our flourishing economy

America About To Lose Its Fancy Credit Card

Because of many reasons including “the nation cannot even agree to print more money,” the United States is in danger of losing its fancy AAA credit rating from Moody’s, the investing service that decides what countries and businesses have good credit. (Moody’s failed to predict the housing collapse and current financial meltdown, so who knows why we are listening to them today.)

Bloomberg reports:

Moody’s Investors Service raised the pressure on U.S. lawmakers to increase the government’s $14.3 trillion debt limit by placing the nation’s credit rating under review for a downgrade.

The U.S., rated Aaa since 1917, was put on review for the first time since 1996 on concern the debt threshold won’t be raised in time to prevent a missed interest or principal payment on outstanding bonds and notes, even though the risk remains low.

This is so serious, you guys! Barack Obama is even going to make the Republicans in Congress do a gay sleepover with him at Camp David, so everybody can act serious! [Bloomberg]

About the author

Wonkette Jr., everybody! Hooray!

View all articles by Wonkette Jr.
What Others Are Reading

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here with a few helpful links to ease your transition to Disqus - Claiming Old Accounts - Claiming Your ID Comments - Turning off Disqus Notifications. And, as always, remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Barb

    Lindsey Graham isn't invited to the gay sleepover? He's been pitching a tent for the other guys forever.

    • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

      He would only come if he could bunk with Joe and John.

      HAM BISCUITS.

    • SorosBot

      Marcus Bachmann asked his wife if he could go.

      • Barb

        Did you see Jerry Seinfeld and Jon Steward, ripping Marcus apart last night? When they said that Marcus is so gay that he called "Top Gun" "that volleyball movie" I lost it.

        • SorosBot

          Not yet; I'll have to watch that tonight (no cable, so I watch the Daily Show online).

          • Barb

            I'm hoping to get some music online soon. Spotify is launching today and I'm hoping to get connected.

  • Come here a minute

    I hope our new non-platinum credit card at least comes with a decent rewards program.

    • widestanceroman

      Nothing beats a $10 gift card you earned by charging $10,000 on cakes we like.

      • Grief_Lessons

        Mmmmm, musturd.

      • http://tonguepunch.insanejournal.com/ Andrew Drinker

        Ooo, we got a gift card? Great! We can afford all 3-Ketchups and Cerail for you and Kids!

        • mayor_quimby

          3 kinds of ketchup? What do you mean? Anything other than Heinz is shiite – and don't suggest that Hunts or Van de Kamp stuff, totally un-American.
          I plan to punish my kids by making them eat Hunts while I dip my fries in Heinz right in front of 'em. Tough love.

    • AJWjr.

      Air miles only redeemable on AF1 or Marine1, sadly.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Guessing Cantor getting moody won't help with the Moody.

  • tihond

    Obama will just have to do what anyone does when they have trouble making rent… He trim the CD collection and maybe sell some of the Library of Congress at the used bookstore. How much do you think a pawn shop would offer for an F-16?

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Turn off the air conditioning in the Capitol. Sweat the little rodents into submission.

      • nounverb911

        Lock the bathrooms too.

      • widestanceroman

        The smell alone would give Lady Cantor the vapors.

    • mayor_quimby

      I know Pakistan would simply kill for a few F-16's. Taiwan wants F-22 Raptors and will pay out the ass for them.

  • hagajim

    So the U.S. is now being downgraded. Fittingly, it ties in with our moving to second world status. Welcome to the long, not-so-slow decline in Merika!

  • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

    Great. GOP would rather put Uncle Sam's FICO score in the shitter than act like grown ups.

    I hope they put Cantor in the room next door so he can hear The President and First Lady going at it until the sun comes up. Fucker won't get any sleep, will get up terrified, and hopefully come to his senses.

    • AJWjr.

      This is good news for Ben Stein and freescore.com!

    • GOPCrusher

      Well, according to people like Bachmann, Ron Paul, and Louie Gohmert, the tales of impending doom that would be created by America defaulting on it's loans are just a scare tactic by the White House.
      So, don't worry. Be happy!

  • horsedreamer_1

    What's in our wallet?

    Other than an out-dated condom from 1997, nothing.

    • Sparky_McGruff

      I'd guess there's an expired health insurance card from when we still had a decent job, and maybe even a metro ticket with $0.55. Is the blockbuster card still in there or did we throw it away yet?

      • horsedreamer_1

        For whatever reason, I always have a DC Metro Card in my wallet, so, you're right. But, no, I don't live in DC.

        • mumbly_joe

          I swear, it's like we're the same person or something.

        • Sparky_McGruff

          I was kind of thinking of the "national wallet"; but I don't think there's much difference these days for most of us.

          Except for the Koch Brothers. They have blackmail photos of Eric Cantor in their wallets. Of course, their wallets are made from the scrotums of Republican house members.

    • Doktor Zoom

      There's also a scrap of paper with what looks like a phone number on it, but America is damned if it remembers who the hell that is. Is that a "9" or a "7"?

      • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

        It's a 9. Why haven't you called?! Typical asshole country.

  • SorosBot

    Well then, the US should get Moody's to improve their credit rating just like Goldman Sachs, Lehman Brothers, and all the megabanks did, by paying them for a good rating.

    Seriously, why does anyone give a shit what this bribe-happy agency says?

    • Barb

      Did you ever see the 20/20 report on the B.B.B.? They gave Chef Wolfgang Puck an "F" rating. He refuses to pay them for an "A" rating. You have to pay to get a good rating. They gave an A plus rating to the skinhead, neo-Nazi organization Stormfront. I guess they paid, eh?

      • horsedreamer_1

        So, was John Stossel in favour of this, or opposed?

        Toss-up.

      • SorosBot

        It's so clearly a racket, it's ridiculous how credulously people treat these credit agencies. A good rating means a company has paid up; that's it.

      • Fare la Volpe

        It's not blackmail; it's business.

        Same mentality as the mob.

    • MissTaken

      How ratings agencies have avoided RICO charges all these years is beyond me. They run the biggest racket out there.

      • WhatTheHolyHeck

        Considering the rating requirements contribute to the corporate drive for excessive profiteering, I couldn't agree more. Companies that take even a small hit to their profits in order to pay their people better are penalized with a lowered credit rating and have to pay more on their debt. It's sick. They are one of the fundamental flaws in our economy.

        • WhatTheHolyHeck

          Wow, that was fast, wee trollie. Nice to know you're not idealistic, just a plain old douchebag.

          Do you push kids off swings in the playground too?

        • GOPCrusher

          Same with the Stock Market. Amazing how a company's stock value always seems to go up when lay offs are announced.

    • MightySix

      The spousal unit works in banking risk management and constantly calls bullshit on the ratings agencies, especially after they gave a big stamp of approval back on the mortgage backed securities.

    • zhubajie

      Because the Reptilans actually in Congress aren't that smart.

  • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

    Does this mean we're going to have to get one of those shitty "secured" credit cards with the $300 credit line?

    • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

      Hey, if it wasn't for one of those "shitty" secured cards, how could I have ever recovered my credit rating long enough to completely fuck it up again?

  • Doktor Zoom

    No problem, guys. We can always get a payday loan down at the check cashing place, and then, once we hit the lottery, we can pay it all back. Also, if we need a little extra, we can sell our blood plasma.

    • widestanceroman

      And by that time, there'll be a (R) in the White House again and deficits won' t matter.

      • ttommyunger

        …again.

    • tihond

      Biden can cash in all of our change at the Coinstar.

      • Doktor Zoom

        you know, if we all just emptied those jars of pennies on top of the dresser, we could pay for at least a few hours of the wars….

    • mayor_quimby

      Do you live in my neighborhood?? There's a TitleMax across the street from the Western Union, but not a fuckin' bank to be seen.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Today, we are all college freshman in the third week of the first term.

    • tihond

      Today, we are all Libby Hoeler.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Why is this the first I am hearing of this? She went to my state's flagship campus, after all.

        Also, why was one of the top Google hits for her name a discussion of her on a Ben Folds fan messageboard?

    • SorosBot

      The Capital cafeteria is serving nothing but Ramen.

    • http://tonguepunch.insanejournal.com/ Andrew Drinker

      Yeah, but it was worth it for this sweet free t-shirt with the Citibank logo! And matching frisbee!

  • jus_wonderin

    No snark.
    China is not happy.
    We better not piss off our primary lender.

    • DashboardBuddha

      I was pretty surprised by this chart
      http://www.ritholtz.com/blog/2011/03/who-does-the

      It turns out that we 'mericans owe most of that money to ourselves.

    • flamingpdog

      Maybe China'll do us a favor and repossess the Capitol building and evict all the residents.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Posssible silver lining: Chinese hackers taking down GOP and teabagger websites.

    • zhubajie

      China is a civilization of gamblers and this is probably a bad bet. :-(

  • freakishlywrong

    S'ok. American Express investor services downgraded me in 2008 and I'm still here. (By "downgraded" I mean they shot my interest rate up to 28%). They are no longer what's in my wallet..

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      They only want to lend you money when you don't need to be borrowing money.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    do a gay sleepover with him at Camp David

    "Camp" David –*Gah,* it sounds so old school — isn't it about time they got with the 21st century? 'Camp' >> "CAMPUS".. and in lieu of "David"… well I'm sure Capital One will be happy to become the new sponsor in keeping with all our bastardized ball parks, concert pavilions and other locales for "beer summit" hubs of activity.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Capital One Executive Lodge & Spa at Catoctin Mountain Brought to You by Marriott?

      • horsedreamer_1

        Also, found this, on Wikipedia entry for Camp David:

        First known as Hi-Catoctin,…

        So, this was America's first Hostel International hostelling site? & have any Presidents or other lodgers gotten athlete's foot, or worse, after staying & using the communal showers?

        • http://tonguepunch.insanejournal.com/ Andrew Drinker

          No but that trickster Nixon used to try to piss on other people in the communal showers.

          • horsedreamer_1

            Of course he'd be into Golden Showers. He was from the Golden State.

          • http://www.wonkette.com Pres[EXTERMINATE!!]

            When he wasn't talking to the ghosts of Jack Kennedy and "Frank" Roosevelt down by the putting green, that is.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Coca-Cola Presents: The 2011 Wells Fargo Budgetpalooza at Siemens PresidentDome!

      • horsedreamer_1

        So, Ken Starr is going to be there?

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    "(Moody’s failed to predict the housing collapse and current financial meltdown, so who knows why we are listening to them today.)"
    This.

    Since when do corporations hold sway over the entire US gover… oh. Right.

    I'm having a Moody Moment here.

  • widestanceroman

    Troll damage undone, ya'll.

  • arihaya

    our beloved Grifting Witch of the North said that we only need to Retreat and Reload..

    yeah the last time she said that some of our Congresswoman met a Glock

    • James Michael Curley

      Ol' Sarah better get on the bus for 2012. That face is going to look quite saggy in four years and be classified as a WMD Botox dump by then.

      • Callyson

        She'll need the name of Michele Bachmann's plastic surgeon. Can't wait for the bitchslapping when Bachmann Turner Overdrive refuses to divulge that secret…

  • bagofmice

    The US is pretty much becoming the Soviet Union.

    Think about it. We have a decade long occupation of Afghanistan, nuclear weapons, a capitol that is rigged for "the party", with a guy named Karl talking about a "permanent majority", our own version of Pravda that is "Fair and Balanced", and an insanely expensive Military that is crippling us with debt. We wiretap our citizens without warrants, kidnap and torture people all around the world, and have states like Georgia that want to stop people and ask them for their papers, so that they can put them in camps.

    Soviet America, whoooah-oh!

    • baconzgood

      In America truth speaks the bagofmice.

    • hagajim

      Not sure anyone could have said it better. Upfist galore.

    • horsedreamer_1

      So, do we have to take away the victory in the Cold War from George H.W. Bush?

      Is Bush-41 the Jim Tressel of politics?

    • MissTaken

      And we do make some damn fine vodka – Hangar One, anyone?

    • freakishlywrong

      And we're up to our armpits in oligarchs.

    • fuflans

      wonkette is our samizdat.

    • proudgrampa

      Well said, bagofmice.

      Further, we will be seeing currency controls, travel that is more restricted, and confiscation of just about every liberty we have.

      Have I mentioned that we are freakin' doomed?

      Buy gold, silver and oil. As inflation destroys the dollar, they are going to be the only things worth owning (and the government will probably take those from us, too).

      • AbandonHope

        Silver has always seemed like a way better investment than gold, in that it has far more industrial uses. Tarnishes, though, so I guess there's that.

      • zhubajie

        Orlov suggests stocking up on condoms, nuts, bolts, screws, batteries: small things that everyone needs but can't make themselves. Also, learn to grow your own veggies and to make friends with your neighbors.

    • BTWBFDIMHO

      They have Putin, we have Palin.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        What a fantastic pair of hunting buddies they'd be! I have a scifi/fantasy cover painting in mind, and it's scaring me.

    • http://wonkette.com Ken Layne

      One thing we'll never have: a stunningly beautiful female population, all about six-foot-four and able to drink vodka 'til dawn.

      • axmxz

        You're thinking of Denmark.

      • flamingpdog

        Time to institute gubmint-sponsored Russian bride immigration to 'Mur'ca. But that would be soshulism … of soshulism? I need wodka.

      • user-of-owls

        Until they have the first baby. Then it's All Babushka All The Time.

      • zhubajie

        http://news.ninemsn.com.au/world/8272204/salon-ow

        A man who tried to rob a hairdresser in Russia wound up being handcuffed to a radiator, force fed Viagra and kept as a sex slave for three days by the salon owner, a 28-year-old woman.

    • axmxz

      Actually, we're like a bizzarro USSR: they had a creaky but operational space program, frustrating but life-sustaining universal healthcare, and hordes of grumpy world-class engineers in jobs below their skill level. America has a flashy but useless (now defunct altogether) space program, gadget-happy but unaffordable healthcare, and hordes of liberal arts majors shuffling paper for credit card companies.

    • user-of-owls

      Well, sure, if you put it like that, I mean, you know?

    • GOPCrusher

      Carlos Mencia will be America's Yakov Smirnoff?

    • zhubajie

      Dimitry Orlov, _Reinventing Collapse_ . cluborlov.blogspot.com

  • CapeClod

    I think we should sell our fleet of Los Angeles class attack submarines to, say, Switzerland so that Moodys knows that we have some ready cash.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Swiss Navy? Does Slovenia know about this?

  • mumbly_joe

    Wait, so saying, publicly, that you're not going to be paying your bills somehow has consequences? Who would have suspected.

    • horsedreamer_1

      As a tribute, at tonite's midnite opening for Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows, Pt. 2, I'm going to yell, "Fire!"

  • MissTaken

    Call JG Wentworth

    877-CASH-NOW!

  • ttommyunger

    So, if the Country defaults, interest rates will go up. Who gets the extra money when interest rates go up? THE FUCKING BANKERS, RIGHT? I get the funny feeling that the fix is in, folks and either way; they make out like bandits and we take it up the ass.

    • PuckStopsHere

      C'mon, now. When has that ever happened?

  • Guppy06

    I'd like to see this happen just so Moody's can lose the relevance they don't deserve.

  • fuflans

    good thing we don't have anything else to worry about.

  • DahBoner

    Republican presidents ran up 8 out of 9 Trillion of debt.

    And now, when a Black man is around, they don't want to pay it back…

  • BarackMyWorld

    This economic brinksmanship ends 5-minutes after the bond-holders threaten to withhold their campaign contributions. FACT.

    • notreelyhelping

      Yep.

    • GOPCrusher

      I'm surprised that Eric Cantor hasn't gotten a phone call from Goldman Sachs or someone like and explained to him to stop fucking around.

  • proudgrampa

    Why are these agencies (Moody's, Standard and Poor's, Fitch) always so late to the party? These assholes should have started the downgrade process months (if not years) ago.

    By now, we would have been on the other side of any crisis. As long as we keep kicking the can down the road, the consequences are just going to get worse.

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    American Excess, just leave the home of the braves without it.

    • horsedreamer_1

      So, you're saying, the Native Americans are going to repossess us?

  • Callyson

    No reason to trust Moody's, to be sure, but then again the Reeps are trying to say that a default would be no big deal. So confused…do I go with what the evil Wall Street lackeys are saying…or with what the evil Wall Street lackeys are saying?

  • Wilcoxyz

    You libtards need to think inside the tiny, airless libertarian box.

    We create our own bond rating agency. Call it Randy's. And presto, we'll even get an upgrade.

  • Fox n Fiends

    fuck Moody's lets see what China say about their investment.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Because a AAA from Moody's always guarantees the quality of the investment, right?

  • zhubajie

    When Argentina defaulted, around 2000, some of the provinces started paying employees with "bonds", some with Isobel Peron's picture! MN, here's your answer! "Bonds" for workers! With Bachmann's picture on them!