Once upon a time, in America, there were sit-ins and boycotts and hippies getting it on in the back of vans, and this is how we attempted to achieve justice. But it is 2011 now, and young activists require tactics that not only prove a point, but provide really hilarious videos to post to the YouTube. This is why we now have “glitter bombing!” The young people love to do the glitter bombing, because they get to throw stuff on hate-mongering anti-gay wack jobs and gain Internet celebrity while also participating in the democratic process. Today, some inspired activists joined the war effort by donning leopard-print leotards and fur vests and parading into Bachmann & Associates, home of Gay-Curing Wizard Marcus Bachmann.
Here is your video of the self-proclaimed “Gay Barbarian Horde” creating a few minutes of awkwardness at the front desk of Bachmann & Associates, before chanting their made up version of a Lady Gaga song and having a photo op out front. Uh, mission accomplished!
It doesn’t count unless glitter actually makes contact with Marcus Bachmann! Obviously that probably happens all the time, but it has to be unwanted glitter, and on camera. [YouTube]
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Sorry, I'm all for supporting the ideas of this movement – but "glitter bombs"? This is the best they can come up with? Maybe I"m alone, but it just seems so dumb to me.
I know, should be Santorum bombs, right?
——
(My apologies to the other folks below who were also are ready for the next logical step in the war on the war against gays.)
But, pies would be great, right?
God, I was so disappointed. I want to see Murdoch in jail, not with some pie on his face. Who the fuck cares. Just gives them a chance to look sympathetic.
He did look pretty pathetic, though, when his adopted Chinese daughter had to protect him from a whipped cream pie.
What – that was his WIFE? Man I'd want to hit someone, too….
If you call her a trophy wife or social climber, she'll smack you.
Butt pies would be even better.
It's actually a good way to get the media talking about Bachmann's anti-gay agenda. I'm not usually a fan of this kind of stuff, but all of the media coverage of glitter bombings I've seen has mentioned why the recipient was targeted. That's a big deal when candidates are trying to market themselves to the mostly gay-friendly independent voters.
And hey, glitter is awesome!
Ahaha, Bachmann marketing herself to gay-friendly independent voters! Always look on the bright side of life, I guess.
Glitter also does zero damage. Sweep it up, not even a dry cleaning bill.
But, it's longevity is like that of the nuclear material at Hanford.
There's going to be (un)wanted glitter, to use Blair's expression, at Marcus's clinic for years. Yeeeeaaaars.
Yep, every time they move something in that reception area.
You know, I'm really miffed about that too. Turns out they don't let you use real bombs, which is what these fucking fucks deserve more than anything.
actually i think it's pretty fab (what, pies are better?).
and far FAR more importantly perfectly executed (marcus isn't there – go to plan b. none of that strange unscripted crowd wandering and muttering and camera blocking that you see in the average bagger protest. nope. they immediately break into pretty pictures, perfectly poised dance steps and song).
as a performer i have to say there is no one i would rather be stranded on stage in an improv sort of situation than the gayz.
I agree. I told my gay friends, "really? Glitter??? We're suppose to be the creative ones."
But, they do get credit for dressing up as barbarians, so maybe it's a wash?
This wouldn't have been the first time Marcus Bachmann got glitter-bombed by a gay barbarian horde.
Yes, but this one's not trying to get its collective tongue up his anus.
Though the previous times only glittered under UV light.
It's going to take me the rest of the day to get that mental image out of my head. Thanks.
I say bring back the cream pies!
I'm sure Marcus Bachmann would have liked nothing better then to get a cream pie from every dude in that mob.
thank you. this glitter thing is getting old.have you tried getting that shit out of your beard?
She usually does that herself (the beard, in case you were wondering).
Uhhhh… Are we talking about the same thing?
Silly pranksters. Marcus specifically told them to come after-hours. By the back door.
Marcus is a very gay Roman name. I'm just sayin'. Maybe Little Michelle should change her name to Livilla.
Or Incontinentia Buttocks.
They should be grateful the Bachmann staff didn't fwow them woughwy to the fwoow.
I heard Marcus Bachmann has a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'.
I bet he would swallow that.
Wewease Waja!
Whatever became of Incontinentia Buttocks?
Fascinating story. She and Biggus separated and both entered religious orders.
Biggus joined the Servants of Priapus.
Incontinentia's health improved greatly after she became a Sister of Immodium.
That made me laugh so hard, I nearly shot Nyquil out of my nose while farting. Although I hadn't taken any Nyquil, so, who knows? Must be channeling CalamityJames, who promises to perform at our Gay Wedding.
Marcus Dickus
I guess in Minnesota that counts as fashion forward?
Somehow, the barbarian horde from the credit card ads just doesn't mesh with glitter bombing. Dress like a Viking and bash the bastard with an axe, or dress like the Village People and fling the glitter, but please … don't mix and match like this!
(Aren't the gays supposed to have better fashion sense?)
Gurrrrrrrrrrrl, I always warned you, never shop the 90%-off rack at Nordstrom's. That's just a recipe for wrong.
Let's see if this works better here than in the Star Trek / Space Shuttle thread….
Looks to me like their next mission will be heading off to Eden, yeah, brother.
Best Trek episode evar. The third season was when they knew they were fucked so the writers started cranking out some weird-ass scripts, like the very last episode where Kirk became a transsexual.
"ONE."
I reach, brother.
Though, true to form, he did "get the girl".
Mr. Clean sure has funny ears there.
Yeah, but did you see the other guys'?
Why is it that in the Star Trek universe, all you need to be an "alien" is some cauliflower ear or a rotting leaf of cabbage on your forehead?
Well, at least in the later series, they seemed to be a bit more alien. Proving once and for all that evolution is a fact. Either that or the makeup budgets/technology got better.
Or be green or have a pattern of pigment running down the side of your face or neck.
I liked the silicon being- it looked like a huge moving rock- it killed but only because its eggs were being destroyed.
Horton Hears a Horta
Oh, Charles Napier. Sort of explains why he spent the next few decades playing hard-nosed military men, doesn't it?
"Herbert!!!"
I would recommend to the activists that they investigate:
- creme brulee bombing
- glitter glue bombing
- santorum bombing
specially the third one
In Rasta-speak, "de turd one."
I've been told by my literary friends that the combination of all three at once is portrayed in the final, unpublished manuscript of Dante Alighieri wherein he describes the final circle of hell.
Wrong! It was Harry Potter and the ClosetCase Misogynist.
Hold the creme. Just use the blowtorch.
Did Marcus ask them where they got their clothes?
He doesn't have to. Goodness, he buys Michele's, after all, and even knows where to get matching white shoes and jackets. That's no mean feat.
Ecce Closeti! Marcus et Aurelius sedent sub arbore. Marcus tenet Aureliuu gladium.
Non via! Vero?
marcus habet aurea imbri.
Did Marcus pray the gay to stay?
You bet he was looking for a gay lay.
I read that as "gay a lay" which made me think of "layaway" and imagined this is kind of how his clinic works: you don't get to take the gay home today, but tuck it safely away, and slowly pay for it over time.
No, but he prayed for some of them to come back after hours…
I think that's called "begging," or, in other circles, Jewish foreplay.
More like he payed the gay to stay. How else would his ugly ass keep one?
"The Barbarian Trannies of Minnesota" coming to Bravo TV soon!
A Gay of Thrones?
A Clash of Queens?
A Gayme of Throwin's?
A Ball of Flames?
A Dance with Drag-queens?
Fabulous!
I'd like to see a gay appropriation of the tribble in honor of George Takei. Gay activists could Dribble some Tribbles instead of "bombing," so that would be good. Plus, it would give some free press to "don't say gay, just say Takei!" The tribbles can be rainbow colored, too! (Insert smiley face here!) And you can be sure the staff won't sweep them all up into a dustpan and throw them away….
You might be on to something here … rainbow tribbles lurking around in Marcus' outer offices would be pretty funny.
Michele plays the victim card in 3…2…1…
Sarah Palin plays the victim card in…oh, she's pre-emptively played it? Yeah.
She's currently indisposed. Those damn heels caused her brain to implode again. Don't worry, though, she'll be back to her old batshit crazy self soon.
I keep telling folks, replace the glitter with brown hot santorum. It will get a better reaction.
Well, I think Marcus would actually enjoy it like that portly kid from Willy Wonka ..slrrrrppp nom nom nom.
I gots nothing, but this is a fine P.J. Harvey youtuber.
(Set speakers to eleventy, people!)
~
I don't think she's Marcus's type, but I wouldn't kick her outa bed for spilling cracker crumbs on the sheets.
Can I just say that Polly Jean's most recent album is probably the greatest thing to happen to music since kid A?
And I'm not really asking, cause I went ahead and said it anyway.
I read that first, & second, time thru as "P.J. O'Rourke" & was curious why you were linking to that entitled, Ivy League "radical" on Our Wonkette.
Gaynan! What is best in life?
To glitterbomb your enemies, see them bewildered before you, and to hear the nasal whining of their women. And then to upload it all to YouTube.
"Hither came Conan the Sensational, black-haired, sultry-eyed, swinging a big sheath, a beefcake, a diva, a raver, with gigantic melodramas and gigantic mirth, to tread the glittering runways of Rome, Paris and London under his manicured feet."
Brilliant!
Needs moar froth (see SpurningBeer, above).
I'd normally say just throw your shoe at them, but socks and sandals!? HEEELLLLOOOO!?!?!?
And now they're cured.
That'll be $634 ea please,
And please fill out those Medicare forms properly!
Medical Procedure Performed: Homosectomy
I feel sad that they didn't get to throw glitter on Marcus Bachmann. That is all.
Patience, young padawan. The chance will come.
So will Marcus, if they turn up nekky.
Tried to glitter bomb Marcus did they.
Doesn't he wear enough already?
Next thing you know they will start playing The Village People YMCA in his orifice, sorry, office.
I thought the whole idea was to get Marcus "Twinkle toes" Bachmann upset?
All they did was make him horny.
I don't know, I just don't think pies in the face and glitter bombs are striking fear in the heart of our dear plutocracy and their lackeys. Need to think of something else.
I know! Giant puppets!
Torches and pitchforks on the town square by night?
I don't own a pitchfork and I don't know how to make a torch … can we update this please?
I say some mysterious yacht sinkings are in order.
Remember the days when rich fucks' kids would actually do the bombing on behalf of the proles? William Ayers probably has some ordnance left that he was going to use on his Dad's mansion.
Exactly. Now? Nothing. Pies and big puppets and blogs (no offense to Wonkette).
We need to go back to the Founding Fathers – tar and feathers!
Dildos. Lots. Especially ones that are powered by car batteries.
Fun!!11!!
Zzzzzaaapp!
I think they work even better when they are powered by a Briggs & Stratton 4-horsepower lawnmower engine.
Did they really get that many bonus points just by buying glitter on their credit cards?
They should have been cold cosplaying Tony Curtis and Kirk Douglas in Spartacus.
Needs more flaming piles of poo.
I've said it before, but the Repubs could care less about the ghey now. It's all fluff. They'll pay lip service to the homophobe vote, and say they are not homophobes, but, no taxes — ever again, gutting government except the military, free markets, unfettered capitalism, guns, abortion, religion, Reagan, deregulation, Obama-hating, etc. are all way more important to these humping clowns.
Breitbart, Lindsay, Roberts, Foley, Marcus, Batchelor, the list is endless. The Dems cannot count on the ghey vote any longer.
I'm not following your logic. Because a handful of conservatives are rumored to be gay, gays won't vote for Democrats?
Eh, maybe I'm wrong (again), or not being clear here, but doesn't it seem that until recently the hardcore Repubs rejected the ghey out of hand — they were willing to write off gheys in an electoral sense.. And, of course, they haven't completely abandoned the homophobe vote. See Limbo or Santorum. But I think the Ailes and the Kochs have called off this issue as one of their hate or fear tools. The talking points I mentioned above, and others, have superseded the anti-ghey.
Yet, at the same time, it still seems odd to me when Limbo makes one of his lame Barney Frank jabs.
I think you are.
I think it's one thing to say they've backed on kind of wholesale gay-bashing, and a case can definitely be made for that, but it's not because they are trying to attract the vote, but because the tactic has had diminishing returns for them, electorally. Gays are no more going to abandon the Democratic party than any other consituent group, not with the Republican Party more crazy on almost every other issue than in its modern history.
Would you like some of my crow?
Your Republican Presidential campaign is in trouble when they Stop "glitter bombing" you.
Ask Newt Gingrich.
Oh Marcus you are just a little gay glitter bomb without these guys. Come of out of the closet and let your rainbow flag fly. You Savage.
If there is a Los Angeles equivalent of this group, may I suggest they pay a visit to the boneheaded columnist who came up with this crap?
The Marcus Bachmann hypocrisy
In the gossip about Marcus Bachmann, isn't it a little ironic that he's being hectored by people who regularly preach tolerance and rail against stereotypes? http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la…
(And no, Meghan Baum, it is not particularly ironic that people who are labelled as barbarians by this lame excuse of a human being are calling him out for it, nor would he be the first homophobe in the closet…)
You expected deep intellectual thought from Meghan Daum? You poor kid. She's just one more signpost on the road to the shitter that the L.A. Times has been travelling lo these last ten years.
That was the card the local homophobes tried to play on our group. Saying that tolerance for all opinions was the right way. So we were wrong for being against homphobia. We beat them using the courts- but of coure, we are in liberal MC, MD
O/T, Brisket Palin is on Dr. Drew right now new chin and all. She's so inarticulate I'm close to feeling sorry for her. Yikes!
Inarticulate?! I find that so hard to believe. You just have to wonder how that could have possibly happened given the fine upbringing she's received.
I know, right. But really, isn't there some prep done before, …..uh, nevermind.
Maybe if she had gone to five colleges like her mom did, she'd be articulate like her … oh, wait.
She's too much of an hard-ass worker to find time for schooling.
She probably does have oral skills, just not the sort that involve talking coherently.
SHE MAY BE INARTIKULATED BUT THEM TITAYS AINT *BURP*
Thank you, Dave Attell.
Hugh plus-one for this one.
"…we don't want to go down that road…"
Marcus, it's not a road, it's a Highway.
Oh, really? The men at the Rough Road Riders club told him differently.
needs moar nudity
For 150 grand I will cure the ghey away. Workin' on the syllabus as we speak. I want some o' dat gubmint cabbage. Cunt grifter.
Meh. At least it was better than those Capitol One commercials
BTW, Gay Barbarian Horde totally sounds like the name of some Manhattan hipster rock act.
I've said it before, but the Repubs could care less about the ghey now. It's all fluff. They'll pay lip service to the homophobe vote, and say they are not homophobes, but, no taxes — ever again, gutting government except the military, free markets, unfettered capitalism, guns, abortion, religion, Reagan, deregulation, Obama-hating, etc. are all way more important to these humping clowns.
Breitbart, Lindsay, Roberts, Foley, Marcus, Batchelor, the list is endless. The Dems cannot count on the ghey vote any longer.
Little did they know Marcus was in a three-way (counseling session, of course) in the back with Grover Norquist and Jonah Goldberg. The Glitter was a 'flyin, my friends.
Santorum was there, too (also), but it was still just a three-way.
That's an utterly disgusting image. My hat is off to you, sir.
So was Marcus, I b'leev.
Prolly catching, Grover and Jonah were pitching.
And for the first time in his life, Marcus Bachmann felt comfortable in his surroundings.
…if not in his skin.
Fuck glitter. Bring on the manure. Fight bullshit with bullshit.
Are we sure this isn't just a coincidental meetup between politics and viral marketing?
Oh, Conan. I thought you were going with the Subservient Chicken angle.
And too also, IntenseDebate is being an IntenseAsshole as is its wont and won't let me post on the twitter tea-p thread. I'm on to you, ID, you fear the awesome power of my comments!
Buggy code. Try reordering the comments. For some reason, that seems to work.
Meh, needs more fulminating silver.
I am so tired of glitter bombs. Can we put them behind us, like flash mobs? Por favor?
Well, just once, we could try a flash bomb glitter mob, they I'm guessing "the authorities" would not be amused.
Oh, I dunno about that.
Hmm, I think I must have missed Target's Flash Bomb section in the video. Was it before or after lingerie?
I like flash mobs-
Respect Dc just did one in Walmart
Daintily tossing sparkly confetti while wearing twee costumes and preening for a camera is this generation's Haymarket Square.
Well, in defense of the costumes, I would LERVE to be wearing that slitty gray thing that boy with the armwarmers has on. Although the armwarmers, spotty fleece, not so much.
Fashion preferences notwithstanding, I'm having difficulty conjuring up an image of Huey Newton sprinkling shiny bits on The Man whilst dressed as a post-meltdown Boy George.
Failure of imagination on my part, alas.
Yeah, back in the day it was cool to be bombing and shooting those who disagreed with one. We've gotten old, and also lame. Literally as well as figuratively.
I pictured this rocking considerably more than it actually did.
Oh, goodie, that was my vote!
I was hoping for Trogg
Well there are certainly countless possibilities for naming the poor child random words or collections of syllables or after strange sci-fi/fantasy creatures.
Trollpud McDownFister has been running like santorum through this site, I see. Upfists for all!
He's over there advertising Wonkette for Ken. We should thank him for the site hits.
He made sure to thank you immediately with a hearty downfisting. I think the fellow's fantasizing about eating my arm with his fisthole all the way up to the shoulder. Oh, darn, he just refollowed me, too. (Why does he DO that? ONE following is enough for most people, no?)
Goddamn, by the time I refresh, read through, and I comment, then refresh and deliver more upfists, I see that I've unintentionally written a nearly identical comment. Sorry, Pristine. The upfists are, of course, from the bottom of my wonky heart.
Pas de quois, MissusBarry. The hours of amusements I get at Teh Wonkettes is my reward. And they could not be without the wacky wonketteers.
Picked up a trolltastic follow, too.
One of our trolls is up past bed time and busy downfisting and likely fapping away at the thought of glitterfest 2011 with that dreamy Marcus. Upfists all around.
mittens sits in his corner just spinning and waiting.
"Show us on the doll where the mean comment touched you."
Heh – not mean … just better than what I would have come up with. I am reminded of Muhammad Ali watching Rocky (yes it is a pretentious comparison, shut up) when Apollo Creed declares himself "the Master of Disaster." Ali said "Master of Disaster – wish I thought of that."
Millions of years of evolution led up to this moment.
Sigh.
Am I the only one starting to think this whole evolution thing is better described as curvilinear?
You'd prefer maybe Cohen the Barbarian?
What is best in life? "Hot water,good dentishtry and shoft lavatory paper."
(Sorry to have stolen your thunder)
(Actually, no I'm not. For once I got the obvious movie line in first!)
Silver Horde forever!
And you also modified the obvious movie line to make it even better in this context! You win this time Doktor!
But that is another story…
I'm pretty sure this is what Marcus's wet dreams are like.
And how many of them voted last year?
Probably all of them, Katie, to be honest.
It took balls to do that.
Yeah, the modern protesters need to do something a lot stronger than that; they at least need to show enough that they can force the conservatives to remind us of the babe.
But they remind me of the babe …
..what babe?
The babe with the power.
What power?
The power of voodoo.
You do?
Who do?
What?
Remind me of the babe…
Marcus is going to have a crappy Friday. Poor Marcus. Give that witch hag your wife some Demoral.
Happy days from Texas.
I agree with the consensus here that glitter-bombing is a little tepid, but I'm also against violence. What I'm wondering is, if an activist is close enough to the target to douse him with glitter, couldn't he just plant a big kiss on him, right on the mouth? Fallback: kiss the interposing goon, photo op almost as good.
I kind of like what Taibbi and his Exile co-workers did. The cream pie filled with horse sperm.
Technically, that's both assault *and* battery, and they've probably been advised that they might find themselves under arrest, in jail, or on the receiving end of a civil (or maybe somewhat uncivil) suit.
What is Bachmann complaining about?
I would love to have a live performance of "The Rocky Horror Show" come to my office.
That's not a Glitter-bombing. That's just Steel Panther wilding out between shows.
This is just a modernized version of our founding father's method of tar and glittering British tax collectors.
oh and btw…they need some serious disciplining alright…those shoes and color coordination? oh honey…
More involvement is good, and so is having fun while smiting thine enemies. However, the tactics of the "Billionaires for Bush" were more effective in driving the narrative home for the lumpen bourgeoisie. Abby Hoffman would be a "Billionaire" for sure. Where are those people when we need them most?
I think they were in a parade in the Dc burbs recently but as Fat cats buying votes
Bully for them! It is indeed a sacrifice to purchase votes in the Tidal Basin in such dreadful weather while Nantucket breezes beckon. But, sacrifices must be made…by the little people of course.
What a fun day of gay they had.
Wouldn't glittering the glittery Marcus, be redundant???
Reading this in the midst of self-medicating, I shot nyquil out of my nose and farted simultaneously. Probably the coolest thing I've done with my life.
Cheers.
Well, we had the E.L.F. around here in Michigan a decade or so ago, but it stoped being fun when they set a historic classroom building on fire on the campus of Michigan State University because they were researching genetically modified (GM) crops. It'd have kind of been nice if they'd just have pied the university president. Now, all of them are in jail with serious felonies.
Ditto here in Washington. The ELF set fire to the Center for Urban Horticulture because they thought that some genetically modified croppage was going on. (It wasn't.)
My friend was a grad student there at the time, and some of her work was ruined (along with lots of other people's work). It's so ridiculous, because these are the crunchiest, granola-lovin' hippies in the world. They WOULD be sympathetic to something like ELF if ELF hadn't fucking *firebombed* them.
Keep reachin' for the stars….
Bingo. It's not like they went to Monsanto and terrorized them. They got to the people that they could actually convince of things if they opened the proper forum, and potentially turn them into enemies.
You can't discount good old hypocrisy.
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