California Will Also Teach Gay History Instead of Just American Wars

Gov. Jerry Brown signed SB 48 into law yesterday , which means that California schools must somehow squeeze gay history into its schools’ curriculum, which up until this point have followed the standard formula of 97% white men kicking ass, 2% Martin Luther King, Jr. and 1% bad things happening to America that encourage white men to kick additional ass. The Governor says he did this because he wants to teach students the “broad diversity of the human experience,” which honest, God-fearing people know is heathen-speak for MOLEST ALL THE CHILDRENZ.

This bill “mandates that the contributions of gays and lesbians in the state and the country be included in social science instruction and in textbooks.”

The state already requires schools to teach students about the contributions of some other minority groups, including black people and women. But until now, gay figures like Harvey Milk received little mention in state-approved textbooks.

For years, children have been able to grow up at peace, wondering, “Harvey Milk? Does he own the Wonka factory or something?” But now that every minority group that complains gets to be included in History (besides Native Americans, because, duh .) children are going to be very confused. And maybe they won’t hear both sides of the story.

“It’s a sad day for our republic when we have the government essentially telling people what they should think,” said Tim Donnelly, a Republican state assemblyman from San Bernadino. Mr. Donnelly said the law prohibited schools from presenting gays and lesbians “in anything other than a positive light, and I think that’s censorship right there.”

Tim Donnelly is very upset because this decision could mean that teachers will intentionally ignore that once-remembered time in history where all the gay people banded together and wiped out all the heteros, for sport, while listening to the "Original Broadway Cast Recording of Xanadu." Or worse, teachers will somehow transport themselves into their pupils' minds and perform heinous acts of molestation upon them, with their gay powers. This is just a disaster for American education, an institution that had been doing so well up until this point. [ NYT ]