bureaucracy fail

Wisconsin Voter ID Law Basically a Huge Pain For Everyone Without ID

this booth for white, paying voters only.Can you solve a Rubix cube? Do you know how to count backwards from 100 by intervals of 8? Can you name the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? No? (Conquest, War, Death and Famine). Okay! Time to start practicing, Wisconsin voters. If you are headed to the DMV to apply for your free state voter ID, you should expect to answer a few riddles before the state just starts “handing out” these cards to any old person for free. Scott Walker wants all of you to WORK FOR SOMETHING FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, YOU FREELOADERS. Or, you could always pay the state the $28 fee for your ID like an actual landowning capitalist patriot, but who can afford it. Riddles it is! So let’s see, how does a Wisconsin voter navigate the DMV office to obtain a voter ID? Oh look, this nice lady made an undercover video instruction manual! Let’s watch: 

The salient point of this video is that the Wisconsin DMV is not obligated, and in fact it is not their policy, to first inform a voter ID applicant that he or she is not obligated to pay the $28 fee for issuing the card. The applicant must know to first request a free card, and then find a small box on the form asking for the free card. Otherwise, the applicant is automatically charged $28 for the state ID. To the small minded, that sort of sounds like a poll tax!

Oh and also they get to look through your bank account statement and determine whether you are too poor to vote, no voting if you are homeless and don’t have an address, etc etc.

AFL-CIO estimates there are roughly 300,000 eligible voters in Wisconsin without driver’s licenses or state-issued photo IDs who are mostly minority, elderly and students, so all of these people get to wade into a DMV office full of annoyed bureaucrats who get to test them on their ability to figure out their “free cards” are not free unless they ask for them to be free, even though “there were more UFO sightings (40) in Wisconsin in 2008 than reports of improper voting (14) out of the 3 million votes cast in the 2008 election.” Good use of state resources. [BRAD BLOG/ Youtube]

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    1. TanzbodenKoenig

      What is your name?
      What is your place of residence
      What is your favorite color?

      If the answer to number three is anything other than "Pure, unblemished white and proud of it" then no ID for you

      1. horsedreamer_1

        "Pure, unblemished white", you say?

        The heavily-hairsprayed kid from my tenth grade English class just got a stiffy. (He shares his name with a stand-up comedian, too. To narrow it down for ye.)

    2. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      1) Scott Walker: Great Governor, or Greatest Governor?

      2) Are brown people trying to impose Socialism/Sharia Law in our state?

      3) Is it possible to raise taxes without worshiping the devil?

    3. GOPCrusher

      1) What is your name?
      2) Where do you live?
      3) What is the air speed of an African swallow?

  1. Pragmatist2

    In my ideal world, this snags more of the idiots in the Tea Party than the idiots in the Democratic Party.

  2. riverside68

    make it simple: if your credit score is below 600 – U NO VOTO!

    Short form: no credit card=no vote

    Revenue raising idea: sell the franchise to American Express: no Amex-no vote

    Want to vote for a Senator? Get a Gold Card

  3. SarahsBush

    I think Walker just knows he can get away with it. I mean, I'd gladly cough up $28 to vote that Kochsucker out.

    1. BlueMonkeh

      I think my illiterate roofer would make better voting choices than the suburban dipshits that actually live around me and own property and have bank accounts.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      More like "None shall pass."

      And when Walker's recalled, he'll insist it's only a flesh wound.

    1. elviouslyqueer

      Seriously. Also, congratulations and THANKS Scott Walker for making my state look downright progressive!

          1. Doktor Zoom

            Yup. Idaho (Mississippi on the Snake River) also has this stupid ID requirement.

            But we do have two parties–Right-wing Republicans and Extreme Right-wing Republicans.

        1. Chet Kincaid

          "Between 1890 and 1910, ten of the former eleven Confederate states – starting with Mississippi – passed new constitutions or amendments that effectively disfranchised most blacks and tens of thousands of poor whites through a combination of poll taxes, literacy and comprehension tests, and residency and record-keeping requirements."

      1. Gomez571

        They are talking about it here also. What Obama needs to do is send everyone in the blue districts a voucher that can be redeemed for $28.00 at Taco Bell, Churches or Piccadilly, but only with a State ID. Is it racist to assume old people eat at Piccadilly?

    2. BlueMonkeh

      You know, us residents on the "good" side of the MO river refer to Council Bluffs, IA as "Counciltucky" – could it be Madissippi now in WI?

  4. prommie

    The Four Horsemen, that was Leahy, Strudler, Crowley, and shit, I can't remember the fourth. No googling, I promise, thats my best.

    But seriously, war is different from conquest? And death, isn't that part of all of the other three, as well? What a fucked up list, its all the same thing, really.

    1. BlueMonkeh

      to me, conquest = sexytime, but that's just me and i would never presuppose that war and conquest should be mutually exclusive.

    2. Doktor Zoom

      I'll admit to wiki-ing to find the Terry Pratchett / Neil Gaiman version of the Four Horsepersons in Good Omens. In their take, it's War (a hottie with an arsenal), Famine (a food industry magnate who sells stuff that simultaneously causes obesity and starvation), Pollution (a replacement for Pestilence, who retired in 1936, "muttering about penicillin"), and Death, who has glowing blue eye-sockets and SPEAKS IN ALL CAPS, as you'd expect.

      1. MissusBarry

        I'm due for a re-read of that gem. When I randomly picked it up at 14, I certainly had no idea how prescient it was.

    3. poorgradstudent

      I don't even remember where I got this version of the list, but it goes War, Famine, Pestilence, and Disaster, which I like because it really does cover most of the things that kill tons of people.

    4. Tommmcatt

      The real four horseman are:

      Paris Hilton (Pestilence)
      Maria Shriver Swarzenegger (Famine)
      Donald Fucking Rumsfeld (War)
      Orly Taitz (Stupidity)

      Apocalypse coming as soon as this gyre gets wide enough…

    5. comrad_darkness

      Miller. And it's Stuhldreher you Americanizing bastard.

      Why do I know this? I hate ND. Actually, check that, I loath the fans I grew up with, the team is meh, really, especially recently. More of a charity affair, really.

  5. Goonemeritus

    So if you overcome all these obstacles you only need stare down the crushing indifference brought on by the left telling you that they’re all Republican anyhow. “Fuck you guys I’m going home”

    1. BlueMonkeh

      Dammit…I just had that conversation with one of my friends in an email this morning.

      To say that they're all the same is just fucking crazy.

    2. Respitetini

      No, we're not saying they're all Republicans. We're just saying they all vote like Republicans.

      But yes, there's a difference. Some of these legislators have a little (R) after their name. Some have a little (D). So, hooray Team (D)!

  6. Captain_Quark

    This fits perfectly with the Republican notion of the state. It's basically a means for fucking over poor people. I'm surprised there isn't a special "nigger fee" that the state charges for the inconvenience of processing an application filled out by one of those unsavory dark people.

    It's high time Canada invaded to liberate the suffering people of Wisconsin.

  7. Oblios_Cap

    WTF? Your bank account has to show activity? I don't even recieve a paper statement.
    What a crock o' shit.

    1. elviouslyqueer

      I didn't get that part either. WTF business is it of the state to know what is my goddamn bank balance? And what about the people who don't have bank accounts?

      1. DaRooster

        They already know… and as for no paper statement… you WILL buy paper from GP… and like it.

  8. arihaya

    Wisconsin Voter ID Law Basically a Huge Pain For Everyone Without ID

    translation in Plain English: Wisconsin voter ID law basically a huge pain for everyone who isn't either an obscenely rich bastard or a shameless Koch-sucker

    1. comrad_darkness

      The rich, turns out, don't vote. This one vote one person shit is for the prolls. Money is how you get things done.

  9. BaldarTFlagass

    there were more UFO sightings (40) in Wisconsin in 2008 than reports of improper voting (14)

    They're just trying to suppress the alien vote.

  10. Laughitoff22

    Can't these people just send their butlers or maids to do all of this for them? Waiting in lines is so plebeian…

  11. Tundra Grifter

    I read that list of documents required to get the voter/state ID card.

    Looks to me like all you need to obtain ID is ID. And the twenty-eight bucks, of course, if you don't check the right box.

    Cue "Poll Tax' by Tom Lehrer.

  12. BaldarTFlagass

    WHAT… is your name?
    WHAT… is your skin color?
    WHAT… is your party affiliation?

  13. fuflans

    i bought francis my darling mini cooper* in WI and now i am very sorry i didn't give those revenues to the obscenely corrupt state of IL.

    * yes i know it is very uncool to name a car but that is just the way i roll.

    1. BlueMonkeh

      hellz no – my Mini is named Beep Boop and I love her to death

      how could you not name a Mini?


        1. Lascauxcaveman

          Whom he secretly calls "Gayle," and has slow-mo, soft-focus dreams about washing the hood and fenders…

    2. SarahsBush

      Naming my car was how I was introduced to this whole "being ironic and lame is cool" concept. I once had a Ford Escort wagon — not cool. I proudly named it Gertrude, and suddenly everyone wanted to get in her back seat, if you know I mean.

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        My ancient, fading grey Camry is named "Auntie Camry," but we usually just call her Auntie.

    3. Doktor Zoom

      It's OK to name a car. Just ask my 1973 Impala, Vlad. (Or its predecessor, the 1980 Datsun that leaked oil–The Nissan Valdez)

    4. elviouslyqueer

      We've always named our cars. The best was our 18-year-old shit brown Ford F-150 that had about 2 million miles on it, required a burnt offering in order to start up, and broke down every five minutes. We called it "Big Bertha," which seemed entirely appropriate, especially when we finally sold it to the lesbians across the street.

    5. CalamityJames

      Wait…you fuckers have cars? Ummm, isn't there some "job creators" only website that you guys should be visiting?

    6. MissusBarry

      Current black Civic: Errol (a la Flynn…pirate wanderlust, but without the raping and pillaging)

      Previous black Civic: Elani, Queen of Afghanistan (named for a song by The Big Wu, a jam band oddly enough from Wisconsin). Sadly, she was stolen a year ago this weekend at 10 years of age and 200k miles and stripped. Rest in peace, my dear Elani.

      1. fuflans

        i had a 1990 civic (red) who went by the names of 'wheels of satan' and then – when she was on her last legs – the butthead.

        i would have replaced her with another civic but i feel in love with the mini and i had an actual job at that time.

          1. MissusBarry

            Designated Driver Dane would possibly be the greatest thing ever. You know, since I'm not an Ohioan pro-lifer.

      2. tessiee

        My Mazda, Maizie, was the first car I ever bought new. I had her almost 20 years to the day when she was stolen out of a parking lot.

        That car was TWO DAYS FROM RETIREMENT!!

    7. emmelemm

      I had a record of Marilyn Monroe recordings (songs from various movies, etc.) and it had audio of a couple of commercials she had starred in way back when.

      One of them was for motor oil and her line was, "Put Royal Triton in Cynthia's little tummy!" I always remember that because it's so random.

    8. glamourdammerung

      I am not getting a Mini this year because of BMW's practices towards their employees, but my cars tend to have names as well.

    9. tessiee

      "i know it is very uncool to name a car"

      Naming a car is just fine, but wouldn't you name a mini-Cooper Gary?

  14. freakishlywrong

    Isn't there a federal agency or something that can weigh in on this nonsense? Like the Wisco National Guard?

    1. GOPCrusher

      I know. If we only had a Department Of Justice in this country. I believe they used to be responsible for investigating election issues.

  15. donner_froh

    This is so fucking stupid–"Show me your "proof of Wisconsin residency" so I can give you a card that proves you are a Wisconsin resident.

    Like the videographer I don't blame the clerk–its his job to ask dumb questions and enforce even dumber rules.

    1. zhubajie

      If he didn't ask the dumb questions, he might well end up in the homeless shelter himself.

  16. SayItWithWookies

    Hey, they're just trying to save the Supreme Court the trouble of invalidating another presidential election.

    1. GOPCrusher

      I find it more interesting that they are trying to implement this before the Senate and Scott Walker's recall elections.

  17. Lucidamente1

    "1. The right of citizens of the United States to vote in any primary or other election for President or Vice President, for electors for President or Vice President, or for Senator or Representative in Congress, shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or any State by reason of failure to pay any poll tax or other tax.

    "2. The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation."

    1. Steverino247

      3. Any person acting to violate this provision shall have the living shit slapped out of them.

    1. fuflans

      this is what i was wondering.

      and i was hoping one of this erudite community would weigh in.

  18. MinAgain

    Can you name the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? No? (Conquest, War, Death and Famine).

    Who does Pestilence have to blow to get some respect around here?

    1. V572 Hair of Destiny

      And what's the difference between War and Conquest? Maybe it's this: when it's a Bush 43 war, there is no conquest. The war just goes on and on and on.

    2. ShaveTheWhales

      I was wondering what happened to Pestilence, too, but then I realized they've got Walker, after all.

      1. Negropolis

        Clinton is a veritable genie, that guy. You rub him right, and you get anything you ask for.

  19. V572 Hair of Destiny

    Ah, the riddle of the DMV Sphynx. But if Oedipus answers it, the plague on Thebes Fond du Lac will be lifted. However, there will other consequences.

  20. mormos

    92,84,76,68, etc.
    and it's PESTILENCE, war, death, and famine.

    can i vote this asshole out of office now?

  21. Monsieur_Grumpe

    I noticed that towards the end the mother left in the phone number the guy stated for his suspervisor. I guessing that the super' s phone is really busy now.

  22. Ducksworthy

    Lets just declare Wisconsin a corpocracy and call it a day. Only corporations should be allowed to vote.

  23. widestanceroman

    So, even if I bring the severed head of Medusa, I still have to pay the $28? And even then, I'll have to battle sword-wielding skeletons?

    I mean, these are perfectly reasonable demands, but the stop action is a real time-killer.

  24. Lucidamente1

    "What… is your name?
    "It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons.
    "What… is your quest?
    "To seek the Holy Grail.
    "What… is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
    "What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
    "Huh? I… I don't know that."

  25. Oblios_Cap

    Soon we will all have to show our papers whenever we go out of the house. For security, of course.

    1. AJWjr.

      That's the easy part–if you get mugged outside, you can't produce your papers to get back home!

  26. Rosie_Scenario

    Young Karl Rove was very upfront about Repug strategy — way back when he was interviewed by Dan Rather. Video exists. Karl advised college GOP groups to put student gov't election spots in out of the way places on campus and not to publicize. This way only those "in the know" would come out and vote. Ergo, the "right" people would be elected.

  27. Weenus299

    They're pulling this nonsense in South Carolina too. A lot of real American citizens here do not have birth certificates because they were born by midwife or just flat born without any hospital registration involved. These are legitimate American citizens who have to do a whole lot of horseshit just to get an ex post facto birth certificate from vital stats. It has that silly thing with discouraging the vote. And only discouraging the vote. Which is fucking evil to me.

    1. emmelemm

      It IS against the law. But a lot of things are against the law, and the law only gets selectively enforced.

      /this week is REALLY sucking

  28. Papa_Uniform

    In related news: Eric Holder, Attorney General of the United States, when asked about the requirement for a voter ID card in Wisconsin said, "Huh?".

    1. horsedreamer_1

      He took all the wrong lessons from the Right-wing Noise Machine's slander of Janet Reno.

      1. GOPCrusher

        If Janet Reno was in charge, right now the ATF and FBI would using an armored car with a battering ram to knock down the doors at the Wisconsin Capital building and pumping tear gas in.

        1. Negropolis

          Honestly, isn't he just the worst? When he's not being totally ineffective, he's being evil.

  29. kissawookiee

    I enjoyed reading the AFL-CIO cited material on the linked BradBlog, that lists statistics for white "men," Hispanic "men," and African-American "males." Twice. With friends like that…

  30. Ruhe

    I've thought that maybe the Republican party should change it's symbol/mascot from an elephant to a red herring. They are so good at selling this utterly unimportant shit. Either that or their target audience is so eager to be distracted by such utterly unimportant shit. Do the tea-tards et al who salivate over this issue ever stop to think about the logistics of using actual people to cast actual votes in order to illegally sway an election. It's ridiculously inefficient. I suppose this red herring could just be cover for Diebold's perfected method of electioneering.

    1. mumbly_joe

      Which is weird, given how good they are at the actual methods of committing voter fraud- i.e, registering to vote in a presinct you don't live in, or collusion with local election officials to adjust vote tallies en masse. You'd think they'd understand exactly why voter ID laws will faill to stop 99% of fraudulant voting.

      You don't think there could be some ulterior motive at work here amongst pretty much everyone pretending this is a real issue, do you?

  31. snoopyfan2010

    All of this effort is just to support the theory that the coloreds had to cheat to get one of their own in the White House.

      1. snoopyfan2010

        Well someone had to say it plain and simple. All this snarky humor sometimes goes over my head.

  32. Allmighty_Manos

    Just think of the $28 as just another tax. But instead of a sales tax, it is a poll tax. Nothing wrong with that, right?

  33. ZHollows

    When Barry loses Wisconsin next year to some idiot Tea Bagger, he can sit and ponder why he didn't do anything to help out the states (IN, OH, WI, MI) when they needed him most. Voter ID, redistricting to the point of ridiculousness, etc. etc. etc. I can't believe my Wisconsin has been turned into Mississippi in a matter of 6 months (sorry Mississippi).

  34. tcaalaw

    Can you name the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? No? (Conquest, War, Death and Famine).

    Conquest and War seem duplicative. What happened to Pestilence?

  35. Jerri

    I remember when Wisconsin was all "Hey, it's cool, let's help all the eligible people vote. You can even register the day of the election. Come on homeless fella, step right up. Being homeless isn't a crime," like it was just a few short months ago…Because it fucking was!

  36. FlipperAZ

    " And when it comes to establishing your world view, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this — to stay informed and to understand the world? "

  37. DustBowlBlues

    POTUS will not like this. Or, four of them won't like this. That elitist fucker Anthony Kennedy will no doubt go along with it.

    Let the words of Ralph Nader never be forgotten: Gore's and Bushes' Supreme Court appointments wouldn't be that different. Waste your vote on me and fuck the Democrats.

  38. weejee

    Amongst the hobos in C'Addle's alleys, a pigeon is one who falls for your story. The cooing birds, on the other hand, are known as squab.

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