they got our vote

Screw White Olds’ Tea Party, Latinos Starting Tequila Party

that is secretly WALNUTS by the way.There are many actual “Mexican-looking people” who live alongside their humorless Teabagger neighbors always crowding Arizona’s legislative agenda with endless bills to outlaw brown skin, a project which brown-skinned people mysteriously do not appreciate. Luckily for people who do not love ethnic warfare, however, some of these Latino people are both tired of this and have a sense of humor about it, so they started the “Tequila Party.” We seem to remember having joined a “Tequila Party” last weekend, so apparently they already got our vote!

“Sip don’t shoot” is our tequila mantra. Hey, that is not a bad slogan, if you do not want the gun lobby’s support. Did we want them anyway? No, they are all at the “Tea Party,” which is boring and ended at 6 o’ clock.

From NPR:

Arizona Republican DeeDee Garcia Blase formed the National Tequila Party Movement as an answer to a Tea Party influence she blames for increased political opposition to immigration.

The group has no aspirations to become a third political party. Its focus will be registering as many of the nation’s 21 million voting-age Latinos as it can, targeting young voters in presidential battleground states.

Unlike the Tea Party groups, which have generally aligned with Republicans, the Tequila Party pledges no allegiance to either major party. Blase has dropped her affiliation as a lifelong Republican — and plans to resign as president of Somos Republicans — to protest the Republican-led immigration enforcement law passed in her home state of Arizona. The Tequila Party held its launch party in Tucson last month.

Does WALNUTS know about this yet? We feel like this is a good place for him to put some color back in those old flaccid jowls. WALNUTS/ TEQUILA WORM 2012! VIVA!!! [NPR]

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    1. Not_So_Much

      Ditto — I've been deep into voting and drinking high-grade tequila (simultaneously) for years. Viva la revolution!

      1. Swampgas_Man

        I need a couple sips of Pinot Noir just to work up the nerve to get into a voting booth these days. Gawd knows what I'd do fortified w/ tequila.

    1. FNMA

      My wife's Mexican too! Well, half Mexican and half Irish. She has a love-hate relationship with tequila.

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        Ha! Your wife should talk to my wife. She's half Mexican, Half Irish and half Croatian.

    2. Come here a minute

      Pacifico? What part of "Tequila Party" don't you understand? The tequila part, I guess.

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        Tequila with Pacifico chasers. That is the way they did it when I was in Mazatlan. They wouldn't stop handing them to me ("No charge, Señor!") because I brought a 100-lb tuna I caught that day to the hotel fiesta cookout. That was a fun night.

        The next morning? Not so much.

    3. fartknocker

      My wife is a red-head of Scottish decent. At 50 she has a butt you can bounce a quarter on. When she drinks Heradura Silver tequila, she becomes quite randy. I'll bring 2 bottles, some salt, and sausage queso.

      Did I tell you my gorgeous red-head wife becomes very randy when she drinks tequila? I mean, aggressive scream like a cat in heat randy.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        "I'll bring 2 bottles, some salt, and sausage queso."

        Uh, are you bringing her, too?

    1. OneDollarJuana

      Will it be the political equivalent of Long Island Iced Tea? Seems tame, but f*cks you up anyway?

    1. nounverb911

      You're a cab!

      (I always liked the expression: Why paint me yellow and call me a taxi.)

      1. Barb

        LOl, I meant a taxi, silly. I want a fashionable driver though. One who has already changed his wool turban to a gauzy summer white turban. I don't want to smell him sweating.

    2. bagofmice

      That sounds more like the aftermath of the Tequila Party. Waking up covered in salt, a lime in your ear, and calling a cab.

      1. Barb

        Yes, Bagofmice. That and calling your BFF and telling her, "I don't wanna drink tequila anymore, it makes my pussy hurt"

          1. KeepFnThatChicken

            Yes. My personal favorite is El Ultimo, and that Cabo Wabo stuff ain't too bad either.

          2. SorosBot

            Isn't Cabo Wabo the one created by Sammy Hagar? You'd think it would taste like a pale imitation of a tequila created by David Lee Roth.

          3. GOPCrusher

            Yes it is. And it's no wonder that The Red Rocker is getting rich from selling it, for what they charge for a bottle of it.

          4. anniegetyerfun

            My parents return from Mexico every year with several bottles of tequila that they insist are "quite smooth". If by "smooth", you mean, "like rubbing alcohol mixed with burning death", then yes, I guess they are smooth.

          5. OneDollarJuana

            "Smooth" as in "smooths the wrinkles outa your brain so you can't think anymore".

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Good tequila, like any good booze, rates sipping. But the truly good stuff is expensive, my Don Julio silver goes for around $55 a fifth. Cheap shit like Cuervo goes in the blender.

      1. LesPaultard

        Tip for non-tequila peeps….get 100% agave. Not "Made with agave", but 100%. Hornitos and 1800 are bottom of the line for that, and either one is a huge step up from Cuervo.

      1. Barb

        Yes, but she has brain freeze because, literally, her brain is in the freezer. (in the house her parents used to live in when she was 3 and has now since been torn down, along with the freezer)

    1. Not_So_Much

      When you shout it like that, I feel like there should be D-grade pron muzak playing in the background…bow-chicka-wow-wowwww

  1. OkieDokieDog

    Darn it. Peoples of color always have more fun than white peoples. Being white is so boring. Even with a Boehner spray on tan, I'd still look white… or orange. Whatever. Boring.

    Viva la Revolucion !

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      Lol. You didn't grow up around Catholics, did you?

      "Fruit of the vine and work of human hands, it has become for us our spiritual drink"

      That's straight outta the liturgy for your basic Catholic mass, just before we start guzzling Jesus' blood.

      1. OkieDokieDog

        No – Baptists. The kind that went to church every time the door was open, and the kind that got drunk guzzling down Coors & Bud every chance they got and only went to church for funerals.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Humorless Seattle will continue sipping down our bitter drip coffee and avoiding eye contact with those around us.

  2. freakishlywrong

    DeeDee Garcia Blase learned the hard way about her political affiliations. (pssst..they don't like you, you're Messicun). She is a wise Latina (preferably on the rocks.)

  3. proudgrampa

    I, for one, welcome the Tequila Party.

    I will be starting a Special Interest Group: The Martini For Lunch Bunch.

  4. SorosBot

    Chances are that someone over at Free Republic, Red State or Breibart is already claiming (lying) that they're going to be practicing voter fraud or registering "illegals".

    1. genxr

      That right wing kid is already getting his undercover camera and dressing up like Pancho Villa.

      1. SorosBot

        Oh yes, and when O'Keefe releases his "sting" video the media will initially reply it as credible and ignore how everything he's released was dishonestly edited to the point of being slander.

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        Take your "brown" to the BrightFart site, father_moron … they're the sort who'll find it amusing.

        1. father_moray

          I no longer run with the storm, but would much rather crap in your soup bowl, wizard. Since you brought it up, tell me what all those toilet plunger dents are doing on your forehead and neck? Fail your Mum's First Inspection, HadjiBot? And who said, "Wizard's smell like Shaft Fungus?" I agree.

  5. WhatTheHeck

    But the cops are still gonna harass them as they drive around on their lowrider hoverounds.

  6. TanzbodenKoenig

    If I join this "Tequila Party" does that mean I'll black out and wake up when the election is over with no pants on and a raging hangover, like a normal tequila party? If so, I'm in, beats 18 more months of this kabuki snuff film circle jerk of an election

    1. proudgrampa

      I'm with you, Tanz. The prospect of another 18 months of this crap is enough to make me want to hibernate (but a state of constant inebriation is an acceptable substitute).

    2. DashboardBuddha

      "kabuki snuff film circle jerk of an election "

      Coffee on my keyboard now, thank you.

    1. Buckminster

      If being lined up on the curb holding our girlfriends' hair while they puke is united, this party is it.

      (I feel sick a little myself already.)

  7. slithytoves

    …if you do not want the gun lobby’s support. Did we want them anyway? No, they are all at the “Tea Party,” which is boring and ended at 6 o’ clock.,

    I don't know, if we could get the gun lobby to drink more tequila they might just win a Darwin award.

  8. CapeClod

    They can take the Gadsden Flag, cross out "Don't Tread on Me" and replace it with "Eat the Worm."

  9. GeoffPeterson

    I never thought I would see the day when a tea party was more violent than a tequila party.

  10. JoshuaNorton

    How do you like those "carry a gun for 'merica and Jesus" laws now, mofos? Should go great with Tequila.

  11. poncho_pilot

    i'd say let's start the Vodka Party but they already think we're commie-socialist-islamist-atheists anyway.

  12. inapewetrust

    dishonest, deceptively edited james o'keefe video suggesting that this get-out-the-vote effort is really an elaborate front for diamond-toothed drug lords in 3…2…1…

  13. HobbesEvilTwin

    So it just now occurred to Ms. Garcia that the Republic Party doesn't care too much for the browns?

    1. Guppy06

      When the local country club can't hire groundskeepers for less than minimum wage, the GOP has gone too far!

  14. smitallica

    Well at least the name Tequila Party doesn't reinforce all the stereotypes the Teabaggers already have about the drunk, lazy Mexicans.

    1. chicken_thief

      That stereotype would be the blacks. The Teabaggers see too many Messicuns everyday mowing lawns, cleaning white folk homes, and bussing tables to think that Messicuns is lazy.

  15. fartknocker

    Will LimeyLizzie be at this event? I suspect she becomes quite sexy-good after some tequila.

    1. HistoriCat

      I suspect she becomes quite even more sexy-good after some tequila.

      Fixed that for you.

  16. littlebigdaddy

    Maybe they can get that guy from the Dos Equis commercial. Way cooler than woever the baggers could trot out.

    1. Steverino247

      I don't always vote, but when I do, it's not for those pendejos. Stay liberal my friends.

  17. DahBoner

    "Blase has dropped her affiliation as a lifelong Republican'


  18. OneDollarJuana

    "The group has no aspirations …"

    That's because it was founded by someone who is Blase.

    1. HobbesEvilTwin

      That's because it was founded by someone who is Blase.

      Or it could be because it was founded by a lazy messican.

  19. proudgrampa

    Arriba y adelante!

    (That, and "Donde esta el Bano?" are the extent of my multilingual capabilities).

  20. Mahousu

    We seem to remember having joined a “Tequila Party” last weekend…
    I'm sorry, but it's like the '60's – if you can remember the Tequila Party, then you weren't really there.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      More or less my reaction to Rick Perry's presidential aspirabberations: "Read my lips: No more Texans!"

  21. Guppy06

    If only more Republicans could look past the color of their neighbors' skin, to stop seeing Mexicans and start seeing anti-abortion, anti-gay voters.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      The GOPpers tried, but they discovered that Mexicans make lousy teabagger material: they're devoutly religious, rather than rabidly religious.

    2. father_moray

      Guppy…what a racist thing to say. America welcomes immigrants who enter legally. So what's your problem besides seeing the size of the Tea Party Tsunami building in deep waters that will return America to her principles again. Illegals should try again the right way. The more the merrier. Obviously your racist comment is simply to racially divide like democrat communists tell you to. Obviously you are a couple steps lower than a human bite-infected Zombie.

  22. chicken_thief

    Wise choice to limit the planks in the Party platform to one. After stumbling home at 3 AM after yet another (yeeha!!!) political rally, it's not likely that anyone would remember the rest of the issues anyway.

  23. Eve8Apples

    Instead of riding hover rounds, they can cruise around on donkeys wearing sombreros.

    I will support their cause by wearing my "Pedro for President" t-shirt.

  24. mrpuma2u

    Now this is a party people party!!!! Can blended drinks containing tequila be an additional plank? This great restaurant by my house makes a wicked tamarind margarita.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      That's how you make it inclusive!
      (I make a wicked pomegranate margarita … but I have no idea what sort of crowd that's going to attract.)

  25. donner_froh

    Somos Republicans–although we are far from Arizona, that is a term we hear a lot around southeast Michigan:

    "So, mos' Republicans are assholes…"

      1. Negropolis

        What ever it pays your skanky, filthy-assed mother for her unique and peculiar services; that's how much.

  26. horsedreamer_1

    Bristol is going to join. She figures getting pregnant, again, will extend her fifteen minutes.

  27. DahBoner

    "The Tequila Party held its launch party in Tucson last month.'

    You wonder if after sitting around drinking shots of Tequilla, they might get hungry and order out for some Caucasian food?

    1. father_moray

      You mean like a water restricted Democrat toilet? Or a toxic lightbulb from Ceylon that costs as much as a Harley? The Whitehouse gets high…high on Hamas…rolla big fatty for me, highBall.

  28. Biel_ze_Bubba

    Admit it: after your fifth or sixth margarita, you'll be looking around to see if she's there.

  29. C_R_Eature

    I'd join the Tee-quila party!
    But only with a cool flag update:

    [IMAGE] (Gadsen flag snake curled around tequila bottle)

    " Don't Tread Fall Hurl On Me!"

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