INSANE THEORIES  5:13 pm July 25, 2011

Glenn Beck Figures Out Norway Shooter Is a Secret Liberal Terrorist

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Slobbery sob queen Glenn Beck (and a frightening amount of other right-wingers) agreed with Norwegian mass murderer Anders Breivik that multiculturalism and Muslims are ruining civilization. Beck also believes that because Breivik is a terrorist, he must therefore be a secret liberal. “He is doing the work of a madman. He is doing the work of what all people who want big government always do, and that is commit terrorist acts,” Beck said on his fringe lunatic radio hour. So let’s see if we have this then: Breivik is in favor of big government, and he is an insane terrorist. Breivik is also insanely correct about how terrible Muslims are, according to Beck. Our calculations indicate that this makes Beck a liberal terrorist sympathizer! Hooray, that was a fun word problem.

Oh yeah and the thing made anybody care about this idiotic segment today was because he also says the children at the camp who were murdered, yes those murdered children, they were attending a political camp that “sounds like the Hitler Youth or something,” to Glenn Beck. “Who sends their kids to political camp?” he asks. DUH: The Tea Party, is who. [Media Matters]

 
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{ 253 comments }

doloras July 25, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Is he trying to argue that Young Republicans don't have camps? If that's true, where do they stock up their dildo boats?

Callyson July 25, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Republicans, not campy? I'm guessing several rent boys in the DC area would beg to differ…

GOPCrusher July 25, 2011 at 5:29 pm

By the end of the year, santorum will be on the lips of all Young Republiklans.

WABishop July 25, 2011 at 5:40 pm

Or church camps? What about vacation Bible schools? (Is there a more terrifying phrase in the rhetoric of the Right?)

Lascauxcaveman July 25, 2011 at 6:16 pm

My kids went to vacation bible schools sponsored by various local churches (the Catholics, the Lutherans and the Episcopalians actually used to get together and do the ecumenical thing, intermingling all the kiddies), and my kids will assure you that vacay bible school is mostly games and stories and arts and crafts with a little time for prayers and Jesus-talk.

Maybe, if there's any time.

Chet Kincaid July 25, 2011 at 6:28 pm

There's your problem right there: Lutherans and Episcopalians are barely even Christians, and Catholics don't care if you learn any scripture or not, so long as you keep turning over your tithes and kids. Should've sent the little barbarians to a Baptist, Pentecostal or other hardcore fundie/evangelical VBC.

Atlas Frooged July 25, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Well, there is 9/12 camp which sounds kinda Hilter youth-y. And, hey, one of the founders is none other than our own bristle-headed chubbster, Glennifer! http://tinyurl.com/becksuxcoxinhell

glamourdammerung July 25, 2011 at 6:29 pm

Little James O'Keefe and his fellow wiretapper pals went to such a camp actually called the "Leadership Institute".

horsedreamer_1 July 25, 2011 at 7:40 pm

How about the Badger Boys State, hosted at my alma mater? Strictly speaking, it's not partisan, but Ripon, City of, is the birthplace of the GOP & remains heavily Republican to this day. (Though, with so many of the residents being college professors, there is a slightly more moderate-left bent than the surrounding farmland.)

ShaveTheWhales July 25, 2011 at 9:45 pm

I think the American Legion (now there's a proper group name) sponsors Boys & Girls States in all of them, horse.

horsedreamer_1 July 26, 2011 at 9:10 am

I only go to the American Legion for cheap beer & free baseball, so I did not know that. Thanks for elucidating me, then.

evan7257 July 25, 2011 at 5:15 pm

You, you, you're like New York, Jewish, left-wing, liberal, intellectual, Central Park West, Brandeis University, the socialist summer camps and the, the father with the Ben Shahn drawings, right, and the really, y'know, strike-oriented kind of, red diaper, stop me before I make a complete imbecile of myself.

LettucePrey July 25, 2011 at 5:31 pm

No, that was wonderful. We just love being reduced to a cultural stereotype.

Atlas Frooged July 25, 2011 at 5:57 pm

The Ben Shahn ref? M-wah!

portermelmoth July 25, 2011 at 6:01 pm

Hey! It's Alvy Sing-ger!

finallyhappy July 25, 2011 at 7:16 pm

Not quite but close- Jewish Labour Zionist camp but not NYC

ifthethunderdontgetya July 25, 2011 at 5:15 pm
ArmoredLibunatic July 25, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Beaten to the punch again…

flamingpdog July 25, 2011 at 6:26 pm

Scariest movie I've ever seen.

vodkamuppet July 25, 2011 at 11:21 pm

Holy shit Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker that was fucking fucked.

Also, did I get a glimpse of meth head Ted Haggard in there or did I just imagine that I saw him because it makes perfect sense that he would be in this movie?

OC_Surf_Serf July 25, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Glenn has nearly proven Quantum cosmology correct…the farther out into space Glenn looks, the further up ass he can see…

GunToting[Redacted] July 25, 2011 at 5:17 pm

The murdered children were attending a hippie, socialist camp sponsored by the Labor party in Norway. The Norwegian Labor party are liberal democrats. So, this crazy (yet selectively sane) liberal gunman just wiped out nearly 100 of his compatriots. False flag operation?

smokefilleddoommate July 25, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Yeah, he didn't get a piece of cake at the very last gathering he attended and it's been building up all these years.

Lascauxcaveman July 25, 2011 at 6:19 pm

He had to destroy the summer camp to save it.

poncho_pilot July 25, 2011 at 5:18 pm

ladies and gentelmen; the Amazing Karnak!

smokefilleddoommate July 25, 2011 at 5:26 pm

…don't forget to buy gold, folks!

poncho_pilot July 25, 2011 at 5:32 pm
iburl July 25, 2011 at 5:18 pm

If the rightwingers succeed in destroying public education, we will all be sending our kids to camp. My kids will be going to a "Teabaggers are Idiots who like to wear powdered wigs Camp"

poncho_pilot July 25, 2011 at 5:21 pm

the only way the Tea Party could get behind trains as public transportation is if we were sending people to "camp".

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 25, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Or in an Ayn Rand novel.

genxr July 25, 2011 at 5:48 pm

A camp to help kids concentrate?

Lascauxcaveman July 25, 2011 at 6:20 pm

Heh. Hell yes, lets throw all those keyed-up ADD kids into a concentration camp.

neiltheblaze July 25, 2011 at 7:16 pm

I thought they called that "Junior High"

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 25, 2011 at 5:18 pm

Let's not forget that Beck has constantly told his followers to bring the kids to his rallies.

So, it turns our that Glenn Beck was a closeted liberal Muslim all along. No wonder FOX News got rid of him.

horsedreamer_1 July 25, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Oh, he's closeted… in certain ways. Why'd you think he did all that cocaine in the late 70s/early 80s?

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 25, 2011 at 9:06 pm

To fuel his rape and murder spree of young girls?

soojank July 25, 2011 at 5:19 pm

You'd have to pay me serious money to listen to that.

and even then, not so sure

HempDogbane July 25, 2011 at 7:18 pm

Serious gold coin money, dontcha mean?

SexySmurf July 25, 2011 at 5:20 pm

One time, at Labour, Muslim, Hitler, Liberal terrorist camp…

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 25, 2011 at 5:32 pm

SexySmurf, what did you do with the C-4?

weejee July 25, 2011 at 5:43 pm

Cooked his hobo beans on it. Just don't stamp-out the fire or you'll be foot loose and fancy free, literally.

smokefilleddoommate July 25, 2011 at 5:21 pm

"So Saturday, I was um chooching following the news…"

elviouslyqueer July 25, 2011 at 5:21 pm

Oh please oh please oh please let this be Beck's Jumping the Shark episode. Except this time, the shark jumps clean out of the water, snaps Beck in two, and then proceeds to feast on his bloody entrails for the rest of the week.

GOPCrusher July 25, 2011 at 5:29 pm

It is Shark Week.

flamingpdog July 25, 2011 at 6:28 pm

Seems like it's always Shark Week.

CalamityJames July 25, 2011 at 5:51 pm

But see, then I would have to actually watch that. It's a goddamn dilemma, I tells ya.

WhatTheHeck July 25, 2011 at 5:54 pm

Sorry. Can't happen. Sharks have feeding standards. They can't feast on bile.

Lascauxcaveman July 25, 2011 at 6:23 pm

But they are known to take test bites out of inedible objects like surfboards, small boats, etc. The trick is to get a big pussy like Beck to go into the water.

Rotundo_ July 25, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Not likely, unfortunately, Glenndo will be living on forever on the radio and on the internets in his GlennBunker in Tejas, and rest assured there will always be an audience for him.

HempDogbane July 25, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Can't be eatin' that. Contaminated with Mercury.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 25, 2011 at 5:21 pm

You have to love the logic of people like Beck when what they preach comes home to roost. If you haven't had a chance to read Mark Steyn's defense of himself (Norwegian terrorist might have read and quoted my anti-Islamic stuff, but since he didn't kill any Muslims the fact that he said the was killing people because they were helping the Muslims do what I said they did means he wasn't anti-Islam), don't, but realize, the far right is tying themselves up in knots because they agree with everything Breivik said, they are just not sure if you need to kill quite so many children to stop the brown hordes.

Chet Kincaid July 25, 2011 at 5:55 pm

They are only conflicted because he killed white kids. If he had killed muslim kids at a camp, they'd be quite a bit more open with their support, and would be turning cartwheels to prove that it was a madrassa or terrorist training camp.

Doktor Zoom July 25, 2011 at 8:26 pm

Still, Breivik did kill socialist white kids, so you'd think he'd get some credit for that.

snoopyfan2010 July 25, 2011 at 6:45 pm

They're just angry because they got caught.

anniegetyerfun July 25, 2011 at 7:29 pm

The verbal gymnastics have been amazing. If every single Teatard wasn't morbidly obese, I would love to see them attempt the same kinds of physical feats.

horsedreamer_1 July 25, 2011 at 7:47 pm

Mark Steyn? The Mark Steyn, who gets pride of place at the back of book each issue of National Review?

I think I'm going to faint. Such wattage on that guy.

Doktor Zoom July 25, 2011 at 8:25 pm

Best clueless line from Steyn: "A member of the country’s second political party gunned down members of its first… Muslims are now the preferred victims even in a story in which they are entirely absent."

Yup. Islamophobia had nothing to do with a massacre by a guy who said, repeatedly, that he was saving Europe from Muslims. Why are we even TALKING about Muslims when this was clearly a dust-up that was solely about Norwegian politics?

WhatTheHeck July 25, 2011 at 5:23 pm

I didn't see one of those young people with Hitler mustaches.
They were just young people wanting to preserve their Norwegian freedoms.

Beck, you are a retard. Even Fox would say you are a RETARD.

Callyson July 25, 2011 at 5:26 pm

You know what other political camp “sounds like the Hitler Youth or something”?

poncho_pilot July 25, 2011 at 5:27 pm

Camp Candy?

SayItWithWookies July 25, 2011 at 5:32 pm

Skit night at the College Republicans?

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 25, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Any Glenn Beck rally?

riverside68 July 25, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Koch-sucking camp?

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 25, 2011 at 5:42 pm

A Boy Scout jamboree?

WABishop July 25, 2011 at 5:47 pm

Galt's Gulch?

elviouslyqueer July 25, 2011 at 5:49 pm
genxr July 25, 2011 at 5:53 pm

Camp Mohawk?

flamingpdog July 25, 2011 at 6:32 pm

Mein Kamp F?

Chet Kincaid July 25, 2011 at 6:36 pm

hehehe

Lascauxcaveman July 25, 2011 at 6:32 pm

Camp Comeoneyewannalaya Ifyou'reawhitemaleteenager?

Crank_Tango July 25, 2011 at 6:34 pm

Hitler?

McGreek July 25, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Crystal Lake?

horsedreamer_1 July 25, 2011 at 7:48 pm

CKY?

SorosBot July 25, 2011 at 8:35 pm
anniegetyerfun July 26, 2011 at 1:03 am

Camp Granada?

littlebigdaddy July 25, 2011 at 5:27 pm

This is the greatest abuse of logic in something Norway-related since Monty Python's Dead Parrot sketch. (It was a Norwegian Blue, remember).

johnnymeatworth July 25, 2011 at 6:02 pm

The Norwegian Blue prefers big government and multiculturalism. Beautiful plumage….

anniegetyerfun July 26, 2011 at 1:04 am

He was pining for the fjords.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 25, 2011 at 5:27 pm

He is doing the work of a madman. He is doing the work of what all people who want big government always do, and that is commit terrorist acts

Yes, the 9/11 terrorist were in fact motivated by their longing for the modern welfare state. In fact, one can remember how FDR and the Democrats of the 30s were able to establish the modern welfare state in America by bombing bus and train stations until the noble Republicans of that time finally relented in an attempt to stop the killing.

As for the work of a madman, I'm sure that Beck is an expert of that…, or at least his staff.

Redhead July 25, 2011 at 11:52 pm

You know, I'd forgotten that the guy who flew his airplane into that tax office and, hell, the Oklahoma City bombing were all the work of men wishing for even more government in their lives.

SayItWithWookies July 25, 2011 at 5:27 pm

Well of course — because if you want big government, the first thing you'd want to do is blow up a government building. It just goes to show that if you start with your conclusion, you're not likely to let any of those annoying facts get in your way.
And Hitler Youth?! That might be the most horrific, unfeeling, disgusting thing Beck has ever said, even counting the mocking of a competitor's wife for having a miscarriage. Really, he's a walking, talking poster boy for the FCC to crack down on this revolting rhetoric.

PuckStopsHere July 25, 2011 at 5:35 pm

What are you talking about? It's not like he showed a tittie on air or something.

SayItWithWookies July 25, 2011 at 5:41 pm

Really — free speech starts at the wallet and ends at the aureola.

Anyway, here's a link to Beck's horrific behavior, including towards the wife of a DJ for another station:

"A couple days after Kelly's wife, Terry, had a miscarriage, Beck called her live on the air and says, 'We hear you had a miscarriage,' " remembers Brad Miller, a former Y95 DJ and Clear Channel programmer. "When Terry said, 'Yes,' Beck proceeded to joke about how Bruce [Kelly] apparently can't do anything right — about he can't even have a baby."

Lascauxcaveman July 25, 2011 at 6:36 pm

Nobody told him being a "shock jock" usually involves using *humor* that's shocking, not just being an insufferable prick.

anniegetyerfun July 25, 2011 at 7:42 pm

It's funny because their dreams were crushed!

elviouslyqueer July 25, 2011 at 5:53 pm

Oh, I dunno. Beck's done pretty well making a total boob of himself.

Rotundo_ July 25, 2011 at 7:13 pm

There was no use of the "Seven Deadly Words" or the three additional ones. (Damn I miss George Carlin) So in the eyes of the FCC: No naughty phrases, no naughtybits, no harm, no foul. You can advocate genocide over the airwaves and not get so much as a "tut tut", but anything they consider "dirty" will run you up a tab unless you have connections or good legal.

JoshuaNorton July 25, 2011 at 5:27 pm

I love that when teabaggers, wingnuts or fundies do insane things, their enablers are quick to start pre-emptive ass-covering about how they are only representing a small sect of extremists.

But when anyone else is involved they somehow represent their groups entire way of life.

finallyhappy July 25, 2011 at 7:19 pm

I wanted to say this but ok, you did it for me.

horsedreamer_1 July 25, 2011 at 7:51 pm

I appreciate your tact. Obviously, too, you never attended the sermons of Jeremiah Wright. Otherwise, you would have responded to J. Norton quite a bit differently.

finallyhappy July 25, 2011 at 8:03 pm

But(and this is the truth) Rev. Wright's mom was one of the two vice principals at my High school- the Philadelphia HS for Girls(and I was there during her tenure)

horsedreamer_1 July 26, 2011 at 9:15 am

Impressive. The only person from Philadelphia I know is only notable for talking funny. So, your brush with Brotherly Love is better.

poncho_pilot July 25, 2011 at 5:28 pm

so…is this GB's Coulter-like attempt to maintain his relevance? (and by relevance i mean, keep people buying his books.)

HobbesEvilTwin July 25, 2011 at 5:36 pm

GB was relevant?
I must have been on vacation that day.

poncho_pilot July 25, 2011 at 5:38 pm

sorry…repellant.

GuanoFaucet July 25, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Baby Aristotle weeps.

GOPCrusher July 25, 2011 at 5:31 pm

I'm confused. Isn't Big Government one of those Breitbart websites? Is Glenn Beck throwing his like minded travelers under the bus?

V572 Hair of Destiny July 25, 2011 at 5:31 pm

What's hard to figure out is how David Duchovny got to looking so young

horsedreamer_1 July 25, 2011 at 7:52 pm

All the extramarital sex, simulated, on Californication, & real, behind Tea Leoni's back. (She's hella good looking, too: why'd Dave cheat, then?)

benjo765 July 25, 2011 at 5:32 pm

Ha Ha Ha – Gee Glen, right is left on the roads over there etc isnt it?

Maybe he should focus on stopping his tea bagging buddies from destroying the US before dealing with norway, eh?

Sue4466 July 25, 2011 at 5:46 pm

One does have to wonder what color the clouds are in Glenn's world.

SexySmurf July 25, 2011 at 5:32 pm

You know who else tried to pin a terrorist attack on their political opponents?

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 25, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Glenn Beck?

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 25, 2011 at 5:43 pm

Jesus?

GOPCrusher July 25, 2011 at 5:50 pm

General Franco?

HobbesEvilTwin July 25, 2011 at 5:50 pm

Karl Rove?

V572 Hair of Destiny July 25, 2011 at 5:50 pm

Well, Hitler, natch. I mean I don't know that he did that, but it's kind of like Blago or Casey Anthony: he was so awful that he must be guilty of something.

WABishop July 25, 2011 at 5:54 pm

Newt "Salamander" Gingrich?

Chet Kincaid July 25, 2011 at 6:05 pm

You insult my intelligence with that link! Anyone who can't resist another retread documentary on the Hitler Channel already knows the answer. Tonight's show: "Hiter's Kitchens: Inside the PantryDivision of the Third Reich".

finallyhappy July 25, 2011 at 7:20 pm

I swear there is a show on about Nazis and UFOs tonight

Rotundo_ July 25, 2011 at 7:21 pm

That actually *would*be an interesting show: Hitlers' Chef? Imagine cooking for a megalomaniacal freak with digestive problems that would render him doubled over in pain and serially firing off really loud and really hellish farts. Much of the hack medicine practiced on him dealt with sleep and digestive issues mostly rank smelling gas. I'll bet that anyone cooking for him had some interesting tales to tell.

genxr July 25, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Barney the Dinosaur, in a special Christmas episode?

flamingpdog July 25, 2011 at 6:36 pm

MIchelle Bachmann?

lumpenprole July 25, 2011 at 10:38 pm

George W Bush?

DoktorThompson July 25, 2011 at 11:32 pm

Macho Man Randy Savage?

anniegetyerfun July 26, 2011 at 1:05 am

The people in the Pakistani government who killed Benazir Bhutto?

PuckStopsHere July 25, 2011 at 5:33 pm

I saw over the weekend where somebody said when a muslin commits an act of terror, all of Islam is indicted. But, when a christian commits an act of terror, he is acting alone.

V572 Hair of Destiny July 25, 2011 at 5:38 pm

It's like in Israel, where Jewish terrorists are always portrayed as madmen, whereas Arab terrorists are cool, calculating terrorists.

doloras July 25, 2011 at 5:42 pm

And when an atheist commits an act of terror, he wasn't REALLY an atheist.

Lascauxcaveman July 25, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Atheist terrorists? By God, I've never heard of such a thing. Honestly, has there ever been one?

iburl July 25, 2011 at 7:32 pm

If you count denying the divinity of Christ as terrorism, yes.

anniegetyerfun July 25, 2011 at 7:48 pm

Wingnuts would tell you that Hitler was an atheist, and he did bad things. Bad things that they like to think about while masturbating.

Negropolis July 26, 2011 at 1:36 am

Well, I do think Timmy McVeigh considered himself and atheist. There are a lot of terrorists that are only "culturally Christian" if that makes sense.

Sue4466 July 25, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Are you saying that's not true? Cause I'm pretty sure it is.

arihaya July 26, 2011 at 5:18 am

Stupid Libs… according to Pamela Geller when a Muslin commits an act of terror, all of Muslims is indicted. But, when a Christian commits an act of terror, it is also Muslim's fault

Trannysurprise July 25, 2011 at 5:33 pm

Glenn just couldn't support this guy. I mean he killed white kids and that's where Glenn draws the line. Up until then though, he was pretty much golden.

Chet Kincaid July 25, 2011 at 6:08 pm

You beat me to the heart of the matter!

fartknocker July 25, 2011 at 5:33 pm

Glenn:

Don't come to Austin from your new Dallas home. We liberal weenies work out, drink beer, and our size 11 Justin Ropers (with steel toes) can be made to fit into your wimpy, run-away from New York cause you couldn't man up, waste of a fuckstick mouth breathing shit for brains. Little boy, if you can't make in New York what they hell makes you can make in a state full of people with the likes of Kay Bailey Hutchinson, Rick Perry, the Board of Education and the Bushes continuously screwing with us? My 77 year old mother has more charisma and guts than you'll ever experience.

STFU and move into your house – and don't come out unless your going over to Shrubs little library at SMU to study more bullshit. Come south of the Brazos river, you're ass is mine.

Welcome to Texas shit heel.

ArmoredLibunatic July 25, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Typical LIEbrul threats of violence arglbargle

Papa_Uniform July 25, 2011 at 7:09 pm

Mr. Fartknocker,
If you could see that one of those Justin Roper steel toes was placed in an orifice just a bit lower than Beckers ugly mouth, I'd be much obliged.

Rotundo_ July 25, 2011 at 7:29 pm

Thanks, It is good to know that Texans will welcome Glenn into their midst warmly and make him feel at home. Here is hoping he does take in some of the local nightlife and get to know his fellow Texans on a much more intimate level. Size 11 Justin Ropers with steel toes sound like a good start to a long close relationship.

LetUsBray July 25, 2011 at 10:59 pm

Before too long Bleck will have made his house into a frou-frou little blowhard-bunker like his buddy Lardbutt, is my guess.

greypanter July 26, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Your Austin neighbor seconds the motion. However, it's unlikely that Mr. Beck will come to the epicenter of Blue Texas. The Republican ghetto of Georgetown is the closest he would dare to come, I'll wager.

jus_wonderin July 25, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Well, fuck dee doo, my day is now complete. Glenn Beck has told me what to think.

MiniMencken July 25, 2011 at 5:36 pm

How desperate for diversion do you have to be to sit through a Glenn Beck radio broadcast? His style of argument makes my ears glaze over.

ArmoredLibunatic July 25, 2011 at 6:42 pm

If by "glaze over" you mean "get filled with buckets and buckets of FUCK."

poncho_pilot July 25, 2011 at 5:37 pm

man, the downfister has it in for me today. whatevs, you fucking bigot. if you want "Poncho Pilot to give a fuck about being downfisted" you'll have to suck it out of Poncho Pilot's cock.

CalamityJames July 25, 2011 at 5:59 pm

Suddenly, I really want you to care about being downfisted.
Scratch that, I want us ALL to care.

MissusBarry July 25, 2011 at 7:08 pm

Eh, teh Wonks reward for well-played snark and it's evident that their benevolent upfisting far outstrips the fap-happy troll or two who happen to be lurking, trying pathetically to create dischord and ill will. I am secure in my p-ness and radiant in my wonkitude. The McDownfisties cannot break my wonky spirit. They can, however, go fuck themselves.

fuflans July 25, 2011 at 7:59 pm

what i don't understand is why they follow us in that special 'notification in the inbox' sort of way.

almost makes me blush.

AJWjr. July 25, 2011 at 9:55 pm

All I have showing anymore is an upfist button, which, if it's the new normal, is gonna make ol' spanky quite sad.

JoshuaNorton July 25, 2011 at 5:38 pm

10 gallons of ass in a 5 gallon hat.

DerrickWildcat July 25, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Hobo camp?

kissawookiee July 25, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Glenn, if you're going to serve up that much pretzel with your logic, at least have the courtesy to include the several vats of beer I'm going to need in order to choke it down.

MinAgain July 25, 2011 at 5:43 pm

Now where did I put that damn conspiracy theorist decoder ring?

Sue4466 July 25, 2011 at 5:44 pm

So, let me get this straight. The kids attending this camp were Hitler Youth, so the guy shooting them was a liberal trying to prop up big government? and that's why he also bombed a government building?

And Beck's audience just nodded their heads in agreement. Because "facts, meh. I got me some cheetos to eat."

fuflans July 25, 2011 at 8:01 pm

what i've always wondered is "do the scooter olds ALSO eat cheetos?"

cause i think that's weird.

Fare la Volpe July 25, 2011 at 5:44 pm

That's it. The sky is green, grass is orange, and everything is exactly what it cannot be.

There is no art, there is no reality, there is only nonsense. Conservatives have finally made me a Dadaist. L.H.O.O.Q.

Crank_Tango July 25, 2011 at 6:40 pm

I thought dada was just toilets…

Fare la Volpe July 25, 2011 at 8:25 pm

It's fountains all the way down.

Crank_Tango July 25, 2011 at 8:46 pm

ooh i guess i've been pissing in the wrong places then…

donner_froh July 25, 2011 at 5:44 pm

I posted this already but what the hell…

Breivik = Beck with a gun.

el_donaldo July 25, 2011 at 5:51 pm

And if you were to continue posting that day after day it would still be as relevant – until Beck fades completely and the next Teabagger conspiracy king emerges or the next neo-fascist goes on a killing spree.

Pragmatist2 July 25, 2011 at 5:45 pm

Storm Thurmond and William Rehnquist were Norwegian. I rest my case.

Crank_Tango July 25, 2011 at 6:41 pm

Karl Fucking Rove.

Pragmatist2 July 25, 2011 at 7:20 pm

Michelle Bachmann – this is getting freaky.

flamingpdog July 25, 2011 at 8:10 pm

Wasn't Strom Thurmond a "mulitculturalist", in bed?

Pragmatist2 July 25, 2011 at 8:15 pm

No. He had a forked tongue and was a multi linguist in bed.

ShaveTheWhales July 25, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Hey, watch it! I'm 3/4.

Oh, and Rehnquist went to my high school, to my everlasting shame.

horsedreamer_1 July 26, 2011 at 9:18 am

Shorewood?

ShaveTheWhales July 26, 2011 at 7:04 pm

Slightly before my time, though.

weejee July 25, 2011 at 5:46 pm

From that tape it would appear the Faux Newz tempered the drool from GB. F***ing amazing that.

JackObin July 25, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Someone needs to inform the Beck half-wit that the largest part of the gummit is the military, costing he and his billionaire bosses a trillion a year. He must also be told that said military is full of loons, racists and din-a-lings.

Fox n Fiends July 25, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Beck got some Norwegian Wood the second he heard about his new idol's shooting spree.

NorthStarSpanx July 25, 2011 at 5:47 pm

Hey, I was loathe to watch any kind of footage of Jesus Camp. Seeing those innocent kids slobber and speak in tongues is no fun whether it is an epileptic seizure or in prayer – However, I have NEVER fantasized about cutting them down with guns and blowing up buildings.
http://jesuscampthemovie.com/

Fare la Volpe July 25, 2011 at 5:53 pm

Holy shit. Are anyone else's downfisties gone?

SexySmurf July 25, 2011 at 5:55 pm

Yep. Looks like Stanky might actually have to get a life now.

SayItWithWookies July 25, 2011 at 6:04 pm

Well there go half my followers — I will sooooo miss them.

Fare la Volpe July 25, 2011 at 6:12 pm

I always love a good sock puppet show.

Crank_Tango July 25, 2011 at 6:43 pm

I hear the pets.com dog thing has been doing quite a show down in tj, with a donkey…that is what you meant, right?

flamingpdog July 25, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Yeah, now downfisty will have to go back on his meds so that he can clear his mind enough to start posting his cogent comments again.

Redhead July 25, 2011 at 11:39 pm

spanky posting cogent comments? I must have missed that 30 second span…

not that Dewey July 25, 2011 at 6:47 pm

Yeah, but i just figured our liberal overlords were conducting an experiment on mandatory Soros-proper-thinking. Were we supposed to be choosing downfists?

glamourdammerung July 25, 2011 at 7:09 pm

I am sure spanky is going to have to defecate himself now and scream until he turns red. After all, that drives those libtards crazy to see morons coated in feces screaming incoherently.

MissusBarry July 25, 2011 at 7:19 pm

It does make mobile-fisting less perilous.

Warpde July 25, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Sorry, I can only come up with this tribute to McDownfiester.

"You don't have to worry, Kid. I ain't gonna kill you. You're the only friend I got. "
" Mr. Watson, can you hear me now."
"Oh, the humanity and all the passengers screaming around here."

Cicada July 26, 2011 at 12:29 am

Yes, and I'm just going to say FUCK YEAH! I look forward to reading Wonkette without the threads dedicated to obsessing on the downfister. Added bonus: trolls will be forced to post out in the open instead of taking the chickenshit downfisting route. More entertainment value for the Wonketteers.

kingcocrazy July 25, 2011 at 5:55 pm

If Benn Gleck breaks winds in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

glamourdammerung July 25, 2011 at 6:26 pm

Yes, but only George Soros can hear it.

genxr July 25, 2011 at 6:38 pm

Unfortunately it is syndicated on his daily radio program across the nation.

flamingpdog July 25, 2011 at 6:43 pm

No, but if he lights a match, he can start a wildfire in Arizona. Illegal immigrants my ass, John McPlanecrash.

owhatever July 25, 2011 at 5:58 pm

And now we turn to Hymn 153: Aim Low for Kids.

Weenus299 July 25, 2011 at 6:01 pm

he terrorizes liberals, those people who give two shits about the quality of life.

deaddddd July 25, 2011 at 6:01 pm

All Glenn Beck does is take Alex Jones' nonsense and water it down a little for his (more) mainstream audience. Example:

Alex Jones: Breivik is a secret operative for the New World Order.
Glenn Beck: Brievik is a secret liberal.

lochnessmonster July 25, 2011 at 6:05 pm

Beck would know what terrorism is…he spews talk that terrorizes the listeners.

portermelmoth July 25, 2011 at 6:09 pm

John 'Cum-stache' Bolton, a man of infinitely higher grace and wisdom than the Beck-oid, said these acts were 'very un-Norwegian'. Never mind all the Hagar the Horribles who turned the North Sea into an abattoir drain during the darkest of Viking ages.

(No offense to modern Norge, but Bolton's just in denial that a white boy could have done these egregious acts.)

Chet Kincaid July 25, 2011 at 6:17 pm

Sounds like Bolton just made an argument for the Norwegian government to cut off all access to American right wing media and websites.

portermelmoth July 25, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Close to 200 other nations would be smart to do so, as well.

johnnyzhivago July 25, 2011 at 9:20 pm

Face it, America will ALWAYS be the place the world turns to for advice on bombmaking and warmongering.

lumpenprole July 25, 2011 at 10:47 pm

We should be so lucky!

LetUsBray July 25, 2011 at 11:04 pm

Or for the Norwegians for bomb and/or invade us for harboring and exporting terrorism.

el_donaldo July 25, 2011 at 6:14 pm

The more the evidence mounts that Beck and Breitbart and their ilk are intellectual kin with the Oslo shooter and with conservative fundamentalists like Al Qaeda the world over as well, the more torturous the logic will be they use to distance themselves. Until the logic finally snaps. I hope it's fun to watch and not horribly tragic again.

bflrtsplk July 25, 2011 at 6:21 pm

So he's blaming big government AND the parents and the children. It seems Glennda is way off his meds today or he's playing with the bottle AND the spoon.

Guppy06 July 25, 2011 at 6:23 pm

"He is doing the work of what all people who want big government always do, and that is commit terrorist acts"

At least 3 out of 4 of our illustrious presidential assassins have been in favor of smaller government. At least 2 of those 4 (Lincoln's and McKinley's) were actually in favor of no government.

A little fuzzy on the unsuccessful attempts, but I'm pretty sure the results will be similar.

genxr July 25, 2011 at 6:23 pm

He's right, this camp does sound like the Hitler Youth. And a Representative meeting constituents in the Safeway parking lot, that sounds a lot like the invasion of Poland.

horsedreamer_1 July 25, 2011 at 7:54 pm

You're Riebentropping balls, my friend. Plus-one.

__kth__ July 25, 2011 at 6:31 pm

WTF does Beck think "vacation Bible school" is? (yes urban hipsters, there is such a thing, and it is every bit as simultaneously tedious and horrifying as it sounds)

finallyhappy July 25, 2011 at 7:24 pm

They have it in the city too- I've seen vacay Bible school advertised at churches on 16th street in DC(not the church right near the White House but as you go north towards my house)

El Pinche July 25, 2011 at 6:38 pm

Beck is as relevant as Alex Jones at this point. Who gives a flying fuck?

iburl July 25, 2011 at 7:37 pm

You're giving Beck way too much credit.

El Pinche July 25, 2011 at 11:01 pm

Yeah, at least AJ is entertaining to some degree. Beck's shtick and his obsession with nazis is boring .

Actually, I saw an ad for a book or movie with AJ narrating on some basic cable station.

flamingpdog July 25, 2011 at 11:16 pm

Members of the Mile High Club?

Goonemeritus July 25, 2011 at 6:38 pm

So I actually listened to the full clip of this emotionally incontinent huckster. And in it calls Nazism an ideology of the far right. Did Glen not get the memo Hitler I’m told was a big lefty? Why does Glen hate history so much?
That the right would dare to make this argument shows how soulless and bankrupt they have become.

lefty74 July 25, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Boy's State?
You remember Glen!
Boy's State!
Maybe you need hypnosis therapy to go with that electro shock therapy.
You pitched and caught in a double header.

Doktor Zoom July 25, 2011 at 8:15 pm

You know what the chief product of Boy's State is?

BOY STATISTS!!!!

flamingpdog July 25, 2011 at 11:17 pm

I want to see the Boy's Statistics supporting that statement.

Guppy06 July 25, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Wait wait wait… Breivik attacked government targets because he throught the government was too small?

Similarly, then, Al Qaeda attacked the symbols of American business and militarism because bin Laden felt they, too, were too small. The mulsins secretly want greater wealth disparity and defense graft in the US!

Ergo, Glenn Beck is helping to give The Terrorists everything they want.

anniegetyerfun July 26, 2011 at 1:11 am

Hey, how else are they going to build up the government without first DESTROYING the government? It's like making an omelet – gotta break a few eggs, and mow down some children, before you can get started. It's logical, if you're fucking insane (like Beck).

flamingpdog July 25, 2011 at 6:46 pm

Could we just, once and for all, send Glen to the Beck of the bus, or better yet, underneath it.

flamingpdog July 25, 2011 at 6:53 pm

A tad off topic (but not much), if liberals really were terrorists, after reading this story on the front page of the NY Times, I might reconsider sending my kids to youth camp up in Maine.

finallyhappy July 25, 2011 at 7:26 pm

, what about the woman who was tired of the private plane nonsense in Miane- so now she sends her kids to camp in Europe.

snoopyfan2010 July 25, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Keep digging that hole Beck, the bottom is close.

AJWjr. July 25, 2011 at 10:12 pm

I thought beck was a bottom?

Warpde July 25, 2011 at 7:11 pm

"Beck also believes that because Breivik is a terrorist, he must therefore be a secret liberal"

Trust me Glen.
If all the terrorist, murdering, psychopathic fuckwad's out the were secret liberal's.
I doubt you would be around to have this conversation.

Fox n Fiends July 25, 2011 at 7:28 pm

So true. Terrorism, by nature, is a Conservative act.

natoslug July 26, 2011 at 11:46 am

Terrorism, by nature, is an extremist act. Although I guess you could argue that the more extreme you get, the more you become exactly like the fucktards at the other extreme. And since "conservatives" have been moving the bar further and further to the right as fast as their fat little legs can carry it, you pretty much have to be an extremist to be a proper conservative, you're correct. Fuck.

Duly_Noted July 25, 2011 at 7:12 pm

Glenn Beck is willing to accuse murdered children of attending a Hitler Youth camp. I so wish Joseph Welch were still alive.

conehead dog July 25, 2011 at 7:55 pm

He's willing to do it for ratings–which is even worse.

EatsBabyDingos July 25, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Beck is to logic what elephants are to golf.

anniegetyerfun July 26, 2011 at 1:12 am

Large and pooping all over the nice green space?

neiltheblaze July 25, 2011 at 7:32 pm

What's this? No down-fists to click? ha ha ha Our downfister asshole is gonna have to go back to pulling wings off of flies.

KenLayIsAlive July 25, 2011 at 9:50 pm

Haha. Where's mah freedumb?!

x111e7thst July 25, 2011 at 7:33 pm

"Our calculations indicate that this makes Beck a liberal terrorist sympathizer!", True but the really important thing about Crying Glenda is that he is a douche-bag sack of shit.

legalize everything July 25, 2011 at 7:43 pm

Sorry, I just got back from committing terrorist acts like I always do…so what's going on now?

maggiethegnat July 25, 2011 at 8:00 pm

liberal camp= Hitler Youth=liberal shooter eliminates more liberals. blowing up government buildings=supports big governement. Beck is clearly lost without the chalkboard.

finallyhappy July 25, 2011 at 8:01 pm

I just reached 100 p – when do I get my membership card?

fuflans July 25, 2011 at 8:04 pm

congrats – and on a glenda post too!

Doktor Zoom July 25, 2011 at 8:17 pm

Welcome to the Meaningless Achievement Club!

Here's your trophy!

not that Dewey July 25, 2011 at 11:00 pm

You tawdry whore! Are you giving that to everyone?

Doktor Zoom July 25, 2011 at 11:41 pm

You were the first to ask if there was a prize, or a hazing ritual, or an honorary anything. So, in your honor, the trophy will now be known as the "not that Dewey Commemorative Hazing Trophy for Meritorious p-ness Embiggening"

johnnyzhivago July 25, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Congratulations…. if I didn't have to work every couple of weeks I would have made this long ago.

AJWjr. July 25, 2011 at 10:17 pm

At least for now, you've got a fleeting chance due to no downfisty-clicky-thingy.

flamingpdog July 25, 2011 at 11:21 pm

Mebbe if you knew how to multiculturaltask…

ttommyunger July 25, 2011 at 8:15 pm

If I didn't know anything at all about Glenn Beck (or Andrew Brittlefart for that matter) I would think at first sight: that is a face made for punching. Knowing what I do about him, I would hesitate; not wanting to get any of him (them) on me.

johnnyzhivago July 25, 2011 at 9:15 pm

Punching may make you feel good, but a ballpine hammer would deliver the point more effectively.

ttommyunger July 25, 2011 at 10:05 pm

I like the way you think, Johnny.

user-of-owls July 25, 2011 at 8:29 pm

Funny story…and truthy to boot!

Growing up, we had a summer camp in our fair pueblita that catered to…wait for it…urban Armenian kids! Talk about boutique! The idea for Camp Hayastan was that all those citified Armenians needed a dollop of country livin' and a whole steamshovel bucket full of indoctrination. Apparently, in addition to the Rope Challenge and Beadwork badges, one could also earn badges in High Explosives, Booby Traps and Submachine Gun Use! This must have been way better than swimming across the lake in hopes of copping a feel.

So anyway, the rotten Feds raided the joint when I was 16 or 17 and spoiled the whole party. What squares! Thus your beloved Owls literally grew up next to a terrorist training camp…before it was hip to do so!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mourad_Topalian#Indi

ragnarok4msm July 25, 2011 at 9:00 pm

What was the unibomber, i forget. A righty or leftie?

johnnyzhivago July 25, 2011 at 9:13 pm

Ambidexterous – he went both ways…

KenLayIsAlive July 25, 2011 at 9:54 pm

Crazy.

Negropolis July 26, 2011 at 1:45 am

He was your mom. I regret that there is no more downfist to register that you are a troll.

ragnarok4msm July 26, 2011 at 12:54 pm

A troll that gave you a +1. BTW whats a downfist ( a autistic martial art form?) I think you meant thumbs down as in the opposite of thumbs up.

jdoleman July 25, 2011 at 9:44 pm

He has met Wilders three times and thinks he is from Denmark?

Dummy

prommie July 25, 2011 at 9:52 pm

For Beck's audience, what they hear is "blah blah blah blah blah, you are right, they are wrong." They cannot discern between a logical, fact-based argument, and a disjointed, code-word filled, fantasy. I think there is an old Far Side strip that shows what a dog hears when you talk to it: "Blah blah blah blah FOOD blah blah blah." Thats what Tea-partiers hear. They pick out the loaded, code words, "Blah blah blah Liberals fascists socialism blah blah blah evil blah blah liberals did it." This is their level of comprehension, that of a fucking dog. True logical reasoning, an understanding of logical premises and how induction must also be tempered by objective observation, is as impossible to them as 10-dimensional calculus is to me.

a_pink_poodle July 25, 2011 at 10:00 pm

I bet Glenn Beck denounced Ward Churchill for his Eichmann comment too.

Redhead July 25, 2011 at 11:36 pm

But the kids were at a camp just like the Hitler youth, and Barry's a secret Nazi because he's Hitler reincarnated, so therefore this guy was… shooting at potential democratic presidential candidates who didn't hold the positions this crazy guy wanted them to!

Wait a minute… that's pretty much the official teabagger party rhetoric (don't retreat, reload!)

Negropolis July 26, 2011 at 1:47 am

I hope that no one ever forgets that criminal after criminal, terrorist after terrorist in the past few years has indentified Beck as one of their key inspirations.

Come here a minute July 26, 2011 at 8:48 am

You've got Glenny all wrong — the Tea Party camp is good because it's a PRO-AMERICA Hitler Youth camp.

smitallica July 26, 2011 at 11:23 am

"Who does a camp for kids that's all about poilitics?"
How about every church in this country, shit for brans?

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi July 26, 2011 at 2:13 pm

all Israel vs Norway info is now being censored

fr33dr1k July 27, 2011 at 6:53 am

Guess whos an Right-wing retard here? Yes, Glenn Beck. There is none parents that sends their children. It's the children that signs the papers of joining. This is youth taking action to be a part of the Norwegian goverment, so they can make a change, in their home town, their state or on a national basis. Glenn Beck really makes me sick.
I am an AUF member. The labour party youth organization. And it just makes me angry that someone can compare us to an Hitler Jugend!

a_mider July 27, 2011 at 9:53 am

As a Norweian socialist, I find everything in the clip midbogglingly offensive. I already knew that Beck was insane out of his mind, but this? THIS? It is so totaly backwards, it is like calling DoctorsWithoutBorders sadistic hartless torturers, or your founding fathers fredom-hating fascists. Don't you have the posibility to forcefully commit insane individuals to psycitric healtcare when it is so obvious that they are psycotic? He might not be harmfull to himself, but he sure is harmfull to sosciety.

horsedreamer_1 July 26, 2011 at 9:21 am

So, are you saying Good Will Hunting is a jihad training manual?

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