another one bites the dust

Barely Legal Furry Sexytime Topples Weirdo Rep. David Wu After All

a strange career comes to a strange end. we will miss using this photograph.Well, that was fast! Furry sex aficionado Rep. David Wu announced he will resign after the debt crisis negotiations are over (hahaha, so actually he means “never”) because of this sexytime incident with the 18-year-old daughter of his high school classmate that we heard about only a few days ago. Hooray, Congress is down another creepy pervert sex predator! Only several hundred more to go, we guess. Mostly we feel awful for the young woman that Wu sexed, for obvious reasons. We are also sorry for Nancy Pelosi, who has been spending a lot of her time this summer forced to listen to Democratic lawmakers talk about their sordid peen problems. Oh well, adios to the only member of Congress who will never be remembered for anything besides wearing a homemade Tigger costume, for America.

From MSNBC:

The congressman had been pressured to step down after the House Democratic leader sought an investigation into the woman’s claims that the interaction was unwanted.

Wu, 56, a seven-term Democrat from Portland whose unusual behavior had been the subject of news stories earlier in the year, has said the encounter was consensual.

In a statement, he said, “I cannot care for my family the way I wish while serving in Congress and fighting these very serious allegations.”

Wu continued, “The wellbeing of my children must come before anything else. With great sadness, I therefore intend to resign effective upon the resolution of the debt-ceiling crisis.”

And that is that. Thank God at least Twitter wasn’t involved. [MSNBC]

Comments

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  • tihond

    Meanwhile, a fresh load of diapers shows up at the Senate for David Vitter.

    • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

      "Fresh load" and David Vitter in the same sentence? That's about right.

  • Come here a minute

    The wonderful thing about Wu is that he's the only one. He's the only one!

    • fuflans

      bouncy bouncy fun fun fun!

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    And, yet, David Vitter is still a Senator.

    Think about it, won't you?

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      I need to put on my thinking Huggies.

    • hollywooddood

      The Party of Family Values is much more accepting of these matters.

    • DashboardBuddha

      My thoughts exactly. Affairs with Dems? Kick the fucker out. A GOPPER has diaper sex with a prostitute? Standing O from Santorum.

    • orygoon

      A senator from Louisiana. Have you ever been there? And I don't mean Nawlins, I mean the backwater.

    • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

      Only cardinal sin for Republican is being queerosexual.

    • Negropolis

      Someone grab me my thinking grenades. Thanks.

  • Barb

    Crouching tiger, hidden predator.

    • mourningnmerica

      Crouching tiger, hidden drag queen.

      • comrad_darkness

        please, that is an insult to drag queens. Fur belongs on a collar, thank you.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Sorry, but one lunatic Democrat isn't going to balance out the Republican congress on this debt thing-a-ma-wuchit….

  • fuflans

    what does this have to do with cutting taxes for job creaters????

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Mark Foley would have been trying to ass-fuck Christopher Robin.

    • nappyduggs

      While using Poo's beloved pot o' honey for the lubez.

  • LettucePrey

    True fact: Wu was med school roommates with Bill Frist. *Eagerly awaiting grainy 80s photos of frat-boy-esque hijinks.*

    • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

      Like Frist dressed up as piglet?

      • Terry

        One change. Not Piglet, but a piglet. Trussed with an apple in his mouth.

  • SexySmurf

    He's still a better tiger mother than Amy Chua.

    • mumbly_joe

      He's really more of a Tigger Dad than Tiger Mom, though.

  • Geminisunmars

    At last there is motivation to bring this debt-sealing debate to a conclusion.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Sucks to be Wu.

  • glamourdammerung

    Remember how vigilant the Republicans were in getting rid of Mark Foley?

    By "getting rid of", I meant actively covering up.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      "House Democratic leader sought an investigation into the woman’s claims that the interaction was unwanted."

      So, if the 18-year-old was all enthusiastic about this, there's no problem? No wonder so many pervs and nutjobs want to be representatives.

      • glamourdammerung

        If that is the age of consent in that state, then there is no problem from a legal standpoint. However, Foley admitted to breaking the law as he did have sexual contact with minors.

        Besides, the Democratic leadership was pretty clear about wanting to get rid of him before this due to his other interesting behavior.

  • themcwow

    Seven terms.

    • SayItWithWookies

      The scandal! It's almost as though the girl didn't make this information public until recently.

  • Goonemeritus

    Wow he left before Rush could even drag out the old cookie that disgraced Democrats never resign. This seems kind of unfair to poor Rush now he will have to do his show prep all over again.

    • DaRooster

      Meh, I can flow pretty damn good on a couple of Oxys…

  • MinAgain

    There's a pussy joke somewhere in this story…

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "…investigation into the woman’s claims that the interaction was unwanted."
    "Wu… has said the encounter was consensual."

    I guess he must have swipped her a Wu-fee.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Well played, young sir.

  • http://thefastertimes.com/absurdnews/ inapewetrust

    why doesn't his tiger costume have fingers? why is he sitting there with basically just tiger socks over his hands? are the only requirements for being a congressman truly just being dumb and slutty and despising other people? bah.

    • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

      Yeah, that suit is gross. Seems like something that gives you an instant rash upon contact.

      Then again, so does the congressman.

    • MissTaken

      Not gonna lie, it's the tiger socks for 'paws' that take that outfit from just furry to sexy furry

      • AJWjr.

        Some homeless guy at the stop sign wearing tiger socks on his hands and a spray bottle of urine or spit was trying to "wash" my windshield the other day, I had to pay him a dollar to stay away from my car.

    • mumbly_joe

      Wow, you're making me thing I should run for congress. I mean… two out of three ain't bad, is it? Plus, I already have a viable fursona

  • V572 Hair of Destiny

    Not to judge Wu, but isn't it craven the way these guys (Ensign, the Wide-stancer, Weiner, etc) want to negotiate their inevitable departures? "Okay, I'll quit my committee chairmanship. Are you happy now? No? How 'bout if I don't run again — is that good enough? What? Okay, fuck it, guess I'll have to spend more time with what's left of my family."

    Yes I posted this in the last item, but now it's appropriate! So deleted it over there. The oeuvre must be groomed and tended to.

  • DemonicRage

    The nation is in serious economic peril. I think it is the patriotic duty of this guy and for Anthony Weiner to….this one, dress up in his furry costume, and Weiner, put on the infamous pair of gray jersey briefs and each of them, grind against large stuffed animals…..for donations to the national debt of course. Broadcast the event on CNN, with call in pledges from similarly patriotic minded citizens. (Alternate pose would be each of them use his own hand, while looking at the half of the poster for the new Justin Bateman movie where Ryan Reynolds is squeezing the upper legs of two young women, while squeezing his mouth into a perfect "O." There's something very patriotic about that poster, too.)

  • littlebigdaddy

    Pics or GTFO.

  • metamarcisf

    "I therefore intend to resign effective upon the resolution of the debt-ceiling crisis – or when the Bills win the Super Bowl, whichever comes second"

    • DemonicRage

      I was thinking about that too. Who comes second: the guy in the furry suit, or the (whatever) underneath him?

  • Oblios_Cap

    So he's an Oregon tree-hugger, eh? Do his Birkenstocks go over or in the Tigger costume?

    • tessiee

      Give the guy a break.
      All the organic costume shops in Portland were completely sold out of spotted owl costumes.

  • Schmannnity

    Mediocrity and mendacity abhor a vacuum.

  • comrad_darkness

    David says, "Oh Wu is me . . ."

  • orygoon

    Snark aside, I hope we get a more popular and less flaky Dem firmly ensconced in this seat.

    My own district was represented by the underrated solid liberal Darlene Hooley when I moved here, and now is held by a Blue-Dog-Caucus dem named Schrader. This makes me sad–but, it must be allowed, not as sad as I was back in Texas.

    • http://www.frso.org/index.htm 4TheTurnstiles

      From 1994-96 that seat was held by the colossal dumbshit Jim Bunn. A bag of burgerville wrappers was smarter than that illiterate proto-teabagger. He made boring TV Guide reading Darlene Hooley look like fucking Leon Trotsky. Correspondence with that asshat was not unlike exchanging letters with a streetcorner ranter in temporary prison lockdown. Exasperation in Gladstone, let me tell you.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Since it's Portland he tiger costume must have been locally sourced as well as the consensual/non-consensual 18 year old.

    What a putz.

    • V572 Hair of Destiny

      Must have got the idea from the mayor who banged the babysitter. Got to do something on those long rainy days…

    • Oblios_Cap

      I'm sure that she was a free-range teen.

  • LiveToServeYa

    … it is a tale
    Told by an idiot, full of sound and furry,
    Signifying nothing.

  • edgydrifter

    Speaking as a liberal Oregonian, let me say a lot of us grew weary of PedoTigger's shenanigans a long time ago (to say nothing of his weak record actually representing his constituency effectively in DC). We're sorry it had to happen this way, but we're not sorry to see him go.

    • DashboardBuddha

      "PedoTigger"

      Win!

    • MissTaken

      "PedoTigger" is all kinds of wonderful!

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Take comfort, Wu. As soon as some network seizes upon "Dancing with the Pervs," you'll be green-lighted to really let your furreak-flag fly.

    Just don't sign on with any show starting with "So You Think You Can…?" because, well, the lesson learned just now should've been Oh No You Can't.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Cosplay with the Stars! Have Bristol in a gorilla suit pair with Wu in a tiger suit!

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    the only member of Congress who will never be remembered for anything besides wearing a homemade Tigger costume

    So fatalistic, Kirsten. While there's time, there's hope.

    Furries in Congress aren't the same as the Highlander, after all.
    ~

  • elviouslyqueer

    *sigh* Between the tweeted junk shots and the affairs with 18-year-old girls, I'm beginning to get all misty-eyed for another good gayboy scandal. Your move, Reince Priebus.

    • horsedreamer_1

      I'll put the word out at Le Cage.

  • horsedreamer_1

    At least he gets cheap dry-cleaning for his costumes.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Wu hoo!

    • horsedreamer_1

      I feel heavy metal!

  • PuckStopsHere

    It sounds like it wasn't his family he was most interested in caring for. What a perv. I happen to own and operate a teenager. Some 56-year-old sicko comes after her and he's getting a 2×4 in the nuts. Then he's getting it up the ass. And then he's going to suck on it. Hard. For a good, long while. It's up to him whether or not he wears the tiger outfit while this is going on.

    • BlueMonkeh

      My 17 year old daughter would take care of the groin kneeing and then would turn it over to her parents and little brother for the follow-up ass-kicking. Then we'd let our Boxers take over. They like to eat fences and siding and dig big holes.

    • MozakiBlocks

      The phrase "well, he needed killin'" does come to mind.

  • Sue4466

    So this mean he changes into his Eeyore costume, right?

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      You sure that is a Tigger suit and not a Hobbes?

      • arcane_allusion

        God no. Do not soil Hobbes with this fool.

        These types of degenerates aspire to be the simplistic Tigger. Now if If he was a genius with a strong moral compass (in congress? yeah right!), then he would aspire to be Hobbes.

        • Geminisunmars

          He looks about as skanky as the Cheetohs cheetah.

  • P_Drizzle

    See, I read "Wu, 56, a seven-SPERM Democrat" and thought: of course he only has seven sperm. He's a liberal pansy.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Wu promises to resign sooner if we all pitch in and buy him an ice cream truck.

  • Crank_Tango

    If there's grass on the savannah, play ball, amirite?

    • DashboardBuddha

      I wish I was making this up, but when I was a teacher, I had a "colleague" who said "if there's no grass on the field, turn her over and play in the mud" to our STUDENTS. This fucker is still a teacher and I left the profession because I couldn't take the politics any more (with very few exceptions, administrators are incompetent, tin hat little empire builders).

      This is OT, I know but I had a sort of PTSD (Post Teaching Stress Disorder) reaction there.

      • Crank_Tango

        understandable.
        you could have also had a reaction to the tiger bit….a fucking tiger man!!! never get out of the fucking boat!!! never get out of the fucking boat!!!!

  • Callyson

    If only we could get the members of Congress who are in bed with the banks and the oil companies to resign now…
    …oh, wait, then we would have about 20 members left at most…
    …then again, if only…

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Pitchin' some wu

  • SmutBoffin

    He is resigning to spend more time with his Oxycontin, unwilling groping victims, and Klingon language tapes.

  • elburritodeluxe

    Can we all just be thankful his name isn't Wang?

    • BlueMonkeh

      HA! Would've have made a nice bookend to the Weiner affair, no?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      But think of all the Wang Chung snarks we could make!!

    • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

      very

  • baconzgood

    Wu-Tang Canned.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Not caned?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Not poon?

      • baconzgood

        typo

  • bigdupa

    At least he's not a homo.

    • LiveToServeYa

      Or a pedo. Not with an 18-year-old. Just a creep.

  • SmutBoffin

    It took 3 days, from accusation to resignation, to get this dumbass out. The FoxNews graphics dept. didn't even have time to put up a "Are all Democrats rapists?" chyron.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    talk about their sordid peen problems

    Perhaps they should be shot peened with a 12 gauge to help relieve surface tension.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I just can't understand this. A 56-year-old jumping on 18-year-old bones. At 52, I am opportunistically/occasionally banging a 30-year-old (who obviously has some daddy issues), and feel a little odd about it, though her attitude about the whole thing allows me to justify it in my head. And she made the first move. But I can't imagine justifying the carnal act with someone that young, especially the friend of one of my kids, and putting the moves on her to boot. Ick.

    • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

      Been there. I kind of freak out when they say "Spank me Daddy!"

    • elburritodeluxe

      you get a thumbs up just for banging a 30 year old

      • BaldarTFlagass

        I figger it's probably the last time in my life I'm gonna have the opportunity with one so young and delectable without just flat out forking over the cash to a professional. And yeah, it feeds the ego just a bit, except when the waitress or bartender says "And what will your daughter be having?"

        • SayItWithWookies

          Just say "Her daddy." That should make things hideously awkward for a while.

          • horsedreamer_1

            In a movie — & you know which type I mean — that would lead to a three-way.

    • James Michael Curley

      You apparently didn't read Lolita under sheets late at night when you were thirteen years old.

      Or, maybe you did.

    • DaRooster

      That's what you get for having a conscience… but you wouldn't be a politician… so there's that.

    • Guppy06

      My personal feelings are that there is a threshold of crazy beyond which I cannot fathom sticking it in, and most teenagers are well beyond that line by default.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    Vitter, are you paying attention?

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Vitter late than never?

      • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

        Ouch! That comment is making me miss the downfist button.

        • Geminisunmars

          Wow. I didn't even notice until I read your comment. I suppose it was done to make McDownfisty's head explode. I don't suppose he was Norwegian, was he?

  • http://theblueelite.blogspot.com simplyblue7

    Oddly enough…the title of this post is actually the title of an adult film ::womp::womp::

  • genxr

    This is serious. When our elected representatives dress up like tigers and signal surrender to the caliphate, or freedumz ar in trubble.

  • widestanceroman

    Et tu, Wu?

  • MissTaken

    “The wellbeing of my children must come before anything else."

    I think staying far, far away from your children at all times is probably the best way to protect their wellbeing, Tigger.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ slowhansolo

    Bad news for Cindy Lou Wu, who was only two…

  • Rosie_Scenario

    We need Al Swearingen to yell "Wu!" I miss "Deadwood." That is all.

  • horsedreamer_1

    "Am I the one who sexually harassed the donor's daughter?"

    "No, man, Wu did it…"

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Well no, like I said, Wu peed on the rug–"

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Some chicks just dig the bow tie more than the blue oval…

  • sezme

    Little-known fact: Wu is Chinese for Weiner.

  • owhatever

    Mrs. Wu now gets to kick him in his sexy parts and throw his sorry ass out the front door. What the hell is with these politicians (both parties) who think this stuff won't catch up to them. Saying sorry after you're caught doesn't work beyond the fifth grade.

  • Geminisunmars

    It had to be Wu
    It had to be Wu
    I wundered around
    And finally found
    The somebody who
    Could make me be true
    Could make me feel blue

  • thefrontpage

    Whew, Wu, you wild with women!

    In November, 2010, of course, the well-being of his friend's children obviously took precedent.

  • thefrontpage

    It would be okay to have legal intercourse or relations with an 18-year-old, but when the actions are alleged to have been unwanted, unwarranted, forced and allegedly against the girl's wishes, that's what takes the incident into Bad Behavior Land.

    If the alleged relations were completely agreed-upon by both involved parties, and everyone agreed to what they did, then Wu should have gotten some type of award.

    • tessiee

      "If the alleged relations were completely agreed-upon by both involved parties, … then Wu should have gotten some type of award."

      What, boinking somebody one-third your age isn't enough of an award?

  • SaintRond

    I defy anyone to put on a Tigger suit and not get a boner.

  • Negropolis

    The "wellbeing of my children" line was the kicker given what we've profiled on Wonkette about his parenting skills that nearly cost him his job a few months back. This guy needs serious, professional help. It's sad it had to come about this way, but apparently, others had tried to get him help and he quite literally ran from them.

  • ttommyunger

    “The wellbeing of my children must come before anything else…." Except the groping of teenage hotties.