Barack Obama interrupted whatever Americans were watching on their teevees tonight to give an important update regarding the impending bankruptcy of the United States and the decades-long, bloody chaos and societal decay that will follow. Why is he such a Glum Gladys? Because despite agreeing to almost everything the extremist corporate right wing has demanded, there are still a few “entitlements” that jaundiced alcoholic errand boy John Boehner needs to also eliminate so that his overlords don’t get angry and maybe cut off his boozebag. For example, there are still some limited “Social Security” and “Medicare” programs remaining in effect, under Ronald Reagan Junior’s Barack Obama’s capitulation plan. So, the United States government will probably default on its gazillions of national debt, and all the sick people and old people who aren’t part of the lucky-ducky 1/3 of Americans completely covered by private health insurance will be crowded into self storage facility parking lots, to die. And schools will all close, and interest rates will shoot up to 27% for mortgages and 49% for credit cards, and Harry Potter will be killed by Voldemort, who will also strangle the ghost of Jesus with a bloodied American flag and then tenderly fellate the Koch Brothers, internally, with His quadruple rows of poison fish teeth. Welcome to the Era of Long Pain.
Let’s see, is there a video of this? Ah, sure, here. Notice how Boehner transparently reads some talking points he was given long before Obama’s slightly more convincing performance. Also notice how almost everyone in this country has stopped caring completely, because with something like half the nation either unemployed or underemployed or “enjoying early retirement at 51″ and all but the very richest saddled with awful debt for basic human needs like housing and school and medical care, and 45 million people (half of them children) evading hunger only by using federal government food stamps, and the world melting and nothing but misery and horror in the future for nearly everyone for simply doing what they were told these past couple of bogus decades, it does seem ridiculous to care too much about how these multi-millionaires and billionaires are going to carve up the carcass of the United States. The devil take ‘em all, right? Because we’re already ruined right now, forever.
Roll the tape, Internet:
It is time to wash our hands of the whole thing, just like Pontius Pilate said: “Lava su manos.” Take what you need from those who have way too much. Share what you’ve got with those who aren’t strong enough to take what they need. Kill your teevee (with your iPhone). If there’s a nice empty house on your block with a piece of paper in the window saying nobody can live there, make sure some nice people move in. Give a hoot.
(And if you’re in California, there are seventy state parks about to close because California won’t collect taxes from the biggest, richest companies in the world, either. Go “volunteer” at a state park, keep the Mexican drug gangs from turning all of that public land into pesticide-poisoned pot farms, too. Did you know basically all the national forests in Northern California are already used for these purposes? And while pot growing in the forest may sound like a pleasant thing, you will be shot dead for “trespassing” on these heavily armed farms. This country has totally defaulted, already.)
Here is some other video from Ronald Reagan’s disastrous presidency and the long recession of the 1980s:
MISOGYNIST CREEP PLAYOFFS! by everythingisterrible
{ 261 comments }
Gather ye anus burgers while ye may,
Old Boehner is a-crying.
And the country that used to rock,
now, (thanks teabaggers) is dying.
I have miles to go before my hoveround juice goes dead,
miles to go before my hoveround juice goes dead.
Buy guns, antibiotics, and gold.
While you can.
Oh, and maybe kerosene. It keeps longer than gasoline, unless you add the anti-shellac pills.
The End Is Nigh! And — Boy, Howdy — will it be fun to watch.
Whale oil yes or no?
I'm thinking it can't hurt
Teabaggers have more fat … just sayin.
But it's not anywhere as good as quality spermaceti which burns so clean and fresh
And they will run out of battery juice for their hoverrounds and will be very slow moving. That's my backup plan too.
Then I'll put some tables out on my porch and paint up a sign that says Whistle Stop Cafe, Pork Roast Special $9.99 Buy two, get one free.
"Teabaggers have more fat … just sayin."
Yeah, but they're full of toxins from all the chemicals in that shit they eat.
Thanks for reminding me I should also sell candles.
Way ahead of you… Just acquired a used 870. Should be great for hunting feral cats for food! I'm thinking #4 birdshot… Wide enough pattern, but large enough to clean out of the meat.
Wingmaster, or one of the tactical variants? Details, Man!
Express Magnum. Parkerized, composite furniture, 26″ barrel. Nice thing is I can get a 20″ w/ rifle sights so I can pick off poachers raiding my cat farm. Already have an 1100 and a Beretta over/under, so I needed a pump in my stable.
What about hobo beans?
our elected representatives are a perfect reflection of the electorate: COMPLETE FUCKING RETARDS!
Well you have hit that nail on the head, Jack Daniels anyone.
And faux tanned assholes as well. Also.
I sometimes worry that if it wasn't for his periodic returns to Wonkette for the purposes of spleen-ventage, Ken would've long since snapped and gone crazy, Norway-style.
No, Ken strikes me as a going crazy Burning Man style. That's what neo-hippies do, right?
Or maybe Michael Douglas in Falling Down?
when Ken says light me up he's asking for a match
Now when Neilist says light me up, you better get out of the room and the town
Does Eric Cantor run a summer camp by chance?
Eric Cantor wishes the pussy liberals would shut up about Norway, since his political camp got shot up too!
(i.e. someone found a Minie ball on the grounds)
Well he is a big libertarian or lefty or summit like I hear that guy was…. so it would probably follow or something.
Umm, Ken, it's HORIZONTAL to the veins in a WARM bath, is that right?
It's vertical. The bath temp is up to you.
I always heard that vertical made it too easy to stop the bleeding; if you really want to open those babies up you slit 'em down the length and nobody'll ever close 'em up. All this is assuming you're serious about this shit and not just making some sort of bullshit statement.. For the bullshit statement you should just take a shitload of pills, leave the bottle out so they can immediately see what you took and call 9-1-1 before you finish swallowing so you don't forget.
http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp08312004.shtml
Last panel explains it all.
Eggs Ackley!
Today, we are all Marat.
I haz the Sadez.
In case the troll comes by, just know I upfisted that.
Pay attention bumfug – no downfitsties anymore, see?
Damn, I really need to be more aware of my surroundings!
I'd rather be Charlotte Corday, with the right-wing hate mongers as Marat.
Down the river, not across the street.
Dude, the Republican thieves are so not fucking worth it. Even in jest. If you want to toss your life up in the air just to see how it lands, walk your ass to the Peace Corps office and volunteer. This political bullshit is only that. Not real.
Or at least take a few of the scumbags with you.
No no, they live and breathe martyrdom when it isn't even real. Don't do them the favor.
Less filling, tastes great, reagan reagan reagan.
I, for one, welcome our chinese overlords.
Needz moar ketchup.
What really sucks is that when we default and can only pay part of our bills, you know it's gonna be the poorz and the oldz that will have to stand in line behind Hu Jintao.
I haz a sad cause Mandrin is so harsh sounding.
I wish we had been taken by a romance language people
It would be easier to pretend the unlubed buttsex was consensual, at least the laughter wouldn't be so grating
We can all pretend we're Dodge, owned by the Eye-tals…
The romance languages are all deeply in debt. Romance will do that to you.
*unsuccessfully suppressed snorty laugh through nose*
TELL me about it!
Mandarin is like the German of East Asia. Japenese can be pretty harsh, too, but it seems far more nimble and refined-sounding to my ears.
Welcome to the suck.
If you get out one of those Goodes Atlas atlases, the ones that beak down geographical regions by temperature, mineral distribution and so forth, you may notice that the USA happens to occupy the richest swath of land in the world.
No matter how hard the traitorous Republicans try, and no matter how much clueless Americans accidentally collude, I don't think that the Republicans can get away with destroying this country before enough people notice. We are just too rich, too naturally resilient.
Or at least, so I hope.
Doesn't even include the stuff on the continental shelves which are far easier to access than most other countries.
Doesn't matter how much the country has, if 80 percent of it belongs to the fucking Koch Brothers and their fellow plutocrats.
Take it from them. They can't stop us all.
And you think the Chinese have not noticed this also?
You need to watch the movie To Live
The story begins some time in the 1940s. Xu Fugui (Ge You) is a local rich man's son and compulsive gambler, who loses his family property to a man named Long'er. His behaviour also causes his long-suffering wife Jiazhen (Gong Li) to leave him, along with their daughter, Fengxia and their unborn son, Youqing.
(Does anything here sound familiar? Well just watch what happens next.)
After he loses his entire family fortune, Fugui eventually reunites with his wife and children, but is forced to start a shadow puppet troupe with a partner named Chunsheng, using puppets donated by Long'er to support his family. The Chinese Civil War is occurring at the time, and both Fugui and Chunsheng are conscripted into the Kuomintang during a performance.
I think that is enough to give you the idea. (It doesn't even warm up until the Culture Revolution.)
I love Gong Li. She is the incomparable sufferer.
Chinese movies and stories often have themes of sacrifice for the community or the next generation. It's very Confucian.
The quintessential Western story is The Ugly Duckling. The "duckling" is spurned until circumstances bring to light his or her true value. Everyone has value in some way.
The quintessential Chinese story is the monks who take a day off from hauling water to the monastery and it burns down for lack of water. DO YOUR DUTY!
The West: The squeaky wheel gets the grease
The East: The nail that sticks up gets pounded down
"The quintessential Western story is The Ugly Duckling. The "duckling" is spurned until circumstances bring to light his or her true value. Everyone has value in some way.
The quintessential Chinese story is the monks who take a day off from hauling water to the monastery and it burns down for lack of water. DO YOUR DUTY! "
The quintessential corporate story is the monk who hauls water until he drops dead from exhaustion, at which point the Koch Bros. step over his body, sneer "plenty more where he came from", steal his wallet, and then piss in the water.
I want to agree with you, I really do.
However, just because we *have* the resources won't stop the sociopaths running the show from hogging them up under armed guard a la "Darwin's Nightmare"*.
*if you're not familiar with the movie, it's a documentary about a lake in Africa where the fish are literally guarded at gunpoint so the poorz can't catch and eat them.
When looking for the sanity of a Ronald Regan as an outpost of rational thought, it is time to say screw it, whisky please.
And a revolver, as I'm going for a long walk in the woods.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one that dead-ended in a thicket to blow my brains out on, and that has made all th
This thread is really going to piss off my followers as there is no downfist button tonight, this morning.
Ken Layne is his own downfisty.
What is up with the upfist only? Forced positivity? I think I like it.
It's inspired by Facebook — you can only "Like" things, not "Dislike" things.
I know. This whole post was making me very sorry that I had no *Prozac handy but when I saw that it cheered me right up. Take that you motherfucking trolls.
*If you chop it up with a razor blade and snort it does it work faster?
I wish I had a tomato soup dispenser that doubled as a sink.
I hear in Australia, it's split pea and hamster soup and it drains counterclockwise.
The Aussie variation on the "floater".
The PIE one. Sheesh.
Ken, this was my favorite post from you, ever. What a fine rant. Reminds me of the last time I sniffed tulinol fumes from that dirty rag. Anyway, virtually everything you said was true, so I'm going to go hang myself now, so people poorer than me won't end up murdering me for my sack of rice and bottled water stash.
CHUCK. FUCKING. WOOLERY???????????????????
I stopped reading when you said "tenderly fellate the Koch brothers."
Boner: I want to destroy 240 million lives!
Obama: I want to destroy only 200 million lives!
Boner: No.
Obama: 238 million lives, and that's my final offer.
Boner: 250 Million lives.
Obama: 248, final offer.
Boner: No.
Obama: OK, for the good of the country, we'll ruin 250 million lives.
Boner: Not good enough.
Is that what Obama meant by compromise?
I think all the stress has made poor Barry confuse compromise with being in a compromising position .
Yes. What you said. How did yo get the bug into the negotiations at the White House?
Optimist
A pox on both your houses.
Ron Paul: How about letting the free market decide?
Thank goodness he doesn't have to haggle with the gourd merchant.
Did any of y'all watch the speeches? Obama came on and said "Please call your Congressman and ask him to beg the Republicans to be reasonable." Boehner said "…it's not going to happen…" See the difference? "Pretty please" versus "fuck you". And this is a day after Obama says, OK, sure, no taxes for rich people. All cuts. Everything you asked for.
We need the brother to go street. But he won't, because he just doesn't have the fight in him. God, but I am depressed.
I heard it. And your synopsis is spot on.
Currently, Harold Ford Jr. is more "street" than our Hoepy.
Gotta stay real to impress the likes of Julia Allison.
I think I would rather watch starving Somalis than that stuff – at least the Somalis don't have a choice, thus it's possible to have great sympathy for them. I strongly supported Obama, but he is a colossal pussy. I think Hillary would've kicked some ass by this point, but we will never know.
I'm having a similar buyer's remorse. Hillary always rubbed me wrong and probably for the wrong reasons (as a native of New York state, I resented that she moved to NY solely for an open and winnable Senate seat), but I suspect that she would not be a pushover in dealing with this incorrigible group of mouth breathers.
Maybe. But you can't assume that Hillary wouldn't be using the same triangulation algorithm that Barry is using. That vile tool is in every Democrat's kit and most of them end up using it eventually because they realize that a sizable portion of the electorate will consistently vote against their own best interests out of fear, hate and stupidity.
Her husband perfected the use of That Vile Tool.
Every now and then I try to call my representative, who is no longer my representative, but is rather my new senator, and everyone knows which way Dean Heller votes, anyway…
I was really hoping that Barry would throw in a couple of "fucks" in his speech. Now? I'm inventorying my ammunition and putting it where it's readily accessable and glad that my Concealed Carry is current.
Are Hoverounds made in America? I feel like going and blowing up their factory right about now.
This scooter-person survived being HIT BY A TRAIN while out scooting. So you can try blowing up the factory, but I don't rate your chances of success.
Can't even fucking kill old people with bullet trains now, damn!
You need not worry about the long-term survivability of any business whose main source of income is Medicare.
They're basically first up against the wall.
It's a CORPORATION. I'll believe they have to prove the worth of their existence, actual capitalist style, when it actually fucking happens.
Not holding my breath.
But the science is still out on whether or not humans are a contributing factor to global butt-raping.
When Obama was giving his plan during the speech, I swear I thought he was describing the Republican plan. It was just freaky. It was basically "hemlock or arsenic?"
I would make reference to going through the looking glass or down the rabbit hole, but we've long since arrived at our destination. It's like how we got some measly crumbs in the form of unemployment extension for blowing an even bigger whole in revenues just a few months ago. Now, we're going to get the debt ceiling raised – something that's been routine for decades – but the cost of it will be tens-of-thousands of jobs and immeasurable changes in quality of life.
BTW, I wish Obama was Ronnie Jr., but he's turning out to be more like Michael, lately.
Hope/Jabberwocky 2012
So, does Obama repeal "Obamacare" before or after his re-elect?
"When Obama was giving his plan during the speech, I swear I thought he was describing the Republican plan. It was just freaky. It was basically "hemlock or arsenic?" "
The late, great Molly Ivins wrote a piece about how, when you're hit by a tornado or similar catastrophe, it may be bad, but then it passes on and it's over with; but when you're in a drought, there's nothing you can do but watch it get worse day by day, and hope that it's going to get better eventually, and get your hopes crushed a little bit more every day that it doesn't.
Bush was a tornado (or eight years of repeated tornadoes, actually). Obama is a drought.
Bush was like a series of a hurricanes with sustained gale-force winds.
And too sober.
Boner's response sounds like a fucking campaign ad.. We're so fucked.
Conservatives love to spout a bunch of shit about how "liberals hate America"– if this isn't a demonstration of what party really hates America, I don't know what is.
♫ Tin soldiers and Boner's coming,
We're finally on our own.
This summer I hear the drumming,
We're fucked by Ohio. ♫
Gotta get down to it,
Baggers are cutting us down.
Shoulda been done long ago.
Don't blame me; I voted for President Zhong, and the happy, glorious Chimerica Communist Party. I hear Beijing is pretty nice this time of year…if you're able to avoid the Haboobs and assorted crushing air pollution.
"avoid the Haboobs"
Are they jollier than regular boobs?
You could say that, if by "jollier" you mean "all encompassing hell-storms."
And the American people get exactly what they voted for.
Let's hope we survive this learning experience.
Psst…we're the "American people," too.
Not the ones that count, obvs, unless you're including the corporate sponsors that buy the ad space around here.
Look at us! Look at how we're dressed! We wanted it! Oh yeah. Do we like that? Huh?
I'm not sure where the better analogy lies: the American people locked in a secret sex dungeon, churning out babies since age 12 and having long since gone full Stockholm Syndrome; or the American people turning tricks to try to afford the next hit of sweet, sweet Georgia Objectivisim between the toes.
Problem being, too many American people were too fucking lazy or disenfranchised to get off their asses to vote in 2010. You would have thought after 8 years of the Bush Misadministration, America would have learned it's lesson. Maybe we are really too stupid to remain a country?
REthuggieion creed "Take what you can when you can".
They learned it from N.I.M.H.
"They learned it from N.I.M.H."
The National Institute of Mental Health?
Shhhhh! Spoilers, it's a surprise. (1982) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084649/
If you haven't watched this movie you must, Pixar ain't shit compared to the 70s and early 80s toon cinema , mind fuck city!
It was Taco night so I didn't see any of it.
What does any of that even mean?
Too bad. Missed a good buttrape. Catch it on the replay.
Dude, exactly the same thing here! We're like triplets…only there's two of us.
Oh fuck it, already. Let the race wars begin:
Do you accept people from the other side?
I would totally commit genocide for some decent BBQ.
Hey, wait, Fox News says whitey is all washed up. The darks have already taken over, sez Sean. What gives? Somebody has to be wrong.
We are all minority now.
Yes, but some of us are more minority than others…
This should totally pass without incident. The piles of guns we all have should protect us all.
What was that clicking sound?..
I think it was Chuck Woollery who said, finally, "hell is other people."
Jean-Paul Sartre might have something to say about that.
Thus proving Chuck Woollery correct!
Could we please just go ahead and install Michele Bachmann in the White House today? It would be much more sweet to go quickly, if not quietly, than continue the 30-year long, slow St. Elizabethification of the District of Columbia.
First, they closed the parks and green spaces. But there was no reason to go outside what with the turf wars, and triple-digit heat and flooding and fires and poison air. And I said nothing because I was trying to catch up on some edgy TeeVee show that I missed.
Then they came to close and/or privatize the public libraries but I said nothing because that's for poors and I have whatever Apple product that stores only the things I want to know about eliminating any chance of a random encounter with ideas outside my own bubble.
Then they privatized my water. And I said nothing as I threw a half-full plastic bottle in the trash.
Then we all boiled to death. In poop. The end.
Great twist there, at the end! Thumbs way up!
Global warming is beginning to look like good news these days.
A fine post. You are a gentleman and a scholar.
It needs a reference to a cake left out in acid rain.
If anyone's looking for Ken, he's off rearranging the TruckNutz on the Titantic.
Have seen you around here in quite some time, Stempy.
Typical libunatic — not only oblivious, but inarticulate as well!
welcome back!!!!1!1!!1!!2b Where's Pedobear?
Thanks for that reminder that libunatics love it that I killed Pedobear so they can once again blame everything on the USA.
He couldn't stay away.
I still feel the love for Hopey, but I think it is purely sexual now. The hatred for Boehner is getting stronger by the day, however.
I'm with you sis! I was hoping that Barack would give the speech shirtless.
And praying that Boehner wouldn't.
Ewwwww
I haz a sad
Straight boys gotta work harder to not reject our imaginary magical Barack
Wish I had some purely sexual urges to fall back on (so to speak)
Pantsless, also too.
I'm suprised that John Boehner didn't dress up in his Nazi SS uniform, it would have played better with his base! Orange monsters are scary.
I pictured this.
Public Option: Fucked.
Extension of Bush Tax Cuts: Fucked.
Deal for Increase in Debt Ceiling: Buddy, you ain't even seen FUCKED yet.
Orange droop. It's like a Red Skull that just couldn't commit.
Would America commit suicide already? This waiting is excruciating. JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!
I think you're confusing suicide with rape-murder.
The whole lot of us are circling the drain, while our elected geniuses watch and argue. I cannot wait until all the red-state repubelickin voters look in their mailboxes and don't see their monthly social security handout (from the government that they hate). Then these fucking dumbasses may realize what this all really means.
Is is just me or are the downfisty icons missing?
Not just you.
They are. Kind of liberating, int it?
I've never felt so free. Now…can we block stalkers?
Damn it, you're on to me! I thought I was doing well in the stealth department, too.
I dunno. Without the downfist ventilation factor, we may see another shooter go on a rampage at a Walmart or McDonald's before the day is out.
Unitarian Church.
Acting alone in what will certainly NOT be a terrorist act.
They don't turn on their own, do they?
where is budget guru Paul Ryan during all this?
did Cantor tell him to stfu and go work on his abs?
And the teajadists don't even like Boner's fascist plan. It's too moderate.
Really, we need robot-Obama to march in to the house, (today), and say "I'm going all 14th amendment on you motha fucking asses; debt ceiling raised, bitches. Have something on my desk by next week repealing the Bush tax cuts, assholes". And then, on the way out the door, tell them to suck his big, black dick. Limey, Barb, you with me girlz?
Some of your msg. is good, but why do you have to be so ****in racist?
You must be new around here.
Maybe freakishly should have written "suck his big green zucchini."
Don't know where that came from…
Cause they keep saying "we want 'our' country back' and "stop ramming it down our throats?"
Since the Tea Baggers are largely race and misogynist based, we just roll with it.
Kinda a judo thing
WTF?
I am always with you! I don't think you are at all racist.
Where in the Constitution does it say we have to cover our debt?
– Typical Teahadi
In typical small government Republiklan fashion, Boehner proposes yet another level of Super-Congress to approve any further increases in the debt ceiling.
If people aren't seeing through this bullshit, then I say, let the Revolution begin.
I'm all for it, but if I may make one tiny suggestion? In the movie version, Obama should be played by Samuel L. Jackson.
Too Layne; Didn't Read.
I hate these fuckers with the heat of a nova.
Boring old 4-door Nova with a six-banger and three on the tree, or awesome Nova SS 396 with the Muncie M-22 and 4.10 posi-trac?
I love it when you talk cars, Baldar. Also, I simply cannot see the point of a six-banger with a three speed, regardless of whether on the tree or the floor (although on the floor is always sexier and more fun to drive)…makes about as much sense as rethugonomics.
Aw, shucks. Yeah, I was quite the gearhead back in the day. I still have the car I bought when I was a senior in high school (1976—just finished it's second restoration a couple years ago). http://s236.photobucket.com/albums/ff119/geoman77...
Nice! I remember when that was your avatar, and lusted after it.
Here's mine: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v478/jamest52/0... http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v478/jamest52/s...
I don't know which I hate worse this morning, 'bucket or intense debate…
That's purdee! Next time I'm in Texas…
♫ Move over baby
Gimme the keys ♫
=) Seriously, that's a thing of beauty (and beautiful restoration) and what fun to drive!
I'm going with the dual four barrel hemi with solid lifters, a wild camshaft and nitro injectors
Fucker is packin heat!
I guess it's a good thing for my Grandma that she died yesterday.
Really? That sucks.
It's hard to work up a bunch of sadness about it, she was born before World War I and lived long enough to see her oldest great grandchild graduate from college. She broke her hip on Wednesday, had a pin put in on Thursday (also her 97th birthday), was supposed to transfer from the hospital to the rehab place yesterday but died instead. Better than a long, slow, suffering thing, I reckon. I am glad that I got up to visit her one last time this past winter…
It sounds like she had a well lived life then. Man, she saw it all (except the impending implosion of the American Empire), didn't she? I hope you have many happy memories.
Aww.Baldar…*pats back*
97?? God bless!
We'll remember the old bird fondly along with you. Light a candle, raise a toast, whatever.
I always got a kick out of her hatin' on Roosevelt and the Democrats, as the mailman dropped off her SS check and the Meals on Wheels gal came by to deliver her meals.
Sorry for your loss. Sounds like Grandma had a long, rich life and didn't suffer…most any of us can hope for. Probably more than, in fact.
Grandparents really do give unconditional love.
They can also show you what a life well lived, and well left, can look like.
She did good for you, and we are all better for her having done that.
RIP
I'ma pour out a 40 for your Grandma. And go visit the 90 year-old woman from across the road who also suffered the same hip malady, but hasn't had the good sense to check out just yet…
I haz a sorryz for your loss, too.
I dreamed of Ken Layne and dystopian America last night. Perhaps I spend too much time on Wonkette.
Sans snark: I have never been so pessimistic about life.
I am 50, so I only have 30 years left. I may just shuffle off before the cannibal anarchy phase. Thats what passes for optimism, for me.
You think we can hold out 30 years before cannibal anarchy? I give it 3, at best.
and the world melting
That sums it up for me and makes much of the loathsome last stage of capitalism a bit easier to take. No matter what people may think about global warming, there is enough evidence–not projections or forecasts but stuff that has already happened–to show that it is not only going on but is happening at a much fast rate then previously thought and that the rate of change is accelerating.
The bad thing is that everyone will be dead. The good thing is that everyone means all the scum bucket bourgeoisie and their lackeys.
Yeah, but Al Gore is fat, lives in a big house, and it snowed last winter! Check and MATE!
I once saw a cartoon drawn by (?? I think) R. Crumb. It depicted two hippies on the porch of a health food store festooned with "peace" and "no nukes" posters. They were watching a mushroom cloud on the horizon. The caption said, "Well, at least we tried".
Bah, the French are on their Fifth Republic and we're still on our first? Obviously, we have a couple more Republics in us after this one.
Contrary to their current protestations, Boner, Shrub, and the rethugs who voted to raise the debt ceiling 9 times under Shrub own the debt, not Obama. Wake the fuck up there Sparky McDownfister and do the frickin' math, iffin' yer poor pitiful peanut brain can stand it.
Hey Ken, see that you posted this over at Free Instinct too. Well we all gotta stretch our resources to deal with this for sure default that comin' since the pols have started the blame game.
What on earth is "Free Instinct"? Let's see …. oh, it's a pornography advertising site stealing content from Wonkette (and many other political content sites). Cease & desist letter requested from legal, thanks for letting us know.
Long as the Gubbermint keeps its hands off my guns and my social security check, I doesn't see what all that durned fuss is about here…
Because of higher than expected revenues this next check should be okay, but after that…
Boehner was on tv blaming Obama for creating an atmosphere of crisis over the debt ceiling. Honestly, does he smoke crack?
He was uglier and meaner than usual. That shit about the stimulus working only as fodder for late night comics was really vicious, (and a lie).
Either because he was better rehearsed than usual, or he was sober. Maybe both.
Ken's baaaaaaaack. And he's pissed offffffffffff . . .
(spoken in the voice of Robin Williams)
Which one? (the voices, I mean)
It is too damn hot to have tomato soup for lunch but for some reason it sounds good today.
Not too hot here in C'Addle. This summer were having the yin of cool for the yang of serious heat most of the rest of ya have been enjoying. We aren't complaining BTW.
Quit rubbing it in you bastard!
Not really helping, weejee…
Try some gazpacho!
It's ice cold!
/Lisa Simpson/
Hopey McUnicorn keeps bringing the Law Professor to a tard-fight in the lunatic asylum dayroom.
Is it wrong to wish that Anders had rampaged through Congress rather than a children's camp?
In a technical sense, yes.
Maybe so, but it's still kinda brilliant.
Do you like have a computer to play with?
Cause if he had gone through Congress, you would have anything at all to play with.
Sigh
wtf?
You think we lost some civil liberties when the towers went down?
If Congress got attacked my guess is that you, and everyone else here, would be nakid behind barbwire in Arizona or Nevada
Don't start with that right wing/left wing shit, in their heart they know where the real theat is.
nekid behind barb wire unless were white wimmen then wed be slut slaves for the negros.
*considers*
I'm OK with it.
The only amusing part of all this is I know some sane fraction of Business America is giving the Republicans an earful, and at this late stage, probably a few WTFs. "Conservative" is supposed to mean not fucking things up more just because your little fee fees got hurt. But, we haven't seen any actual conservatives in Washington in about 4 decades.
Give credit where credit is due. The Tea Party has excelled at something all of the Progressives have never been able to accomplish: being an opposition force and gaining power within the structure of the Republican Party. Progressive fantasies of forming a third party will never amount to anything; it won't work in our system of government, which cannot be changed, at least in any way that benefits most people.
Obama's biggest mistake is the most defining feature of his character: acting like an adult to get something, anything accomplished for the country. There is no bait and switch on this: it's what the country voted for. Progressives who fantasized and projected John Shaft are self-deluding, and Obama doesn't owe them a pageant of their stereotypes.
So Obama fucked up and didn't expect the intensity of derangement brought on by his race and the depth of the crisis left by Bush, and didn't realize that the only way to govern now is the permanent campaign mode. A Presidential election decides nothing, because two years later, you can lose a third of your power to govern effectively. We can piss and moan and wish for a parliamentary system all we want, but America will never have one; the Olde White Guys set up the Constitution to be nearly impossible to change.
What the Right Wing understands, and what mainstream Democrats have yet to act on effectively, is that campaigning is permanent. There is no longer a period where we "put aside our differences to work on the problems of the country"; working on the problems of the country means keeping up relentless political pressure on your opponents with an eye on the next election. Democrats had better suck hard on that, as distasteful as some find it, because the Republicans and Tea Party already operate on that basis and will out-wait anyone, no matter how long it takes. Should Obama win in 2012, the next four years will not in any way be different than the preceding four.
Anybody got any better ideas? Because third parties, parliamentary systems and changing the Constitution are pipe dreams. Maddow whining notwithstanding, Hippies deserve to be punched if that's all they can come up with.
If you want to give credit where it is do please do not leave Osama Bin Ladin out of this.
He figured he could drag down the US empire in Afganistan this same way they did with USSR and England. (Of course Bush gave him a two-fer with Iraq, the luck of the jihadist. And you can' t forget the tax cuts.)
The tea-jihadist racism and misogyny have power cause it's the end of the empire and we can't afford to maintain our armies and keep the olds alive without taxing the rich. Democracy is a luxury of the affluent. We are going down the rat hole of plutocracy.
I don't see any great advantage in what the parliamentary system is doing in England. I myself, marxist that I am, support the less government the better of the founding Olde White Guys. Ms Riverside, being english, thinks it would all be better if we were british. Parliment is a lot more entertaining to watch, but if it were here, I don't think we would have a wonkette to play with.
this is very well put.
i am increasingly convinced we can never have a functioning democratic government – no matter how many branches of gov't dems control.
so i guess we should just get used to the notion of living in cheney's america.
"i guess we should just get used to the notion of living in cheney's america."
*sweeping, operatic gesture*
NEVARRRR!!
What?
I can still afford melodrama, right?
If I'm not allowed to push for my own amendment pipe dreams, I'll settle for instant runoff voting. It eliminates the bullshit primaries, ensures we stop getting plurality office-holders (e.g. most Teabaggers), and it penalizes voters too dumb to figure out the system.
Beyond that, I'd like to sit back and watch what eventually happens with "Fair Districts" in Florida. If it implodes, then maybe it's time for proportional representation, but Congress would unfortunately have to sign off on that.
Naturally, there are also things I'd like to see done to state constitutions, but that's for another masturbatory fever dream.
And that's a pity, because a second term is probably the ONLY realistic point during the executive's presidency that he or she could actually effectively rule unabated by what you call the permanent campaign mode.
That would actually be my idea. There needs to be a president that throws caution to the wind, forget about the conventional idea of "legacy" and just do something…anything. Of course, he or she has to hold the legislature, too, which usually doesn't happen, anymore, but when they do, they have to use it in that second term.
And, if I could change anything in the system, at the moment, it'd be very serious (read: harsh) campaign finance reform and a much shorter campaign season. That'd be a huge start to what needs fixing.
That Creep Playoffs, thats sweet. Man, the 80s weren't so bad after all.
This interesting graphic from The Atlantic was sent to me by a friend. As my friend pointed out, what's cool is that even if you take out the wars and the tax cuts Bush still wins.
I bet Fallows wishes he would have stayed in China.
Still, it made for the funniest WaPo headline in forever: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-fix/post/...
Ken,
Thanks for the titties, no matter how bad everything is they still make be feel better.
Straight boys really are dogs, we can't help it.
You know Ken, a house is not a motel:
More confusions, blood transfusions
The news today will be the movies for tomorrow.
And the water's turned to blood
And if you don't think so
Go turn on your tub.
Damn, time to drag out Love Forever Changes again, thanks for the reminder!
"Well, we're getting greased-up, again…"
Hi, Europe? My grandmother was only 10 when she left for over here. Can I come back now? This place is going tits-up.
Oh Ken, this is pure fucking poetry. You win the self-inflicted apocalypse. Gonna go read "Dignity" now.
*sigh* Time to reread "The Wasteland." Or maybe "No Exit."
But, but…
It said on the teevee last night that the recession was over!
Well, thanks a fucking lot, Wonkette! The first segment made me ashamed to be an American and the Playboy video made me ashamed to be a man. I'm going back to bed now.
Can't we all just pull a Sarah and quit… something or other?
I love Ken's posts – they make me feel like a cockeyed optimist.
And all my friends think *I'm* a bitter cynic, ha!
Returning from a busy weekend with a raging cold, my garden and orchard starved for water and shredded by caterpillars, I read down the wonkette headlines and scanned MSNBC, the CS Monitor and Huffpo on the heels of Boner's and Hopey's dueling "addresses to the nation" and had a kind of sick feeling that maybe the tipping point of losing our rational balance has been reached.
A group of scary, angry people, some on scooters, others in weird camps in the woods or whatever have gone so far to the extreme right and do and say things so scary, even in a country like Norway, that I realize it may be too late.
I keep waiting for rational people to react to this shit in a rational manner and realized this morning, is this how the Third Reich happened? (And I'm not being snarky or making fun of Glenda B on this one). Rational people kept waiting for the masses to wake up to the crazy that was about to plunge them all into hell, but the masses never did wake up?
I keep waiting for the next insanity, murder, outrageous, twisted, hate-filled screed to scare people into saying "enough" but maybe it's too late and the masses are too busy watching reality teevee and playing Angry Birds or something and just don't care anymore?
Although the Dust Bowl is fast becoming just that again, we have 90 acres and a water well, (oops. nearly named our ranch and outted myself) and can provide shelter to liberal squatters, aka English and History majors, as well as other wonkeratti who find themselves on the southern end of this fucked up country. Maybe we can get Neilist to loan us some guns and teach us how to shoot them so we can brave the fascist takeover together.
Fuck, I feel like shit and 12 hour sudefed isn't helping and I just don't need this crazy shit.
Sorry for the lack of snark, but when Democrats are openly disenfranchised, it's all over, isn't it?
Amazing post, although I can't honestly say that I *liked* it.
You also make a good point about how sometimes the crazies sneak in a little bit here and a little bit there.
I want to come. I can cook.
Okay then, we're one our way. Hooverville is a little outdated. Shall we be Teabaglican Town? Definitely put up no No Trespassing signs that include a warning: We don't call the cops.
Oh, and you know all this Reagan talk? He took over in 1980, right? And the record in the Dust Bowl for the longest period of 100F+ weather (50 straight days) was in guess what year? This summer is promising to match or even beat the record. Just like the Dust Bowl of the 30s was timed with what looked like the end of the world, or at least the end of the parts of the world that mattered.
Coincidence? Or God's way of saying, "For Fuck's sake. Are you people just crazy, or what?" as she debates just wiping out all of us.
If the link goes through, I'll let Robinson Jeffers do the talking for me: http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/176411
I need a big, fat prescription of Damnitol.
I think it might be time to start up a lefty militia. I'm a lonely liberal down here in Georgia and I feel like if somebody finds out, they will lynch me. Shit is just seriously getting out of hand. I'm down for playing in the woods and shooting AKs and ARs just like some of the right wing nuts are doing. I'm really depressed. It seems like we are sitting on a tenderbox.
perhaps someone should draw boehner as a giant orange-ade mascott with some kind of orange-ade blow-up dole blow-hole for a mouth spurtng crap and stuff out of it. yeah.
Well, the good thing (or bad thing) about presidential addresses is that they show them on network television, so you have no excuse to not have seen them besides being out.
I'm pretty sure that I get no TV channels whatsoever at the moment. I never paid much attention to that whole converting-to-digital business because I had cable when it was all going down, but my understanding is that even if I had rabbit ears, they wouldn't work anymore, right?
Duh. I looked at your avatar but somehow missed that.
Way cool—betcha that runs like a stripedy-assed baboon. It's funny, people say to me "Wow, I bet that really hauls ass" and I have to tell them that the newer ones are much faster, and to think of it as the difference between a P-51 and an F-16. State of the art in it's time, but no longer superior. I couldn't work on the new cars to save my life.
Once you strip away all the electronics and power-adders, it's still just an internal combustion engine. I can't work on it either though, it's too low to get under to even change the oil. My motorcycle is about all I work on myself anymore, it's still got a carburetor…
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