FLOTUS FILES  1:00 pm July 18, 2011

FLOTUS Hamburger Scandal Overshadows Crucial Story On Bees

by Blair Burke

That's MRS. Flotus to you...Michelle Obama is taking a nap right now because, haven’t you heard, she ate herself into a coma last week. Somewhere, a couple of news desk interns are very proud of themselves, because their cranky, jaded editor shouted, “HOW MANY CALORIES ARE IN A HAMBURGER?” and they got out their little calculators as fast as they could, to add “Ruined Michelle Obama’s day” to their useless resumés. Of course, our FLOTUS can easily bounce back from any non-scandal, maybe because she has Harry Potter on her side or because she is a magazine model, but mostly because no one actually cares about what Michelle Obama eats for lunch, especially Michelle Obama, who is busy implementing the next phase of her anti-obesity campaign, which involves bees.

So our FLOTUS ate at Shake Shack last week and opinions were formed. “What are your thoughts on Michelle Obama’s meal at Shake Shack?” is now the divisive issue of our time, and will probably be the first question in the next round of GOP debates (“Not enough pizza, too many Muslims” will be Herman Cain’s answer, etc.). Or at least, it is a divisive issue for columnists, not so much for sane human beings, according to this Washington Post poll:

the anusburger experts have spoken

In summary, this lunch thing is very silly especially when there are more serious subjects at hand, like why has no one noticed that Michelle Obama’s White House garden is guarded by an army of killer bees, probably African?

Another reveal: daughter Malia is scared of bees and did not want a beehive set up next to Mrs. Obama’s garden on the South Lawn. The bee hive is there to make it an easy commute for the pollinators.

Malia “was not happy about the fact that we were going to have a beehive–she’s terrified of bees,” Mrs. Obama said.

The bees are an important part of our FLOTUS’ campaign to end childhood obesity. When children do not eat their vegetables, they are to be dragged kicking and screaming into the garden, covered in honey and pollen. [WaPo/Chicago Sun-Times]

Blair Burke (blairelinor@gmail.com) blogs and obsessively follows Michelle Obama’s every move for “The FLOTUS Files,” which appears every Monday here at your Wonkette.

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 164 comments }

WinterOuthouse July 18, 2011 at 1:04 pm

If she ate a Muslim she would be touted as a hero

Biel_ze_Bubba July 18, 2011 at 1:18 pm

And if she got a falafel at al Halal food truck, not so much.

nounverb911 July 18, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Bill O'Reilly loofahs that remark.

BornInATrailer July 18, 2011 at 1:37 pm

I'd like to think, figuratively speaking, she already has. Well, a secrit Muslin anyways.

ttommyunger July 18, 2011 at 1:55 pm

Dunno….If she ate this old Missouri Boy, she would be my hero.

OneDollarJuana July 18, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Clearly, Malia's fear of bees has sent the FLOTUS on an insect-eradication rampage. I believe Michelle Obama is behind beehive collapse syndrome.

PristineODummy July 18, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Sarah's hair *has* looked a lot flatter since her first exposure to the FLOTUS.

SexySmurf July 18, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Did FLOTUS also get dogs with bees in their mouths, and when they bark they shoot bees at you?

BaldarTFlagass July 18, 2011 at 1:08 pm

No, that's the lady in Oak Park, MI.

BarackMyWorld July 18, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Those votes only add up to 99%. Now, you could say that's because of rounding, but I'm blaming it on librul bias.

ManchuCandidate July 18, 2011 at 1:09 pm

That 1% was hacked by News Corp.

BaldarTFlagass July 18, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Well, when Fox reported the results of this WaPo poll, the results were a much more realistic 38% "Who gives a flying fuck?", 49% "No, relax", and 92% "Yes it was a horrible thing for her to eat that hamburger."

elviouslyqueer July 18, 2011 at 1:29 pm

And don't forget the chyron "Killer Bees (D)."

horsedreamer_1 July 19, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Of course the Wu-Tang Clan leans Democratic.

PristineODummy July 18, 2011 at 4:25 pm

We may be entitled to our math, but Pox Ooze has THE math.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 18, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Faux News is processing the other 182% of the votes, and will release the results tonight.

Lascauxcaveman July 18, 2011 at 1:27 pm

It's not even a real poll. It's just one of those things where you call the number and push 2 for the second option, etc.

The crappy little local daily paper in my town does this everyday. I think they call the feature "What Bored Old White People With Too Much Time On Their Hands Think*"

*A non-scientific survey

V572 der Plaatz July 18, 2011 at 1:47 pm

A pet peeve. An "unscientific poll" is like a "vodka martini." Not really a martini, not really a poll.

riverside68 July 18, 2011 at 1:56 pm

I am so drinking to that

ChessieNefercat July 18, 2011 at 1:06 pm

I love our wonderful FLOTUS and anyone who says or writes incredibly stupid things about her (I'm looking at you WaPo) is just a stupid head.

Limeylizzie July 18, 2011 at 2:06 pm

I love her unconditionally, as well ChessieNefercat, she has many things which I covet , in no particular order, her arms, her clothes allowance, her height, her children and her husband.

MarionNYNY July 18, 2011 at 3:17 pm

oh just +1 to Chessie and Limey. I want to die and come back as her secretary.

PristineODummy July 18, 2011 at 4:27 pm

My idea of "died and went to heaven" would be a three-way with BOTH of them. Yum.

WinterOuthouse July 18, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Excellent parenting skills and desensitization therapy in one. Way to go Michele.

SarcasticNymph July 21, 2011 at 3:02 am

Malia and Sasha won't be getting pregnant before they've finished graduate school, started their careers, and married the princes of the realm. Nor will they be caught using drugs or selling meth. Or preaching abstinence.

poncho_pilot July 18, 2011 at 1:07 pm

but what if the burger was made of bees? hmmm?

zhubajie July 19, 2011 at 8:04 am

Deep fried baby bees are pretty good — crunchy like cheetos, but nowhere near as fattening! High in protein, too.

metamarcisf July 18, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Most of us are missing the point. The issue is not whether the first lady broke the law by eating a cheeseburger for lunch – that fact is not in question. The issue is whether she lied about it under oath to congress.

SayItWithWookies July 18, 2011 at 1:12 pm

It's always the coverup that gets them. In this case, some dijon and a sesame-seed bun.

MLHencken July 18, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Of course, because using dijon mustard on anything makes you a socialist. Or an elitist.

I forget.

HistoriCat July 18, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Socialistic elitist?

JohnyEdge July 18, 2011 at 4:09 pm

An elite socialite in this case.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 18, 2011 at 1:20 pm

According to Boehner, cheese is not an option, not on the table, and not negotiable.

genxr July 18, 2011 at 5:33 pm

When he says that, you know he's worried about Eric Cantor.

Barb July 18, 2011 at 1:08 pm

African Killer bees? Kenya just scream? The country is in such dire straits that we had to get cheaper drone weapons and we have to resort to bees. Is Gadaffi dead yet? Nope, but he has a terrible rash from being stung twice.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 18, 2011 at 1:15 pm

Bees … with lasers on their heads!

tribbzthesquidz July 18, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Right here's your beez.

Chet Kincaid July 18, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Are you having some kinda speed-snark contest? Slap that chess clock!

finallyhappy July 18, 2011 at 4:11 pm

Remember the SNL killer bees- Belushi rocked.

baconzgood July 18, 2011 at 1:08 pm

I think the FLOTUS is the bees knees.

Sorry that's all I had…

Frankly is lamer to write a story about her eating a cheese burgher, fill out the survey, OR write about a story about her eating lunch and a survey about it? OR to snark on it?!?

Lascauxcaveman July 18, 2011 at 1:46 pm

As a magazine model, she looks pretty good in a beehive hairdo, too.

Aw, what the hell, she just looks good, period.

baconzgood July 18, 2011 at 2:57 pm

I know. It's been a while since this country had a First Lady that men want to bone.

PristineODummy July 18, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Yeah, well, it was all I had, too, but did that stop you from wresting it out of my sad and lonely paws? NO!!!

When did we last have a FLOTUS who combined such earthy wisdom with intelligence, charm, knockout looks, and class? I'm seriously in love with this woman (which doesn't stop me from wanting to hump her leg or her husband's, but hey, I never said *I* had class.)

ManchuCandidate July 18, 2011 at 1:08 pm

That was a Chickenshit article from a chickenshit paper.

Actually, chickenshit is useful as fertilizer and an ingredient in explosives. I don't know what the WaPo is good for these days.

ChessieNefercat July 18, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Birdcage bottoms? Fish wrappers?

Papa_Uniform July 18, 2011 at 1:42 pm

Employing the intellectually challenged?

Jukesgrrl July 18, 2011 at 10:47 pm

I don't even think Dana Milbank, Richard Cohen, and Charles Krauthammer qualify for that polite term.

GOPCrusher July 18, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Worm bedding?

finallyhappy July 18, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Seriously, chickenshit is too" hot" as a fertilizer and has to be mixed with other things. Probably it ends up a lot in Chicken nuggets.

PristineODummy July 18, 2011 at 4:33 pm

'Tain't much.

ifthethunderdontgetya July 18, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Hamburger Libel!
~

Callyson July 18, 2011 at 1:10 pm

If Malia doesn't want the beehive in the White House lawn, there's a town in Michigan…
Dogs vs. Bees: it's on!

Serolf_Divad July 18, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Yes, Michelle Obama is a hypocrite, because as everybody knows: living a healthy lifestlye means never, ever, ever, ever eating anything other than baked tofu squares and plain-yogurt-and-barley shakes for the rest of your miserable existence.

MLHencken July 18, 2011 at 1:18 pm

More veal for me.

ChessieNefercat July 18, 2011 at 1:32 pm

I bought some rye crackers this week that are full of nutrition, and I feel like I'm punishing myself when I eat them. ("Well, I guess you're grounded, little missy," I say to myself. Chomp.) The dog won't eat them but on the bright side if I forget to wrap them in this heat wave they'll get stale and I can legitimately throw them out.

Tommmcatt July 18, 2011 at 1:44 pm

You can use them to scrub dead skin off your heels as well.

PristineODummy July 18, 2011 at 4:35 pm

I usually spread cream cheese thinly on them, top with paper-thin slices of lox, a little salmon roe, slivered green onions or chives. I mean, really, they're just an excuse to slather on the good stuff, yaknow. Sump'n's gotta hold the cream cheese.

Doktor Zoom July 18, 2011 at 2:13 pm
PristineODummy July 18, 2011 at 4:36 pm

I LIKE rice cakes! But you have to slather them in hummus tahini and top with finely slivered chillies, green onions, or sliced raw garlic, roasted red peppers, a little tomato paste — good stuff!

zhubajie July 19, 2011 at 8:06 am

Americans need to learn a lot more about tofu!

Come here a minute July 18, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Michelle Obama drinks the humorless interns' milkshake.

An_Outhouse July 18, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Cheeseburger? Faux News said she ate a live raccoon.

Doktor Zoom July 18, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Yeah, saw that on the Daily Show…gee… pure coincidence they chose that mammal, huh?

(COON! GET IT? COOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!)

ChessieNefercat July 18, 2011 at 1:33 pm

And it was LIVE!

What in the hell did that even mean?

Doktor Zoom July 18, 2011 at 1:39 pm

Elayne Boosler:

So, ya got nude girls here, huh?…Are they… live?

Lascauxcaveman July 18, 2011 at 1:47 pm

If that were on Pay-Per-View, I'd watch it.

zhubajie July 19, 2011 at 8:07 am

Well, I hear possum is good; racoon? Anyone try it?

PristineODummy July 19, 2011 at 1:46 pm

American Chinese friend went to Guangdong to visit relatives and said he ate it there. Or maybe he meant "raccoon dog," I forget. He recommended it highly. Given their diet, though, ugh.

zhubajie July 20, 2011 at 5:55 am

>

nounverb911 July 18, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Shake Shack is for elitists, she should have gone to Hardees or the DQ.

GOPCrusher July 18, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Oreo Blizzards! FTW!

finallyhappy July 18, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Really elitist because Shake Shack uses actually dairy products. I don't think there are any DQs in that part of DC- Hardees- I don't even know where any Hardees are around here

donner_froh July 18, 2011 at 1:11 pm

People in DC are really buzzing about this story.

poncho_pilot July 18, 2011 at 1:18 pm

that pun really stings.

Goonemeritus July 18, 2011 at 1:42 pm

"He who would make a pun would pick a pocket"

Doktor Zoom July 18, 2011 at 2:15 pm

If you want to take my pun away, you'll have to pry it from my cold dead hand.

not that Dewey July 18, 2011 at 1:12 pm

I believe the "bee question" was already settled during the twitter town hall

Also, too, I object to Politico's characterization of Michelle Obama as a "muggle". They really haven't been paying attention, have they?

nounverb911 July 18, 2011 at 1:21 pm

To bee or not to bee?

ifthethunderdontgetya July 18, 2011 at 1:12 pm

I clicked on a USA Today article yesterday (I know, I KNOW!), and the wingnutzi were all inflamed by the 'hamburger hypocrisy'.

These people make sheep look like bold and creative thinkers.
~

poncho_pilot July 18, 2011 at 1:17 pm

and sheep produce wool which makes them more useful than USA Today.

ManchuCandidate July 18, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Anything to get the ragehol flowing.

ChessieNefercat July 18, 2011 at 1:47 pm

"These people make sheep look like bold and creative thinkers."

And sheep are supposed to have sex with sheep.

GOPCrusher July 18, 2011 at 2:35 pm

"Michelle ate a hamburger" will become the "Clinton got a blowjob" of the 21st century.

SayItWithWookies July 18, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Well you'll notice that you never see any fat beekeepers. Probably because most beekeepers are starving to death, but that's a separate matter.

nounverb911 July 18, 2011 at 1:16 pm

But can Michelle O pronounce "Chutzpah" correctly?

hagajim July 18, 2011 at 1:17 pm

I hear bee stings are the newest way to help you shed cellulite from eating too many hamburgers at the Shake Shack.

BaldarTFlagass July 18, 2011 at 1:18 pm

I think an intervention, featuring a friendly Killer Bee from Saturday Night Live, is what Malia requires.

Doktor Zoom July 18, 2011 at 1:27 pm

http://www.hulu.com/watch/1476/saturday-night-liv

(Geev us your pollen, senor!!)

KeepFnThatChicken July 18, 2011 at 1:18 pm

I'm glad this story was written. Things have been so bad in the recent headlines, I almost forgot there was an intact African American family in the White House, replete with normal childhood dreams and fears.

Beat that, you goddamn Russkies.

MissTaken July 18, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Malia “was not happy about the fact that we were going to have a beehive–she’s terrified of bees,” Mrs. Obama said.

My mom did the exact same thing to me growing up – I'm completely terrified of clowns and my Mom thought it would be cool to decorate the spare bedroom with them. Even now if I have to stay at my parent's I'm stuck in the clown room and I have nightmares every fucking time. Thanks Mom!

SexySmurf July 18, 2011 at 1:24 pm

"Can't sleep…clown will eat me!"

weejee July 18, 2011 at 1:25 pm

Too many Pogo the Clown pictures?

BaldarTFlagass July 18, 2011 at 1:27 pm

"BEEP BEEP Richie! They ALL float down here. When you're down here with us, you'll float too!"

MissTaken July 18, 2011 at 1:28 pm

DAMN YOU!!

ChessieNefercat July 18, 2011 at 1:36 pm

Marionettes are just as skin-crawly as clowns. I don't care if they have been around for centuries and are an art form, they just ooze 1920's Berlin at its creepiest to me.

Jukesgrrl July 18, 2011 at 10:53 pm

Something tells me you didn't like them long before you knew what was going on in 1920's Berlin.

weejee July 18, 2011 at 1:20 pm

The Chinese have already co-opted us on the beez.

MLHencken July 18, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Such bullshit. Now, if they caught her smoking some Newports and drinking O.E. 800, THAT would be something. Something very racist!

But our FLOTUS is far too virtuous for that.

Goonemeritus July 18, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Can any life form be more socialist than Bee’s with their communal living, no private property and such? Now we see the true evil face of their dastardly plan writ small.

Doktor Zoom July 18, 2011 at 1:42 pm

not to mention their insistence on using interpretive dance as a form of communication! Fucking elitists!

ChessieNefercat July 18, 2011 at 2:22 pm

"… dastardly plan writ small."

Well, it had to be writ small, look how tiny their wee legs (arms?) are. Imagine the pens.

PristineODummy July 18, 2011 at 4:40 pm

For a minute there, I thought you said "Imagine the penis," and was faithfully complying.

Dammit.

ChessieNefercat July 18, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Oh go right ahead and imagine a penis if you like, but probably not a bee's, right?

Doktor Zoom July 18, 2011 at 7:29 pm

A beenis?

PristineODummy July 19, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Thank you. Do bees have penii?

An_Outhouse July 18, 2011 at 3:56 pm

and a big ol' lesbian in charge.

horsedreamer_1 July 19, 2011 at 1:23 pm

At least Pia Sundhage is an hell of a singer.

Cicada July 18, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Not to mention their all-female workforce and sad, emasculated males. And by emasculated, I mean their entire penis and guts are ripped out during sex. It's Andrea Dworkin's wet dream!

Steverino247 July 18, 2011 at 1:23 pm

A Shake Shack lunch is a terrible thing to waste.

Give to the Satiated Negro Lunch Fund. Thank you.

pinkocommi July 18, 2011 at 1:24 pm

The real controversy is how fat the bees would get if they ate Malia.

ChessieNefercat July 18, 2011 at 1:25 pm

And what is with these stupid polls lately? I don't mean thorough, serious polls designed to present an accurate perspective regarding the views and policies of, say, presidential candidates.

I mean the idiotic ones that ask people to vote on something that their vote can't affect. After a burger has been eaten, or a defendant acquitted, here come the votes. If the WaPo vote showed that Michelle had no business eating the burger, what was she supposed to do, stick her finger down her throat and hork it up on the nightly news?

Vote! Should Casey Anthony go free? Well, like it or not, that vote doesn't matter. The 12 people who count did not convict her.

MissTaken July 18, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Or the polls that are so skewed that only a complete moran would answer the 'wrong' way. I'm looking at you Ed Schultz with your daily text poll that are utter nonsense:

ex. Should the President risk his job for the debt ceiling deal?

66% said yes.
http://ed.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/07/13/7078656-

GOPCrusher July 18, 2011 at 3:19 pm

Has he stopped crying about the fact that Blanche Lincoln won her primary challenge?

zhubajie July 19, 2011 at 8:10 am

Pollsters = Haruspices.

SmutBoffin July 18, 2011 at 1:36 pm

I look forward to reading more about this on the tailgate of a pickup truck.

ChessieNefercat July 18, 2011 at 1:53 pm

"…tailgate of a pickup truck."

i.e., Texas high school civics textbook.

BaldarTFlagass July 18, 2011 at 1:36 pm

OK, this conversation grows tiresome. Let's have the post about how poorly Sarah Palin's 2-hour infomercial fared at the box office this past weekend. http://thinkprogress.org/media/2011/07/18/271534/

SmutBoffin July 18, 2011 at 1:49 pm

If, as I presume, the movie is made completely from archival footage and Breitbart interviews (which only cost ya a cheap bottle of scotch), then it was probably profitable. In the strictest sense.

El Pinche July 18, 2011 at 1:59 pm

The Unattended

HistoriCat July 18, 2011 at 2:22 pm

I think Ken's post pretty much covered it.

GOPCrusher July 18, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Shouldn't the Fox Nation website title be "Palin Film Opens Strong, Theatres Hacked"?

SorosBot July 18, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Well according to BigHollywood, the bad reviews and reports on empty theaters are all a liberal movie critic conspiracy designed to attack Her Majesty:
http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/jjmnolte/2011/0

GOPCrusher July 18, 2011 at 3:27 pm

I'm sure that James O'Keefe or Faux Noise are working on the video documentation of the millions that stampeded movie theaters to see the film epic.

SorosBot July 18, 2011 at 3:36 pm

"See, Sarah Palin's fans like to wear those robes and hold those wands to symbolize, uh, how she took on the old boys club."

Mahousu July 18, 2011 at 1:47 pm

There is no need to cover the children in honey. Just let them use their cell phones – which the kids these days are constantly attached to anyway – and the bees will attack.

What's more, scientists are now breeding super-strong Canadian bees, which should keep Malia terrified for years to come. Nice one, Michelle.

NorthStarSpanx July 18, 2011 at 1:48 pm

Michelle, why couldn't you just give Sarah that "Sputnut" moment she thinks the real American public so desperately craves?

El Pinche July 18, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Michelle has never tried Sarah's SlimJim loaf served with a round of Seagram's Methbilly Blue wine coolers.

ChessieNefercat July 18, 2011 at 2:32 pm

A steady diet such as you have described would explain just about everything in that clan of addled, nasty-ass, grifting Kallikak family offshoots.

SayItWithWookies July 18, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Hey, if no Fair and Balanced network brought the issue up, then clearly it wasn't newsworthy. That's how papers break news, right — by following the lead of other organizations? I mean, where would Woodward and Bernstein have gotten their explosive revelations about Watergate if not by reading about it on FoxNation?

ttommyunger July 18, 2011 at 1:59 pm

When little Ricky Santorum hears about all this cross-pollinization going on behind the White House he's gonna say Michelle's got some "splainin to do".

ChessieNefercat July 18, 2011 at 3:13 pm

Not to you, Ricky boy. Go ahead, pick on Michelle. You want the President to get angry at you, is that it? Hmm? Sorry, I don't think either one of them is going to help you out with whatever is squirming around in your creepy head.

ttommyunger July 18, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Don't know what it is, don't want to know, but I'm sure it ain't pretty or “G” Rated.

PristineODummy July 18, 2011 at 4:50 pm

I didn't know he cared about nonhuman cross-pollination.

ttommyunger July 18, 2011 at 7:53 pm

I think he is alert to the problem of any creature having fun with its naughty bits.

El Pinche July 18, 2011 at 2:10 pm

Burgergate will be FoxNews' last meal.

DerrickWildcat July 18, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Bees are scary because they bite and kick.

elviouslyqueer July 18, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Washington Post polling director Richard Morin Moran.

99% Fixed.*

*YMMV.

mavenmaven July 18, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Actually, Malia was scared not of bees but of inveterate downfister/hater Spanky2b, who keeps posting scary comments about her.

DashboardBuddha July 18, 2011 at 2:27 pm

OT, but interesting:
http://beta.news.yahoo.com/blogs/cutline/latest-t

This is good news for Rupert Murdoch!

nounverb911 July 18, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Better check Murdoch's alibi.

DashboardBuddha July 18, 2011 at 2:53 pm

No worries…how many zeros should he put on the check?

SayItWithWookies July 18, 2011 at 3:06 pm

I hope he wasn't found dead in the same forest that David Kelly allegedly killed himself — that would look odd.

GOPCrusher July 18, 2011 at 3:31 pm

They could have at least waited for a couple of weeks, so things didn't look so suspicious.
Now they have a murder investigation to deal with too.

soojank July 18, 2011 at 4:16 pm

The police* are saying that the death isn't suspicious, but I'm going to consider this really fucking suspicious until 100% proven otherwise.

* wait, weren't the police in on the whole phone hacking thing, also?

Doktor Zoom July 18, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Did someone say BEES?

Limeylizzie July 18, 2011 at 2:46 pm

It's my birthday today, me, Nelson Mandela, Clifford Odets and Red Skelton, and i think I am taking myself to Shake Shack on the UWS for a light snack, as i had to come to NYC for an audition and MrLimeylizzie is still in Chicago ,so I am without a date for the said snack.

nounverb911 July 18, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Happy birthday!

I think Shake Shack has an iphone ap with the various wait times on it.

ChessieNefercat July 18, 2011 at 3:13 pm

Happy birthday!

DashboardBuddha July 18, 2011 at 3:15 pm
fuflans July 18, 2011 at 4:02 pm

happy birthday and if you were still in chicago i would buy you a birthday drink.

Limeylizzie July 18, 2011 at 4:17 pm

I thought you were in NYC,no? I will be back in Chicago on Saturday, enjoy that insane weather.

fuflans July 18, 2011 at 4:37 pm

no i'm mostly chicago and LA.

yeah it's hotter than the proverbial witch's tit and i'm in a show partially performed under a plastic tarp.

Limeylizzie July 18, 2011 at 4:52 pm

What show?

Cicada July 18, 2011 at 2:48 pm
DangerHelvetica July 18, 2011 at 3:46 pm

First person to make a Wicker Man reference gets a punch in the mouth from Nick Cage wearing a bear suit.

Cicada July 18, 2011 at 3:54 pm

I hear the FLOTUS' burger was burned. You'd think Shake Shack would be more careful…. HOW'D IT GET BURNED?!?! HOW'D IT GET BURNED?!?!?

DerrickWildcat July 18, 2011 at 2:55 pm

The bite and sting and
suck suck suck!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwvC3g1Ivb0

SorosBot July 18, 2011 at 3:18 pm
vulpes82 July 18, 2011 at 3:36 pm

She truly is one of history's greatest monsters.

DahBoner July 18, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Sorry, but I just ate a Green Chile Cheeseburger with pineapple coleslaw @ Spark's in Hatch and man, was that puppy dripping with juices.

How many calories?

Who knows, but the green chile decreases transport time through the gut…

fuflans July 18, 2011 at 4:04 pm

my great grandmother used to put honey on my grandfather's hands and give him a feather to play with. this was so her cocktail hour would remain uninterrupted.

she was fondly known in family circles as a bitch.

PristineODummy July 18, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Ah, yes. Yet another reason to despise those slimy little bastards. Katie Graham's doing a corkscrew in her grave.

DemonicRage July 18, 2011 at 5:54 pm

Shake Shack (Danny Meyer restaurant in little park on 23rd St. in Manhattan) has replicated itself in D.C.? These hamburgers don't count as forbidden treats. They are not drippy, like the ones at 5 Napkins Hamburgers, or most that come off of the griddle in nondescript luncheonettes.

fuflans July 18, 2011 at 6:59 pm

camus – misnderstanding (absurdist theatre under plastic in a loft. It doesn't get more chicago crazy than that… Still, better than my last corporate job which was really absurdist hell).

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: