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Worshiping Allah together.An audience of 3 million is enough to keep a terrible show on television for many years or encourage a horror writer to publish literally anything he types, including fever dreams about his own mustache, and it’s also how many people in America apparently believe that Mitt Romney is Muslim. That’s the shocking results of some dumb new USA Today poll/listicle that follows the proud Vanity Fair/CBS News survey tradition of calling up a representative sample of America’s Idiots to ask it some questions such as “Is the sky over you or under you” and “How about you try to go to the bathroom now so you don’t poop yourself again?”

USA Today, everybody:

The faith factor in the 2012 presidential race is pretty fuzzy. Not only do most Americans fail to identify President Barack Obama as Christian, three in four don’t know Mitt Romney is a Mormon, according to a new survey.

Well, sure. But how many think Romney is a Muslim?

40% of Americans don’t know Obama’s religion; 38% correctly call him Christian, 18% continue to wrongly identify him as Muslim; 4% says he’s not religious.

40% correctly identify Romney as Mormon; 46% don’t know, 11% call him some form of Christian (1% Muslim, 1% not religious, 1% never heard of him).

So is “Muslim” now considered “some form of Christian”? Anyway, the only True God is the Baphoment. You are worshiping the Baphomet right now, whether you intend to worship it or not. (The Baphomet is paid in “breath tokens,” so when you breathe His Foul Aire, you are worshiping at the Hideous Altar of the Baphomet. Romney, too! Because “Romney” — like all names and words — means “worshiping at the Hideous Altar of the Baphomet.”) [USA Today]

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