Rick Warren Hates Taxes, poor people.Evangelical megachurch pastor Rick Warren, whom you may remember as the official evangelical homophobe schlub selected to give the invocation at Obama’s inauguration, thought fit to weigh in on the debt ceiling debate. How does Jesus feel about taxes, Rick?

Half of America isn’t paying taxes! Which half, the corporations? General Electric? Exxon Mobil? Citigroup? No, probably he means “the poors,” the full half of America that doesn’t earn enough income to pay federal income taxes, but who do pay myriad other taxes for things like eating, wearing clothes and driving vehicles. Let them be, Rick Warren, they aren’t getting into heaven anyway. Jesus doesn’t love them, or they’d have millions of dollars from book sales, like Rick Warren.

(Warren removed the Tweet from his account already, and the screen capture is also archived here.) [Twitter/Yfrog via Wonkette operative “Joyce”]

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  • Elementary math might be useful for preaching pastors. I suspect (for example) that the poors pay sales tax at least, even if they are fortunate enough to pay no income taxes by dint of having no fucking money.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Sales taxes, property taxes (though rent at least), Federal and state gasoline taxes, excise taxes on alcohol and tobacco – it's impossible to live in this country and not pay taxes.

      Meanwhile, according to that left-wing rag The Wall Street Journal, the 450 richest Americans paid 18% of their income in Federal income taxes.

      The bottom 50% can't pay taxes because they aren't making any money.

      • That sounded suspiciously like you were resorting to irony.

        *narrows eyes*

        • Are we supporting pulling the plug on the mortgage tax exemption? By we I am referring to the Wonkette landed gentry who, like me, get to enjoy that sacred cow. I say we should get rid of it. It is an artifact from the early 1900s when the grocer, plumber, blacksmith et al slept above or behind where they worked and the maths before TurboTax were felt too hard to separate the business from the personal.

          • savethispatient

            But removing that tax break hurts the middle-class the most, surely? The people who benefit the most from it are probably first-time home owners, no?

            Or am I just being a hypocrite, as I do benefit from that tax break currently? Probably…

          • V572 Hair of Destiny

            Nope. The Riches benefit from this deduction more than the Poors. First because it applies to second homes, if you can freaking believe that. Second because the deduction is worth more the higher your tax rate.

          • savethispatient

            Aha.. So, keep the tax break, but only for your primary home and also add a cap?
            Nah, that's just more paperwork – I'll take the hit, yeah, okay, scrap the tax break.

          • V572 Hair of Destiny

            The advanced thinking is to make it a tax credit, with a cap, and applicable only on your primary residence.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            I've owned a couple homes since 1992 (seems impossible, but now that I look at it, undeniable) and have never been able to take advantage of the mortgage interest tax break because I made big down payments (reducing the size of the principle) and bought slightly less home than I could absolutely afford. It was always a better deal for me to take the standard deduction, rather than itemize and get the mortgage credit.

            I realize this makes me something of a freak, but I say: Lose the mortgage loophole.

          • V572 Hair of Destiny

            And a thousand homebuilders, real estate agents, mortgage brokers, lumber yards and SUV manufacturers say to you: DIE! DIE! DIE! THE WORLD OWES US A LIVING!

          • riverside68

            U R doing it Rong

            Don't let the terrorists win

          • riverside68

            Don't forget that you also get to deduct interest on the investment property also. (So the more your land lord has borrowed the more s/he gets to deduct.)

          • genxr

            I'd say get rid of it for second homes. Anyone can sell their second home. If we got rid of it altogether, I'd be in big trouble – I couldn't afford it and the price would drop putting me underwater, but if we capped it at $500k (okay so I'm one of those successful techie types) I'd take a small hit but could manage. Most people who buy homes – primary residence – above that price put a lot more than 20% down. Can you even get a mortgage much bigger than that anymore?

            Fucking Obama should have just let the Bush tax cuts expire – all of them. People would have complained for about a week, but then the world wouldn't end and we'd be looking at a lot lower deficit now.

          • I am currently starting construction on a new home and still stuck with my ( probably not able to sell for years) old home (yes, I am much like a hermit crab, in need of a new shell every few years because I really fucking hate fixing things or painting), I very much enjoy exemptions. But, I'm not a complete asshole, so I'm willing to give up the exemption. Especially if I get to tar and feather a Koch brother in return.

          • PristineODummy

            Jeezus, if that was your ROI, everybody would be lining up to give up their exemption.

          • We just paid off the balance on FlownOver Acres, so in the spirit of shared sacrifice I say –

            Intercourse the mortgage tax deduction!

      • finallyhappy

        In VIrginia, you pay sales tax on food in the supermarket- all food. Poor people need to give up eating- it is a luxury item

        • Tundra Grifter

          FH: In California we pay tax on hot food to go, or cold food that could or should have been heated, but not on cold food to go that hasn't or shouldn't be heated.

          Most food in supermarkets is not taxed. "Bad" food to go is taxed – doughnuts. "Good" food to go – bagels and muffins – isn't.

          Unless the business calculates most of its sales are taxable – in which case it can collect and remit sales tax on all to go food sales.

          Makes perfect sense – no?

    • V572 Hair of Destiny

      This goddamn canard has been shot down again and again. Whoever has a W2 job pays 6.2% of his or her salary to Soshecurity, and the employer pays another 6.2%. Likewise w/Medicare, where each pays 1.45% of the salary amount. Everyone agrees that the employer contribution is actually paid by the employee, so the total tax on the first dollar that minimum wage worker makes is 15.3%, only slightly less than the 18.1% the riches supposedly pay, and more than the 15% hedge fund managers pay on their ill-gotten gains.

      So Rick Warren: you are a lying hypocritical sack of shit, who either doesn't know what he's talking about, or chooses to willfully lie. Some role model, Padre.

      • Dashboard_Jesus

        I only make $60K a year and I goddam DO pay income taxes so I don't know where this Xtain asshole preacher gets his info but he better watch the fuckin' lies spewing forth from his orifice or I'll have to smite that fucker big time with some ass-cancer…and OF COURSE the douchebag didn't consider the myriad of other taxes paid by the poors and *middle class* (that's me!) which make up a HUGE amount of total taxes collected in this cuntry (btw I DID get a nice tax cut from BO right after he took office- approx $200 every pay check- which continues to this day unlike the Shrub's pathetic $300 *bonus* he gave one time, asshole) Fuck do I hate these fucktard Xtains with the heat of a thousand suns, and this asshole better stop usin' MY name as he preaches to his sycophantic/ syphilitic *flock*

        • Fukui_sanYesOta

          To say you "only" make 60K puts you in the top 30-something percent of individual wage earners in the US.

          That $300 Bush "bonus" was only a bribe against future taxes, was my understanding. His tax cuts were tax cuts, but raped the economy. Nicely done. Between that and the attempted macro-stimulation of the economy via artificially keeping interest rates low, leading directly to a housing bubble, Bush damaged this economy in a way which feels irreparable right now but probably isn't. Might be good enough to get Hopey voted out next year though. Motherfucking Bush was even worse than Reagan in real terms, imho.

      • Nothingisamiss

        Rick Warren you are a lying hypocritical sack of shit…..

        I just needed to echo that.

        Rick Warren you are a lying hypocritical sack of shit.

        See, when I don't get my wonkette fix in (worked hard yesterday) the rage and anger is almost too much.

        Lying hypocritical sack of shit.

        • Native_of_SL_UT

          And might I add that Rick Warren is a lying hypocritical sack of shit in case there is any doubt.

      • riverside68

        Whoever has a W2 job pays 6.2% UP TO $107K, AFTER THAT THERE IS NO MORE ADDITIONAL PAYMENTS

        Make $107k pay 6.2% + 6.2%

        $1M pay 0.6% + 0.6%

        $10M pay 0.06% + 0.06%

        (You get the idea)

        • V572 Hair of Destiny

          You are correct! The Medicare deduction does go up as high as your income. The worst part is the coupon clippers don’t have to pay FICA and Medicare on dividend and interest income.

    • bumfug

      Plus, what nobody ever mentions, they have paycheck withholding that, sure they get back, but in the meantime is a zero-interest loan to the government.

    • PristineODummy

      Excuses, excuses. That's the whole problem with Poorz. There's always a reason they can't pull their share of the load, even if that share is exacerbated by all the Riches sitting on top of it forever, M&M.

    • Ancient_Hacker

      A real douche-nozzle, this guy. He might be including everyone under 18, the retired on Social Security, psych hospital guests, Down's syndrome adults, and prison inmates. That way you CAN get up to 50%.

      he conveniently forgets to mention that that in actuality the rich pay less in taxes, as apercentage, than the middle class. Somehow this slips his mind.

  • As Jesus said, "Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?"

    • Rosie_Scenario

      And as the bumper sticker sayeth: "Lord, save me from your followers."

    • genxr

      HALF of Americans are NOT in prisons or workhouses. This situation MUST be remedied.

  • SayItWithWookies

    And Saddlecrack Church pays how much in taxes, asshole?

    • FakaktaSouth

      For real, that was my FIRST thought. A dude from a CHURCH is pissing and moaning about TAXES? Now that you mention it, dick, lets DO talk about who is TAX EXEMPT and what the hell we can do to change that. Jesus. Just a LITTLE self awareness on ANY of these people's part would be such a world-changing thing.

    • DashboardBuddha

      Unless someone posts something even more amazingly true, I think you have won the week, my friend.

      Right -fucking- on.

    • Beowoof

      Really, I would start to fill the treasury with taxes on these useless assholes.

      • finallyhappy

        I just saw a huge Covenant Life church in Gaithersburg, Marlyand-I can only imagine what they rake in every week

    • HelmutNewton

      Exactly! How else do you think Ricky knows what people who pay no taxes think?

    • emmelemm

      {golf clap}

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      Amen brother, I say tax these phony fucks til it hurts, in their asshole…I'll bet my house against the douchebag's Xtain mansion (in a gated* community no doubt!) that Warren doesn't pay taves on his book royalties either, I'm sure the asshole has a sleazy tax lawyer that found a loophole for him to slither thru

    • Actually, what I'd really like to see is cable companies institute a la carte channel purchasing which would gut a lot of the religoid TV funding for religious networks on the airwaves.

      Why? Most religoid channels depend on payments from us folks who never watch their crappy begathons. If cable companies were forced to do a la carte, shit like CBN and the 700 Club would go bankrupt as there isn't enough fundie supporters with the spending power to keep such networks on cable.

      • emmelemm

        Today, I have learned something. (God bless Wonkette!) I never thought about that angle.

        I have the basic-est basic of cable right now, which is basically the "networks", public access and a couple of shopping channels, but I bet if I looked, there'd be a couple religious asshole channels too.


        • not that Dewey

          In my "market", even the networks show fundie bullshit (Joel Osteen, Prick Warren, et al) on Sunday mornings, then claim that the "views expressed are not necessarily those of the network", a weasely ruse which I also think is total bullshit.

      • SayItWithWookies

        To be fair, that arrangement protects local programming and boutique channels too. Some bundling is good — but it is pretty odious when the religious stations piggyback on more popular networks.

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      not to mention the bullshit special treatment that pastors get on their income. Fucking fat fucking idiot is fat. and a fucking idiot.

    • arihaya

      is "Saddleback Church" the much anticipated sequel to "Brokeback Mountain"?

      • horsedreamer_1

        If not, it should be. Tyler Perry, in his first non-Afro-centric film, can direct.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Just google "saddlebacking." But not at work.

    • tessiee

      *bows deeply*
      SO much awesome.

  • DrunkIrishman

    That'd be accurate if Obama were proposing to raise taxes on 50% of the country – he's not, of course.

    It'd be awesome if 50% of the country made $250,000 a year – but alas, not even close.

  • Ugh, the rose-colored arsewipe returns. To put the Magog back into demagogue.

  • BlueStateLibel

    And you know who else doesn't pay taxes (I have the answer): Rick Warren. As a pastor of some kind of church-thing, that means he doesn't pay taxes. I have an idea–let's start gettng religious groups to start paying taxes like everyone else–deficit will be fixed in no time!

    • berkeleyfarm

      Church lady checking in: pastors are actually supposed to pay it on their income like regular folks. And they, for some reason lost in time, are treated as "self employed" people – so they need to write those quarterly checks and are on the hook for the whole SSI. My church (and I'm sure Moneybags, erm, Saddleback) does reimburse for the "self employment tax" as part of the comp package, but it's still quarterly payments. "Housing allowance", at least at some point, used to be tax free, but Rick his ownself may have fucked that up by publicly urging his brethren to ask for it instead of salary, the better to not render unto Caesar what was his. I think it's down to a percentage/capped amount, but may still be tax free. I can check with our accountant if you like.

      • BlueMonkeh

        This may be true for your small-time parson, but something tells me that Rick's "income" that's reported to the IRS is not quite as majestic as the lifestyle he actually lives. I'll bet a lot of the assets and luxuries he enjoys in his position as head of his "church" are property of said church. Kind of like enjoying the company car even though it's cost and upkeep didn't come from your own reported income.

        And I'm sure the "church" of Rick employes some tax accounting wizards that make sure all money is shifted appropriately to evade any tax reckoning he may have coming.

        • BerkeleyBear

          If you use a company car for personal use, you are supposed to reimburse the company or declare it as income. Ditto if you combine personal and business trips. But the key, ala Grifter Princess, is to make everything "business" related.

          My new goal in life is to start a PAC and get my entire life publicly funded by others. Maybe a church is a better idea.

          • Nothingisamiss

            I look for the Grifter (TM) to start her own church if this grift ever dies out. Wait, I see over there Patrick Buchanan, so, nope, this money train ain't running out for her.

            All she has is a wonderment at the other kinds of grift there are in this big world of ours.

          • horsedreamer_1


          • MissTaken

            "If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion"

            L Ron Hubbard

  • Fox n Fiends

    Lets tax churches and the deficit will die and go to heaven right quick like.

  • north_of_moscow

    "Blessed are the rich in money"

    • Sue4466

      "Blessed are the rich job creators in money"


    • flamingpdog

      You forgot to credit Republican Jesus. Gotta make sure it's grounded in the Bible (King Koch version).

      • Dashboard_Jesus
        • flamingpdog

          That's precisely whom I meant. I was just too lazy to link to the Jesus's General website where you can see moar of Republican Jesus.

          • Dashboard_Jesus

            I don't know THAT guy at all…I think Dad ran his sorry ass outta the house after he saw him taking $$$ from the pharisees, that's a BIG no-no in our family!

    • PubOption

      It is easier for a Koch brother to pass through the eye of a needle, than for a poor man to enter the kingdom of heaven.

      Republican bible.

    • tessiee

      "Blessed are the rich in money"

      "It is better to be healthy and wealthy than to be poor and sick." — some guy

  • metamarcisf

    What is the tax rate for Rick Warren's tax-exempt goatfuck?

    • NO taxes. Zero. He must either be in the half that wants it raised, or Ricky's gunnin' for an orgy jet.

    • Assuming the Christ-worshippers are correct about the whole God thing, I'm guessing one soul.

  • edgydrifter

    Let them eat Koch. –Warren 3:16

    • Beowoof

      Oh I am thinking it won't be long before Rick is found with meth and dick in his mouth in Dennys Men's Room.

  • What God is this guy representing?

    Oh yeah, the Almighty Dollar.

    Praise the Buck!

    • When it comes to the choice between God and Mammon, Christianity has chosen the one with the best dividends.

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      …and pass the plate!

    • dubyatf

      Well, if you take the "l" out of gold. . .

  • elviouslyqueer

    Ass. hole. Douche. bag. Hypocrite.

  • DaRooster

    Tis easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven…

    … unless you give some money to Pastor Rick.

    • Boojum_Reborn

      The fucking word is ROPE! A ROPE to pass through the eye of a needle! Same message, but makes sense.

      Sorry, pet peeve. Aramaic for camel and rope are identical. Some middle age monk didn't know what a fucking camel was.

      • metamarcisf

        I tried shoving a cigarette through the eye of a needle. What was I on?

        • Boojum_Reborn

          Koch. No, that's shoving a lit cigarette through the eyes of widows and orphans…

      • SayItWithWookies

        That explains what happened to Aramaic — most of the speakers died trying to put clove hitches in their camels.

        • Boojum_Reborn

          Or using camels for auto-erotic asphyxiation.

      • LettucePrey

        Actually, when I was growing up, my fundie teachers told me that "Eye of the Needle" was the name of a narrow gateway at the entrance to Nazereth. Travelers had to unload all their possessions off their camels in order to get through the gate; hence the Jebus quote wasn't a metaphor at all, but a reference to a specific location.

        Or, my teachers could have been full of shit. Potato, po-tah-to.

        • GunToting[Redacted]

          It's amazing how fundies can come up with a seemingly-plausible explanation to cover all the crazy shit in that book.

          • Doktor Zoom

            The "eye of a needle" has been interpreted as a gate in Jerusalem, which opened after the main gate was closed at night. A camel could only pass through this smaller gate if it was stooped and had its baggage removed. This story has been put forth since at least the 15th century, and possibly as far back as the 9th century. However, there is no evidence for the existence of such a gate.

            Some claim that "camel" is a Greek misprint; that kamilos (camel) was a misprint of kamêlos, meaning "rope" or "cable". That would resolve the mixed metaphor problem while still stating the impossibility for someone with worldly wealth to enter heaven.

            Wikipedia, "eye of a needle" article

          • Boojum_Reborn

            In Aramaic, the word for "camel" (גמלא) is spelled identically to the word for "rope" (גמלא).

          • Fukui_sanYesOta

            You must be one of them there libberal eleetists what I keep hearing about, with your knowledge and all.

            Seriously though, nice one. This place rocks.

          • tessiee

            You may be right. I know not one word of Arabic, not even swears, but I have to say that the story about the camel not being able to pass through the doorway with its burden of material objects is a nice, vivid, easily-grasped metaphor.

      • flamingpdog

        (Sincere) Thanks for the edumacational fact.
        But how can one expect a Middle Age monk to know anything about a fucking camel when his mind is focused only on fucking boys?

      • In all fairness, it is also very difficult to fit a camel through the eye of a needle. You don't want to know how I know, but trust me. Its hard.

      • Negropolis

        I don't care; camel makes the saying even better. You ever try threading a camel through the eye of a needle, my friend?

        • Boojum_Reborn

          Not unless you count goat fucking, which I don't.

          • PuckStopsHere

            As I said earlier today on the "Llama" thread, I think Shelly ought to blow a goat. I stand by that statement. And Rick Warren can, too. Blow a goat, that is. Then he can go and fuck right off.

      • Guppy06

        So… it's easier to piss up a camel?

        • Boojum_Reborn

          Easier, yes; safer, no.

      • DaRooster

        My understanding has always been that in "Olden Days" Jews used "Camel" and "Elephant" through the eye of a needle often to describe something very difficult…

        Kinda like our, "When pigs fly" type stuff… ('cuz they don't)

        • tessiee

          Of course pigs can't fly. They're trayfe.

      • Dashboard_Jesus

        well isn't THAT interesting? after all these years of hearing that phrase I never heard that from anyone!

    • Beowoof

      Next think you know he will be selling indulgences.

      • Boojum_Reborn

        Or Koch.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I wonder how easy it would be to pass Donald Sutherland through the eye of a needle.

      Sorry, pretty obscure I know.

      • Boojum_Reborn

        I would be willing to put a Boehner through the eye of a needle. Or a needle through his eye.

      • tessiee

        Does that have anything to do with the novel that Donald Sutherland has been working on for ten years?

  • not that Dewey

    Inasmuch as you have done it to the least-taxed of my job-creators, you have done it to me.

    -Rick Warren, dba Jesus

    • user-of-owls


  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    For it is easier for a camel to enter my mega-church than it is for a poor man to enter heaven. I mean, come on, God has some standards.

    –R. Warren.

    • Fukui_sanYesOta

      Poor people smell bad.

      — Jebus, Sermon on the Mount of Money

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      oh I'd bet they got a FLEET of camels over at 'ol Humpack Church, to us at their annual Xmas circle jerk naturally…and I'm sure the douchebag Xtain gets a tax write off for THAT too…also, FUCK HIM!

    • horsedreamer_1

      Heaven has no open housing laws. Praise Jeebus!

  • mumbly_joe

    I'm assuming Rick Warren doesn't actually mean his own hateful, tax-exempt ass when he says those things, though.

  • Dear Pastor Reverend Doctor Warren:

    Some idiot has gotten access to your Twitter account and is tweeting insane bullshit.

    • flamingpdog

      Still a step above a Warren wiener pic.

    • berkeleyfarm


      A classic!

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Even if his argument is true (which it is not), it isn't much of an argument. We should not raise taxes on those who can afford to pay them (especially those making millions off of book sales), because we are not forcing the poor to pay taxes for the services they need.

    By this logic, I guess if I buy a Mercedes Benz, I shouldn't have to pay any excise tax or sales tax on it, as the poor don't have to pay as much on the crappy little broken down Ford Fiesta they are lucky enough to drive.

    Wait, maybe I'm getting religion now…..

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      yep, sounds like you're catchin' on, which will come in handy when your Benz rolls in!

  • Tommmcatt

    …Jesus said, “Watch out for the teachers of the law. They like to walk around in flowing robes and be greeted with respect in the marketplaces, and have the most important seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at banquets. They devour widows’ houses and for a show make lengthy prayers. These men will be punished most severely.”– Mark 12:38-40

    He's lookin' at you, Ricky-boy.

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      …and we all say AMEN!

    • Negropolis

      They devour widows’ houses

      These widows' houses wouldn't happen to be made of delicious gingerbread, would they?

      • tessiee

        MMMmmm… sugar walls.

  • for everyone envious of those who don't pay federal income taxes, there's any easy solution: cut your annual income to $16K or less. pretty sweet, right? or, if you don't want to do that, stfu.

    • Hippielover

      Your stupid comment makes the point, and it's more than $16k.

  • Fewer than 25% of Americans don’t contribute to federal tax receipts. The majority of those are students, the elderly, or the unemployed.

  • Now I lay me down with sheep
    I prey to have my gold to keep

    Ricky "keep smoking that number" Warren

    • Negropolis

      If I shall die before I wake,
      I pray the Lord my golde to take.
      And should I live for other days,
      I pray the dollar will guide my ways.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I am sure it is times like this when Rick Warren is just happy that Jesus didn't waste any of his time on the poor or downtrodden, but only concentrated on the rich and powerful being happy. "Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, but only if the poor do it first."

    • BlueMonkeh

      I'm pretty sure Ricky is hoping there really isn't a God because if there is he's gonna be on the list of those riding the burn-bag to Hades.

  • Christ!

    • zappadoo76

      He's not here right now, but Pastor Rick can take a message. Thank you in advance for your generous donation!

  • widestanceroman

    Rich man, eye of a needle, heaven, something something. . .

    Go to hell you bloaty old fuck.

  • savethispatient

    And to think I still hadn't forgiven him for saying "Sasha" and "Malia" as if they were exotic dishes from a Central American country.

  • DashboardBuddha

    I was listening to the news on the way home and figured (aka already knew) that the repthugs are playing chicken with the deficit just to shipwreck Obama in '12. And then I read about Walker's fucking with the voters (aka, democrat voters), this shit, and the myriad other Koch driven treason and I have to think, there has to be some kind of documentation somewhere…interoffice memo, email that states unequivocally that the RW is really just trying to fuck things up in a naked grab for power.

    Dear lord…I don't ask for much, but would it be too hard to produce a whistle-blower?

    • Boojum_Reborn

      Dear Dashboard Buddha,

      What the fuck you think I'm doing with all the "natural" disasters in Jesus Land? These stupid fucks do NOT get the message.


      PS: Say hi to the fat guy for me. Tell him God says Om.

    • HelmutNewton

      Even if there was a whistleblower, Hopey would probably screw them over, just like he's done with so many others:

    • emmelemm

      Even if said "memo" were to be produced, these are people who claim even an official birth certificate is fake. You could never, ever, ever convince them that whatever evidence was uncovered was real and not some "liebural plant". (See also: Norway false flag operation.)

      It's sad but it's true.

    • dubyatf

      Only ask, and you shall receive:

      ALEC stands for the American Legislative Executive Council, but what it really stands for is corporate conservatives corrupting democracy. As I wrote awhile back, ALEC creates turnkey legislation which is then disseminated to elected officials who are also members via their very secretive organization after it has been approved by corporate members. Only, we really never knew who those corporate members were or who the lawmakers were, either.

      But now, thanks to someone inside who leaked documents recently, there is much more information, and more to be gleaned. I cannot emphasize enough how important this is. Here are some examples of work (and damage) ALEC has done.

  • Beowoof

    Dear Rick
    The top 1% has been paying themselves all the money, thus the lower half has no income and thus no taxes. Douche Bag.

  • GOPCrusher

    Whoever started this meme, needs to be punched in the throat.

    • BlueMonkeh

      Groin. I vote groin.

      • Boojum_Reborn

        Why do we have to choose? Punches for everyone!

    • I'm pretty sure it was Piggy Wormtongue (Rushbo)

  • Boredw/Gravitas

    Dear Rick,

    Suck it. Suck it hard. Then eat a lightly-salted bag of, well, you know.


  • DashboardBuddha

    Although I have said this many times before, it bears repeating…

    I hate these fuckers with the heat of a thousand suns.

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      hey wait a minue, that's MY line (and I thought I made that EXACT comment somewhere else on this thread, WTF?)

      • DashboardBuddha

        No worries, DJ. There's enough hate and enough suns for us to share.

        • Dashboard_Jesus

          yeah, but you'd think we could both give up the hatin' thing by now, eh? it's just that these phony fuckin' pharisees piss me off so much

          • DashboardBuddha

            It's all good. They piss off the Heavenly Jesus too.

  • You guys, be fair. Rick Warren is very Christ-like. He hangs out with hookers All. The. Time.

    • horsedreamer_1

      But Jesus the Nazarene never hung out with trannies.

  • Goonemeritus

    It is worse than most people realize, the commonly shown graph does show that the 1% pay a smaller percentage of their income than the next lower 20%. What people don’t realize is when you get into the top bracket deferred income becomes a common trick that lets them store away untaxed income until they need it. Also investment growth is not counted like income from work so this also distorts the numbers. Suffice it to say it’s good to be Rich Bitch!

    • MissusBarry

      And, yet, I have this random little mutual fund that occasionally earns over $10 in a year that rolls back in that I have to count as a capital gain. I'd get an accountant, but that'd cost a fuckload more than 35% of $10.

  • MinAgain

    "The poor you will always have with you." You know, I really don't think Jesus meant that as a national policy.

  • __kth__

    This thread gives me an idea for a game show: take 5 people at random from some aluminum-sided evangelical church, and 5 people at random from some trendy coffee house, or the NY Public Library, or some bar that serves absinthe, in general some haunt of the well-read skeptical, and have a Bible quiz. My money would totally be on the heathen.

    • Steverino247

      "Are You Smarter than an Atheist?"

      (Trick question. Not if you still believe in imaginary friends.)

    • Rosie_Scenario

      Like when Stephen Colbert asked some Georgia GOP representives to recite the Ten Commnandments. He got maybe two of them. Morans.

      • Dashboard_Jesus

        I LOVED that episode, dumb fuckin' rednecks can't even quote their OWN religious bullshit, WTF?

  • I only want rich people at my church.

    • berkeleyfarm

      I heard some sort of vague story (translated: don't quote me on this because I could be wrong) that a financial statement is part of the application for "full membership" at Saddleback.

  • Callyson

    FFS, this crap again? That old saw was debunked ages ago…
    It’s A Myth That 47% Of Americans Pay No Taxes, In Truth 86% Pay Taxes
    Now, can we get the Taiwanese political animators to take on this POS pastor?

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      thanks for the link, very useful, I'm gonna save this one!

  • Income taxes, Pastor McDouchebag. They still pay sales tax of most of the things they buy.

    You might want to spend more time ministering to the poor rather than complaining about how they don't pay Federal income tax, since THEY ARE AT OR BELOW THE POVERTY LEVEL, ASSHOLE.

    Sorry, folks. I'm a good Episcopalian (i.e. I like Jesus, gays, drinking, occasional cursing and do tons of volunteering) but sanctimonious evangelicals piss me right off.

    • Hippielover

      They pay sales tax on what? Food? Clothes? No. Oh, I know….iPhones, tv's and all those other things we need to survive.

    • berkeleyfarm

      You've got an AMEN from this fellow Piskie.

      Ricky-boy, that voice in your head telling you to lie and cheat? Much less neglect the poors? I don't think it's the Holy Spirit.

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      amen brother, AMEN!

  • obfuscator2

    fuck you, you fat hateful fuck. i have no patience for this shit today.

  • horsedreamer_1

    The way the pastor pisses on the vulnerable, we should start referring to him as R. Warren.

  • Unless Jesus had a massive change of heart over the last 2000 years, this guy is massively full of shit.

    Any status on what percentage of Americans are children?

  • DahBoner

    I think he means poor hedge fund managers who make only a billion a year, pay no taxes…

  • Redhead

    But I thought Warren and the other GOPers and teabaggers WANTED half of US adults to pay no taxes.

    By which I mean, of course, the female half, who are popping out babies, barefoot at home, so quickly they don't have time to get jobs and pay income taxes.

  • snoopyfan2010

    This post made my day. The whole effort in figuring out what he said must have been above his pay grade.

  • jimstoic

    It's a cynical view of humanity that thinks people who pay taxes can't be willing to pay more. What, exactly, does it mean to people like Rick Warren to love their country?

    • To these guys it generally appears that "to love your country" means to be caught blowing lines of meth of a boy's ass somewhere within it's borders.

  • axmxz

    Mathew something or other E: Pi "But Jesus said, Suffer these assholes, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for the welcome they'll get will be a hell of a lot warmer than they expect."

  • Hippielover

    All you haters of wealth and truth will never have it. You are prisoners of the welfare mindset and all you want to do is pick someone else's pocket, and speak platitudes. Good luck to you when the golden goose is done.

  • poppaneedsanap

    asshat par excellence

  • berkeleyfarm

    Awww, is L'il Ricky upset because the IRS cracked down on the allowable "housing alliance" for pastors, thus causing him to actually have to pay taxes on most of his compensation? Serves L'il Ricky right for publicly urging other pastors to game the IRS by urging their congregations to pay them (non-taxable at the time) "housing allowance" instead of salary.

    L'il Ricky might also be cranky if he just wrote out a quarterly check to the IRS, because for some reason clergy are "self employed" according to the tax code and have to write those checks for withholding and 15% SSI. Which I thought was highway fucking robbery when I was working on 1099, but then I 1) have income that fell below the SSI cap and 2) wasn't getting reimbursement for the "self employment tax" (7.5%) as part of my comp package as I'm sure L'il Ricky is. (I mean, my much-smaller church includes that as part of the pastor's compensation, I'm sure that Rev. Moneybags insists upon it.)

    • user-of-owls

      Hey, Rev, welcome to the reservation! Great to have ya!*

      *um ok, nice that i finally recognized that you were on the Rez.

      *sheepish sheepishness*

      • berkeleyfarm

        If you're referring to me … I'm not a Rev., just a laywoman who wants her religion back from the money-grubbing bigots.

        • user-of-owls

          Well of course I'm referring to you, silly laywoman who wants her religion back from the money-grubbing bigots!

          And guess what? Herewith, you'll always be La Rev to me, because reverend should in reality refer to those whose works, beliefs or characters should be revered. And you done got qualified on those grounds.

          So, agin', hiya La Rev!

          • berkeleyfarm

            Well, hello! *blush*

  • berkeleyfarm

    FWIW, my guess for "the thing that brings Rick Warren down" has always been "financial".

    Mark Driscoll, I've got pegged for "starts having serial affairs with the 20-something chickeybabes who keep propositioning him". Although he's totally obsessed enough about "masculinity" and the whole he-man thing, it could be rentboys instead.

  • Papa_Uniform

    "Pastor" Rick is doing what these turds always do, step on their own dicks. What amazes me is how they get their foot up that high squish the wee thing. You keep tweeting Rick. Even you good friend Obama won't be able to keep you afloat.

  • user-of-owls

    Motherfuckin' muscular Jesus would belong to the fuckin' United Brotherhood of Carpenters, you stupid cunt. And you'd be pissin' your fuckin' preacher-panties waitin' for him to knock on the door and say, "Nice fuckin' megachurch you got here. Be a shame if a fuckin' 8×12 beam fell outta the ceiling right over dem pews dere, know what I mean?"

    • bikerlaureate

      My hero.

      For years I've been reminding people that Jesus was a tradesman, work on a construction crew for even a couple hours and ponder that type of animal, etc. etc.

  • BlueMonkeh

    You know who else doesn't pay taxes, Rick? Your BUSINESS. Yeah, that's right, your business because you had the luck to grift yourself into a sweet "religious" tax-free gig, you fucking fucker.

    Cunt. And, also, too.

  • monkeypowered1

    W.W.J.T…..what would Jesus tweet?

  • OneDollarJuana

    It's been obvious to me for years: pastors in the Evangelical churches are there for at least one of two reasons: power and money. Every single one of them that I've run across has been an addict of the adulation of their congregations. The more successful have managed to fleece their flocks of much, much money. I'm convinced that the majority of them, virtually all men, are bedding several members of the congregation. Just think how much Rick Warren's cachet, and bank account, went up after being graced by the Obama Blessing.

    • BlueMonkeh

      Hopey's been telegraphing his real intentions to all of us libtards from the get-go. Choosing this <I can't even come up with a profanity vile enough> "pastor" to read his magic spell at the inauguration was a vision of all things to come.

  • HolyCow!!

    Many of these non-payers are retirees and school children.

    • MissTaken

      Get a job!1!!1!!

  • Negropolis

    Blessed are the job creators, for they hope to buy a VIP pass to heaven.

    But, Rick is a New Evangelical, which means that when he damns you to hell and spews conservative boilerplate bullshit, he does it with a smile, see.

  • iburl

    20 The young man said to him, "All these (commandments) I have observed; what do I still lack?"

    21 Jesus said to him, "If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me."

    22 When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful; for he had great possessions.

    23 And the name of that young man was Rick Warren.

    • flamingpdog


  • Negropolis

    Poor Little Rich Girl only havin' fun…

  • Weenus299

    Well fuck his speaking at the next inauguration.

    • HobbesEvilTwin

      and fuck Obama for, well, a ton of shit, including putting that pantload Warren on the map.

      • Papa_Uniform

        Many upfisties to you HET for that. Credit where credit is due.

    • flamingpdog

      In an effort to reach across the aisle (and I mean, really reach across the aisle), Obama will have the invocation at the next inauguration given by Zombie Jerry Falwell.

      • BlueMonkeh

        The way things are going, Crazy Eyes will get to pick the next wizard that casts spells for the nation.

  • MiniMencken

    Cromulent may be an underused word, but so are mountebank, charlatan and impostor and they fit the televangelist grifter crowd to a T. Increase your word power!

    • user-of-owls

      ooohhh, you give me a vocabularic girl-boner-even-though-I'm-a-guy, um boner. Vocabularically. grrr.

    • Geminisunmars

      But there is nothing cromulent about Warren. I think?

    • Negropolis

      My disdain for Rick Warren (Jeffs) has been embiggened.

  • HobbesEvilTwin

    cue the thousands of fucktards who are going to post that meme as a facebook update in three … two ….

  • arihaya

    I think Obama has some wicked sense of humor,,

    I mean,, I guess he conspicuously choose this mad Southern Baptist pastor to highlight what a turd is a person like him

    • Negropolis

      Yeah, that's it. Right. It's all just a sardonic joke. Right? Right? **nervous laughter**

  • obfuscator2

    it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich pigfucker evangelical to form a coherent thought.

    rick, if your taxes get raised, just increase your tax-free corporation's tithing quota. and get fucked while you're at it.

  • Papa_Uniform

    Belated thanks to Obama for including Rick Warren (Pastor to the rich and suckcessful) in the Inauguration. First of many triumphant compromises.

    • Negropolis

      But, he brought in Beyonce, so…ooo…butterfly! Wait, what were we talking about, again?

  • Neilist_Returns

    This may be one of those "With The Benefit of 20/20 Hindsight" things.

    But in retrospect, that the Obama Administration was going to be One Gutless, Craven, Cave-In To The Right After Another should have been obvious from his selection of Warren the "religious leader" to give the Invocation.

    That said, Rev. Wright should stop calling Obama "boy." "Uncle Tom" and/or "House Negro" are more than sufficient.

    • Negropolis

      This may be one of those "With The Benefit of 20/20 Hindsight" things.

      Nope. Warren has always been a jerk, but the media deemed him "moderate" and popular, so everyone had to kiss his ass.

      • horsedreamer_1

        His appeal was aided in no small part by the meth-head in Florida who read from The Purpose Driven Life to subdue the jail escapee who was holding her hostage.

        That, more than any other part of the narrative, is what keeps people from re-evaluating Pastor Rick. (Who prolly deserves close to as much scrutiny for Prop 8 in Calif. as does the Mormon Church.)

  • owhatever

    He explained it to mean that the top 10 percent of the middle third's bottom 11 percent, on average, pay unfair taxes to the bottom two-thirds of the fifty percenters, who wish it were the other way around. Now we pass the collection plate again while you scratch your head and I dodge the IRS..

  • anniegetyerfun

    Poor people are just so fucking SELFISH.

  • fuflans

    this guy.

  • widget2011

    Just remember what the bible says:

    It is easier for a camel to go through an eye of a needle, than for a poor shlub to enter the gates of heaven.

    Blessed are the rich, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
    Cursed are they that mourn, for they shall be kicked in the arse.
    Blessed are the haughty & arrogant, for they shall inhertit the earth.
    Cursed are they which do hunger and thirst after rightgeousness, for they shall be starved.
    Cursed are the merciful, for they shall be seen as weak, and shown no mercy.
    Cursed are the pure in heart, for they shall be delivered unto Satan.
    Blessed are the warmongers, for they shall be called the children of god.
    Cursed are those who are persecuted for righteguesness sake, for theirs is the kingdom of hell.
    Blessed are those who have smokin' hot wives, for that is what god had intended (sic).

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Nicely done!

  • If its one thing Jesus is famous for, its his support of job creating money lenders and his hatred of the poor.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Warren removed the Tweet from his account already"

    I do this a lot myself, when I surly-aggressive-drunk post.

    • BTF is that the new SAD?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        I guess so. Hey, y'all, I made a meme!!!

  • Jerri

    So Christlike, this man.

  • Respitetini

    Problem for these ass-licks is that this Jesus fellow was quite clear on paying your taxes. Went something like this: "Whose face is that on the dollar bill? Washington's? Huh. So, you give to Washington what's Washington's, and you give to God what's God's." I'm paraphrasing, but you get the idea.

    Learn the Bible before you preach it, you stupid fucking fuck.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "HALF of America pays NO taxes. Zero."

    Hey Rick:
    ALL of America's churches pay NO taxes. ZERO. Never have, never will.

    So…. FUCK OFF, you stupid soppy wanker.

    • And a pay-for-PhD divinity degree from Universal Life beats the draft if that ever comes back. Better to be an occifer preacher than an enlisted 11B10 grunt humpin' a pig.

      No sillies, not makin' bacon with Porky, but the beloved M60.

  • WinterOuthouse

    I long for the day when these smartass ignorant pastors cause their 'churches' to loose their tax exempt status. Greedy hateful bastard pastors

  • Ruhe

    Sorry Reverend Rick, bad news from these Chinese Physicists: clicking delete on your timeline will never be the same as actual time travel.

  • Anthr_DCLwyr3d

    As the leader of a tax-exempt organization that pays zero tax he must be advocating for increased taxes, right?

  • Nopantsmcgee

    Someone needs to knock the cock right out of his fat mouth.

  • Come here a minute

    The real lucky-duckies are the long-term jobless — they haven't paid a penny in taxes in years, yet they're still enjoying the largess of big government highway overpasses, under which they have been living since their unemployment benefits ran out.

  • Poindexter718

    This Tartuffe must wake up every day and ask himself "WWJS (whom would Jesus screw)?"

  • jus_wonderin

    Oh my gahhhhhhh…………………

  • Sounds like Mr. Warren is living a real purpose driven life. His purpose is kinda selfish which makes him another slob like one of us.

  • Oh fer fucks sake. I am disabled. I'm living on roughly $800/month. I pay no income tax. Would Rick Warren like to exchange financial situations?

  • mookwrthwilson

    Rick Warren's tweets are like pure evil…he is now criticizing the people who criticized him for being an asshole.

  • ChiBizzGuy

    If anyone would like to call Saddleback and express their views about exactly how sanctimonious a douchenozzle Rev. Rick is (and to ask when they will start paying their fair share of taxes on the millions of dollars they take in each year), their numbers are (949) 609-8300 and (949) 609-8010. Just saying …

  • benjo765

    How good do you reckon Rick is at fitting his fat ass through needle eyes?

  • El Pinche

    He is twatter name should be @GiveMeYourJesusMoneySoYouCanSleepAtNight

  • bureaucrap

    "Behold the lilies of the field; they toil not,
    So they should be taxed at 70%, as punishment."

  • ThundercatHo

    Fuck this fucking fuck and all his sick, phony, pos brethren. I'd love to see Kourtney shove her giant vegetable up his ass and down his throat. I just really hate guys like these. Aretha should've put her foot right up his ass on the first fucking day and just set the right tone. Asshole.

  • ugodOH

    My rich Republican grandparents own this book called something like "How to Pay No Income Tax". I'm poor and I pay income tax so I don't know how this all is supposed to work. Do I need to have a bunch of kids or something?

  • ttommyunger

    I figured this lardass goatee-sporting douche as a hack when he gave McCain a free ride during his "Debate" with Barry. Nice of Ricky Boy to let Walnuts hear the whole thing over the radio because he "was late" arriving for the event and couldn't be in the soundproofed Green Room. This turd wouldn't rate as a dingleberry on Jesus' ass and if he ever meets him he'd better be wearing a cup.

  • a_pink_poodle

    As it says in the Bible; "Blessed be the rich for they can afford the $50,000 entrance fee into heaven. All the poor and lazy people will be dashed before the feet of Jesus" Lawl 6:9

  • PalinPussyPower


  • Nostrildamus

    Damn right, Rick! Time to tax all those churches !!

  • poorgradstudent

    For some reason I'm reminded of that scene from Kevin Costner's "I Can't Believe It's Not Robin Hood" where Friar Tuck kills a corrupt bishop by loading him up with so much gold and treasure he falls out of a window.

  • Isyaignert

    WTF – Churches don't pay taxes either.

  • squirmisher

    Revoke his tax exempt status so he can pay his fair share that the poors aren't paying.

  • tessiee

    I haven't seen Saint Rond in this thread, so I'll take the liberty of commenting on his behalf re pastor Warren:


    That cunt.

  • miked420

    Oh yea Rick? Well there's no such thing as a god.

  • Dashboard_Jesus

    very nice, I thought I'd seen some big upfist numbers before but 341 may be da winna! (and of course Wookies is worht every fist!)

  • RightWrezko

    Me want pay more tax.

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