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Give us a kiss???Why is Michele Bachmann trying to hypnotize this llama? Llamas are not television cameras, Michele. The llama looks a lot more calm than we would feel with Michele Bachmann right in front of our face like that. Here is a fun fact: Michele is more engaged in creeping out this llama than she is with her elected, salaried job of representing her constituents in Washington. Bachmann has missed nearly 40% of House votes since she began her campaign!

We bet any number of Americans would like this nice gig — a six-figure salary, solid health benefits, ample free time to pursue your personal projects. Getting paid for not working, though? That kind of sounds like… oh, what’s the word again…eh, nevermind.

From The Hill:

Bachmann, the chairwoman of the House Tea Party Caucus who has surged toward the top of the Republican presidential field, has missed 50 of 135 votes since formally announcing her candidacy on June 27 in Waterloo, Iowa.

Bachmann is one of three House members seeking the Republican presidential nomination. Both GOP Reps. Ron Paul (Texas) and Thaddeus McCotter (Mich.) are waging long-shot bids for the party nod.

Paul has missed 25 of 307 votes — about 8 percent — since entering the race May 13. McCotter has missed almost 10 percent: 13 of 135 votes since starting his campaign at the beginning of this month.

It’s also possible that Michele just likes campaigning better than her actual job, since the only bills she has passed to date include a bill to recognize the 150th anniversary of the state of Minnesota three weeks after the fact and a bill recognizing September as “National Hydrocephalus Awareness Month.” Besides that, Minneapolis alt-weekly City Pages notes that she mostly sticks to writing bills no one else will cosponsor, because she is a loon ball:

Despite Bachmann’s early success in the presidential polls, her congressional record is composed almost entirely of confusion and failure. She’s authored bills that not a single other lawmaker will cosponsor; she’s sponsored the exact same failing bills over and over again; she’s entered bills on obscure or trivial topics.

Oh well, at least as long as she is on the campaign trail she isn’t filling up everyone else’s desks with Xerox copies of her pointless legislation scribbled in the margins of Billy Graham Bible study guides. [The Hill/ City Pages]

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  • Barb

    Stupid bitch, you're trying to beat Obama, not a llama. I'd still vote for the llama over her. Vote Barack Ollama!

    • With apologies to Tibet, you prefer the llama over than the dollie?

      • Barb

        See my lower post, lol.

    • tcaalaw

      But where's the llama's long-form birth certificate???

      • Lascauxcaveman

        He's a secrit Vicuña.

        • GunToting[Redacted]

          Secret Stealth Alpaca!

    • CrunchyKnee

      Llamas aint got no birf certificates.

    • Mahousu

      A llama might be a more effective negotiator than Obama: the llama would spit in Boehner's face whenever he started backtracking. Actually, the llama would probably spit in Boehner's face no matter what, which would also be fine.

      • genxr

        Now THAT would bring out the disaffected youth vote!

    • OneDollarJuana

      Obama, llama, ding-dong!

      • tessiee

        As distinct from that director who makes all those assy movies with the surprise endings?

        • GOPCrusher

          Uwe Boll?

    • BitterKlingon

      Ollama hu Barakbar!

  • She is actively engaged in using ex-llama therapy in that pic.

    • genxr

      Pray away the bray?

      • flamingpdog

        More like pray away the spray.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    "Bachmann has missed nearly 40% of House votes since she began her campaign! "

    To be honest, the less time she spends in Congress making actual laws, the better.

    • V572 Hair of Destiny

      The beauty of it is, she doesn't actually make any laws when she is there, so: win-win.

  • Pragmatist2

    Honestly, I'd rather have her not voting than voting.

  • superdave

    So does she support Woman-on-Llama marriage?

  • horsedreamer_1

    IOKIYAR.

    • elviouslyqueer

      That seems to be the prevailing sentiment in the Hill comments. Well, that and "Yea, and how many votes did that boy Obama miss when he was campaigning?"

  • FNMA

    Hey, I think I once saw this act in Tijuana!

    • genxr

      Reaching for the brain bleach now…

    • WhatTheHeck

      What you saw in TJ should stay in TJ.

    • FraAnima
    • GOPCrusher

      A burro wearing a sweater?

  • MinAgain

    The joke's on her. Silly woman thought she was meeting the Dalai Lama.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      She still does.

    • In fairness, the llama's name is Dolly.

      Can't expect too much from our Mama Dizzly, now, can we?

    • DahBoner

      FlwnOvr beat me to it.

      Cheers!

  • Any month in which Bachmann makes a public statement is “National Hydrocephalus Awareness Month.”

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Anencephalis, more like.

      • elviouslyqueer

        Elephantiasis, also.

      • tessiee

        "Hydrocephalus"^^
        "Anencephalis"^

        Can you two guys please stop talking about her dick?

  • ttommyunger

    Give a girl a break, Kirsten! What with only her US Government Farm Subsidies and the meager shitloads of money her Liberace sound-alike hubby brings in from Uncle Sugar for his goober-smooching scam operation, why one can hardly afford Country Club dues anymore, much less private plane travel.

    • johnnymeatworth

      "meager shitload" is my new favorite phrase.

      • ttommyunger

        It do have a certain ring to it.

    • Crank_Tango

      is goober-smooching another term for teabagging? cuz it kinda sounds like it…

      • flamingpdog

        I thought Goober-smooching is what Gomer did on the back lot during breaks in recording Andy's show.

      • ttommyunger

        That would be Redneck for cocksucking.

    • fartknocker

      "Liberace sound-alike hubby"

      Best description of Michelle Bachmann's husband ever coined.

      • ttommyunger

        You must be an old, too. ;)

  • Judging by the look on her face, I'm betting that the next bill she'll sponsor or "write" will be "Kill All Llamas in US America H. R. Bill 666."

  • Come here a minute

    Summertime, and the grifting is easy.

    • "Not if you're releasing a, um, blockbuster documentary and a bus tour to nowhere."
      Sarah Palin

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Praise Murphy! When Michele is trying to seduce llamas at least she isn't in congress trying to fuck over the country. I just feel sorry for the llama.

    • DashboardBuddha

      Imagine how that llama feels. He wakes up in the morning with Michele sleeping on his haunch. The first llama wolf-date!

  • I llama slap her.

    • riverside68

      Send her alpacan?

  • jus_wonderin

    So, we are paying her to campaign. Hmmmmm.

  • Was that llama named "Chimpy"?
    ~

    • V572 Hair of Destiny

      Ha ha, great to see the Chimpy-Miche1e smack again.

    • flamingpdog

      Chimpy probably spit a big one too when Crazy Eyes attacked him.

  • Limeylizzie

    What's with the chunky, sunburned, porcine-faced teens?

    • BaldarTFlagass
    • riverside68

      You don't want to know

      (spoiler alert: remember the 294 foster girls?)

    • Goonemeritus

      That’s what actual farmers daughters look like, don’t let the porno version mislead you. We like to think of them as sturdy and generally we overlook the whole thick ankle thing.

    • freakishlywrong

      Those are the vaunted "real 'Muricans". All three of them.

      • Limeylizzie

        I think some of our Wonketteers of Colour need to impregnate those young women and improve that gene pool.

        • riverside68

          There are not enough wine coolers in the world for that

    • elviouslyqueer

      I'd bet this was taken at the Minnesota State Fair, where the main attraction seems to be gorging yourself on fried shit on sticks.

      • freakishlywrong

        That first pic. Marcus Bachmann's wet dream.

      • V572 Hair of Destiny

        Every state fair is like that. Weird, isn't it?

        • AJWjr.

          If only. MY state doesn't even have a fair anymore.

      • DashboardBuddha

        that's quite the evocative photo. The mustard makes a nice touch…it is mustard, right?

      • ShaveTheWhales

        Hey, compared to lutefisk….

    • Lascauxcaveman

      'Nother bumper crop this year, ayup. Good size on them bumpers. That there's corn-fed; not that tough and stringy grass-fed beef.

    • prommie

      Apparently what they say about the heartland is true. I have a visiting Wisconsonite in my midst, and I attempted to shock and awe her by showing a picture of our Governor Sandwiches McFatFuck, and she did not blink, she said, immediately, and not for effect, "oh, thats what everyone looks like in Wisconsin."

      • Limeylizzie

        Oh Prommie, are you in NJ?

        • prommie

          Yes indeedy, doddily doo. Virtual neighbors. Come visit the Shore sometime! I'll take you out on my Yot. At sea, noone can hear you scream.

    • Jesus, don't we have any more deserving targets for mockery than a bunch of kids with the misfortune to be in a photo with Bachmann?

      • Limeylizzie

        I am feeling mean and bitter today, show me a picture of that Reince Priebus character then, I could really go to town on that bastard.Oh and OT David Wu is resigning now, apparently.

        • fuflans

          well, he's a dem right?

      • prommie

        You are a good man, Mr. Kincaid. But I think the term is "collateral damage." Or, what is called in Afghanistan, "wedding guests."

      • tessiee

        Think of it as a light, palate-cleansing sherbet between Ken's courses of doom and gloom.

    • fuflans

      i spend a lot of time with the peoples of my mother in ontario and outside toronto they look a lot like that.

      actually come to think of it, outside any major city in the continent's midsection they look like that.

    • kissawookiee

      Well, they're standing next to a politician in the summertime, so clearly = Hitler Youth.

    • tessiee

      "What's with the chunky, sunburned, porcine-faced teens? "

      They just got finished pulling a wine cooler-fueled gangbang on Bristle and are in desperate need of some fresh air.

    • flamingpdog

      That's what happens when you take the Norwegians outta Norway. Must be something in the water there. Or in Minnie-sota.

  • RoboGuppy

    Llama, llama ding dong.
    Michelle = ding dong.

  • Barb

    How silly of her. Now she's going to tweet that she met the Dalai Llama.

  • genxr

    This is good news for poor little Bill on Capitol Hill.

  • "Bachmann, the chairwoman of the House Tea Party Caucus who has surged toward the top of the Republican presidential field, has missed 50 of 135 votes since formally announcing her candidacy…"

    Voters can return the favor by not voting for her. I'm starting to think that Michele might actually be worse than Sarah. At least the Snowbilly doesn't directly grift from tax payers.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      …anymore.

    • GOPCrusher

      The woman has not even submitted a single bill since she hit Congress. As far as she's concerned, her sole purpose of being in Congress is to be on camera spewing insanity.

  • metamarcisf

    Her latest bill, co-sponsored by Louie Gohmert, is designed to make Noah's Ark the Official Speedboat of the NFL

    • chicken_thief

      But Louie only agreed on the condition that he gets a weekend with Marcus. You know, so they can attempt to cure each other. From behind.

  • Getting up-close with a llama like that is a good way to get spat on. I learned the hard way. And everything you've heard about their hellish breath and saliva is true.

    • LLAMA LIBEL!!1!

      • I believe that's spelled "LLIBEL".

    • Limeylizzie

      Yes, but the wool from any of those Camelids is fantastic, I knit with Alpaca yarn and it is delicious.

      • The wool is indeed great from either, and alpacas are total sweethearts.

        • Limeylizzie

          I met some llamas and alpacas at the Taos Wool Festival last year-I am a yarn nerd-and they were so beautiful.

          • AJWjr.

            Oh snap–don't tell me you're on ravelry…

          • Limeylizzie

            Natch! Who are you there?

          • AJWjr.

            I'm not, but my friend Emma_Peel is…

          • Limeylizzie

            I have the same name on Ravelry as on Wonkette, but I don't swear on Ravelry or talk about my tits.

          • nonbeliever7

            Tit talk? Damn I miss all the good postings…

          • mumbly_joe

            I'm not sure exactly what Ravelry is, but you manage to make it sound frightfully dreary.

          • Limeylizzie

            It's a worldwide knitting site…so I stifle my impulses as there are a lot of nice older ladies from Ohio and the like on there.

          • flamingpdog

            Stop stifling your impulses. It will be a lot more humane end for the older ladies that what they'll be receiving from the tattered remains of Medicare in a few years here.

      • tessiee

        "I knit with Alpaca yarn and it is delicious"

        ???
        I'm not sure you're doing that right, Llizzie.

        • Limeylizzie

          Ok it feels, not tastes, delicious.

          • tessiee

            Aw, I'm just funnin' with ya, Lizzie
            .
            Here in Oregon, there are a number of farms that have llamas and alpacas, and they are just amazing, with their fluffy fur, sweet faces, and long-lashed eyes — as though they were invented by six-year-old girls. I have an alpaca sweater that I bought years ago, and you're right, their fur (hair? wool?) is as soft as a dream.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      I would have given up one of my kids if that llama had spat on her…

    • tessiee

      "Getting up-close with a llama like that is a good way to get spat on."

      And this is a problem, why?

    • riverside68

      I don't care what you say about llamas, Batshit-Crazy wins everytime

      If that llamas got any sense, she will get the F away ASAP

      (You don't think BsC gets those "migranes" from being scared of animals do you? She gets migranes from lack of fresh blood.)

  • Bachmann has missed nearly 40% of House votes since she began her campaign!

    Attention, teabagger Congresscritters: The Lord is calling all of you to run for Preznit.

    Please get to campaigning now, for Christ's sake.
    ~

    • OneDollarJuana

      Sounds like a good point to bring up by any opponents.

  • jus_wonderin

    When pressed, Bachmann said, “I’m not doing an interview with you now.”

    "…I am seducing this Llama because I don't get any at home."

  • Llamas everywhere should be mortified by this pic.
    Which reminds me of an earlier one featuring another dim bimbo.. All that's missing is the flag desecration but Bachmann is making up for that by pissing on the stature of her office instead.

  • genxr

    Actually I think the llama is whispering to her. Remember who is smarter in this picture.

  • arihaya

    did she set up fake ranch/farm also?

    if yes then she is shoe-in for GOP nomination

    • PubOption

      Look at her upper arms, seems to be a farmer's tan there.

  • Callyson

    This wouldn't be the first time Michele supported welfare…from City Paper:
    she tried to add a pro-life section to the Social Security Act to pay for a variety of things that would discourage women from having abortions.
    It's interesting just how far-reaching Bachmann imagined this bill to be. It proposes to fund "any other service designed to assist a qualified individual who is a woman" — that "woman" part is probably important — "to carry her unborn child to term…including the provision of…baby food, maternity or baby clothing, baby furniture, or information or education (including classes), regarding prenatal care, childbirth, adoption, parenting, chastity, or abstinence."
    Essentially, this bill is offering chunks of money — under the broad label of "any other service" — just to stop a woman from having an abortion. Normally Bachmann doesn't support welfare handouts, but in this case she's willing to use unlimited piles of taxpayer money to pay for diapers, Gerbers, and chastity classes.
    *and*
    Bachmann isn't above introducing bills that seem tailored just for her.
    On April 23, 2009, the congresswoman pushed for a law that would authorize state money to send foster kids to private schools. On top of tuition, the state dollars would also cover transportation costs.
    This probably seemed like a fantastic idea to a woman with 23 foster kids and a distaste for the public school system.
    But she won't vote to raise the debt ceiling. That would be bad.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I'm wondering how "chastity or abstinence" is going to help a woman carry her unborn child to term. Not hard to see why nobody will co-sponsor the mindless stream-of-consciousness crap she comes up with.

      Oh, and shouldn't her so-called "salary" run out after 99 weeks?

    • tessiee

      She may be a nut and a thoroughly reprehensible human being, but this?

      "including the provision of…baby food, maternity or baby clothing, baby furniture, or information or education (including classes), regarding prenatal care, childbirth, adoption, parenting"

      I have to say, is at least preferable to the kind of shitbags who want to outlaw abortion and birth control and also cut funding for mothers and babies.

      • Ruhe

        I agree. It's weird that she went that way. I've thought for a long time that the best strategy for pro-choice dems to pursue would be to constantly challenge their dingbat counterparts to put their money where their mouth is and enact broad subsidies to support the actual carrying, birthing and raising of these precious fetuses they care so much about.

  • OkieDokieDog

    One L Michele wants that llama's L.

  • Duly_Noted

    I think continuing her salary while she's on the campaign trail is a small price to pay for keeping her out of the House.

    • Hopefully Barry will be stopping the paychecks for all of Congress and their staphs on August 2nd. That'll learn 'em.

    • flamingpdog

      Agreed. The first boss I ever had in gubmint service used to come in at 8AM and talk on the phone for half an hour and go MIA for the rest of the day until 4:30 PM when he would come back in and talk on the phone for another half hour. We would grind our teeth that he was getting paid for doing almost nothing, but were grateful at the same time because on those rare occasions he actually attempted to "work" ( = bluster and throw his weight around), he invariably would phuck up what had been a smoothly-running operation in his absence.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Hey, Bachmann's not a failure, she's just ahead of her time — sooner or later we're going to want to pass a bill that adds the Nicene Creed to the Pledge of Allegiance, or the one that prohibits daycare centers from being run in accordance with Sharia law, or the one that prohibits building a tower so high it reaches heaven and offends The LORD. Just you wait.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Well, that first one obviously wouldn't pass the Senate, as it's clearly a church/state conflict, and the Senate, being the smarter ones, would catch that.

      But those other two would pass both houses, easy, with significant Dem support. I mean, c'mon, it's all about the jobs!

    • flamingpdog

      Not so sure the last one would pass, but I'm sure she would never introduce it. Building another Tower of Babel would be a memorial to Crazy Eyes herself.

  • LettucePrey

    I thought all Wonketeers were getting paid while not working? Also.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Oh shit — busted. Even so, I've gotten stuff done, lazy bastard that I am.

    • flamingpdog

      I only participate in Wonkette on my four-hour lunch break or my two, two-hour cigarette breaks.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Good to see ole Fernando Llamas still has it going on.

    • metamarcisf

      She looks marvelous. Absolutely marvelous.

      • PuckStopsHere

        What's going to happen to your immense neg p-ness w/out the downfist button?

        • Breitbart's sites still have the downfist button…

        • riverside68

          is that a uterus?

    • Thurman Munster IV

      You think mebbe that Michele and her hubby are into rich Corinthian leather?

      • SayItWithWookies

        I'll bet at least one of 'em's into leathery Corinthians.

    • tessiee

      I think that may actually be his son, Llorenzo Llamas.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Asked earlier this month whether she would forfeit some of her congressional salary, Bachmann replied, “No comment.” When pressed, Bachmann said, “I’m not doing an interview with you now.”

    Shorter Michele: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! MIGRAINES! LESBIANS! ACK!

  • Goonemeritus

    I know Michele is leading in votes missed but I still think she isn’t really applying herself sure missing 40% is a lot by I have faith in her. Given enough focus I think she could and should miss 100%.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Can we get her to use 40% less oxygen? Again, a bigger number is better, but 40% is a good starting point.

      • OneDollarJuana

        If you have been listening to her over the years, it's apparent that she is often using less oxygen.

      • flamingpdog

        Give her 40 % more carbon dioxide. After all, it's naaaatural and there are no gubmint studies that show it is dangerous.

  • riverside68

    She's no Katherine Harris, Katherine wouldn't put up with that Frenchie kissing business

    Katherine Harris would be ridding that llama, with a tight alpaca sweater

    Sigh, I miss Katherine

    • fuflans

      in five short years, republicans have now managed to make kitty look sane.

    • tessiee

      "I miss Katherine"

      Drive through Crackton any afternoon, and you can see her double.
      Saturday night live had the definitive word on Katherine Harris, "That bitch. She looks divorced."

      • riverside68

        Is that similar to "rode hard, put to bed wet?"

    • flamingpdog

      Pfft, you just miss her haboobs.

      • riverside68

        If you are refering to sweater puppies on a horse

        I Know Nothing about that sir dog

        . . . (she sure knew how to ride em tho)

  • jus_wonderin

    Well, that llama might be scarred from this encounter with Michele, but atleast it wasn't sniped from a helicopter.

  • fartknocker

    Kristen, that picture is absolutely precious. After a shitty morning dealing with the numbnuts at Time Warner Cable I say thank you for making me smile.

    And all you other Wonketters – fight the good fight. Your comments are spot on.

  • user-of-owls

    confusion and failure

    So very, very apt.

  • ♪♫ Michele's a one aye, many nayed
    Flying furple logic eater… ♫♪

    ♪♫ Ooo eee, ooo, ah, ah
    Ting, tang, she's a llama, llama ding dong ♫♪

    so many songs, so little time…

    • tessiee

      Just don't mention "Surfin' Bird", or else we'll all…

      Oopsie.

  • LiveToServeYa

    Llame

  • I hear she doodles all day and tries to submit that as a bill.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Like the Jackie Treehorn doodle, just a stick man with greatly exaggerated genitalia.

  • Was that llama purchased with Ameros?

  • metamarcisf

    She's gonna ride her llama
    From Peru to Texarkana

    • ThundercatHo

      I wish she'd ride it good, to her old neighborhood (and fucking stay there). Oh, and STFU, also, too.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Stop it, people. Jesus told her to run, so it's okay if she skips on the votes. Would you tell Jesus no?

    • Steverino247

      Only if He wanted to go to Third Base.

      • tessiee

        Yeah, you'd think so, but you're forgetting the fact that He can turn Pepsi into wine coolers.

        • flamingpdog

          Nancy Reagan just said "no" to magic mushrooms, not Jesus. Oh, wait, same thing?

        • Steverino247

          It's been so long since I had to worry about getting whatever happens at Third Base, I've forgotten what it is you actually get.

  • metamarcisf

    Tarzan and Cheetah want to know why no down thumbs no more on Wonkette. What deal? Palin mad too. Must fix.

    Tarzan, Cheetah & Palin, Attys at Law.

  • "Despite Bachmann’s early success in the presidential polls, her congressional record is composed almost entirely of confusion and failure."

    One of the better sentences I have read today.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Ain't llamas from down south of the USA, from whence spring forth the undocumented brownz about which we hear so much?

    • GortRay

      Yeah, I think they're some kind of Messicans, like Chilis or Guats or something.

    • ThundercatHo

      Finish the dang fence!

  • PuckStopsHere

    I'd like to see her blow a goat, but I guess a Llama will do. In a pinch.

    • prommie

      I think her hubby is the one who blows the goats.

    • MrFizzy

      PETA ain't gonna like that one little bit.

    • DashboardBuddha

      If I build a home, do they call me Michele the Builder? No! If I dig for gold, do they call me Michele the Miner? No!

      But you blow one llama…

    • flamingpdog

      I'd prefer to see her go blow a dead bear. It would keep her occupied longer, and it would be like blowing her hubby, so she wouldn't mind.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Make it a hibernating bear, and I'll buy tickets.

  • bflrtsplk

    "Does anyone here speak llama? Mine's a little rusty."

    • tessiee

      *raises hand hesitantly*
      I speak jive.

  • widestanceroman

    That llama can smell where her mouth has been and wants no part of it.

  • JoshuaNorton

    Bachmann has missed nearly 40% of House votes

    You say that as if it were a bad thing.

  • MinAgain

    It's a double-edged sword. On the one hand, she's not doing her job as a representative. OTOH, she's insane, so her failure to vote is probably a good thing.

  • x111e7thst

    Advice to llama. If Bachmann tries to kiss you avoid her tongue at all costs.

  • DashboardBuddha

    Michele's new campaign song

  • fuflans

    she's looking a little 'lizard people' like isn't she?

  • Redhead

    "her congressional record is composed almost entirely of confusion and failure"
    Wait wait wait. I thought "Undefeated" was the story of Sarah Palin's political "career," not Bachmann's.

  • orygoon

    All I got is borrowed:

    " The one-l lama,
    He's a priest.
    The two-l llama,
    He's a beast.
    And I will bet
    A silk pajama
    There isn't any
    Three-l lllama."

    Odgen Nash, of course

    • MinAgain

      Bow down.

  • genxr

    That look on her face shows her reaction to another "gotcha" question from the llama stream media.

  • kissawookiee

    There was an old Inca from Puno
    Who said, "There is one thing I do know.
    A woman is fine, and a sheep is divine,
    But a llama is numero uno."

  • Thurman Munster IV

    Yay! It's no downfist Tuesday. Upfists for everyone, including the one for Boehner's ass

  • Oblios_Cap

    the only bills she has passed to date include a bill to recognize the 150th anniversary of the state of Minnesota three weeks after the fact and a bill recognizing September as “National Hydrocephalus Awareness Month.”

    That's a good thing!

  • KotBR

    Poor Michelle, she thought she was getting on a reality show when she got the invitation from 'Lorenzo's Llamas'…

  • Eve8Apples

    She's one of those people who actually does her employer a favor by not showing up to work.

  • I'm pretty sure that's a gay llama…

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Jeebus, woman, did you steal that dress from leftover costumes tossed out from an episode of Doris Day's sixties sitcom by any chance?

    There's a reason many sixties fashions died. If Marcus picked out that dress for you, you're going to have to find another ex-gay "friend" to pick out your clothing.

    • AJWjr.

      I'm guessing it was sewn together by one of her dozens of foster girls from an old Mode O' Day pattern.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    From Michele's look, I'm betting the Llama is a lesbian.

    • tessiee

      A Llesbian llama?
      Who knew that there was such a thing as llivestock that lliked to llick…

      *abashed*
      OK, I'll stop now.

  • Nostrildamus

    Michele to llama: Have you ever been in Patagonia? Would you like to be? I'm wearing them.

  • mumbly_joe

    Well, it's not like she spent a good chunk of the past couple of years telling preposterous lies about the frequency with which Obama had voted "present" as a legislator or anything, so I don't see the problem.

  • Sticking with our editor's livestock theme, went to our beloved Sparky McDownfister's IntenseDebate profile and see that the annoying sheeple is following 1,103. Sweet baby jebus Sparky is stalking a grand plus. How long before ol' Sparky pullz out the gun and starts shooting?

    • AJWjr.

      I'm good with it, as long as he starts with himself.

    • ThundercatHo

      I'd like to remind Sparky McSpankypants that some libunatics own guns, too. My hubby took out a groundhog at 60 yds with a .22 pistol last night. Also, that liberal hunting permit that somebody linked to the other day really creeped me the hell out.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Is there a way to pay the entire rest of the Republican conference to stay out of Washington?

    • ThundercatHo

      Perhaps lure them the county fairs with the promise of tame livestock and deep-fried twinkies?

    • flamingpdog

      Learn a lesson from Iraq – large pallettes of cash might help.

  • owhatever

    You are getting sleepy, Michele. Your eyelids are heavy. Now lay down and get comfortable. We're about to make a little llama.

  • Nopantsmcgee

    How'd they get that llama in that pretty yellow dress is what I want to know.

  • AJWjr.
  • Buckminster

    Let's see if I've got this straight:
    1. Welfare is bad.
    2. Government if bad.
    3. But government spending that benefits the Bachmanns is ok?

    My head asploded.

  • Steverino247

    Again with the "O" face photos of Michele…

  • tessiee

    If I absolutely HAD to pay her for SOMETHING?
    Crazy going to the zoo is significantly better (or at least less harmful) than crazy making the laws that the rest of us have to follow.

  • poorgradstudent

    Michelle Bachmann is more Sarah Palin than Sarah Palin.

  • justkillmenow

    Kind of OT, but…
    Sis who works in Ankeny, IA cruised by a Bachmann campaign stop over lunch, but sadly Crazy Eyes was running late. Only a couple of news outlets on hand (FOX of course) and no Teatards in tricorner hats.
    Oddly, this stop is at a deli. Seems a little ethnic and elitist for Michele.

  • GOPCrusher

    September is Waterhead Awareness Month?
    Just another Hallmark invented holiday.

  • Manhattan123

    If that llama had spit in her face, or whatever it is llamas do, I would have made it King of the Llamas.

  • DahBoner

    Michelle Bachman: Stoned Again…

  • An_Outhouse

    I used to have drapes with the same pattern as her dress. They smelled like cigarette smoke and vomit.

    • randcoolcatdaddy

      "I just saw it in the window and couldn't resist."

  • You know who else thought their eyes had special powers?

    • GOPCrusher

      Cyclops?

    • flamingpdog

      Clark Kent?

    • Marty Feldman?

    • HelmutNewton

      Dracula?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Medusa.

  • YasserArraFeck

    Q: What does a llama have two of, that Michele Bachmann only has one of?

    1. Testicles
    2. "l"s
    3. Brain cells
    4. "All of them, Katie"

  • Iam_Who_Iam

    Me neither, I was just able to find a link to this post. Where have all of our Wonkettes gone? I feel a panic coming on! I need a fix, and I need it now!

    • Limeylizzie

      I'm here. Iam_Who_Iam, don't worry your pretty, little head about it.

  • Iam_Who_Iam

    Oh phew! I found them… they are all here: http://wonkette.com/450077/yet-another-pro-life-o

  • Pragmatist2

    A one "l" lama is a priest
    A two "l" llama is a beast
    But I would bet a silk pajama
    You'll never see a three "l" lama.
    Ogden Nash

  • JackObin

    Well, we can add poor taste in clothing to this ridiculous fool's long list of stupidity. NEVER wear yellow prints to a llama show.

  • HelmutNewton

    Confusion and Failure. Now THERE'S a disturbingly accurate campaign slogan if I ever heard one.

  • DemonicRage

    This reminds me of people who bothered to count the number of times that State Senator Obama or US Senator Obama voted himself "present," rather than taking a stand on issues that came before the legislative body of which he was a part. Who cares about these statistics? She is out there, putting eye liner on, reminding us of how many children she funded as foster children, and how many gay men her husband "cured" by life management. Her base doesn't care about statistics such as the ones that you have tallied here. It's all about the deep sense of personal satisfaction each one of them feels, every time she looks into the camera (or off to the side, depending on how she feels that day) and says the magic mantra, "I know that President Obama will be A ONE TERM PRESIDENT!"

  • comrad_darkness

    Who is looking after her 23 kids? Please don't reply "Marcus" . . .

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      It's OK …they're all girls.

  • salt_bagel

    Llama, huh?

    Hmm Listen Wonkete. This, is not communist Mexico. How hard is it to SPEAK SOME ENGLISH? SOLDIERS ARE DIEING FOR YOUR FREEDOM and u have to use a SPANAISH word???Call it what t is and Respect! those who protect us!

  • No tongues!

  • RociStone

    The poor gal must feel so inadequate.. The Llama can spit farther, has a better personality, is more truthful, and actually performs a useful function in the culture where it comes from. Poor Crazy Eyes", always coming off second best…

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