KARL ROVE IS DOING A SLOW-CLAP  2:02 pm July 15, 2011

Fox News Droid Compares News Corp To Companies That Were Hacked

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Mouth-breathing “Fox and Friends” commentator-of-the-day Bob Dilenschneider was roving around inside the decaying asbestos filling his skull cavity when he found this bizarre string of words to complain about all the media attention on the News Corp hacking scandal: “Citigroup, great bank. Bank of America, great bank. Are they getting the same kind of attention for hacking that took place less than a year ago that News Corp is getting today?” Yes, why ARE victims and criminals subjected to a different level of media scrutiny sometimes? That is very unfair!

Dildoschneider also explains that the “real issue” is hacking, because “we’ve got a serious hacking problem in this country” in almost the same breath that he says, “Murdoch, who owns it, has apologized, but some reason the public, the media keeps going over this again and again.” This is a good point, the very fact that this is a serious issue means that by definition we should be ignoring it and everyone just move on. Normally this is what the media is very good at!

Ugh, we hope it is not possible to grow eyeball tumors just from watching teevee segments that are so freakishly cancerous. [ThinkProgress]

 

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{ 249 comments }

glamourdammerung July 15, 2011 at 2:04 pm

Personal responsibility!

WordSaladNation July 15, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Do you know who else had a serious hacking problem in his country?

glamourdammerung July 15, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Idi Amin?

ALIVE! July 18, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Almost choked. Thank you, glamour-d.

nounverb911 July 15, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Marie Antoinette?

littlebigdaddy July 15, 2011 at 2:07 pm

John Wayne, before he died of lung cancer?

Cat_Damon July 15, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Admiral Akbar?

FidoMcCokefiend July 15, 2011 at 2:20 pm

It's a Hack!

Monsieur_Grumpe July 15, 2011 at 2:11 pm

My cat which is usually followed by a hairball.
I perfer this to watching FOX.

BTWBFDIMHO July 15, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Jesús?

b[redact]opple July 15, 2011 at 2:15 pm

That tequila guy with the sombrero?

sportshort July 15, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Hic. Somebody talking 'bout me?

horsedreamer_1 July 15, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Eazy-E?

Warpde July 15, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Serious problem. Very, very serious Bob.
And it takes a Hack such as you to to point it out.

MissTaken July 15, 2011 at 2:17 pm

The Marlboro Man?

flamingpdog July 15, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Jeffrey Dahmer?

FidoMcCokefiend July 15, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Jan Brewer?

metamarcisf July 15, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Robert DeNiro?

BornInATrailer July 15, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Full point for Taxi Driver reference.

Arishia July 15, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Hugh Grant?

SorosBot July 15, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Every single European king during the black plague?

FidoMcCokefiend July 15, 2011 at 2:24 pm

Lizzie Borden's parents?

ArmoredLibunatic July 15, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Motoko Kusanagi- wait, that's Japan. Why don't we talk about that instead?

Come here a minute July 15, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Gene Hackman?

horsedreamer_1 July 15, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Likewise, Will Smith.

Weenus299 July 15, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Shooter McGavin in a sand trap?

elviouslyqueer July 15, 2011 at 2:48 pm

King Henry VIII, with at least two of his wives, plus about half his court?

Tundra Grifter July 15, 2011 at 2:57 pm

John Wayne Gacey?

GOPCrusher July 15, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Marge Schott?

phlox✔ July 15, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Charles Krauthammer?

widestanceroman July 15, 2011 at 3:11 pm

John Bobbit?

Native_of_SL_UT July 15, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Fox and Friends? Hacks extraordinaire.

OneDollarJuana July 15, 2011 at 3:34 pm

Lizzie Borden?

Reagan Still Dead July 15, 2011 at 7:15 pm

Too soon!

Boredw/Gravitas July 15, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Rwanda?

Chet Kincaid July 15, 2011 at 5:11 pm

"Papa Doc" Duvalier?

Swampgas_Man July 15, 2011 at 6:05 pm

I've been to the pawn shop three times in the past two–

O, I thought you said hocking problem!

Pres[EXTERMINATE!!] July 15, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Kevin Mitnik?

Reagan Still Dead July 15, 2011 at 7:14 pm

Shaun Ryder…oh, I thought you wrote 'cracking.'

user-of-owls July 15, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Natural Gas Chupacabras…oops, I thought you said, 'fracking..

Reagan Still Dead July 15, 2011 at 9:34 pm

Keith Richards or Moe Howard…excuse me, did you say 'smacking problem?'

user-of-owls July 17, 2011 at 1:02 am

Haley Barbour…oh sorry, I thought you'd said, 'crackling problem.'

PristineODummy July 15, 2011 at 8:53 pm

Coughy McLungCancer?

snarkycomments July 15, 2011 at 9:37 pm

The Coal Miner's Daughter?

zhubajie July 17, 2011 at 6:26 am

John Wayne Gacy's deep freeze?

nounverb911 July 15, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Prince Al Waleed bin Talal is losing his patience with these putzes. The beheadings start at sunrise.

OkieDokieDog July 15, 2011 at 2:06 pm
FNMA July 15, 2011 at 2:06 pm

First time I ever saw Fox and Friends, I thought it was some kind of clever parody of a morning news show, something The Onion might do. Man, those people are seriously under-medicated.

GhostBuggy July 15, 2011 at 3:58 pm

That's the thing about this show. You always hear about Hannity and O'Reilly and the big hitters, but there's never any "guess what crazy/racist/awful thing they said on Fox and Friends yesterday" stories floating around (outside of Media Matters, I guess). But it is surely one of their worst, most toadying programs.

LesPaultard July 15, 2011 at 7:14 pm

I thought is was a cable version of Dumb, Dumber, and Dumberer.

Negropolis July 15, 2011 at 11:22 pm

Fox & Friends makes Morning Joe look good, and that's quite a feat.

FidoMcCokefiend July 15, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Replace Murdoch with Soros.

Replace News of the World with New York Times.

I'm sure that bastion of fair and balanced Doocy would still be pleading with all of us to simply move on and focus on important issues.

Video needs more Kilmeade.

GOPCrusher July 15, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Absolutely. The Yahoo comments boards this AM were lighting up with the screams that the entire plot to bring down Fox and the Murdoch Empire is funded completely by George Soros and supported by the Obama Administration in the continuing efforts to silence dissention.

hagajim July 15, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Dildoschneider is the worst kind of dildo…one which makes no sense, provides no pleasure and can't fit in any hole. The fact that these dumbasses are defending their own shenanigans isn't surprising, it just shows yet again, that Faux can't be considered a news organization because they have no ethical standards.

mormos July 15, 2011 at 3:06 pm

they should just change their name to "glorious news of the reich" and be done with it.

DustBowlBlues July 15, 2011 at 3:21 pm

The douche in question has the name for it, which gives them a big step in that direction. That, and their right wing distortion of so-called news.

Come here a minute July 15, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Also, this guy on the bus sounded like he was hacking up a lung — why isn't he the subject of intense media scrutiny? Why is it okay that everybody just wanted get away from the guy?

valgal2342 July 15, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Gawd I am loving this.

DashboardBuddha July 15, 2011 at 2:55 pm

me too…it almost makes up for my shitty week. Almost. What I'm afraid of though is that he'll weasel out of this.

Jukesgrrl July 16, 2011 at 3:12 am

In the US at least, since our Attorney General never met a power broker he could stand to prosecute, no matter how dire the crime. Oh, well, we don't want to look like we're picking on conservatives. Heaven forbid!

DustBowlBlues July 15, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Knowing the female version of Carrot Top is out on her ass is sweet, no? Anyone want to estimate how big a bitch she is?

Limeylizzie July 15, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Bigger than I am at my bitchiest.

nounverb911 July 15, 2011 at 2:08 pm

When does Palin play the victim card in this mess?

horsedreamer_1 July 15, 2011 at 2:17 pm

"Tonite, on van Susteren…"

elviouslyqueer July 15, 2011 at 2:50 pm

No no. That's the title of Todd's favorite porno.

V572 der Plaatz July 15, 2011 at 4:22 pm

Todd lives the dream! Every time lil' Gertie "comes" up to Wasilla.

GOPCrusher July 15, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Faux News Sunday with Chris Wallace.
For the first 45 minutes.
And the Fox Forum topic will be how this is further proof that the Communists want to destroy the Constitution.

axmxz July 15, 2011 at 2:09 pm

I hope Murdoch uses this defense strategy in court. "Sheesh, are you guys still on about this? I've already apologized!"

Oblios_Cap July 15, 2011 at 2:19 pm

That might work if he hires Cantor as his lawyer.

SayItWithWookies July 15, 2011 at 3:15 pm

"Criminalizing hacking will have a chilling effect on legitimate news gatherers everywhere!"

Biel_ze_Bubba July 15, 2011 at 8:59 pm

What's even worse … it's "job-killing".

Terry July 15, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Murdoch apologized, so why should the FBI look into his employees' hacking into the voice mail of 9/11 victims and survivors? This is yet another example of the liberal press and their lackeys in law enforcement attempting to dig up dirt on a fine man and the beacons of journalistic integrity that he owns.

(Honestly, Murdoch and his minions all should rot in hell.)

genxr July 15, 2011 at 2:41 pm

Do we have to point out again that there hasn't been a terrorist attack since 2000? Geez, these libeural libunatics just won't stop!

PsycWench July 15, 2011 at 2:45 pm

By definition, the person who apologizes was the victim (see Whittington, Harry) so of course Murdoch has established himself as the victim and of course we should not blame the victim. Not when the victim is affiliated with Fox, that is.

Sue4466 July 15, 2011 at 2:09 pm

We should focus on hacking, by ignoring News Corp's hacking. That's the best way to get to the bottom this hacking thing. Gotcha.

LetUsBray July 15, 2011 at 2:13 pm

That's been the Rethugs' strategy for dealing with election-tampering, after all

OkieDokieDog July 15, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Downfister is angry. .

LEaF ROOPeRT AL0Ne1!!!!!!

MinAgain July 15, 2011 at 2:46 pm

I think someone's in love.

Crank_Tango July 15, 2011 at 2:50 pm

he's got a new troll friend in here too…shitting on old posts of course.

glamourdammerung July 15, 2011 at 3:19 pm

Or yet another account.

Not_So_Much July 15, 2011 at 3:38 pm

Pretty full life, yes? Masturbating to goat pron and downfisting wonketeers from mom's basement. Surely they'll get a position of prominence in the new world order…

tribbzthesquidz July 15, 2011 at 3:57 pm

I haz two, count 'em 2! spankeez on my last 5 visitors today.
Imagine better commentz.

nounverb911 July 15, 2011 at 2:09 pm

What Chutzpah!

horsedreamer_1 July 15, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Choo, Choo! We're on the trolley to the Land of Make-Believe.

genxr July 15, 2011 at 2:42 pm

It says Choo-Choo-Chootzpa! And there's a picture of a train!

horsedreamer_1 July 15, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Rev. Lovejoy is not going to be happy with Ralph's conversion.

PristineODummy July 15, 2011 at 8:59 pm

That's pronounced "choot-spa," per MishMash BatShitKrayZMann.

KenLayIsAlive July 15, 2011 at 2:10 pm

This sniveling toady deserves a raise.

valgal2342 July 15, 2011 at 2:10 pm

Thanks Karma!

Gratuitous World July 15, 2011 at 2:11 pm

well said. when Dahmer apologized, everyone should've just let it go.

phlox✔ July 15, 2011 at 3:17 pm

If Dahmer was a Republican politician:
"I'm sorry that you misinterpreted my killing and eating your sons as you did. That was not my intent."

WhatTheHolyHeck July 15, 2011 at 3:22 pm

"I totally didn't eat that Laotian boy, so obviously I didn't murder and consume every young male I came across. I resent the implication. Typical gotcha media."

Negropolis July 15, 2011 at 11:24 pm

You have to fit something in about this being a hit-job by the drive-by, liberal, lamestream media or some similar shit response.

SorosBot July 15, 2011 at 3:38 pm

Mason should apologize, then we'll just let him free.

Geminisunmars July 15, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Jackie Mason? We should never free him.

edgydrifter July 15, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Yeah, why hasn't anyone apologized to Mohamed Atta? He died in the Trade Center on 9-11, too, you know.

horsedreamer_1 July 15, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Rashard Mendenhall will be vindicated.

Negropolis July 15, 2011 at 11:25 pm

Oh, this is good. This is very, very good.

MLite July 15, 2011 at 2:12 pm

I love how they talk about all of this as if they are not also owned by Rupert Murdoch (who has apologized, so why are we still talking about this?)

Sue4466 July 15, 2011 at 2:12 pm

If only Steve Doocy he had a teevee show where he could talk about the things the media isn't covering.

MissTaken July 15, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Are you implying that Steve Doocy's teevee show is actually part of the "media" that he says doesn't cover the important things he talks about on his teevee show?

You just blew my mind!

axmxz July 15, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Hackers don't violate personal records, hacking does. For guns, reverse. Freedom!

MissTaken July 15, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Sen Barton needs to apologize to News Corp for this trouble, just like he did to BP.

LouBristol July 15, 2011 at 2:25 pm

I just hope Obama doesn't use this as an excuse to impose a six-month moratorium on hacking 9/11 victims.

arihaya July 15, 2011 at 8:48 pm

uh he is a Representative not a Senator, yet

but with the mad horde that is Texas, he will soon find his way in the Senate faster than you can imagine

Jukesgrrl July 16, 2011 at 3:16 am

Or maybe governor when Rick Perry decides Jeebus has called him to the White House.

Goonemeritus July 15, 2011 at 2:14 pm

I think Fox news has a done excellent work on this very issue. When that Wiki leaks first came to prominence didn’t fox call for the death penalty. That would seem to be a fair and balanced solution in this case too.

freakishlywrong July 15, 2011 at 2:15 pm

“we’ve got a serious hacking problem in this country” . Yes. Yes we do. We also have Fux News in this country, Disenhdildo or whatever the fuck your name is.

JoshuaNorton July 15, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Of course, there are no discernable, lucid thoughts in their head. They just emit sounds that may or may not be words. Who knows?

GhostBuggy July 15, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Nothing goes in, words go out. You can't explain it!

Arishia July 15, 2011 at 2:16 pm

So, if Bradley Manning and Julian Assange say sorry, they can go home too?

DerrickWildcat July 15, 2011 at 2:16 pm

"CitiGroup: "A Great Bank!"

Kinda catchy.

horsedreamer_1 July 15, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Like an SNL fake ad.

Oblios_Cap July 15, 2011 at 2:18 pm

I remember a time, in the distant past, when one individual would not have been allowed to own as much of the Lamestream Media as Uncle Rupert does. I wonder what changed that?

HistoriCat July 15, 2011 at 2:36 pm

"I wonder what changed that?"

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

DustBowlBlues July 15, 2011 at 3:26 pm

And a big chunk of that from the Gaylords in Oklahoma.

SorosBot July 15, 2011 at 3:35 pm

The Telecommunications Act of 1996.

comrad_darkness July 15, 2011 at 10:26 pm

Ah, the good old Contract On America days.

powersuit July 15, 2011 at 2:18 pm

For a moment I thought Fox was in a 12-step program, at the point where they admit they have a problem. But then apparently Dildonker had a really hard week, you know, with everybody ACCUSING Fox and Rupert and all, and, what the hell, it's all the lamestream media's fault anyhow. So WHAT"S THE PROBLEM? THEY"RE VICTIMS TOO!

metamarcisf July 15, 2011 at 2:19 pm

At least there were no terrorist attacks during the Bush administration.

Oblios_Cap July 15, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Bush (D)?

horsedreamer_1 July 15, 2011 at 2:55 pm

I'm surprised that hasn't happened yet.

Screen-cap this, so when it does, you can sue FOX for theft of intellectual property.

Biel_ze_Bubba July 15, 2011 at 9:03 pm

Well, hardly any.

horsedreamer_1 July 15, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Who's going to be the first to bring up Dan Rather's botched TANG story, in order to say, "Both sides do it"? Hannity? Anderson Cooper?

FALSE EQUIVALENCE IS MY FAVOURITE THEATRE TROUPE.

DerrickWildcat July 15, 2011 at 2:20 pm

The guy is right. My neighbor Jeff told me he was hacked and they did some stuff to his computer. Have any of you heard about Jeff being hacked before I just told you?
I doubt it.
Why is the media spending so much time on NewsCorp and not Jeff?

MissTaken July 15, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Poor Jeff!

This is the tragedy we should all be focusing on.

JimmyCarlBlack July 15, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Today we are all Jeff.

snarkycomments July 15, 2011 at 9:41 pm

To be fair, Fox News did warn him not to visit those web sites.

prommie July 15, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Its very difficult to believe that there is so little credible sociological research showing a corelation between stupidity and conservatism. In the end, what we call "intelligence," is the ability to detect and create appropriate analogies. "A is analogous to B, therefore, I can assume my experience with B will be useful in predicting what is going to happen with A." Conservatives, they can't seem to draw a proper analogy to save their lives.

FNMA July 15, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Conservatives are special.

axmxz July 15, 2011 at 3:02 pm

I doubt it's a matter of IQ. It's a matter of "death anxiety; system instability; dogmatism; intolerance of ambiguity, low openness to experience, and uncertainty; need for order, closure, and negative integrative complexity; and fear of threat and loss of self-esteem" (Stankov 2009, Intelligence 37, p 294). It's a whole syndrome.

Also, one has to distinguish between true social conservatives (God guns and country), teatards (guns and country), and libertarians (guns sex drugs and rock-n-roll). Their motivations and views of the world are very different, even if they do all hate Democrats.

On an anecdotal level, one of my most intelligent friends, a chemistry Ph.D., is a fierce libertarian with total visceral hatred for all manner of social safety nets. He thinks all social assistance needs to be private and based on charity, generalizing from his own behavior: he puts in several hours a week and a portion of his for-now-meager income into charity, ergo charity can bear the burden of the whole system. His astronomical intelligence in scientific matters doesn't automatically give him a good grip on human psychology, group behavior, or economics.

Geminisunmars July 15, 2011 at 3:52 pm

Thanks for the analysis. I'm always trying to understand how we can understand things so differently.

axmxz July 15, 2011 at 4:03 pm

It's not actually a difficult position to understand. It makes sense on some visceral level: everyone knows federal government is wasteful (insert rant about post office lines), and charity gives money directly where it's needed. Why not cut out the middleman and just have people finance each other *directly* instead of paying for a huge inefficient system of health care oversight?

Trouble is, this sounds good in theory, but in practice it's unworkable. Even if people voluntarily gave enough money to support government health care programs, how does one coordinate payouts from these charitable donations? Who decides who gets how much for what procedure? Who sets reimbursement rates? Etc.

prommie July 15, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Your friend Spock's problem is he is trying to use logic to understand and assess the behavior of humans in complex social situations. Its "logical" to his Vulcan mind that poor people must be lazy, that private charity must be more efficient, blah blah blah with the whole litany of fiercely-held conservative myths. "Logic" unsupported by objective experimental data is responsible for so many myths. The bahavior of humans in complex social systems is not logical. Aspergery techies tend to go bull-moose Randian libertarian, despite their high intelligence, because the way their minds are wired makes them blind to this aspect of human nature. As with Spock, they expect logic and reason to enter into arenas where it rarely does (and they think this situation is gonna change, too, that they can just yell at people to act logically). And thus, you get your high-intelligence conservative. This makes sense to me, does it to you?

prommie July 15, 2011 at 4:52 pm

Your leaving out the tragedy of the commons, freeloaders, and game theory. Its way more than a matter of practical distribution. It won't work for the same reason communism didn't work (in the sense no society has ever achieved that true communist state of utopian anarchy that was envisioned), it won't work because people just don't act that way.

Geminisunmars July 15, 2011 at 3:51 pm

They couldn't draw a bath, even if you handed them a Sharpie.

Chet Kincaid July 15, 2011 at 4:35 pm

That's probably true of FOX viewers, but what you saw in that video up there was just rushed, incompetent, half-assed hackery, and the guy knows it. FOX just throws shit up there and hopes some of it sticks.

prommie July 15, 2011 at 4:54 pm

Its really stupid, its just dumbass judgment, to sit and think up that weak-ass pathetic spin and actually believe anyone really will be stupid enough to beleive it.

Swampgas_Man July 15, 2011 at 6:11 pm

It's called "experience".

Biel_ze_Bubba July 15, 2011 at 9:09 pm

"Its very difficult to believe that there is so little credible sociological research showing a corelation between stupidity and conservatism."

University faculty, college students, graduate students, Ph.D. scientists, and Nobel Prize winners are notorious for their liberal tendencies. Conservatards struggle to come up with any explanation that's not the obvious one.

Mahousu July 15, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Since apparently these guys don't have to make any kind of sense at all, why do they even bother trying to form sentences in English? Why not just grunt and moan at the screen for several minutes? Maybe the stray yip or two, just to liven things up a little.

elviouslyqueer July 15, 2011 at 3:08 pm

And flinging poo. Never forget the flinging poo!

Geminisunmars July 15, 2011 at 3:53 pm

That's pretty much what I've heard when I've attempted to watch Fox.

flamingpdog July 15, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Papantonio said on the Ed radio show this morning that the long-time (20-25 year) Murdoch lawyers are jumping ship left and right. Sounds like the gig is up. Screw 'em!

jaytingle July 15, 2011 at 2:41 pm

Given that Murdoch, a billionaire in command of a global communications empire, is in deep, dark trouble one would assume that the lawyers would be holding fast by his side. That's how they make their living.

Geminisunmars July 15, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Maybe they advised him that all that hacking was perfectly legal. You know, like John Yoo and Baybee over that torture silliness.

widestanceroman July 15, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Murdoch just wants his life [of ill-gotten wealth] back so he can create more jobs [before he becomes a sperm bank in striped pajamas]!!111!!

horsedreamer_1 July 15, 2011 at 2:29 pm

There you go, bringing the Holocaust into this. Typical libunatic.

widestanceroman July 15, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Moar Big left lies–that movie was really about Hope Camps (Obamaschwitz, Barackenwald, etc.) and was originally titled 'Hope Kampf.'

genxr July 15, 2011 at 2:44 pm

There was a mime version, too, I believe.

Doktor Zoom July 15, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Rupert Murdoch in The Day the Assclown Cried

MissTaken July 15, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Seriously people. As the Supreme Court has established, corporations are individuals and hacking them is like raping a poor little white girl. Hacking an actual person, on the other hand, that's just News Corp getting to the stories that the media ignores which is activity covered by freedom of the press.

Corporations = important
People = collateral damage

horsedreamer_1 July 15, 2011 at 2:57 pm

Scalia, Alito, & Thomas are fighting it out to see who gets to bring you on as a clerk.

prommie July 15, 2011 at 4:57 pm

Why, if we gave actual "people" first amendment rights to free speach, that would dilute the first amendment rights of the corporations.

Nopantsmcgee July 15, 2011 at 2:23 pm

How long before Faux shows a picture of Murdock with the caption, "Rupert Murdock, Democrat" under it?

June_Cleaver2.0 July 15, 2011 at 5:48 pm

Now THAT'S funny!

widestanceroman July 15, 2011 at 2:24 pm

I love the smell of fox sweat in the morning.

sportshort July 15, 2011 at 2:25 pm

This almost godless need to "know things" is getting out of hand. I remember when we didn't need to have "truth" and "compassion". Lord, I long for the days when a trip to the store didn't mean researching how many ways every manufacturer on the planet was out to kill you. I would wish to return to the good days of keeping everything hidden until it festers and rots and causes more problems, but ones I would never have to deal with because I am already dead. Can I get an Amen?

Geminisunmars July 15, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Omen.

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 15, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Murdoch needs to be more like Cheney and get the victims to apologize. Then this would all go away.

Slim_Pickins July 15, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Well the one that's dead probably can't.

SorosBot July 15, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Yes, but her family members should apologize. Hell, News of the World did them a favor, making them think their murdered daughter was really still alive for a time, that made them happy and hopeful!

fuckbreitbart July 15, 2011 at 2:27 pm

"Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury: Why should I be on trial for rape, when so many other women are out there, who I haven't raped, but who have been raped by other rapists?"

OneYieldRegular July 15, 2011 at 2:27 pm

One thing's for sure – this certainly helps underscore the sincerity of Murdoch's apology to the murdered girl's relatives.

Slim_Pickins July 15, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Fox and Amigos needs to be sideswiped by the clue bus.

SorosBot July 15, 2011 at 2:30 pm

All those people hacked by News Corp. should follow the lead of the dude Cheney shot and apologize to Rupert Murdoch.

Sharkey July 15, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Bob makes a good point. If you don't want to get hacked, don't buy a phone!

Thurman Munster IV July 15, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Tomorrow on Fox and Friends: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ML1OZCHixR0

Apes discover weapons

greenpatches July 15, 2011 at 2:34 pm

LEAVE MURDOCH ALONE, HE'S A HUMAN.

Doktor Zoom July 15, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.

Nostrildamus July 15, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Improbable

elviouslyqueer July 15, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Inconceivable!

GunToting[Redacted] July 15, 2011 at 3:18 pm

Undefeatable?

widestanceroman July 15, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Megarefudiateable?

Lionel[redacted]Esq July 15, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Proof?

Barrelhse July 15, 2011 at 5:24 pm

What's so great about being a human?

Wadisay July 15, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Dilenschneider is just mailing this in. It isn't serious Fux News commentary until someone compares Murdoch with a holocost survivor.

MinAgain July 15, 2011 at 2:35 pm

See, it's okay to be a conscienceless corporate bastard, so long as you apologize afterwards.

Request for bailout money in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

FakaktaSouth July 15, 2011 at 2:37 pm

I just don't get it. I watch that shit and it is such obvious propaganda speak, the way he confuses hacking with being hacked, and the way Steve Doocy (?) – who AGAIN makes me hope for hell – wraps it all up in a "meh, no biggie, it's ooooold news," never mentioning that dead girl, OR 9/11, not saying anything of value, but doing it in that WAY THAT THEY DO STUFF THAT MAKES ME CRAZY. I don't see how this is appealing to ANYONE – and I walk amongst them everyday. It makes me want to move to Seattle and work at an Inn.

Weenus299 July 15, 2011 at 2:50 pm

It's like a kids' show, except you have a barely repressible urge to pull a Goodfellas on the characters.

fuflans July 15, 2011 at 3:26 pm

exactly as you said.

DustBowlBlues July 15, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Downfisty is at work. I got you back to 1.

In the other hand, Johnathan Alter is on MSNBC now, which is a good, good think. And he is smart.

Oblios_Cap July 15, 2011 at 2:37 pm

If Rupert sacfrifices a virgin to Dick CheneyBaal he'll probably get off without too much effort.

MinAgain July 15, 2011 at 2:45 pm

What do you mean, "if"?

DustBowlBlues July 15, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Is that why Brooksie's hair is such a fright? Baal scared her shitless?

DashboardBuddha July 15, 2011 at 3:46 pm

I dunno. I bet it takes a case of viagra and several gallons of virgin's blood to get Rupe off.

widestanceroman July 15, 2011 at 3:56 pm

He can only get off surgically.

Texan_Bulldog July 15, 2011 at 2:39 pm

Rupert libel!!!1!!!!

Seriously, I'm surprised it was even mentioned on Fox. They have an admirable way of totally ignoring facts and living in their own little fantastic bubble.

GOPCrusher July 15, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Meanwhile, a blonde girl is still missing in Aruba.

DustBowlBlues July 15, 2011 at 3:40 pm

It's the Republithug way.

Jukesgrrl July 16, 2011 at 3:23 am

Spring break is over, so they didn't have enough wet T-shirt contests to tsk about (and show twenty minutes of footage).

BlueStateLibel July 15, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Yes, remember this strategy when that state trooper pulls you over for going 90 mph and blowing the breathilizer. Just apologize, and then tell him (in no uncertain terms) to "move on, this is old news."

Doktor Zoom July 15, 2011 at 2:45 pm

You'd think that aliens had landed in New Jersey…AGAIN!

Thank god–sounds like Fox is about to blow the lid off the YoyoDyne Conspiracy!

FNMA July 15, 2011 at 2:47 pm

It's John BigbooTAY!

PristineODummy July 15, 2011 at 9:19 pm

I was kinda hoping for John Smallberries, myself.

Doktor Zoom July 16, 2011 at 12:07 am

Where are we going?

PLANET TEN!!!

When?

REAL SOON!!!!

not that Dewey July 15, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Chapter 4: In Which Steve Doocy Gets a Nose Job.

PristineODummy July 15, 2011 at 9:19 pm

He's got to evict it gently from Rupert's anus.

Redhead July 15, 2011 at 2:46 pm

You know, those brown people who did 9/11, well, terrorists blowing people up is a big deal. People get blown up in LOTS of other countries. But we don't focus on ANY of those victims as much as we focus on the brown people who blew other people up in 9/11. But yes, blowing people up is a big issue, and we should focus on that bigger issue and on solving it instead of focusing on the people who blew people up. Cause, you know, one of the terrorists apologized for that one bombing 15 years ago, so we should just all move on, really. Why are you criticizing the people who did 9/11 so much? I mean really. You stupid liberal media don't criticize any of the blown up victims NEARLY as much as you're criticizing the guys who blew up the 9/11 victims!

And anyway, I TOTALLY know EVERYTHING about media. I was in PR for years which means it was my job to try to lie to the media and spin things to make my client look favorable.

DahBoner July 15, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Fox News Rule #1: If the perp of a crime is a Republican, blame the victim!

Papa_Uniform July 15, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Yep, it's official. Dilenschneider gets the Dumbestfuckoftheday Award.

DaSandman July 15, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Well, gee guys, I just don't know…

Could it be because you are all a bunch of right wing extremist criminals?

That would be my first guess.

DashboardBuddha July 15, 2011 at 2:55 pm

And Orwell's O'Brien is reading this and say, 'hey, now…ease up there Bob".

DashboardBuddha July 15, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Actually, the video is pretty impressive. Yes, he's spewing word salad, but his articulation is great for someone talking with his mouth full of Murdoch cock.

Tundra Grifter July 15, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Hackers hack.

You just can't explain it.

DustBowlBlues July 15, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Like the tides.

Tundra Grifter July 15, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Happy to report: It appears the tide is turning…

DerrickWildcat July 15, 2011 at 3:03 pm

The real victim here is Adolph Hitler…oh, and his Great Grandson, Rupert Hitler.

Guppy06 July 15, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Hell yes, we should hang and waterboard anybody who breaks into…

… we did what now?

Saying Fox News is intellectually honest is like saying Citi and BoA are great banks.

bflrtsplk July 15, 2011 at 3:23 pm

I had a serious problem with hacking a couple years back, but Robitussin and Jack Daniels cured it. Jack's an OK fellow long as you know how to communicate with him.

widestanceroman July 15, 2011 at 3:24 pm

The poor man has apologized already–which was very white of him to do.

SayItWithWookies July 15, 2011 at 3:25 pm

FOX News: We invade your privacy, destroy evidence, fuck with the grieving, lie, cheat and steal, make excuses, minimize our evil, bribe our way to access, and come up with imaginary boogeymen, you decide.

sati_demise July 15, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Yes, why ARE victims and criminals subjected to a different level of media scrutiny sometimes?

Is this a koan?

fuflans July 15, 2011 at 3:27 pm

i like how he's complaining about the excess of coverage of the story he's covering.

north_of_moscow July 15, 2011 at 3:31 pm

"Caylee Anthony: Great girl. But enough already. Hasn't her poor mother suffered enough?"

DustBowlBlues July 15, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Maybe now Rebekah Brooks will have time to have her hair done.

DashboardBuddha July 15, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Oh…that was Rebekah Brooks? It thought it was Carrottop.

Barrelhse July 15, 2011 at 5:28 pm

With a Bic, hopefully.

MissTaken July 15, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Doocy's right! The media should be spending their time on important issues like Obama's birth certificate, hot white girls who go missing, Pippa Middleton's sex life, and Miley Cyrus showing off her tattoo.

DustBowlBlues July 15, 2011 at 3:43 pm

WTF? I have a new follower, and I think he is a winger. You know who you are. If you're a freak, then tell me. If you are, forget DBB exists, got it?

Poindexter718 July 15, 2011 at 3:47 pm

I wonder if Dilenschneider thinks Casey Anthony was subject to too much scrutiny relative to that of her kid?
And by the way, what's a flak doing on the news critiquing the media? I suppose I might be interested in what this portly gasbag has to say about NewsCorp's PR effort (assuming he's not their paid flak, which would be REALLY unseemly), but a PR dude commenting on the media? Please.

widestanceroman July 15, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Just like our grand old party, a simple, "He lost his way." should suffice, even after the childrens' bodies are found.

LiveToServeYa July 15, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Yes, why doesn't someone feel sorry for those civilization-destroying bastards at Citi and BofA? 2008, NEVAH FORGIT!

mrblifil July 15, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Methinks the "piling on" took place in the green room later…and then moved to Doocy's dressing room.

Limeylizzie July 15, 2011 at 4:11 pm

A close friend of mine works for Bob Dilenschneider and he is so vile and so freakishly anti-gay that she has a journal of every insanely bigotted utterance , so that when she quits/gets fired because he thinks she is a lesbian-she ain't- she can sue the big and tall pants off him.

Nothingisamiss July 15, 2011 at 4:53 pm

Lizzy, I hope you help calm her so she doesn't lose her soul.

alaninthecastro July 15, 2011 at 4:12 pm

The "dilenschneider," as students of medieval sexuality (and, here at Wonkette, aren't we all?) well know, was a particularly unpleasant form of dildo, carved out of wood, with radiating ridges that, though meant to induce pleasure, more often induced internal bleeding. Now banned in most countries, the dilenschneider has enjoyed something of a resurgence among Tea Party members (and orifices!), who will pretend to enjoy anything the government frowns upon.

Tundra Grifter July 15, 2011 at 4:12 pm

I love Doocy's defense: "All of the people got fired [no they didn't!]; 99% of whom had nothing to do with it."

That's a defense?

Sometime back a poster here said he was going into the smallest room in his house to take a Doocy. Better than Santorum.

PS: Where did that "decade ago" lie come from?

Chet Kincaid July 15, 2011 at 4:17 pm

Emily Litella's got nothing on this guy.

GOPCrusher July 15, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Dow Jones CEO, Murdoch lieutenant, Hinton quits

Link

KeepFnThatChicken July 15, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Dilenschneider, PR flack, speaking of Fox's audience:

"These are the drones you were looking for."

Slim_Pickins July 15, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Fox thinks rich white people are always victims.

JustPixelz July 15, 2011 at 4:57 pm

We can easily get to the bottom of if and how News Corp staff broke our laws. Just waterboard every employee … 181 times. Any objections?

Barrelhse July 15, 2011 at 5:19 pm

Les Hinton (pronounced "Lez") has resigned as head of Dow Jones/ WSJ- cool!

Pres[EXTERMINATE!!] July 15, 2011 at 6:10 pm

Needz moar "Tot Mom" harpies.

Fox n Fiends July 15, 2011 at 6:26 pm

Lets hack Doocy into small burnable bits

franco_pinyon July 15, 2011 at 8:22 pm

Yes! Why is the media beating this NewsCorp horse to death after, what, an entire week of new disclosures? Why aren't they pursuing breaking news and important issues like Obama's birth certificate?

Soylent Green July 15, 2011 at 8:36 pm

Yeah. What kind of bug is up Britain's butt, anyway?

ttommyunger July 15, 2011 at 10:50 pm

Jeez, so the Homicide Investigation and ensuing Coroner's Inquest I went through when I shot those guys in Missouri could have been avoided if I'd only apologized? Who knew?

Negropolis July 15, 2011 at 11:30 pm

Someone please tell me that the scientist/surgeon in the Nightmare Before Christmas was based on Rupert Murdoch.

e_z July 16, 2011 at 1:40 am

"Mistakes were made"

Move along folks, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain…

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi July 16, 2011 at 2:16 pm

10 years of deceiving the public about 11 SEP 01

when the walls come tumblin' tumblin'
when the walls come crumblin' down

Quayle2012_KNOT July 16, 2011 at 4:24 pm

Perhaps Dilenscneider needs to be defined, a la Santorum. Maybe "A tool for the quick removal of dog shit from prominent public places or persons." Any other ideas?

Sassomatic July 17, 2011 at 6:42 am

Think of all the trouble that could have been avoided for the last ten years of bin Laden had simply apologized. We all could have just moved on to more important things.

axmxz July 15, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Sounds about right.

To be fair, I strongly suspect that once you discount high-intelligence libertarian optimists, the IQ of the rest of the conservatives will, in fact, be at about room temperature. But then again, one can make the same argument about liberals: take out the latte-sipping professors and you're left with salt-of-the-earth union workers.

It'll be interesting to see how these very different aspects of the conservative movement resolve themselves in the next few election cycles. Honestly, I think Obama can eventually peel off the thinkers. He's Vulcan himself; he knows how to talk to his own kind.

Gainsbourg69 July 15, 2011 at 10:18 pm

These intelligent Libertarians are so smart yet so fragile.

axmxz July 15, 2011 at 4:58 pm

Exactly, which is why I mentioned group behavior and psychology. There's a metric ton of reasons why the government is the best candidate for the job, even if the overall pool of candidates is underwhelming. "Democracy is the worst form of government except for all those others that have been tried." Etc.

prommie July 15, 2011 at 5:04 pm

There is also the sociopath element; the ones who know conservatism is all bullshit, and who just happily lie for their own ends.

LesPaultard July 15, 2011 at 7:21 pm

This guy did some interesting research on the "authoritarian" mind.

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