two year old girl can pick up trash. Of course, they'll all have to move to Shanghai to get those jobs, but it's not like they're left high and dry. If they can work, they should work."

    • FNMA

      "What the fuck do they want? I gave them bootstraps for Christmas."

    • ChessieNefercat

      If the fucking teabagging weasels get their way, those will be standard American jobs.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Yo, Joe, Easter Island called and wants its head back.

  • Geminisunmars

    How is he supposed to be a job-creator if he has to pay those baby taxes?

    • poncho_pilot

      i think it's like hot food versus cold food. hot is taxed. cold is not. you have to pay for warm babies.

  • mourningnmerica

    I hope no one proffers up this idea, as it would be immoral.

    "The only solution I can see is for someone to just beat the fuck out of this guy. Put him in the fucking hospital."

    • http://oliphantparts.org/ natoslug

      "…in the fucking hospital." And under Chris Christie. Then we can see if the weight of Big Government can squeeze some fiscal responsibility out of him.

    • ThundercatHo

      Yes, it would be such a shame if someone were to kick his nuts repeatedly with a pair of steel-toed boots, maybe with xtian punk playing in the background.

    • RavenRant

      As esteemed former president Richard Nixon once said, "We could do that, but it would be wrong."

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Seems to me,
    I dont want to talk about it.
    Seems to me,
    I just turn my pockets out and walk away.

  • CrankyLttlCamperette

    Well, you gotta admit, dude is consistent. He wants to kill off all those programs that give money to women and children — why would he treat family differently?

    Screwing the poor starts at home!

    • poncho_pilot

      just ask the Governator…

      • Negropolis

        He said the poor, not the woefully ugly.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Screeching famewhore Joe Walsh is deadbeat sperm donor Joe Walsh. He's got three kids–that he knows about.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Look, the man's busy. He's got seven women on his mind. Four want to own him, two want to stone him, and one is apparently blind.

    • BornInATrailer

      ♪♫ It's an old white cooter in a straining scooter slowin' down to wave her cane at me…♫♪

      • Doktor Zoom

        Take it Sleazy, take it sleazy,
        Don't let your former wife and kids make you uneasy

    • Nostrildamus

      After this post, I'm pretty sure there are more than two who want to stone him.

  • Limeylizzie

    I loathe this bastard ever since I learned he doesn't list his first wife on his Wiki page, what a screaming dirtbag. Also, he is sort of handsome and I just know he is a womaniser.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Yeah, looks like one of those. Lots of women would probably go for that, but he's obviously an asshole. Why do women fall for assholes over and over, then complain about what assholes men are? Got a gal in my vanpool that seems to do this again and again. Yo, baby, all men aren't assholes, just the ones that you seem to be attracted to; what does that tell you about yourself? Sigh. Nice guys finish last.

      • Limeylizzie

        Oh darling, I always have loved the nice guys, I think I was probably the bad girl/asshole in my youth.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

          You have certainly corrupted me in directions I never intended to comment!

          • Limeylizzie

            Hi Chetkincaid….purrs

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

            A non-partisan thrill just went up my leg…

          • Limeylizzie

            That was my left hand.

        • BaldarTFlagass

          I dated the gal that cuts my hair a couple years back; her friend told me it wouldn't work out because she liked the "bad boyz." I asked her about that, and she admitted it was true (hence the four divorces). I said, "Well, we're both nearing 50, most of the Bad Boyz our age are dead or in jail by now. How bout an ex-Bad Boy, I was a bit rough back in the day." From then on, I'd call her and tell her "I'm going 40 mph, and the speed limit's 35!" or "I'm in the 10-item express lane at the grocery, and I've got 13 items!!" She got a kick out of that. She ended up jumping the fence and dumping me for a lesbian millionaire heiress, can't say I blame her although it's kind of unmanning. She still cuts my hair, though, no hard feelings.

          • Tundra Grifter

            I wouldn't let her give you a shave. Anywhere.

          • jus_wonderin

            BTF, that is funny. Love the "faux bad boy" routine. Hilarious slant. Sorry bout the dumping though.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            Hell, no big deal, I'd probably be ex-husband number 5 by now.

      • Guppy06

        "Why do women fall for assholes over and over, then complain about what assholes men are?"

        Because "nice" and "safe" are synonyms for "boring."

      • ChessieNefercat

        It took me twenty years to leave my asshole, but by God, I never went back, and never went near another guy until I got used to not tiptoeing around land mines, and started feeling good about myself. I figured that then if I was around a Bad one, it would not feel right.

        Male or female, if you get out of a bad situation and don't take time to think about what went wrong, you will find that Familiar feels Good and feels Right, and you are off to the races again.

    • poncho_pilot

      he looks like someone who'd sell you a car that'd crap out the moment you got it on the road.

    • AJWjr.

      I called him a smarmy cunt the other day, before I knew he was a deadbeat dad. Now he's a smarmy dozy cunt. Whatever dozy means…

      • Limeylizzie

        Just means stupid really.

      • Limeylizzie

        My beloved Granny who was from near Manchester used to use the wonderful term 'Dozy Ayporth"

        • BaldarTFlagass

          I just watched a show about a Mankie named Dominic Noonan, gay gangster. Manchester looks like pretty much a darky dingy shithole. Hope your granny doesn't live that near.

        • AJWjr.

          Whoa,whoa,whoa–no point going all numismatist on us! Next thing, you'll be saying we're all gormless as well!

  • chicken_thief

    The bitch had plenty of time to fuck John Ensign before he "retired". $100k is about his going price for payoffs.

  • BornInATrailer

    In 2010, he beat several Republican primary opponents, including and coming in second…

    Dirk Beveridge

    What a fantastic name. Frankly, I surprised a guy named Dirk Beveridge could even lose an election.

    • Limeylizzie

      Epic.

    • FNMA

      Is Dirk Beveridge his porn name?

    • Jukesgrrl

      The voters don't like ascots.

  • OneYieldRegular

    These Teabagger stories just write themselves, don't they?

  • mourningnmerica

    I did some checking, and this guys morals are right at the 50th percentile among elected Tea Party officials.

  • LiveToServeYa

    Isn't tarring and feathering in the Constitution?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Just an ordinary, average guy.

  • Flat_Earther

    He has shirked his legal obligations. Why is he still in Congress? Where is the Republican cry for his removal?

    • MissTaken

      I think this qualifies for a GOP promotion to Committee Chair

      • Flat_Earther

        You are probably right.

    • Jukesgrrl

      He's a white, male Republican. He doesn't have legal responsibilities, he only has legal privileges.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Bingo! That deserves a million upfists or two.

  • http://livebythefoma.blogspot.com Pop_Socket

    A Republican is a hypocrite? Do tell.

  • BornInATrailer

    Oh.. look how many votes this pos won by…

    Thanks again, Green Party.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/timo3k Timo3K

    I live in this blowhard's district. He won the election by, like, two votes, and immediately started talking about his "mandate". Looking at him makes me want to collect $100,000 from him for my kid, too.

  • mumbly_joe

    He doesn't want the government saddling his children and grandchildren with onerous debt; he's doing a good enough job of that on his own, after all.

    • poncho_pilot

      privatization wins again!

  • Papa_Uniform

    "In three short years, you've bankrupted this country". No wonder he's behind on his child support. Fucker can't count.

  • Doktor Zoom

    A family is a lot like the Hotel California: You can check out any time you like, but you have to pay your fucking bill.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Life must be good when you think half the world is your cookie jar and the other half is your ashtray. Until you find out that's not true, of course.

  • DashboardBuddha

    You'd think that with all the money he saved by fucking over his kids he could afford a comb.

  • valgal2342

    My Maserati does 185, I lost my license
    Now I don't drive…..

  • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

    Joe the Fucker. Since the Chicago Sun-Times is reporting this, how long until Wingtards claim it's the "librul pro-Obummer thugs" trying to bring the Tea Party down?

    • valgal2342

      uh…..we are trying to take them down aren't we? Did I miss a memo? I thought we were in some kind of Revolutionary thingy….Tea Baggers are the red coats and librul pro-Obummer thugs are the blue coats and we're on our way to open up a can of whop ass at Yorktown…aren't we?

  • James Michael Curley

    Glad ex-Laura and her Lawyer have a sence of humor and history. For those who, unlike me, aren't older than dirt; here is the story of Joeseph Welsh who took down Senator Joseph McCarthy. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Welch

    • Doktor Zoom

      Unfortunately, it was Mr. Walsh who unironically quoted the decent guy.

      (Walsh, trying to welsh, echoes Welch?)

      • James Michael Curley

        (Walsh, trying to welsh, echoes Welch?)Gotta remember that one.

      • ShaveTheWhales

        Joe Welsher, so's not to confuze with the other JW?

        • Doktor Zoom

          A a person of 1/8 Welsh ancestry, I give you permission to apply that ethnic slur to this douchecanoe.

          Or at least 1/8 permission.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Just another example of the Government overstepping it's authority to tell us what to do with our money.

  • Beowoof

    Typical Conservative trying to keep every dime for himself.

  • Rosie_Scenario

    The three kids are not job creators. Case closed.

  • BabsGabs

    JOE WALSH'S LATEST CAMPAIGN POSTER…
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/37566903@N02/5984746

  • Guppy06

    "Joe Walsh asks his ex-wife’s lawyer: “Have you no decency?”"

    Have you no condoms?

  • Radiotherapy®

    Paging Gloria Allred

    • finallyhappy

      I will be repeating this for years(anytime her name or Rev wright comes up- like yesterday). Gloria Allred went to my high school where Jeremiah Wright's mother was one of our vice principals. Gloria is older than me so I am not sure she and Dr. Wright(mom- not the Rev) were at Girls High at the same time.

  • Pragmatist2

    He offered them cuts in their food, heat and medicine. But they were liberals and wanted revenue increases as well. They think that just because you owe the money, you have to actually come up with it.
    Silly Liberals.

  • Indiepalin

    He has accountants pay for it all.

  • Major Thom

    You can find this exact same asshole in every new car dealership.

  • SayItWithWookies

    When I read that story I thought Joe Walsh was a prick and a hypocrite. But after a little more reading, it became clear that he's much, much worse than that:

    In 2009, Walsh lost a condo to foreclosure because he owed more than $300,000 on the property. In April 2010, an investigation revealed that Walsh failed to file his personal financial disclosure form as required by federal election law. When questions about his personal finances dogged his congressional campaign, Walsh once again claimed he wasn’t a rich man, despite managing to pay $3,300 per month for a house in upscale Winnetka.

    Walsh also rejected the congressional health insurance plan for his family on principle, much to the chagrin of his current wife, Helene, who had a preexisting condition and needed surgery while the couple was uninsured.

    • Cicada

      Holy crap. He's like a superhero who got bit by a radioactive douche canoe, granting him unprecedented powers of douchery.

    • emmelemm

      WHAT THE HELL? Seriously, there's no punishment worthy of this guy. Hmm… drawing and quartering. Yeah, drawing and quartering, that's the ticket.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      much to the chagrin of his current wife, Helene, who had a preexisting condition and needed surgery while the couple was uninsured.

      "Well honey, I married you for you, not for your pre-existing condition. Send me a text when you get out of the hospital; me and Newt are headed down to Dingleberries, where swinging singles mingle."

    • Jukesgrrl

      If he's been this much of an asshole for so long, WHY didn't the media scream it from the rooftops BEFORE the election? Do we even have a fourth estate anymore?

      • Negropolis

        No. We sold it to the job creators.

  • zappadoo76

    Every one of his kids should get out there and peddle the ass God gave him. No excuses.

  • Tundra Grifter

    "Have you no decency?"

    "Nope."

  • BklynIlluminati

    Children you need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps! Because Daddy's alcohol/drugs/whores ain't going to get paid by themselves! Now fetch the paper Daddy needs to figure out how to manipulate the stock market some more.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Letting his ex-wife and children live in poverty will teach them all a valuable lesson.

    • genxr

      Why do they want to punish him for his success?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Yeah — Daddy's a prick. Enjoy those ten scratch-off tickets for Christmas, kids.

  • genxr

    I urge the court to strike down this job-killing wife and kids.

  • BabsGabs

    JOE WALSH'S NEW CAMPAIGN SLOGAN…

    NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND (except mine)!

  • Doktor Zoom

    Somebody needs to introduce a bill to garnish this fucker's congressional salary. Barney Frank, maybe, as a way of highlighting the perils of allowing straight people to marry…

    (Alan Grayson would have done it already…)

  • DaSandman

    Hey I just noticed…what happened to the downfist?

    Oh and by the by, you stinking bagger, I paid for my kids. Time to step behind the barn bitch

  • crybabyboehner

    He is doing those kids a favor, and they will certainly thank him when they grow up.

    No?

  • widestanceroman

    Well, that's white of him, isn't it now?

  • PalinPussyPower

    I normally like a man with an overbite and some salt and pepper going on upstairs, but I would not hit that. I would not.

    • ThundercatHo

      See, I would hit it, with my truck.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Oh, I'd definitely hit it. With a shovel. Hard. And repeatedly.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    I'm sure he'll claim that he can't pay child support because his taxes are too high…

  • Redhead

    Hold up. THAT guy got laid – THREE TIMES?

  • BornInATrailer

    I haven't seen a father screw his kids this shamefully since John Philips.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      hahahaha

      or Josef Fritzl

    • Negropolis

      W I N !

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I'm sure his family values are exemplary. It's the ex-family values that he needs to work on.

  • Doktor Zoom

    OT: TMBG, NPR, ZOMG!!!!!!!! (ROFLMAO, Kthxbai!)

    • Rotundo_

      Thanks! I *really* needed that. Good tunes too, they still are a hoot!

  • Guppy06

    So… Democrats…

    Where was this information last year?

  • DustBowlBlues

    Wow. Thanks, Kristen. Hearing this is like having a dark rain cloud pushing the sun out of the way for a few minutes. In the bone-dry hellscape that is the Dust Bowl, it's welcome, indeed.

    BTW–I have to sign in every time I go to "my" wonket. And there are no more thumbs down choices (which I only use for trolls, anyway). Am I the only one whose wonkette is being protected from hackers by Intense Debate?

    • AJWjr.

      No signing on here, thankfully–I'm an old and forget my passwords easily. I've done better since re-setting them all to ******, though.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      No, there ain't no more thumbsdown for anybody anymore.

      Also, if you have to sign in every time, it sounds like your cookies are being cleared out whenever you go away.

      • jus_wonderin

        Cookies!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • 102415

      Where!

  • MissTaken

    Gawd people, it's not like the wife was battling cancer when they divorced. Can't she just go get a job like the rest of Real America and quit expecting the MAN to take care of her?

    That's what you get for not keeping your legs crossed, ladies.

    • 102415

      And being drunk and married to a Republican.

  • DustBowlBlues

    OT: MSNBC reports that Teabagglican House of Rep fave and presidential candidate, Thad McWho? has endorsed Boner's plan. Fuck, I wish some of the 'Baggers would stick to their 2nd. Amendment protected guns.

  • comrad_darkness

    SOOO good with money, this teabagger. I say the scooter ridden idiots who elected this fucker promote him to Senator where he can fuck over the country even more. Come on, he's such a stunning piece of work. Why not go full countrycide?

    "In addition to the foreclosure on his condominium, Walsh was haunted during his campaign by disclosures of liens on his property from unpaid bills and staffers abandoning his campaign, saying he wasn’t paying them.

    Keith Liscio, who said Walsh hired him to be campaign manager — Walsh disputes that — has sued Walsh for $20,000 in salary he said Walsh owes him. Both sides are trying to settle that case."

    • Doktor Zoom

      Those who can be fiscally responsible go into business. Those who can't, run for office as Republicans.

  • x111e7thst

    Has the undocumented immigrant who does his yard work come forward yet? The rentboy who carries what he calls his "luggage" and everyone else refers to as "that poor wee thing of yours"?

  • Nostrildamus

    Wife sounds kinda Musliny.

  • Fox n Fiends

    Every "Libertarian" I've ever met is just like this guy.

  • not that Dewey

    In his defense, he claimed "I have had financial troubles and I talked about them throughout the campaign. This is where real America is."

    So, he just accused the rest of Teabagging America of being deadbeats, too? Will they notice?

  • owhatever

    And he opposes abortion so he can have more kids that he will not support. Teabaggers will cheer.

  • ThundercatHo

    Just amused myself a little contacting Joe and sending him a little msg. I hope he takes Mr. Mike Hunt's advice to heart.

  • orygoon

    Jesus God. This is what to expect from the "Daddy Party".

  • PuckStopsHere

    Sometimes, you love your country so much, you can't pay child support.

  • glamourdammerung

    Off topic, but another in triumph of "personal responsibility" a certain Widdle Andy Breitbart that was so going on and on about how eager they were to go to trial with Shirley Sherrod failed in his two more attempts to get the case thrown out.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Yipee. But I hope they're not trying the case in Florida.

    • 102415

      Good news.

  • __kth__

    Add "deadbeat dad" to the IOKIYAR file, which ought to be a database by now.

  • Mojopo

    I've been waiting all day for your take-down and you didn't disappoint, Wonkette. I love you harder than ever.

  • MinAgain

    What a douchebag.

  • Buckminster

    What a perfect poster-boy for this brain-dead, morally bankrupt Tea Party movement! I hope the lawyers nail him to the cross for this!

  • Walkinwiddaking

    This from his lawyer, "“Joe Walsh hasn’t been a big-time wage-earner politician until recently.." Knowing that I'm sure I'll sleep more soundly tonight.

    • comrad_darkness

      In other words, until he took on a socialist (re: gov) salary, he was incapable of locating his own bootstraps.

  • rocktonsam

    Gingrinch/Walsh 2012

    FAMILY VALUES ROCK!

  • ChessieNefercat

    Roast in hell, Joe, you loathsome lying thieving bad father republican* deadbeat weasel.

    *republican = general epithet.

  • ttommyunger

    I love the smell of Hypocrisy in the morning….It smells like……Tea.

  • unclejeems

    Representative Dickhead (R-IL, or rather ill) won that seat in Illinois 9 by two-tenths of one percent in the 2010. He'd run back in 96 for the US House, and again in 98 for a state house district. The first time he was clobbered by long-time incumbent Sidney Yates–two to one. In 98, he lost again. All our boy could come up with was 14 thousand votes in that barn-burner–32% of the total.

    Looks to me like Joe-boy's a one-term flash-in-the-pan in an otherwise Democratic district. So in a few months, buh-bye, Joe. That is, if the judge doesn't get you first.

  • Negropolis

    Screeching famewhore

    Hey, now. Don't talk about Lady Gaga like that.

    But seriously, what bothers me about Walsh isn't just his whoredom, but that's he's dumb as a box of rocks. When you're as dumb as he is, there is no legitimate reason to be so smug.

    I kind of wish his opponent's opposition research team would have exposed this. I'm sure they had to know about it.

  • lloydstool

    Hey look suspiciously like "The Farting Preacher."

  • magginkat

    Post card on the way to:
    Deadbeat Dad Joe Walsh
    432 Cannon HOB
    Washington, DC 20515
    Phone: (202) 225-3711
    Fax: (202) 225-7830

  • ndisang67

    with bills like that, can't blame Joe for wanting the DC job that bad…after he is kicked out next yr, he becomes a lobbyists..wala!! big pay day….don't worry Mrs Walsh, papa Joe is about to hit gold…

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I need to stop being so obvious. Ah well, at least I've got another assignation with The Way Too Young Chick coming up in September…

  • Doktor Zoom

    Dirty Old Men all over the internet applaud you.

  • HistoriCat

    Hey – I spent years in a dry spell!

    You just learn to recognize the echo of things you've said yourself.
    Now all you have to do is survive the heat of August to get to the heat of September. (Insert bom chicka wow wow music)

  • BaldarTFlagass

    *bows right, bows left, bows center*

    "I'd like to thank the young lady for having the daddy issues that made this all possible, and a big tip of the hat to Pfizer Pharmaceutical for the chemical assist."

  • jus_wonderin

    I agree. I paid for the 14 or so, then paid for her college and paid for her car. Fuck, maybe I am a doormat, not sure, but it had to be done and it was the fucking right thing to do.

    This piece of shit makes me want to strangle him. If my rage is not showing I will try harder. I really, really want to fly to this guys office and give him a piece of my…two by four.

  • ChessieNefercat

    "…it was the fucking right thing to do."

    And isn't that all any parent needs to know to do something, really? A real parent I mean, not a jerk like Joe.