why everyone gotta make a big deal about it?

South Carolina GOP County Co-Chair ‘Likes’ Cop Killing on Facebook

yes this is the jeff mattox facebook profile page.Murderous right-wing nutjob rage seems to be all the fashion these days! South Carolina Republican Kershaw County co-chair Jeff Mattox thought fit to go ahead and click the Facebook “Like” button on a link to a bizarre, lengthy ALL CAPS-laden screed asking, “when is somebody justified in shooting a police officer?” Hint: if you answered “never, you are completely insane,” you are just one of the soapy-brained sheeple wandering around life oppressed by History and Tyranny and Rules. This sophomoric rant was posted to the Kershaw County Patriots Facebook page, a (wait for it) Tea Party group specializing in maniacal anti-government paranoia where Mattox is also a member.


A South Carolina Republican county co-chair is embroiled in a controversy over “liking” a Facebook article that advocated shooting law enforcement officers.

Jeff Mattox, who is also a tea party activist with the Kershaw County Patriots, gave digital plaudits to an article entitled “When Should You Shoot A Cop” posted on the Patriot’s Facebook page.

“That’s what it means to have an unalienable right. If you have the unalienable right to speak your mind (a la the First Amendment), then you have the right to KILL “government” agents who try to shut you up. If you have the unalienable right to be armed, then you have the right to KILL ”government” agents who try to disarm you,” argued a poster at copblock.org.

The post that Mattox “liked” also included award-winning arguments such as, “If politicians think that they have the right to impose any ‘law’ they want, and cops have the attitude that, as long as it’s called ‘law,’ they will enforce it, what is there to prevent complete tyranny?” Answer: democracy. SOLVED. GO HOME, NUTTERS. [Politico]

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  1. glamourdammerung

    Obviously yet another plant there to make the conservatives look like mindless savages.

    1. PristineODummy

      Any tomato could make conservatives look like mindless savages, just by minding its own damn tomatoey bizniss.

    1. SorosBot

      I wonder what Pammycakes "kill all the Muslims" Geller is saying about the killer being a big fan of hers.

      1. mumbly_joe

        It's the New York Times' fault for reporting on actual things that are true. Also MSNBC for correctly noting the uptick in right-wing attacks in recent years. Also, the guy also mentioned Obama and LGF, so clearly it's also both of their fault, also too, even though he RAEGED about LGF changing teams because Republicans are loonies, and the Obama thing definitely didn't mean what you think it did.

        Also, there was a car crash in Arizona, which clearly demonstrates that the muslims are trying to jihad us through MVAs, if completely baseless conjecture by yours truly counts as "ironclad evidence".

        Mumbly_joe: reading the google cached version of Atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com so you don't have to (give her any pageviews)!

        (Seriously? typepad? You'd think with the following she has amongst white supremacist terrorists and future white supremacist terrorists, she'd be able to get her own fucking domain or something)

        1. SorosBot

          Thanks for reading that! I can take some nuttiness, but Pam's, which stops just short of encouraging genocide at times, is a little more than I can take.

          1. mumbly_joe

            I do think "car accidents are a secret plot by muslims to KILL YOU ALL" doesn't really cross that line so much as dash right through it to win the first-place medal at the Radio Rwanda Open Track Meet.

      2. PristineODummy

        She's already on the attack. It's all a big fat LIE by dem librulz, don'tcha know. He's a "lone wolf." Just like the other 500, or was it 5,000, running around the country shooting up them doctors for letting those wimminz have da abortionz instead of respecting those anencephalic babies' RIGHT to LIVE for the whole five or ten minutes between expulsion from a uterus and the usual fate of the brainless.

  2. Paddy_McStagger

    Get a brain moran! It's totally OK to shoot cops if they're gay muslin half breeds. Doesn't everybody know that?

    1. Jukesgrrl

      You mean … if they're gay, muslin, or half-breeds. FIXED. Commas are yer friend!!1!

      1. NorthStarSpanx

        And then there's that illegal immigrant cop in Anchorage, Alaska patrolling God-Fearing White Americans and collecting the State's annual wealth distribution for the last 20 years – who knows if these cops are Real Americans anyway? Attica, Attica!

      2. Paddy_McStagger

        The very last thing you want to do is go around correcting grammar or punctuation on internet posts. That way lies madness!

        1. Jukesgrrl

          And the very last thing you want to do on Wonkette is take people seriously. OK, maybe it wasn't a really funny joke, but it WAS a joke.

  3. arihaya

    He will not resign,, because he didn't tweet his weiner,, which to some is a capital offense

        1. Andrew Drinker

          If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.

    1. WhatTheHeck

      La Volpe, lets just clear this up – just in case there is any misunderstanding regarding your interpretation of the Constitution.

      You can commit murder only if you are a true patriot.
      All others are democrat-loving, librul, terrorists.

      1. emmelemm

        Needs more double-speak:

        When true patriots do it, it's not murder. Murder only applies when it's committed by demoncrat lieberals.

  4. GregComlish

    Every time a right-wing dipshit gets a speeding ticket, it's the Third Reich all over again.

    1. Beowoof

      Just big government trying to control freedumb loving Americans exercising their right to drive like an asshole.

  5. bflrtsplk

    These nuts just keep upping the ante. It's only a matter of time before they start shooting each other for not being nutty enough. We can only hope.

    1. Paddy_McStagger

      They do seem to be in a crazy contest.The winner gets a two year career in the House of Representatives.

    2. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Hope away, but don't forget the nutter's alternative if other nuts aren't nutty enough: shoot up a campground full of kids.

    3. BlueStateLibel

      Sorry for getting nerdy, but I'm increasingly reminded of that part in The Lord of the Rings when, after witnessing two orcs killing each other, Sam tells Frodo he wished the orcs would just keep it up with their nice "friendliness" towards each other.

      1. Hurricane Ali

        Dang BSL, you totally got that meme in before Walnuts! made it all "cool-nerdy" in the hizzouse. I just spent a whole 10 minutes looking for this comment just so I could say that, once again, Wonketteers have the finger on the pulsebeat of political snark in America.

    4. PristineODummy

      Well, they have already kicked out anyone who might be to the left of Attila the Hun. What else can they do? (Rhetorical question, peeplez. No need to fire off a thousand replies.)

  6. Tommmcatt

    Never, you are completely insane

    I am getting a t-shirt with that printed on it so all I have to do at work when someone asks me a question is point…

  7. the_problem_child

    What would you expect from a Teabagger site called cockblock.org? Of course they're feeling oppressed.

  8. Fare la Volpe

    What's that, Gun? You want me to rub you all over my naked body?

    Oh, Gun, you're the only one that understands me.

  9. MinAgain

    Can it really be considered free speech, if you have to spend all that money on cop-killer ammo?

    1. Dudleydidwrong

      Expect legislation that will allow a tax deduction on expense of cop-killer ammo. Such freedom may not be free but it should be tax deductible.

    2. Jukesgrrl

      That free birth control idea that is going around will never fly, but I'm shocked it was proposed before these wackos could demand free ammo for their Constitutionally approved automatic weapons.

  10. SaneCatLady

    I wish I had a dick so I could invite Jeff Mattox, the Kershaw County Patriots, and all 'baggers everywhere to suck it.

    1. yyyaz

      I was going to say I would volunteer to do it for you, but the thought of any of these dipshits anywhere near my junk gives me the freeper creepies.

  11. Biel_ze_Bubba

    I bet Mattox might refuse to obey an officer, and resist arrest, and get a bit violent. Surely enough to merit a bit of Tazer justice.

  12. salt_bagel

    Every time the po-po enforces a law, it's like they're doing another 9/11 all over again to liberty loving folk. Get gummint out mah freedums.

  13. tihond

    He's been a huge fan of Ice-T's work ever since "Rhyme Pays" and just wanted the world to know.

  14. salt_bagel

    Tangential, but I think the Facebook would be way more exciting if they had a "Would Do" button.

    1. emmelemm

      Wow. For a minute, I didn't get it, and I thought you meant like an "Eh" button – not quite Like, not Dislike. In the vein of "That'll do".

      But now I get it. And it's better. And funnier.

  15. MissusBarry

    Wait, county co-chair…is that an elected, possibly legislative position? (Seriously, I'm not up on county govmint in the south.) Any way you slice it, though, dude ain't right. He should hope he won't be in need of police assistance, ever. Dear criminals, if you've ever wanted to burglarize his house or do some raping of him or his family, now would be an ideal time.

  16. Not_So_Much

    Jeff Mattox — Wayne LaPierre is going to make sure that kid is on the fast track to higher office!

  17. emmelemm

    OK, but without me going to an idiot asshole's facebook page, what does it say on that Democracy "faux motivational" poster? I'm curious.

    1. genxr

      Democracy: two wolves and a sheep voting on what's for dinner.
      Liberty: something something (I stopped reading there)

      1. ArmoredLibunatic

        Liberty is a well-armed sheep consenting the vote, hoorah hurk hurk wank wank.

        1. mumbly_joe

          I said it be fore, but once again, it's odd how similar that particular definition of "liberty" (an extremely heavily armed minority imposing rule over a majority depicted as venal and corrupt and whose participation in the political process is considered innately destructive) is to fascism.

    2. the_problem_child

      Some shit about democracy is two wolves and a sheep arguing about what's for dinner, liberty is a well-armed sheep disputing the menu. (paraphrased)

      1. emmelemm

        Eh. Thank you, kind sir or madam.

        Thank goodness we're not wolves or sheep, we're "sentient" beings who make choices on whether or not to kill each other. Right? Right??

  18. Warpde


    Last time I heard someone say KILL, KILL, KILL like that was that progressive, secret, according to Beck, terrorist Liberal, damn his soul, Arlo.

    1. yyyaz

      Times New Roman just doesn't do justice to 'Lil Woodie's rant. Unless, of course, you're judging it blind.

  19. genxr

    On this guy's "about" page…
    Music: Ted Nugent
    Books: Atlas Shrugged

    All you need to know.

  20. Steverino247

    Hey, did the downfist option just go away or did my computer not load it? Hmm. I like it this way.

    1. Amo_of_Bogio

      What will downfist troll do now?
      Cognitive dissonance will make his head 'splode.

    2. the_problem_child

      I've lost it, too. Is it the return of HOPE?

      Edit: Now what will we talk about, the fucking weather?

        1. poncho_pilot

          like Batman and Robin climbing up the side of a building, paw over furry Bonobo paw.

    3. HistoriCat

      Does this mean we'll have to stop obsessing about p-ness and actually come up with comments which are a) insightful, b) witty, or c)both?

      1. user-of-owls

        Oh no, no, no, kitty. It just means we've entered the modern el-hi education system!

        This is that rarefied environment in which you can and do actually get higher than the maximum score, like a 4.7 GPA or a 128 on a 100-point exam! You think I'm kidding? I see it everyday in Honors College interviews, which are really more like, "I knew that guy snapped and went up into the bell tower with the gun way back when" sessions than anything else.

        Upfisties and only upfisties!

    4. mumbly_joe

      I'll be honestly, I don't mind the lack of downfists, but for some reason, the Texas post is also fatally glitched for me and I can't post, which is a shame, because I have a thing that's more insightful than smart-assed, for once.

        1. mumbly_joe

          Well, it was mostly that the fact that Obama's leading the pack in terms of the donations from the money types in Texas isn't really necessarily as heartening (or disheartening in an "Obama's a sellout" sense) as it seems; it's probably just brand dilution. The analogy my favorite example of this uses is that it's raining money, and you can either have one big bucket or a lot of little ones, but you can't change how much rain there is.

          If there were one, or even two or three obvious frontrunners for the GOP ticket, I have no doubt that the asshole Texas plutocrats would act exactly like the asshole Texas plutocrats we all know and loathe. Obama leading the pack in Texas is more of a sign that the GOP has a problem with too many product lines, and not that the donors are running away from the obvious, economy-cratering crazy they helped to create in the first place.

    5. Doktor Zoom

      I think I may know what happened. I sent a detailed email to support @IntenseDebate outlining the misbehavior of Spanky2b, with examples from his posting history, and (get ready for a shock) they actually DID something.

      Email message removed.

      Apparently I wasn’t the only one who complained–and I want to make it clear that I only complained about Spanky’s behavior (especially the mass-following, which was gaming the notification system as a form of harassment), and NOT about his political views. I don’t give a rat’s ass what he thinks politically, but his behavior was a violation of the TOS. I’m a bit hesitant about posting this info here, as I know he’s still reading, but fuck it. If he refrains from harassing Wonkette users, I’d even be happy to argue with whatever his next incarnation turns out to be.

      1. mumbly_joe

        I emailed support months ago, about sockpuppeting and potential script use, as well as that whole dumb downvoting thing, but got a pretty tepid response. Maybe they kept my email on file? Who knows.

      2. Rotundo_

        HA HA (doing his best Nelson Muntz imitation) Not only do we get Spanky knocked down a peg, but we also got the whole distraction of the "P" score settled in one swell foop! Best thing to happen to Wonkette in a long, long, long time. I don't mind differing views, but weaseling behind a juvenile comment rating system really annoyed the hell out of me.

      3. Tommmcatt

        Ah, thank you, for the great justice. I wonder if he can still post on BigFAILiwood or whatever Britbart is calling his lie factory nowadays.

        In any case, BACK IN THE BOX,Gimp! Forever this time!

      4. glamourdammerung

        I don't give a rat's ass what he thinks politically, but his behavior was a violation of the TOS.

        I think you are making an unreasonable assumption there.

        Being an ass just to be an ass is a personality defect, not a political system.

      5. ManchuCandidate

        I was one of those who complained as well. Spanky2b can opine about almost whatever the fuck he wants even down fist (as annoying as it was.) The problem for me was his new name. Never seen a person take so much glee at the death of people.

        1. Steverino247

          I complained every time he followed me because it had to have been a violation of the TOS. His last name change was really over any line one might want to draw between sane, rational discussion and utter depravity. If anybody was happy about the killings (other than the asshole who did it), it was Spanky. Spanky needs some serious help and I hope he gets it.

          That, or he jumps off a high bridge into deep water.

          1. ManchuCandidate

            When one has been stalked by the likes of Tony The Tiger (long story on that one) Spanky's nothing.

            Spanky needs serious help, but he'll never get it because he doesn't think he has a problem.

            I've had friends like Spanky. Big dreams, small minds and utter failures in almost everything they do. I got so disgusted that I stopped being their friend. As was said a long time ago by another fictional wackadoo, "This man is not guilty of stalking, he is only guilty of being Spanky. That is his crime, it is also his punishment"

      6. Andrew Drinker

        I'm with you. It's really about the potential for someone using a script. In fact, I'd say without hesitation that it was a script, those downfisties came out of nowhere sometimes 2 or 3 seconds after comments would go up, 24 hours a day. That's a serious ToS violation.

      1. Jukesgrrl

        Don't worry, she'll find someone else to harass. As soon as she recovers from overdosing on Cheetos and Circus Peanuts in a fit of anger-eating.

      1. Crank_Tango

        I'd plink my Glock without protection, but for some reason it wants to get rubbed all over fare la volpe now, see above.

  21. Sue4466

    “That’s what it means to have an unalienable right. If you have the unalienable right to speak your mind (a la the First Amendment), then you have the right to KILL “government” agents who try to shut you up. If you have the unalienable right to be armed, then you have the right to KILL ”government” agents who try to disarm you.”

    Yep, someone willing to define Sharon Angle's "Second Amendment remedies."

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      If we give everyone the right to blow away anybody who violates their rights, just think of the money we could save on courts and lawyers. That episode down in Arkansas, for instance, could have been settled simply by killing off the city council. Presto, problem solved.

  22. Doktor Zoom

    "Really, there are only two choices: you are a slave, the property of the politicians, without any rights at all, or you have the right to violently resist “government” attempts to oppress you."

    There are only two kinds of people. Those who see the world in terms of mindless dualisms, and those who don't.

    1. not that Dewey

      My father used to say "there are two kinds of people in the world: those who think there are two kinds of people, and the other kind".

      1. Doktor Zoom

        There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who know binary, and those who don't.

  23. ttommyunger

    In fairness, this Southern Gentleman made a simple,understandable mistake, he thought he was looking at "FaceFuck", not Facebook. It could happen to any closeted goober smoocher of less than normal intelligence.

    1. Crank_Tango

      I believe in NYC you just need to take the do not disturb hanger off the door and wait for the maid to show up.

      1. ttommyunger

        I'm no fan of rape, but after seeing that cunt's face and learning she was “granting” (read selling) interviews, I am thinking that douchebag Frog was set up.

        1. Crank_Tango

          yeah it is a tough one. my first thought was honeypot, but then the more you hear about this guy, it kinda has his MO all over it. But maybe that's what Sarko wants me to think…

          1. ttommyunger

            Methinks they deserve each other. Seems like the cops overreacted, though. I still suspect a French Connection (political).

  24. edgydrifter

    Fred Phelps probably sparkled his pants reading about this. I expect Westboro Baptist will be setting up a franchise operation in Kershaw County soon.

    1. Barb

      "his mom is going to be so bummed" By that, do you mean he will have more time for butt sex with her? Yep!

    2. Rotundo_

      He can't comment, nobody can downfist, it seems that his raison d'etre has plumb gone pblblblblblblblblblblblblblt! I suggest SSRI's and a hobby. Puzzles maybe?

  25. fuflans

    i love you all. i really do. you are all briliant and wonkette makes my day nearly every day and is the place i run for clarification on all Important Issues.


    i find myself pining for the pre-internet world where i didn't have to spend so much time peering into the limited minds of the bigoted, ignorant, angry and ugly.

    ken might be right.

    1. Fare la Volpe

      You saw that kind of crazy before the internet. It was usually in the form of a compound out in Texas getting bulldozed by a tank.

      1. Paddy_McStagger

        "i find myself pining for the pre-internet world where i didn't have to spend so much time peering into the limited minds of the bigoted, ignorant, angry and ugly.

        When you stare into the abyss the abyss stares into you!

  26. real_dc_native

    I think this all started when the Supreme Court ruled that the insane cannot be detained against their will just because they are insane.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      That was OK … the fucked-up NRA-designed law that lets them get their guns back is more of a problem.

  27. user-of-owls

    digital plaudits

    What a bunch of pussies, can't even bring themselves to say, "upfisted."

  28. x111e7thst

    I do not believe that it is ever right to kill TeaTards and their Repuke enablers. I could however easily be persuaded that the national interest requires that many of them be scooped up by black helicopters and transferred to Gitmo for protracted interrogation.

  29. Blendergoathead

    I will never, ever, EVER stop calling Teabaggers… Teabaggers. All this "tea party" crap is ridiculous. They did it to themselves; they own it. Make them own it.

  30. where_in_th

    My neighbor up here in nowhere, California posted the following sign WARNING


    This is a restricted area. Only Red Blooded Patriotic Christian Americans Are Authorized For Access Upon Approval And Verification Of Credentials By The Commanding Authority

    The Use Of Deadly Force Is Authorized For Use On Those Found In Non-Compliance With Above

    A couple of weeks ago, he chased down 6 young men in a car who allegedly stole some solar lights out of his property, shooting at them. He killed one and put two others in the hospital. Local's think it is great. Cops and DA not so much.

  31. mumbly_joe

    "Really, there are only two choices: you are a slave, the property of the politicians, without any rights at all, or you have the right to violently resist “government” attempts to oppress you."

    It honestly takes a white person to think that the slavery is the alternative to open rebellion against the US government.

    1. comrad_darkness

      Notice the complete lack of option for : free and open society.

      Scary extra note: these fuckers vote.

    1. Nothingisamiss

      I rushed home, listening to the speech on the way, hoping to read the erudite (rat dick) comments about the speech and response. I haz a disappointment on not being able to read the trenchant responses of the Wonkeratti.

  32. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    All of us that support the First Amendment remember that proud day when George Carlin shot up the Supreme Court when they ruled he could not say the seven dirty words on the Public Airwaves. For, what is the use of having a right unless you kill anyone that might think there should be some limits or regulations of that right.

    If only this proud patriot had been around when the Second Amendment was passed, as he could have gone on a shooting spree and gotten rid of all the founders for putting that whole "well regulated militia" thing in there. How dare the founders get in the way of his right to shoot and kill what ever he wants?

  33. Hurricane Ali

    Snark off:

    The more I study American history (specifically within the context of 19th century lit) I am concluding more and more that the Civil War fucked us up worse than could be imagined. Perhaps I'm making a bigger deal out of this, but I think the Civil War completely unleashed this festering hatred so that it continues to reverberate in so many hater groups that have sprung up ever since. That's all I wanted to say. I am sad for our country tonight.

        1. Crank_Tango

          OK so i was watching something on western civilization a few weeks ago and I thought "if I could just go back in time and find the daddy of the guy that invented slavery, and kick him in the nuts, US America would be fine today." And then I started to think that through and realized what a lame, white-ass country this would be, and there would be no good music anywhere. How's that for some shit?

          No jazz, blues, rock, hip hop, peanut butter, prolly no reggae either. Is all that worth slavery? No. It's just something I realized while baked.

          1. Hurricane Ali

            Crank, that was beautiful because you answered your own question in a reflective moment, something a lot of these arseholes have never had a moment in which to think about these things.

          2. snoopyfan2010

            Also no US America at all since the slavery was what helped it grow. But the music is a nice bonus.

    1. Radiotherapy®

      HeyHurricane, I've thought the same thing as of late. The antebellum south was a pretext for what we are facing at this very hour. The plantation rich (sorry, job creators) had set up this house of cards cover for slavery and exploitation by saying it was "southern heritage" and "honor." They convinced enough rubes and were able to start the atrocity of war all in an effort to protect the "peculiar institution." Likewise tonight, we have a Party and its propaganda machine willing to destroy all in the name of not taxing the people who benefit most from our imperfect economic system.
      I listened to Obama this evening on the way home, and I feel he is willing to stand up and articulate the problem before us. The Orange One on the other hand wants to blame Obama and WILL NEVER, EVER, raise taxes 3 fucking percent marginally on the rich of this country.
      I feel your sadness, and it's compounded by my el pinche-like contempt for teabaggers and the Right Wing.

    2. Dudleydidwrong

      They lost. And they couldn't (and still can't) take it. Both sides had their cause in their minds as deserving of victory. The North saw preserving the Union and later, ending slavery, as their cause. The South saw preserving their rights and retaining slaves as their cause. The South (not all, of course, but many) still believes they should have won, and that belief pushes them onward as losers who cannot forget, nor forgive. It ain't over yet. "Forget? Hell!" isn't just a funny slogan on a T-shirt.

      The snark button is back to the "on" position.

    3. HistoriCat

      In a way yes … but there was a period when I think things had become a little better. Not great but there was an upslope in the late 19th century. During Reconstruction you had black legislators in the South and while there was a KKK and similar groups, they were pretty fringey. I think part of it may also have been a general fatigue among people who actually experienced war and it's effects on the battlefield or in the aftermath of an army's passage.

      Now if you skip forward to the early 20th century, things start to change. The federal civil service went from being open and pretty integrated to being a segregated institution (and thank you Woodrow Wilson – you racist asshole). The KKK had a huge resurgence starting in the 20s. And while I can't off the top of my head talk about the Jim Crow laws, I'm pretty sure that's when Southern whites regained control of their states through intimidation and racial restriction laws.

    4. zhubajie

      It's true that before the Civil War bookstores were far more common than gunshops, at least in Ohio.

    5. gurukalehuru

      The amazing thing about the Civil War is that it didn't happen 20 years earlier. The hateful assholes have always been there and they have always been hateful assholes.

  34. widget2011

    Completely off topic, but will someone drown Grover Norquist in a bathtub, that would be poetic justice.

    1. 102415

      He should drown himself then the EMS can nutkick him back to half a life and he can go on medicaid and food stamps. I've got to stop reading the Breitbart comments. They are coarsening my finer self.

    2. genxr

      Poetic justice would be if the last words he hears in this life is the privately run for-profit EMT asking him how he plans to pay for treatment.

  35. Diabeetis

    The funny and ironic thing is that these same people probably think Mumia Abu-Jamal is an evil cop-killer.

    The Tea Party movement has led to even more contradictory views on the Right about law enforcement than there already were. Cops are heroes who are always innocent of accusations of brutality and corruption one day, but then they're union-thug government employees who deserve to be shot the next. I can only imagine what the POLITICO comments will be like if, say, the Maricopa County Sheriff's Dept. got into a pension dispute with Jan Brewer.

  36. KenLayIsAlive

    The tea baggers started on this slippery slope when Sarah Palin rolled her eyes when the woman said she was a teacher. Scott Walker took on the those awful firemen. Now cops should be shot.

    The over-taxed CEO and the fat well-armed guy in a pick up are the real American Heros people. I just can't wait until the wingnuts take a stand against those shiftless layabouts in our armed forces.

  37. Goonemeritus

    This is the kind of conclusions you get when you print nihilism crib notes on the back Skol cans.

  38. Negropolis

    Never, never trust an organization with "Patriot" in its name, especially the New England Patriots and their shameless and amoral coach.

    I love the Republican Party. They are so patriotic that they regularly muse on secession, have a hard-on for remembering the Confederacy, don't believe in actual share sacrifice, and advocates and are more distrustful of law enforcement than the legitimately concerned citizens of Urban America, well, unless an "Urban American" is arrested in a crime and then they praise the police for all kinds of brutality and oppression.

    But, I digress…

    BTW, where are the downfists? Why can't I downfist? Please don't tell me where going to Peewee League "everybody wins a trophy/no one has lost" reward points. Seriously, if you're going to fuck with the ratings, do away with the entire thumb system instead of this patronizing "only upfists" bullshit.

    1. user-of-owls

      Well, alas, I fear another notch in the belt of "I can't believe you're like this! I was totally wrong about us! *weep, weep*" continues. I grew up in walking (ok, VERY long walking) distance from what was then Schaefer Stadium, home of the Boston Patriots with their lovely little bend-over Minuteman logo. Somewhere in my youth, the changed to 'New England Patriots,' the running observation being that they had sought to spread the shame a bit thinner by broadening its coverage. Why this is particularly personal to me is that my most, most beloved gramp actually (on a purely volunteer basis!) worked the gate at Schaefer for most of my adolescent/teen years. Me and a pal would go up and according to his instructions, "Act like you don't know me", and he'd tear off the ticket of the two people in front of us, then hand us their opposite stubs. Oh god, I'm laughing out loud at the memory of how serious he took this conspiracy against the state!

      So, as usual, a long way of saying that for someone who was a Patriots fan when the suspense in watching a game was not whether they'd lose (yes) or even by how much (lots); rather it was, "So, will this be the game where Grogan's knees will finally be shattered when he does his patented naked bootleg?", I pretty much have to say, um well. I need to register my disagreement with those who have come to hate the Patriots once they became successful and to humbly suggest that just perhaps they might not be the only team in the league to have employed ethically questionable techniques. And I'll just leave it there. Unless of course, you want to talk about the Sox…

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        The Sox will be shot for violating the Yankees' constitutional right to win the AL East.

        1. user-of-owls

          There's the leeeetle corner of hell that is just for you in which a quadriplegic Jack Tatum has inexplicably wound up with a permanent boner which he fastidiously coats with Lava Soap. And you sit on his lap, again, and again, and again, and a LAVA SOAP again.

          Sorry, just to clarify: For us Neanderthal Pats fans, Daryl Stingley's sort of our Trig.

          Oh noes! I've stepped on the third rail there, haven't I? Adieu, Adios, Wiedersehen & Chau.

    2. Andrew Drinker

      And also they "love" the Constitution but want to rape it into infinity by bringing on a Balanced Budget amendment while calling for the repeal of several other amendments (14th, 17th, 19th) because they don't jive with their personal preferences.

  39. El Pinche

    One day in SC when a cop brings armageddon to a Patriot's chest cavity because he was stupid enough to point his gun at him, please Allah, Jesus, All Mighty Jehovah , let it be on youtube and/or Tosh.0. I have no remorse for conservaturds who condone shooting cops.

  40. user-of-owls

    You know what's rather curious? As far as I can tell, all of the 'contact your representative' web links are collapsed.

    1. Radiotherapy®

      I know. I was going to send them a message: Eat the Job Creators….and then downfist them. WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot?

      1. user-of-owls

        Oh, and I was also gonna post a reply to your message that said: "I'm Not A Job Creator, But Can You Eat Me Too?!"

  41. PristineODummy

    Then you'd wind up in a shooting match with him AND all his sticky-fingered little teagagger friends, and you just months from retirement? Don't that just suck tailpipe.

  42. Chet Kincaid

    Yes! Cops have the right to flashlight-rape anyone who Facebook-likes comments about killing cops!

    What the fuck?! If the wingnuts have twisted your logic this far around, consider taking a break from the news for a while.

    1. Rotundo_

      Thank you for a well spoken slap in the face I needed. You are, of course, absolutely correct and I have deleted the comment. Sometimes one can become what one despises most in others. Sometimes one can look at what goes on in this world a bit too long.
      My thanks again Chet, well said and much needed.

  43. dogscantlookup

    Fire on Fort Sumter, wez got bunker-busters dis time confedrerfucks. Machetes, NeoJohn Browns, and NeoNathaniel Turners …
    Bring it, we got the boom-sticks too!
    Once again you pig fuckers will not win.

    1. FNMA

      South Carolina is not eligible for the contest since it is in the Hall of Fame of Stupidity. It's been resting on its laurels, but is poised for a kick-ass comeback.

  44. snoopyfan2010

    So lets connect the dots here, we have a POLITICIAN who is a member of a group that is against GOVERNMENT and supports the killing of GOVERNMENT REPRESENTATIVES. Nope, nothing inconsistent about that.

  45. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Ah, the perfect end to a good day, a Neilist armament post. What else could one ask for?

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