We will post some favorites soon. No one has missed anything; it took 30 minutes to get through introductions.
Political Wire
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Authors
Rebecca Schoenkopf (424)
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (927)
Sulagna Misra (4)
Kris E. Benson (11)
Liz Colville (170)
John Schoenkopf (7)
Jim Newell (5640)
Josh Fruhlinger (646)
Erik Jay (27)
Blair Burke (181)
{ 111 comments }
"I'm very hot, which of you will come and fan me with an Obama is a Socialist poster?' That's hilarious!
Like finding a diamond in a cat litter box… maybe there is a God after all. Or at least a powerful entity with compassion for all living things.
"Watch The Clowns Hump Each Other"
Oh boy! Elephant sex! What is this the National Geographic channel?
It's a giant snakeball of stupid!
a veritable rat-king of retardation!
A frolic of filthyweaseling!
A mob of morans?
A Santorum of sociopaths!
Send in the clowns…don't bother, they're here…
Tweeting nit wits does not sound like a good time to me. That reminds me, I need to refill the bird feeder.
Ha ha: "Wonder if any of the candidates are tweeting themselves"
1. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
2. Not when anyone's watching
3. Only until they go blind…
etc.
Look for the telltale "Mr Gingrich y r u such a vibrant dynamic candidate & obvs shoe-in for prezdncy?"
140 characters of dumb.
Breaking: Gingrich Flew Private Charter to His Laptop for Twitter Debate
…and didn't pay the bill!
Who is this "Sippiecup" person? Why is she in my consciousness all of a sudden?
Sarah Palin started like that, and look where THAT went.
ADD: And I love that the "Loose Change" weirdos are hawking their wares here. "Who is responsible for Pan Am 103"? "How is it connected to 9/11?"
Genius.
Pan Am 103 was blown up by a bomb from Libya.
Libya is where the British defeated Rommel.
Rommel tried to stop D-Day invasion.
D-Day was part of "Saving Private Ryan" with Tom Hanks
Tom Hanks was in "Apollo 13" with Kevin Bacon.
See, I just needed someone to explain it to me…
Brilliant! And Pixie didn't even need a chalkboard!
Damn, JP!
sippiecup has a vote, just like you.
we'll be asking the candidates YOUR questions too, so tweet them
Let's make this one quick: is there anyone there who is *not* a closet case?
I'm amazed any actual TPers made it to the chat. Usually when they're told to include "pound keyword" they just smash their keyboards making inchoate grunting noises.
Finally, a tea-party event that didn't get cancelled for lack of interest.
Wait… Are you sure this is gonna work?
"There's a fire. Do you save the Reagan action figure or the dog? (Dog is a Chihuahua and likely here illegally.)"
The Dog. He didn't raise taxes 7 times.
This whole twat can be shipped to Afghanistan. No one has lost any
Ha ha! Now you can't edit!
So what you wanted to
Don't be silly. This isn't a Candlejack thr
And finally we know how the "T" came to
there you go again. dog whistling to the wonkette base.
I was wondering why I suddenly got up.
See, this is why I follow you….
This is why we can't have anything nice.
Only the tea party can tackle tough political issues in 140 characters.
"Cut taxes, fuck the poor, AMERICA is for americans and not Mooslims, Obama is a Nazi"
How many is that?
I dunno, I think you have room for a few extra commas and maybe a "!!!11!1" at the end.
Needs MOAR #notafactualstatment!!
No one has missed anything;
I might have watched the clowns humping each other.
Twatter debate: The Day the Assclown Cried
#recycledwonkettejokes
I'm sure the most important question of the event will be "Which one other than your self is the most bat-shit crazy person here?"
mtm;dr. Moves too much, didn't read– every 3 seconds it scrolls to some random place. Maybe I'm just too old.
It's like a Tetris of Crazy. You'll never line up all the blocks.
That won't stop them from trying.
Oh, BLOCKS, now I get it.
This reminds me of the scene in the fourth Alien movie where Sigourney Weaver gets right down and rolls around in the pit with all the aliens.
Or the scene in Aliens when Hicks says "Game over, man! Game over!"
I can't make heads or tails out of this nonsense.
The Twitter feed is pretty confusing, too.
I worked in a high-ranking state position when Gary Johnson was governor and he was the best governor I ever worked for in terms of not choosing dysfunctional closet-cases to run his state agencies. What's he doing in this debate?
Being largely ignored for lack of psychoses?
Crazy but not stupid? He's a Libertarian isn't he?
Losing
"Spencenerez profile
Spencenerez .@140townhall I like Bachmann and Cain. Bachmann seems to have the biggest pair. What is wrong with the so called men of the party?"
Biggest pair of what? tits? Yes, yes she does.
What about Newt Gingrich?
Only because Chris Christie decided not to run.
"GenesSmile profile
GenesSmile RT @Palinspired: Question: How many states are in the USA @140townhall"
140?
It's Noman!!!
All of them, Katie.
Other possible questions for the day:
1) Are you a closeted homosexual, or just married to one?
2) Which word best completes this sentence: _______________ the poor!
3) Ronald Reagan raised taxes when faced with a debt problem: Communist or just Socialist?
4) Which word best completes this sentence: There's a _____________ in the White House.
5) Obama? Muslim born devil, or secret Russian agent sent to destroy America?
@140townhall Which one of you will do the Christian thing as president and forcibly convert Jews, Muslims and Athiests? It worked for Spain!
Yay Inquisition!
I read a couple. I think I need a Silkwood Shower. I'd rather jack off a mad lion than read any more.
Oh, hey, looks like it's over now. Did anything happen?
"patticar profile
patticar RT @APBBlue: Migraines = pre-existing condition. RT @TeamBachmann: @140townhall I will not rest until Obamacare is repealed. You can take it to bank. #p2"
Ha!
Can you translate this one, please. I find the twitterspeak hard to read sometimes. Who said what to who?
The other thing I hate McCain for is that he said IF we elected him POTUS he knows how to find Bin Laden. These guys are the same. IF you elect me I CAN do _____________. How about if you start doing it now and then we will consider voting for you again to a higher office?
I guess I don't understand how twitter works. Who the *&%( is talking? how can they debate anything? why does the screen keep moving before I'm done watching? Are they really talking to each other? Is there a moderator? have any electrons died in the making of this debate?
Glad to know I'm not the only one who can't follow this shit; and here I was afraid I coming down with a case of the olds.
This is how I understand it was done:
Each candidate is issued one of those refrigerator poetry sets, with the words you can mix and match, only the words are taken from the last 3 months of FOX News closed-captioning.
Each candidate must ingest these words, along with 2 medium sized bags of very overripe fruits.
Depending on the candidate's metabolism, somewhere between 2 – 8 hours later, they started transcribing the results.
"What America needs and wants, is 4 govt to get out of the way … let us B free to prosper. "
Unless you are talking about abortion or gay rights, of course.
Found a good one: "I support DOD efficiency but defense spending did not cause our budget crisis."
Enough useful idiots like this might finally help us win our war with Eastasia.
Well, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan had nothing to do with defending the USA, so that statement is, technically speaking, true.
It's also technically true because they merely exacerbated the deficit created by the Bush tax cuts.
However, the statement is not true because there is no budget crisis; there's a bunch of political grandstanding over the national debt even though it's not a serious problem.
Which I suppose leaves the adventure in Libya as a true outlay of national defense resources. And we're basically just sending the Libyan rebels RPGs via Twitter, which can't be that expensive. So yes, I concede.
saw one bragging that they averaged over 180 tweets per minute. wowee zowee! my cat has horrible, nonstop diarrhea. he is as successful as the tea party twitter debate!
But, unlike a teabagger, you cat licks his anus when he is finished. Oh, wait…
@140townhall Why don't all you motherfuckers kiss my motherfucking ass? Fuck you very much.
Poor little kitty. Oh, and poor little kitty cleaner-upper.
Whoops, not the comment I was replying to. Sorry.
This has to be one of the worst ideas in human communication since the beginning of history. It's like lower primates farting smoke signals at one another.
I… what is…
…needs moar talking points
You serious? This is like one Conservatard bumper sticker after other!
Two questions:
1. How is this different from using telepromterz?
2. Who the fuck is Gary Johnson???
He's the pothead Randroid former governor of some state.
"It took 30 minutes to get through introductions"
Because they all look alike with their hoods on…
Someone is named "tweetedict." What the fuck? Is that an electronic Twitter glory hole in Wasilla?
@140townhall Can you all please tweet your long form birth certificates?
THEHermanCain Herman Cain
@140townhall My 40-year record as a job creator & a solutions-oriented leader makes me a unique & qualified candidate to be America’s CEO.
1 hour ago Favorite Retweet Reply
"My 40-year record as a job creator & a solutions-oriented leader makes me a unique & qualified candidate to be America’s CEO."
What is this? The opening line on a boilerplate resume template?
Not to mention that a President is not fucking CEO, and someone who is successful as a CEO is uniquely unqualified to be President.
I believe we've recently had a President who confused those jobs, and we all know where THAT got us.
I was going to add something to that effect. I am so tired of that line of thinking. A CEO's responsibility is to the bottom line, period. Anything that adversely affects the bottom line must be cut loose. An elected official is responsible for ALL constituents. Indeed, one could argue that government must be particularly responsive to the standing up for the rights of the vulnerable, the voiceless, the elderly, the children, etc., as no one else is obligated to care about them.The responsibilities of an elected official and a CEO are very different. Also, we have seen the effect of the CEO mentality with the latest batch of governors. I'm the boss, I can act unilaterally, the little people answer to me. The reality for an elected official is the complete opposite, or should be. You work for us, you answer to us, you are a servant of the people. All the people, not just the ones who contributed to your campaign.
I would print that out and post it in 10 foot high letters. The absolute truth and half the country can't seem to grasp it.
Amen. I so fucking hate the CEO line. Well said.
yeah but the quality of your pizza disqualifies you.
His solution for the economy, Iraq, Afghanistan, and the deficit?
Pepperoni.
ThadMcCotter Thaddeus McCotter
.@140townhall Our American Dream is endangered. America's dismantling. Abroad, our troops fight terrorists & tyrants; Iran goes nuclear;
1 hour ago
Somebody needs to hug this Thad guy. He seems very upset about whatever it is America is dismantling.
Okay, Michele Bachman is not allowed to run for president! It's a new law that I just invented (that's how it works, right?). She is using that stupid twit speak just like Palin uses:
TeamBachmann Michele Bachmann
…With ur help we can…
TeamBachmann Michele Bachmann
.@140townhall TY for this forum. I'm running 4 POTUS 2 bring the voice of the people back to DC. That voice requires fundamental changes.
Also what does that second tweet even mean. The voice of the people must be changed? Huh?
did you hear the npr (atc) piece they just ran? some MN academic believes she's well placed to get the nomination.
Today, we are all pubertal 12-year-old boys. Which, of course, is GREAT news for Marcus Bachmann.
That's why foster mama Michele only wanted to foster young girls? Not a boy in the whole 23 strong batch?
Every time I see a text or whatever with "ur" I read it as "Errrr," like a caveman might grunt and NOT "you are." It makes that person sound even dumber.
I'll stop now.
Typical debate twat:
@forgotthefirsthalfofmyquestionbeforeiaskedthesecondhalf GOVT DOENST CREAT JOBS WHY HASTN NOBAMA CREATED JOBS 2mins ago
#dumbfuck
140 characters is still too long for Herman Cain.
But not too long for Marcus Bachmann!
He'll take any number of shady characters, no matter their length!
what exactly are they debating?
no seriously, what is this nonsense?
And where is the actual debate? I'm so lost.
And just when you thought American political discourse couldn't get any more devoid of any meaningful content. There you go!
Does Smith & Wesson make cell phonez these twatting twits could eat?
Rick Santorum writes, "Americans voted for a pres they thought they could believe, I will be a pres you can be in." Wow, the Freudian slips are flying, aren't they?
.
No – you really can't add anything to that statement can you? It's perfect.
Yeah, a pres you can be in. If you can make it to the entrance without slipping and breaking your neck on the puddles of Santorum, that is.
can i haz sanity? ktx.
S. E. Cupp just doesn't have the same impact without a long shot with her legs crossed barely wearing a duck skirt (Hiked up to the quack).
To misquote the Bard:
I would challenge you to a battle of [t]wits, but I see you are unarmed!
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