disgusting things

Gross Rick Santorum Says “Make It Hurt,” For the Kids

but i don't want it to hurt anymoreOversized fetus Rick Santorum is basically poverty-stricken right now (or maybe not, if he has a television) and is now grabbing microphones all over New Hampshire, begging for money. Practically no one is voting for him and he has less than a quarter of a million dollars, which is really quite sad, considering that amount of money appears in a golden bucket whenever Barack Obama shakes someone’s hand. But Rick Santorum will not be defeated, just as long as the people of New Hampshire “make it hurt.” This is what he told them to do, because “Make It Hurt” is Rick Santorum’s personal slogan and also perfectly describes how he came to exist.

Rick Santorum does not want your $5 bills, unless $5 is literally all you have in the world.

“I need your help,” Santorum said at a house party in Henniker. “You can sign up, volunteer, send a check, $5, $10, whatever it is, I would just say one thing: Make it hurt.

“So many people give from excess, whether it’s excess time, excess money,” he said. “We aren’t going to win America back giving from excess. We’re going to need people who are patriots, who actually dedicate their lives.”

If Rick Santorum is to come anywhere close to the presidency (which he won’t) it will only be because these “patriots” have died heroic deaths and donated their organs and bone marrow to Rick Santorum 2012, apparently. So why must we do this? For the children, of course.

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“I’ll be honest with you, it is incredibly stressful,” Santorum said, describing how hard it is to be away from his wife and seven children. “I’m not a wealthy man. It’s hard financially, carrying this off. But I’m doing it, because I recognize that if we lose this election, my children are going to look at me and say, ‘What did you do?’”

He is so tired of trying to defend himself against seven screaming, crying children. But then why does he keep trying to win things? [AP]

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240 comments

    1. WunkRocker

      I call him Ricky Bum Ache because he makes my bum ache. (Bum = UK slang for RECTUM, rhymes with SANTORECTUM)

  1. Barb

    The teabaggers should have a big rally, a goiter loiter, and raise money for this man. Not so much for his election as for him to do something that that little Pugsley looking daughter of his. Get the kid a non creepy looking doll or something, please.

    1. ProudLibunatic

      That creepy daughter used to be my avatar, but when I found out that she was "mentally disabled" (probably a lie), I felt bad (chickened out) and changed to cut-nut. I thought about Glenn, but the thought of seeing his stupid mug all the time was unbearable.
      I guess I just can't resist the crazy!

      1. PristineODummy

        I think he only has one disabled child, and she has a very serious genetic disease so it's not likely that she's the kid on stage. I think this one just suffers from CatholicSchoolPrincess syndrome. Common enough.

    2. dogscantlookup

      Teabaggers don't care, Teabaggers don't give a shit. They just takes what they wants!

    3. zhubajie

      "Get the kid a non creepy looking doll or something, please."

      She needs to be rescued by a nice gay couple!

    4. tessiee

      "Get the kid a non creepy looking doll or something, please."

      Are we absolutely sure that that's an actual doll and not a dead fetus or something?

    5. tessiee

      "do something that that little Pugsley looking daughter of his."

      And let's not overlook the "someday a strong rain will come and wash away all the scum" son.

  2. Doktor Zoom

    The very idea of Rick Santorum makes me hurt, so I guess, in my way, I've done my part. Do I have to file anything with the FEC?

    1. user-of-owls

      "Can you show us on the doll where Santorum hurt you?"

      FEC (Protective Services & Corporate Fraud Division)

        1. user-of-owls

          Please, jah, no!

          The horror of a Tiny Betsy Frothy doll is only surpassed by the…by the…

          I can't even bring myself to say it.

          1. tessiee

            "is only surpassed by the…by the…

            I can't even bring myself to say it. "

            I'm not sure how you were *going* to finish that sentence, but now I'm picturing an anatomically correct Bristle doll who drinks Malibu and then expels another, smaller doll from you know where.

    2. SayItWithWookies

      No, but the Copyright office might have something to say — "Make it hurt" was Tim Gunn's first, failed attempt at a catchphrase. Which might be the only thing Rick Santorum and Tim Gunn ever have in common.

  3. rocktonsam

    we should donate a fiver or two just to keep his dumb ass out of the house and away from that nice wife and kids.

    SOMEBODY HAS TO THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!!

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      I'm thinking about keeping him away from his wife, so there are no more Santorettes at risk of passing on the stupid gene.

    2. SorosBot

      I do wonder what the wife's doing these days, since now that he's no longer in the Senate she may no longer be able to grift taxpayer money from Pennsylvania for the proud home scholing education of their kids while they live in Virginia.

      1. CrankyLttlCamperette

        I KNOW! Wah, wah, wah, I'm so poor…STFU Ricky-the-Weasel*. Whatever happened to that sweet, sweet pile of cash you stole from PA to educate your kids in that gihugic McMansion in Mclean? Or did you screw up your credit (or screw up the world) so badly you can't get a mortgage for that? How 'bout you come live in my little post-UI world and you can learn what "I'm not a wealthy man" and "make it hurt" really mean.

        But I'm pretty sure I have enough pocket change for a heavily-salted bag of rat dicks. Just for you, Ricky. See! I'm giving 'til it hurts, right?

        *May be unfair to weasels.

    3. PristineODummy

      The "nice" wife is the nutcase who just wrote a book on fetii for the little Cat-lick kiddies. Miscarried fetii or dead fetii or miraculously live anencephalic fetii, I forget.

      She's thinking about the children, all right. Problem is, it's only the dead ones that excite her.

  4. AJWjr.

    Sure, why not? All those people disenchanted with Harold Camping need something equally unbelievable to believe in, right?

    1. zhubajie

      Harold Camping is relatively harmless, compared to these people. US pols kill people by the thousands and millions! HC just miscalculated the end of the world. No harm done.

      1. flamingpdog

        I have to admit I had never even considered the possibility of Santorum in poetry.

  5. Pragmatist2

    Rick: So if you lose the election your kids will Look at you and ask "What did you do?" Well I got bad news for you Rick: if you WIN this election your kids will look at you and ask "What the fuck did you do?"

    1. noodlesalad

      Hell, in 10 years, those kids are going to be looking at those outfits they got dressed up in, and asking "what the fuck did you do?"

  6. Ansnarkist

    If only Ronald Reagan hadn't shut down all the Santorums in the 80s, we wouldn't have to worry about this now.

  7. OC_Surf_Serf

    Oh, just on with it and accept your fate: Sell Santorum-brand sex lube to raise money…

  8. Doktor Zoom

    Funny, I've been asking people for santorum contributions, and they've been sending in the grossest stuff…

  9. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    You would think Santorum, of all people, would know that lube will prevent the hurt.

  10. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Really, outside the comedy, the only good thing about most Republican Candidates is that they take money from people who would otherwise spend it on decorating their pickups with anti-Muslim messages.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      The more, the merrier, and the less dough there will be for the GOP nominee. I'm all for having a dozen candidates or more, every damned one of 'em spouting exactly the same focus-group-tested sound bites. Game on, and may the least-electable candidate win!

      1. BarryOPotter

        Think of the muslin-hater-job-creator.

        Who, the rich bigot? Limpballs? Sorry, but no. It's too early in the millennium to ponder such vileness…

  11. Goonemeritus

    Believe me it would really really hurt to give little Ricky five dollars. I would sooner belt sand off my nipples.

      1. LowProfileinGA

        Precisely the kind of illegal activity for which I would not want to spend time in a Federal pen.

        "What are you in for?" "Ah, mailing feces-covered play money to a candidate for president."

  12. BaldarTFlagass

    Seven kids? No money? Sounds like someone could have used a little birth control back in the day. If you can't afford 'em, don't have 'em, as some people might say.

          1. PristineODummy

            Is that where the Pickled Punk ended up? I thought it was just floating in a jar on the mantel. Too declasse for Li'l Ricky, I guess.

  13. Poindexter718

    RE: "“I’ll be honest with you, it is incredibly stressful,” Santorum said, describing how hard it is to be away from his wife and seven children."

    "We're fine, daddy. Mommy's been letting us watch South Park and we got to order that Chinese food that you can't eat because of the irritable bowel thing. Anne-Marie's little friend was late but she said she and Manolo are "taking care of it." Keep fighting daddy. I miss you and Google you every day. Love, Hortense"

    1. SorosBot

      I would love to see the aftermath of the Santorum kids watching the South Park movie. "Where do I find the clitoris, daddy?"

  14. Texan_Bulldog

    I had actually forgotten this dude was running–sounds like everyone else has, too.

    1. flamingpdog

      Shouldn't hurt so much if Rick was telling the truth when he said, "This is as wide open an election as Republicans maybe have ever had for president."

    2. MissusBarry

      I'm sure I have $5 in pennies to add to your contribution. Every little bit helps with the hurting.

      1. tessiee

        "a duel contribution"

        Keep the socks and duel old Frothy.
        Glove slap… it's a glove slap, baby.

  15. Cicada

    Make it hurt so we can give a good, hard fisting to the competition. We need to make sure that Americans find Santorum everywhere they look! In their living rooms, on their televisions, and in their churches! This campaign is going to bring Santorum to everyone, even the elderly!

    1. PristineODummy

      Rick's already stated that his goal was to have Santorum on the lips of every young Republican, where it belongs. Leave the rest of us alone!

  16. OneYieldRegular

    $5 is about all I might be able to contribute (I'm pretty much tapped out from the check I just wrote to Planned Parenthood), but if Santorum is serious about dedicating his life, I'll try to pull it together.

  17. Come here a minute

    "Came to exist" is pretty much the story of everyone's father, but who wants to think about that?

  18. Doktor Zoom

    Tch. You'd think he'd have some gratitude for Dan Savage, who helped bring him all that name recognition.

    1. emmelemm

      Apparently Dan Savage said he'd hatefuck Santorum, which caused Santorum to throw a hissy fit, about "vulgarity". Vulgarity, indeed.

      1. PristineODummy

        Wasn't Danny. It was a co-panelist on Maher's show who said he wished Marcus would fuck Michele with hate and anger. I don't think Dan Savage would fuck Li'l Ricky for all the money OR free lube in the world. Dan's a good-looking guy with high standards.

        1. emmelemm

          Didn't see the show in question, but I refer to this:

          Speaking of Rick Santorum

          Apparently he also said he'd like all Republicans to die in a fire (essentially), which he's taking a lot more shit for.

          ETA: I'd also like all Republicans to die in a fire. TYVM.

          1. PristineODummy

            Ah, right. I watched the show, and it was clear Danny was pointing out the sexism of Marc Maron, and made that flip reference to Santorum in passing. My heart seriously beats for Danny, and I would be devastated to hear that he would be willing to dip his dick in Santorum's santorum.

            OTOH, DIAF? Totally, they all should, before tonight is out. And I totally mean that in a rapturey, Xtianist, good sort of way.

  19. user-of-owls

    I'm woefully ignorant about the Marvel pantheons of super-heroes, but if one of them supports Santorum and is truly, patriotically willing to 'make it hurt,' my guess is that it would be Copper-Pipe-Man!

    Oh, and his trusted sidekick, "Marrow Boy."

      1. user-of-owls

        Look at your scrap prices, amigo. One doesn't rip out the lead water pipes in the projects for there's no profit there. Air conditioners for rural churches, water systems for new developments, wiring (zzzzzzaaaappp!) from live transformers? Oh yes, copper is fair game.

        Lead-Pipe Man might could instead play a role in "You Want Union Thugs? Doin' It Old School."

  20. DemonicRage

    The success of Dan Savage's campaign in exacting revenge against this guy, who had the nerve to compare gay sex to man on dog sex, is one of the encouraging achievements of the last five years. And it's nice to hear him give vent to the frustration he feels at having his name so cosmically besmirched.

    1. zhubajie

      Any chance the two will have a debate, face to face? Something like a cage match or a chain match?

    1. petehammer

      I would rather send $5 to Obama's Asshole than Rick Santorum, even though the difference is minimal.

    2. Left_Leftie

      Thanks for the reminder! I just gave $5 to Obama.
      Suck it Santorium . . oh eww I grossed myself out there . . .

  21. user-of-owls

    I recognize that if we lose this election, my children are going to look at me and say, ‘What did you do?’”

    Well, children, what I did was bankrupt this family in pursuit of a phantasmagorical ego trip to a degree that your great-grandchildren will still be paying off my debts in 2070. That's what your daddy did! Aren't you proud?

    Um, hey now. Those knives are for cooking, ok? Especially those long thick chef's knives. Ok, ok, let me try to explain it agai……….ack, gurgle, gurgle…oooozzze

    1. PristineODummy

      You have a way with words. And images. And onomatopoeia. Very, er, striking. Yes.

  22. Mahousu

    Santorum's only purpose in the race now is to give the other candidates someone to look down on. Gingrich, Pawlenty, Huntsman – doesn't matter how badly they're doing, all they have to do is google "Santorum" and they can say, "Hey, at least I'm not that guy."

    1. SorosBot

      Fuck, even the "Rent is too damn high" guy is probably outpolling Santorum (and yes, he is running for the GOP nomination).

      1. HistoriCat

        Well, he does talk more damn sense than Santorum. Not that you could consider that any sort of achievement.

  23. Radiotherapy®

    I have an old 27" TV in the basement he can have. It would hurt me to carry that thing up the stairs and to the curb.

  24. BklynIlluminati

    Yeah Dad stop spending my fucking inheritance on your stupid election that you couldn't possibly win. DAYUM

  25. Callyson

    Ricky, in 2006 the voters of PA asked "What the fuck did you do?" and voted your sorry ass out.
    No one is asking about 2012…

  26. WhatTheHeck

    “going to win America back”
    “going to need people who are patriots”

    Need I say any more about this guy. He considers 1/2 of this country unpatriotic.
    Charming man.

  27. neiltheblaze

    "Make it hurt!"?

    See – Rick – this is how it works. When people Google your name tomorrow – like all five of them – they'll get the "make it hurt" thing, and that will make them wonder – and three rows down there will be a visual representation of the scatological usage of "Santorum". And then they'll know.

    I have to admit, it's a lot of fun watching this talent-free numbskull trip over his own balls constantly.

  28. arihaya

    he has less than a quarter of a million dollars

    there are enough stupid people in America to give him $250.000 ?

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      Sarah's stil collecting for her Vacation Bus Tour to Nowhere – she could slide a little PAC cash his way and make us all hurt.

  29. mavenmaven

    Five dollars to make it hurt? Apparently Santorum has spent some time in his local S&M club.

  30. BaldarTFlagass

    I'm going to tear a fiver in half and mail just one half to him. Or maybe I'll film myself burning a five dollar bill, and post the vid on his website or somethin'. "Can't have this one, motherfucker! Ha ha! Don't that hurt?!?"

        1. zhubajie

          Exactly what I meant! He'll be in an agony of indecision? Throw it away? Or clean it off and keep it?

    1. PristineODummy

      Jeez, with seven of the little fuckers running around, it's not like he'll even *notice.*

    1. PristineODummy

      Yeah, but usually THEY payz YOU. I wouldn't mind making Ricky hurt if I could make some money off it, but the cheap little bastard wants ME to pay for the privilege.

  31. DashboardBuddha

    It hurts so good
    C'mon baby make it hurt so good
    Sometimes campaigns don't feel like they should
    You make it hurt so good

  32. iburl

    If I don't get all your hard-earned money for my ego-trip presidential campaign, I'll have to go home and face my children and the ones who are not pickled in a jar will ask "Daddy, why are you such a foamy loser?"

  33. Mumbletypeg

    Today I found myself idling behind a SUV with the cartoon family-&-kids (five of them) decal on the back window — wearing Disney ears, these ones were — then in another corner of the window was something new to me: "In memory of…" followed by the given names of two deceased, with each name followed by a date. At least one was a girl's name, like "Emily Grace" so while it's possible these were grown children who died in a war, to be honest I wondered if they were now residing in a couple of jars in the hatch with the jumper cables; this SUV was 'dedicated' to them after all.
    I'm sure Santorum has overlooked a significant vehicle to posture his sanctimony; a Weltenschaung-on-wheels. I see bobblehead fetuses in his family's future.

  34. __kth__

    I guess he's saying, if your santorum contribution doesn't have a little blood in it, you didn't try hard enough. Sounds kinda unsafe, if you ask me.

  35. Trannysurprise

    “We aren’t going to win America back from the niggers giving from excess. We’re going to need people who are patriots, who actually dedicate their lives.”

    *fixed

    1. emmelemm

      As I'm sure you know, a million dollars doesn't go as far as it used to. Especially when you have seven kids or whatever.

    2. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Hell, that's barely into job-creatin' territory. You can't hardly hire a butler or a housemaid if you've only got a million bucks.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        But for the price of a butler, you can hire two illegal Mezkins to do the yard and the pool, and a part-time Honduran gal to scrub the toilets. Treacle down!

  36. Blendergoathead

    He could always just pimp out those kids (physically; he's already done it politically).

    1. PristineODummy

      I hear you can get a tidy sum for their kidneys. Wut? All the Poorz are doing it all over the world. Isn't Rick complaining that he's a Poor too? He needs to get with the program and sell at least a couple of kidneys.

  37. Jukesgrrl

    I've dedicated my life to Rick Santorum since 1990 when he unseated the boring but competent Democrat Doug Walgren as the representative of Pennsylvania's 18th District — on the grounds that Doug didn't actually live in the Pittsburgh suburb he represented. Something Santorum also didn't do.

    I've dedicated my life to hating this smug, self-satisfied, misogynistic, prejudiced, holier-than-thou prick with every fiber of my being. Everything else that happened in the 2006 election paled for me in comparison to Santorum's defeat for re-election to the U.S. Senate by the boring but competent Democrat Bob Casey, Jr. — by the largest margin for any incumbent Senator since 1980. And he managed to lose in spite of that being the election where Santorum invented the lovely phrase "Islamic fascism," which has served so many other Republicans well.

    I'll save my $5 to donate to the mental health facility his children will surely need if they ever happen to encounter education beyond the one Mom and Dad foist on them — which is crazy even by Catholic standards.

    1. SorosBot

      Strangely, Rick Santorum is responsible for my political awakening. I started college in fall of 1994, eligible to vote for the first time and could have either voted by absentee ballot in Philadelphia, or changed my registration and voted in Chicago. But both required too much work, and I just didn't bother voting; then, the next summer, I saw what a complete embarrassment my home state's new Senator was; and that made me vow to never not vote again.

    2. tessiee

      "I'll save my $5 to donate to the mental health facility his children will surely need"

      Nah, wait about six months after that, and then buy their tell all books.

  38. ttommyunger

    "“I’ll be honest with you," Poker players and cops call this a "Tell". A lead-pipe cinch you are listening to a compulsive liar. This asshat is seriously around the bend.

      1. ttommyunger

        About time. I can't remember how many times you beat me posting a nugget; and there I sat, all dressed up and no where to go.

        1. Tundra Grifter

          TTU: I'd like to say something about "Great minds…" but I don't know any.

          Regarding Santorum's ability to tell the truth: Don't forget he is the guy who charged the price of a single hamburger (from a joint close to his temporary home) to his political campaign fund.

          And got a home mortgage from an exclusive private bank – that he wasn't anywhere near wealthy enough to meet their customer qualifications.

          And sent his kids to schools outside the state – and billed the state for it.

      2. tessiee

        "Trust me" isn't exactly a tell, but it usually produces the opposite of its intended effect.

  39. ShaveTheWhales

    It's almost not worth saying "Fuck santorum", because

    1) what would that mean, anatomically, anyway?

    2) he is such a freaking nebbish.

  40. prommie

    I just can't snark on much, anymore. I just get sadder, more desperate, that I live in this society, stuck with it, I guess. Too old to rebel in any serious way, too aware to adopt some symbolic bullshit rebellion thats meaningless in any real way.

    1. Negropolis

      You could always join the Tea Party. Then you could pretend to adopt some symbolic bullshit rebellion since they are bought-and-paid for rubes, after all.

    2. PristineODummy

      Don't give in to it, my friend. Because you know quite well that you're not wrong, in fact, you're anything but. The world is fucking crazy, and it's a miracle we survive at all, especially we who see it clearly and aren't willing to put on the blinders and go along to get along, even if it feels like that's all you're doing all the time, running madly to stay in the same place. But don't give in. Don't let the truly crazy ugly people win. They win when each of us gives up that lifelong struggle, to whatever extent.

    3. BaldarTFlagass

      Now I'm depressed. I think I'll change my board name to Willie Loman, if Prommie hasn't already.

    4. tessiee

      "too aware to adopt some symbolic bullshit rebellion thats meaningless in any real way"

      I could go mad, in the nicest possible way, trying to figure out how something can be meaningless in a real way, but have you considered making a big deal out of how you refuse to watch television?

  41. DashboardBuddha

    "need people who are patriots"

    I am so fucking sick to fucking death of the rodeo clowns using the word "patriot". Their overuse and general buzzkill of the word has mad it meaningless.

    1. fuflans

      yes. so fucking sick of it.

      for some weird reason tonight is the night of the wonkette's taking back the term 'patriot'.

  42. Geminisunmars

    Ricky don't loosen that lumbar
    It's the only one you own
    You might need it to feel better
    To make Santorum foam

  43. Negropolis

    But Rick Santorum will not be defeated

    So, he's going to go Palin and just up and quit? Good.

    BTW, his little rugrats sound like ungrateful little bastards. If I had kids and they asked me that, I'd tell them to step out the house, live out on the street for a night, and then ask me that question. "What did you do?", eh? You see this roof over your heads, and that food on the table, and your (hopefully) smiling mother?

    1. PristineODummy

      You don't have kids, huh? Because most of them go through that phase of questioning and rejecting their parents. Although Ricky's brats probably have far more to question than most.

      1. Negropolis

        I just have always empathized with parents over kids. I'm a 20-something, now, but even now when I look back I see how even "precocious" I was. Kids are annoying, particularly pre-teens.

        BTW, just a disclaimer, but I'm totally joking about the kids. I'm sure Rick just wants to bring some gravity to his light-weight campaign so he ascribes to his children dramatic emotions and thoughts that they probably don't have about his joke of a campaign.

        1. HistoriCat

          I don't think he's bringing gravity to the campaign – he's just that delusional. Instead of "what did you do?" his kids will be asking "what were you thinking?" Although maybe they find life to be a little bit better with him out on the campaign trail.

          1. flamingpdog

            I don't think Santorum believes in gravity – it's just a theory, like evolution.

  44. Negropolis

    I tell you this, today: It is easier for a rich man to go through the eye of a needle than for Rick to ever enter the executive mansion as president.

  45. SorosBot

    Ricky hated gays, hated gays and hated women,
    and just plain sex. He restrained his hands,
    But made it too far
    Became the Senate man, then they were Ricky's band

    Now Ricky really hated, crazy eyes and generic hairdo
    Like some Virginian ,aww he could fool'em by smiling
    He could leave 'em to hang
    'came on so loaded man, such a crazed and hate-filled man.

    So where was the Fox News, when that gay tried to break his balls
    When he made his name a joke,
    So hwe bitched about that Dan and should he crush his sweet hands?

    Oh
    Ooh oh

    Ricky lost his job, claiming it was 'cause of voodoo
    That Savage was just crass, he was the next
    With God given hair
    aww He took it all too far but boy could he hate so far

    Making love with his ego Ricky sucked up into his mind
    Like a Christian messiah
    When the gays had killed the seat he had to run for President.

    Oh yeah
    Ooooooo
    Ricky haaaateed gaays, uh yeah yeah.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      As a person whose real name lends itself to the nickname of Zig or Ziggy, I always upfist any Ziggy reference. Unless it's that stupid cartoon with the little round guy with the huge schnozz.

  46. PristineODummy

    All I can say is, "Ya shoulda pulled out, Rick, like yer faaaaather should have." So it's MY fault now that he's got seven screaming rugrats to defend himself from? And I didn't even get to fuck him for the privilege. (Although, santorum, eccchh.)

  47. zhubajie

    I wouldn't mind a 1/4 million US$ right now! That'd be 1, 500, 000 rmb! Plenty to retire on. Lots of Chinese people live productive lives on 1, 000 (+ the food they produce). Hell, my retired 87-year-old father in Iowa could use US $250, 000, too. He too produces his own potatoes and onions, where I don't think Santorum has produced anything beyond some abused-looking children. Stop whining, RS!

  48. zhubajie

    How stressful, is it, Rick? Tried out the Neut Gingrich solution yet, having the staff blow you?

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Ditching the wife and 7 kids would certainly reduce the stress. Newt is definitely on to something.

  49. zhubajie

    He's not even entertaining! Brother Stair (world's craziest evangelist) is begging real hard these days, and threatening to shut off his 2 am radio broadcasts in selected cities if no one replies/pays. But he's entertaining! Like a pro-wrestling match between 2-headed midgets! Santorum is not entertaining. Maybe he should get together with Kortney and shove vegetables into unlikely orifices and produce santorum! But as it is, it's time to retire from show biz, RS.

  50. zhubajie

    "He is so tired of trying to defend himself against seven screaming, crying children."

    More likely, they're tired of defending themselves against him! Doesn't that one girl look like her butt hurts?

  51. Negropolis

    For all his own problems – both those brought on him and those he's brought on himself – Obama has to be the luckiest politician in Washington in years to draw the type of competition he's drawn with an economy as shitty as this and a public as strange and self-destructive and as fickle as I've ever seen. That said, if he's hoping to get by on luck alone, he's setting himself up to lose.

    Honestly, once we get past this fake debt ceiling fiasco – just like we got past the fake issue of the expiration of the Bush tax cuts – what's their next issue going to be to bring government to the next screeching halt? Every time this president begins to build up steam to push forward, he's stopped.

  52. x111e7thst

    I'm sure Rick has fantasies in which he whispers "Oh daddy , make it hurt" to the large black man as he bends over, but do I need to know about them?

    1. Tundra Grifter

      Brian Ross (if one can judge such things watching tv) is about 5 feet 6 and weighs about 140 pounds.

      Of course, if this had been Bull O'Really's? attack poodle, the reactionaries would be lawyering up while ranting about the First Amendment.

      Kenneth Gladney, your move…

      [By the way, that's Comment 1K.]

  53. Tundra Grifter

    “'I’ll be honest with you, it is incredibly stressful,' Santorum said, describing how hard it is to be away from his wife and seven children."

    Not, however, anywhere near as stressful as staying home with his wife and seven children.

  54. kissawookiee

    my children are going to look at me and say, ‘What did you do?’

    Sorta like they did the day you came home and announced they were going to have an enforced Fetus Slumber Party?

  55. Tundra Grifter

    Ricky: As we continue to struggle to dig our way out from under eight years of Bush Jr.'s time in the White House, and decades of reactionary Republican rule, I can assure you it already hurts.

    A lot.

  56. Barrelhse

    His wife has the determined look of someone who is about to buckle-up the kids and drive off a boat ramp.

  57. smitallica

    Of course you're out of money, Rick. That's what happens to people who fail. Personal responsibility is a bitch, ain't it?

  58. PhilippePetain

    "If there's one thing I know, it's this: America was built on fighting to the death for a lost cause. If you great patriots will join me in this lost cause and give your all, I know that we can go down fighting for the not quite attainable change that we believe in! NOW WHO'S WITH ME!"

  59. Dürers Rhino

    Win America back from who, Rick? The wealthiest 2% of Americans, the so-called 'wealth creators', that are hoarding all the money? From the Energy, Pharma, and Banking industries? From the faux-morality politicking of the religious right? I wish.

  60. tessiee

    I'd be pleased to make a donation to the Committee to Guarantee that the Words "Santorum" and "Make it Hurt" Never Appear in the Same Sentence Ever Again.

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