“Tea Party Presidential Twitter debate” sounds like a) a terrible orgy of hollering wingnuts furiously flinging spelling errors around at each other like the clap going around a trailer park or b) something worthy of contenders for our nation’s highest office? The Tea Party candidates are going to show half-assed Twitter clown Barack Obama “how it is done” next Wednesday, by allowing the entire Internet to yell at them for a solid hour and a half using the handle @140townhall.
An Arizona Tea Party group — of course — is organizing it, and there will be a mysterious “moderator,” something we do not understand because the whole “point” of Twitter is that there is no higher-power moderator to mind-control everyone with something illiterate to type into the twat box. Kind of like how there is no God moderating Michele Bachmann’s delusional thought process.
Bachmann, Rick Santorum and Herman Cain are confirmed to participate. No word on whether Twitter president Newt Gingrich is in.
From Roll Call:
The 90-minute debate, which will begin at 3 p.m., will be conducted entirely via Twitter using the handle @140townhall. The public may submit questions, and the candidates may use as many 140-character tweets as they want to respond. They will also be able to post three-minute videos with opening and closing statements.
Dustin Stockton, a spokesman for TheTeaParty.net, said the organization came up with the idea about three months ago, several months after another tea party group, the Tea Party Express, announced it would co-host a traditional televised debate with CNN in September.
The candidates will respond to the questions simultaneously, eliminating the advantage typically enjoyed by first respondents in traditional debates, Stockton added.
Haha, who will be able to type in answers to Tea Partiers’ questions fastest, on Twitter? Michele Bachmann, or the rest of the Internet? [Roll Call/ 140townhall.com]
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Oh goody, a twat fest.
Better than a sausage party, I guess.
Not for Marcus Bachmann.
Slightly shorter title: "Tea Party Presidential Twit Debate"
Slightly shorter shorter title: "T Prty Prz Twt Db8"
Let's ALL drive by and see what happens when the poo starts flying.
How many tweets could a tea-twat twat,
If a tea-twat could twat tweets?
Will there be simultaneous translation into english?
Sorry. Only into Grassley.
That's a tough problem. Where would you find someone who speaks Teabaggish and is also literate?
Sir, I speak jive.
Opening question: A/S/L?
Follow up: You're not with Dateline NBC are you? (pics to follow)
14/m/FL, u?
Yet another reason not to get out of bed in the morning.
Note to self: stock up on beer, set the alarm clock, find food that can be eaten one handed.
That's good advice anytime.
Beer = food eaten one handed.
I have something that can be eaten one handed.
A good wife could do it with no hands.
You know Chris Rock's joke about why the bride always looks so happy, right?
Oooh! You're good!
Either way, it meets your requirements.
Know what you can do w/ NO hands?
This is EXACTLY how Ginni Thomas ended up drunk dialing Anita…
Her clit's THAT big?
Who is Rusty Humphreys and why does his name sound like some bizarre sex act you'd find in the Urban Dictionary?
Also, is that a nickname, or did his parents actually name their kid "Rusty"? I think that's a form of child abuse.
That's his real name. I believe his nickname is "Blumpkin" Humphreys.
Two Rusty Humphreys, one S.E. Cupp.
Those sound like odd devices that would be photographed by the CSI crew exactly where they were found, and then dusted for prints.
I think I saw a stripper once, named S.E. Cupp.
This S.E. Cupp is a real doctrinaire and bitchy cunt.
In other words, Ann Coulter w/o the Adam's Apple, or Michelle Malkin w/o the Ping-Pong talents.
What amazes me is S.E. Cunt is the same age as my oldest daughter, but had the privileged upbringing I could not give my kids. Yet she turned out to be such a rightwing tool, while my daughter questions authority, has compassionate for the disadvantaged and suffering, is politically left, and would never treat others the way this bitch does. On top of that, she is genuinely beautiful. Moral? Upper middle class privilege does not necessarily have better results than a poor single mother!!!!
And her cousin, Lotta Topp.
I read that as Pasty Humphreys, need better glasses.
Rusty Trombone and Sippy Cupp (star of two grrls-one Cupp?) on one stage twatting Amurka senseless. At least with the targeted audience, senseless is pretty much a given before they even fire up their PC's.
A "Rusty Humphrey" sounds like a third-rate mixed drink, probably something made with Southern Comfort.
A used syringe with which to shoot meth. Or, a metaphor for a used syringe, i.e., debilitating, mind-rotting right-wing rhetoric heard over a scratchy AM radio in a dilapidated Chrysler LeBaron.
like the clap going around a trailer park
That simile just gave me raging snark chub — marry me, Kirsten
That was some good snark writin', +1
Are twitterpix allowed?
No, as that equals a 1000 twats.
So according to that picture, Tina Fey is part of the Tea Party?
I was thinking that MTV's Kennedy had resurfaced.
Tina doesn't really have cupps.
I have a s.e. cupp, but I don't have rusty humphries. (Thank God!)
You can tell that lady's smart because she's wearing glasses.
(actually, she looks kind of cute, but there's no way I'm touching a teabagger)
She's been on Bill Maher's show, she certainly not an idiot as far as I remember… I mean, she's wrong, but she makes a lot more sense than your average congressman.
Since you've seen her and this is just a head shot, does E Cupp live up to her name?
A Gentleman never tells…
Her boobs are no where NEAR big enough to excuse/overpower/camouflage the things she says. She's one of those smart ass talking, eye rolling smart girl wannabes with really basic conservabitch talking points. I guess I am saying I do not care for her.
I saw her once on Maher's show and watched hopefully, thinking that maybe a liberal at the table would finally slap the smug-n-stupid look right off of her. Whoops, there were no liberals at the table.
"conservabitch"
I have got to remember that one.
"she makes a lot more sense than your average congressman"
so does my daughter and she just turned four.
And you know that fat fuck is a tough guy because he's wearing an Army sweatshirt.
Either that, or he lost all his money betting on college football.
He's got better things to do than serve in combat…
She used to be sort of reasonable (She wrote for Reason, so libertarian), but she has since hitched her wagon to the Glenn Beck Crazy Train. Still, probably fun in bed.
Reason, funded by the Kochtopus
From what I've been told, she's basically just dangling the librarian glasses, vaguely school-girl carrot in front of the rubes to milk cash out of them…
She can milk me for cash, if you know what I mean.
A conservative intellectual, not exactly Buckley with Bewbies, but smarter than any dozen of the foamers out there in conservapundit land. On a par with Brooks from the times, but with a little more edge.
She's also atheist, which is a plus. She won't blather on about Jeebus.
Is it proper to answer with more characters than brain cells?
If Weiner twitters his weiner will Marcus get a rise out of it?
Only if he does it in the forest and there's no one around.
Marcus will get a rise out of ANY weiner tweeted. Unless it's ttommyunger's, with all the warts and scabs (hey, HE said it first).
This should certainly elevate the debate — it's like Lincoln v. Douglas all over again — if they were both lobotomized and then forced to write their responses on the inside of a matchbook.
There you go makin' up history like a Palin. Matchbooks were invented by Joshua Pusey in 1889. Pusey! He must have had a tough time in high school, at least until a series of mysterious fires shut down the school.
Anyway, Lincoln couldn't have written his answers in a matchbook.
He and Douglas are both dead, too, but I don't see anyone nitpicking about that.
I'm going to edit the wikipedia page right now, to show the real truth.
Worked for W.
do any of these twits have anything more to say?
Let's see: tax breaks, reagan is god, obamacare bad, obama socialist.
that was less than 50 characters and I think I covered the entire spectrum of tea party "thought".
What about guns, gays, and Guatmelans?
Good, bad, bad. There you go.
Teabaggers, the gift that keeps on giving.
The 90-minute debate, which will begin at 3 p.m.
I'm assuming that's Eastern time? Which makes it a noontime debate for those of us on the West Coast. Remind me not to log onto Twitter then, so I don't lose my lunch…
wait – no Wolf Blitzer?
I'm waiting for the All Blingee Republican Debate. The candidate with the best blingee of an aborted fetus heckling Obama as a Communist would be the winner.
You made me laugh.
If you have never heard a bad right-wing radio program, try Rusty Humphries. His show is literally based on the most common talking points, with no real-world point of reference.
Wait, sorry, that's just like 'em all, ennit?
…and who is "S. E. Cupp?" Shouldn't there be two girls?
With A replublican talk radio guy? No, probably two guys.
There's a matching N.W. cup.
Two girls, one Cupp. We've seen this before.
Newt Gingrich already moved to Google+
Also, how does this "moderator" thing work? Is Rupert Murdoch going to hack into Twitter and erase all the inappropriate questions (and right now I'm guessing there will be a few)?
There will be if I can learn to use Twitter in time.
Just remember, if Chuck Grassley can do it so can you.
Just remember this handy common Twitter shorthand for when you need another tweet to finish your thought: "I can't possibly shorten this tweet, it will be in two batches."
can't = cnt
possibly = pssy
shorten = sht
tweet = twt
batches = btchs
They will surely understand.
Gold!
The non-ironically named S. E. Cupp is only appearing so she can walk around in a granny outfit, holding up a card to tell everyone which round it is.
Also: what do the initials "S. E." stand for? Wonkerati, it's all yours.
S.E. stands for Double D.
Metamarcsf, your p-ness is rising above -100. To Breitbart.tv, stat!
Since metamarcisf was banned there, it looks like RedNM has taken his place; (s)he was down to -122 last I noticed.
Surgically Enhanced
Win
Agreed.
Sexual Emetic
Just what we need to elevate the debate, a tweeting twits-and-twats twitter-fest.
Couldn't the participants just make one Tweet that says "LESS TAXES MOAR GUNZ AND NO SOSHULIZM" and repost it response to every question?
I don't see why not.
Shouldn't it be @absolutelynochancetowin ?
Haha, who will be able to type in answers to Tea Partiers’ questions fastest, on Twitter?
This will be even better than beauty pageant contestants explaining why math shouldn't be taught in schools.
~
That's easy, math taxes the brain and taxes are bad therefore taxed brains are socialist.
Why is the first thing that popped into my head upon reading this was 'Confederacy of Dunces'?
Twitter lacks the proper theology and geometry.
Because you are erudite, and a lover of great literature. Frankly, I've often thought "Confederacy of Dunces" whenever faced with yet another picture of teabaggers.
Because your valve immediately started closing?
Whats ur policy on big Nrg in da white house?
U bleve n evltion?
So we'll have the monkeys and the typewriters, and yet somehow, I don't see the complete works of Shakespeare coming out of this.
We'll be lucky if we can assemble a sonnet from the correctly-spelled words.
The Extremely Reduced Shakespeare Company.
"2B r !2B, is ?"
I don't even see "Do Not Remove This Tag Under Penalty Of Law" coming out of this.
Marcus Bachmann's favorite snack? The Hostess Twinkie
I suspect he may be more of a Ding Dong fan, meself.
~
Almond Joy, since it has nuts…
Or Mounds, since he doesn't.
Oh, I'm sure he doesn't discriminate to that degree. Any twinkie will do him just fine.
S. E-Cupp? I'm guessing B-Cupp. At best.
[PS: When I see a young lady wearing a tight "Guess" t-shirt I'm often tempted to.]
I'll break out my twat and participate. How about it, girls? Just for fun?
I'm with you, let's lube up our twats and go for broke.
I love Limeylizzie. She reminds of the old gal in the joke who wanted to join a biker gang. They asked her if she ever been picked up by the fuzz. No, says, but I been swung around by the tits a couple times.
Stay classy Edna
I made it a policy not to get my twat anywhere near a republican/teabagger/shitsack/dickhead.
I'll bring my twat and my e-cupps!
hell yeah!
Our nation's problems solved in 140 characters or less. That's gonna be some kind of awesome.
Tx cuts 4 rich. No blk in wht hse. #solved!
You can get a preview at Tea Farty – Re-tweeting the Tea Party's Hot Air at –
http://www.teafarty.com/
I'll be engaging my text-to-speech plug-in so that I can surround myself with the sweet sweet cacophony of this debate. Plus, what could be better that hearing the tweets of Bachmann, Pawlenty, Santorum, and all their supporters simultaneously rendered in the Stephen Hawking voice?
Just as a reminder – Twitter hurts my head. Twitter is no where near as much fun as going to the zoo and watch monkeys flinging shit.
This Tea Party Twitter Shitterfest will not be on my computer.
And the S.E. Cupp person looks to also have issues: http://www.redsecupp.com/
Fuckin' baggers have ruined the "sexy librarian" look for me, and that used to be one of my favorites!
Just look at Tina Fey to fix it.
The only thing to read on Twitter is comedians practicing their one-liners.
She does seem rather … fond of herself, doesn't she?
I shall now lie down on my side, and pour a mixture of vodka and lemon scented bleach into my right ear in an attempt to alleviate the pain caused me by how stupid my country has become.
Waste of vodka – the bleach in the ear will cause sufficient brain damage all on its own.
If she were DD. Cupp she'd have her own prime time show on Fox.
But then she would be (NSFW!!) Kimberly Kupps.
FYI: Modr8or=Chuck Grassley, natch.
Glenn Beck — he's unemployed!
I already can taste the bile collecting at the back of my throat just thinking about it.
Be of good cheer. This is going to be FUN! (I coincidentally have the day off work Wed., thus unfettered access to whatever Twitter is, assuming I can figure that out)
If Marshall McLuhan were alive he'd say,
Oh for crying out fucking loud! This bullshit has gotten out of fucking hand. Jesus Fucking Christ!
I'm just waiting for the Tea Party Chatroulette Presidential debate – which is the obvious ultimate destination on our moral and political downward spiral
Please join me in supporting clueless wingnut Governor Mary Failin this weekend:
"The power of prayer is a wonderful thing, and I would ask every Oklahoman to look to a greater power this weekend and ask for rain," Fallin said in a news release Thursday.
She stopped short on blaming the historic drought on Sharia Law, however.
Of course she can't blame Sharia Law, that would mean that God is ignoring the Constitution of Oklahoma, which He presumably helped write.
NB: If Oklahomans want some rain this weekend, they should just come on my family trip by the Hood Canal in WA.
Almost certain to rain, even in July!
She's cutting the line in front of Rick Perry — does she really think God won't notice?
Rick's god is his belly.
The Lord says:
“These people come near to me with their mouth
and honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
Their worship of me
is made up only of rules taught by men.
Therefore once more I will astound these people
with wonder upon wonder;
the wisdom of the wise will perish,
the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish.” Isaiah, ch. 29, vv. 13-14
I honestly don't understand these rain prayers. It's like they are trying to be spiteful, because to waste the state's time on such inane silliness can't be explained in any other way. I couldn't care less if Mary wanted to pray for rain or anything else for that matter, just leave the state out of it, por favor.
Needs more midget wrestling. Or bum fights. Yeah, definitely bum fights.
I wonder what idiot thought this would be a good idea. They might as well call it the Crash and Burn debate.
Hey, I've got an ARMY shirt. But then, I was actually IN the Army.
Maybe Rusty should wear a "SEAL Team 6" shirt. If has the balls. Which he probably does not.
It's on his website, but then you knew that, yes?
His father died in Vietnam, according to the Wik-uhpedia, whereas the bio on his Website says “He has become an expert in military affairs.” Might as well wear the fucking Medal of Honor, then, and then just hope you never meet Sal Giunta.
I have Saving Private Ryan on BLUE-RAY. That makes me a god damn three star general , soldier.
The wingnuts bitched because Obama played hoops with some Marines wearing a USMC t-shirt. "He didn't earn it!" they whined. My response to my USMC friends was this: "It's a fucking t-shirt, not the Navy Cross. Get over it." The Marines give me a t-shirt every so often and I thank them for it. I don't act like "I'm special" over it.
OT But the CEO of WSJ just resigned …come on Rupert your turn now.
Woah, YES!!!
Excuse me while I have this long-awaited orgasm.
Hopefully, the ex-CEO will roll over on him and TELL ALL!
This should go well.
I don't see what could go wrong.
Bite-size bullshit
s.e. cupp is maybe the most shameless panderer around. the banner of her website prominently displays a picture of her holding up a copy of atlas shrugged. that's like wearing a band's t-shirt to their concert, except wearing the t-shirt somehow makes you a lot of money and also the band is the shittiest fucking band ever.
Nickelback?
So….not only will have stupidity, but with the 140 character limit, we'll have condensed stupidity. This is the Idiocratcy Singularity.
No light will escape, so you might be right.
I would log on to twitter for the debate but there is enough disgusting racist crap all over the internet anyway, why bother?
Twitter being Twitter, you could just drive by and sandbag 'em. I'm sure the rest of the Twitterati plan to.
It's not like like they'll have anything new to say, will they? At best, it'll disguise their atrocious spelling.
I hate that bitch. See the glasses? She's a conservative "sophisticated intellectual."
She's a pretend atheist so she can write a book about how Xians are persecuted and have a gimmick to market it to wingers in the hope they'll buy it and carry it around and say "look. This atheist with glasses says it true–we're picked on.
Opportunistic bitch–lilke Malkin being the first Asian to write a book in praise of internment. I hate both of them.
That idiot Cupp is aiming to be the smarter Ann Coulter. All three of these women are nasty pieces of work.
OT, what's your position on Christina Failin-Bacon?
She's a very nice person and you poor people are just jealous. Maybe if you're parents had worked harder you could be rich too.
-literally a comment from one of her supporters on the gossip blog.
Doggie style, of course.
Come on, you have to admit that that was some low-hanging fruit.
Christina Failin-Bacon? She's just like her mom, Mattress Mary with a style consultant from Calliista Gingrich, judging by her hair and makeup. Mommy has hair like that, but daughter has way more neck. Mary "Betty Boob" Failin has to turn her body to look sideways. No neck. Like her head was fused directly onto her shoulders.
Vile, vile, right wing douches.
You can always count on a conservative to argue the wrong side of history.
Christians are persecuted minorities
Internment was justified
The Civil War was about states' rights
The founding fathers were evangelicals
Gay marriage is evil
The New Deal hurt the economy
Obama wasn't born in the US
Saddam had weapons of mass destruction
It's like a little revisionist cash cow.
Who is the lovely sexbot in that banner? The almost smirking lady one, not the coyly smiling because he's secretly happy about DADT repeal one.
Jaysus. And here I am still trying to figure out this "smoke signal" thing…
Will this be followed by the knocking rocks together/compulsive drooling/random non-language vocalization debate?
Arizona Tea Party and Town Hall – wow talk about don’t cross the conservative stream. I’m trying to think of an equivalent group on the left that can match this level of pure irresponsibility in service to dogma.
Shining Path, maybe… if you consider them to be "left".
OK – I'll be the first.
A tempest in a B-cupp?
Whose cucumber did Twitter fellate to be given so much mind space?
I mean, I always thought the point of Twitter was to spew meaningless jokes and reactions to celebrity deaths.
When did it become the premiere forum for what you would assume would be important debates on the future of the country?
Haha just kidding!
"Important debates"… I crack myself up. As if.
I thought that banner was a joke until I saw the names.
OK, wait wait, with S.E. (Cee) Cupp & Rusty Humphries?!?!?!?!?!HAAHAHAHAHAHA
I've never had a Rusty Cupp before, and I'm pretty sure I never want one.
This would be a lovely opportunity for Anonymous to have some fun.
"the candidates may use as many 140-character tweets as they want to respond."
This is a debate, right? Not just one person talking questions? Well, okay then.
I am not of the twitterati, but this sounds really really stupid. Isn't the whole point of Twitter to say what you want to say in 140 characters or less? If you can't maybe Twitter isn't the appropriate venue for whatever you are trying to communicate? Or is this done all the time on Twitter? Geez Louise.
Also too, the idea of boiling the complex issues facing this country down to blobs of 140 characters or less of typos, unintelligible shortcuts and contractions, and random characters from shift-top-row-of-the-keyboard just sounds stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Bah humbug. Dumbasses.
140 characters is more than enough to get across Teabagger theories.
What's going to make it a shitstorm of word salad is the simultaneous spewing of nonsense from everyone involved.
@140townhall how raiz hand on twitr 2 sho luv Jeebus & h8 evolushun?
T
Milady Cupp is sort of a Christine O'Donnell Jr, or a Sarah Palin Jr, Jr.
But she posed for Maxim, unlike the other two.
This looks like a job for a anonymous flood but they like me probably couldn't be bothered. Also they have opened a storefront near me I literally shuddered as i drove by. Funny I drive by a strip club no problem tea party offices and I feel like someone walked over my grave. I thought we were immune here in my liberal east coast haven.
I'm more disturbed by their names. SE Cupp? Rusty Humphries? Is his middle name Trombone?
Well, not exactly, but that's what he calls his dick.
"Federal records show it [teaparty.net] raised almost $500,000 in the months leading up to the 2010 midterm elections but made no donations to candidates."
I can see the grifting from my back porch.
Miss Army Thing on the Tea Party banner……a definite "friend of Marcus".
2 baggers 1 SE Cupp
What happened to a time that conversation had more then 140 characters?
Isn't 140 characters what should happen after 3 kids and 27 years of marriage?
I've been Tweeting for some time some time now to the wife.
To think I could have gotten rich from it, not laid, but rich.
Damn.
paid $5 for a piece of ass outside Fort Benning from a 50 year-old Grandma with a brace on her neck (I'd been in the Boonies for 9 weeks straight) but I don't think I could ever fuck a cunt as self-important and phony as Cupp. …Humphries would fapp about her incessantly if he could ever find his dick.
Never will so few words have made so little sense for so long a period of time.
That guy on the right . . . If we could read the whole thing . . . It says "Barmy," right?
Also like the Army jacket, like that weak-chinned whiner ever heard a shot fired in anger.
at least on twitter when "teh morans misspell know 1 will bat and I" ("" added for those who miss the snark)
This works in Herman Cain's favor, since he can't bothered to read anything longer than 3 pages.
Oh, goodness, a bargain basement version of Ann Coulter http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowldc/s-e-cupp-sa...
A virtual Town Hall with Twatted bumper sticker rants.
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