One would think that Barack Obama, illegal Kenyan anchor baby that he is, would have special place in his heart for all the other people who live in this country even though they are not allowed. WRONG! “The Obama administration deported nearly 400,000 people last year – a record – with the number driven up by those tossed out for traffic violations and drunken driving, according to a report on Friday.” Barack Obama loves deporting all the Mexicans, especially the ones who drive around with sinister thoughts and broken headlights.
Bad drivers, drunk drivers, and people who get caught with drugs are top priority for national security! We can’t have clumsy people driving around with a bunch of weed all the time, because that is how terrorism happens.
During the fiscal year that ended in Sept. 30, 393,000 people were deported, and half of those were considered criminals. Of the criminal deportations, 7 percent were based on traffic violations, 23 percent were drug violations and 14 percent were drunken driving violations, according to an analysis by the AP.
President Obama has said that his administration’s enforcement policy seeks to target the “worst of the worst” and not individuals who have come to the country to work, but the large number of people who were deported after having committed minor crimes challenges that idea, the report said.
Administration officials disputed the findings, saying that it is difficult to capture the increase in arrests of dangerous criminals because they are currently in jail in the U.S. and have not been deported, which means they are not reflected in current deportation statistics.
“The more serious offenders are still in prison,” Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano told the AP. “We’re not going to see them reflected in the numbers until we can begin to remove them.”
Eh, let’s keep all the scary murdering ones around. Michele Bachmann might need more body guards at some point. [Politico]
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Now if he could just do something about all the olds driving in Florida before I get there Sunday.
Hurricane season will take care of that. If not, cuts to Medicare will finish the job soon enough.
A cowardly Allen West approves this message.
You are no lady.
I don't know about you, but that is just the kind of woman I am looking for.
What's wrong? Not hot enough for you in the north?
Has this cut down on the headless bodies in the Arizona desert too?
Most of them have been deported, yes.
The bodies or the heads?
Well they don't call it a torso count, you know.
Yes.
You mean the ones that started all those forest fires? Damn combustible, those illegal headless bodies.
What about the headless Republicans in the Arizona legislature?
What about the headless Republicans running for president?
Well, it certainly cut an unseemly number of them down.
Finish the danged fence.
Didn't they just deport all of the available labor to do that?
If this report is any indication, they will be driving drunk and/or high and run the stop sign before hitting (or driving through) the wall.
Wingnut Logic: Yeah, but if we had secured out borders, we wouldn't have had to deport 400,000 illegals breaking out laws.
Maybe President Obama could label it a "jobs" program. We just shoot anyone that tries to cross the border and pay people to dispose of the corpses? Nah, doesn't sound like the kind of work Americans would do.
We can’t have clumsy people driving around with a bunch of weed all the time, because that is how terrorism happens.
May I present the Texas Department of Public Safety?
~
The more I watch the GOP field, the luckier I think those 393,000 people are.
Psst, Obama: the racists are never gonna like you, no matter how many Mexicans you deport; stop trying to appease them.
The whole uptick in arrests and deportations was driven by a new rule: Cops automatically pull over low-rider Buicks with bumper stickers that say "This vehicle powered by TEQUILA."
Damn, I'll have to warn my mom.
We will be begging for immigrants in about ten years when the Baby boom finally get’s to spend their days watching Judge Judy while sipping prune smoothies.
I am practically begging for immigrants right now as it is. Specifically asian girl immigrants, cute ones.
Go down to the nearest dock and check out the big containers. I'm pretty sure you'll find a bunch.
Ten years? It's already started; my boomer parents are now both retired and gallivanting about the world.
My boomer parents are now both working their asses off in order to get their retirement accounts back to where they were in 1995. FREEDOM!
Mmmm…prune smoothie. Just thinking about it makes me need to go to the bathroom.
I rely on bran cereal and Thai chili sauce.
Ferran Adria will have you know that's called "fusion" where he's from.
You're not Oldz enough. That Thai chilli sauce is chock full of salt. Yeah, yeah, I know the latest research claims salt is not implicated in high blood pressure, necessarily, but I can feel mine soaring the minute it hits my tongue.
For home-made chilli sauce that will clean out your system faster than a quart of prune juice, try the really hot bird's eye chillies (aka chilli padi) if you can find them. Stem those and throw a bowlful into a blender/macerator/thingummybob with a couple garlic bulbs, a piece of ginger the size of your thumb-tip, a little smidge of vinegar and some gula jawa (palm sugar, brown, sold in cakes) if you can find it. If not, substitute a tiny quantity of molasses or a dark honey. Adjust proportions to taste. Guaranteed to keep your pipes clean.
Way too much work. Get yourself a bottle of Blair's Sudden Death.
By the time you use enough of that to have a problem with the salt, you're gonna have a whole world of other problems.
You haven't been keeping up with the news. AZ's own Russell Pearce, immediately after SB 1070 passed, did a back door deal to get the "illegals" back because farmers couldn't find the labour they needed for the harvest; Georgia is currently experiencing massive food waste for exactly the same reason, although they're trying prison labour, I b'leev. CA came to terms with it a while back — we need the labour and no American wants to do stoop labour — no, wait, let me rephrase that — no American CAN do stoop labour without workers' comp and health care. Because we're all fat lazy fucks who would die from working half an hour in the hot sun doing what these people do so we can have our cheap produce.
Deported from South Carolina. Basically, an improvement.
Do people from Charleston still say they are from Charleston and not from SC?
Keep 'em out to begin with. If we would just listen and combine Herman Cain's alligator moat with Rand Paul's invisible fence, we would end up with an electrified barrier populated by the sort of mutant crocodiles normally found only around nuclear reactors in the south of France.
Now I am going to have cauchemars of invisible crocodiles.
Ron Paul has a plan for an invisible fence? Wouldn't we have to force all Mexicans to wear those pet collars, then?
So the plan isn't perfect.
I watched a documentary on saltwater crocodiles, recently. Those fuckers have brains. They can think, learn, and plan. I think we will greatly regret adopting Herman Cain's plan when they rise as one and waddle, a mighty, toothed reptile army, straight for our jugulars. Fuckers move *much* faster on land than I'd give them credit for.
DWI isn't a minor crime. It may, in its unenhanced state, be a misdemeanor, but every drunk driver carries a dramatically-increased danger for destruction. Ask my wife where her father is, or my cousin where his fiancée is. Drunk driving takes innocent lives.
Ask my brother where his three children are.
I've seen news stories here in New Mexico where people have 10+ DWIs and they are still set free to do it again.
Well, it's not like they were using drugs or anything; that would merit a long sentence.
Your state (hi, neighbor!) was just home to a Supreme Court reversal in a dwi case because a different chemist than the one who tested the blood testified at trial.
Every time I hear an idiot mouth on about how the gummint shouldn't tell him not to drive after a Jack and Miller bender, it frustrates me to no end. It's not hard to drink and not drive, yet people just won't stop doing this one thing that is the direct cause of so much woe.
Hi back! I have a ZERO tolerance for drinking and driving. If my husband does it and gets nailed he will lose his gaming license and we won't have money to squander on food and fuel. In NM, they will print a color picture of you in the paper when you are caught. Very ugly stuff.
Whoa, you've heard people actually claim that they should be allowed to drive drunk? I've known assholes, but no one who's gone that far into total douchebagerry.
Lots of libertarians/sovereign citizens/Teabaggers think that way. You see them in court every day objecting that the flag has gold fringe on it and they refuse to be tried under admiralty jurisdiction.
Oh yeah. In fact a lot of them still drive after their privilege has been revoked and then bitch about the Nanny State when they are sentenced as a Habitual Offender and sent to slam. Then they get out and drive to see their parole officer.
And serious comments take a lot of patience to get through.
Wow, I guess I'd better re-evaluate my driving habits; I've already got 4 points on my record.
Patriotic Teabaggie volunteer border guards hear about all these Messican deportations and say: la la la la la we can't hear you.
bagger anthem:
'lalalalalala i can't hear you black man lalalalalala i can't hear you white house lalalalala i can't hear you'
Things keep going the way they are, we may all soon beg to be deported
To tell a family secret, my grandmother was Dutch. So, send me there! (Free ticket to Europe–SWEET!)
Happens to USCs with alarming regularity. Mostly the brown ones, of course. And, of course there are relatively quick and easy ways to confirm citizenship, but who wants to when there's a scary brown dude changing lanes without signaling?
It's why I am always extremely careful to obey the laws at all times in public. Being not-white carries an extra penalty of watchfulness. You never know when someone's going to attempt to subject you to a beatdown on account of brownness. Best to avoid any attention.
Aw, Pristine, that statement genuinely gives me teh sadz. It shouldn't be an unearned privilege to be pale as fuck. If it's even a tiny consolation, I burn just seeing an image of the sun on tv.
I found out, while holidaying in Bali, that teh Brown is no protection against teh Burn. I was with an Irish-American friend who kept saying, "Damn, you're gonna burn like a weiner in a fire," or at least that's what I thought he said. We'd both done the standard dose of magic mushrooms, so who knows? In the event, I flipped him a finger (traditional salute to that pale redhead skin, yaknow?). Several hours later we were lying side by side, pouring entire bottles of baby lotion over each other between groans and pain-inspired weeping. A few days later, we each helped the other remove the burned skin, which was peeling off in sheets.
Haven't gone out without sunscreen since.
President Obama has said that his administration’s enforcement policy seeks to target the “worst of the worst”
Then he's failed. Cantor, Boner, Yurtle the Turtle and the rest of the GOP are still here.
Deported? If only! Wait till the compromise on this this manufactured "debt ceiling" bullshit gets made. Assfucking. No dinner, no movie, no lube.
Yay, Secure Communities! I know I feel safer knowing that you're going to catch and deport Speedy Gonzalez, rather than throwing a couple points on his license and making him pay more for insurance. Wait, what do you mean he can't get a license or insurance? Who's paying for my new bumper? Me?!?
If Obama had an (R) after his name, the Republicans would have already named an aircraft carrier after him.
I can't wait for the SS Chris Christie to sail the not-at-all-ironic seas.
Fat Jesus. Too Big to Sail.
A super tanker.
The flagship of the new dirigible fleet.
Can we deport the haboobs?
I no haz boobs
butt I likes 'em
no deport pleez
Hey, you can deport whatever boobs you want, but this is America. You're gonna be hearin' some complainin'.
I have no argument with deporting those who drive while under the influence of alcohol. My dead niece and her best friend would agree. Hell, amend the Constitution so we can deport US citizens who drive under the influence, for that matter.
And jaywalkers, too! (Had to add some snark, you know)
What do plan on doing with no tax dollars from NYC?
I'm sorry for your loss. (hugs)
Hey, I didn't say you could feel my ass. (had to add some snark, you know)
Then again, I didn't say that you couldn't……….
Then that saves me the trouble of explaining what's poking you in the abdomen during that very nice hug.
We're not to far off on the jaywalking thing.
Kind of my thoughts….I'm okay with us deporting these creeps but lets not limit it to Messicuns.
Nopey is going to go down in history as the best republican president since the last one that wasn't a total failure…Eisenhower maybe?
Roosevelt? Not that one, the other one.
Eleanor?
Elea or whom?
Eleanor Gonzalez. (Who knew he had a little sister?)
Bill Clinton.
Ike was better. He at least understood what a bunch of grifters the Chiefs of Staff and the military contractors were (are).
Ben Franklin
Samuel Adams? Brewer, patriot, president.
ALT-TEXT: the Obama giveth and the Obama taketh away
Eh, New testament exegetical FAIL, Obammerz. The gospel of Matthew/ Luke etc., clearly state when you flush out all the demons, they stay away a while then circle back around to find the place so nicely cleared out that they invite all their additionally gnarly and repugnant demon-buddies and they stay up and party-trash your house, but curiously you're the one with the hangover next day, as well as the nagging question why cleaning them out to begin with hadn't worked.
Moral: when you run out (of) things to demonize, all that's left will be your own reflection in the mirror telling you the real demon never left.
Now that you bring it up, are we really sure that Rick Perry was born in the United States? I'd love to see him and Lou Dobbs "accidentally" sent to Venezuela.
with Rick Scott!
I honestly wish someone would start ragging on that meme if Perry runs. Totally turn that crap around on their asses. Hey, we can do some silly shit too so we might as well make hay while (when?) that sun is shining.
"Rick, where is your fucking long form Berf Cert???"
Ricardo Perez is a Manchurian Candidate of the Sinaloa Cartel.
FACT.
Anyone ever considered actually supporting Teatards' push to rescind the 14th Amendment so we could deport Repubs as well as "anchor babies?
You can deport people who text while drving?
Oh yes please. And you can start with the Mississippi House of Representatives.
Amendment XXVI: Any asshole, citizen or not, who shall operate a motor vehicle, hoveround, lawn mower or other powered conveyance while under the influence of alcohol or while operating a communications device that requires the ability to walk and chew gum at the same time, shall be slapped once on each cheek by Steverino247 or his designee and then deported.
Done.
You've got my vote. Wait, are we voting on this?
Yes, we are, but keep your eyes out for the menacing black guy with a stick.
You know, if the policy was to deport drunk drivers whether they are citizens or not, we wouldn't have had to suffer through GW Bush's presidency. Just sayin'.
WIN +++++++
Shouldn't Obama get credit for creating jobs because he deported all these people who were taking jobs away from real Americans?
Bad drivers, drunk drivers, and people who get caught with drugs are top priority for national security!
Then why is George Bush still here?
And Laura too.
He has the War Criminal exemption.
Good drivers look forward, not backward.
An anchor baby born before the civil war had a better chance of living with both parents than in Obama's america…think about that shit.
It's now really easy to profile for illegal immigrants. You just look for the only car on the road that's obeying traffic laws.
This is bad news for Mittens' housekeepers…
Really? Is "driving with shibari dog on the roof" also a deportation trigger?
Instead of deporting them straightaway, the government should make them serve a sentence of harvesting crops for a season in places like, say, Georgia, and then toss the buggers out!
Two problems solved. What could go wrong?
Do you want to have to keep breaking in new workers? You would be better off keeping them on those places where they plant stuff (maybe they're called plantations?) and having them harvest crops season after season.
It would be cost-effective since you could just shove them all into a few shacks.
Make sure they wash their hands, too. We don't need any more e-coli outbreaks.
Well, yeah, but then you'd have to build them terlets, and stuff.
Ho leido que ESPN Deportes los mas pero tambien ho leido que Fox Deportes los mas. Sabes quien es?
ESPN Deportes es mas macho.
Well, considering that drunk drivers kill about 50,000 times as many people every year as terrorists in the U.S., I don't really have a problem with this.
Can we send the army after drunk drivers? Especially that rogue squad I read about in Rolling Stone.
Yeah, it really doesn't trip the outrage meter, like haboobs and such.
That doesn't, but deporting people for other traffic violations & drug use does.
Predator drones patrolling the freeways.
"Is the guy in that silver Camry weaving a bit?"
"Yep. Take him out!"
I like that. If we make driving like a pithed frog a killable offense, we can recycle those dumb fucks into our own soil and build up, you know, a nice compost. Good crumb, good texture. Never mind about the *smell.*
If anyone is bored, feel free to drive the wingnuts crazy here: bostonherald.com
Jesus, Claire McCaskill could primary Obummer and bring him back to the "center".
this is good news for the tequilla party.
A very compact but powerful Haboob has struck Oslo, Norway, apparently because they were about to deport a Sharia Imam.
And finally that good for nothing illegal Jose Vargas got his driver's license revoked. Pulitzer, shmulitzer. Obviously he's the "worst of the worst"
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/...
Sorry, on my list of things to be "perpetually pissed off" about, this doesn't even move the needle.
All articles about Mexican drunk-driving become funnier when this picture is included.
Bullshit…that's a screen shot of a game I used to play called Carmageddon.
Wasn't Atta in the country legally (along with other of the hijackers)?
Even his flying license was in order.
Yep. This is real hope and change I can believe in.
During the fiscal year that ended in Sept. 30, 393,000 people were deported,
Obama is the leader in the clubhouse.
Wait, they're deporting Chinese women? That would definitely make the Safeway parking lot safer.
Maybe, but it's a shame if we can't keep the cute ones.
I'm sorry, what? I don't think anyone here in California has gotten the message yet. My mom had her neighbors help her move last month and they got pulled over a block away from home. Ooops. No license, no papers. Cop told them to see if someone else could drive. 2 weeks ago I got rear-ended on the freeway. No license, no id, no anything. No problem with the police that came by. I was told not to push it, be nice and let it go.
It's kind of sad that this administration is practically tripping over itself in bragging about how many people we kick out. Napolitano is damn-near giddy in that interview; it jumps right off of the page.
But who's gonna clean our bathrooms and swimming pools? THINK, Godammit!
Thanks Beo!
That's only 105,000 Scoville units, though. Those little red puppies pack a lot more heat.
Holidaying in Bali sounds lovely, but teh Burn is teh Bastard. I'm (half) of the same ethnic make as your friend and describe my complexion as "autopsy"…pale or fair doesn't impart the purplish hue.
I know the pain and the peeling intimately. Classified under stuff-that-sucks-ass.
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