Michele Bachmann went on Fox News for the third time this week to “not talk about her gay husband” and instead give her predictably ludicrous viewpoint that nothing will happen to the U.S. credit rating in a default because “we have money to pay it” in whatever way she thinks one pays for good credit ratings without paying off debt. Then she lectures the president for having a lot of “choot-spa,” because Michele has only ever heard of Jews, she has never actually heard Jews. Oh wait, and did she get the meaning wrong, too?
“The president doesn’t want to have to be confronted with priorities in spending, because he has a lot of chutzpah.” We are not at all actual Yiddish experts, but Google search seems to suggest that “chutzpah” is not used to describe someone who has giant avoidance issues. Rather, it usually means the opposite in either its negative or positive connotations. Oh well, everything else about Michele and Marcus “tiny dancer” Bachmann live in Opposite Land too. [Politico]
{ 295 comments }
That cunt.
That's not how you pronounce "schmuck."
Speaking of 'schmuck'. Check out the Ishtar video at this link:
http://www.theawl.com/2011/07/woman-says-word-wro...
Now, now… save that word for those who deserve it… Ann Coulter
at best Bachman is a shmeggegie shiksa.
I was going to say. What a "pootz." She's a mesh shoe gunner shick saw.
LOL!
chunt?
I was thinking "koont," but that sounds a bit too close to a word too often used among her values voters.
She needs a SHUNT in her brain, to drain off the crazy.
"The sky is about to fall" Did she get that from her husband, Marcus, aka "chickenhawk little"
How does she pronounce "AIPAC"?
Ch-ching.
Beat me to it!
With an R in front and a T at the end.
Not a "G" in front?
AFLAC, of course. The a and i are silent, silly.
What a PUTZ!
You mean POOTZ!
Geez, get it write.
Pootz (spelled PUTZ) is a relief pitcher for the D'Backs, which is purportedly a Major League baseball team.
We're SCHTUPPED if she ever gets elected.
schtupped with a strap on
(I don't think she knows that there is any other way to do it)
I remember when no one would have used that word- of course, no one would have said Fuck or shit or prick either. Or the "c" word which I have never said or written.
Eats choots and poots.
Word salad- dressed heavily with lies – but at least it's in complete sentences.
Marcus is a humusexual.
I heard he was goy.
I'd give you a hog for that. No, wait, a hug. Hag?? Any ways, brilliant.
NEWSFLASH: Queen Goy doesn't know how to pronounce Yiddish words!
i am wondering why she tried this word.
or how she even knew it existed.
Neither does his wife, evidently.
She saw a tv commercial where MC Hammer said you can get a car loan with bad credit or no credit, no problem!
Then why can't we run the government like they do in MC Hammer's world?
We need a constitutional amendment requiring Congress to wear parachute pants.
Sometimes, called "genie" pants, which would mean you want SHARIAH LAW enshrined in our nation's founding document.
How does she pronounce "My husband is a "faygala"?
I haven't heard faygala in years!!!!
Marcus.
What? She's Jewish? Who knew?
I'll say it again: haven't the Jews suffered enough?
Nah, a shiska.
I'm sure she'll come out with a convoluted explanation about why she pronounced it properly and used it in the right context any moment now.
Cue the changes to the Hebrewkedia in 3 … 2…
That's how Jewish Protestants from Minnesota say it, donchaknow.
The Cohen Brothers prolly did write the character of "Michele Bachmann" as the lead for an extended, unannounced mockumentary.
That's the first rational explanation I've heard for her existence. (Clever of the Coen brothers to camouflage their handiwork with the mispronounciation trick.)
I wonder when they'll pull back the curtains.
'Shoot Spa' is what Michele calls the rifle range.
Also what Sarah Palin calls Todd's favorite massage parlors.
That shiksa is makin' me meshuginnah.
ahhh…you beat me to it.
I thought you were supposed to use "meshuginnah" when it comes right before the noun. In this case, Shelly is making you meshugah, not meshuginnah.
Eh, but what do I know — go ask a Jew.
Meshugana Bachmann.
So meshugana translates to "crazy eyes?"
Bad haircut.
Right now Bachman-ites are changing wikepedia entries about choots-pah to conform it to their dear leader's pronunciation.
You be the goy!
Schmatta: Rags to riches to
fags,er.. rags.I can't wait till Bachmann talks about Phuket, Thailand.
That's foreign, who cares. Michelle's only concern is saving our great cuntry.
The dumbass would pronounce it : Puh Huckette Thayland.
Marcus may know too much about it!
folks, c'mon – you shouldn't make fun of her just because she's willfully ignorant and thinks she should be president of the united states. that is so totally mean!
In her defense, she only wants to be president of 40 states or so.
You must all be sexists!
How much of it is willful ignorance and how much is just Michy being Michy? There's some things I'm sure she's aware of and ignoring, Marcus' sexual orientation, some basic tenets of Christianity, some basic science facts, but a lot of the ignorance is really just stupidity. We are talking someone bouncing around the coolish side of room temperature on the intelligence scale on her best day. Coupled with a heapin' helpin' of stone cold crazy and there you go, a serious (for the moment until she implodes noisily) contender for the republican presidential nomination in 2012.
Still … in a parallel, more rational universe, someone with One-L's combination of stupidity, ignorance, and delusions of grandeur would be getting treatment at a mental health facility.
I've been committed for a lot less.
No, we're making fun of her because she's married to the biggest pansy in the tri-state area, who's already planning the most fabulous truck-stop campaign evah! Gloryholehlulia!!!
“meshugenah” is the word that describes her best. If only she knew what it means.
I'd just like to hear her try to say it.
What. The. Fuckzpah?
Big ups to you for that one.
A sheynem dank!
Oy, such a schmozlle..Go schtupp yourself, Shels..
She can kish mir en tuchas.
Not me- She better keep her keppeleh away from my tuchas!!!
So wait, when did everyone start taking this nutcase seriously? Like, she was just all, "Hey CNN, here I am, running for president! Take me seriously!" and they were all like "Der da der, okay, missum we shore will yessum!" WHAT THE FUCK
It's because Sarah Palin is no longer interesting to them. Michele Bachmann actually changes up the crazy smack she says on a regular basis. Sarah Palin just says the same four things over and over again.
If Bachmann or Palin looked like Golda Meir, they wouldn't get 20 seconds on TV, especially on Fox. They are batshit rightwing crazy but easy on the eyes. 'Nuff said.
Precisely. This wigged-out, made up GOP fembot is what passes for MILF (or in this case, CILF) over there.
And I'll just go on record that there is no "I" in the ILF here for yours truly. It should be Congresswoman I would really be grateful someone else would fuck, so maybe she would shut the fuck up, but CILSEWFSMSWSTFU doesn't really roll off the tongue.
This is the type of hussy you see at the local sports bar when you accidentally wander in, get her back to the room, and realize she's packed her own rope to hogtie you with and candles to drizzle all over your nuts.
What's the name of that bar?
So how do you explain that hideous, scrawny blonde megaskank, Coulter?
They interviewed her about the debt ceiling on NPR on Wednesday. Just because why not.
Who knows why the "News" vultures would take a shine to her. Because her boobs are bigger than Mitt's? Because she's entranced them with her crazy-eyes like a snake hypnotizing a chicken?
Meshuggah shiksa is meshuggah.
Needz moar TruckNutzPah
Cut her a little slack. Jews aren't even allowed in MN-06.
True Story!
I had a glossy brochure from the city of Stillwater, MN that was assembled for the purpose of selling the city to businesses and home owners. One of the many facts that it contained was that Stillwater was 97% white.
And the other 3% have slight tans.
I wish I didn't believe that, but I do. Sadly, I'm not even really surprised.
Better goy than gay!
This facockta momser shiksa should take her goyische kopf and smack it against a wall until it starts working again. Oy gevalt.
Where do I go to donate to her campaign?
Awesome.
Her hair looks nice, though.
What? It's important to her, I'm sure.
seriously, she knows how to dress and do hair and make-up.
then again, she has a live in dresser.
Finally, the mystery of Marcus is revealed.
I know, not much of a mystery.
Not much of a mystery, eh? I read somewhere he buys all of her clothes. I could google it and shit, but it would be useless as I still have not learned how to put a link in my posts in the nice red font and all…
Seriously, this woman has a lot of gal!
And she'd like your gelt!
Yeah, what a nerf!
It's spelled "gaul", my friend. lol
So, she made a slight faux pas. Or, as she would call it, "fox paws".
Toochee!
Or as we say here in the South…
a faaaaaawwwwwww paaaaaaaawwwww
Although it didn't make Fox pause, not even for an instant.
Marcus wants to know if they make rainbow yarmulkes. Preferably with cute little tassles or pom poms or something.
Oh, yes, Yarmulkes come in every color-I have one that is a slice of watermelon(I mean crocheted like that- I don't actually wear a slice of Watermelon- yet- in services)
I really, really love that idea.
They was a gay/Judaica shop in Squirrel Hill, but, alas it closed.
She has a lot of shitz-pah.
Does this mean that Marcus is circumcised?
Where's Marcus' Bris Certificate?
Ewwwwwww.
At the thought of Marcus penis, not the bris. You rock out with your cock out, my streamlined hunk-a-Jews.
Only Mitch McConnell knows for certain.
I'd love to see that stupid crazy ass debate Debby Wasserman-Schultz. Also,too I wonder if she's a holocaust denier
Holocaust deniers seize on minute historical details in order to build an elaborate set of smokescreens and false claims about the reality of the Final Solution. They are devious liars. Michele Bachmann is just stupid–she'd be far more likely to be convinced by a Holocaust denier than to actually be one.
Obviously. Marcus has her convinced that he's straight.
No doubt she denies a lot of other selected slices of reality (climate, economics, immigration, etc.) … the Holocaust is just another candidate for the list, if it somehow doesn't fit into her fantasy world.
Franken should have fun with this.
Not to mention Jon Stewart.
oh oh oh i can't wait.
He'll be all over it like a schmear on a bagel.
"chit spa" = Minnesota health club where you go to meet recovering ex-gay gambling addicts?
That fuggin' yenta needs to shut her pie hole.
You know who ELSE was Jewish and from Minnesota?
It ain't me, babe.
Robert Allen Zimmerman?
Bob Dylan?
Al Franken?
Mingberg the Merchant?
The guy Franken finally defeated? Oh yeah, Norm Coleman. How quickly we forget sore losers.
And the guy before that, Paul Wellstone. And then the guy he beat Rudy Boschwitz. WTF, Minnesota elects nothing but Jews to the senate.
They think Jews are smart. Isn't it disgusting how they vote based on stereotypes?
The Coen Brothers, Thomas Friedman and Al Franken nd they were all in high school together in St. Louis Park ( sometimes referred to as St. Jewish Park)
And look how they turned out! Such nice boys!
What went wrong with Friedman?
Garrison Keilberg?
Jesse Ventura…um…stein?
The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Nussbaum?
I cannot wait for the cash-in album "Let's Go Klezmer".
Tonight were going to party like its 5759!
Tom Servo?
Senators Boschwitz and Wellstone. In a state that could elect them and Al franken- how do they have Crazyeyes??
Rabbi Inkfistberg?
Next round at the Side Track Tap is on me!
Paul Westerberg? (honestly don't know, internets inconclusive)
Golda Meir
A Muslin with chutzpah?
hmmm… my google translation says Obama has شجاعة
Stupid chuz is stupid.
I'd love to help correct her if I could decide whether to coach her to start as if with "hurt' or "hurl" — the two words are squabbling with one another which one I should use on her — excuse me, when explaining to her– oh forget it I'll just probably end up hocking a loogie on her instead.
But Obama said he went to 57 states to see dead corpsemen. You never hear that in the lamestream media.
Communist!
Well, honestly, who would visit all 57 states just to see live corpsemen?
Pass the manischewitz its shiksa time.
Just as well. It's no more Miller Time in Minnesota.
Blood libel!
So she doesn't know how to say Japanese words…big deal.
In my old office, a young lawyer used the words "quid pro quo" and one of my lovely co-workers said " Stop using that Jew talk".
Fuckin' moonspeak.
Tiny Dancer Marcus Bachmann likes to count the headlice on the highway.
Pull me closer, Tony Danza
The girl with colitis goes by.
'Scuze me while I kiss this guy!
She's got electric boots, a mohair suit, you know I read it a magazine…
'Scuse me, while I kiss this guy…
It's a cross between hilarious and sad that you have a -91p rating thanks to intensedebate aggregating your scores between breitfart.tv and wonkette.
Sounded like she said that Barry has a "chupa,"which is Spanish for "suck it." Isn't that what he's telling all Republicans?
(See? Learnin' non-American languages has its benefits).
Fine her 100 Ameros!
If you're a nice young man, Marcus will meet you later out back at the choot-spa where you can get all steaming and naked and think about how much you want to have sex with your … wife.
Oy…
Watch out, or Marcus will slide something up your poop-chute-spah.
And the President has a big dick. She knows it, but she won't say it.
She *wishes* she knew it for sure…
It's twue!
To be fair, we west coasters aren't very knowledgeable about your charming and quaint east coast verbiage! (INSERT INSULTING TONE)
Kiss my tuchus, you alte makhsheyfe. And tell your futz of a hubby he's a shtik drek.
Oy, nothing but bobkes out of this tsatskale's mouth.
Wow. You're good!
DId we recently talk about the meanings of tsatskale here or was it in a class at y synagogue?
You go to synagogue at the Y?
I can't wait until December when she makes does her obligatory tribute to "The Jew Christmas, Chanaka."
Oh you mean the great holiday of Chaka Khan?
And she'll play some carols from one of her favorite artists, Chanuka Khan.
Just like my bubbe used to say it. She makes me Vander Plotz
Weird — I always associated that type of mispronunciation with people who read.
"because Michele has only ever heard of Jews…"
What she's heard of them is that they killed Jeebus. Plus she also learned at her church that the Pope is the antichrist .
He isn't?
I mean, if there's any candidate for being the antichrist, it's Ratzi the Nazi.
I'm waiting for the Fundies to realize that it was actually Romans who nailed Christ to the cross. Then, not only are the Italians/Romans the Christ killers but that the Pope is based in Rome, too….. Boycott spagetti-os immediately!
What — You want logic?
God, that scared me because I'm a Lutheran. But her church is a whole different Synod. So, she'll be going to Hell, so there is that.
The Rev. Jesse Jackson has been teaching her about Jewish people, customs and catchphrases and such. Just wait until the next time she has to discuss New York City.
God only knows what she'll inflict on 'Hymie.'
You think Michelle has been close enough to any black man for him to each her anything at all?
In conformity to my inflexible pole, er, policy, of not watching or listening to anything this moran says unless and until she's actually nominated to represent the TeaOP in next year's presidential race, I will pass on this opportunity to listen to her mangle the tongue of my foreskin, er, fore-fathers.
Which language, by the way, my parents only spoke when they wanted to hide something from me, thus causing me tsouris as I grew up.
That said, I have to mention that I don't like the current wave of scapegoating Cantor. I don't like him, but it gives him more stature than he deserves.
When the person in question actually is the filthy weasel who is culpable for the current disaster, well friend, I think you have to take the descriptor 'scapegoat' out of the lineup.
"Filthy weasel" – yes, that works. Verbalize it to "filthyweaseling" and we have a winner.
No question he's a lying, conniving, demagogue. I'm just not sure what advantage our side gains by pinning the blame on him. I say keep it broad, keep laying it at the door of the entire f*^#ing Republican Party, so the public and the administration doesn't lose sight of the fact that Cantor's only the current bad-cop in a good-cop/bad-cop charade.
I thought we were just bagging on Cantor because he's a whiny-assed titty baby.
Filthyweaseling. Ah, to be there when a meme is born.
As to focusing on individuals, as opposed to a collectivity, would I think be helpful in the exploitation of the suicidal divisions within their ranks. I am actually becoming mildly, very mildly, optimistic that they will revert to form, i.e., a circular firing squad. With a little help, they very well may rend themselves to pieces before the next election.
Gorsh! My first meme! [Blushing].
Cantor- A shandeh for der Yidden
The only time her pole is inflexible is when he is stuffing it up a gayz ass – for conversion.
I'm not sure how this fits into a "pray away teh ghey" meme, but I'm sure with the right amount of santorum, anything will fit in there.
Wasn't it just yesterday she was going on about how we can't spend money we don't have? Now, according to her, we have all this money that we can use to pay up?
I've heard of Republican double – speak (see: Mittens), but most of the time they wait a couple of days or so before doing a 180…
They execute more u-turns than cops in 1980s teevee shows.
Michelle is due to go speeding over the top of a hill, land hard, and bottom out her vehicle soon.
It's "CH" as in CHristian.
Or "CHateful" and "CHarpy."
Now look at what you dizzy children did. Google's English-Yiddish channel is crashed.
In fairness, that is how the Scandi-Jews of Minn. pronounce it. And at their seders they eat Lutefeltefisk.
Choot-spa is dipshitese for black balls. Lookitup.
In a related story, Bachmann accused the Obama administration of "hyperbowl."
Or Irritable Bowl?
Quit harping at her. For all intensive purposes, this is a mute point irregardless of what you say!
And I could care less!
Stephen Fry would like to have a word with you.
(Full essay here. )
Mind you, I think Michele calls for mockery–and since none of us are writing grumpy letters to the editor of the Times, Mr. Fry is not scolding us.
Thank you, Doktor! That was wun'r'ful!
I'll bet that you are a lot like me: I miss William Safire terribly.
So, is he an apologist for Lou Sarah? (But that was splendid. Thanks for sharing.)
Actually, evaluating her on Fry's standards allows for a more incisive critique of Palin–it's not that she occasionally misstates things or has poor grammar; rather, she does to English what the Blend-Tec Q Series does to ordinary matter.
…and that our national debt has reached cappa-city
She was speaking retardicly.
Typical. Libunatics hate people whose verbal development stopped when they were two years old. You people make me sick.
[Yup! I'm a Meme Thief!]
Snif! I'm so…proud…
The royalty checks are gonna start pouring in! Take my advice and don't blow the whole $1.03 at once!
Do you know who else was a meme thief?
All of us who live 4 blocks away from the assfucking that is good news for John McCain, although it was an important part of our history.
The Ox.
But she was a tax lawyer, which she says means she understands finances. Of course, the tax lawyers I know I wouldn't trust to do my taxes–and neither would they. Because it's not the same as a CPA. You'd think she'd know that. But then you'd think she'd know her husband was gay.
Michele Bachmann, the GOP's smartypants.
Tax lawyer with a law degree from Oral Roberts University.
So, she probably doesn't understand the tax code either.
She has a fidoucheiary responsibility to her constchooents.
This video is as unexpectedly funny as that baby panda sneezing. Choot Spa. HA!
Idiot.
I had not seen that yet. Thank you for mentioning it.
Everything Michele needs to know about Jews she learned from the Book of Revelation.
Everything Michele needs to know about Jews she learned from the
Book of RevelationsProtocols Of The Elders Of Zion.There, fixed it for ya!
Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic: Michele Bachmann is neither sane nor smart. Discuss.
No discussion needed. You pretty much said it all.
Yes. Next topic.
Like buttah.
Maybe Sarah Palin and her Star of David pendant could give her diction lessons.
This just shows that Michele is a polyglotomizer — she can rape an idea in multiple languages.
Even so, her husband had to admit she’s found wanting in his ideals for a rapacious
homohomynatrixi have to be glad for that distraction b/c the other crap that was coming out of her mouth makes the (absurdist) camus text i am memorizing appear to describe a sensible world.
and in that absurdist world i would like to see us default just for the bachmann schadenfreude that we would experience while losing our homes, eating our pets and sending some set of unfortunates to newly revived gas chambers.
Michele, im hatimtoon haya tippa, ata hayita okianoos!
Putz
'Choot-spa' like 'Michele Botch-mann'?
Michele also denied that her Bubula schtupped a butch, but meshugana, goyim and now has smegma on his schlong.
Figured it would be Santorum, not Smegma.
Oy Vey.
Oy vey, she smells like gefilte fish.
Gotta say the dress and the 'doo look a little Jewish?
She sure hates stimulus.
Be quiet, you awful chunt.
I wanna hear her read the word "Hors d'oeuvre."
Please let her win the GOP nomination!
Please, please, pretty please?!?1
I felt as if there was a great disturbance in the Schwartz, as if suddenly Hasidic Jews everywhere all smacked themselves in the forehead, yelling "gevalt!" and were suddenly silenced.
Marry me!
Here, in front of everyone?
Can a goy be a shanda? Can I get a ruling from my Jew homies?
I wonder how much Fox News spends on ball-gags for all those pitiful humans just off-camera in the studio? Maybe they have her in a sound proof booth which would probably be cheaper in the long run. OMFG teh stoopid!!1!
I'm not saying that I want her to discuss the finer points of US foreign policy toward African countries like Niger, I'm just saying that she can if she wants to. Preferably while on teevee.
She could look it up in her Funk & Wagnalls.
You know, it takes a lot of balls to accuse Obama of using scare tactics, when that's all the republicans have done ever since, at all least, 9-11.
See, she could have said "a lot of balls" if she didn't know how to say chutzpah.
At least she didn't call him a schwartzer.
Ha!
You know who else couldn't pronounce "chutzpah?"
Buckwheat?
WIN!
She then went to the deli and asked for a bologna and american cheese on white with mayo
When you listen to her, it's hard to imagine that not only is she a lawyer but a tax lawyer. Then it dawns on you that her law degree is from Oral Roberts University.
My very favorite Hebrafarian is suspiciously silent on this development.
I see your Nukeyuler and raise you a Shootzpah.
Is our nations learning?
Obama gave us Chope and Change!
Let me lay some genuine Yiddish on this gal. Her entire campaign comes down to only one word:Mishigas! And she's Meshugeneh!
and by the time her "cam-pain" staff finish looking that one up, hopefully the election will be over!
I believe she used the correct pronunciation as cited in "The Goys of Yiddish."
Yeah but does Obama feel the desire to avoid confrontation in his kishkes?
Oy, vey. And I suppose it's CHAN-NOOKAH while we're at it. She's the eppi-tome of stoopi-diddy.
I realize it's Minnesota and all, but didn't she go to LAW school? Surely, there Jews in law school?
OK, but Marcus can pronounce Schmuck; you betcha!
Oy vey what a dumb cunt. And what is with the excessively long nails? She looks like a mall rat.
Allright, already! Michele, you Fetummult goy Balabusta THIS is how it's done:
"Oy, the Chutzpah of that Nudnik President! I'm so Verklempt I could Plotz. He should stop Noodgeing us with his Mischegoss Socialist shtik and just resign already Nu?
Ohhhhh, reverb – @ :19 where she retreats in another direction, flashbacks of Palin's Couric Bailout-Healthcare-Umbrella-of-Job-Creation answer hit me in the face.
Why do these ladies keep competing for the same image as whack-job mother's of 5 and batshit JoAnne-Six-Pack gutteral lawmakers?
Her husband loves it in the Poop Chutzpah.
Did she mean patricide?
There is so much irony here I don't know where to begin. A no doubt vehement Israel supporter, she has no knowledge of actual Jewish people, many of whom live in NYC, a city whose liberal politics and support of gay rights she disparages, despite pretending to be heartbroken about 9/11. Teh hipocrozeez, it never ceases to amaze. Oy.
Shorter Bachmann:
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
It's ironic that the most notable thing about this completely batshit clip is this woman's unique chitzpa.
This woman's a regular Sarah Palin, isn't she?
Can't we just let her run for president of Real America, so that she can leave the rest of us the fuck alone, already?
Yiddish Libel, y'all!
“Choot-spa.” Is that like a high colonic, or a bidet?
The shicksa is fertummelt
Marcus and Michele Explain Marriage:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-w7QAEWudQ
Next thing you know, she'll be wearing a big ol' Star of David like what's her name.
Where's the video of Obama mispronouncing Corpsman? That was F'in hilarious because he's supposed to be a genius but he's really a cunt, I mean cult of personality.
Already deployed in the Budget Game thread! Cross our fingers!
Saw that. Called and raised. Just call us the Hopey Hopertons!
It's a moveable feast.
Thrilla in Wassila
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