IT HURTS SO GOOD  9:32 am July 27, 2011

GOP Tries To Build United Debt Front By Watching Violent Movie Together

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

we'll start with the old ladies.What is still the best way in 2011 to convince a room full of intransigent Republican males to join your team? You promise them a little violence and a little mayhem. House Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy sat down a group of GOP lawmakers to show them a scene from a Ben Affleck movie called The Town as a way to boost “togetherness” in the caucus during these eternal debt fights. The movie is about bank robbery, Ben Affleck is the bank robber, and the line McCarthy played for lawmakers goes like this: “I need your help. I can’t tell you what it is. You can never ask me about it later. And we’re going to hurt some people.” HURT! They know that word. Sweaty, excited faces all around! Where do they sign up for whatever John Boehner is asking them to vote for? How soon does the hurting start? Oh, and can we guess which Florida military nut congressman immediately changed his position on the debt ceiling after watching the clip?

Yes, of course it was Allen West. He even offered to drive the getaway car to Belize or wherever.

From WaPo:

House Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.), the party’s vote counter, began his talk by showing a clip from the movie, “The Town”, trying to forge a sense of unity among the independent-minded caucus.

One character asks his friend: “I need your help. I can’t tell you what it is. You can never ask me about it later.”

“Whose car are we gonna take,” the character says.

After showing the clip, Rep. Allen West (R-Fla.), one of the most outspoken critics of leadership among the 87 freshmen, stood up to speak, according to GOP aides.

“I’m ready to drive the car,” West replied, surprising many Republicans by giving his full -throated support for the plan.

AWESOME. Let’s get this show on the road, where do we start? Some brown kids? Old people? Women? COME ON. [WaPo via TPM]

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 281 comments }

Barb July 27, 2011 at 9:35 am

They should watch "The Undefeated" together. It will scare the crap out of them and they will behave for a while.

PsycWench July 27, 2011 at 9:36 am

Or it might bore them to sleep and they can't do much damage for a while.

Barb July 27, 2011 at 9:38 am

Or make them so randy that they put on a tiger costume and tweet wang photos.

Major Thom July 27, 2011 at 9:49 am

They're already doing that.

bagofmice July 27, 2011 at 9:51 am

Wu!

PsycWench July 27, 2011 at 10:18 am

If they paid a few hundred bucks to rent "The Undefeated" it would double the box office, no?

Terry July 27, 2011 at 9:48 am

Or make them jealous of the Snowbilly Grifter.

SorosBot July 27, 2011 at 9:57 am

Maybe that would make them quit.

elviouslyqueer July 27, 2011 at 10:30 am

If only.

AJWjr. July 27, 2011 at 10:29 am

And they could ask Vitter to recommend someone to change their pampers after they shit themselves.

NorthStarSpanx July 27, 2011 at 10:58 am

Damn, The Undefeated could have really used an Establishment booster – instead the Tiny Team Behind Team Sarah is reduced to going around threatening supporters:

"Don’t ask, tell! What I mean is, call your buddy up and say, “you’re going to this movie, OK? It’s a done deal, I need you to go.’ Don’t be shy. Imagine your children’s future depends on it.

Just because you don't live in a city where the movie is currently playing does not mean you CANNOT HELP! Email teamsarahhq@gmail.com to see how you can help as a virtual ambassador!"

Joe-Six-Pack's get unduly appointed Ambassadorships now?

Swampgas_Man July 27, 2011 at 4:13 pm

"Don't ask, tell!"
Suppose they're thinking of something else?

HobbesEvilTwin July 27, 2011 at 11:44 am

I like your idea but for it to have any effect, these people would need what they lack most – self awareness.

HELisforHEL July 27, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Wow, I have been off the grid a bit too long–I hadn't heard of this thing. Good gawd, 'Undefeated'? The Sarah fapping continues marching along. Don't they know there all supposed to worship BatShit Bachmann now?

tessiee July 28, 2011 at 12:12 pm

They'd come in their collective panties two seconds in and fall asleep immediately afterward, just like every night in Mom's basement..

PsycWench July 27, 2011 at 9:36 am

Fight Club" would be more realistic

BlueMonkeh July 27, 2011 at 9:40 am

I see less Tyler Durden and more Don Knotts when I think of the GOP.

Oblios_Cap July 27, 2011 at 9:43 am

Try John Wayne Gacy; they're a bunch of homicidal assclowns.

JustPixelz July 27, 2011 at 10:09 am

Perfect. First rule is Fight Club is "just say no".

tessiee July 28, 2011 at 12:53 pm

I thought the first rule of Fight Club is that you don't talk about Fight Club — which is OK with me, because it might get these idiots to STFU for two seconds.

horsedreamer_1 July 27, 2011 at 10:12 am

They can use Medicaid/Medicare monies to pay for lipo for their Hoveround Army, then make soap from the discharged fat, selling said soap at a huge mark-up (RIL MURCAN cleansing product).

SudsMcKenzie July 27, 2011 at 10:14 am

"I am Johns uncontrollable Caucus"

BlueMonkeh July 27, 2011 at 10:20 am

HA!!!

Thank you, from the bottom of my black little heart. I needed that.

outragedcitizen July 27, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Meh, I'd go with "Jackass" or "Dumb and Dumber".

LouBristol July 27, 2011 at 9:36 am

But the car, and Rep. Darrel Issa, were nowhere to be found.

bagofmice July 27, 2011 at 9:51 am

Protected by viper security.

riverside68 July 27, 2011 at 10:45 am

It was his brother!

occams8ball July 27, 2011 at 9:36 am

If not for the greed, anger, bigotry, and violence, I could consider being a republican.

JustPixelz July 27, 2011 at 10:10 am

It would be a sweet life. I'm getting a stiffy just thinking of all the IOKIYAR things I could do.

BaldarTFlagass July 27, 2011 at 11:27 am

Receptionist: How do you write Republicans so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason, accountability, personal responsibility, and reason.

tessiee July 28, 2011 at 12:14 pm

As well as every last shred of compassion and empathy.

tessiee July 28, 2011 at 12:13 pm

"If not for the greed, anger, bigotry, and violence"

And don't forget the abject, pig-fucking STUPIDITY!

donner_froh July 27, 2011 at 9:38 am

"I'm ready to drive the car over some widows and orphans."
Allen West

LouBristol July 27, 2011 at 9:39 am

"… but tie them up first, so as to even the odds."

LabRodent July 27, 2011 at 9:54 am

Lets just hope its a Corvair or a Sporty Pinto.

riverside68 July 27, 2011 at 10:46 am

Don't forget the uppity non-ladies!

MissTaken July 27, 2011 at 11:45 am

To be fair I'm sure some of those widows aren't acting very lady-like.

tessiee July 28, 2011 at 12:16 pm

If this were spoken in the voice of ADAM West, it would actually be kinda funny.

WinterOuthouse July 27, 2011 at 9:38 am

I understand his enthusiasm. I'm always at my happiest when I get to foreclose on a family and throw them to the street. If I can bash their knees in when they're leaving, well, that is just a bonus

HELisforHEL July 27, 2011 at 12:54 pm

All he needs is a Snidely Whiplash mustache to twirl menacingly.

Oblios_Cap July 27, 2011 at 9:38 am

So they really are a bunch of twelve year-olds!

PsycWench July 27, 2011 at 10:19 am

I'd dial down that age a little, since it seems to me that they could relate to Super Grover of Sesame Street. He always thinks he's saving the day but he actually makes everything worse.

GOPCrusher July 27, 2011 at 1:28 pm

No. Most twelve year olds can see the difference between fiction and reality.
These happy assholes honestly believe that they are patriots, fighting to take their country back.

cheetojeebus July 27, 2011 at 9:38 am

Oh, that's fukkin' heartening.
They probably woulda rather watched Querelle for the umpteenth time.

Limeylizzie July 27, 2011 at 9:47 am

Bonus points for the Querelle mention!

ManchuCandidate July 27, 2011 at 9:39 am

The Road Warrior seems to be a more appropriate movie choice. A land with no fuel. Environment ruined. Sociopath white people driving around raping and pillaging. Plus cute guys in assless chaps.

Arken July 27, 2011 at 9:42 am

Would that make Boehner the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah?

ManchuCandidate July 27, 2011 at 11:52 am

A less masculine and more orange Wez.

Arken July 27, 2011 at 9:49 am

I just realized that Boehner can't be The Great Humongous, because that's Chris Christie.

DashboardBuddha July 27, 2011 at 9:54 am

The Ayatollah of Assahola

genxr July 27, 2011 at 10:59 am

Is that Cantor on the back of his motorcycle? And where is the feral kid with the boomerang when we need him?

bagofmice July 27, 2011 at 9:53 am

I'm getting more of a "Book of Eli" vibe.

trampndirtdown July 27, 2011 at 10:00 am

Yoohoo that movie starred one of those people.

vulpes82 July 27, 2011 at 10:07 am

God, I hated that movie. Yes, the Bible, the absolute most-printed and widely available book ever, survives only in Denzel Washington's head. Sure!

BaldarTFlagass July 27, 2011 at 10:13 am

Really. All they had to do is go into any room and check the nightstand in any post-apocalyptic motel in post-apocalyptic America. Thanks, Gideons!

AJWjr. July 27, 2011 at 10:45 am

I think all they found in there was the Book of Mormon.

Gunner Asch July 27, 2011 at 10:59 am

Gideon checked out and left it no doubt
To aid in good Rocky's revival

DashboardBuddha July 27, 2011 at 11:14 am

Have you ever seen a Gideon? Where are they from, Gidea?

horsedreamer_1 July 27, 2011 at 10:13 am

False flag! Everybody knows Denzel is a Muslin.

fuflans July 27, 2011 at 11:25 am

i remember the new yorker review made some witty comment about mankind being so bad that we were punished with a brown movie.

PubOption July 27, 2011 at 10:36 am

How about 'Barb Wire', American society has collapsed, and people are trying to escape to Canada. It also has Pam Anderson's boobs as a bonus.

V572 Hair of Destiny July 27, 2011 at 11:45 am

It was her homage to "Casablanca," although few noticed, because of the awesome boobage.

weejee July 27, 2011 at 9:39 am

How about "The Caine Mutiny? Boehner will have totally lost his ball bearings if he thinks he'll keep his tarded frosh in line on the debt vote at this time.

HarryButtle July 27, 2011 at 10:02 am

Boner as Old Yellowstain…I like it. And Cantor makes a very convincing Keefer.

Trannysurprise July 27, 2011 at 9:39 am

More like the Thelma and Louise trip over the cliff. Which I would support if they could get all the Republican douche nozzles in the back seat.

AJWjr. July 27, 2011 at 10:48 am

I don't care–back seat, shotgun, strapped to the fucking tailfins, just as long as they all go.

tessiee July 28, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Now I'm picturing hundreds of Hoverrounds sailing over the cliff like lemmings.

BlueMonkeh July 27, 2011 at 9:39 am

From Bob Cesca:

Check your calendars. It’s been how long since a right-wing freakdog went on a killing spree in Norway?

metamarcisf July 27, 2011 at 9:39 am

Many of us already respect Col. Allen "Pigford" West for his support of women in the kitchen. Driving the GOP clown car off the cliff a la "Thelma and Louise" is the next logical step in his quest for the Nobel Prize in Analingus.

Oblios_Cap July 27, 2011 at 9:41 am

Why didn't they watch the whole movie? The party whip couldn't keep their attention for longer than 15 seconds?

DaRooster July 27, 2011 at 10:38 am

He forgot the Junior Mints.

Arken July 27, 2011 at 9:41 am

They're going to need a getaway car if they cause a default. They better get a sturdy one though, one resistant to pitchforks and torches.

WinterOuthouse July 27, 2011 at 9:42 am

Kevin McCarthy displays incredible managerial brio

tessiee July 28, 2011 at 12:51 pm

I kinda liked him in "invasion of the Body Snatchers".

Lucidamente1 July 27, 2011 at 9:42 am

What, Blockbuster was out of "The Birth of a Nation?"

EatsBabyDingos July 27, 2011 at 10:04 am

The new version is "Afterbirth of a Nation." It's not pretty.

donner_froh July 27, 2011 at 9:43 am

Kevin McCarthy could have shown a clip from anything–AARP ad, travel video from Mogadishu–and Allen West would have responded the same way.

He was just so thrilled to be asked to join the cool guys.

Terry July 27, 2011 at 9:50 am

He probably offered to operate the AV equipment.

DaRooster July 27, 2011 at 10:41 am

When you hear the "bing", turn the filmstrip.

(Something he could handle)

Oblios_Cap July 27, 2011 at 9:55 am

He was just so thrilled to be asked to join the cool white guys.

Fixed

trampndirtdown July 27, 2011 at 10:02 am

Didn't Kevin McCarthy used to hang around the edges of the Brat Pack?

EatsBabyDingos July 27, 2011 at 9:43 am

Shoulda watched Apocolypse Now and the cow killing scene. Redub the cow with Uncle Sam, then split him in half, and watch both halves die. #repubwinning!

FNMA July 27, 2011 at 9:52 am

Or, Kurtz: "We must kill them. We must incinerate them. Pig after pig… cow after cow… village after village… army after army… "

FNMA July 27, 2011 at 9:43 am

Should'a watched "Who's Nailin' Pailin."
"Who's ready to fuck the country?"

MissusBarry July 27, 2011 at 9:43 am

Allen West will try to drive the car over the wimmens' heads and up their uterii.

Pragmatist2 July 27, 2011 at 9:43 am

I think they watched porn because they are certainly screwing the country.

DashboardBuddha July 27, 2011 at 9:53 am

For them, this is essentially porn. They're that fucked up.

Tundra Grifter July 27, 2011 at 9:44 am

I thought Rick Santorum was the authority on giving until it hurts. Send them to the Hurt Hut.

Then, of course, there's the Big Hurt. Hurt So Good. And The Hurt Locker.

Doktor Zoom July 27, 2011 at 11:46 am

True story–not long after it came out, I was trying to remember the name of that last movie, and all I could come up with was "The Pain Box"

Goonemeritus July 27, 2011 at 9:45 am

If you want to really get them whipped up show the libertarian classic Mad Max.

BlueMonkeh July 27, 2011 at 10:26 am

From The Beast: 6 Fundamentalist Movies You Should Watch

They should stick to what they know.

freakishlywrong July 27, 2011 at 9:45 am

I've not seen this film, are those union thugs?

ProgressiveInga July 27, 2011 at 9:45 am

Tonight's entertainment: Deliverance. The oldz and poorz are powerfully portrayed by Ned Beatty. "This one here has a real purdy mouth, ain't he?".

tessiee July 28, 2011 at 1:00 pm

In one of life's little ironies, right winger Jon Voight is the one who had a purty mouth (which his daughter Angelina Jolie inherited).

Lucidamente1 July 27, 2011 at 9:45 am

They might also consider "Beavis and Butthead do America."

BlueMonkeh July 27, 2011 at 10:10 am

Compared to these asshats, B&B are sympathetic characters that we can all cheer on to scoring.

horsedreamer_1 July 27, 2011 at 10:16 am

"You wear braces. I wear braces too".

One of my favourite movie lines/pick-up lines. Still.

genxr July 27, 2011 at 11:00 am

Them tea party kids won't stop a-whackin' in mah trailer.

bureaucrap July 27, 2011 at 9:46 am

"Hey Kevin, is it all right if we hurt people just for the fun of it?"

donner_froh July 27, 2011 at 9:47 am

After showing the clip, Rep. Allen West Stepin Fetchit (R-Fla.), one of the most outspoken critics of leadership…

Swampgas_Man July 27, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Stephen Fetchit had more dignity and less rage issues than West ever will.

MissusBarry July 27, 2011 at 9:47 am

Why do I think this was followed by a circle jerk?

JustPixelz July 27, 2011 at 10:12 am

Maybe just followed by a jerk. Glenn Beck comes to mind.

MissusBarry July 27, 2011 at 10:31 am

That's a very pleasant moniker for such an unpleasant sack of santorum-shit-for-brains-ass-fuck-cowardly-luncatic-fuckwad-idiot.

BaldarTFlagass July 27, 2011 at 10:42 am

Why bother? The whole thing's a circle jerk from the git-go; only change seems to be who's going to be the pivot man on any given day.

elviouslyqueer July 27, 2011 at 11:18 am

Followed by?

weejee July 27, 2011 at 9:48 am

/ snark off
First an apology if of late my posts have been more sermonly than snarkly. Second, a request for a group om mani padme om for a daughter-in-law of this recovering Catholic Calvanist (don’t ask) and currently at best a slightly spiritual agnostic. We just learned that the mom of our youngest, and less than 1-year old, grandbaby has stage 4 colorectal cancer. In the past dozen years, she’s the third person under 40 I know personally who have contracted this disease. Too often symptoms don’t show up until this kind of cancer has metastasized. If any of you sub-50 Wonketteers have colorectal cancer in your family trees, push, cajole, threaten yer doc into giving you the scope. This isn’t just something we oldes should worry about.
/ snark on

Thema & Louise didn't try to pack 300 mil plus folks in the back of their car before they drove off the cliff. just sayin'

trampndirtdown July 27, 2011 at 9:57 am

My thoughts are with you

ProgressiveInga July 27, 2011 at 9:57 am

So sorry for what you're going through, wj. I lost my Pops to colon cancer >20 yrs ago before the scope was performed diagnostically. My sibs and I get tested often to get those inevitable polyps snipped. The anesthetist always asks if I want to be 'conversational' while they stick the scope where the sun don't shine. My response? "Uh, no, what do I look like, Katie Couric?" Anyway, thanks for the reminder.

Barb July 27, 2011 at 9:58 am

Oh my God, this breaks my heart. This has to be a highly stressful time for everyone involved. I just want to come and get you and take you for ice cream and have a good cry.

Limeylizzie July 27, 2011 at 9:59 am

Oh Weejee, I am so sorry, lots of good thoughts to your family and especially to that young mother and baby.

EatsBabyDingos July 27, 2011 at 10:10 am

I'm sorry to hear that, weejee. Thoughts, prayers, chakras, oms, and dervishes whirling are all for you and your family today.

weejee July 27, 2011 at 10:19 am

Thanks all, it means a lot. It really does.

SayItWithWookies July 27, 2011 at 10:33 am

That's horrible news, weejee — a friend of mine just died from colorectal cancer and he was in his mid-40s. I hope for the best for you and your family.

MissusBarry July 27, 2011 at 10:35 am

I'm so sorry to hear that, Weej. My thoughts are with you and your family.

elviouslyqueer July 27, 2011 at 10:39 am

Oh man, weejee, I hate to hear this. I've had Hodgkins twice and it ain't fun, but colorectal is nasty stuff. I'll be thinking of you and yours, and offering many positive prayers.

BaldarTFlagass July 27, 2011 at 10:41 am

Thoughts and weebles go out. Man, I keep putting that tube job off. Guess I'd better man up.

not that Dewey July 27, 2011 at 10:51 am

We're here for you. Lost a grandfather to this very condition, and I don't want to see it happen to others.

At 42, and I've had 3 colonoscopies and 12 benign polyps removed. It's probably only a matter of time for many of us.

AJWjr. July 27, 2011 at 11:02 am

Drag City, weejee. All the best to you and yours.

ThundercatHo July 27, 2011 at 11:11 am

I don't know what an om mani padme om is but I will gladly send positive thoughts and good wishes as substitute for prayers for your daughter in law. My dad had CR cancer but I think it was the prostate CA that killed him.

fuflans July 27, 2011 at 11:31 am

oh weejee so very very sorry.

Doktor Zoom July 27, 2011 at 11:33 am

Sending positive thoughts in the direction of Cee addle for you, weejee.

BlueMonkeh July 27, 2011 at 11:37 am

So sorry for your troubles. They make my personal whinetittery seem idiotic.

Extemporanus2b July 27, 2011 at 11:40 am

Lo, let us now commence the group Padma Lakshmi manhandling, until her taut, tawny skin glows with the all-healing dewy blush of one thousand weejee-loving Wonketteers!

(Stay strong for her, my friend…)

weejee July 27, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Missed your posts yesterday with my mind in a more serious fog than normal. Welcome back bud. Does your avatarcide reflect you having any up close encounters of the griz kind, metaphorically or otherwise?

Extemporanus July 27, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Didn't miss much — just a late night Layne-and-nostalgia-inspired dumb drive-by, and an uninspired attempt to troll you libunatics into thinking I was the, uh, troll all along.

Alas, I'm just passing through, but couldn't let your comment go without giving you a supportive cyber-squeeze on the old arthritic shoulder. You and yours have all my best as you fight to beat this goddamn fucking thing, and beat it you sure as hell can.

Regarding my bloody avatard: That headshot went up a couple months ago when I decided to [try to] give myself my walking papers. A metaphorical marijuana bear — that's what you mean by "griz kind", right? — was, as far as I can recall, in no way involved.

(Grrr, dude…you holdin'?)

GOPCrusher July 27, 2011 at 1:43 pm

And yet, Dick Cheney lives.

ragarlove July 28, 2011 at 7:35 am

I set up an account just to reply to this. Had a college buddy who was Stage 4 colon/rectal @ 47yrs old. He turns 52 next month cancer free — after 3 rounds of chemo, two liver resections and part of his lung removed. It is a tough fight, but it can be won. Be positive!! Find a positive doctor who is willing to fight. Don't pay attention to statistics. If one person has survived this, then another one can — that's all that matters. Incurable does NOT mean terminal. Many people live with cancer. She can hang in there till the right treatment is found. Pray because it works (don't know how, but it does). Pray for liver resection, and find a doctor who will do it. That is curative!

Limeylizzie July 27, 2011 at 9:49 am

Oh fuck these lunatics in the arsehole, I am sick to the back teeth of all this stupidity.

DashboardBuddha July 27, 2011 at 9:51 am

Well said, love.

Limeylizzie July 27, 2011 at 9:56 am

Well, they really are so ignorant and that one new Illinois House member, some Irish name , makes me want to punch him in the throat everytime I see him, he symbolises all these Teabaggers perfectly for me.

trampndirtdown July 27, 2011 at 10:04 am

For me it's Flake from AZ. He just sooo proud of not knowing a damn thing.

Limeylizzie July 27, 2011 at 10:19 am

<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Walsh_(Illinois_politician)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Walsh_(Illinois_… />This loudmouthed moron, always saying that Obama was elected due to White guilt.

fuflans July 27, 2011 at 11:37 am

and the district he represents is the very definition of suburban wasteland.

Limeylizzie July 27, 2011 at 11:42 am

Isn't he a bastard?

GOPCrusher July 27, 2011 at 1:46 pm

I think it's that smug look they get on their face when they say "I represent Americans….", it's like they know they don't and they got one over on the public by getting elected.

freakishlywrong July 27, 2011 at 10:01 am

Imagine how Ben Affleck feels?

horsedreamer_1 July 27, 2011 at 10:18 am

He thought he'd never know a bigger ass than J-Lo's.

elviouslyqueer July 27, 2011 at 10:53 am

This this THIS. Thank you, lizzie. Also, case in point (with the possible exception of Steve Cohen). Goddamn idiots, the lot of them.

Limeylizzie July 27, 2011 at 11:05 am

I also really despise that bitch, Marsha Blackburn, if i were a lesbian, and full-disclosure I had a wet-Maddow dream last night, I would get her all sexed up and hot for me, then pull up her big-girl panties and beat the shit out of her.

Papa_Uniform July 27, 2011 at 11:38 am

Ah Lizzie, you're such a cunt tease.

Limeylizzie July 27, 2011 at 11:44 am

Oh my God, I was just sitting here in the nude on Wonkette, when a man appeared on my balcony-10th Floor- and started washing the windows! It was like a porn film form the 70s except I didn't invite him in, rather I went and put on a robe.

Terry July 27, 2011 at 9:49 am

A better movie for them would have been Driving Miss Daisy and point out to them that the Koch Brothers are Miss Daisy in this case.

mumbly_joe July 27, 2011 at 9:50 am

the independent-minded caucus

Bwahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

baconzgood July 27, 2011 at 9:50 am

“I need your help. I can’t tell you what it is. You can never ask me about it later.”

John Ensign? is that you?

EatsBabyDingos July 27, 2011 at 9:51 am

The rethug logic reminds me too much of Blazing Saddles where the Clevon Little character holds a gun to his head and says "nobody move or the black guy gets it!," except that the movie was a comedy and this appears to be a ketamin nightmare.

Goonemeritus July 27, 2011 at 9:51 am

Congressman West seems kind of easy to influence. I suppose the gay community should be relieved they didn’t show Victor Victoria.

Oblios_Cap July 27, 2011 at 9:52 am

Combined with Mr. Whipple having squeezed his last roll of Charmin, my day is ruined.

Radiotherapy® July 27, 2011 at 9:53 am

Brokeback Mountain would have been perfect.

Barb July 27, 2011 at 9:58 am

You will never hear them say, "I can't quit you" They quit us from the start.

PsycWench July 27, 2011 at 10:52 am

Obviously Sarah Palin wasn't involved in producing that movie, mavericky though it might have been.

DaRooster July 27, 2011 at 10:01 am

"We're gonna hurt some people… but it'll feel good for us."

ifthethunderdontgetya July 27, 2011 at 9:54 am

Until I see the stock market drop 1,000 points in the opening minutes, not to mention 10 Year T-notes yields spiking (they're at 2.98% right now, people…near the 6 month lows), I am considering all of this to be kabuki.

Why should the GOP give in when every day, they get more of their insane agenda handed to them by the Democrats who still allegedly control 2/3 of the government?
~

BlueMonkeh July 27, 2011 at 10:15 am

exactly

that's all i got

too depressing a reality this morning

SorosBot July 27, 2011 at 9:54 am

There was me, that is Boner, and my three droogs, that is Cantor, Whippy, and Token West, and we sat in the Capitol ginbar trying to make up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening. The Capitol ginbar sold gin-plus, gin plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence.

freakishlywrong July 27, 2011 at 9:59 am

Well, Boner IS orange…

BaldarTFlagass July 27, 2011 at 10:26 am

…Our pockets were full of Koch money, so there was no need on that score, and, as they say, money is everything.

Mumbletypeg July 27, 2011 at 9:55 am

Did the clip have subliminal innuendo spliced in? Something like "Have a Koch and A Smile" — only more like a shit-eating grin if McCarthy wants to get his point across.

genxr July 27, 2011 at 9:56 am

If we show them Atlas Shrugged will they Go Galt and leave us the fuck alone?

anniegetyerfun July 27, 2011 at 9:56 am

“I’m ready to drive the car,” West replied, surprising many Republicans by giving his full deep-throated support for the plan.

Limeylizzie July 27, 2011 at 10:02 am

Surprising many Republicans, who were amazed that a black man had a driving license as they had planned on the lack thereof as being a great way to disenfranchise many Democratic voters.

freakishlywrong July 27, 2011 at 9:57 am

And these fuckwits accuse the POTUS of not being serious, a leader, tyrannical? ___________ (insert insert insult of the day here).

BlueMonkeh July 27, 2011 at 10:18 am

Oh Kriste on a Kracker, I had to open my email last night and see the subject line from "my senator" GOOPER milquetoast about Obama "not leading" on the debt issue.

It's all I can do to stay at my desk and be a good little plebe today.

GOPCrusher July 27, 2011 at 1:51 pm

GOP Dictionary:
Leadership (n) 1. Rolling over and taking it up the ass without making a sound.
ie. Sen. Larry Craig was looking to show off his leadership skills in the Minneapolis Airport.

FNMA July 27, 2011 at 10:34 am

The go-to quote, from Frank Booth: "Fuck you, you fucking fucks."

tessiee July 28, 2011 at 7:20 pm

"accuse the POTUS of not being serious, a leader"

They'd better hope and pray to their buddy Jeebus that President Pushover NEVER decides to be a leader, because that would *start* with him telling the whole bunch of him to suck his big black dick, because he's through bending over for them, and anybody who wasn't ready to do what he said could get the fuck out of Dodge.

*sigh*

I can dream, can't I?

trampndirtdown July 27, 2011 at 9:57 am

Wolvereeeeeeeens!!!!!

BaldarTFlagass July 27, 2011 at 10:16 am

I was just thinking if they remastered that movie with the faces of Muslims on the Russians, it would really go over big. And Ron O'Neal looks a little Arab-y anyway.

Limeylizzie July 27, 2011 at 10:38 am

MrLimeylizzie designed that movie, I am so proud!

baconzgood July 27, 2011 at 9:57 am

The Whip showing a Ben Affleck film to people so they will vote for a bill? What's next?

"Now I'm going to explain why you should vote for this bill through the majesty of interprative dance."

DashboardBuddha July 27, 2011 at 10:11 am

OT: Back when I was an employment counselor, our director thought this dude in town who did expressive therapy was the bee's knees so of course we had to have a week long "team building" session. Long story short, yes…it was hell. But it was a hell capped off by this guy doing an interpretive dance about how he kicked cocaine. We were torn between implosive cringing and hysterical laughter. Later on, I worked up a parody of said dance that never failed to get a laugh. (Dash…do the Cocaine Dance…do the Cocaine Dance!!!) So, I guess in that sense, team-building mission accomplished.

Oh yeah, last time I saw him he had tattooed his face with Maori tribal markings…and he was driving a Subaru. Bold statements, both.

baconzgood July 27, 2011 at 10:26 am

Dash's friends: Dash…do the Cocaine Dance…do the Cocaine Dance!!!

Dash: Ok pony up some of that Columbian yayo first.

DashboardBuddha July 27, 2011 at 10:34 am

"Ok pony up some of that Columbian yayo first. "

Unlikely. Everyone I worked with was in one (and several) form of recovery or another: Drugs, alcohol, food, sex, ACOA, Codependency, sex, etc. They once considered doing an "intervention" on me because a co-worker stopped by when I was burning incense. Shit…I just like the smell of the stuff.

baconzgood July 27, 2011 at 10:43 am

SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!!!

BaldarTFlagass July 27, 2011 at 10:22 am

"Dude, I finally got the venue I wanted. I'm Performing my dance quintet–you know, my cycle–at John Boehner's K Street Theatre on Tuesday night, and I'd love it if you came and gave me notes."

baconzgood July 27, 2011 at 10:26 am

Is that near the In and Out Burger?

horsedreamer_1 July 27, 2011 at 10:43 am

Those are some good burgers, Bacon.

baconzgood July 27, 2011 at 10:44 am

Shut the fuck up Donny.

Buckminster July 27, 2011 at 11:48 am

I once went to an employer-mandated employee education seminar where the first session was a screening of "12 Angry Men."

That was the only part of the training worth remembering. The rest was crap.

ShaveTheWhales July 27, 2011 at 12:48 pm

"The Grid"? Man, that was a looong time ago.

Come here a minute July 27, 2011 at 9:58 am

Poor analogy — GOP congressmen need no convincing to use violence at any time, on the poors and the olds, or whoever.

AJWjr. July 27, 2011 at 11:30 am

Still, they make me want to kill the fuck out of them with fucking votes, man.

BaldarTFlagass July 27, 2011 at 9:59 am

How ironic is it that this guy is named Kevin McCarthy, same as the star of the seminal 1950s sci-fi flick "Invasion of the Body Snatchers?

They're here already! You're next! You're next, You're next…!

JustPixelz July 27, 2011 at 10:15 am

Literally and metaphorical McCarthyism.

Geminisunmars July 27, 2011 at 11:48 am

He was also in the pretty good '78 remake in a cameo.

FNMA July 27, 2011 at 1:15 pm

Somebody should check the Capitol basement for pods…

DaRooster July 27, 2011 at 10:00 am

"Sweaty, excited faces feces all around!"

There… that's more like it… Dickheads!

starfanglednut July 27, 2011 at 10:04 am

I'd like to see them show "Priscillca, Queen of the Desesrt", with West offering to drive the bus.

philpjfry July 27, 2011 at 10:04 am

They should have shown something inspirational like "Grapes of Wrath"

freakishlywrong July 27, 2011 at 11:39 am

Today. We are all jalopy driving Joads.

Geminisunmars July 27, 2011 at 11:49 am

Ewww! Poors!

FNMA July 27, 2011 at 1:16 pm

They would laughed their asses off. To them, it's a comedy.

BaldarTFlagass July 27, 2011 at 10:08 am

Ben Affleck? they should have watched Gigli.

tessiee July 28, 2011 at 7:24 pm

Is this one of those Zen thingies?
Because I thought, "Even they don't deserve such torment"
Then I thought, "Oh, yes, they do"
Then I thought, "No they don't"
Etc.

powersuit July 27, 2011 at 10:08 am

Gotta keep things simple for most of those guys.

I thought they would have picked The Warriors. Obamer sounds a lot like that disc jockey lady after all.

trampndirtdown July 27, 2011 at 10:17 am

How hard did Boner cry when the troops rallied?

FlownOver July 27, 2011 at 10:21 am

I'd recommend Warhol's "Empire," if only to keep them busy for eight hours plus.

crybabyboehner July 27, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Women in Revolt

not that Dewey July 27, 2011 at 11:54 pm

In the future, everyone will watch an Andy Warhol movie for fifteen minutes.

user-of-owls July 28, 2011 at 12:55 am

In the future, every fifteen minutes Andy Warhol will watch everyone watching a movie.

Monsieur_Grumpe July 27, 2011 at 10:23 am

I would have watched Eraser Head. It makes more sense than all this crap.

FNMA July 27, 2011 at 10:34 am

In heaven, everything is fine.

arihaya July 27, 2011 at 10:26 am

now i wish Obammy watched that "Army of Darkness" movie .. and after that go to the debt ceiling meeting by yelling:

"THIS IS MY … BOOMSTICK.. i mean,,, VETO! "

MissTaken July 27, 2011 at 11:55 am

Hail to the king, baby.

genxr July 27, 2011 at 12:07 pm

"I do solemnly swear to uphold and defend the Constitution to … mumble mumble mumble"

"What? I said it ! I said the words!"

GOPCrusher July 27, 2011 at 1:54 pm

SHOP SMART. SHOP S MART.

BaldarTFlagass July 27, 2011 at 10:29 am

Don't these fuckers realize that Ben Affleck is a liberal?

El Pinche July 27, 2011 at 10:44 am

Unfortunately, their other choice was Daniel Baldwin in Bio-Dome.

not that Dewey July 27, 2011 at 10:54 am

Remind me again — is that the fundie nutjob Baldwin, or the crackhead Baldwin?

genxr July 27, 2011 at 11:02 am

Six of one…

El Pinche July 27, 2011 at 3:46 pm

For some reason my replies are being eaten…some keyword I was using (not rxtxrd). But GC is correct.

Doktor Zoom July 27, 2011 at 11:35 am

They might have found Mr. Baldwin's Sharks in Venice inspiring, too.

GOPCrusher July 27, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Stephen. Daniel is the one that has the drug and arrest record. He also got kicked off Celebrity Rehab for sending lewd texts to Mary Carey.

MissTaken July 27, 2011 at 11:58 am

Just like whenever they pick a song to play at campaign events they get a cease and desist letter because all decent musicians are liberals, too. Not only are they fuckers, they're also dumb!

MrFizzy July 27, 2011 at 10:30 am

They should screen Gigli for the repubelickins – they would all commit suicide and we could get our fucking country back.

widestanceroman July 27, 2011 at 10:38 am

Worst remake of 'Driving Miss Daisy' EVER.

El Pinche July 27, 2011 at 10:39 am

I liken the GOP to the homo-sex still shot sequence in "My Own Private Idaho." Watch the freeze frame of Boehner teabagging both Koch's shriveled up balls. Gohmert's ooh face while taking from behind by the Home Depot CEO. Etc Etc

SayItWithWookies July 27, 2011 at 10:39 am

Was he trying to get his caucus motived to vote for the bill or to kill it? 'Cause the only people being hurt if Boehner's bill passed would be the Tea Party constituency. And really, the only appropriate movie they should be quoting from is Fellini's Satyricon, which starts with one narrative and then goes further and further into stories within stories and digressions within digressions that by about halfway through it the viewer has completely lost touch with the original plot. But such a metaphor might be a little too subtle for our dear GOP.

elviouslyqueer July 27, 2011 at 11:43 am

Apropos of, I'm thinking Caligula might be a safe bet. What with the horse fucking and all.

tessiee July 28, 2011 at 7:25 pm

"might be a little too subtle for our dear GOP. "

Plus, it's all foreigners, yaknow.

Duly_Noted July 27, 2011 at 10:42 am

Maybe show them "The Road" so they can see just where they're leading (leading?) the country.

LiveToServeYa July 27, 2011 at 10:50 am

This is not constructive violence I can believe in.

riverside68 July 27, 2011 at 11:01 am

My vote is for "The Unforgiven"

everyone dies, there is no lesson

BaldarTFlagass July 27, 2011 at 11:22 am

HE HAD IT COMING! THEY ALL HAVE IT COMING!

MinAgain July 27, 2011 at 11:02 am

They should have watched "Deliverance", instead, because they're all furiously paddling the Canoe of State down a raging river, and America is gonna get screwed, as a result.

Oblios_Cap July 27, 2011 at 11:42 am

I refuse to squeal like a pig while they're doing it.

BlueStateLibel July 27, 2011 at 11:04 am

Meanwhile, the Democrats watched Ben Afleek in "The Sum of All Fears," where he tries valiantly to avert disaster but fails, and a big city is blown up, the end.

GhostBuggy July 27, 2011 at 11:04 am

Jesus Christ, what a fucking horror show these people are.

AddHomonym July 27, 2011 at 11:06 am

Needs moar "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!"

Weenus299 July 27, 2011 at 11:12 am

Dude, they couldn't have used Jesus Christ Superstar?

GlowneyHouse July 27, 2011 at 11:12 am

I can imagine them sitting down together to watch the Big Lebowski, loudly booing Jeff Bridges every screen appearance and wondering aloud why David Huddleston's character is so mistreated, maligned and misunderstood.

BaldarTFlagass July 27, 2011 at 11:19 am

Plus, the hot trophy wife. "I'm just gonna find a cash machine."

not that Dewey July 27, 2011 at 11:13 am

Resevoir Dogs was a great movie about a bunch of criminals who all panicked when their plan fell apart and then turned on each other.

But I don't see any parallels to the present situation.

Radiotherapy® July 27, 2011 at 11:43 am

There was a Mr. Pink and Mr. White, but was there a Mr. Orange?

not that Dewey July 27, 2011 at 12:13 pm
SorosBot July 27, 2011 at 12:13 pm

That was Tim Roth; how could you forget?

Radiotherapy® July 27, 2011 at 11:49 am

Also, we are all being tortured enhanced interrogated by being Stuck in the Middle

not that Dewey July 27, 2011 at 12:14 pm

aka the "Bipartisan Stomp"

Rosie_Scenario July 27, 2011 at 11:16 am

"Young Guns"

ThundercatHo July 27, 2011 at 11:21 am

What about "Troy"? Brad and Orlando all sweaty in leather skirts, Helen as SP substitute, and then the whole fucking empire goes up in flames. As a bonus lots of homoeroticism and very bad acting.

Eve8Apples July 27, 2011 at 11:23 am

"Titanic" would have been a more appropriate flick. West can enthusiastically offer to drive the beautiful big boat straight into an iceberg and kill alot of innocent passengers in the process.

genxr July 27, 2011 at 12:03 pm

"The position of these deck chairs is destroying the ship's hull!"

or

"We cannot stay afloat if we just leave the deck chairs where they've always been!"

SayItWithWookies July 27, 2011 at 11:29 am

Oh, you know what would be a great representative movie for this occasion? That Michael Douglas-Kathleen Turner abomination War of the Roses — in which two horribly awful people are divorcing and become so intransigent that they entirely lose sight of what they're supposed to be doing and spend two hours doing stupid, pointless, sadistic things to each other until they both die. Two solid hours of rich, crass materialists hating each other and wrecking their own lives for no good reason. Also I think the producers of that piece of shit thought it was a comedy — which only adds to the appropriateness.

gurukalehuru July 27, 2011 at 5:48 pm

Danny de Vito has the best line of the film (which, I agree, was less than brilliant) "Carol can't come to the phone right now – she's sucking my dick! (hangs up)
I love wrong numbers."
I think that was War of the Roses. but, whatever.

ttommyunger July 27, 2011 at 11:34 am

"I'm ready to drive the car….." That's right, boy; if we go by car, you'll be driving. If we go by bus, you'll ride in the very back. That's the Republican Way for your kind, because you're "near".

thefrontpage July 27, 2011 at 11:36 am

What the story doesn't include is that these other film clips were also shown at the meeting:

1. "I'll make him an offer he can't refuse." –"The Godfather."

2. "Some men just want to see the world burn." –"The Dark Knight."

3. "You lookin' at me? You lookin' at me?" —"Taxi Driver."

4. "Go ahead…make my day." —"Sudden Impact."

5. "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!" —"The Exorcist."

proudgrampa July 27, 2011 at 11:36 am

"Bullitt" The fiery crash at the end of the chase scene. That's where we're headed if West drives…

freakishlywrong July 27, 2011 at 11:42 am

Apparently, BAfflec has reacted. He suggested The Company Men as a better choice for the teatards. The beatings will commence at noon.

Dan July 27, 2011 at 11:45 am

The Tea Party and Terrorism Link Gets Stronger by the Day, as demonstrated here > http://wp.­me/pNmlT-I­i

Buckminster July 27, 2011 at 11:46 am

Pubbies have no attention span.

Wait, a butterfly!

fuflans July 27, 2011 at 11:49 am

well i for one am going ignore all this nonsense and read up on the hapsburgs or something.

DahBoner July 27, 2011 at 11:52 am

OK boys, let's have a little fun together by crushing these bunnies.

You know you like it…

SenileAgitation July 27, 2011 at 11:58 am

Can't Obama just invoke the constitutional bit, cut out the middle-madmen and raise the limit his self? I thought I read somewhere that is an option. Christ it's time to ask "what would Cheney do?" As far as GOP bunker entertainment, what's wrong with Men in Tights?

tessiee July 28, 2011 at 7:29 pm

"As far as GOP bunker entertainment, what's wrong with Men in Tights?"

You mean the movie, or actual men in tights?

Geminisunmars July 27, 2011 at 12:00 pm

It seems to me that they've been watching nothing but "Pollyanna".

genxr July 27, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Rep Allan West stood up and said, "I'm ready to water our nation's crops with Brawndo. It's got what plants crave!"

FNMA July 27, 2011 at 1:19 pm

It has electrolytes!

MissTaken July 27, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Surprised they didn't watch 300:

Tiny band of soldiers fighting a much larger army
Drug induced prophecy
Men in panties, nonstop

smitallica July 27, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Someone should've told Allen West that he didn't need to volunteer to drive the car. Since he was the only black in the room, the others would've EXPECTED him to drive.

Guppy06 July 27, 2011 at 12:47 pm

West had to step up and volunteer to drive, before one of those silly girls tried to get behind the wheel.

Native_of_SL_UT July 27, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Wouldn't it have been better if they just showed a clip from The Fifth Element where Bruce Willis shoots the alien leader in the head and asks "Does anyone else want to negotiate?"

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 27, 2011 at 1:03 pm

I heard they were going to rent Caligula, but it was too similar to their normal caucus meetings, and so not that enlightening.

crybabyboehner July 27, 2011 at 2:14 pm

Need something with that Barton Fink feeling.

Swampgas_Man July 27, 2011 at 4:22 pm

Shoulda been The Looney Tunes Movie, starring Obama as the Roadrunner and Boehnner as the Coyote.

KenLayIsAlive July 27, 2011 at 4:30 pm

It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the "no" vote again.

gurukalehuru July 27, 2011 at 5:50 pm

This is good news for Ben Affleck. (see http://www.gurukalehuru.com)

Negropolis July 28, 2011 at 7:12 am

The Tiny Penis-Tiny Brain Club (The GOP) strikes again. Boy, the power of insecurity.

tessiee July 28, 2011 at 12:07 pm

"Ben WHO-fleck?" — Mango

tessiee July 28, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Ben Affleck?

Sorry, but if it's something involving the word "mayhem", I insist upon at least Brad Pitt or better.

FNMA July 27, 2011 at 10:24 am

Joe Walsh hasn't been the same since he joined the Eagles. I fuckin' hate the Eagles.

AJWjr. July 27, 2011 at 11:04 am

That smarmy cunt…

BaldarTFlagass July 27, 2011 at 10:34 am

Fuck you man! You don't like my fucking comments, get your own fucking blog!

Limeylizzie July 27, 2011 at 11:07 am

Hey there, I had a message from your significant other on Ravelry last night! Adorable cat you guys have!

DashboardBuddha July 27, 2011 at 11:18 am

I wish the opposite were true. Short answer – I like weed…it doesn't like me.

AJWjr. July 27, 2011 at 11:20 am

Oh she's not MY S/O, her hubby wouldn't like that, not at all. But Caffy is a nice kitteh.

Limeylizzie July 27, 2011 at 11:37 am

Oh, I thought you were a charming couple! Sorry.

V572 Hair of Destiny July 27, 2011 at 11:44 am

Musta been a Marriott.

fuflans July 27, 2011 at 11:52 am

yeah and tools like this seem to be the only ones getting coverage.

if i landed on planet US america this AM i would know that this is bamz' fault, the repubs have bent over backward to accomodate him and it is only dems who will suffer at the polls.

and that's from fucking npr.

AJWjr. July 27, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Yes, our avatars would make beautiful babbies!

GOPCrusher July 27, 2011 at 1:47 pm

Bow-chicka-bow-chicka-bow

FNMA July 27, 2011 at 2:18 pm

"You can imagine where it goes from here."
"He fixes the cable?"

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