What happened to that handsome young gentleman who was elected president back in 2008? He would hang out on the beach, shirtless, providing lots of wallpaper material for Marcus Bachmann’s likely collection of secret dungeons. Oh, this Obama is gone now, and has been replaced by a grumpy old curmudgeon who is literally counting the days until he can start getting discounts at the Applebee’s, even though his numeracy skills are not what they used to be. “I’m going to be turning 50 in a week,” old man Barack Obama said today, three weeks before his birthday. Err, silly misunderstanding – the Kenyan calendar is different than the American one.
So Barack Obama can’t remember his own birthday. Whatever, he is stressed out and Michelle took away all his junk food and cigarettes, again. He is also just really excited about being old!
“You know, I’m going to be turning 50 in a week, so I’m starting to think a little bit more about Medicare eligibility,” Obama said while discussing a possible deal to reduce the debt.
Actually, the big day is Aug. 4 — three weeks from yesterday.
(That’s four days after the Treasury Department says it will lose borrowing authority unless Obama and congressional Republicans strike a deal to raise the $14.3 trillion debt ceiling.)
“Yeah, I’m going to get my AARP card soon,” Obama said. “And the discounts.”
What kind of discounts is President Obama looking for? Does he have a lot of car rental needs? And why can’t he even remember his daughter’s birthday?
Late last month, Obama described daughter Malia as being 13 years old, a week before her actual birthday.
Hey, it’s easy to lose track of the days when you’ve got a lot on your mind.
Nonsense. SHOW US THE MALIA BIRTH CERTIFICATE. [USA Today]
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Snark aside, it's amazing what he's accomplished in his life (author, professor, senator, all that Harvard shit) and he's only 6 years older than I am. Compare: I, a shifty layabout trying my best not to kill my 2 kids this summer, and he is leader of the free world. Sniff…I will proceed to go drown my sorrows now.
Ya hadda make me feel really and truly shitty about my life of no accomplishment, din'tcha? Thanks a lot, bud. Pour me a couple. I'm gonna try and drown the little fuckers too.
Or me, ex–drug-addled circuit boy whose one claim to fame is having been in the dance corps of the Broadway revival of "The King And I" without actually having been cast in the musical*.
The shame is overwhelming when I am not stoned.
*It's a slow one…think about it….
Or me: I'm in my mid-30s and haven't had a proper blowjob since 1995. How's that for underachieving?
Is 1995 the year you got married?
That's the short version, yes.
You poor bastard.
This is why you need to throw your life away.
Maybe that's the source of the Tea Partiers' anger to Obama–it's that he's younger than they are and more accomplished (e.g., went to Harvard and doesn't need a scooter to move)?
Nevermind. It's cause he's black.
Okay, but at least you don't have to live with Mr. Hyper-acheiver. Mrs. Bear isn't even 40 and she's already run a statewide services division with a billion dollar budget for 4 years, created (in a different state) the first umbrella organization for autism causes, been plucked out of state government for a major thinktank/consultancy in her field, and just last week been asked to serve on a (third state, now) policy board for disability services changes and implementation. Oh, and told off the DOJ's Civil Rights section chief to his face in front of a roomful of her peers as a hypocrite for not being willing to take on powerful union interests.
And she keeps telling me she feels inadequate. Of course it is the only reason she keeps me around so I can't laugh too hard when she says it.
I'm guessing you haven't had a proper blowjob since 1995 either.
Sounds like she should be getting the blow jobs.
Zing!
Shit – now I feel inadequate.
Mr. Bear, despite sounding impressive with all that accomplishy-competency thingy, according to Teabaggers like Ann Coulter, she's a drain on society – government workers are a bane.
Getting her to marry you was probably accomplishment enough for one lifetime.
Well said, that.
:::Polite golf clap:::
Very well said.
Thank you.
:::Gracious tip of my head:::
Very impressive wife, blah blah blah,
Cut to the chase, how are her legs?
(It's all I got, I'm a 60 yoa straight white male in the same general career path, never been in charge of anything north of $60M, and not ever likely to be, and never told anyone off in a roomfull of peers (although there is a sniff of union busting there, but since I dismantled a defined benefits plan I can't go there either). I got nothing to fall back on but on of the old stand-bys: sexism.)
Well done Ms and Mr Bear (I don't believe she could have gotten all that shit done without a ton of support, and you are obviously appropriately proud of her.)
AND….the both the Obamas are totally smokin' hot.
Kill me now.
Buck up, mates. One thing O'Bama will never be able to do is write snark as well as you guys.
(Also whine.)
But you've achieved a triple-digit Wonkette score…one that's even higher than mine…now I need a drink.
Don't worry brodog, you've still got six years to be elected president and all that other shit.
jklolanhero.
well j lo's getting divorced. so there's that.
"well…i can tape all of your buns together."
To be fair, I think he was only an adjunct professor.
Adjuncts are just a tiny, tiny bit higher on the food chain than ABDs.
And of course, both of them are lower than slime mold.
At least, you have children. I just have a houseplant named Jolene.
I have a betta fish named Flushy, if that's any comfort.
I have refrigerator mold named Soylent. Oh yeah, I have kids too — but they're teens, so less interaction with them right now than my fridge… sigh — time for tequila and to lick the light socket…
I just hope he doesn't show up on one of those dreadful teevee ads for men's hair color.
Or Cialis. THAT would be embarassing.
Bob Dole doesn't think so. Bob Dole thinks it would be great if someone could lift the stink of ED from Bob Dole. Bob Dole!
Bob, is that you?
So you were talking about Libby and Red Cross in the post above?
It all makes sense now.
It would be sort of fun to have two aging sports guys follow him around and provide narration.
Wow, he's already sounding like my in-laws. Next he will be pocketing the sweet n' lows at the Denny's "restaurant," just like them. Oh well. Perhaps we can all pitch in and buy him a scooter?
Saw a pic of him on the beach recently. Talk about being in great shape! He may be grumpy, but he won't need that scooter for nigh on 30 years, at least.
I'm a 20-something, but I still collect napkins when I go to a restaurant, any restaurant, really. That's what you get when you grow up with a cheap father.
Pretty soon he'll start tipping at five percent and complaining about kids today with their hippity hop and baggy jeans.
From there, it's a short road to doing ads for jello.
Hey Barry, just so you know, Cracker Barrel won't give senior discounts to brown folks without the AARP long form membership certificate.
Also, be advised that the Denny's in Auburn, WA is likely to call the cops, who will take the routine precaution of throwing you into the slammer for the weekend. Just in case, you know?
Nice! Nevah forgit!! (I haven't!)
If Barry finds himself in Auburn he's got bigger problems than Denny's
They don't call it CRACKER Barrel for nuthin!
It's not like he is dealing with rampant , distracting Rethuglican budgetary douchebaggery or anything…
Come see the libunatic hypocrisy! A Fox News anchor forgets 9/11 and everyone's all over him, but Dear Leader doesn't even know his own date (or LOCATION??????????????) of birth, and you're all fine with that! You hypocrites make me sick!
(EDIT: Wonder if this will give the troll cognitive dissonance…nah, he'll just downfist it…)
Appearing tonight* at Le Club Lib-U-Natic,
Doktor Owls & The Meme Floggers!
*and every other night too; every single one.
In other words….
all of them?
ALL of them, Katie.
Will this re-energize the birthers? [See--I told ya it was fake! He doesn't even know his own birthday!]
Barry's gonna rock that silver fox look.
Just as long as he doesn't end up looking like Fred Sanford.
Well, the Frothing Right already considers him Redd.
An aging black man with a straight razor and a bottle of sweet port in a brown paper bag?
He may be 50 in "normal guy" years, but how much does dealing with assholes like Cantor and Boehner and McConnell age any rational human. Four years through the fucking looking glass must seem like twenty when you have to look across the table at those sacks of shit. I don't agree completely with the man, but he is rational and no one in the whole of the republican party, from the guy running for Bumfuck County Alabama Dog Catcher and Parade Pooper Scooper to the great bunch of candidates they have assembled to go up against Barry, can lay claim to being rational or sane.
Irrational/Insane 2013!!
That's really his biggest problem. He keeps acting rationally, even though he knows the steaming piles of shit on both sides of him are incapable of acting out of antyhing but the narrowest political self interest. It was that rationality that attracted me to his candidacy in the first place, and why I have a deep respect for what he's actually done, but it has to just drag on the man.
In other news, Michele Bachmann has decided she's found a solution to our debt problem – specifically, acting like she doesn't understand English when the Chinese come looking for their debt payments (if they can find her in the bushes, that is).
Great rant!
All you have to do is look at a picture of him today next to a picture from 2008. It's like he's aging in dog years.
Obama's speeding up his own aging process so he'll still get his social security at that same time after he jacks up the age requirement and otherwise gives Boner and Cantor reacharaounds.
Man, can you imagine how pissed off Obama must be over this whole debt ceiling thing? The Republicans have nothing to lose here. Nothing. It's gonna be a replay of the state government shutdowns across the country- the Republicans are just gonna sit there until he says "uncle", and if that comes after Aug. 2, oh well. Of course, it's NOT a replay of the state budget issues- the results of missing the deadline could not be more different. The Republican rank-and-file fail to understand what the consequences of this are, and the people who do understand in their party lack the leadership skills to do anything about it. Political fallout aside, the Republicans have very little to gain from cutting a deal here. They have no motivation to be reasonable.
Barry is hyper-aware of the fact that the car is careening towards a cement wall and it's being driven there by Eric Cantor, who has stuck crayons in his ears and is yelling and blowing raspberries at the top of his lungs. Even for President Mister Cool Cat, that's gotta really bother him.
Esp. when he knows these same fucks had no problem raising the debt limit (numerous times) under Bush.
Here is the body count on Debt Ceiling increases;
Reagan 18
Poppa Bush 13
Clinton 4
Baby Bush 7
Obama 3
And taking out debt to pay for unbudgeted wars, only to scream about the deficit once he put them back on budget.
You pretty much have to say at this point the GOP has just given up on objective reality and reason, in favor of pure selfishness. Or, "I can't be wrong if my base agrees with me, even if they are only 20 percent of the population and have no idea what they are saying."
Not to mention an unpaid for prescription drug plan for the olds. Putzes…
This. Not one of these fuckers cares what happens to those who eat hobo beans, or live in this country. As Mitch McConnell said, they're not going to help him get elected….which is how these retards see this issue.
It's gonna fuck up everyone, the rank-and-file Republicans as well as their Tea Party support base. A lot of the first-termers will probably get kicked out in a landslide. But the thing is, they understand that if they support a debt-ceiling increase, they'll lose the support of the 'baggers anyway.
It's just sad that the entire fucking country has to go down in flames because these pigfuckers made a Faustian bargain with a bunch of 800 pound racist geezers who can't even walk on their own two feet.
The Republicans are bluffing. This whole public quarrel is pure theatrics on both sides. When they come out with their shitty compromise, the public will be relieved because "Whew! We didn't default." The shitty compromise won't look so shitty because, "Whew!" &tc.
this is what i think. only not all the republicans are bluffing (i don't think bachmann for instance is bluffing).
but i do think a deal is going to get down.
b/c if it doesn't we're all in a world of pain.
The tea partiers are definitely not bluffing, and the half-way sane leadership is bluffing, but only to appease/keep up appearances their bagger base. These are exactly the issues the TP'ers campaigned on; they said in plain terms that they were going to Washington to grind it to halt, and that's exactly what they've been trying to do since January.
I don't know much about what will happen in 2012, but what I do know is that neither McConnell nor Boehner will be heading up their caucus in either house after the election. Those two were in trouble the minute they won the House.
As a wise friend of mine once said, as bad as the current person is, the best thing about them is that they are so much better than what is coming next.
(The context was Boris Yeltsin, and turned out to be so very true.)
Most of the members of the House of Representatives are from non-competitive districts. That number will probably go up with the redistricting going on now. All they have to do is tell people what they want to hear and they have a cool job for life.
you're right about barry's situation but i think (and as no one really gives a shit about me) and lots of other influential voices also think that the republicans are in nasty place on this one.
and are going to be left standing after the last chair is taken – when the baggers' and their 'solutions' are shown to be batshit insane, ignorant, and well, most importantly, wrong.
that being said i personally think a deal will be done. but still! eric cantor is a total tool and whatever district in VA elected him needs a kick in the nuts. and so does he.
For as bad as the media is at painting narratives, have you not noticed that for th first time ever, Eric Cantor and the Tea Baggers are already being painted as being unreasonable? We must be watching two different shows, 'cause the House Republicans have already lost.
The Republicans went too far in on this one. The president has gone SO far to the right on this one, that every day they don't take his deal they look absolutely insane. There is now open talk of a fued between Boehner and Cantor, something everyone had already known, but something the media shied away from talking about. Now, McConnell is trying to cut a deal behind their backs…they are in complete disarray.
No, they don't win the optics of this battle at all anymore.
More importantly than that, can you imagine how mad Boehner must be over Cantor constantly trying to put the screws in him? Especially when he goes out of his way to be gleeful about doing so?
August 4 is just the date on that counterfeit long form he created with Photoshop. (Actually, Malia is the one with the Photoshop skillz.)
Clearly, he just revealed his REAL birthday — the one on the Kenyan Muslin birth certificate that's being hidden by the Masons, the Illuminati, and the Mafia. (And Karl Marx's ghost, also.)
You're a fucking tool and provocateur. Everyone who really 'gets it' knows that it's the Trilateral Commission and of course, the JEWZ!!
Take your shit to one of those useless fake conspiracy boards and leave us enlightened ones alone!
teh JEws? Anthony Weiner is involved ?
Ya know I'm missin' me some Weiner. What ever happend to him?
Anyone who can't place the goldfish-in-the-shoe scene has no claim to enlightenment. Hah – got you, sucka!
Peckah-head.
Got it yet? I'm outta clues, so I'll just hand it over: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQKKgNC5EpM
Yer welcum.
you gUys soUnd so goOd for bEing so FUlL OF SHiT!!
EvEry onE wHo lOkked aT thIs KnowS it Was plaNned parEnthood and aCCorns
I thought it was the reverse vampires?
I just hope the damn AARP discount applies to renting a van down by the river.
My mom is nearly his age, and she began getting AARP junk mail a few years ago, and she has a silent, mini, mid-life crisis every time she sees the logo. One of her older sisters stop counting how old she was even though she doesn't mind actually celebrating her birthday, every year.
your mom is his age????
jesus junior.
EDIT: had to fix your / you're typo for the ego.
Hell, I'm getting the AARP hard-copy spam.
Just because my idea of a great computer game is Zork, doesn't make me old. Does it?
SHOW US THE AARP CARD!
AND THE DISCOUNTS!
OBAMA SAID THERE ARE 57 WEEKS IN A YEAR! WHERE'S YER MESSIAH NOW LIBUNATICS?
In Barry's defense, so much crazy shit is gonna happen in the next 3 weeks, president-wise, that he'll probably overlook his birthday entirely.
Asshole. He's not even 50 and he's been President for a couple o' years. I'm 51 and I haven't even gotten Full yet. Asshole.
Well, in a good way I mean. He's a really good asshole, know what I'm saying?
Yep. He's the kinda guy you really like, but at the same time deep down he makes you feel kinda like a loser, so every so often you put him down under your breath.
I don't think he's an asshole at all. He's just a bit uppity for my taste.
If only he wasn't so near …
I just want him to go all Putney Swope on their asses, ya know?
In three weeks (four months), I'll be 59, and still 6 years from Medicare eligibility, or a discount insurance voucher, depending on Paul Ryan's career. The senior discounts and early bird specials are going to be my strategy for retirement.
Ah, but behold the genius of the system! Your discounts for Long John Silver's and the Two-for-One Early Bird at Joe Bob's Lard-Fried Lard Cakes Emporium will guarantee that you'll never live to eligibility.
And in the event that you avoid said establishments, the irresistible allure of $1.47 off at participating Super 8 Motels* and the extraordinary bargain of $0.03 off every gallon of gas at participating Valero stations** will inevitably drive you, in a rather literal sense, into penury and the inevitable consequence thereof: starvation in between unremarkable villages in a car without gas and water, where from you can choose to walk hopelessly into oblivion in the brutal sun and die or sit in the glowing hot immobilized car and die. The resulting fiscal consequences for Medicare/Aid being thus also favorably resolved. Filthyweasel Cantor is getting a girl boner just thinking about it.
*Amarillo TX & Pembina ND locations only.
**Manchester ME & Ensenada CA only.
But you'll legally be able to steal condiments from diners and fast-food-joints…and bitch about how shitty and irresponsible young people are…and look smugly down upon them at the same time…so buck up.
I don't know what you guys are complaining about. My retirement strategy is pure, plain, simple, and effective. I visit my friends, sit on their sofas, and surreptitiously search between the cushions for loose change. I then invest the change in Powerball and Megamillion tickets. Works greater'n shit! Sometimes the friends even feed me.
Excellent idea! I have adopted a slightly different approach, wherein I surreptitiously place small packets of rat poison in those same cushion creases. The increased profit margin comes from being able to not only loot the loose cushion change, but also the moron's un-willed "estate."
50? He should emulate Jack Benny and be 39 forever.
MrLimeyLizzie is 70 and when we go to see a film he always asks for one senior and one adult and I feel like a small child.
Is he really? My husband is younger and I feel like Joan Collins. I've always been attracted to older men before I met Jeff. I was born 9/21/62 and he on 11/21/62. A shiver just went through me. Those two months actually bother me.
I have never been with a younger man, my first boyfriend was 32 and I was 16.
Dear thing, STOP already! As a Calvinist-Buddhist, I believe that men are given by their creator a finite number of boners. Please! Don't make me spend said woodies when they are doomed at birth to not fulfill their god-given mission.
Oh Owls, I was so insanely adorable at 16, face of a 12 year old, body of an Italian sex-kitten from the 1950s!
Buddhists do not believe in a creator. Calvinists do not believe in boners. Your belief system is giving me chaloshes (or "choot-spa").
Go Daoist! The Arts of the Chamber will keep you alive!
My first wife Robin was nine years younger than me. She was Italian-American, and I would tell people her "maiden name" was DiCradle.
Love her! I refer to myself as the child bride.
I am 48 years-old. Tomorrow would have been my 31st wedding anniversary. Yep, I married at age 17. He was an older man and quite the asshole, lol.
Yikes, I never even considered marrying anyone seriously until I met Jack, but I managed to get engaged 3 times…I was a runner!
oh no no barb. my boy is ten years younger than me – and we have been living in sin (delightful, also pedantic and bill-plagued and family filled) sin since 1997.
he makes me think AND feel like a floozy and i wouldn't change it for the world.
We also would have accepted "bill-filled and family-plagued."
So this implies that you are embarking on a course of turning Wonko-names into verbs? Like: "Man, he sure mrblifil-ed that one!"
No good can come of this. If you continue, you will inevitably wind up sad and imissopused.
I love it!
He gets a bit upset when people think I am his daughter and when we were first together a friend of his , after first meeting me, said I wasn't age appropriate!
Sigh. I loved the days when I was age inappropriate.
I am only age inappropriate when seen with a 70 year old!
How long before the 1/2 his age +7 years creepiness factor phases out?
It never does. Take it from a gal with experience (with an Old).
My husband is 26 years older than I am, and we married when I was 42. I'm sad no one looks at me quizzically any more wondering if I am daughter or wife. Clearly I am looking age appropriate these days. Oh well.
A good man will do that for you, no matter how old you get.
He's the best, I am a lucky woman, all my friends , women and gay men alike, adore him.
Animals and kids, too, I'm guessing. You seem to have somehow found a real one.
if i had to work with mad, grand standing, hostage taking Republicans like Cantor and Boehner I will forget my birthday too, also
OMG. It would be so funny if, when Obama applies for his AARP membership, they are all like, "Show us your birth certificate!"
So, he said there were 57 states. Forgot his daughter's birthday. Forgot his own birthday.
Let the false equivalencies with Michele "John Q. Adams was an 8 year old founding father" Bachman and Sarah "everything she's ever said" Palin begin.
“You know, I’m going to be turning 50 in a week, so I’m starting to think a little bit more about Medicare eligibility,” Obama said while discussing a possible deal to reduce the debt.“You know, I’m going to be turning 50 in a week, so I’m starting to think a little bit more about Medicare eligibility,” Obama said while discussing a possible deal to reduce the debt.
A deal to raise eligibility for Medicare, in exchange for repealing a bit of the tax cuts that gave us the debt?
This is simply good cop/bad cop. Instead of a confession, the servants of our corporate overlords want us to give up our nice social programs (Social Security, Medicare) to pay for their wars and their tax cuts and their corporate bailouts.
Obama is on their side, not ours.
~
Albuquerque's that-a-way, buddy.
Downfist Troll: we know your secret
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DjsSWw-33Q
OW! My eyes! They burnnnnn!
Ween will always get you +1
And put in song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZISwJZ-_xXY
I just double fisted you.
well that was like a traffic accident with severed limbs: can't stop hating, can't stop looking.
Upfist your fellow Wonketteers, the Downfister is abroad.
A broad?
Spanky2 is most likely an obese and incredibly poorly endowed male, typical of the keyboard kommandos. But he makes up for it with his gun collection.
~
In Kenyan, he's 26, or is that 126. I can never figger out them ferrin kalundors.
I'm excited to pay a substantial portion of my measly salary to an entitlement I'll never receive because the republicans won't stop raping it.
Different FROM, not "different than".
You know who else went around correcting everyone's grammar?
Rebekah Brooks?
Edwin Newman?
I might be one of only seven or eight people who remembers David Letterman's first venture on NBC, a 1980 morning talk/comedy show that came on right after Today. It featured news updates presented by Edwin Newman, who would occasionally chat with Letterman. Letterman did a "back to school" prop sketch in which he said the ordinary kids will be taking boring lunchboxes to school–his example was a very lame, but real "Disco" lunchbox. But the cool kids? They're all going to pack their lunch in THIS: an Edwin Newman Lunchbox.
God, I wanted one of those.
Then I guess you, me and six or seven other people constitute said group. Talk about the ultimate wake and bake scenario! Short of Saturday morning with Pee Wee, that baffling and hysterical time slot occupant was a true gem in the lives of stoners nationwide. And I'd forgotten Ed's role…the man is priceless. If you haven't read "A Civil Tongue" by him…do it!
Oh, and then there's this!
William Safire?
http://chronicle.com/article/50-Years-of-Stupid-G...
Hey pal! Have you read "Life Reeked with Joy"? It's hysterical, enjoy!
http://www.wilsonquarterly.com/article.cfm?AID=11...
*sniff* That was truly beautiful.
In the 1400 hundreds most Englishmen were perpendicular. A class of yeowls arose.
An angry Martin Luther nailed 95 theocrats to a church door.
Hitler remilitarized the Rineland over a squirmish between Germany and France.
Of course, Sarah Heath would have been only 20 years old at the time of this writing. That would qualify her as a Freshman, at her 2nd or 3rd college…
Isn't it a marvel? It inspired me to finally start collecting some of my gems, such as:
What is a 'tributary economy'?
Where anonymous pleasants pay tributaires to the landers.
Who is Nelson Mandela?
Black guy, white hair.
And the current name on top of the leaderboard:
What was the Baader-Meinhof Gang?
They were the Meinhofs that were Baader than all the other Meinhofs.
I was already fairly sad, and this news about Sister-of-owls made me even sadder. This February, it will be 15 years for me since I rid myself of the problem that she has. As it turns out, I merely substituted a different problem in its place. It's weird being active again on the addiction recovery scene — many issues to which I had not been sensitive in a long time.
My weird town is so small and dysfunctional that the local NA meetings at the homeless shelter have been furloughed due to lack of leadership. Mind you, there is no shortage of addicts, but the pool of recovering addicts who are fit to lead and administer meetings is vanishingly small. So the NAs regularly show up at our meetings, which is great because, you know, whatever works. Last week a recently (~few days out of treatment) clean lady went into seizures during the meeting. She was fine within a few minutes, and it gave us all a fine chance to put some ideas into action.
Anyway, sorry to hear about your sister. I hope she finds peace soon. It's not surprising (to me) that you and she each got the disease. From some of your writings, I think I understand why. Me, I come from a family of "functional" alcoholics; nobody has ever gotten it bad enough (until now) to need to address it in any way. And as far as I know, nobody aside from my sister realizes that anybody has it, even still.
*blows dust off shelf*
Gee willikers, how do you find these places, amigo? Sorry if I triggered bum thoughts with my pretty ham-fisted comment, felt foolish for posting it in the first place. Didn't realize you'd been at the pointy end on this, for what it's worth, I'm even more proud of you now. As to Sister of Owls, she is (I think) doing ok by her standards these days. Of course, this would be considered ruinous by any normal metric, but you know the story about digging 'new bad normals' for oneself. The whole thing is really epic tragedy, if I started there'd be no stopping. As you know from earlier this year, I understand the world through anecdotes, stories. Some day, if I'm lucky, I actually will write them down. Anyway, one particularly haunting vignette occurred during one of her descents, which played out while I was overseas (pre-email). Short of it is that sis was playing everyone off each other for money and saying "oh please god don't tell the folks you know how they are!" Turns out Mrs. Owls was having none of that and post-haste rang the padres, bringing the whole house of cards down. When I get back, all that's left is an angry message of the, "how could you rat me out like that?!" variety and a disconnected phone when I tried to call back. This is one of those old cheesy answering machines, and after it finishes the last recording, it drones in a creepy unisex monotone, "End of messages."
That really hit me because I thought it might well be true. It wasn't, but it probably was the end (or beginning of the end) of any trust I had in her, I fear for good. Again, you know how these things play out, we both do. Her problem, it seems, is that she never stops digging the hole she's in deeper. Me? You, I hope? We cut our losses and started in on the installment plan to undoing the ills that have been done. It's ok. We're doing the best we can and that's something. I know you're having a rougher patch of this season than I am, wish I could offer more solace than I do. But you'll be fine. So will I. And once we're through the holidays, we'll be staring out into the warm, welcoming embrace of January. And. February. And March.
Um, right. Ok. You get my drift. So fret not about me or my sis, and dwell not on what we used to be. I hope your approach is still working for you, I get nervous sometimes. Strange, coming from a lone wolfer, no? Sending you a big, big hug. And I'll try to be a bit more sensitive about what I'm throwing up here, I know it bummed you out some earlier. Chau, compa.
He's the most powerful man in the world, and yet at the same time, he is completely powerless. He is owned by the bankers and businessmen that put him into power.
I think you're looking for the party down the street:
<a href="http://www.dailykos.com” target=”_blank”>www.dailykos.com
Seriously, we know he has his faults, but we take a modicum of comfort knowing he's in charge instead of, say, senile McCain & his Snowbilly sidekick.
It isn't Barry, but our political system that is fucked. And fucking the fucking 5 assholes on the Supremes.
What happened is that after three years of dealing with the hillbillies, grifters, witches, teatards, closet cases, Mormons, and Foxbots, Barry just wants to go to Applebees for a basket of riblets, hotbox some Marlboros and then come home and fuck his wife like a badass Mandingo warrior. Debt ceiling be damned.
And then, after a good night's sleep, he goes back to work! What a stud.
God love that man!
A Maasai warrior, Ms. Bytch. We mustn't forget that he's Kenyan, after all, or Indo-Malay Muslin or Hawaiian, or whatever.
So true. I should keep that straight. Although personally, I see him as straight up Vulcan. I just wish he'd get his Pom Farr on and kick some ass.
OMG! He's Tuvok from Star Trek: Voyager! You have opened mine eyes.
According to John Hodgman, Obama may also be the Kwisatz Haderach
Damn, I'm 51.
Wish I could forget my birthday.
But that Raygun thing hasn't kicked in….yet.
……………………………………………………………………………………………….
Who the hell are you all and why have you freinded me?
……………………………………………………………………………………………….
Oh the dots are so pretty.
At least he didn't give Lou Sarah's answer when asked what date her Birthday fell on: "All of them.".
I'm having a senior moment with you. And your sister. I think her name's Debra.
Why are there no headlines about this? DBB'S Pretend boyfriend, David Schuster, it hosting for Keith. I love you, Al Gore for bringing David back into my life. Oh, oh, oh–if he says "you're welcome" it will, at least for a moment, make me forget the scorching, parched hellscape outside my door.
And Al–since you have all this money and seem to be calculating on what will make me happy, could you put a contract out on Inhofe before the Sun Belt turns into the surface of the sun?
Who is that clinton grift guy who is evidently following 1000+ people, including me? What is that about? If this is some kind of trollish winger stalking scheme, how the fuck does he have the time? Surely his mother make him leave the basement at least so she can vacuum the dump.
It is the same loser from the past couple of months under a new nickname.
Like I said, saddest club in the world.
He accounts for 2 of the past 5 visitors to my profile. He must really have it in for me, since I post with about 1/100th of the frequency of most of you.
Yes, but when you do, it's poetry.
Your cheetoh-stained stalker has a name, one that never changes:
Spanky2b
He's sort of like the Intense Debate form of SkoalRebel.
HE WISHES HE WERE LIKE SKOALREBEL
Skoalrebel has more snark, wit, and insight in his mudjug full of moldy, rancid chaw-spit than this guy will ever know.
BARRY: (confused) Dinner? W..What time is it?
MRS ROBINSON: (pulling on a coat) It's four-thirty.
BARRY: (bewildered) Four-thirty? Who eats dinner at four-thirty?
MICHELLE: By the time we sit down, it'll be quarter to five.
BARRY: I don't understand why we have to eat now.
MRS ROBINSON: We gotta catch the early-bird. It's only between four-thirty and six.
MICHELLE: Yeah. They give you a tenderloin, a salad and a baked potato, for
four-ninety-five. You know what that cost you after six?
BARRY: Can't we eat at a decent hour? I'll treat, okay?
MRS ROBINSON: You're not buying us dinner.
BARRY: I'm not force-feeding myself a steak at four-thirty to save a
coupla bucks, I'll tell you that!
MRS ROBINSON: Alright, we'll wait. But it's unheard of.
They sound like an old Jewish couple.
Adapted from Seinfeld, so no wonder. "The Cadillac, pt 2"
Actually, the big day is Aug. 4 — three weeks from yesterday.
(That’s four days after the Treasury Department says it will lose borrowing authority unless Obama and congressional Republicans strike a deal to raise the $14.3 trillion debt ceiling.)
Actually, Aug. 2 is the deadline, which is only two days before his birthday. C'mon USA Today, I expect better of a newspaper with so many pretty colors.
you all have had so many interesting threads going that i have entirely forgotten what this was all about.
i will merely add: damn barry still looks fine.
Barry, you can make it up to Malia by flashing your AARP card at Tiffany's. Tell them Newt sent you.
Boy is Barry gonna be disappointed when he finds out about Paul Ryan's proposal to raise the Applebees discount age to 78.
So we got la Benincasa back for one week and then she deserts us again? Oh fickle femme!
and no matter how old Barry looks, he'll never look as bad as ole turtle face or da boner.
Nor the worst of the lot, that sneering fanatic Filthyweasel Cantor.
Must have something to do with Hawaii and the International Date Line and the longitude and latitude of Kenya and Catholic Church and the De Medici connection. Yep, that explains it.
And the Freemasons.
And the Big Bob's Build-a-Burger.
Parah Sailin can't get the discounts. This will be a scandal of biblical proportions.
There's a PAC for that.
Doctor: " Who is the President of the United States?"
Obama: "ME!"
The president of the U.S. depending on Medicare to see him through his golden years. Yeah. That will be the day.
Damn! Our auto-generated "filthyweasel Cantor" meme has already viralized!
The prospects for an agreement now are worse because of Rep. Cantor's presence in them. That's not because he's a conservative … It's because he's acting like a weasel.
–James Fallows, The Atlantic
Now da whole nation,
talking about,
filthyweaselinization!
I'm not sure it was us. He just oozes weaselity.
And the pace at which he oozes it is properly denoted as "weaselocity."
And the act of poisoning negotiations by skittering to a news conference and bald-face lying about what took place is properly denoted as "weaselifying."
…oh, the weekend is young and the permutations nearly endless.
That was a meme? I thought it was a general description of his behavior.
It will be very interesting though to see the fall out between Boehner and Cantor after the elections since Cantor hit a level of scumbag behavior that even Mitch McConnell refused to lower himself to a few years back during the Trent Lott "segregation was awesome" fiasco.
Masturbation :: Orgy
Hara-kiri :: Congressional Republicans & Followers
Fallows is the best the Atlantic has. Not that it means much to say so. The editorial company he keeps is Easterbrook, Mc Cardle, and Hitchens.
It's been downhill since they let William Langiewische walk.
Knock,knock, knock….Hello. anyone at Wonkette home?
I realize it's the weekend but how is McDownfister gonna make his money if you don't post anything new?
Come on, he's hiding in his parents basement without any recourse then to watch porn…again.
His rug is stained and his keyboard is getting to sticky to type.
Hello?….Hello?….anyone home?
Your all out getting drunk…..right?…right?….right?
I knew it.
Fine, I'm staying drunk til Monday.
Maybe Tuesday too.
Possibly all week and it's all your fault.
Our Breitard "pal" does not post anything new, regardless of the thread.
Anyone currently watching the SNL rerun?
It ain't gay if it's in a three-way, indeed.
Teabaggers! You really should google that! jejeje!
Sunday morning has some cheery news. That Annoying redhead, Rebekah Brooks got herself arrested for wiretapping etc…Murdoch's son next?
I won't be happy until I see Ropert Murdoch, himself, uncontrollably weeping and beseeching the world for forgiveness while being bodily dragged off to jail…so, I guess I'll never be happy about this situation.
Medicare? That still exists?
Yes, but for a limited time only! You know, like the McRib, only they won't bring Medicare back every other year like a zombie.
Crikey, the Guardian and NYT are destroying Voldemurdoch's horcruxes one by one. I think I've gained 10 pounds this week from all the Schadenfreude.
Schadenfreude is delicious when it's in season.
It's even better when served ice cold and with a glass of Zeitgeist.
Haven't we all. Maybe this is God's way of making up for the vengeful, life-sucking heat we're suffering.
The Lord has turned on the broiler over here too.
This (proves/disproves) global climate change. This also (proves/disproves) the (existence/non-existence) of (a,an,the) (benevolent/hostile) (deity/space brothers).
Please turn to page 341. Civilization has died in a righteous conflagration. Thank you for playing. This has been another "Choose Your Climate Change Adventure," brought to you by Wonkette and tribbzthesquidz.
So this thread is about futbol feminina, right? Ok then; stochastic liveblogin':
-These chicas fucking rock!!
-This is simply not the same game as the one played by 'hombres.' When these broads get knocked down, two things happen: they don't writhe around on the pitch like fucking pussies and someone from the other team helps them up. Yo, 'men'? Watch, learn and grow some fucking testicles you raging faggots.
-These bitches fucking rock!!
-The ESPN announcer with lady parts just said that if the US wins, we will have to "bronze" Abby Wambach's amazing header noggin. Um, that should be an interesting look.
-The ESPN announcer with a peen and a British accent described the Japanese defense as 'obdurate.' I will be expecting that to wind up a favored descriptor at NASCAR events.
-Fucking ice water in their veins!!!
-Some U-S-A fans are wearing those oversized goalie gloves with letters on them so the can spell something ("Hope"?). The first fan, fittingly a woman, got out of sync and put up her hands up while no one else did. Two hands, two letters. I mean really, "HO"?
-Oh holy christ…the nips just tied it with four minutes left…in extra time. Jesus, Mary and Joseph DiMaggio.
[cont.]
-Well, fuck.One of the Yellows basically walks up to the ball on a PK and taps it weakly in. Solo tuned to a different station. This is the way the game ends, not with a bang but a limper.
-Brit twit rocks the dictionary again, describing the aforementioned successful Jap penalty kick as 'indolent.' No doubt this will catch on among NHL announcers.
-Jesus, look at these dames. Stoic doesn't even come close to doing them justice. If we elected these titanium-spined ladies to Congress, there would be blood on the floor. Slimeweasel blood.
-Ok, so boorish epithets aside, the Japanese women were simply wicked…in a Masshole sense of that word. Oh for the love of irony…they just awarded one of those stellar Japanese players with the equivalent of an MVP. You know what they call it? That's right, "The Golden Ball Award." This whole affair is becoming hallucinatory.
-Award ceremony: our women in white pose(?) behind some FIFA placard or something; bet that's gonna show up as Solo's profile pic ("Here we are celebrating the most devastating loss imaginable! lol!!")
-Holy fucking carnivorous eels! Camera shot: the extraordinarily phallic trophy (with that Golden Ball again, right on top!) being held, no actually, being groped by a slithering mass of Asian arms. What the fucking fuck…
I agree with all the above. I think I'm now gay for some of those women. Go, Title 9. I remember in the 70s the shit women put up with in the early years of the women's movement. Belittled, humiliated, made fun of, etc.
Today was payoff time. I was so proud. And yes, the men could take a lesson. How nice to watch a match without the endless dives.
Just got filthyweaseled by cranky2b. You there, poopyhead? You just downfisted a post praising an American team. Good for you, stinky, you should be proud of hating the USofA. Fucking smelly maggot.
Between the filthyweaseling and the hookworms, my intestines don't know which way is up.
I just wasted a good part of this beautiful afternoon fighting with poopyheads whose only response to delegates from America going to Frankfurt was, "no monies! 4u!"
He sucks as totally as the USA women rock.
I don't know. I could have done without the multiple, seemingly nonchalant and nonironic uses of racial slurs against some women just playing soccer, but that's just me. Someone had to say it, right? I mean, even a site like this there is a way to use them and a way not to. I'm not hyper-sensitive about this stuff, but it just seemed like an odd, unnecessary place into which to insert the stuff. Sorry for the lack of snark.
You are absolutely right, and given how much I respect you, I feel deeply remorseful. For what it's worth, which is not much, the slurs were intended to be ironic (and contextualized as such by the admittedly weak/vague disclaimer of 'boorish epithets aside') but obviously came across as something quite different. For that, I sincerely apologize. Just one last note, again truly irrelevant but something that to me at least seems to indicate a lack of anti-Asian prejudice on my part: I have been married to a Korean for more than 23 years. I know, that's utterly inadmissible as a defense against the use of racial epithets, but nonetheless wanted to point out that fact, as well as the fact that I was an employee of the Japanese government for five years at their Consulate in Houston. As a speechwriter, no less! Again, perhaps you think this is irrelevant and perhaps you may be right. The odd thing is that, maybe as a consequence of the ethnic (rather than 'racial') nature of inter-group conflict/identification that I was raised in during the 60s-70s in Massachusetts, I absorbed the mores of that environment, to wit, 'slurs' were only such in certain contexts. Thus, when my best friend's dad, Mr. Gasbarro, called me the only 'stupid mick' on the block, it was understood as a gentle jibe…even an expression of endearment, odd as that sounds.Alternatively, when an English roommate of my HS friend attending Columbia, upon hearing that I'd just had a 'wonderful conversation' with a NORAID representative on my way up to the dorm, when he called me a, 'fucking terrorist harp,' well that was no gentle jibe. So to conclude a much too long explication, my intent was banal while my execution was confusing, misleading and perhaps atrocious.
Once more, given how much I respect you as a Wonkolleague, your completely justified discomfort is particularly upsetting to me. Disculpame, por favor.
Since I appear to be pick-pocketing our lovely eds. thematic grooves, let us now move from livebloggin' to:
A Children's Treasury of Fox Comments on the "World Cup Final: What It Means For Young Girls in America" article.
–My t-shirt will say—After 25 yrs of having to look a SOCCER MOM stickers on imported minivans–all they came home with was second place. [Witty!]
–It means losing to Japan [Trenchant!]
–BO-RING! [Engaging!]
–This means that they don't have to waste their time shaking hands with and being used by Obama for the re-election photo op! Truly, a nation in decline…just as he wants it! [Relevant!]
And finally, from "amissourimom":
–Why would AMERICANS be proud? These "women" are part of the problem that is tearing apart AMERICA. These ladies would be better off preparing for their lives as wives and mothers and young AMERICAN girls should be doing the same. This kinda philandering is doing just as much damage to the family unit as Gay marraige is. AMERICA was built on the principle that women and men each have their own different but equal domains – This is not the place for AMERICAN women!! just my two cents…[Inevitable!]
Oh god, I have to get out of there…
–I think it's great that young girls can also get sports scholarships, so we can send them to college to be indoctrinated into liberalism, multiculturalism, gay rights and class envy. [Damn, where did she get a copy of my syllabus for POLI666: Liberalism, Multiculturalism, Gay Rights & Class Envy As Bedrocks of Imperialist America's So-Called Civilization???]
–There needs to be a constitutional amendment against this un-American sport!
POLI666: Liberalism, Multiculturalism, Gay Rights & Class Envy As Bedrocks of Imperialist America's So-Called Civilization
I would audit the hell out of that class.
Let's hope that last one was a Poe, maybe? (I can dream, can't i?)
If a Poe is a Punk, yes, I believe it was. The others, alas, appear genuine.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."
And, after fighting for 40 years, ignorant fucking assholes like this still exist.
Well eat shit and die, dickheads. You're losing this battle. Game over.
And same to you, crankypoob2 or whatever your pathetic alias is. Stay in that basement as long as you can, because each year, there are fewer closed little minds like yours. Don't you have shit to do, other than cruise sites that demonstrate your utter lack of wit? Stick to Breitfart, or whatever his name is.
You miserable, perpetually angry bastards.
Thanks, user owls, for allowing me to use my reply to you to dump shit on the little douche with the little dick.
At your service, Dusty. And I too remember how significant Title IV was/is. Which of course is why miscreants argue that a $2,500 budget for a women's volleyball, or rugby, or any goddamn thing is bleeding the $2.2B football budget dry. Evil toads.
IMVU ads everywhere! I don't even have an IMVU acct. The one showing on Wonkette is some weird vampire thing. Help!
Well, hell, the women lose and I'm too late on "my" the wonket to catch up with the pretend friends whom I like and enjoy more than my "real" ones. Unfortunately, I volunteered to house and feed 15 United Methodists from some nowhere town in Texas who are up here on a one-week mission project at the Indian Methodist church. Our payoff is a charitable tax deduction, a shit load of work, and deep gratitude from the people I saved from sleeping on a church floor and showering down at the swimming pool..
And why am I sharing this? Because I thought my wonkeratti colleagues might sleep better knowing that I, Dust Bowl Blues, am officially on the fast-track to heaven when we get Raptured away. I'll make sure to put in a good word for all you losers.
Sleep well, xoxoxoxo DBB
You'll have to fill out a form first. Then you wait in line. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVTlueB-ReI
x's and o's back atcha
If you could be my reference, I'm putting in an application for a 2-bedroom riverview on Heaven's Westside, you know, the best side.
What do you need TWO bedrooms for?
Hey DBB, when you get up/over/under there could you just ask one of those bearded fellas or spirit miasm thing, why the fuck did you put them fossils everywhere? Really, what was it some kind of a joke?
Alright…it's feckin' Monday and goddammit…I want a good week for once. Work sucks, life sucks and Wonkette is my fucking anchor. Owls made a good start so we'll take that as a sign. Listen up people…I want snappy humor, iron clad snark, and dick jokes. Your fallback position is here: Rupert Murdoch. When Tinydickbriebarts start their strafing runs I want to see people rally with their thumbs. Back up your wonkette, and he/she will back you up.
Alright! Let's make it happen.
I've been riveted to the Guardian UK for the Murdoch scandal, almost as fun as Watergate. They are running a live blog.
In other news with Wonkette potential, http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0711/59194.h... http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/07/17/evening...
I'm in AARP.
The discount on orgies and meth make it all worthwhile, whippersnappers.
He thinks he's going to get discounts at age 50?
/52 and can't get a damn discount on a movie ticket, a meal, insurance or anything else. Of course, I keep refusing to switch my insurance to AARP because their rates are higher than what I pay by using the company I've been with for 30 years.
Is this thing on?
I had never met the man before. He was speaking to my dad on the patio and the next thing I knew I was called out there. I had mono and a temp of 103 and the temp outside was 104. I was like, "if I do this, I can leave?" Good enough for me!
Oh Good Lord, that sounds very Holly Golightly!
Love that movie!
Except for the insanely over-the-top and racially insensitive Japanese neighbour, as portrayed by Mickey Rooney!
Sort of a Haley Mills / Sophia Loren (both ca. 1960) mashup, eh? I like it!
You are a cruel, cruel woman to gash away at an old bird's remaining reservoir of woodrow's with such, oh, such a powerful portrayal of an "objet de fantaisie"
Let's check the spreadsheet, shall we? Oh my fucking god! I only have that many left!??
Well, I don't look 16 anymore , darling!
Totally Hayley Mills, sort of that toothy, wholesome thing as a young teen, more Claudia Cardinale , not quite as tall as Sophia.
OMG, I forgot about that part. But really, anything with Audrey Hepburn in it. Anything.
[/updates Netflix queue]
Yeah, dat's it. So where you want you zucchini?
You e'er will look thus in this juvenile dirty bird's imagination.
To a mature specimen, of course, you'll sport the more dignified, "Ooh, lah lah" plumage, enticing a lusty owl in such a way as a dragonfly to a sweet spring marsh.
Some of my own favorites (none as good as the Baadest of the Baad, though):
America is becoming a nation of pre-Madonnas.
This can be seen in the great novel To Kill a Mockingbird, by Boo Radley…
Meth users often become nervous and pair annoyed.
We must take a no holes bared approach against pornography.
lol @:
"And to you, I say, shut up, nerd."
Ha!
Ooh, well the last one is certainly a keeper!
A "no holes bared approach against pornography" will really build up my self of steam.
Well, I was pissed off before. But this just in from my friend "in country":
"I put this young man's mortal remains on the aircraft here in Leatherneck. He had re-enlisted after he got his citizenship. And this article is right; he'd missed a close call just a week before. We were all really sad at this one."
"Gurpreet Singh." Clearly NOT the name of a "True Amerikun."
Probably played that Communist Liberal Furreninger "soccer" thing, too.
Isn't this a dandy?
Don't be sorry. And don't guard your words. You don't have to watch what you say around me. (thanks for the thought, though!) There aren't supposed to be any checks or limits on what we post here; if there were, the entire system might collapse. It was just a regular bout of empathy I was having, and there's nothing sick about that. It was a long time ago — I've changed careers twice since then! Like I said, it's just weird having to think about it again, and I was already thinking about it before your comment came along.
Elliott Smith, one of my favorite singer/songwriters, had both diseases. This is a guy whose Grammy-winning song began with the line
I'll fake it through the day
with some help from Johnny Walker Red.
and he wasn't saying it just to be cool. He was a year younger than me, and ended his life a few years back with a single, self-inflicted stab wound to the chest. He had tired of the revolving door, I suspect. Got clean again only to get dirty again, and likely didn't want to face another round.
And then there's that Amy Winehouse — she made it about 4 or 5 months sober, much as you and I have done, and then had that one, final relapse. Very sad.
I initially had a problem listening to any part of my music library, since it had all been sucked into the universe of subconscious associations and every song by any musician reminded me of some intoxication experience. So I adopted this lone-wolf strategy, totally not endorsed by any Program: I dug up a band that I used to listen to religiously in high school, from the pre-addiction days, that was almost entirely free from associations. Of course, it was just an excuse to fill in gaps in the music library, but it got me through some of the toughest episodes. It was cheaper than Red Label, and it worked like a dream.
One of the sad, old men at the meetings recently accused me of "dipping my fingers in the ambiance of AA meetings" — it other words, being a dilettante, which I totally am. I'm slumming, as though it were some sort of ironic status symbol. But I'm not a church-goer, and my shrink is no longer available to me, so this is what I got.
Of course, it doesn't help that I've been rereading Solzhenitsyn the past two weeks. After it came up in the course of some normal Wonket buffoonery, I was drawn to it. I thought it would cheer me up.
Спокойной ночи, друг
Here's some Solzhenitsyn anti-venom. My anthem, my prayer, my restorer of faith in humanity:
A WORD ON STATISTICS
Forgive me if I've already passed this along, but even if so, it seems apt for the situation. Plus: no matter how bad an irritable bowel of a Russkie writer breaks things up, a wise Polacka can make it whole again.
Just a very brief but very heartfelt wish for strength, peace and joy in the coming year, friend. We both deserve it. Hope you revel in Susie 's unvarnished happiness tomorrow, the sort of glee that comes with innocence and simplicity, with feeling not thought. Take care, whippersnapper, sending love your way.
ps thought of you guys when I read about the storm this morning…make a snow owl for me!
Hey bro. Just a short one. I'm feeling awfully low and just wanted to reach out. I'm slipping…cracking…I'm getting scared that I could break altogether. To be clear: it's not that I want back in the bottle. Truly, I've not had the slightest twinge on that front. I am just so isolated, so very alone. And the loneliness is corroding me.
I'm sorry…again…for dumping and for probably making you worry. Please don't. I am strong enough to take it and I'll work through this. I hope you are well. I'm glad we've gotten to play with words some lately…you're good at it. I must go, but thanks for being here for me. I've said it before, but just knowing you are out there means the world to me. Un abrazo fraternal.
Thanks for this poem; it contains some great perspective. I shared it with my mother, another Wise Polacka.
Thanks. You, too. We got an unprecedented foot of snow two weeks ago, and now this. I made some exploratory reconnaissance runs in Daddy's Broke Bus yesterday, but the roads were pretty terrible, so we stuck to the yard. I got some cute photos of bird (sparrow?) tracks in the snow. Susie and I are going to head for the sledding hills on the golf course after a late, lazy breakfast.
You're so much better with the sentimental stuff than I am. I always feel so lame with the "yeah, you too" crap. You deserve much better. Here's to the New Normal!
[raises a glass of Fancy Ginger Ale]
And to you, amigo. Don't worry about the schmaltz, I bleed it for some reason
I don't deserve better, I got better than I deserved. Ho ho ho!!
Hey amigo, rough day here. No, not "that" kind of rough. Just that a lot of what I've been talking about came out in session today and I guess I could just use an arm around the shoulder. It helps just knowing you're there. And please, please, don't worry. It's just a bit of down, that's all. I'm glad to call you friend.
Was it the Mrs Owls stuff? Is it still pretty isolating? It may be small comfort to you now, but the very act of verbalizing it to the shrink probably helped you to answer some of your doubts, if only subconsciously. There's that teachers' adage about "the one who does the talking does the learning". The spousal estrangement is certainly not fun, but it's not killing us, not yet.
Arm, as requested. And even one of those "bro" hugs.
I don't know about you, but lately I've been experiencing that emotionlessness that people who are on psych meds say that they experience. All the ups and downs are gone, and the emotional limbo, while predictable and manageable, is a poor substitute for actual feelings. My keel is so even that I'm afraid it's going to freeze in that position. But when I write it out to you, I get a little catharsis, and the mopeyness subsides.
I hope you get the same.
I do, friend. I do. And thanks for the arm, as always. Yes, it's the home front. I'm actually stunned that it took me until last night to figure out that, consciously or unconsciously, she loathes the fact that I am happy. Because, of course, "I need to pay." Why this didn't click earlier is beyond me. But it raises an interesting, and pretty scary, issue. We both know that there is no way to "pay" that bill. I faced up to it. I own it. I have told her that my regret for hurting her is true and it is profound. Beyond that, there is no 'paying.' So the question is, when does she figure this out. And the frightening parallel to that is, will I/should I hold out until then, risking my health in the process.
So there's what's going on, and there's the catharsis too. Now, don't be afraid. I'm going to give you a hefty, Mexican-style abrazo.
**Abrazo**
What else do you think she wants, besides emotional restitution? What is second on her list, after making you pay? Find out what that is, and maybe you can give her that. It's not her first choice, but maybe eventually she will realize that she can live with her second choice. Corollary to "killing her with kindness". The main thing you CAN give her right now is selflessness. Don't be patronizing about it, but try to give her some of the other things on her list, the ones you CAN give. It could help.
I'm sorry to hear that. I remarked recently about the effect social isolation was having on me. I guess I keep coming back here, because these are my "friends" now.
What does the shrink say? Are you still going to sessions? I'd like to see us get a plan in place by this summer. Right now, with the semester in full swing, at least we're staying busy. I fear what the combination of idleness/boredom/loneliness will do one classes are over.
My best friend will be moving away in May. He and I have shared an office for 8 years. It was to his house that I fled when I was temporarily thrown out of this house last summer. His new gig will be 4 hours from here, close enough to visit once in a while, but far enough to kill they everyday-ness of the friendship.
I have enjoyed the wordplay immensely. Where else can we turn for that kind of sport? I appreciate the plaudit, but I can't hold a candle to you, Dok, Extemporanus. You guys are pros. I laughed to myself (again) the other day about "An Ark? Oh! Syndicalism." If people knew how we spent our time around here, they would have us all committed.
And thanks for bringing me back to the "Life Reeked with Joy" thread. I never tire of that. Good times.
Also, I was just thinking about our length of time so far. The old guys at the meetings are always saying "you newcomers always want 20 years of sobriety right away. You have to be patient." We're still in the early stages, even after all this time, which sounds like pablum, but it's true. New and difficult struggles still lay ahead. This is one of them.
6 months hasn't been long enough for me to undo my previous reputation. People are constantly telling me stories about some expensive Scotch they got as a gift, making hangover jokes on Mondays, etc. My boss showed me this picture last week, and said "you and Suzie should totally do this for Halloween. Yuk yuk." Pisses me off, until I realize that that's how they knew me, and that it just hasn't been long enough yet for them to form a new impression of me. So it goes.
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